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Welcome to Intro Minds with Laura and Ali, a spike for life, loss, and laughter.
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We're here for the conversations that matter, the ones that hurt, the ones that heal, and the ones that make you laugh until you're fighting.
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Nothing is off limits because that's what the beauty of being human baby is.
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It's just two friends in your ears here to remind you that you're not alone and we're all more connected than we think.
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Just a quick note before we start.
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Some of the conversations we have may be triggering.
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If at any point you feel uncomfortable, it's okay to record, step away or reach out for support.
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You'll find more guidance and helpful links in the show notes.
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Oh yeah, we've been recording five seconds.
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Oh, hi everyone, how are you?
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You have we have hit record in a very real life moment.
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Laura has just been notified that she needs to send money for her son whilst he's at school so he can have lunch today.
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Um so she's just doing that whilst I'm gonna pull a card and see what our topic of conversation on today's uh episode should be.
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So I'm actually gonna set it with the intention that this is a card for our community and it's gonna lead to a conversation that somebody or all of you need to hear right now.
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So I'm actually using my Sea Soul Journey Oracle cards, they're absolutely beautiful.
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If you are watching this, although we're not quite on YouTube yet, it's the Sea Soul Journey Oracle cards at the best.
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So we'll uh provide a link for that in the show notes if we remember.
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And I haven't got a jumper yet, so I am waiting for a jumper.
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Oh, I thought you meant an actual jumper, like you were what you called and you're just waiting for someone to bring you a jumper.
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Reflect.
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We've said that's yeah, and I guess because this is us coming back together, recording some new episodes, Laura.
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We've done a lot of reflecting today.
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But so the first part is reflect, may you discern and distill.
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So I'm gonna ask you, Laura.
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It's really easy to say to someone, oh, you need to reflect on that.
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As a coach, I actually encourage all my coaches within a coaching session and after a coaching session to do an element of reflection.
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But what are other tools you use in
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your everyday life that you could like quite very tangible tools, if you like, that you could hand to someone that's listening right now to actually help them in that process of reflection?
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Um one is to s to pause before you allow your brain to put a certain narrative on whatever has happened.
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So, for instance, so and so has just been so angry at me.
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Why the hell have they just behaved like that?
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Hold on a minute, like reflect.
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Is the way that you showed up to that conversation the was it the right way?
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Are they having a funny day?
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Like, I just pause more before I go off on a tangent of like, this is terrible.
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Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening.
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I just like give myself a bit of a pause.
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And one of my Reiki sound healing clients this week has said, Oh, I really loved the session and I felt so good after.
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And I'm like, what does that mean?
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What does feeling so good after mean to you?
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Like go deeper.
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Like, what do you mean it feels good?
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Does it feel good in your body?
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Do you feel lighter?
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Because when you don't feel like that, I want you to come back to this feeling, and it's important to know your body and how you're feeling within yourself.
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What is a feeling of freedom to you?
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What is that feeling of feeling good, of feeling at peace, of feeling balance?
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Because we all hear those buzzwords, don't we?
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Like, you need balance, you need peace.
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Well, what does my balance and peace is different to yours?
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So what does that your version you know it blew my mind when I do that when I became a children well-being practitioner a few years ago, which I don't I don't actively use, and but I actually did it more to help me understand my role as a mum, if I'm honest, and to help me with that following my my breakdown in 2019 when I just felt like I needed some support.
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Emily just led me to become a practitioner.
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But one of the things that blew my mind that I couldn't believe at that time was what happiness feels like to me is different to how it feels to my kids.
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What sadness looks and feels like to me is different for my kids.
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So I might be looking at them thinking they're sad because that's how I would react in that moment.
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But actually, they might look what I think sad looks like, but actually they're angry or they're frustrated.
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And so then when I try and help them when I think they're sad, and then they act annoyed with me, it's because I've actually gone in to deal with someone that's sad, not someone that's frustrated, and gone in incorrectly.
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Does that make sense?
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Um so that you just saying that then has just made me really, you know, it's true.
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Like when you are having a feeling and you're saying, Well, that's no feel really calm.
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What is that feeling?
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And reflect on it, and I always say bank it so you can come back to it.
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So one of the one of the tools that I use, and this is a really good way of banking it, by the way, is journaling.
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So reflection, journaling is such a good way to reflect and allows your brain to process as well.
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You know, there's there's so many health benefits to journaling, but just writing down words or even doodling expressing is another way of reflection.
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Do you think that you can uh do you think there's a danger of when we're talking about reflecting is going too much into our heads and making things into a big thing?
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Like I feel like that may be the danger that some people may come across.
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Well, there's a difference between analysing and reflecting.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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And to me, analysing is probably more logical.
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It looking at the detail and making maybe even judgment on the detail.
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Trying to get to the data, trying to understand it.
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Whereas reflecting is allowing your thoughts to process and allowing yourself to feel, maybe reflecting is yourself, analyzing, then bringing other elements into what reflecting might be.
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And I do think some people find when the word journaling, we think, because I've come I've spoken to a few clients recently where they're like, I don't even know where to start with journaling.
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I just I just won't do it because I just don't even know.
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And so I did an autumn equinox thing with two lovely ladies that have been to some Masanbass before.
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And I was thinking of starting some sort of quarterly get-togethers, and I was saying to them, you know, whatever's come up from that session, maybe that's what we journal on.
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And so to have those quarterly check-ins in between that, think about what's come up for you then, and a lot of it is your
awareness.
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Like, I don't think that we're we allow ourselves to be aware of what has come up for us and what we are thinking and what we do need to work on because we're so busy, just do, do, do, do, do.
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So just pause.
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It's like allowing yourself to stop.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Pause.
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Just reflect.
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And I always say rejouring because it comes up for me a lot, and it did, especially in my moon circles, because I encourage journeying with the moon phases.
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And it's like and I gave them prompts.
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I'd say these are the questions to be asking yourself now.
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But the question to ask yourself is, how am I feeling right now?
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Yeah, yeah.
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And it might be that you just write down sad, and then it's like, Why am I sad?
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Um sad because it's just been a bit of a you know, I've seen something sad in the news, or I lost a parent a few years ago and it's come up to me today.
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And what does that lead to?
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Oh, I wish I could write a letter to, I wish I could speak to my mum right now.
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Write the letter to your mum.
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Write the letter, you know.
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Um and it just it just leads you, it's I think as well, people think with journaling, I don't know if it's the word, it's just writing, it's just expressing it, it's just processing, and it's you're not writing it for anyone else but yourself.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Although that is the best way to write a book, by the way.
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Write the book that you wish you that you want to read.
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Also, that's you're worried you're too worried about what other people, well, what other what are other people writing about and what does it need to go somewhere?
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No, actually, it doesn't need to go anywhere.
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It can just be like you just said, how are you feeling and unpicking that?
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You'd be surprised, I think, at what you can write when when you just let yourself flow and put your pen to the paper.
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Like, I don't have a plan what I'm writing, I just feel like I need to write, so I write.
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Another good way to reflect.
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I'm not gonna go into all the coaching possibles or anything like that today.
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O'Brien can't go with that.
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But another great way of obviously reflecting is just uh back and forth communicate, talk to some people.
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Yeah, you know, have a conversation.
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But if you can't connect with somebody and have that kind of conversation, whether it's a coach, a mentor, a friend, a family member, is um voice notes to yourself.
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Yeah, I've said just record, yeah.
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If they don't feel like just record, then listen back.
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If they're too worried about like either having the time or or they just don't feel like they can right, I've said that to somebody.
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Maybe do a voice note to yourself while you're on a walk or something.
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Um but I do think talking's great.
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And after we did the first two episodes this morning, and I've just gone to let this little bloody monkey out.
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I was thinking, I need this.
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I just need this, like I need these conversations, I need this time to reflect.
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Rob's like the opposite.
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Rob can't do anything worse than talking unnecessarily.
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Whereas I need to talk about things to understand and process and move forward and to feel heard and seen and like I'm not the only one.
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I'm the unnecessary at all.
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That should be my new that should be my brand and the unnecessary, the unnecessary can't even say it though, so that won't be about it's it's again you saying about pausing and you know, going back to our earlier, earlier recordings, our earlier episodes, recently something came up.
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I found out something there where someone has very highly likely being very dishonest.
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And in that moment, I saw them, like within half an hour of finding out this information, I had to be in the space as them.
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And I was so angry, but I didn't know what to do with my anger because I knew I couldn't in that moment, because it was one in front of my kids as well, let that anger out.
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I couldn't, had to hold on to it, and it was really hard.
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It was really, it was oiling inside of me.
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I could feel it building.
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And I thought, don't react, you don't react, you don't react.
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And the big thing for me that's come through a lot of my healing is try not to react to things, try to respond to things.
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And it's the reflect tool that really helps me do that because what I do is I get that anger, da da da, and I walk away and I go, why are you feeling so angry?
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Well, actually, it's really unjust.
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You've got every right to feel angry right now, you're allowed to feel like this, but reacting isn't only gonna it's only gonna make them more smug.
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It's not gonna help you, it's definitely not gonna be good for the kids.
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So breathe walk away and reflect before you respond.
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And one of the ways I did that was to actually voice note one of my friends and just let it out, and I kind of let the anger out.
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Don't know that, I'm really frustrated.
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And her response back was don't do anything.
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I even spoke to my dad, don't do anything.
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Stop, pause, reflect on this over the next couple of days and then decide what you're gonna do next.
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And don't react to this, make sure you're responding to this.
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And the reflect hall is the thing, is if you can be in that moment of anger and just think, I'm not gonna react, I'm gonna respond, I need to reflect for three hours.
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Yeah, we're not gonna react, we're not gonna react, we are gonna reflect, and then we can respond and try and live with that.
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I was able to do it in what was one of my angriest moments in the last three years, and it has absolutely benefited me in so many ways.
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I think that's what we were talking about on the other episodes of just about thinking about the bigger picture, and actually, there's never a good time to like do anything from a place of like a lot of emotion, whatever that emotion might be.
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So it's so important to just sit with it for a minute and just think about okay, so if you were to do X, what is that gonna achieve right now?
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And who is that gonna impact?
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And actually, about yourself, like, is that gonna help you right now?
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Is it gonna help you?
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No, and I'll and it's a bit like if something happens to you and you feel like you've been hard done by and you post something on social media and it's like about someone, but you haven't said it.
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It's like then you just get this feeling of like, is someone gonna comment on it?
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Am I gonna get some backlash?
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And you've caused yourself some more anxiety for what for what exactly because is that person ever gonna be within your small circle of friends?
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Is that person ever gonna understand you?
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Are they ever gonna listen to you?
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Are they ever gonna see it from your perspective?
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And if the answer's no, then don't do anything and just think about that.
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Exactly.
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I just thought the amount of times I've had conversations in my head thinking one day they're gonna get it, one day they're gonna understand it.
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And it's funny enough hopping on about it a bit, I've probably, but somewhat I actually said to somebody, I actually think if my I think I said this on season two at some point, I think if my ex met me now and after the work that I'd done, the healing I'd done, I think he'd be quite like to live with me again.
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Because of the things that he said he didn't like about me, I've changed.
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And they actually said he'll never make it.
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No, no, no, because he'll never heal.
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They said, You you you've done the work, Ellie, you're doing the work, and you can see the change in you.
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But he will, and they're they're they're you know, they're like a mutual, they're not like someone from my my side of the uh the fence, if you like.
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And they said, He's just an angry man, and he's just not gonna heal, he's just never gonna like you.
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And I was like, and that's a real shame to the kids and everything, but we're all on different changes.
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Yeah, we're controlling and this is our we get so hung up on things that we cannot control, people, especially outside of past.
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And the thing is, I've had so many conversations in my head when we'll get to that point, and I'm like, nah, just you've gotta let it go.
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You've got to get it like you can't prove to him that you're not the horrible person that he thinks you are.
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Because I know I'm not there, I know I've done a lot of reflecting on that and a lot of work on that.
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Right, are you putting a part you've got?
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Take divinely guided change.
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Oh, I've paused.
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I've paused or gone very frozen.
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Low camera frame rate detected.
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Don't know what that means.
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Might not be able to keep it.
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Right, I'll read it out anyway, because no one can see us anyway, they're just listening to us.
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All positive change and successful ventures involve a degree of risk, and you are ready to follow your divine guidance to new territories.
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As you leave behind that which is comfortable and familiar but no longer appropriate for you, you make room for new and more meaningful opportunities.
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This card encourages you to move forward with your inner guidance.
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Even if you presently can't foresee how it will all work out, when you take a chance with the guidance that you are receiving, your actions are saying that you trust God and the angels.
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Placing our very it's very woo this morning.
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Placing our trust in the divine makes good sense, since heaven can see our actions from a 360 degree perspective that we often lack.
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God and the angels can see the repercussions of our actions echoing out into infinity, whereas we are lucky to be able to accurately predict the ripple effect through the next day.
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Very few monumental and important tasks have been achieved by people who did not take some sort of risk.
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We know that it can be intimidating, but trust that you are being led towards a positive and abundant future.
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God and the angels are with you every step of the way, ensuring that you will only receive what which is for your highest good.
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The angels of abundance are not encouraging you to take needless risks or to behave recklessly, however oh however.
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Ensure that you are following your divine guidance, not some ego-based desire.
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Greed, anger, and lust are not the emotions of the angels, and they will never guide you with those feelings.
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True non-ego-based guidance comes in the form of love, inspiration, and giving.
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You can ensure that's doing so.
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It can be that if you are receiving guidance that does not come from a place of deep and powerful love, it is not true guidance, and you should not follow it.
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You can always ask God to help you to know if your guidance is true or not, and you will receive clear signs to see you out.
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Woo is a woo, is that it is really about take the risk, trust the process, and as long as you're doing it with love and you're doing it heart-led and for the right reasons, it will work out in the way that you really want it to.
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Yeah, and think of it as your gust and your intuition if you're not a spiritual person.
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Think of it as like your true guidance.
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Your guidance would never tell you to do things that didn't seem right.
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You know, you within you you were like, I don't know, that's not doesn't seem right, or if it was going to be hurting other people or hurting yourself, they would never do that.
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So just think about where that's coming from.
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And I think we can either do things through our ego or through our true selves with our gut and uh, you know.
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So yeah, that was very woo, but I like these cards.
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It's one of the first pack of cards I've ever had.
00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:34.240
And I what are they?
00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:37.680
They're called angels and abundance oracle cards.
00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:43.920
And I actually I don't know whether I think you do know this, but I did an angel rave key cogs, angelic rave key.
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:47.039
Um many, many, many years ago.
00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:53.519
And that was my first real like insight into anything spiritual.
00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:59.920
So I got these cards, and then she gave me a card of bloody hell.
00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:03.759
She gave me she gave me these cards that I've got here.
00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:07.519
I think there's one more that are inside, and I've kept them ever since.
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:11.279
Like she gave me them, and the first one was blossoming.
00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:16.160
You are just getting started, so have patience with yourself and the process and do not give up.
00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:17.759
It's a really pretty picture.
00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:23.839
Oh shine, and then she and then I've got this other little card, and it says, Surrender.
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:26.319
Whatever you resist in life persists.
00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:36.799
Ask your angels to help you dissolve all the resistance of your ego, the inner conflict and the struggle, the rigid mindsets and the habits, so that they can flood your life with higher truth and joy.
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:43.039
When you surrender to the guidance of your higher self, all the energy you have been using in resistance becomes available to you.
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:48.640
Vitality, inner peace, harmony, and most of all love are your spiritual rewards.
00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:56.400
So flow with the pace of life, relax and tune in, then follow the guidance of your intuition, knowing that the angels will support you at any time.
00:19:56.559 --> 00:20:04.640
And it's a little bit like what we were saying about your ego, so you don't have to think it in spiritual terms, but you can think about as ego and your gut.
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:10.480
I think that those are the two ways that you would think about it if it wasn't in a spiritual way.
00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:24.799
Yeah, but it's it is all about divine timing to me, and everything does come in at the right time, and you do get the signs, and if it feels right and it's not hurting anyone else, go for it.
00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:29.359
And if it does feel scary, but it's not gonna hurt anyone else, go for it.
00:20:29.519 --> 00:20:37.440
And if you get those getting those butterflies and you're getting the nerves and you make you feel a bit sick, go for it as long as it's not hurting anyone else.
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:51.519
Like spread your wings in my company at the moment, we're going through a lot of change, so much change, loads of transformations,
and people are walking out the door, unfortunately, because their jobs are no longer, you know, exist really in the new structure and things.
00:20:52.000 --> 00:21:02.720
And I've worked with a couple of my coaches that are going through this process, and I've just said you can you've got to, you know, you might be angry and frustrated to begin with.
00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:07.519
That's completely normal, and it's really scary because you don't necessarily know what your future looks like.
00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:19.200
But let's let's look at the opportunity here, look at where this can take you, look how exciting this can be, and really start to feel in your body what different opportunities actually feel like.
00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:28.880
And if they feel good and can kind of get you excited, go for them, reach out to them, you know, take the risks, go and travel if you can for a bit.
00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:40.319
Or uh, you know, put the money toward because redundancy and stuff, put the money towards a deposit for a new home, and then go and get yourself a new opportunity doing something you really want to do.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:44.079
And what have you just think just trust the process?
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:51.200
This is happening for you, and you can sit with it, be really scared, and not take the opportunity, or you can jump right in.
00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:57.599
And I know that's easier said than done, especially when you've got late responsibilities and you're risking losing your job and your income.
00:21:58.240 --> 00:21:59.759
But how you approach it.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:03.279
It and how much you trust in it will depend on the other.
00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:05.279
And isn't this another way of seeing reflection?
00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:13.839
Because I feel like your out your inner thoughts and the way that you are speaking to yourself, the way you're speaking about life reflect back to you.
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:14.640
Absolutely.
00:22:15.759 --> 00:22:21.200
Lack of lack of no, I've got no, I've got nothing, I've got none, I've got this, this has changed, this is shit.
00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:26.960
That is exactly what you're gonna find to evidence of what I'm reflecting right back at you.
00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:29.759
So it's just about changing your perspective.
00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:38.240
It's so funny because I've got this random Yasmin Boland card on my desk, and these cards are in the house, but this one's on its own, and it's this one.
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:41.759
I don't know.
00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:48.240
And you said look at the bigger picture.
00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:49.759
Absolutely.
00:22:50.319 --> 00:23:04.160
Look at those cards as a little as a little, you know, if you were to read those cards as a three from three different packs, they're basically saying to you, reflect, trust the process and take the risk.
00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:05.680
Look at the bigger picture.
00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:11.920
Those three work so beautifully together, and they're from three different packs that they're effectively telling us all the same thing.
00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:17.519
And if we're talking about reflection and a good tool, cards are a great tool.
00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:27.839
Cards are a really good tool to if you're not sure what to journal on or even reflect on, read a card and think about what that means for you in your life now.
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:37.200
And I was saying to somebody the other day, because they've not used cards before, I was saying it's such a great tool to start with, and it's a little bit like some people will go, Oh, you've read your horoscope.
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:39.039
Well, yeah, of course, you're just reading into it.
00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:40.319
Okay, yeah, great.
00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:42.000
Well, that's nice for me, isn't it?
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:43.279
Because I feel good about it.
00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:45.839
You know, it's saying I'm gonna win the lottery, yeah, girls.
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:54.559
But what I mean is like you'll see the the positives, and it's just another way of changing your thought process and making you reflect differently.
00:23:54.799 --> 00:23:56.880
Um she's bloody biting that, yeah.
00:23:57.359 --> 00:23:59.039
But that's probably a lovely way to end, isn't it?
00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:02.079
And I've only got I've only got nine toes left.
00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:21.839
Well, let's put it you need to reflect on why you took the risk of getting a pepe when you've got a two-year-old child and a business and a job and two of the children, and and dun dun dun dun and you go and reflect on that one.
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:23.440
Look at the bigger picture.
00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:25.599
I don't know the answer now.
00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:28.960
I'm gonna have to do much more reflecting into the night.
00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:31.359
Oh, that's hilarious.
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:31.920
Right.
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:33.839
Well, love to catching it with you.
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:47.119
I hope if you've been listening to this episode, that it has helped you think about where you need to reflect in life, where you might need to look at the bigger picture, and what we will always say is though, and it's worked for me and Laura is trusting.
00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:47.839
Yes.
00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:50.559
And on that note, should we say goodbye?
00:24:50.799 --> 00:24:51.680
Love you lots.
00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:53.039
Love you live.
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:59.119
That's it for today's episode of In Two Minds, where life, loss, and laughter all have their place.
00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:01.200
Thanks for joining us on the journey.
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:07.519
If something here inspired you, made you think, or simply made you smile, then share it with someone who might need it.
00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:14.160
Until next time, take care, stay connected, and remember it's okay to be in two minds.
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:21.839
Before you go, just a reminder if anything we talked about in today's episode has affected you, support is available.
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:25.920
Please check the show notes for resources and ways to reach out.