Target For Toothpaste, Home With A Lampshade 的完整文字稿

well it isn't true? 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:25.120 Not a grand deception, the tiny little promise you make with a straight face. 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:26.800 I'll remember that. 00:02:27.759 --> 00:02:30.080 I'll be ready in five minutes. 00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:32.319 I'm just gonna look. 00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:34.879 Do you ever say those things? 00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:36.719 I'm just going to look. 00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:40.159 There's a sentence that is paid for a lot of shopping centers. 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:45.120 Today we're talking about the little lies that we tell ourselves every day. 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:47.840 They're so familiar, they don't even knock anymore. 00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:52.800 They let themselves in, they put their feet up, and they tell us, we don't need a shopping list. 00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:54.479 We'll remember everything. 00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:55.680 Oh my God. 00:02:55.840 --> 00:02:58.000 And I think I did this the other day. 00:02:58.240 --> 00:03:00.560 I gotta check and see where I put my umbrella. 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:03.199 I think I put it somewhere I wasn't supposed to. 00:03:03.680 --> 00:03:05.520 And I thought, I'll remember. 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:09.919 And before anybody gets nervous, this is not a moral investigation. 00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:14.800 I'm not opening a commission on something. 00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:17.439 I don't have the filing system for that. 00:03:17.599 --> 00:03:28.560 We're laughing at the completely ordinary way we human beings can now better and still announce with conviction conviction, I won't forget where I parked. 00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:34.159 The parking lot would like a word with you, because that ain't true. 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:38.879 Let's begin with the most desk dangerous destination in any home. 00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:40.560 Somewhere safe. 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:42.800 Somewhere safe is not a location. 00:03:43.120 --> 00:03:43.520 All right. 00:03:43.599 --> 00:03:45.520 Now, a lot of you out there are. 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:53.039 Oh, I gotta make sure I don't hit the space bar on my keyboard because it stops the recording, and I almost did it. 00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:56.960 So, but the someplace safe. 00:03:57.039 --> 00:03:58.719 Oh, I'm gonna put it someplace safe. 00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:00.240 I'm gonna put it someplace safe. 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:01.520 Do you know where that is? 00:04:01.759 --> 00:04:06.960 You're gonna buy some Christmas gifts here in the next short while, and you're gonna put it someplace safe. 00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:11.199 And then when it comes to wrapping the gifts, are you gonna remember where you put it? 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:16.079 Where you put the gift card, where you put those important papers. 00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:19.199 Let's say you move it off the counter. 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:23.680 Now you've done the responsible thing and nobody can complete the transaction. 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:24.720 We don't know where

we put it. 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:28.800 We took it off the counter because that's not where it belongs, but where did we put it? 00:04:29.600 --> 00:04:32.000 I love the confidence of the original decision. 00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:34.959 You hold the thing in your hand and you think this is perfect. 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:38.319 The spot made so much sense when you put it there. 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:40.879 How could I possibly forget this? 00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:41.519 Ha! 00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:47.920 Because the person who hides the object and the person who needs it are two people completely different women. 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:55.759 One is a strategic genius, the other is opening a drawer full of batteries and asking the dog questions. 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:57.600 Where did I put it? 00:04:58.319 --> 00:05:00.800 It's your job to remember, not mine. 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:03.040 Looking at that poor dog. 00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:07.279 Did you see what I did with that envelope? 00:05:07.759 --> 00:05:12.959 The dog is working on his own long-term project involving a sock and where he put that. 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:15.279 Then comes a search. 00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:24.319 First, you check the sensible places, then you check the places that suggest you no longer trust yourself, like the refrigerator. 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:27.040 I remember Craig was going crazy. 00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:28.800 He has a favorite coffee mug. 00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:30.240 He's had it since we were married. 00:05:30.319 --> 00:05:32.560 It was a gift when we got married. 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.920 He's used that coffee mug for 35 years. 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:41.040 When we moved and I got rid of all the coffee mugs, I made sure I kept that one. 00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:45.439 He is going round and round and round in this house. 00:05:45.839 --> 00:05:50.800 He is looking in his closet, mind you, for this coffee mug. 00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:56.959 And then the accusatory tones that come my way, which I know better than to do anything with certain things. 00:05:57.120 --> 00:05:57.920 I don't. 00:05:58.160 --> 00:05:59.439 I don't. 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:01.680 He opened the microwave. 00:06:01.839 --> 00:06:02.720 There it was. 00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:03.519 Yeah. 00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:05.279 We've all done it, right? 00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:10.000 You're looking for things that shouldn't be in the battery drawer. 00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:15.519 You're looking for it, then come you search everywhere, you check everywhere, and then you finally find it. 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:16.480 And what do you say? 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:18.160 Oh, now I remember. 00:06:18.319 --> 00:06:22.959 And then you can replay in your whole head the time you made the decision to put it there, right? 00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:25.680 But up until that moment you couldn't. 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:27.839 The solution sounds simple. 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:32.560 We have one designated spot: a dish for keys, a folder for important paper. 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:33.920 That's lovely. 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:42.160 But there is always the day you decide the designated spot is too obvious, or you just don't put it there for whatever reason. 00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:44.399 This item is special. 00:06:44.480 --> 00:06:44.959 I don't know. 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:48.240 I did not put my umbrella back in the umbrella box. 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:50.319 I know I didn't, and I know where I put it. 00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:53.120 And after this episode, I'm gonna go move it. 00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:56.480 And there we go again. 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:01.279 The envelope has been upgraded to first class, and we have all lost contact with the flight. 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:02.800 We have no idea where it is. 00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:08.160 The real comedy is that somewhere safe often means safe from the person who owns it. 00:07:08.399 --> 00:07:09.839 Burglars could care less. 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.959 Burglars, first of all, how many of you are gonna be burglarized? 00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:14.399 I bet none of you. 00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:17.519 And burglars do what burglars do. 00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:19.680 You're never gonna outthink a burglar. 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:22.480 It's like being at the beach and putting your keys in your shoe. 00:07:22.560 --> 00:07:25.120 Yeah, nobody's gonna look in your shoe for your wallet and your keys. 00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:26.879 That's where everybody puts it. 00:07:27.759 --> 00:07:28.720 Anyway. 00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:32.639 Then there's the story we tell ourselves. 00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:34.800 I'm just going into Target for one thing. 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:37.759 I'm just gonna get this one thing at Target. 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:40.560 One thing is the purpose of the trip. 00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:42.959 It is not a binding agreement with the cart. 00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:49.600 You walk in for toothpaste, you know the toothpaste exists, you have purchased toothpaste before. 00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:56.480 This should be brief, a dignified errand, but first you pass something seasonal. 00:07:56.959 --> 00:08:01.680 Something small, a little pumpkin, something that says, you need this. 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:02.800 It's October. 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:10.000 And that tiny pumpkin is looking at you, not a real pumpkin, a decorative pumpkin, made of something that cannot be washed. 00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:13.040 And suddenly you are responsible for giving it a home. 00:08:13.920 --> 00:08:16.639 Then this candle says, I smell like autumn. 00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:18.879 What does autumn smell like? 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:22.079 Apparently, cinnamon, ambition, and$19. 00:08:25.439 --> 00:08:29.439 You didn't know your bathroom needed a little basket until you saw the little basket. 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:30.959 Now the bathroom has a problem. 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:33.519 Five minutes ago it was functioning perfectly.

00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:35.840 Now it lacks cohesion. 00:08:37.519 --> 00:08:38.720 Cohesion. 00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:40.000 Ha ha. 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:45.440 I went out to clean my teeth and returned with a design consultation for my bathroom. 00:08:45.679 --> 00:08:50.960 The basket is particularly dangerous because you tell yourself it will organize things. 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:52.240 Ah, right? 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:58.720 Buying an organizing product feels so much like organizing that you can go home and rest. 00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:00.879 You've had a productive afternoon. 00:09:01.039 --> 00:09:06.000 The clutter is still there, but now you've brought in a container. 00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:13.360 Now I'm not gonna lie, I just had two giant rubber-made boxes delivered from Target today. 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:14.320 Why? 00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:18.480 Because first of all, I can't drive until they give my brain the okay. 00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:23.039 And I think I need them to organize the bottom shelf in my bathroom. 00:09:23.919 --> 00:09:28.159 Yep, I got two of my own organizing things in the bathroom right now. 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:29.360 What about you? 00:09:32.559 --> 00:09:35.360 What about when you get in the store refusing the cart? 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:37.279 That's our little insurance policy. 00:09:37.440 --> 00:09:40.480 I won't get a cart, then I can't buy much. 00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:42.399 Excellent plan. 00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:53.200 Until you're carrying a lampshade under one arm and balancing two bottles of shampoo against your chest like a contestant on a game show nobody agreed to film, right? 00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:54.559 Have you done that one? 00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:56.000 Oh, I won't take a cart. 00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:56.799 Yeah. 00:09:57.120 --> 00:10:00.320 Now the toothpaste falls, you bend down, something else falls. 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:08.240 A stranger offers you a cart, and you take it as though she has arrived with a disaster relief plan, right? 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:09.360 Thank you. 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:11.519 I was trying to avoid that cart. 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:15.360 By checkout, we have revised the entire story. 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:18.080 We no longer say, I only need one thing. 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:21.600 We say, well, I was going to need all of this eventually. 00:10:22.799 --> 00:10:26.399 Eventually, is a very generous financial advisor. 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:29.519 And the receipt is long enough to qualify as a scarf. 00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:30.960 Look, win-win. 00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:33.360 You inspect it like an investigator. 00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:34.879 How did this happen? 00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:37.039 That's what happens to us in Costco. 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:38.240 I don't know about you. 00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:39.840 $357? 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:40.799 What? 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:43.440 I got a few meat sticks and some eggs. 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:48.000 Like what three, three, our last bill was over$300. 00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:51.200 We live in a one-bedroom condo, people. 00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:55.360 Well, we've all done it. 00:10:56.240 --> 00:11:01.600 I know I am speaking to the choir, but when you think about it, it's pretty damn funny. 00:11:02.080 --> 00:11:03.039 Honestly. 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:09.200 Oh, at home, we make another small confident announcement. 00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:11.279 I'm only going to watch one episode. 00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:13.919 One episode is a reasonable choice. 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:15.840 It's entertainment with boundaries. 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:17.200 We are grown people. 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:19.360 We have things to do tomorrow. 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:23.600 We can enjoy a little television and go to bed at an appropriate time. 00:11:23.840 --> 00:11:25.279 Then the episode ends. 00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:34.240 And these bewitching prop products like Netflix just keep putting on another episode, another episode, another episode, another episode. 00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:37.519 Next thing you know, you look at the clock and it's one in the morning. 00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:40.559 That's usually when I'm waking up from a first pee. 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:46.799 You can stop it, of course. 00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:51.600 There's a little, there's a button that will come up and say, are you still watching? 00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:52.960 Well, yes, I am. 00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:54.559 Thank you for asking. 00:11:55.360 --> 00:12:02.559 I don't know about you, but I can get hooked on something and go episode after episode after episode after episode after episode. 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:06.480 And yes, there's many a night I've looked up and it's one in the morning. 00:12:07.919 --> 00:12:11.600 Or I've fallen asleep and woken up and started watching again. 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:15.360 Morning arrives and we promise to go to bed early tonight. 00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:17.039 It's a beautiful promise. 00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:27.279 It should be printed on the same stationery as I'll be ready in five minutes, because five minutes is another imaginary unit of measurement, and your children know that better than anyone. 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:33.120 There are actually five minutes, and there are getting ready in five minutes. 00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:42.399 Getting ready five minutes can include changing shoes, finding earrings, deciding the first outfit was better, and remembering a thing that needed doing yesterday. 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:44.879 When somebody asks, Are you ready? 00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:48.720 We say, Almost! Oh my God. 00:12:49.360 --> 00:12:50.399 It's terrible. 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:55.679 Then the person waiting says, We're going to be late. 00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:57.519 And we get offended. 00:12:58.000 --> 00:12:59.679 Why are you bringing facts into this? 00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:01.759 I'm trying to find another earring. 00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:05.440

Perhaps we shouldn't start giving more specific updates. 00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:09.360 I am emotionally ready, but physically still in the closet. 00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:13.360 That would at least help people plan. 00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:17.039 What about the household negotiations? 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:19.840 The kitchen that has its own little language of optimism. 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:23.200 I'll rinse this off now and wash it properly later. 00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:24.639 I can't do that. 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:29.519 Now, if you are a person that can leave dishes in the sink, God bless you, I cannot. 00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:34.000 So I'm talking about this as if I do this, I don't. 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:39.440 Do not put dishes in the sink for just a second, but I know a lot of you do. 00:13:39.679 --> 00:13:43.840 And you have a plan to get it out of the sink and get it in wherever it needs to go. 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:45.039 I don't know. 00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:47.039 But you don't. 00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:51.519 All right, now then there's things putting this here for a second. 00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:54.399 You put a piece of mail down, you put something down. 00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:57.600 I'm just gonna put this here for a second, I'll grab it on my way out. 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:01.919 Some objects become furniture simply by not moving. 00:14:02.080 --> 00:14:06.240 A bag beside the door starts as an errand, and after a month, it's part of the room. 00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:11.360 You set things on it, you vacuum around it, you tell visitors to watch their step. 00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:15.279 You're basically the curator of an installation called returns. 00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:19.840 And every time you pass it, you think, I need to take that back with me. 00:14:19.919 --> 00:14:20.960 I need to take that with me. 00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:22.159 I should get that in the car. 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:25.039 And then it gets in the car, and then it never gets where it needs to go. 00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:33.600 Now, the beauty of having a very small home, like I do, not putting things in the car because we walk things over to Whole Foods to return them. 00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:36.480 Um, because we're talking Amazon stuff, right? 00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:41.120 And uh you can't leave it there because there's not enough room. 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:44.879 But when you got room, you can leave things everywhere. 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:49.440 And then there's that household promise you make yourself to yourself. 00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:51.440 I'm going to declutter this weekend. 00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:53.919 Not a drawer, not a shelf, the entire house. 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:57.360 We announce it as if it is a declaration. 00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:03.600 Then we open one box, we find a photograph, we're sitting on the ground, and we start going through the photographs. 00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:08.159 The next thing you know, it's three hours later and we

haven't done anything, but we got a mess of photographs around us. 00:15:08.320 --> 00:15:09.440 Sound familiar? 00:15:10.159 --> 00:15:11.519 But it does. 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:12.799 Oh. 00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:16.080 Decluttering has become a reunion. 00:15:16.159 --> 00:15:18.639 And frankly, the reunion is going very well. 00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:19.679 Honestly. 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:20.559 But you know what? 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:22.480 I'm gonna tell you something about that. 00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:25.039 I think there is something very cathartic. 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:28.159 Even if you don't, I now I'm a declutterer, you all know this. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:30.399 I live the decluttering life. 00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:33.519 Sorry, I needed a sip there. 00:15:33.679 --> 00:15:41.840 Um, I don't believe in clutter, so I am a declutterer, but I have many a times found myself seated going through things, and I think it's cathartic. 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:49.200 So if you never got it decluttered, but you feel really good about going through all that and shoving it back in a box, take that as a win. 00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:54.159 Now there's the things the phone has heard before. 00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:58.480 And this is, I'll answer that text in a minute. 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:01.200 You read the message, you compose a thoughtful reply in your head. 00:16:01.360 --> 00:16:02.399 Such a lovely reply. 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:06.960 It's warm, it's clear, it's appropriately punctuated. 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:17.360 Then you go do something else, satisfied with the quality of your conversation that has taken place only inside your head three days later to discover the message again and think, didn't I answer this? 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:19.919 Well, emotionally, yes, technologically, no. 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:21.200 Have you ever done that? 00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:22.720 I'm gonna raise my hand. 00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:25.200 I've done it multitudes of times. 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:28.720 The other person, for God's sakes, is waiting for a response. 00:16:28.879 --> 00:16:30.960 And I've given one just in my head. 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:33.519 Then we say, I'm just going to check the weather. 00:16:33.679 --> 00:16:34.480 That's innocent. 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:37.360 The next thing, I'm watching a family of raccoons. 00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:40.320 I uh doing what? 00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:40.960 I don't know. 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:44.080 And a dog with the cutest little boots on in his rain hat. 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:47.120 All I wanted to do was check the weather. 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:53.279 Next thing, I am down a rabbit hole on my phone. 00:16:54.320 --> 00:16:56.720 Twenty minutes later, someone could ask me, is it going to rain? 00:16:56.799 --> 00:16:58.240 I'm gonna go, I don't know. 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:04.160 I'm in the woods with John Smith and his axe watching him split logs. 00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:06.000 I don't have any clue what the weather is. 00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:07.359 Well, I thought you were looking it up. 00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:10.720 Well that ship sailed. 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:19.359 I don't know about you, but I can fall down the rabbit hole of my phone faster than Alice fell down her hole. 00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:21.200 Ugh. 00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:25.920 But am I mad at it? 00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:26.480 No. 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:27.839 Do I love my life? 00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:28.240 Yes. 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:32.240 Do I love that family of raccoons in the woods that have the cutest little hats on? 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:33.359 Yes, I do. 00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:39.119 The rabbit that has a family and all these, there's now all these AI-generated things. 00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:40.400 Love them all. 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:44.880 Not mad at it, but man, sometimes, I'm telling you. 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:46.799 Oh. 00:17:48.559 --> 00:17:51.920 Here's what I like about all these lies that we tell ourselves. 00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:55.039 Underneath most of them is a hopeful person. 00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:59.279 We think we'll remember, we think we're gonna get organized. 00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:01.519 We think one television episode is fine. 00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:09.200 We think we could look up the weather on our phone without following a band of gypsies through the woods. 00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:10.480 I don't know. 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:16.000 I'd like to keep the hope and improve the instructions. 00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:21.759 Instead of, I'll do the whole house, maybe just declutter one shelf. 00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:25.119 Today, I'm decluttering the bottom shelf of my bathroom. 00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.000 That's it. 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:28.079 That's what I'm doing today. 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:37.119 And instead of saying I won't buy anything, say I'm allowed toothpaste and one tiny pumpkin. 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:41.279 But the pumpkin cannot have a friend. 00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:46.559 Instead of, I'll remember where this is, perhaps take a picture of where you put it. 00:18:46.799 --> 00:18:48.079 Isn't that a great one? 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:52.160 If you have thanked me for nothing in this episode, you're gonna thank me for that. 00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:56.480 When you hide those Christmas presents, take a picture of where you put them. 00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:02.480 Take a picture of where you park your car. 00:19:02.720 --> 00:19:05.680 Use your camera like your own little memory. 00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:10.400 We don't have to become efficient machines. 00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:13.279 I don't want that kind of pressure, and neither do you. 00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:19.759 I just want a few conversations with myself that end in, well, where would I have put that? 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:21.279 You put it there, Marcy. 00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:22.960 Remember you took a picture? 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:24.319 Yeah. 00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:27.759 So here's the question again. 00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:34.720 What's something you tell yourself all the time, even though you know perfectly well it isn't true? 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:38.640 Oh, and I, you know, I here's a couple more. 00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:39.440 Food. 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:41.920 I'll just have one bite of that cake. 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:42.319 Yeah. 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:45.839 I just fork it to death until the cake is gone. 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:52.960 Sometimes I'll finish something going, I might as well just finish it now because I know I'm gonna eventually finish it. 00:19:53.599 --> 00:19:54.000 Right? 00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:56.240 I don't want to tell myself that lie. 00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:01.519 Ugh, we're just gonna keep lying to ourselves, aren't we? 00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:10.000 And you know, let's protect everybody's secret except for the location of the good scissors. 00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:13.440 Never gonna tell anybody where my good scissors are. 00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:15.119 Craig doesn't know. 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:16.720 He's never gonna know. 00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:19.599 I never told the kids where my good scissors were. 00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:24.640 I had plenty of scissors in the house that they didn't need to find my good scissors. 00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:27.839 Thank you for spending a little time with me inside my mind. 00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:29.759 I know it can be a scary place. 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:36.400 But if this sounds suspiciously familiar, share it with the person that says, we won't be in the store long. 00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:39.519 Let them listen before you hand them the cart. 00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:40.720 I'm Marcy. 00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:42.240 Until next time, take care of yourself. 00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:44.640 Enjoy the ordinary ridiculousness. 00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:50.960 And if you say you'll remember something, give yourself a finding chance, write it down or take a picture. 00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:54.319 And then don't put that somewhere safe. 00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:55.599 Love you all. 00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:56.799 Talk to you soon.