Barack Hussein BoBama 的完整文字稿

hope you remember him as Naked Guy in 2008's Ghost Town and for TV shows like 00:02:19.277 --> 00:02:22.514 Somebody Somewhere and Pluribus and Ghosts and American Horror Story, 00:02:22.514 --> 00:02:23.612 Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. 00:02:24.036 --> 00:02:27.490 Broad City, Difficult People, Playing House, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, 00:02:27.757 --> 00:02:30.184 Bored to Death, 30 Rock, the list goes on. 00:02:31.077 --> 00:02:35.537 And I said it before, but he is starring in the fantastic Widow's Bay right 00:02:35.537 --> 00:02:38.347 now. Please go check that out. If you haven't already, buy a fucking, 00:02:38.347 --> 00:02:39.849 I don't know, Apple Charger. 00:02:40.221 --> 00:02:44.347 I'm sure they'll give you three months free of Apple TV and then just go binge 00:02:44.347 --> 00:02:45.538 that shit. And Pluribus. 00:02:45.875 --> 00:02:49.797 All right, let's get to our first mutter with Lapkus and Hiller. 00:02:54.089 --> 00:02:56.437 This is a nice, quiet spot for a picnic. 00:02:57.607 --> 00:02:59.946 Barack Hussein Bobama. 00:03:02.686 --> 00:03:03.011 And I... 00:03:05.217 --> 00:03:09.317 Yeah, no, I know. Okay, are we doing this again? 00:03:09.317 --> 00:03:16.670 I'm just saying, with the 44th president, this park, 00:03:17.947 --> 00:03:27.031 where this picnic would have been really great, is now riddled with health insurance. 00:03:27.948 --> 00:03:29.515 Do you know his last name? 00:03:29.742 --> 00:03:30.822 Yes, Bobama. 00:03:33.387 --> 00:03:35.053 Okay. Jeremy? 00:03:35.529 --> 00:03:36.005 What? 00:03:36.714 --> 00:03:39.297 I really wanted to come out here and have a nice picnic with you. 00:03:39.337 --> 00:03:40.766 Me too, if it weren't for Bobama. 00:03:44.510 --> 00:03:50.959 I feel like our relationship has kind of gotten a little stagnant lately 00:03:51.690 --> 00:03:56.867 like we were look i love you i've been in love with you this has been amazing 00:03:56.867 --> 00:03:59.697 this courtship we've had it's 00:03:59.697 --> 00:04:04.798 been wonderful and then you've just you're not able to let it go you know 00:04:05.100 --> 00:04:05.837 Let what go you're 00:04:05.837 --> 00:04:10.650 Not able to let this go about Obama like you just kind of are constantly Obama 00:04:13.377 --> 00:04:14.678 So you're breaking up with me because... 00:04:14.678 --> 00:04:16.238 Banana, fana, fo, fama, 00:04:16.238 --> 00:04:20.910 Is that... You're breaking up with me because... Thanks, Bobama. 00:04:21.304 --> 00:04:23.998 Oh, my God. It's not enough. 00:04:25.217 --> 00:04:29.068 It's not... I'm not... I'm not... Okay, I don't want to break up with you. 00:04:29.068 --> 00:04:34.023 But you are right now. Is that right? And I know what a breakup is like because I've had nothing but... 00:04:36.078 --> 00:04:39.688 I was coming here, actually, to have a picnic with you. You can see I brought 00:04:39.688 --> 00:04:41.616 all this delicious stuff, okay? 00:04:42.208 --> 00:04:48.728 from the fancy little grocery boutique.

I spent like $400 on these fucking strawberries. 00:04:48.728 --> 00:04:54.738 Yeah, because you're all bougie like, like Boushbama. We'll get it. 00:04:55.589 --> 00:05:02.918 You are an elitist in your ivory tower with your spreadable cheeses. 00:05:05.045 --> 00:05:06.386 I don't know where that was going. 00:05:08.110 --> 00:05:11.430 You think I'm, you think I'm not as good as you. Is that right? 00:05:11.814 --> 00:05:13.218 That's not true, Jeremy. 00:05:13.543 --> 00:05:16.958 No, it is true. I'm not as good as you. Please don't leave me. 00:05:18.098 --> 00:05:22.969 I can't be alone without you. Don't do this. I can't be alone without you. Get up. Kiss your feet. 00:05:25.709 --> 00:05:28.758 I should take your shoes off first. That tasted like dirt. 00:05:28.758 --> 00:05:31.601 Oh, ow. Is this man bothering you? Are you okay? 00:05:31.874 --> 00:05:34.528 No, this is my boyfriend. Sorry, we're fine. 00:05:34.528 --> 00:05:37.145 Lay off, Bobama. Lay off. 00:05:38.759 --> 00:05:39.084 Who? 00:05:39.293 --> 00:05:40.117 Bobama. 00:05:40.448 --> 00:05:43.298 He's trying to say Obama and he can't say it Wait, 00:05:43.298 --> 00:05:48.889 Do you think I'm talking about the President Obama? No, I'm talking about Bobama Are you not? 00:05:50.514 --> 00:05:51.611 Who's Bobama? 00:05:53.115 --> 00:05:55.820 It's a term for a jerk face 00:05:57.551 --> 00:05:58.523 What? A Bobama. 00:05:58.523 --> 00:06:01.293 Oh my God. This whole time you're saying Bobama? 00:06:01.633 --> 00:06:02.810 It's a jerk face. 00:06:03.408 --> 00:06:06.403 Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was just kind of sitting over there with 00:06:06.403 --> 00:06:10.953 my dog, but I heard you loudly say Barack Hussein Bobama. 00:06:10.993 --> 00:06:14.253 Well, that's just for fun. Bobama is the thing that it rhymes with Obama, 00:06:14.253 --> 00:06:15.390 which was the president. 00:06:16.513 --> 00:06:19.383 Okay. Okay. I'm sorry to interrupt here. I didn't know you guys were into this 00:06:19.383 --> 00:06:20.706 stuff. I just wanted to see if you're okay. 00:06:20.944 --> 00:06:21.923 We're not into this stuff. 00:06:21.923 --> 00:06:23.843 Yeah, what does that mean? I don't know what that means. Some sort of kink? 00:06:23.843 --> 00:06:29.193 Oh, like I saw you down kissing her feet and trying to take her shoes off and 00:06:29.593 --> 00:06:32.253 I assume lick her toes. I don't know. That's you. 00:06:32.673 --> 00:06:33.553 He wasn't going to lick my toes. 00:06:33.733 --> 00:06:35.923 That was some projection. That was some projection. 00:06:35.923 --> 00:06:37.013 Okay. Sorry. 00:06:37.433 --> 00:06:38.887 Do you have a foot thing? 00:06:39.438 --> 00:06:43.200 I put peanut butter on and I have my dog lick it off. I'll say that. 00:06:44.024 --> 00:06:45.833 That's almost gestiality. 00:06:46.493 --> 00:06:50.873 I do feel like you need to really need to make sure the dog has some consent 00:06:50.873 --> 00:06:53.736 in that matter because it does start to cross a line. 00:06:53.875 --> 00:06:56.153 Well, I feed the dog and it has. 00:06:56.697 --> 00:06:59.448 You can't feed a dog only peanut butter. They need meat. 00:07:00.693 --> 00:07:02.073 He'll get sick. He needs meat. 00:07:02.593 --> 00:07:05.913 I understand that. I got the wrong impression. I thought you guys were into 00:07:05.913 --> 00:07:07.933 something that you weren't, that I was also. 00:07:07.933 --> 00:07:11.393 I'm just getting broken up with and I'm begging her not to leave me because 00:07:11.733 --> 00:07:13.612 I am a shell of a human being. 00:07:14.563 --> 00:07:17.947 Well, honestly, I'm kind of thrown by this whole Bo Bama situation that you 00:07:18.232 --> 00:07:22.407 you do know it's Obama. You're saying Bo Bama on purpose. Like that actually 00:07:22.407 --> 00:07:26.687 does kind of change how I feel about you right now. I'm rewriting a ton of memories. 00:07:27.886 --> 00:07:29.494 Oh, see. 00:07:29.836 --> 00:07:32.997 Because like there were times where we were fighting and you were saying Bo 00:07:32.997 --> 00:07:36.372 Bama. And I was like, why are you bringing him into this? 00:07:36.732 --> 00:07:37.937 It's like, you know, 00:07:37.937 --> 00:07:40.436 And you're calling me a jerk face, actually. 00:07:41.318 --> 00:07:41.719 Yeah. 00:07:41.968 --> 00:07:46.197 Which is actually better and easier for me to understand than you being obsessed 00:07:46.197 --> 00:07:48.099 with the former president. Yeah. 00:07:48.453 --> 00:07:53.666 Yeah. I'm just an insulting person. I'm not like a weirdo who's obsessed with 00:07:54.223 --> 00:07:56.649 politics. I don't even really follow politics. 00:07:56.974 --> 00:08:00.587 But you do think you're better than me. Admit that. Come on. 00:08:01.107 --> 00:08:02.207 Just say it, you bo-bama. 00:08:02.207 --> 00:08:05.978 In some ways. In some ways. You bo-bama, bitch. 00:08:07.458 --> 00:08:11.277 Fuck it. I'm done with this relationship. How dare you call me bo-bama right 00:08:11.277 --> 00:08:12.918 tomorrow? My fucking face. 00:08:16.296 --> 00:08:20.551 Thanks, Lauren. Thanks, Jeff. Next up, you just got a dose of them two episodes 00:08:20.551 --> 00:08:24.751 ago. It's Mike Antonucci and Daniel Spencer, two-fourths of the video sketch 00:08:24.751 --> 00:08:29.247 comedy team. Captain Hippo Nucci, he's an actor, writer, an artist. 00:08:29.421 --> 00:08:32.581 I thank him every episode because he did the art for this podcast. 00:08:32.581 --> 00:08:36.121 He was on HBO's Girls, wrote for Above Average for many years, 00:08:36.121 --> 00:08:40.015 did the graphics and art for Saturday Night Live, Desus and Marrow, 00:08:40.721 --> 00:08:42.035 The Break with Michelle Wolfe. 00:08:42.192 --> 00:08:48.328 He also plays Kramer brilliantly on improvised Seinfeld, Daniel Spencer Levine, 00:08:48.543 --> 00:08:51.219 writer, graphic artist, illustrator, actor. 00:08:51.532 --> 00:08:58.109 He's been working the graphic arts for almost two decades. Ton of shows from

CNN to Netflix. 00:08:58.295 --> 00:09:02.421 Worked for a decade on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Full Frontal with 00:09:02.421 --> 00:09:04.849 Samantha Bee, Game Theory with Bimani Jones. 00:09:05.174 --> 00:09:09.208 He's worked for The New Yorker, Above Average, which he also wrote for. 00:09:09.961 --> 00:09:13.549 So, yeah, man, let's get to our second mutter. It's Nooch and Dan. 00:09:17.816 --> 00:09:22.077 This is a nice, quiet spot for a picnic. Huh? 00:09:23.238 --> 00:09:25.444 Barack Hussein Bobama. 00:09:26.767 --> 00:09:27.365 What's that? 00:09:28.056 --> 00:09:28.375 Hmm? 00:09:28.671 --> 00:09:29.241 What's that? 00:09:29.541 --> 00:09:33.919 What'd you say? You bet it. You betcha. Holy moly. 00:09:34.128 --> 00:09:35.237 Did you say Bobama? 00:09:35.817 --> 00:09:41.771 Uh, just, you know, I'm just trying out catchphrases, feeling the moment, 00:09:41.771 --> 00:09:43.950 feeling the breeze a little bit. 00:09:44.973 --> 00:09:45.377 drunk 00:09:45.837 --> 00:09:51.977 Okay all right just did you want to say did you have any commentary on him as a 00:09:52.457 --> 00:09:58.097 President i'm just feeling the there are tulips there are trees i'm feeling 00:09:58.097 --> 00:10:02.087 good i'm just letting the spirits come to me 00:10:02.797 --> 00:10:06.474 said something i shouldn't have apparently that rustled a few feathers i see 00:10:06.741 --> 00:10:09.265 a couple of other people in our vicinity staring i'm just gonna 00:10:10.020 --> 00:10:14.298 prefer we just gloss over that and keep unloading these picnic baskets 00:10:14.472 --> 00:10:16.897 Yep okay what did you said 00:10:16.897 --> 00:10:17.757 Something sandwich 00:10:17.757 --> 00:10:18.807 In passing to those 00:10:18.807 --> 00:10:22.507 People sandwich no you know just i got here early 00:10:22.507 --> 00:10:24.393 Just grab that corner put that corner down 00:10:24.562 --> 00:10:29.617 Okay i'm gonna put a sandwich on each corner the way the sandwich is good 00:10:29.617 --> 00:10:31.388 Yeah that's good so what'd you say to those people 00:10:31.969 --> 00:10:36.197 Um i was just trying out new catchphrases i hit those guys with a with an oi 00:10:36.197 --> 00:10:39.335 be woi be uh i thought that one worked that didn't work 00:10:40.097 --> 00:10:44.637 i thought it was kind of like a an oh boy meets a wavy gravy kind of thing they 00:10:44.637 --> 00:10:46.997 didn't like that um do you uh 00:10:47.526 --> 00:10:52.887 Do you come here often because i i noticed like kind of when we came in people 00:10:52.887 --> 00:10:57.934 kind of moved away that's why i was like this is a great spot for a picnic it's a very 00:10:58.463 --> 00:11:00.357 I i've always central 00:11:00.357 --> 00:11:04.117 Park is a pretty popular you know place but it 00:11:04.117 --> 00:11:06.067 Seems i know exactly and i feel carve out 00:11:06.067 --> 00:11:07.097 A little spot for ourselves 00:11:07.097 --> 00:11:10.107 Here. I've always been jealous of people who have like

a thing like, 00:11:10.107 --> 00:11:14.417 hey, there's the naked cowboy or there's the naked plumber. There's the naked 00:11:14.417 --> 00:11:16.236 mayor, like people who have a thing. 00:11:16.544 --> 00:11:19.940 And I wanted to be the guy that had the thing like, hey, the guy that always says that thing. 00:11:20.346 --> 00:11:22.686 And I come here sometimes and I just walk around. 00:11:23.162 --> 00:11:26.857 People wave to me. And now I say, hey, I'm going to say the thing and people 00:11:26.857 --> 00:11:30.406 are going to know me for that thing. And all strikes. 00:11:30.528 --> 00:11:34.313 It's just like baseball. I get 10-15 strikes and then I'm out. 00:11:34.714 --> 00:11:36.931 Huh. Okay. All right. Well, 00:11:37.905 --> 00:11:42.648 So you're looking to hire a personal assistant. Is that what, 00:11:42.776 --> 00:11:48.330 like, you want me to, what, like kind of help you with your emails? 00:11:51.042 --> 00:11:58.223 I want a PR person. I want someone to help me curate. You know, I'm old. I'm 28. 00:11:59.070 --> 00:12:04.320 And I want someone, what people call a Zoomer, to help me teach me some lingua, 00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:06.430 maybe make it. I want people to like me. 00:12:06.950 --> 00:12:09.396 I just want people around me. I've lived here my whole life. 00:12:09.756 --> 00:12:13.953 I've been walking to this park. Nobody knows me. I want to be a cool guy who has a thing. 00:12:14.690 --> 00:12:18.500 Right, right. Yeah, okay. I mean, it seems like people do know you, 00:12:18.500 --> 00:12:20.870 but maybe they don't actually like you. 00:12:20.870 --> 00:12:24.720 Oh, God, I've cornered us. I put sandwiches on the corners, but then I got carried 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:27.548 away, and I put sandwiches on the whole perimeter, and now we're surrounded. 00:12:28.500 --> 00:12:29.818 Yeah, it's a lot of sandwiches. 00:12:29.981 --> 00:12:33.450 Oh, God, here come the ants. Oh, no, this isn't the thing that I want to be 00:12:33.450 --> 00:12:36.520 known for. I'm not the sandwich guy. take it easy 00:12:36.520 --> 00:12:39.216 Take it easy i feel like what was that oh god what'd you say 00:12:40.464 --> 00:12:47.730 I said i'm not the i said i'm not the sandwich guy oh okay oh god that was close yeah okay sorry 00:12:48.050 --> 00:12:52.812 When you were past me before did you say barack hussein bobama uh 00:12:54.650 --> 00:12:58.326 I i might have did you think do you think that that's a cool thing that someone would say 00:12:59.563 --> 00:13:01.380 I just didn't know why you said it to us 00:13:01.896 --> 00:13:05.342 Okay this is that one's not going to work then okay thank you sir noted 00:13:05.586 --> 00:13:07.840 Okay you did say that though 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:08.866 Right i did 00:13:09.029 --> 00:13:11.391 Oh okay okay why 00:13:12.750 --> 00:13:21.463 Uh i guess i wanted you a stranger uh-huh like to like me oh 00:13:23.043 --> 00:13:26.148 No, man. No, that's not the way. 00:13:26.497 --> 00:13:30.318 He just took off. My God. Well, yeah. It's like how fast he's running. 00:13:30.318 --> 00:13:33.668 Hey, look, here's the thing. Like, you don't have to engage with people just 00:13:33.668 --> 00:13:37.840 to engage with people. Like, especially if you don't really have much to say. 00:13:38.798 --> 00:13:42.037 Like, if you're going to start something, like, you know, finish it. 00:13:42.286 --> 00:13:47.368 Right? Like, you walked up to that gentleman and you said Barack Hussein Bo Bama. 00:13:47.728 --> 00:13:48.080 I did. 00:13:48.968 --> 00:13:50.698 Because his dog was Bo. 00:13:51.908 --> 00:13:53.548 Oh, okay. okay is that the connection so 00:13:53.548 --> 00:13:58.328 This is like barack hussein obama famously had a dog named bow and what this 00:13:58.688 --> 00:14:01.738 uh this catchphrase does is that it turns that those tropes on their on its 00:14:01.738 --> 00:14:06.805 ear and it combines the them both oh two things people like 00:14:06.950 --> 00:14:11.188 You're trying it out as a catchphrase yeah oh so kind of like you just walk 00:14:11.188 --> 00:14:12.814 by and that's kind of what you say and i 00:14:12.976 --> 00:14:18.868 Do my finger guns and i say barack hussein obama and they go whatever the answer 00:14:18.868 --> 00:14:22.238 to that that's this is where you come And this is why, what's a good call and 00:14:22.238 --> 00:14:25.538 response? What's a good, Barack Hussein Obama, now you. 00:14:26.228 --> 00:14:30.568 Honestly, my first question is why would you add the B to the name? 00:14:30.568 --> 00:14:34.108 That's too long. It has to be a snappier response. But that's what I'm saying. 00:14:34.108 --> 00:14:36.045 As a person, that's, I guess... 00:14:39.097 --> 00:14:41.697 What are you looking for out of people? You want friendship? 00:14:41.697 --> 00:14:46.657 I just want all these people are in their own little universes, 00:14:46.657 --> 00:14:48.417 and I just want to reach my arms out. 00:14:48.557 --> 00:14:49.397 You're just trying to bridge the divide. 00:14:49.597 --> 00:14:53.167 And I want to bridge the divide. I want to reach out and strangle them with kindness. 00:14:53.167 --> 00:14:57.137 I'm so sorry to interrupt. There's ants everywhere. I don't know if you see 00:14:57.137 --> 00:14:59.217 it. You have a lot of sandwiches on here. And there's just ants. 00:14:59.437 --> 00:15:05.870 Yeah, there's a logical explanation. Are you the sandwich guy or something? Oh, God, no. Here we go. 00:15:06.944 --> 00:15:09.968 No, I'm not the sandwich guy. I'm the Barack Hussein Obama guy. 00:15:10.514 --> 00:15:11.431 The what? 00:15:11.878 --> 00:15:15.937 Okay. Yeah, I'm the sandwich guy. I'll be the sandwich guy. 00:15:19.117 --> 00:15:23.117 Thanks, Nooch. Thanks, Dan. Last up, you heard them back in episode 17. 00:15:23.117 --> 00:15:26.948 If you haven't, please go check it out. It's Carl Tart and Achilles Stamatalaki. 00:15:27.777 --> 00:15:32.637 I've known Achilles, you know,

forever. He's a stalwart of the UCB Theater in New York. 00:15:32.788 --> 00:15:36.367 He's rocking out ASCAP there right now. He was a coach of mine for a while. 00:15:36.367 --> 00:15:37.983 He's a fantastic teacher. 00:15:38.180 --> 00:15:41.007 He's an actor. He's a writer. He's a director, been in a ton of commercials. 00:15:41.007 --> 00:15:42.679 He was a staff writer on Broad City. 00:15:43.277 --> 00:15:46.907 He's written and directed several scripted Audible original series produced 00:15:46.907 --> 00:15:50.278 by Broadway Video, like Christmas Delivery, Hit Job, and Motivated. 00:15:50.551 --> 00:15:53.662 He also co-produced Murder at the Patel Motel. 00:15:53.929 --> 00:15:58.154 That won five Signal Awards, an Ambie Award, an iHeart Radio Award, 00:15:58.462 --> 00:16:04.407 and it was listed as Audible's Best of 2025. Carl Tart, the absolute funniest 00:16:04.407 --> 00:16:08.748 human, a staple in the L.A. improv community. 00:16:09.437 --> 00:16:13.717 He's an actor and writer currently writing on SNL. But, you know, 00:16:13.717 --> 00:16:16.987 he was also a writer for Mad TV and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Brockmeyer, 00:16:16.987 --> 00:16:19.232 Keenan, Ghosted, the list goes on. 00:16:19.957 --> 00:16:25.057 You maybe have seen him as a regular on Grand Crew. He was on Miracle Workers, 00:16:25.057 --> 00:16:28.834 History of the World Part II, lent his voice to all sorts of animated projects. 00:16:29.072 --> 00:16:34.567 I've been on Comedy Bang Bang a hundred times, and now he is doing my very important 00:16:34.567 --> 00:16:38.064 podcast. Both of them are. Let's get to our final mutter with Achilles and Carl. 00:16:42.382 --> 00:16:45.459 Hey, this is a nice, quiet spot for a picnic. 00:16:47.450 --> 00:16:49.337 Barack Hussein Obama. 00:16:53.377 --> 00:16:58.710 Huh. It's a weird response to what I just said. 00:17:00.615 --> 00:17:05.369 I'm just letting you know. I'm just letting you know who's still my president. 00:17:07.163 --> 00:17:08.746 Did you say Barack Hussein? 00:17:08.903 --> 00:17:09.949 Barack Hussein. 00:17:10.437 --> 00:17:11.406 Barack Hussein. 00:17:11.928 --> 00:17:14.663 Barack Hussein Obama is still my president and gonna be 00:17:15.557 --> 00:17:21.517 Okay yeah I was just trying to clarify what um what you said you said Bobama 00:17:21.855 --> 00:17:26.945 you know I know yeah I know like you know we we came out here we're co-workers 00:17:26.945 --> 00:17:29.284 we're trying to get to know each other but um, 00:17:30.329 --> 00:17:36.286 I think it's pretty sure because I voted for him a couple times yeah Barack Hussein Obama. 00:17:36.885 --> 00:17:37.423 That's what I said 00:17:39.426 --> 00:17:41.092 You said Obama, not Bobama? 00:17:41.538 --> 00:17:41.823 What? 00:17:43.111 --> 00:17:45.109 You said Obama, not Bobama? 00:17:45.422 --> 00:17:47.611 Listen, man, I feel like you're the only person I can trust in this office. 00:17:47.871 --> 00:17:50.931 I'm just being honest. I feel like everybody has it out for me. 00:17:51.425 --> 00:17:55.272 I feel like everybody has it out for me. I feel like everybody is breathing 00:17:55.272 --> 00:17:58.429 down my neck, looking at what I look at on my computer. 00:17:59.152 --> 00:18:02.661 Let me make sure I emphasize. 00:18:02.864 --> 00:18:07.775 It's my computer. Yes, it may belong to the company, but it's my computer. 00:18:08.373 --> 00:18:11.891 When I'm at work, did you change your password from the original password? 00:18:13.307 --> 00:18:16.592 Yeah, well, when they give you the computer, they give you a password so you 00:18:16.592 --> 00:18:18.242 can log into it, and then you're supposed to change it. 00:18:18.346 --> 00:18:18.921 Yes. 00:18:19.025 --> 00:18:20.362 Did you not change it? 00:18:20.362 --> 00:18:23.022 I did change it. I did change it. Okay, good. I just feel like people walking 00:18:23.022 --> 00:18:25.991 by and looking at what I'm looking at. It's like, why are you looking at what I'm looking at? 00:18:27.135 --> 00:18:27.588 Right. 00:18:27.727 --> 00:18:29.552 I feel like you're the only person I can trust in here, man. 00:18:29.552 --> 00:18:31.547 I feel like you're the only person I can trust in this office. 00:18:31.709 --> 00:18:35.030 No, I appreciate that. I want to be somebody you can trust. I mean, 00:18:35.244 --> 00:18:37.264 you know, like we work at Google. 00:18:37.793 --> 00:18:43.512 We are, you know, supposed to handle a lot of information, a lot of data, 00:18:43.832 --> 00:18:49.182 and we should be people where, you know, we should be trustworthy people. 00:18:49.182 --> 00:18:50.552 And I want to be that for you. 00:18:50.860 --> 00:18:54.910 I'm concerned that you think everybody in the office thinks that you're, 00:18:55.410 --> 00:18:57.453 that they're going after you. 00:18:57.761 --> 00:19:00.102 It just feels that way, right? Because let's break that, like, 00:19:00.102 --> 00:19:04.947 let's think about where we work at. Let's break down Google. Gio, Go. 00:19:05.684 --> 00:19:11.936 OG. Original things. Ellie, look, everybody. 00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:14.857 Okay, so just read that back. 00:19:14.857 --> 00:19:22.124 Look, go, original gangster. Look, everybody. Everybody's looking. Everybody's looking. 00:19:22.885 --> 00:19:29.717 Okay, wow. Okay. Yeah, I didn't realize you were one of those people that really reads into stuff a lot. 00:19:30.627 --> 00:19:34.427 I thought that, you know, like that was just people that, you know, 00:19:35.387 --> 00:19:39.687 I'm not calling you like a conspiracy theorist, but it sounds like you. 00:19:40.327 --> 00:19:43.481 Do you know that guy, Terrence Howard? Do you know Terrence Howard? 00:19:43.754 --> 00:19:44.886 Yeah, it's one of my favorite actors. 00:19:45.820 --> 00:19:47.037 Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. 00:19:47.037 --> 00:19:48.850 Have you ever seen the Jackson 5 American Dream? 00:19:49.942 --> 00:19:50.609 Yeah, I've seen that. 00:19:50.724 --> 00:19:53.000 I played

Jackie in that. That was one of his first roles. 00:19:54.219 --> 00:19:59.507 Yeah. This is so great. We're getting to know each other. Angela Bassett was in that, right? 00:20:00.070 --> 00:20:04.273 She was. She played Catherine. Where are you from? And what do you like to do? 00:20:05.538 --> 00:20:08.407 I'm from Connecticut. I mean, I don't like to do... I like to golf. 00:20:11.698 --> 00:20:16.347 That's my main thing. is, you know, I like to, after working 60 hours a week, 00:20:16.481 --> 00:20:19.598 you know, I like to go down to the golf course. 00:20:21.380 --> 00:20:22.855 Driving range. 00:20:23.093 --> 00:20:23.969 Jimmy Barter. 00:20:25.728 --> 00:20:28.747 Jimmy Barter. Oh, like Jimmy Carter? 00:20:29.084 --> 00:20:29.409 Who? 00:20:30.912 --> 00:20:31.562 Jimmy Carter? 00:20:32.154 --> 00:20:32.805 That's what I said. 00:20:34.308 --> 00:20:37.493 Right. I think you said Jimmy Barter, but I think we're talking about the same 00:20:37.493 --> 00:20:39.783 person. You're talking about the president. 00:20:40.804 --> 00:20:44.293 Thank you so much. I feel like you are a person who I can just lean on. 00:20:44.705 --> 00:20:47.623 I'm happy to be out here. Do you want some of my food? 00:20:48.283 --> 00:20:52.043 Yeah, let's set up here. Let's get set. But yeah, 00:20:56.633 --> 00:21:00.543 I brought the blanket, I brought a basket with some sandwiches and some stuff, 00:21:00.543 --> 00:21:02.136 a couple of drinks. What'd you bring? 00:21:02.577 --> 00:21:06.823 So I brought these fruits that are locally sourced. These are not fruits that 00:21:06.823 --> 00:21:08.678 you can just buy in a store. 00:21:09.154 --> 00:21:13.409 These fruits are from my garden. And I do a lot of crossbreeding with fruits. 00:21:13.955 --> 00:21:17.949 So what I did was I took a slice of starfruit and I put it in a banana. 00:21:18.303 --> 00:21:22.836 This took years to grow. So consider this a true gift. because I'd like you to be my friend. 00:21:24.178 --> 00:21:29.503 No, I, wow. This is, this is such an honor. You, you are giving me a fruit that 00:21:29.503 --> 00:21:34.900 you created. I mean, I can give you this turkey sandwich. I don't need processed meats. 00:21:35.510 --> 00:21:37.883 I don't need processed meats, but I will thank you for that. 00:21:38.403 --> 00:21:41.582 I'll eat the brand, but taste this. 00:21:41.826 --> 00:21:44.343 Taste this fruit. It's a star fruit mixed with a banana. 00:21:44.643 --> 00:21:47.166 I don't know how it tastes because I haven't had one. Only, only one grew. 00:21:47.518 --> 00:21:50.664 I planted a lot of seeds, but only one grew and it's taken three years. 00:21:51.901 --> 00:21:58.803 Wow that's a lot of effort as a piece yeah let me try it let me try it okay that's i'm peeling it. 00:21:59.958 --> 00:22:02.863 Okay that is that ain't like yeah it's banana right there 00:22:03.283 --> 00:22:09.803 No no it's like it's like a green yellow but the inside is different uh i'm 00:22:09.803 --> 00:22:14.813 just gonna i'm just it's got seeds yeah i'm just gonna try it you know jimmy 00:22:14.813 --> 00:22:18.000 carter was a peanut farmer yeah yeah that was his whole thing. 00:22:18.401 --> 00:22:21.943 That's as they say and that's what i really started why i really started growing 00:22:21.943 --> 00:22:27.033 stuff was because you need this one day you're gonna need it one day also i 00:22:27.033 --> 00:22:29.215 want to revisit something you said you call me a conspiracy theorist 00:22:29.778 --> 00:22:33.583 No no i i said i wasn't calling you that i said i wasn't calling you that but. 00:22:34.126 --> 00:22:34.633 I'm a fact 00:22:34.633 --> 00:22:41.723 Theorist uh yeah i like i like that phrasing better you're a fact theorist It's. 00:22:44.030 --> 00:22:50.391 Why I got a job at Google. It's why I got a job at Google because think about it. 00:22:51.372 --> 00:22:56.503 How else can I infiltrate everything, everything that people knows? 00:22:56.883 --> 00:22:57.043 Yeah. 00:22:57.043 --> 00:22:58.703 If I'm the search engine. 00:22:59.812 --> 00:23:04.613 Exactly. Yeah. You come across hundreds of searches a day and you answer them. 00:23:04.787 --> 00:23:09.814 Exactly. Now, sure. Sure. I may just be putting sponsored ads in right now. 00:23:11.242 --> 00:23:13.912 but i'm gonna get up there i'm gonna climb up the ladder 00:23:14.180 --> 00:23:17.697 It's all about steps right it's all about you know everybody everybody starts 00:23:17.697 --> 00:23:22.447 out in the mailroom eventually that you know like they get up to being the ceo 00:23:22.447 --> 00:23:27.647 right now you're just doing targeted ads um i'm doing kind of the ai stuff uh, 00:23:28.349 --> 00:23:33.337 at the moment you know like how the you search for something and or i guess 00:23:33.337 --> 00:23:38.665 other people search for something and then the answers that you get on the ai are bad yeah yeah, 00:23:39.600 --> 00:23:43.094 that's the stuff i'm doing right now because i'm just answering i'm just answering 00:23:43.534 --> 00:23:49.267 it like i'm not giving them a website to to click on i'm just answering based 00:23:49.267 --> 00:23:52.485 on my experience and knowledge and then that comes up. 00:23:52.671 --> 00:23:56.867 And that's why i like you man that's why i like you you're the only person i 00:23:56.867 --> 00:24:00.816 can trust in this office you're the only person everybody else feels everybody else just 00:24:01.507 --> 00:24:06.587 crawling spiders spiders crawling on my neck that's what it feels like you're 00:24:06.587 --> 00:24:07.950 the only person that's crawling 00:24:08.768 --> 00:24:11.687 That's what everybody else feels like to you i don't want to be a spider i don't 00:24:11.687 --> 00:24:21.357 want to be a spider to you i want to be i want to be a um a gentle hug to you um a gentle don't ever. 00:24:21.357 --> 00:24:23.657 Touch me i'm just saying that right now 00:24:23.657 --> 00:24:26.537 Don't okay i'm sorry no but yeah

i don't. 00:24:27.466 --> 00:24:33.260 We can sit out here we can break bread as two kings two kings two egyptian kings 00:24:35.994 --> 00:24:39.007 we can lay like the speaks like have our arms in front of us, 00:24:39.227 --> 00:24:43.040 Like this. Or just lay out, yeah, kind of in that pose. 00:24:44.003 --> 00:24:44.421 Yeah. 00:24:44.868 --> 00:24:46.127 Tell each other riddles. 00:24:46.447 --> 00:24:47.568 Sun, our perineums. 00:24:49.994 --> 00:24:53.362 I know. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, the, that's the taint, right? 00:24:53.362 --> 00:24:55.932 Yeah. Perineum. You know, let me, let me, let me look it up. 00:24:55.932 --> 00:24:57.750 Let me just make sure. Let me look up. 00:24:58.504 --> 00:25:01.012 Let me type it in on my phone. 00:25:01.831 --> 00:25:02.642 It's perineum. 00:25:03.382 --> 00:25:05.691 The taint. I don't need to use a phone. Which college did you go to? 00:25:07.177 --> 00:25:11.606 Which college? I went to, actually I went to MIT. I studied, 00:25:11.902 --> 00:25:14.021 yeah, I studied software engineering. 00:25:14.189 --> 00:25:17.452 Let's break that down. M. Maybe. 00:25:18.562 --> 00:25:23.582 I. I. T. Teach. Maybe I teach. 00:25:25.265 --> 00:25:29.068 Yes. I'm starting to see your point of view. 00:25:29.317 --> 00:25:31.871 Yeah. I went to Stokely Carmichael University. 00:25:32.916 --> 00:25:35.993 Stokely Carmichael. So what does that mean? What does that mean? They don't know that? 00:25:36.283 --> 00:25:39.302 Because I learned more. I learned more than what they can teach. 00:25:39.441 --> 00:25:40.844 They think I went to Illinois State. 00:25:44.212 --> 00:25:50.446 Wait so on your resume on your resume you put illinois state or you put. 00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:51.732 Okay but that's not 00:25:51.732 --> 00:25:55.472 The that's not the school you went to that's not the school you went to. 00:25:55.890 --> 00:26:02.102 Because i'm a i'm a free thinker i'm higher than this okay wow trickson 00:26:08.845 --> 00:26:11.713 Thanks, Achilles. Thanks, Carl. And thank you to all my guests. 00:26:11.713 --> 00:26:14.656 Check out Lauren Lapkus in Stewart Fails to Save the Universe. 00:26:14.835 --> 00:26:17.407 It's dropping on HBO Max on July 23rd. 00:26:17.692 --> 00:26:19.793 And she has a podcast, Freedom. 00:26:20.233 --> 00:26:23.583 Check that out wherever you get, I guess, this podcast. And Jeff Hiller, 00:26:23.583 --> 00:26:27.456 he is on Widow's Bay right now on Apple TV. And you can get his book, 00:26:27.659 --> 00:26:30.910 Actress of a Certain Age, wherever you get your books, not Amazon. 00:26:31.177 --> 00:26:36.720 Follow Mike Antonucci and Daniel Spencer at CaptainHippo.com or CaptainHippoOfficial 00:26:36.993 --> 00:26:42.067 on Instagram. Nooch is at Dr. Nooch. Dan is at Daniel Spencer's Playhouse. 00:26:42.369 --> 00:26:47.181 Captain Hippo has a podcast called Captain Hippo Has to Make, so go check that out. 00:26:47.396 --> 00:26:51.482 Carl Tartt, check him out on Hollywood Handbook, Patreon slash Hollywood Handbook. 00:26:51.744 --> 00:26:55.076 And Saturday Night Live, when that comes back. Achilles Stamatalaki, 00:26:55.673 --> 00:27:02.314 check him out on ASCAP at UCB in New York. Thank you to Seth and Nooch for the music and the art. 00:27:02.504 --> 00:27:05.433 If you want to submit your own first two lines to be used in a future episode, 00:27:05.433 --> 00:27:10.703 DM me at MutterflyThePod on Instagram or email MutterflyThePod at gmail.com. 00:27:10.703 --> 00:27:15.315 Please rate and review the show to feed that terrifying algorithm. 00:27:15.577 --> 00:27:19.954 And yeah, I'll see you next Thursday for an all new episode of Mutterfly. I'm Don Finnelli. 00:27:20.303 --> 00:27:22.781 Thank you for joining me. Bye bye.