S10 EP3: Parenting Hell Mixtape 的完整文字稿

were aiming for us. 81 00:03:48.520 --> 00:03:52.060 That piece of Bethnal Green, and it was completely flattened 82 00:03:52.099 --> 00:03:53.400 by the bloody Germans. 83 00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:54.509 Anyway.... 84 00:03:57.530 --> 00:04:00.389 So I think it's the light. I think the light 85 00:04:00.469 --> 00:04:04.340 is creeping in. So last night, I took such care 86 00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:06.759 over this blackout blind, but it's still creeping in on 87 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.800 the sides. And then there's a blind and then there's 88 00:04:08.819 --> 00:04:10.900 the curtains. The curtains are rubbish. The curtains are white. 89 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:13.189 I don't know why we bothered with those curtains. 90 00:04:14.610 --> 00:04:16.269 White curtains. 91 00:04:16.370 --> 00:04:20.189 That basic value pin foil, isn't it? White with a 92 00:04:20.269 --> 00:04:21.769 picture of a, I don't know, of. 93 00:04:23.290 --> 00:04:24.389 Fucking unicorn or giraffe. 94 00:04:24.410 --> 00:04:26.560 Yeah, what's the multicoloured elephant called? 95 00:04:27.389 --> 00:04:27.709 Elmer. 96 00:04:28.050 --> 00:04:28.930 Elmer, yes. 97 00:04:29.129 --> 00:04:30.350 Like Elmer curtains or something. 98 00:04:30.389 --> 00:04:30.750 I don't know. 99 00:04:30.769 --> 00:04:36.550 It's complete bullshit. But so, yeah, so I'm worried. I 100 00:04:36.589 --> 00:04:38.990 think it's because the summer's on the way, but obviously 101 00:04:39.009 --> 00:04:41.790 the clocks go back on Saturday night. So 6 a.m. 102 00:04:41.810 --> 00:04:45.209 will become 5 a.m. I mean, 7 a.m. 103 00:04:45.250 --> 00:04:46.389 We had six. 104 00:04:46.529 --> 00:04:48.800 I really thought this was it. We had seven or 105 00:04:48.810 --> 00:04:49.560 eight months of that. 106 00:04:50.069 --> 00:04:52.100 And had anything, had you done anything? 107 00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:54.339 We did do sleep training. 108 00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:55.560 But is that what did it? 109 00:04:55.970 --> 00:04:58.420 We did sleep training the first time and then he 110 00:04:58.449 --> 00:05:01.560 got ill. He had a really bad cold. This is pre-lockdown. 111 00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:04.800 And then because we had to go in and cuddle 112 00:05:04.819 --> 00:05:06.000 him and give him milk and stuff because he had 113 00:05:06.019 --> 00:05:07.959 this really bad cold, he kind of forgot all of 114 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:10.060 the sleep training. So then we did sleep training again. 115 00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:12.660 Yeah, because I think the common cold does give memory loss. 116 00:05:12.939 --> 00:05:17.379 Because I basically learned Pythagoras out of cold and I 117 00:05:17.399 --> 00:05:19.670 couldn't tell you anything about angles now. I forgot how 118 00:05:19.699 --> 00:05:22.009 to write. I live in a big circle. It's like 119 00:05:22.029 --> 00:05:23.860 the roundhouse by ours. I couldn't handle it. 120 00:05:24.360 --> 00:05:26.079 And then what happened the second time, it really clicked. 121 00:05:26.100 --> 00:05:27.899 And then he was sleeping through the night, but he 122 00:05:27.939 --> 00:05:31.680 was an early riser. And then his rising just became 123 00:05:31.939 --> 00:05:33.660 later and later. And then he sort of settled down 124 00:05:33.699 --> 00:05:36.160 at about between seven and quarter past seven. 125 00:05:36.379 --> 00:05:36.759 Great. 126 00:05:37.459 --> 00:05:39.360 But I think what's happened is now, because he's two, 127 00:05:39.699 --> 00:05:42.579 he was two in January. So it was three months ago. 128 00:05:42.600 --> 00:05:45.790 I think we're now entering the zone of maybe dropping 129 00:05:45.810 --> 00:05:48.569 his afternoon nap because he still has quite a substantial 130 00:05:48.610 --> 00:05:51.329 afternoon nap, which is also a ball ache in itself 131 00:05:51.350 --> 00:05:52.649 because that's when I tend to do a lot of 132 00:05:52.709 --> 00:05:53.610 stuff when he's asleep. 133 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.060 Because he's a very... How long's he having a nap for? 134 00:05:57.459 --> 00:05:57.759 You what? 135 00:05:58.139 --> 00:06:00.439 How long's his nap? Oh, I thought you said, what's 136 00:06:00.459 --> 00:06:03.019 he having a nap for? Because he's two. 137 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:04.839 You what? 138 00:06:04.860 --> 00:06:09.810 Lazy bastard. I thought you'd phrased the question in a 139 00:06:09.850 --> 00:06:12.050 really weird way. What's he having a nap for? Your 140 00:06:12.750 --> 00:06:14.670 baby's a bit tired, isn't he? 141 00:06:14.689 --> 00:06:15.009 Yeah. 142 00:06:15.610 --> 00:06:18.069 Come on, do me a favour. What's he drinking all 143 00:06:18.110 --> 00:06:18.870 that milk for? 144 00:06:18.889 --> 00:06:26.449 LAUGHTER Rob's never met a kid. 145 00:06:26.490 --> 00:06:28.189 It's quite a weird podcast. 146 00:06:27.730 --> 00:06:28.370 To do, actually. 147 00:06:28.430 --> 00:06:30.470 I've made it all up. I'm a character actor. 148 00:06:30.709 --> 00:06:33.110 He's winging it. It's finally been expressed. 149 00:06:33.149 --> 00:06:35.889 I'm rather trained. It's all based on his very fuzzy 150 00:06:35.949 --> 00:06:41.480 memories of his own childhood. First of all, can we 151 00:06:41.540 --> 00:06:43.959 remind the listeners of your set-up at home with the kids? 152 00:06:44.019 --> 00:06:44.660 How many have we got? 153 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:47.240 We've got four kids. We've got three under five. 154 00:06:47.259 --> 00:06:49.160 OK, so can you run us through the ages? 155 00:06:49.399 --> 00:06:53.839 Sophia is ten, Liberty's five, Johnny's three, and the gift 156 00:06:53.860 --> 00:06:54.899 from God is one. 157 00:06:55.319 --> 00:06:56.860 One. The gift from God. 158 00:06:57.019 --> 00:06:57.600 Oh, wow. 159 00:06:57.639 --> 00:06:58.459 The gift from God. 160 00:06:58.980 --> 00:07:01.480 And on top of this, you were texting me before this, 161 00:07:01.500 --> 00:07:03.490 it's quite stressful in your household because of the amount

162 00:07:03.500 --> 00:07:04.430 of animals you've got. 163 00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:07.790 Yeah, we've just got five little ducklings, but only two 164 00:07:07.810 --> 00:07:08.990 of them have hatched at the moment. 165 00:07:09.370 --> 00:07:10.089 Yeah. 166 00:07:10.189 --> 00:07:12.920 And we've got two orphan lambs that we're bottle feeding. 167 00:07:12.939 --> 00:07:16.980 And the last three kids are still bottle and dummy, 168 00:07:17.060 --> 00:07:19.680 so I'm not doing very well, really. 169 00:07:19.699 --> 00:07:21.660 So you've got three kids and two lambs all on 170 00:07:21.699 --> 00:07:23.199 the bottle at the same time. 171 00:07:23.339 --> 00:07:25.379 At least they're not all breastfeeding. That would be a nightmare. 172 00:07:25.660 --> 00:07:26.699 Good job we've got them on the bottle. 173 00:07:27.660 --> 00:07:29.879 I've got no breasts, so we can't have that. 174 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:32.139 Do you live in the countryside, then? 175 00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:32.220 No. 176 00:07:32.740 --> 00:07:32.879 No? 177 00:07:36.310 --> 00:07:36.670 Fair enough. 178 00:07:36.810 --> 00:07:37.240 Kind of. 179 00:07:37.569 --> 00:07:40.480 I think I'm just kind of trying to live the 180 00:07:40.540 --> 00:07:42.800 childhood I wanted through my own children. 181 00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:43.360 OK. 182 00:07:43.399 --> 00:07:45.560 Like, we were never allowed pets or anything like that, 183 00:07:45.620 --> 00:07:47.740 so I just try and give them as many pets 184 00:07:47.779 --> 00:07:48.240 as I can. 185 00:07:48.540 --> 00:07:50.050 Have you got cats and dogs as well? 186 00:07:50.379 --> 00:07:51.410 Yeah, two cats. 187 00:07:51.689 --> 00:07:52.250 Two cats. 188 00:07:52.829 --> 00:07:54.009 Our cats are 15. 189 00:07:54.009 --> 00:07:54.269 Okay. 190 00:07:54.290 --> 00:07:56.069 We got them when me and Pete first got together. 191 00:07:56.290 --> 00:07:58.529 We've got our dog, Jeffrey, who we got in lockdown. 192 00:07:58.550 --> 00:08:00.490 Okay. Lockdown dog. 193 00:08:00.870 --> 00:08:02.730 And we've got Lily and Lola, the lambs. 194 00:08:03.009 --> 00:08:03.269 Yep. 195 00:08:03.550 --> 00:08:08.129 And Jemima, the duck, who's just hatched today. And the 196 00:08:08.149 --> 00:08:10.889 other one hasn't got a name because he's literally just hatched. 197 00:08:11.079 --> 00:08:13.600 And then the other three haven't hatched yet. And we've 198 00:08:13.620 --> 00:08:16.160 got a great Dane called Ringo, who lives here part-time. 199 00:08:16.660 --> 00:08:17.339 Part-time? 200 00:08:17.379 --> 00:08:19.720 What's he doing with the rest of the time? 201 00:08:19.779 --> 00:08:21.160 He's at my brother's house the. 202 00:08:21.079 --> 00:08:23.600 Rest of the time. So that's two dogs. He just 203 00:08:23.620 --> 00:08:25.319 needs a little break sometimes, doesn't he? 204 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:30.339 They're quite calm, Great Danes, and it's a bit too much. 205 00:08:30.360 --> 00:08:33.580 But Pete's like, he didn't want any of these animals 206 00:08:33.820 --> 00:08:37.259 and he absolutely loves them. He nurses the lamb, has 207 00:08:37.330 --> 00:08:38.789 the lamb on his knee, feeding it with a bottle 208 00:08:38.850 --> 00:08:42.909 wrapped in a little blanket. He likes to play this 209 00:08:43.009 --> 00:08:45.370 cruel animal-hater role, but he loves it. 210 00:08:45.710 --> 00:08:47.970 But, Abi, when we were setting up the sound, what 211 00:08:48.009 --> 00:08:51.940 did Peter say to you about bringing back another live 212 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:52.720 thing to the house? 213 00:08:53.240 --> 00:08:56.019 Well, he said if I actually bring one more living 214 00:08:56.059 --> 00:08:57.580 thing into this house, he's going to leave me. 215 00:08:58.100 --> 00:09:01.220 OK, yeah, so you're sure that he's into all these animals? 216 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:03.990 Well, I'm trying to make him take the hint, that's 217 00:09:04.009 --> 00:09:04.730 why I keep getting them. 218 00:09:05.049 --> 00:09:07.590 Yeah, because when he was on, he was speaking about 219 00:09:07.610 --> 00:09:10.669 the time you were shouting from the background, because I 220 00:09:10.710 --> 00:09:13.409 asked him if he'd any parenting mishaps, and you were shouting, 221 00:09:13.460 --> 00:09:15.279 tell him about the farm, tell him about the farm, 222 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:17.700 and he refused to tell us. So was the farm 223 00:09:17.740 --> 00:09:19.240 the house, or was it at a farm? 224 00:09:19.500 --> 00:09:22.320 So the farm story, it was at an actual farm 225 00:09:22.580 --> 00:09:24.600 and I went to the toilet. I was gone for 226 00:09:24.700 --> 00:09:27.059 one second and I come back and he was just 227 00:09:27.100 --> 00:09:29.580 sitting there and I'm like, where's the baby? Couldn't find 228 00:09:29.620 --> 00:09:33.330 the baby anywhere. So I was hysterical and he'd escaped 229 00:09:33.659 --> 00:09:36.830 out of the contained indoor play area and was like 230 00:09:36.870 --> 00:09:40.549 a mile down the road by lambs and a lake 231 00:09:40.830 --> 00:09:41.629 and everything. 232 00:09:41.649 --> 00:09:41.789 Oh God. 233 00:09:42.350 --> 00:09:44.649 It was so, so I like battered Pete in front 234 00:09:44.669 --> 00:09:45.809 of everyone in the farm. 235 00:09:46.029 --> 00:09:46.269 Oh God. 236 00:09:47.169 --> 00:09:49.529 Poor Darren. I think I threw a cup of coffee 237 00:09:49.570 --> 00:09:53.500 on him. You know, it was a nightmare. Because I'm 238 00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:56.019 just so worried about anything happening to them. 239 00:09:56.039 --> 00:09:56.279 Of course. 240 00:09:56.330 --> 00:09:59.309 And he's just far too late. He's just so late back. 241 00:09:59.529 --> 00:09:59.970 It's a joke. 242 00:10:00.529 --> 00:10:02.950 Imagine the anecdote those people who've gone to the farm 243 00:10:02.970 --> 00:10:04.210 have got from that day. 244 00:10:04.409 --> 00:10:04.669 Oh, I know. 245 00:10:04.789 --> 00:10:06.710 What

did you see? Well, some sheep. And I also 246 00:10:06.730 --> 00:10:09.149 saw Abby Clancy throw a coffee on Peter Crouch. 247 00:10:09.169 --> 00:10:10.100 It was amazing. 248 00:10:10.340 --> 00:10:12.860 I threw the coffee at him and punched him. It's like, 249 00:10:13.179 --> 00:10:15.659 I don't condone violence at all, but it was out 250 00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:16.139 of panic. 251 00:10:16.460 --> 00:10:16.639 Yes. 252 00:10:17.220 --> 00:10:18.120 I think you could be let off. 253 00:10:18.200 --> 00:10:21.500 Yeah, I was terrified. Yeah, he's just too laid back 254 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:24.139 and he forgot the baby bag. That's his favourite thing 255 00:10:24.179 --> 00:10:24.519 to do. 256 00:10:24.840 --> 00:10:27.179 So how's the sort of parenting split? Obviously, because Peter, 257 00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:29.059 when he was playing football, was really busy. 258 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:30.000 Now he's retired. 259 00:10:30.019 --> 00:10:31.620 He sort of does a bit of work, but not 260 00:10:31.659 --> 00:10:34.480 as busy as he was. And you're still modelling and presenting. 261 00:10:34.820 --> 00:10:38.360 What's the sort of, you know, divvying up of responsibilities? 262 00:10:38.600 --> 00:10:40.370 Is it more you than Peter? That's what I'm getting 263 00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:40.710 from this. 264 00:10:40.799 --> 00:10:43.610 I think so, because I'm not working as much as 265 00:10:43.659 --> 00:10:45.730 Peter at the moment because my baby's only one. So 266 00:10:45.750 --> 00:10:47.809 I'm kind of enjoying just being at home with the kids. 267 00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:50.240 And when Pete goes to work, I just throw them 268 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:52.440 at him. And he's like, I've been at work all day. 269 00:10:52.460 --> 00:10:56.649 And I'm like, tag, short hair now. But I can't 270 00:10:56.690 --> 00:10:59.129 complain about Pete. There's one thing he is, he's an 271 00:10:59.169 --> 00:11:02.929 amazing dad. Like all jokes aside, you know. No matter 272 00:11:02.970 --> 00:11:06.820 how hungover he is, how tired he is, he's still, like, 100%, 273 00:11:06.820 --> 00:11:09.720 100% with the kids, or I'm, like, normally dying somewhere. 274 00:11:09.740 --> 00:11:12.679 Oh, I can't do it if I'm hungover. I'm such 275 00:11:12.740 --> 00:11:13.960 a bad hungover parent. 276 00:11:14.039 --> 00:11:16.240 It's horrible, isn't it? It just, like, cuts me off 277 00:11:16.279 --> 00:11:16.740 from drinking. 278 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:19.870 I swear the drinks make kids get louder the next day. 279 00:11:19.909 --> 00:11:21.690 I don't know what it is, but just something just 280 00:11:21.730 --> 00:11:22.509 sends them over the edge. 281 00:11:22.710 --> 00:11:24.769 And mine are all too young to just get on 282 00:11:24.789 --> 00:11:25.769 the couch and watch a movie. 283 00:11:25.830 --> 00:11:25.899 Yes. 284 00:11:27.049 --> 00:11:29.240 It's just like they're not movie age you have to 285 00:11:29.250 --> 00:11:29.990 just play with them. 286 00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:33.000 All day are you finished at four yeah is that 287 00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:35.240 sort of your sort of like if you sort of 288 00:11:35.299 --> 00:11:36.840 like it's your opium it's getting off getting off the 289 00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:41.090 heroin of kids you're starting with farm animals i was actually. 290 00:11:40.870 --> 00:11:43.509 Finished with three yeah and then i found like i 291 00:11:43.549 --> 00:11:45.509 went for a fitting and they were like the girl's 292 00:11:45.529 --> 00:11:48.450 like are you pregnant by any chance she could tell 293 00:11:48.750 --> 00:11:50.629 by my body Really? 294 00:11:50.820 --> 00:11:51.769 That's how you found out? 295 00:11:51.789 --> 00:11:53.779 I was like, no chance. And then I did a 296 00:11:53.820 --> 00:11:55.639 test and called Pete and he was in the car 297 00:11:55.659 --> 00:11:59.220 with Glenn Johnson. And I was like, Pete, I've got 298 00:11:59.240 --> 00:12:01.320 something to tell you. And he went, if you're about 299 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:02.940 to say what I think you're about to say, just 300 00:12:02.980 --> 00:12:05.259 don't say it. And he had another two hours left 301 00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:07.350 until he got home and I was so scared. And 302 00:12:07.370 --> 00:12:08.889 then he got home and he was like, I've had 303 00:12:08.929 --> 00:12:10.169 time to think and it's okay. 304 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:14.340 Oh, my God. So it was a complete surprise. 305 00:12:14.679 --> 00:12:16.740 It was a surprise. We hated each other at that 306 00:12:16.779 --> 00:12:18.360 point as well, so I don't even know how I 307 00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:22.320 got pregnant, to be quite honest. Like, the pregnancy with 308 00:12:22.379 --> 00:12:23.830 Johnny was hell. 309 00:12:24.110 --> 00:12:25.149 Johnny's your youngest, yeah? 310 00:12:25.350 --> 00:12:27.330 No, Johnny's the three-year-old. 311 00:12:27.570 --> 00:12:28.210 OK, cool, yeah. 312 00:12:28.490 --> 00:12:31.870 So I hated him, he hated me, and I don't 313 00:12:31.929 --> 00:12:34.230 even know how it happened. That's why we call him 314 00:12:34.250 --> 00:12:37.779 the gift from God. LAUGHTER But you know what? He's 315 00:12:37.860 --> 00:12:41.460 just wonderful. He's just fabulous and he's just fitted in 316 00:12:41.700 --> 00:12:43.529 so well and he's not one bit of trouble. 317 00:12:43.940 --> 00:12:47.820 So it's 8.15pm at the moment. They're all in bed, Josh. 318 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:51.190 We've got it down. That's amazing. How have you done it? 319 00:12:51.600 --> 00:12:53.279 I was the first out of my friends to have 320 00:12:53.330 --> 00:12:57.190 my babies. And I would always feel bad about letting 321 00:12:57.210 --> 00:13:00.090 them down for an event or going round to theirs 322 00:13:00.129 --> 00:13:02.889 for dinner or whatever. And all my friends just bail. 323 00:13:02.909 --> 00:13:04.350 I can't do it. I've got the baby and they've 324

00:13:04.389 --> 00:13:04.889 got one. 325 00:13:04.909 --> 00:13:07.049 I'm like, you're so pathetic. 326 00:13:07.070 --> 00:13:10.110 LAUGHTER like me and pete laugh at people and go 327 00:13:10.129 --> 00:13:13.419 like oh god look at them moaning about one child 328 00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:16.039 or two children we've got four you know so we 329 00:13:16.059 --> 00:13:18.610 feel quite smug about that but You know, they're in 330 00:13:18.649 --> 00:13:21.480 bed now. Jack goes to sleep seven till seven. But 331 00:13:21.529 --> 00:13:23.500 Johnny and Lib are in our bed now. And then 332 00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:25.539 we'll have to get them out of our bed. 333 00:13:25.860 --> 00:13:26.500 Oh, OK. 334 00:13:26.779 --> 00:13:29.200 So what's the bedtime schedule then? Do you try and 335 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:31.639 bath them all together or is this a rota? 336 00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:33.090 They're all in the bath together. 337 00:13:33.370 --> 00:13:35.809 What time's that? I'm obsessed with people's schedules. 338 00:13:35.870 --> 00:13:36.870 I know what you're saying. 339 00:13:37.070 --> 00:13:38.149 So we eat early. 340 00:13:38.169 --> 00:13:39.490 We eat about half five. 341 00:13:39.909 --> 00:13:42.149 And do you and Peter eat at half five as well? 342 00:13:42.289 --> 00:13:43.779 Or is it just the kids? And that's it? 343 00:13:44.139 --> 00:13:45.720 Well, no, then we have like, Pete will bring me 344 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:48.139 like a cup of tea and Bicky's in bed at 345 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:50.820 like 10. And he'll have like toast or whatever. Or 346 00:13:50.860 --> 00:13:52.700 a pot noodle, which makes me sick. 347 00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:53.639 Oh, God. 348 00:13:53.899 --> 00:13:55.070 Pot noodle in bed? 349 00:13:55.250 --> 00:13:57.309 No, not in bed. Before bed. 350 00:13:57.570 --> 00:13:57.909 All right. 351 00:13:58.190 --> 00:14:01.009 And I can't get my head around an athlete that would, 352 00:14:01.289 --> 00:14:03.169 even though they know all about nutrition, he's still banging 353 00:14:03.190 --> 00:14:03.889 back a pot noodle. 354 00:14:04.090 --> 00:14:07.639 Yeah, he loves them artificial ready meal things, you know, 355 00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:09.840 like a Rizzler, is it called like a Rizzler's. 356 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:10.200 Burger or whatever? 357 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:10.860 Oh, no. 358 00:14:10.980 --> 00:14:11.700 Oh, Rustlers. 359 00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:13.240 Rustlers, yeah, oh, they're awful. 360 00:14:13.639 --> 00:14:16.960 Anything like that, he loves. I think it's because he's 361 00:14:16.980 --> 00:14:19.019 been so deprived his whole life, being an athlete, and 362 00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:19.990 having to eat so well. 363 00:14:20.299 --> 00:14:20.519 Yeah. 364 00:14:20.570 --> 00:14:22.269 He's like kind of binging on junk. 365 00:14:22.730 --> 00:14:24.990 So they all get in the bath together in one go. 366 00:14:25.009 --> 00:14:27.169 So they all get in the bath together, then I

367 00:14:27.610 --> 00:14:29.389 try and keep them in there as long as possible 368 00:14:29.629 --> 00:14:31.590 to like waste some time. 369 00:14:31.649 --> 00:14:31.830 Yeah. 370 00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:35.139 And then out about half six, then Jami's, then we 371 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:37.600 play run, catch before bed. So that's where they just 372 00:14:37.620 --> 00:14:39.970 like run on the landing and we have to catch them. 373 00:14:40.419 --> 00:14:40.610 Yeah. 374 00:14:40.769 --> 00:14:42.429 And then put them into bed. So that lasts about 375 00:14:42.470 --> 00:14:44.909 half an hour. Then Jack goes down. and then Liberty 376 00:14:44.929 --> 00:14:46.049 and Johnny go in our bed. 377 00:14:46.350 --> 00:14:46.570 Yeah. 378 00:14:46.750 --> 00:14:49.009 Our kids aren't, like, big for stories. You know, we 379 00:14:49.029 --> 00:14:51.519 try and do that whole story thing and go to bed, 380 00:14:51.539 --> 00:14:53.100 but they don't want it, so we just put, like, 381 00:14:53.799 --> 00:14:56.120 something on for ten minutes, then they fall asleep, and 382 00:14:56.139 --> 00:14:59.039 then we put them in their bed, and then when 383 00:14:59.059 --> 00:15:01.129 we go to bed about half an hour later, Johnny 384 00:15:01.169 --> 00:15:03.409 comes in with us. He sleeps there all night, and 385 00:15:03.429 --> 00:15:06.070 then we've got a single mattress... on the floor next 386 00:15:06.110 --> 00:15:10.049 to our bed where liberty sleeps really yeah and then 387 00:15:10.110 --> 00:15:12.409 liberty gets out of the single bed and in our 388 00:15:12.470 --> 00:15:14.929 bed and then pete goes on the single mattress on the. 389 00:15:15.029 --> 00:15:20.990 Floor but every night like clockwork wow what a setup that's. 390 00:15:20.789 --> 00:15:23.580 Amazing they're so good but there's just too many of 391 00:15:23.620 --> 00:15:27.480 them we have to kind of bend the rules a 392 00:15:27.500 --> 00:15:30.340 bit you know the schedules just don't the routines are 393 00:15:30.379 --> 00:15:32.620 just we've got our own little routine going on and it. 394 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:39.120 Works Have you been on your own with the baby yet? 395 00:15:39.700 --> 00:15:41.559 Or Laura been on her own with the baby? Like, 396 00:15:41.580 --> 00:15:44.000 have you had sole charge of the baby yet, Ian? 397 00:15:44.039 --> 00:15:47.480 I've had, well, again, because of the whole breastfeeding situ. 398 00:15:47.740 --> 00:15:47.980 Yeah. 399 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:51.029 I can get, I once looked after the baby. 400 00:15:50.830 --> 00:15:53.309 For three hours. Okay. 401 00:15:53.529 --> 00:15:56.070 It was a fabulous time. You put her in that 402 00:15:56.149 --> 00:15:57.149 bouncy chair thing. 403 00:15:57.230 --> 00:16:00.070 Have you got one of them? A bouncy chair? Oh, 404 00:16:00.129 --> 00:16:01.330 not the one on the door. I was like, she's 405 00:16:01.350 --> 00:16:02.200 a bit young for that. 406 00:16:02.220 --> 00:16:02.860 No, no, no. Come on. 407 00:16:06.129 --> 00:16:08.429 The Bjorn Borg one. Is it Bjorn Borg? Not Bjorn Borg. 408 00:16:08.529 --> 00:16:10.309 It's not Bjorn Borg. What is it? 409 00:16:10.330 --> 00:16:10.870 David Bjorn. 410 00:16:10.889 --> 00:16:12.330 Well, we've gone maxi cozy. 411 00:16:12.789 --> 00:16:13.490 Oh, classic. 412 00:16:13.570 --> 00:16:15.730 You can't go wrong with a cozy maxi maxi cozy, 413 00:16:15.750 --> 00:16:16.029 can you? 414 00:16:16.470 --> 00:16:16.690 No. 415 00:16:16.929 --> 00:16:19.190 So I put her in that. And then you could 416 00:16:19.210 --> 00:16:21.549 just sort of... And I've also worked out how to... 417 00:16:21.370 --> 00:16:22.309 You put them in the pram. 418 00:16:22.929 --> 00:16:23.129 Yeah. 419 00:16:23.389 --> 00:16:25.840 And then you can put your feet on the back 420 00:16:25.909 --> 00:16:28.080 two wheels and sort of get a sort of left 421 00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:30.200 to right motion. I've got for an entire half a 422 00:16:30.220 --> 00:16:31.460 football with them in there. 423 00:16:31.480 --> 00:16:31.700 Yeah. 424 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:35.440 A little rocking. A little bit of rocking. Love movement. 425 00:16:35.539 --> 00:16:37.500 I used to love taking, they do love movement. I 426 00:16:37.500 --> 00:16:39.120 used to love taking them for walks and listening to 427 00:16:39.139 --> 00:16:41.830 podcasts because the fresh air keeps them quiet and stuff. 428 00:16:41.990 --> 00:16:43.700 It's so counterintuitive, isn't it? 429 00:16:43.710 --> 00:16:47.669 Like you just think, don't move them. Don't make any noise. 430 00:16:47.710 --> 00:16:49.629 And they actually love a bit of noise and they 431 00:16:49.669 --> 00:16:50.250 love a bit of a. 432 00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:51.529 Yeah. 433 00:16:51.549 --> 00:16:53.509 Sometimes when our baby starts crying, we go from the 434 00:16:53.549 --> 00:16:56.019 pavement onto like, we go off road onto like the grass. 435 00:16:56.039 --> 00:16:56.980 She's out like a light. 436 00:16:57.240 --> 00:17:01.840 Off road. We off-road it. Can I just check? You 437 00:17:01.879 --> 00:17:03.399 mean in the pram, not when you're driving, right? 438 00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:03.860 Oh, yeah, no, no. 439 00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:06.420 I'm not like Colin McRae rallying it about. 440 00:17:07.299 --> 00:17:08.039 How do you feel about. 441 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:10.529 I was very nervous changing them when they're that small. 442 00:17:10.569 --> 00:17:12.400 And obviously I did it and I did the nappies and... 443 00:17:12.690 --> 00:17:15.369 put them in different clothes. But like, Lou would love 444 00:17:15.430 --> 00:17:17.049 like getting them in. Oh, let's put them in that outfit. 445 00:17:17.069 --> 00:17:18.650 I was like, they're in an outfit. Let's not risk 446 00:17:18.670 --> 00:17:20.490 it again. That arm is so little. 447 00:17:20.849 --> 00:17:23.319 I've had it so hard. I'm quite good at nappies. 448 00:17:23.450 -->

00:17:25.980 I'm very good at socks. I'm all right at trousers. 449 00:17:26.519 --> 00:17:29.460 I fall apart. It's anything that has to go over 450 00:17:29.519 --> 00:17:31.700 their head and put their arms in. I'm like, I 451 00:17:31.740 --> 00:17:35.819 am going to pull, I'm going to dislocate their shoulder. Yeah, 452 00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:37.500 I just feel like you're going to hold up like 453 00:17:37.539 --> 00:17:40.490 a turkey drumstick. Like, oh no, I've pulled too hard. 454 00:17:40.509 --> 00:17:41.130 That's exactly that. 455 00:17:42.069 --> 00:17:43.200 I don't know how people do it. 456 00:17:43.509 --> 00:17:46.230 My main fear was the soft bit on top. 457 00:17:46.029 --> 00:17:46.509 Of the head. 458 00:17:46.549 --> 00:17:47.849 Yeah, it's like an avocado. 459 00:17:47.910 --> 00:17:48.799 It's rank. 460 00:17:48.819 --> 00:17:51.359 And support the neck. You are in peak support the 461 00:17:51.400 --> 00:17:52.700 neck territory. 462 00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:55.400 And then that's all we do. We sort of ruin 463 00:17:55.420 --> 00:17:59.720 the fun of anyone else. Obviously, COVID is very rarely happens. 464 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:02.480 Anyone else that holds our baby just gets. 465 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:06.470 Support the neck. Yeah, but some people don't, do they? 466 00:18:06.710 --> 00:18:08.910 And even parents of other kids, they pick them up, 467 00:18:08.930 --> 00:18:10.950 their heads start rolling around like a bowling ball. 468 00:18:11.150 --> 00:18:12.509 And you're like, what are they doing? 469 00:18:13.099 --> 00:18:15.500 I hate someone that's got... I mean, hate. 470 00:18:15.559 --> 00:18:16.099 No, do you know what? 471 00:18:16.599 --> 00:18:17.000 Fuck it. 472 00:18:17.220 --> 00:18:17.619 I hate. 473 00:18:18.869 --> 00:18:21.759 people that have got like six seven year olds so 474 00:18:21.779 --> 00:18:24.559 they think there's still no babies and they've completely forgotten 475 00:18:24.579 --> 00:18:26.779 everything and they pick up yeah pick up your kid 476 00:18:26.819 --> 00:18:31.079 like it's an ikea shopping bag and they just think 477 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:33.589 they know i'm like you're six at least if they're 478 00:18:33.609 --> 00:18:35.650 like if your kid's like 10 11 they're like oh 479 00:18:35.670 --> 00:18:38.130 i've not done this for a while and they take 480 00:18:38.170 --> 00:18:41.529 some advice the owner of a five-year-old throws your kid 481 00:18:41.589 --> 00:18:43.549 about like like a bowling ball. 482 00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:46.700 Have you had many visitors, Ian? 483 00:18:46.859 --> 00:18:49.759 We've had the old six people in the garden. It 484 00:18:49.779 --> 00:18:52.539 was nice. And one of the couples expecting them, one 485 00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:54.220 of the couples has got a two-year-old. It was this 486 00:18:54.240 --> 00:18:58.400 nice sort of like rites of passage moment. And all 487 00:18:58.440 --> 00:19:00.160 the dads had a little beer in

the garden and 488 00:19:00.200 --> 00:19:02.619 discussed where they were at, which is really nice. And 489 00:19:02.660 --> 00:19:04.700 I've noticed that every parent says to me, because we're like, oh, 490 00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:06.440 it's all right, apart from the sleep, it's actually not 491 00:19:06.460 --> 00:19:10.680 too bad. It's really like, she's just, such a brilliant baby. 492 00:19:10.740 --> 00:19:12.329 And like, I mean, you think they're so beautiful and 493 00:19:12.369 --> 00:19:13.829 I have such a lovely time. You know, it's not 494 00:19:13.849 --> 00:19:15.369 as bad as I thought. And they're like, wait till this, 495 00:19:15.529 --> 00:19:17.230 everyone's like, wait till they start moving. 496 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:18.380 Yeah, I know. 497 00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:21.440 But you've got, everyone is so pessimistic and it is 498 00:19:21.500 --> 00:19:24.839 a bit harder when they're running about. But, You can't 499 00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:27.420 live in fear like that. If they're good at the moment, 500 00:19:27.509 --> 00:19:31.490 just blank that out. Because you'll always find some miserable bastard. 501 00:19:31.750 --> 00:19:33.509 And then they'll be like, oh, I think they're all right. 502 00:19:33.529 --> 00:19:35.230 Or you wait till they start school. And then they 503 00:19:35.250 --> 00:19:37.490 start school and it's fine. Or wait till they're a teenager. 504 00:19:37.529 --> 00:19:39.809 Why don't you fuck off? I can't wait for you 505 00:19:40.029 --> 00:19:42.950 to shut your mouth, mate. You're not helping. My kid's fine. 506 00:19:43.190 --> 00:19:44.529 Give me a break. 507 00:19:44.549 --> 00:19:47.369 Well, you know what it is? No one ever wants 508 00:19:47.410 --> 00:19:49.029 to hear that someone else is having a good time 509 00:19:49.049 --> 00:19:49.529 with their children. 510 00:19:49.569 --> 00:19:49.940 Yeah, no. 511 00:19:50.119 --> 00:19:51.640 The problem. No one wants that. 512 00:19:51.660 --> 00:19:54.640 But I find, honestly, I find that we've been absolutely, 513 00:19:54.700 --> 00:19:57.000 I think we've been really lucky. They took to the 514 00:19:57.339 --> 00:19:59.779 boob really well and took to the bottle really well. 515 00:19:59.799 --> 00:20:02.200 And I think that's a big, those are the two 516 00:20:02.220 --> 00:20:05.470 of the big... big ones aren't they when they're small 517 00:20:06.109 --> 00:20:07.990 and then sleep none of them sleep. 518 00:20:07.910 --> 00:20:10.039 No that's the thing i think as well it depends 519 00:20:10.059 --> 00:20:12.279 how stressful like what else is going on at the 520 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:14.119 time if you if it's you know I think you 521 00:20:14.140 --> 00:20:15.700 get in a role. If it's going quite well, it 522 00:20:15.740 --> 00:20:18.519 sort of carries on going well. But like out of 523 00:20:18.539 --> 00:20:20.380 your friendship group, are you one of the last ones 524 00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:21.869 to have kids or one of the first or about 525 00:20:21.880 --> 00:20:23.890 the middle? Because it's, you know, I think you get 526 00:20:23.910 --> 00:20:25.509 in a role. If it's going quite well, it sort 527 00:20:25.529 --> 00:20:28.349 of carries on going well. But like out of your 528 00:20:28.390 --> 00:20:30.130 friendship group, are you one of the last ones to 529 00:20:30.150 --> 00:20:31.849 have kids or one of the first or about the middle? 530 00:20:31.869 --> 00:20:33.210 Because it does change. 531 00:20:33.259 --> 00:20:35.559 Like I had groups of friends I just stopped seeing 532 00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:37.720 when they didn't have kids. And then now they started 533 00:20:37.740 --> 00:20:40.440 having kids. You see them more. But have you found 534 00:20:40.460 --> 00:20:41.779 that with your friendship groups and stuff? 535 00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:45.000 I find, and a lot of people I know agree, 536 00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:49.279 notice this, my friends from back home, I'm sort of 537 00:20:49.319 --> 00:20:50.240 the last one. 538 00:20:50.700 --> 00:20:51.920 They're all babied up. 539 00:20:53.039 --> 00:20:57.000 Two, three, you name it, little house outside, slow cooker chat, 540 00:20:57.180 --> 00:20:58.599 all that, the whole shebang, right? 541 00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:00.369 How old are you? 542 00:21:00.460 --> 00:21:03.920 I'm 33 years old. Which is like, you know, that's 543 00:21:03.940 --> 00:21:06.160 like 50 in Scotland, isn't it? 544 00:21:06.220 --> 00:21:07.160 I'm nearly done, mate. 545 00:21:07.180 --> 00:21:13.019 LAUGHTER People say things like this, iPhone's been in our 546 00:21:13.079 --> 00:21:18.119 family for five generations. And so Scotland, I'm quite far, 547 00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:20.839 not far behind, but I'm the back end of the curve. 548 00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:24.109 And then London, my mates, some of whom are older 549 00:21:24.150 --> 00:21:27.230 than me, look at me with my baby. like, I 550 00:21:27.470 --> 00:21:30.150 am an absolute maniac and you can't believe I've made 551 00:21:30.190 --> 00:21:31.970 this decision and why am I not waiting until I'm 552 00:21:31.970 --> 00:21:32.750 50 like everyone else? 553 00:21:32.769 --> 00:21:35.289 Yeah, but there'll be the 45-year-old on a skateboard in 554 00:21:35.309 --> 00:21:37.450 Finsbury Park with a two-year-old going, come on, mate. 555 00:21:37.470 --> 00:21:39.990 That's the one thing when you have a baby, I'm like, 556 00:21:40.029 --> 00:21:42.049 with the sleep and all that, I'm like, I don't 557 00:21:42.089 --> 00:21:44.769 think I'd be able to, like, I mean, again, now 558 00:21:44.809 --> 00:21:45.470 I'm being negative. 559 00:21:45.509 --> 00:21:46.339 You absolutely could. 560 00:21:46.380 --> 00:21:48.059 If you're an older dad here, of course you can. 561 00:21:48.119 --> 00:21:50.220 Maybe I just don't look after myself enough, but there 562 00:21:50.259 --> 00:21:52.640 is a thought of, like, doing night feeds when you're 563

00:21:52.660 --> 00:21:53.619 in your 40s or something. 564 00:21:53.640 --> 00:21:54.299 I'd be like, oh, I'd be. 565 00:21:54.970 --> 00:21:56.589 I don't know if I'd manage it. 566 00:21:56.630 --> 00:21:58.829 Yeah, like, get your back going as you get up. 567 00:21:58.910 --> 00:22:00.380 Like, oh, God, and all that. 568 00:22:00.450 --> 00:22:03.819 Trying to take your son to, like, five-a-size when you're, like, 569 00:22:04.099 --> 00:22:05.059 in your 60s. 570 00:22:05.380 --> 00:22:08.019 Yeah. I mean, I'm 35, and I make a noise 571 00:22:08.059 --> 00:22:09.859 putting socks on. It's certainly going to get worse. 572 00:22:09.880 --> 00:22:11.549 Yeah, but, Rob, let's be honest. You make a noise 573 00:22:11.569 --> 00:22:18.450 doing anything, don't you? So, Denmark, population about 5 million. 574 00:22:18.730 --> 00:22:21.450 I checked. I didn't know that. I've watched a documentary 575 00:22:21.490 --> 00:22:21.990 on Lego. 576 00:22:22.930 --> 00:22:23.670 Of course I have. 577 00:22:23.750 --> 00:22:27.230 I'm sure Rob has watched it as well. And they're 578 00:22:27.269 --> 00:22:30.410 based in like a small town that's just basically people 579 00:22:30.430 --> 00:22:32.349 who work at Lego, aren't they? Yeah, that's right. 580 00:22:32.869 --> 00:22:35.319 I live in the middle of nowhere. No, I'm not 581 00:22:35.380 --> 00:22:37.759 in the jazzy Copenhagen bit. It is the middle of 582 00:22:37.819 --> 00:22:42.200 nowhere in a place called rural Uland. And yes, there's 583 00:22:42.500 --> 00:22:45.380 not that much going on. I mean, we're very excited. 584 00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:48.279 Like post-COVID, the big four are open again and the 585 00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:52.170 big four are Legoland, Lego house, this place called Wow 586 00:22:52.210 --> 00:22:55.430 Park and the zoo. I mean, there's very little to do. 587 00:22:56.130 --> 00:22:58.920 Wow Park sounds amazing. I mean, you're really setting your 588 00:22:58.940 --> 00:23:00.549 stall out if it's just a Ferris wheel, isn't it? 589 00:23:00.819 --> 00:23:04.410 I know, the arrogance. Wow, that's not very Danish, is it? 590 00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:05.079 Wow Park. 591 00:23:05.099 --> 00:23:05.460 It's true. 592 00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:07.359 And how old are your children now? Sorry, we didn't 593 00:23:07.380 --> 00:23:08.240 get their ages. 594 00:23:08.309 --> 00:23:12.049 Yeah, so I have a little ginger child who no 595 00:23:12.089 --> 00:23:13.430 one knows where the ginger hair came from, but he 596 00:23:13.490 --> 00:23:15.930 is seven now and my twins are just turned four. 597 00:23:16.450 --> 00:23:17.569 So we are busy. 598 00:23:17.849 --> 00:23:21.309 Oh, blimey. That is a busy house. It's fairly recently 599 00:23:21.329 --> 00:23:24.450 then you wrote the book. And you've had about four since. 600 00:23:24.509 --> 00:23:27.170 You're banging out books at the rate of children at 601 00:23:27.190 --> 00:23:27.589 the moment. 602 00:23:27.890 --> 00:23:29.670 Well, there was a stage where I was just writing 603 00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:30.940 a book every time I had a baby. And then 604 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:33.059 I thought, well, I don't want another baby. Like, how 605 00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:35.240 am I going to do this? But yes, I think, well, 606 00:23:35.640 --> 00:23:37.599 because I have to be freelance here because my Danish 607 00:23:37.640 --> 00:23:41.559 is still terrible. And working as a journalist, I was 608 00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:44.720 a Scandinavia correspondent for The Guardian for a while. But actually, 609 00:23:44.940 --> 00:23:48.509 it's quite hard to react to news stories. I'd be asked, like, 610 00:23:48.529 --> 00:23:50.789 can I go and cover a bomb going off in Sweden? 611 00:23:50.890 --> 00:23:52.430 And I'd be like, no, I've got a shepherd's pie 612 00:23:52.470 --> 00:23:52.849 in the oven. 613 00:23:52.869 --> 00:23:55.349 It's very hard to do that once you have a kid. 614 00:23:55.750 --> 00:23:59.579 Books work quite well for that. So you moved over there. 615 00:23:59.619 --> 00:24:03.579 Your Danish is now not brilliant, you say. But presumably 616 00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:05.980 you had no Danish when you moved over there, right? 617 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:06.640 Would that be fair? 618 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:09.400 No, no Danish, no friends, no family. I mean, it 619 00:24:09.420 --> 00:24:11.440 was quite a shocker. 620 00:24:11.549 --> 00:24:12.210 What's that like? 621 00:24:12.589 --> 00:24:18.549 Well, I don't often sort of take big risks with bravado, 622 00:24:18.829 --> 00:24:21.390 but I somehow agreed to move here. And then my 623 00:24:21.430 --> 00:24:23.869 husband left to go to work at 7.30am because the 624 00:24:23.930 --> 00:24:26.390 working day starts at eight here and ends early as well. 625 00:24:26.859 --> 00:24:28.319 And I was just sort of in this bleak in 626 00:24:28.339 --> 00:24:30.420 the middle of nowhere in January. And it was very 627 00:24:30.460 --> 00:24:32.599 much like the killing, just forests all around. 628 00:24:32.619 --> 00:24:35.420 I thought, what have I done? Yeah. 629 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:38.900 So I think work was a real salvation there of 630 00:24:39.089 --> 00:24:41.109 just keeping busy and that helped me meet people as 631 00:24:41.150 --> 00:24:42.849 well and like build up friends around here so of 632 00:24:42.869 --> 00:24:43.630 course and. 633 00:24:43.589 --> 00:24:46.670 Do you genuinely believe though that a slightly more relaxed 634 00:24:46.849 --> 00:24:48.769 way of life helped you get pregnant or do you 635 00:24:48.789 --> 00:24:50.829 think it was more or more luck or do you 636 00:24:50.849 --> 00:24:52.730 think it had had an impact. 637 00:24:52.490 --> 00:24:55.049 Yeah I definitely think it had an impact because there 638 00:24:55.089 --> 00:24:57.329 was I'd been doing all of the things in London 639 00:24:57.349 --> 00:25:00.200 I'd been you know going to St Mary's Hospital

and 640 00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:03.599 going to Tooting every week. Three times a week, I 641 00:25:03.619 --> 00:25:05.769 was having all these appointments whilst trying to fit it 642 00:25:05.809 --> 00:25:07.789 in and around my really high-powered job. 643 00:25:07.910 --> 00:25:08.789 Was that IVF? 644 00:25:08.869 --> 00:25:09.890 Yeah, yeah. 645 00:25:10.230 --> 00:25:14.210 And then here, it was just a different pace of life. However, interestingly, 646 00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:17.920 for having the twins, it's very hard to relax... enough 647 00:25:17.960 --> 00:25:20.220 to get pregnant when you already have a toddler so 648 00:25:20.259 --> 00:25:27.019 that was IVF. 649 00:25:23.980 --> 00:25:26.019 So the first one wasn't IVF but the twins were 650 00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:27.279 IVF yeah. 651 00:25:27.049 --> 00:25:29.789 When you got there did you what were the main 652 00:25:30.029 --> 00:25:32.410 lifestyle changes because we talk about this more relaxed way 653 00:25:32.450 --> 00:25:35.349 of life but that's kind of quite a nebulous idea 654 00:25:35.369 --> 00:25:38.029 because all I know currently is that you go to 655 00:25:38.069 --> 00:25:40.309 work at 8am which to me sounds much much. 656 00:25:40.089 --> 00:25:43.420 Worse yes this is true but you finish at four 657 00:25:43.720 --> 00:25:47.279 and actually um the average day electrician yeah The average 658 00:25:47.299 --> 00:25:50.359 Dane does 33 hours a week, which is, you know, 659 00:25:50.599 --> 00:25:53.160 so much less than I was used to doing in London. 660 00:25:53.579 --> 00:25:56.559 And they're quite, there's this more of a mentality of 661 00:25:57.480 --> 00:26:00.250 you're trusted to do your job and then leave. There's 662 00:26:00.289 --> 00:26:03.569 no presenteeism. And, you know, back in many jobs in London, 663 00:26:04.069 --> 00:26:05.650 you know, you're pat on the back if you're still 664 00:26:05.670 --> 00:26:07.579 at your desk at 7pm. And that's not the case here. 665 00:26:07.619 --> 00:26:09.480 Somebody did it in Lego and they got a lecture 666 00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:11.700 on time management and a leaflet about efficiencies. 667 00:26:12.359 --> 00:26:13.079 Oh, wow. 668 00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:16.099 They love a leaflet. Absolutely love a leaflet. Last stage 669 00:26:16.140 --> 00:26:16.940 of the working day. 670 00:26:17.569 --> 00:26:17.880 Leave. 671 00:26:18.420 --> 00:26:18.660 Yeah. 672 00:26:18.950 --> 00:26:20.710 So there's much more of an emphasis on, you know, 673 00:26:20.750 --> 00:26:22.609 you have to leave at four o'clock because everybody works. 674 00:26:22.710 --> 00:26:24.589 Eighty percent of mothers work. You have to pick your 675 00:26:24.630 --> 00:26:27.589 kids up from daycare. And, you know, the men and 676 00:26:27.650 --> 00:26:30.529 the women tend to be involved in the pickup, in 677 00:26:30.589 --> 00:26:33.430 making a home cooked meal. Food is very expensive. Eating 678 00:26:33.470 --> 00:26:36.230

out is really expensive. So even before Corona, most people 679 00:26:36.269 --> 00:26:38.150 are getting home to cook a family meal each night. 680 00:26:38.589 --> 00:26:41.710 So there's just more of an emphasis on doing your work, 681 00:26:41.849 --> 00:26:44.349 getting home, having a life, doing lots of hobbies as well. 682 00:26:44.390 --> 00:26:45.490 That's big in Denmark. 683 00:26:45.779 --> 00:26:46.210 Oh, wow. 684 00:26:46.299 --> 00:26:48.599 And how was it different? Obviously, when you didn't have 685 00:26:48.660 --> 00:26:50.119 kids and you were there, you were sort of alone. 686 00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:52.779 And I find having kids makes you sort of get 687 00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:55.559 into the local community more, where, you know, when you're 688 00:26:55.640 --> 00:26:57.680 busy doing your own thing, you don't really notice. But 689 00:26:57.700 --> 00:26:59.480 when you've got to find a place for them to 690 00:26:59.500 --> 00:27:01.480 learn to swim or to find a nursery and stuff, 691 00:27:01.500 --> 00:27:04.289 how was it having a baby in that environment? Was 692 00:27:04.309 --> 00:27:06.410 it different to how you saw your friends and families 693 00:27:06.430 --> 00:27:07.309 with kids in the UK? 694 00:27:07.390 --> 00:27:07.490 Yeah. 695 00:27:07.769 --> 00:27:10.190 Yeah, yeah, for sure it is. And there's not really 696 00:27:10.359 --> 00:27:14.019 NCT type stuff. So I didn't have that ready-made friendship 697 00:27:14.059 --> 00:27:17.599 group for new parents. So I did have to go 698 00:27:17.660 --> 00:27:18.160 out there. 699 00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:20.140 I'm going to shock you here, Helen. It's not a 700 00:27:20.180 --> 00:27:22.900 friendship group. It's people that you are forced to be 701 00:27:22.920 --> 00:27:25.480 in a WhatsApp group with until you all decide you 702 00:27:25.500 --> 00:27:29.319 don't like each other and never message again. So don't 703 00:27:29.380 --> 00:27:31.880 be sold this friendship group, darling. 704 00:27:31.900 --> 00:27:34.180 There's a reason Danes are more happy and they haven't 705 00:27:34.220 --> 00:27:35.349 got NCT. That's the reason. 706 00:27:35.829 --> 00:27:36.289 Yeah, so. 707 00:27:36.700 --> 00:27:37.789 So there's a lot of that and there's a lot 708 00:27:37.809 --> 00:27:40.869 of sitting around in cafes and, yeah, it's quite civilised. 709 00:27:41.049 --> 00:27:43.049 What I did find, though, is having twins, and maybe 710 00:27:43.069 --> 00:27:44.809 you've had guests on before who had a similar experience, 711 00:27:44.829 --> 00:27:48.150 that you can't actually get to many of the child-related 712 00:27:48.190 --> 00:27:51.170 activities because you can't get a double stroller anywhere. So 713 00:27:51.490 --> 00:27:53.380 I made some friends while I had one child, but 714 00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:55.119 when you have twins, it was impossible. 715 00:27:55.339 --> 00:27:57.539 Oh, just because the space. I know, I think you 716 00:27:57.579 --> 00:27:59.420 can physically buy one, can't you? Or is it just 717 00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:00.019 not the space? 718 00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:02.839 Well, so I measured up. So the Danish pastries, that's 719 00:28:02.859 --> 00:28:05.920 another reason they're happier. The Danish pastries are amazing. And 720 00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:07.440 I measured up the doorway. 721 00:28:08.019 --> 00:28:09.460 I don't know if I believe you now. 722 00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:10.380 What? 723 00:28:12.220 --> 00:28:14.799 The Danish pastry sounds like you've never moved to Denmark 724 00:28:14.819 --> 00:28:15.680 and you're now winging it. 725 00:28:16.059 --> 00:28:19.049 They must have actual names, the Danish pastries in Denmark, 726 00:28:19.089 --> 00:28:19.420 don't they? 727 00:28:19.460 --> 00:28:20.990 They're called Wienerbrot. 728 00:28:21.150 --> 00:28:21.630 There we go. 729 00:28:21.670 --> 00:28:22.369 Now we're talking. 730 00:28:22.410 --> 00:28:23.069 Give me more of these. 731 00:28:23.390 --> 00:28:24.109 Wienerbrot. 732 00:28:24.130 --> 00:28:29.210 Wienerbrot, Viennese bread. And there's the frog snapper. There's one 733 00:28:29.230 --> 00:28:31.690 called Baker's Bad Eye because it's got this creamy custard 734 00:28:31.750 --> 00:28:32.490 goo in the middle. 735 00:28:32.990 --> 00:28:34.240 Baker's Bad Eye? 736 00:28:34.250 --> 00:28:34.430 Yeah. 737 00:28:36.269 --> 00:28:39.849 It sounds like something horrific in Portland. Sorry to bring 738 00:28:39.890 --> 00:28:43.809 the tone down, everyone. So the double stroller, you measured it. 739 00:28:43.809 --> 00:28:44.509 There was no space. 740 00:28:44.769 --> 00:28:47.450 I measured the doorway to my favourite bakery before I 741 00:28:47.490 --> 00:28:49.529 bought the stroller to check it could still fit in. 742 00:28:49.549 --> 00:28:53.470 That is commitment to pastry. 743 00:28:53.779 --> 00:28:54.480 Yeah, I was a winner. 744 00:28:55.359 --> 00:28:57.059 But I found that lots of the baby activities, I 745 00:28:57.099 --> 00:28:59.619 just couldn't manoeuvre it in or I couldn't carry the 746 00:28:59.660 --> 00:29:03.140 babies upstairs both at the same time. So it's a shocker. 747 00:29:03.180 --> 00:29:04.599 So they would have been You would have had a 748 00:29:04.599 --> 00:29:06.720 three-year-old and then the twins. Would that be right? 749 00:29:06.740 --> 00:29:06.920 Yeah. 750 00:29:07.259 --> 00:29:10.549 A very angry, red-headed three-year-old annoyed at having to share 751 00:29:10.569 --> 00:29:11.549 with two babies. 752 00:29:16.269 --> 00:29:18.470 My son's like a little gamer, so yeah. 753 00:29:18.750 --> 00:29:19.109 Oh, is he? 754 00:29:19.130 --> 00:29:20.430 He's into gaming already? 755 00:29:20.710 --> 00:29:23.609 Yeah, yeah. He's into gaming hard, real hard. 756 00:29:23.789 --> 00:29:24.589 So what's he playing? 757 00:29:25.369 --> 00:29:28.009 At the moment, I bought him a Switch, a Nintendo Switch. 758 00:29:28.049 --> 00:29:31.420 So he plays

like your Mario World, your Mario Karts. 759 00:29:31.779 --> 00:29:33.380 So is he good? Can you be good at it 760 00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:33.920 at that age? 761 00:29:34.589 --> 00:29:34.829 No. 762 00:29:34.849 --> 00:29:37.049 I mean, I beat him a lot and he cries. 763 00:29:37.069 --> 00:29:41.980 LAUGHTER i do it on purpose because like when he 764 00:29:42.019 --> 00:29:44.039 gets on my nerves i'm just like oh yeah should 765 00:29:44.059 --> 00:29:46.640 we play mario kart and he's like yeah and then 766 00:29:46.680 --> 00:29:49.700 i thrash him like and the funniest thing is he 767 00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:54.569 watches me like totally thrash him every single level and 768 00:29:54.630 --> 00:29:57.769 he'll wait until the uh the trophies presented to me 769 00:29:58.190 --> 00:29:59.490 and then he'll just start crying. 770 00:30:00.230 --> 00:30:04.009 Really because i did that try to play the um 771 00:30:04.049 --> 00:30:07.309 they've got the olympics game you know the mario sonic 772 00:30:07.329 --> 00:30:09.549 olympics with a run-in and then like i let my 773 00:30:09.589 --> 00:30:11.029 daughter win a couple and then i beat her and 774 00:30:11.049 --> 00:30:14.130 then she just went mental the age they cannot deal 775 00:30:14.150 --> 00:30:17.009 with losing and it's like it's just a scream and 776 00:30:17.069 --> 00:30:18.730 cry and they have to win every time you just 777 00:30:18.750 --> 00:30:19.869 think oh my god is my kid gonna be an 778 00:30:19.930 --> 00:30:22.430 awful person or is this just part of growing up. 779 00:30:23.369 --> 00:30:25.230 That is my son honest to god i'll do the 780 00:30:25.259 --> 00:30:27.660 same thing with him but yeah he just wants to 781 00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:30.740 be better at me than anything like he's always like 782 00:30:30.779 --> 00:30:32.859 trying to say like i'm stronger than you daddy like 783 00:30:32.900 --> 00:30:35.079 and trying to fight me and it's just like dude 784 00:30:35.119 --> 00:30:39.160 like i will body slam you like you know exactly. 785 00:30:38.700 --> 00:30:40.910 How They'll say like, you know, I don't know how 786 00:30:40.950 --> 00:30:42.470 big he is, but you're a pretty big guy. You're 787 00:30:42.490 --> 00:30:44.230 not a small guy. I think you could take a five-year-old, 788 00:30:44.250 --> 00:30:44.630 couldn't you? 789 00:30:44.990 --> 00:30:45.410 Yeah, I could. 790 00:30:45.569 --> 00:30:48.740 Oh, listen, my son, especially when he gets on my nerves, 791 00:30:48.819 --> 00:30:50.619 like I told you, man, I'll body slam him. 792 00:30:50.779 --> 00:30:51.960 Sort of play fighting and stuff. 793 00:30:51.980 --> 00:30:52.299 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 794 00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:53.220 He's quite rough and tumble, is he? 795 00:30:53.480 --> 00:30:56.089 Yeah, yeah, he loves it, man. He like always just 796 00:30:56.160 --> 00:30:58.769 trying to like punch me up and stamp on me. 797 00:30:58.789 --> 00:30:59.049 Really? 798 00:30:59.329 --> 00:31:02.990 See, my five-year-old is like that, but with knowledge. She's like, 799 00:31:03.150 --> 00:31:05.559 I know this because of school. I know more than you. 800 00:31:05.710 --> 00:31:07.640 She's obsessed with knowing more than me because she's learned 801 00:31:07.660 --> 00:31:09.099 a bit at school now. I said there was a 802 00:31:09.299 --> 00:31:12.160 refraction of the light. And she went, it's actually reflection. 803 00:31:12.279 --> 00:31:14.940 And then she kept banging on at me about what 804 00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:17.130 a reflection is. And I just felt like saying, you're 805 00:31:17.170 --> 00:31:17.910 fucking wrong. 806 00:31:18.289 --> 00:31:19.230 It's so wrong. 807 00:31:20.410 --> 00:31:23.349 It sounds similar, but you're fucking wrong. I know because 808 00:31:23.369 --> 00:31:25.450 I go to school and I know. 809 00:31:25.549 --> 00:31:26.140 Shut up. 810 00:31:26.309 --> 00:31:28.579 But they love it, don't they? Even at fire. Is 811 00:31:28.599 --> 00:31:29.880 he in his first year of school then? 812 00:31:30.339 --> 00:31:33.819 Yeah, he's going to go into year one this September. 813 00:31:33.859 --> 00:31:38.640 So he's just finished reception. And yeah, he's happy because 814 00:31:38.740 --> 00:31:41.180 in his mind, I'm going to be a big boy now, dad. 815 00:31:41.240 --> 00:31:41.759 And it's just like. 816 00:31:42.730 --> 00:31:47.180 Yeah, kind of. But you still struggle with wiping your bum. 817 00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:48.240 So I don't know about. 818 00:31:48.380 --> 00:31:50.660 This big boy. You know what I mean? This big 819 00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:52.380 boy stuff. You know what I mean? So, yeah. 820 00:31:53.140 --> 00:31:55.740 And you were in North London and you've moved to Hertfordshire. 821 00:31:55.779 --> 00:31:56.420 Is that right? 822 00:31:56.559 --> 00:31:57.140 Yeah. 823 00:31:57.220 --> 00:31:59.609 Was that because of the kids and stuff or was it? 824 00:31:59.730 --> 00:32:02.849 Yeah, it was. It was. We were living. It's so weird. 825 00:32:02.869 --> 00:32:07.089 So, yeah, when I moved from my mum's house in Highgate, 826 00:32:07.329 --> 00:32:10.150 once I got married, We moved to Enfield and then 827 00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:12.240 we spent like maybe like a year and a half 828 00:32:12.279 --> 00:32:14.619 there and then, you know, was fortunate enough to save 829 00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:15.269 up enough money. 830 00:32:15.730 --> 00:32:16.730 Came to Hertfordshire. 831 00:32:16.930 --> 00:32:19.650 So you're in the countryside? I am. 832 00:32:19.930 --> 00:32:20.470 I am, man. 833 00:32:20.509 --> 00:32:23.509 I'm there like, you know, there's a whole bunch of 834 00:32:23.609 --> 00:32:25.359 trees outside my yard. 835 00:32:26.190 --> 00:32:30.220 I didn't know you had the lingo. He's a city boy, 836 00:32:30.259 --> 00:32:31.500 but he knows all the terms. 837 00:32:31.539 --> 00:32:33.759 But I've turned into a country bumpkin. 838 00:32:33.339 --> 00:32:35.940 All

of a sudden. 839 00:32:35.980 --> 00:32:36.759 Trees and that. 840 00:32:36.980 --> 00:32:39.059 Yeah, trees and that and a couple of horses and 841 00:32:39.099 --> 00:32:45.940 that and sheep and that. So, yeah, man, it's different, man. 842 00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:46.880 It's different up here. 843 00:32:47.119 --> 00:32:49.119 How did you find it when he was little, when 844 00:32:49.140 --> 00:32:51.309 he was a newborn and stuff like that? Did he 845 00:32:51.329 --> 00:32:52.789 sleep well or was he a bit of a nightmare? 846 00:32:53.349 --> 00:32:56.470 No, he slept well. He slept well. Oh, mate. He 847 00:32:56.490 --> 00:32:58.009 was good. He was good. 848 00:32:58.049 --> 00:33:01.089 Josh is dealing with a very badly sleeping child at 849 00:33:01.130 --> 00:33:01.470 the moment. 850 00:33:01.549 --> 00:33:03.170 That's a heartbreaking answer. 851 00:33:03.390 --> 00:33:05.410 Sorry, bro. 852 00:33:05.589 --> 00:33:07.819 The answer is you just get a good sleeper or 853 00:33:07.859 --> 00:33:09.799 you don't and then that's just your end. You're just 854 00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:10.799 lucky you're not. Yeah. 855 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:12.940 That's the hand i've been dealt for the next 18 years. 856 00:33:14.259 --> 00:33:16.759 One of my mates kane brown um he's a comic 857 00:33:16.779 --> 00:33:19.440 as well he just told me kiss good kiss sleep 858 00:33:19.480 --> 00:33:21.259 goodbye that's all he said to me it was just 859 00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:23.740 like forget about sleep like you will never get a 860 00:33:23.779 --> 00:33:27.400 good night's sleep forever and i was just like damn well. 861 00:33:27.299 --> 00:33:29.220 It's true it is true because then when they get 862 00:33:29.339 --> 00:33:31.599 older you don't sleep because you're worrying about them because 863 00:33:31.619 --> 00:33:33.089 they're not in the house oh. 864 00:33:33.069 --> 00:33:34.329 I take that rob. 865 00:33:36.430 --> 00:33:37.809 I'd happily i'd happily. 866 00:33:37.529 --> 00:33:38.890 Lie there worrying. 867 00:33:40.369 --> 00:33:40.910 I don't know. 868 00:33:40.970 --> 00:33:41.390 You know what? 869 00:33:41.410 --> 00:33:42.829 At least I can look at my phone while I 870 00:33:42.849 --> 00:33:44.650 do it, mate. At least you can watch a film 871 00:33:44.670 --> 00:33:46.799 while you're worrying. Yeah, at least I'm not getting back 872 00:33:46.859 --> 00:33:49.359 problems from walking him around the bloody room all the time. 873 00:33:49.900 --> 00:33:52.160 Well, my wife kind of dealt with that side of things, 874 00:33:52.319 --> 00:33:57.539 to be honest. I did sleep through the crying sometimes 875 00:33:57.579 --> 00:33:59.680 when he would wake up because he wasn't that bad. 876 00:34:00.230 --> 00:34:00.930 He wasn't that bad. 877 00:34:01.009 --> 00:34:03.930 Obviously, the odd time here and there was just like, yeah, 878 00:34:03.950 --> 00:34:06.829 this child ain't going to sleep. But my son has 879 00:34:06.849 --> 00:34:11.760 this annoying habit, yeah? he likes to touch my armpit. 880 00:34:12.039 --> 00:34:14.159 I don't know why. And I don't know where this 881 00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:15.429 comes from. And this is true. 882 00:34:16.150 --> 00:34:19.949 So what he will do sometimes is more, if he's 883 00:34:19.989 --> 00:34:21.969 not just jumping in the bed and just getting in 884 00:34:21.989 --> 00:34:24.849 between me and my wife, sometimes I'll wake up to 885 00:34:24.909 --> 00:34:27.079 him scratching my armpits. 886 00:34:27.860 --> 00:34:30.440 It's the most random thing. 887 00:34:30.460 --> 00:34:31.639 Oh my God. 888 00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:34.659 That's so weird. No, honest to God, this is so weird. 889 00:34:34.739 --> 00:34:36.469 And I'm like, me and my wife, we Googled it. 890 00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:38.610 We were just like, what is this obsession with him 891 00:34:39.190 --> 00:34:40.269 Holding people's armpits. 892 00:34:40.530 --> 00:34:43.230 Can I ask what you Googled? What exact terminology are 893 00:34:43.269 --> 00:34:44.030 you Googling? 894 00:34:44.329 --> 00:34:46.860 I put child's obsession with armpits. 895 00:34:47.820 --> 00:34:54.219 LAUGHTER oh my god what a search i bet you 896 00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:56.820 were so worried waiting for it to load. 897 00:34:56.400 --> 00:35:00.619 Up and apparently it's it's a rare thing it's not 898 00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:01.780 uncommon but it's. 899 00:35:01.719 --> 00:35:04.199 No shit and i'm just like why would it. 900 00:35:04.139 --> 00:35:06.719 Be my son that has to be the rare one 901 00:35:07.139 --> 00:35:10.710 but yeah apparently yeah a few children do this. 902 00:35:10.789 --> 00:35:12.909 And would that would he hold a stranger's armpit. 903 00:35:12.849 --> 00:35:15.449 It depends how comfortable he gets like he did it 904 00:35:15.469 --> 00:35:18.510 to my mate nelson And he just did it so, 905 00:35:18.789 --> 00:35:21.090 he did it so smoothly to the point where my 906 00:35:21.130 --> 00:35:23.170 mate turned around and was just like, oh snap, like, 907 00:35:24.070 --> 00:35:27.869 like he said, it did not happen. 908 00:35:28.780 --> 00:35:31.099 And I couldn't, listen, I was on the floor. 909 00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:36.639 Sam Quek, welcome to the podcast. You are our first 910 00:35:36.980 --> 00:35:37.940 Olympic gold medalist. 911 00:35:37.980 --> 00:35:38.500 Oh, I'm honoured. 912 00:35:38.559 --> 00:35:38.940 Thank you. 913 00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:43.530 That is exciting though. That is such a big achievement that, 914 00:35:44.110 --> 00:35:46.309 Do you get bored of it being brought up or 915 00:35:46.349 --> 00:35:47.869 does it still feel good when you hear it? No, 916 00:35:47.929 --> 00:35:48.449 it still feels good. 917 00:35:48.829 --> 00:35:50.650 Even when I get on my medal, sometimes it still 918 00:35:50.670 --> 00:35:53.449 feels good. Any opportunity, I'm like, oh, here's my medal. 919 00:35:53.969 --> 00:35:55.969 Have you put your medal

on your baby? 920 00:35:56.809 --> 00:35:58.550 I actually haven't put it on her. I put it 921 00:35:58.610 --> 00:35:59.179 next to her. 922 00:35:59.550 --> 00:36:00.900 I took a photo with it because she had like 923 00:36:00.940 --> 00:36:03.519 her own little personal portrait photo shoot a few weeks ago. 924 00:36:04.119 --> 00:36:06.159 So she actually. 925 00:36:06.280 --> 00:36:09.099 The gold medals are getting bigger and bigger, but bless Molly, 926 00:36:09.179 --> 00:36:11.960 she makes it look even bigger because she's so small. 927 00:36:13.269 --> 00:36:15.710 So what's the setup at home? You've got one child? 928 00:36:15.789 --> 00:36:19.530 Yes, one child who is eight weeks this week. 929 00:36:20.130 --> 00:36:20.889 So proper fresh. 930 00:36:21.260 --> 00:36:24.239 How are you feeling? Because I think at eight weeks old, 931 00:36:24.639 --> 00:36:26.920 I wouldn't have been able to speak to someone about 932 00:36:26.980 --> 00:36:29.820 having it so in the trenches. But how's it going? 933 00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:30.900 It's going really well. 934 00:36:31.019 --> 00:36:35.079 I'm blessed to have Tom, who's brilliant. I mean, I'm 935 00:36:35.139 --> 00:36:37.599 not great at the best of times without sleep, but 936 00:36:37.699 --> 00:36:39.519 he is really stepping up to do some of the 937 00:36:39.559 --> 00:36:43.409 night feeds. So I'm actually feeling okay. The first two 938 00:36:43.429 --> 00:36:45.489 weeks are really tough. I think you've just got to, well, like, 939 00:36:45.510 --> 00:36:48.110 you know, figure out the baby and what their cues are, 940 00:36:48.159 --> 00:36:49.719 what they like, what they don't like, what works, what 941 00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:51.880 doesn't work. So I can sit here at eight weeks 942 00:36:51.940 --> 00:36:54.880 and say, listen, it's not easy. No, I don't think 943 00:36:54.920 --> 00:36:57.159 it's easy for anyone, but I can't complain because she 944 00:36:57.199 --> 00:36:59.199 is a star and I've got a good support system. 945 00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:02.090 What I like is you do slightly talk– you still 946 00:37:02.190 --> 00:37:06.530 talk slightly like you're discussing– a run of sporting fixtures. 947 00:37:06.590 --> 00:37:08.130 Oh, this is bad to say that, Josh. That was 948 00:37:08.190 --> 00:37:12.340 a classic response from an athlete. It was emotionless, broken 949 00:37:12.389 --> 00:37:14.420 down into what is our goal? How are we going 950 00:37:14.440 --> 00:37:17.300 to attack it? And we're being successful. Let's just crack on. 951 00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:19.840 You know, it's a new week next week. The boys 952 00:37:19.860 --> 00:37:21.219 are happy in the changing room. We'll print out the 953 00:37:21.260 --> 00:37:26.699 next spreadsheet. Are you very organised then? You sound a 954 00:37:26.719 --> 00:37:27.929 very organised and controlled mum. 955 00:37:27.940 --> 00:37:30.000 Would you want to say, you know, we've had poo 956 00:37:30.019 --> 00:37:32.440 splats all over the white wardrobes a number of times. 957 00:37:33.030 --> 00:37:36.269 You know, puke filled clothes and whatnot. Just the standard. 958 00:37:36.309 --> 00:37:37.829 I think most parents will probably know what I'm. 959 00:37:37.769 --> 00:37:38.269 Going on about. 960 00:37:38.349 --> 00:37:41.170 But I didn't expect it to be what it is. 961 00:37:41.190 --> 00:37:42.289 I don't know why. 962 00:37:42.309 --> 00:37:44.070 I just, every so often I look at her and 963 00:37:44.090 --> 00:37:45.590 I'm like, oh my God, that's mine. 964 00:37:48.039 --> 00:37:50.960 Is it a responsibility or an excitement sort of way 965 00:37:51.019 --> 00:37:51.280 or both? 966 00:37:51.300 --> 00:37:51.639 Both. 967 00:37:51.980 --> 00:37:52.219 Both. 968 00:37:52.260 --> 00:37:54.400 Because I've always, especially as an athlete, you grow up 969 00:37:55.579 --> 00:37:58.119 and you have to be really selfish sometimes. Even to 970 00:37:58.139 --> 00:38:00.239 the point in a relationship, I was very much, it 971 00:38:00.260 --> 00:38:02.329 was always about me, what I couldn't go to, what 972 00:38:02.349 --> 00:38:04.869 dates were I available to, can I drink, can I 973 00:38:04.909 --> 00:38:08.030 not drink? And then like that was marriage and then 974 00:38:08.050 --> 00:38:09.730 just me and Tom. But now I've got a kid. 975 00:38:10.230 --> 00:38:12.710 It's like another level of, oh my God, you have 976 00:38:12.730 --> 00:38:15.429 to look after this thing who can't do anything for itself. 977 00:38:16.469 --> 00:38:18.780 And even just like, I mean, I'm expressing and I 978 00:38:18.820 --> 00:38:20.639 feel like a, you know, a cow that needs to 979 00:38:20.679 --> 00:38:22.880 be milked, but because she's getting bigger, she's wanting more milk. 980 00:38:23.559 --> 00:38:26.239 And I'm like, oh, my God, just even stuff like that, 981 00:38:26.519 --> 00:38:28.340 trying to provide milk for a child. 982 00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:31.679 Peep up demand. It's like a small brand that's popped 983 00:38:31.739 --> 00:38:34.769 off in lockdown on Insta. You haven't got the supply 984 00:38:34.829 --> 00:38:35.449 chain yet. 985 00:38:36.590 --> 00:38:37.949 Well, I said to my husband, I said, I'm just 986 00:38:37.989 --> 00:38:39.329 pumping milk. What are we going to do with all 987 00:38:39.349 --> 00:38:41.070 this milk? And he said, I can definitely get some 988 00:38:41.289 --> 00:38:44.800 away on eBay, definitely. An Olympic gold medalist. 989 00:38:48.719 --> 00:38:51.019 Gold medal milk, the fuel of champions. 990 00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:54.559 Very strange piece of sporting memorabilia. 991 00:38:54.840 --> 00:38:56.360 I think it would sell. 992 00:38:57.300 --> 00:38:59.199 You say that, but I've been asked for some really 993 00:38:59.260 --> 00:39:03.389 weird stuff before. Some people wanted my old shoes and socks. 994 00:39:03.550 --> 00:39:04.929 I don't know what they wanted them for. 995 00:39:04.949 -->

00:39:09.469 I think I do. What do you think? 996 00:39:10.289 --> 00:39:10.710 You know. 997 00:39:10.889 --> 00:39:12.869 Let's not be naive about this. This is some sick 998 00:39:12.909 --> 00:39:13.969 fucks knocking about, Sam. 999 00:39:14.329 --> 00:39:16.909 Another request as well. Someone wanted a recording of me, 1000 00:39:16.969 --> 00:39:18.550 of me farting through a walkie-talkie. 1001 00:39:19.019 --> 00:39:19.820 Oh, wow. 1002 00:39:19.900 --> 00:39:20.940 That's the best one I've had. 1003 00:39:21.079 --> 00:39:24.019 The walkie-talkie is perhaps the weirdest bit of that. 1004 00:39:24.099 --> 00:39:24.949 Well, it's not, actually. 1005 00:39:24.989 --> 00:39:27.969 It's not the weirdest bit of that. So you're eight 1006 00:39:28.010 --> 00:39:28.530 weeks in. 1007 00:39:28.889 --> 00:39:29.409 Do you feel. 1008 00:39:29.489 --> 00:39:34.039 do you feel like sleep deprived at all? Or are you, 1009 00:39:34.059 --> 00:39:37.179 you seem like you're pretty with it. 1010 00:39:37.480 --> 00:39:38.639 It's because I've had a coffee. 1011 00:39:39.519 --> 00:39:41.079 I mean, I used to be a coffee fiend and 1012 00:39:41.099 --> 00:39:43.400 then obviously cut it down or didn't really have any 1013 00:39:43.420 --> 00:39:45.780 during pregnancy. So now like when I have a whiff 1014 00:39:45.940 --> 00:39:47.659 of coffee, I am bouncing off the walls. 1015 00:39:48.219 --> 00:39:50.639 I bet, yeah. It's like when you don't drink for 1016 00:39:50.679 --> 00:39:52.599 a while and then you're hammered after one pint. 1017 00:39:53.019 --> 00:39:54.699 Yeah, I've still got that to come, actually. 1018 00:39:54.739 --> 00:39:57.630 I've still got my first drink slash binge drink to 1019 00:39:57.690 --> 00:39:58.969 come post-pregnancy. 1020 00:39:59.010 --> 00:40:02.670 Yeah, have you got anything booked in? Because as a comedian, 1021 00:40:02.849 --> 00:40:08.030 the first night out of a recent mum is normally 1022 00:40:08.130 --> 00:40:11.489 pretty hardcore. That is when people really let loose because 1023 00:40:11.510 --> 00:40:13.780 it's been over a year normally with the pregnancy and 1024 00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:15.760 then the baby being small. Have you got that night 1025 00:40:15.820 --> 00:40:16.260 out booked? 1026 00:40:17.239 --> 00:40:19.619 I've got my good friend's hen do down in London 1027 00:40:19.659 --> 00:40:21.519 actually on the 22nd of May. So that's the next, 1028 00:40:21.559 --> 00:40:22.539 that'll be a big event. 1029 00:40:23.079 --> 00:40:24.739 Is it the first time you have left your daughter? 1030 00:40:26.239 --> 00:40:26.889 Overnight, yeah. 1031 00:40:27.329 --> 00:40:27.570 Yeah. 1032 00:40:27.969 --> 00:40:28.469 How'd you feel? 1033 00:40:28.489 --> 00:40:32.389 A little bit nervous, but then I say that, but 1034 00:40:32.409 --> 00:40:34.030 knowing me, like as soon as I get a drink 1035 00:40:34.070 --> 00:40:36.610 in my hand and sunshine and I'll be like, woo! 1036 00:40:37.010 --> 00:40:37.719 Yeah. 1037 00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:37.840 Woo! 1038 00:40:41.409 --> 00:40:48.500 Charlie Baker. So comedian, singer, you do jazz, actor, radio host. 1039 00:40:48.519 --> 00:40:49.659 You've got it all. Yeah. 1040 00:40:49.960 --> 00:40:52.260 Very average and lukewarm at all of those. 1041 00:40:55.539 --> 00:40:56.360 People like that. 1042 00:40:56.559 --> 00:40:59.289 They like that. And it's just stay warm. Someone early 1043 00:40:59.309 --> 00:41:01.590 on in my career said, never be hot. Just stay warm. 1044 00:41:02.010 --> 00:41:04.860 Just stay warm. 1045 00:41:05.199 --> 00:41:08.639 Yeah, because being hot implies you will cool down. 1046 00:41:08.659 --> 00:41:10.110 You will cool down. 1047 00:41:10.550 --> 00:41:14.429 That's a great philosophy. It's a really good advice. I'd 1048 00:41:14.489 --> 00:41:17.929 say you've got funny bones, though, Charlie. You're a funny person. 1049 00:41:18.150 --> 00:41:18.349 Thanks. 1050 00:41:18.389 --> 00:41:21.230 Which sometimes you don't have. Some people manage to get 1051 00:41:21.269 --> 00:41:23.869 away without having that. But you're a very funny man. 1052 00:41:23.929 --> 00:41:25.989 And you've got two children, is that correct? I've got 1053 00:41:26.070 --> 00:41:28.690 two children, yes, with a nine-year gap in the middle. 1054 00:41:29.210 --> 00:41:29.750 Oh. 1055 00:41:29.949 --> 00:41:30.889 And how old are they now? 1056 00:41:31.489 --> 00:41:36.409 My son is 14, which is like living. He can 1057 00:41:36.449 --> 00:41:38.489 probably hear me, so I have to be– because I'm 1058 00:41:38.530 --> 00:41:40.440 not really allowed to talk to him or about him. 1059 00:41:41.900 --> 00:41:43.849 So that this is going out as well, Charlie. So 1060 00:41:43.869 --> 00:41:45.349 even if you do keep your voice down, there is 1061 00:41:45.369 --> 00:41:46.809 an opportunity for him to hear it. 1062 00:41:46.809 --> 00:41:51.809 Yeah, for the rest of all time. The internet's forever, 1063 00:41:51.849 --> 00:41:53.719 isn't it? Yeah, I know. It's like living at the 1064 00:41:53.739 --> 00:41:59.800 moment with the staff of a French restaurant in Paris, right? 1065 00:41:59.900 --> 00:42:11.050 LAUGHTER Have you ever been to Paris? Everyone's so amazingly 1066 00:42:11.139 --> 00:42:14.619 rude that you have to admire it. You have to 1067 00:42:14.820 --> 00:42:18.099 absolutely go, that is some unbelievable rudeness there. But you 1068 00:42:18.139 --> 00:42:20.239 also get like the maitre d' at the front who 1069 00:42:20.300 --> 00:42:24.519 is amazingly charming. So some days he'll come down and 1070 00:42:24.539 --> 00:42:26.579 it'll be like the maitre d' will be here. The 1071 00:42:26.619 --> 00:42:29.480 most charming person you've met in your life is an 1072 00:42:29.559 --> 00:42:32.840 absolute joy to have him in the house. Absolutely beautiful. 1073 00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:34.780 And then he'll ask for like 20 quid or something 1074 00:42:34.800 -->

00:42:37.090 and it'll be fine. But you know, you're like, And 1075 00:42:37.130 --> 00:42:40.389 then sometimes it's like having that rude waiter who doesn't 1076 00:42:40.429 --> 00:42:42.869 speak to you, just looks at you like you're an 1077 00:42:43.030 --> 00:42:45.150 absolute idiot, just does not want to speak to you 1078 00:42:45.289 --> 00:42:47.909 ever again. Don't embarrass me in front of my friends. 1079 00:42:48.190 --> 00:42:48.750 You know, all those things. 1080 00:42:48.769 --> 00:42:51.840 It's peak hating dad mode. 1081 00:42:52.030 --> 00:42:59.639 And then you get the like executive chef, full Gordon Ramsay. 1082 00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:05.059 You are a bastard. I hate you. Just absolutely. And 1083 00:43:05.099 --> 00:43:07.860 then at the end of it, just a beautiful, sometimes 1084 00:43:07.900 --> 00:43:10.670 a great big cuddle or, you know, I'm sorry, dad. 1085 00:43:10.730 --> 00:43:12.460 And we have a big cuddle and I love you. And, 1086 00:43:12.489 --> 00:43:14.670 you know, then we sit and watch the football, you know, 1087 00:43:14.690 --> 00:43:16.730 and then it's all lovely again and have cheese on toast. 1088 00:43:17.010 --> 00:43:18.809 all have cheese on toast, you know. But that's what 1089 00:43:18.849 --> 00:43:20.110 it's like living with a teenager. 1090 00:43:20.610 --> 00:43:22.550 Can I just say that the highlight of your relationship 1091 00:43:22.570 --> 00:43:27.110 with your son is you have cheese on toast sometimes. 1092 00:43:27.190 --> 00:43:29.630 But everyone warns you about teenagers, right? Everyone warns you 1093 00:43:29.650 --> 00:43:31.090 and you think, I can cope with that. I know 1094 00:43:31.130 --> 00:43:34.170 moody people. You know, I've been in the arts my 1095 00:43:34.210 --> 00:43:38.739 whole life. I've seen, you know, moody people. It's unbelievable 1096 00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:41.360 because you can't, first few times, you can't believe the 1097 00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:43.400 rudeness and you can't believe the speed of it. It's 1098 00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:45.900 like a sort of shark attack. I've never been attacked 1099 00:43:45.940 --> 00:43:48.739 by a shark. I imagine it's quite fast. 1100 00:43:51.260 --> 00:43:52.860 I can't help but feel that you'd be having cheese 1101 00:43:52.900 --> 00:43:54.929 on toast for the shark after this, Charlie. 1102 00:43:55.010 --> 00:43:55.469 Exactly. 1103 00:43:55.820 --> 00:43:56.889 Do you take it to heart? 1104 00:43:57.389 --> 00:44:00.190 I take it to heart if it's at my wife 1105 00:44:00.829 --> 00:44:04.489 or our five-year-old daughter. If it's at me, if it's 1106 00:44:04.570 --> 00:44:08.010 at me, I can sort of just take it and go, okay, 1107 00:44:08.050 --> 00:44:10.710 that's all right. That's all right. But if it's rude, 1108 00:44:10.809 --> 00:44:12.769 my one rule is don't be rude to mum, you know, 1109 00:44:12.889 --> 00:44:15.400 do not be rude to mum. And it's like, and 1110 00:44:15.420 --> 00:44:19.190 then I will suddenly go, you know, and I'm a pretty, 1111 00:44:19.630 --> 00:44:23.829 I would say I'm a 50-50 parent. 50%. You know, 1112 00:44:23.869 --> 00:44:24.369 do you know that? 1113 00:44:24.489 --> 00:44:26.030 You haven't got full custody. 1114 00:44:26.050 --> 00:44:29.489 Sorry to go to football again. Have you ever seen 1115 00:44:29.530 --> 00:44:32.389 that quote that sometimes may be good, sometimes may be shit? 1116 00:44:32.820 --> 00:44:33.909 You ever seen that? Who's that? 1117 00:44:33.989 --> 00:44:39.260 I don't know. It's an Italian footballer. It's Gattuso. It's Gattuso. 1118 00:44:39.380 --> 00:44:41.760 Yeah, yeah. He's a manager. And they ask him, what 1119 00:44:41.780 --> 00:44:43.539 do you think of his defense? And he goes, I 1120 00:44:43.559 --> 00:44:46.079 don't know. Sometimes may be good, sometimes may be shit. 1121 00:44:46.440 --> 00:44:50.599 And that is basically my parenting style. I will sometimes go, oh, 1122 00:44:51.059 --> 00:44:54.739 that was awful. That was a really bad bit of parenting. 1123 00:44:54.760 --> 00:44:56.699 And then my wife would give me like a little 1124 00:44:56.760 --> 00:44:59.559 tip of how to deal with something. And I'll do 1125 00:44:59.619 --> 00:45:02.159 that tip and I'll go, I am brilliant at this. 1126 00:45:02.969 --> 00:45:04.849 I am absolutely brilliant at this. 1127 00:45:05.070 --> 00:45:08.269 Have you got examples of when it's gone wrong and 1128 00:45:08.289 --> 00:45:09.210 then when you've nailed it? 1129 00:45:09.489 --> 00:45:13.489 Well, it's always, she's really good at just saying, pick 1130 00:45:13.570 --> 00:45:16.719 your battles. That is the key with a teenager. Pick 1131 00:45:16.739 --> 00:45:20.440 your battles and just don't try and be their friend. 1132 00:45:21.719 --> 00:45:23.949 it's just letting a lot of stuff go. You just 1133 00:45:24.010 --> 00:45:26.230 have to let a lot of stuff go, take the 1134 00:45:26.289 --> 00:45:29.289 frozen amendment and just let it go. Cause it's like, 1135 00:45:29.710 --> 00:45:33.429 you're not going to win because the argument is, is 1136 00:45:33.530 --> 00:45:38.329 not lucid. It's not, they don't mean it. It's pure emotion. 1137 00:45:38.610 --> 00:45:39.570 It's just pure emotion. 1138 00:45:39.590 --> 00:45:40.409 Hormones as well. 1139 00:45:40.690 --> 00:45:43.340 Oh yeah, yeah, exactly. And he's grown. He's nearly, he's 1140 00:45:43.380 --> 00:45:44.610 nearly taller than me now. 1141 00:45:45.139 --> 00:45:45.639 Five, five. 1142 00:45:45.659 --> 00:45:46.599 Yeah. 1143 00:45:50.610 --> 00:45:52.550 Kids are bigger though, aren't they? They are bigger now, 1144 00:45:52.610 --> 00:45:52.929 aren't they? 1145 00:45:53.170 --> 00:45:55.949 I think we're getting smaller. 1146 00:45:56.909 --> 00:46:01.409 I am getting smaller, but they are massive now. Because 1147 00:46:01.449 --> 00:46:03.409 we live on a high street, and so the kids 1148 00:46:03.429 --> 00:46:07.099 walk home from

school, and they are all six foot plus. 1149 00:46:07.699 --> 00:46:09.820 It is unbelievable. They are massive now. 1150 00:46:10.159 --> 00:46:12.619 I think, you know, like a hard nut from school, 1151 00:46:12.780 --> 00:46:14.559 I think a hard nut year eight could beat me up. 1152 00:46:14.960 --> 00:46:20.880 Oh, definitely. Definitely. Well, actually, sometimes Stan plays in a 1153 00:46:20.900 --> 00:46:21.460 football team. 1154 00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:22.500 He's a keeper, isn't he? 1155 00:46:22.679 --> 00:46:23.099 Goalkeeper? 1156 00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:25.880 He's a goalkeeper, yeah. But one of the hard lads 1157 00:46:25.920 --> 00:46:29.719 in his year plays in this team, right? And I 1158 00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:32.760 like him, right? I like him. But sometimes... You don't 1159 00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:33.050 have to. 1160 00:46:33.010 --> 00:46:33.510 Be scared of him. 1161 00:46:33.780 --> 00:46:34.360 No, no, no. 1162 00:46:34.389 --> 00:46:35.030 But this. 1163 00:46:36.429 --> 00:46:38.469 Is the thing. I'm just trying to temper what I say. 1164 00:46:38.969 --> 00:46:40.590 I like him, but not when he takes my cheese 1165 00:46:40.650 --> 00:46:41.030 on tail. 1166 00:46:41.289 --> 00:46:44.349 No, but the thing is, right? It is the thing. 1167 00:46:44.369 --> 00:46:46.710 You know he's like the hard lad in the year, right? 1168 00:46:47.380 --> 00:46:49.320 And if he turns up in your house, he's a 1169 00:46:49.320 --> 00:46:49.539 bit like. 1170 00:46:49.780 --> 00:46:50.690 Yeah, hello, yeah, all right. 1171 00:46:50.710 --> 00:46:55.360 LAUGHTER Sort of feel a bit. 1172 00:46:55.260 --> 00:46:56.550 Like, oh, God, oh, no. 1173 00:46:56.949 --> 00:46:59.010 Because he's just genuinely hard, you know. 1174 00:46:59.780 --> 00:47:01.329 It's like when you go to the pub and someone 1175 00:47:01.349 --> 00:47:03.150 introduces you to their really hard mate and you're a 1176 00:47:03.170 --> 00:47:05.969 bit scared, even though they're being nice. You just know. 1177 00:47:06.090 --> 00:47:06.489 Yeah, yeah. 1178 00:47:07.090 --> 00:47:09.309 You're, like, embarrassed that you put Marmite. He goes, have 1179 00:47:09.329 --> 00:47:10.869 you put Marmite on this cheese on toast? 1180 00:47:11.110 --> 00:47:12.610 You take him with you, so. 1181 00:47:12.530 --> 00:47:13.869 I'm sort of mad, Charlie. 1182 00:47:14.050 --> 00:47:15.289 I can legally buy beer. 1183 00:47:15.809 --> 00:47:17.809 If you want some. 1184 00:47:20.539 --> 00:47:22.960 That's it for this special Best Of episode. We'll be 1185 00:47:22.980 --> 00:47:23.650 back next week. 1186 00:47:27.050 --> 00:47:29.070 If you are not in the queue and you are waiting, 1187 00:47:29.110 --> 00:47:31.320 then step to the side. He got in touch. 1188 00:47:31.340 --> 00:47:33.280 He said, yeah, sorry, mate, you didn't seem like yourself 1189 00:47:33.340 --> 00:47:35.380 the other day. You've only met me three times. 1190 00:47:35.420 --> 00:47:38.079 The self-service checkout. I don't care what you're called. 1191 00:47:38.340 --> 00:47:40.519 I'm not getting tricked into working here. 1192 00:47:40.559 --> 00:47:44.159 People at festivals in those stupid jester hats. I glanced 1193 00:47:44.219 --> 00:47:46.280 at a tampon. 1194 00:47:46.280 --> 00:47:46.420 £ 2. 1195 00:47:46.280 --> 00:47:47.289 69 for a bottle of water. 1196 00:47:47.309 --> 00:47:50.769 Why is your Wi-Fi code 10 characters long? 1197 00:47:51.110 --> 00:47:53.250 I don't care if you're watching. 1198 00:47:52.809 --> 00:47:54.849 Boost Cut Jeans. 1199 00:47:55.190 --> 00:47:59.090 What's upset you now? I'm Sean Walsh. And I'm Paul McCaffrey. 1200 00:47:59.139 --> 00:48:02.139 We are the hosts of What's Upset You Now? The 1201 00:48:02.260 --> 00:48:06.909 UK's angriest podcast. And we are back for Series 5. 1202 00:48:06.909 --> 00:48:07.670 Booyah! 1203 00:48:07.909 --> 00:48:09.329 We all love a good moan, don't we? 1204 00:48:09.469 --> 00:48:11.849 And Sean and I, well, Sean mostly, are two of 1205 00:48:11.889 --> 00:48:13.429 the best in the absolute business. 1206 00:48:13.469 --> 00:48:15.030 And every Tuesday and Thursday. 1207 00:48:15.550 --> 00:48:18.909 We moan about all those little things that really get 1208 00:48:19.050 --> 00:48:19.409 our goat. 1209 00:48:19.530 --> 00:48:21.809 We also have guests. What guests have we had, Sean? 1210 00:48:21.849 --> 00:48:25.780 We have had Romesh Ranganathan, Rob Beckett, Mark Lamar, Joe Brand, 1211 00:48:25.880 --> 00:48:30.619 Catherine Ryan, Tom Allen. 15-minute episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. 1212 00:48:30.940 --> 00:48:34.820 Brand new, What's Up, Set You Now, Series 5, out now. 1213 00:48:35.050 --> 00:48:37.869 Oh, for God's sake. Josh, you fancy going for a beer? 1214 00:48:38.030 --> 00:48:39.610 Maybe like the 14th of April? 1215 00:48:39.630 --> 00:48:41.550 I can't do the 14th of April, Rob. 1216 00:48:41.869 --> 00:48:42.590 How come it comes? 1217 00:48:43.019 --> 00:48:47.030 We're doing the Parenting Hell Arena Tour at Manchester Arena. Oh, okay, yeah. 1218 00:48:47.090 --> 00:48:48.550 How about the 19th of April? 1219 00:48:48.849 --> 00:48:50.769 Oh, no, I can't do that. I'll be doing the 1220 00:48:50.889 --> 00:48:53.469 Parenting Hell Live Tour in Nottingham. What about the 20th 1221 00:48:53.510 --> 00:48:53.949 of April? 1222 00:48:54.050 --> 00:48:57.940 Cardiff Arena. Parenting Hell Live, Cardiff Arena. 1223 00:48:58.139 --> 00:48:58.239 21st? 1224 00:48:58.380 --> 00:49:02.840 21st of April? No, I can't do that either. London 02. 1225 00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:03.300 23rd of April? 1226 00:49:04.239 --> 00:49:08.300 I can do the 22nd. We've got a day off. 23rd, yes, yes, Wembley. 1227 00:49:08.440 --> 00:49:09.960 What about the 28th of April? 1228 00:49:10.219 --> 00:49:10.980 I'm in Birmingham. 1229 00:49:11.260 --> 00:49:11.909 Do you know what, Rob? 1230 00:49:11.920 --> 00:49:12.739 Parenting Hell live tour. 1231 00:49:12.760 --> 00:49:14.679 Yeah,

but we'll just have a drink afterwards. 1232 00:49:14.969 --> 00:49:15.809 Yeah, shall we do that? 1233 00:49:16.130 --> 00:49:16.889 Yeah, that'd be nice. 1234 00:49:16.909 --> 00:49:18.550 We need to plug the live tour, by the way. 1235 00:49:18.670 --> 00:49:20.639 Oh, yeah, yeah, there's a live tour. of Parenting Hell 1236 00:49:20.739 --> 00:49:23.519 and I cannot wait. It's genuinely going to be an 1237 00:49:23.679 --> 00:49:26.659 absolute thrill to do. And do you know what it 1238 00:49:26.679 --> 00:49:29.360 would make? A perfect Christmas present. Two of those tickets. 1239 00:49:30.139 --> 00:49:32.849 Oh, great Christmas present. Or Father's Day present or Mother's 1240 00:49:32.869 --> 00:49:33.309 Day present. 1241 00:49:33.429 --> 00:49:33.849 Exactly. 1242 00:49:34.050 --> 00:49:34.429 See you there. 1243 00:49:35.690 --> 00:49:38.159 Hello, Tom Allen here. And Susie Ruffle. 1244 00:49:38.440 --> 00:49:41.420 We have a podcast called Like-Minded Friends. It's very much 1245 00:49:41.460 --> 00:49:43.760 a celebration of, I don't know, what would you say, Suze, 1246 00:49:43.780 --> 00:49:44.360 being queer? 1247 00:49:44.579 --> 00:49:45.679 Being queer, but also chit-chat. 1248 00:49:45.699 --> 00:49:47.500 There's loads of straight people that love it, so I 1249 00:49:47.519 --> 00:49:48.800 think that you should come along and listen to it. 1250 00:49:48.940 --> 00:49:50.039 There's something for everybody. 1251 00:49:50.179 --> 00:49:53.110 It's been described as white noise for gays, but also 1252 00:49:53.190 --> 00:49:54.949 we had a lovely section about Glade plug-ins. 1253 00:49:56.690 --> 00:49:57.530 So why don't you listen to it? 1254 00:49:57.829 --> 00:50:00.210 Search Like-Minded Friends wherever you get your podcasts. 1255 00:50:00.769 --> 00:50:02.050 That sounded quite professional, didn't it? 1256 00:50:02.309 --> 00:50:02.380 Mmm. 1257 00:50:03.909 --> 00:50:06.809 From the Box is the TV podcast that goes behind 1258 00:50:06.849 --> 00:50:11.099 the scenes of the nation's favourite shows, including Coronation Street, Emmerdale, 1259 00:50:11.139 --> 00:50:12.760 Hollyoaks and EastEnders. 1260 00:50:13.099 --> 00:50:15.559 You know, it was literally, we couldn't sort of go 1261 00:50:15.619 --> 00:50:18.219 anywhere without being recognised. 1262 00:50:18.510 --> 00:50:21.250 I'm Lee Salisbury and I directed the shows and the 1263 00:50:21.309 --> 00:50:24.510 stars in them. On this podcast, I delve where no 1264 00:50:24.570 --> 00:50:26.550 one else has been. Well, I mean, you can listen 1265 00:50:26.590 --> 00:50:30.750 to over 70 episodes right now with stars including Sue Johnston, 1266 00:50:30.829 --> 00:50:35.110 Glynis Barber, Denise Welsh, Sid Owen, Sally Dynevor and Danny Minogue. 1267 00:50:35.690 --> 00:50:37.469 No more, no more. 1268 00:50:37.719 --> 00:50:39.920 In this week's episode, I chat to the star of 1269 00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:41.820 one of the biggest Christmas films. 1270 00:50:41.539 --> 00:50:42.460 Of all time. 1271 00:50:42.639 --> 00:50:44.500 Hi, I'm Martine McCutcheon. 1272 00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:45.500 Yes, love actually. 1273 00:50:45.599 --> 00:50:49.599 And EastEnders actress Martine McCutcheon goes behind the scenes with me, 1274 00:50:49.960 --> 00:50:51.000 especially for you. 1275 00:50:51.519 --> 00:50:54.780 It's such a beautiful thing, like, to be part. 1276 00:50:54.539 --> 00:50:55.940 Of your legacy, to leave behind. 1277 00:50:56.179 --> 00:50:59.460 Soap from the Box, the TV podcast you don't want 1278 00:50:59.500 --> 00:50:59.780 to miss.