Bản chép lời đầy đủ của What To Do When Disability Parenting Feels Overwhelming: Faith-Based Tools to Reduce Stress and Anxiety with Kristin Faith Evans

in the present moment, taking full deep breaths and just being grounded in who we are and in our God. 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:45.199 And I actually, we were talking about this uh before we came on. 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:50.240 I I will actually be like, I am so stressed, I have anxiety, why? 00:05:50.480 --> 00:06:00.079 And then I will do one of the exercises where I, you know, physically release that stress and anxiety to God, and so I need this book. 00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:09.040 Reading through it, one of the things that really stuck out to me was what you just mentioned about breathing. 00:06:09.759 --> 00:06:14.560 And you talked about it, and I think I've talked about this previously on the podcast. 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:19.759 How many times in a day that I catch myself holding my breath? 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:24.639 Why is breathing so important in the middle of stress? 00:06:25.759 --> 00:06:30.240 I will try to not let my research nerdy person come out, but we do. 00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:34.319 We don't bring, I will try to tone it down. 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:40.399 Um, this is like 75 professional journal studies, and then I'm gonna like boil down. 00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:44.879 So we don't breathe properly, especially when we're stressed. 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:49.199 Our brains are in this loop, caught in the fight or flight. 00:06:49.279 --> 00:06:52.000 That's the easiest, the sympathetic nervous system. 00:06:52.240 --> 00:07:06.240 And when we breathe shallow and faster with our chest, we're literally not getting full oxygen, which makes it hard to concentrate, make decisions. 00:07:06.480 --> 00:07:21.279 It keeps it keeps us in the sloop of using the parts of our brain, like the amygdala, that keep telling our brain and body there's a threat, we need to be stressed, which has all sorts of long-term and short-term effects. 00:07:21.600 --> 00:08:04.000 And so the goal is to, we can hack our nervous system, the goal is to actually take diaphragmatic breaths from our belly, and when we do that, we're able to open up our lungs, get full 100% oxygen intake, which calms our body, triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, and we start to use our frontal lobe, and it calms the fear and emotional anxiety center of the body, and we're able to fully be present and respond to our children calmly. 00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:06.160 It's just fascinating. 00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:07.040 Yeah. 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:15.759 So I think what I hear you saying is when we're stressed and not breathing, the part of our brain that is triggering is that fight or flight. 00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:20.319 So we're just gonna continue on this loop of stress, stress, stress, stress, stress. 00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:32.559 Your frontal lobe is what, from the stuff I've read, is what's gonna help you think logically instead of just reacting in emotion and anger, fear, all of those things. 00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:40.320 And so when we're actually doing this deep breathing, it's gonna calm down that amygdala and allow our frontal lobe to engage. 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:47.840 It's funny, just as you were talking, I could feel myself like just trying to breathe, you know, a little bit different. 00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:55.679 So, I mean, listener, I just want you to just stop right now and just allow your diaphragm to fill. 00:08:55.759 --> 00:08:59.679 And I sometimes don't even feel like I do it very well. 00:08:59.919 --> 00:09:01.759 Could you show us how to do it? 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:06.399 And we're gonna talk about your book, but let's this is such a huge part of this. 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:08.399 So show us how to do this. 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:15.039 It is the basic, and people are like, oh, take deep breaths, and it's become a cliche, right? 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:26.559 But it is actually it's just critical, and actually the center of the book when I lead moms through it, explain usually a breath prayer. 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:52.320 You know, God gives us our breath, yes, um, and he wants us to fully breathe in his peace, in his breath of life, we have to, you know, just sit sit with a good posture, and it is the opposite of what we do, so it feels weird because we don't breathe properly, and you can't go around breathing um like this all day. 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:58.399 But the more we get in the habit, the more we'll do it, yeah, and the easier it'll become. 00:09:58.720 --> 00:10:01.679 So place a hand on your belly. 00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:09.519 I will just preface this with it will feel funny and unnatural because we don't do this often. 00:10:09.759 --> 00:10:21.440 So place a hand on your belly button, and we're gonna imagine that there's a balloon in our abdomen, and when we inhale, it's going to inflate. 00:10:21.519 --> 00:10:27.200 So you should feel your belly expand, and then when we exhale, the balloon's going to deflate. 00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:42.480 So you should kind of feel your body um deflating, and we're gonna breathe through our nose for three seconds slowly, and then we're gonna exhale through our mouth with pursed lips, like we're slowly blowing bubbles up. 00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:43.440 Okay, okay. 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:47.360 So place your hand on your belly, and I'm gonna walk you through it. 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:59.840 So slowly inhale through your nose, feel that balloon inflating, and then exhale through your mouth. 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:09.279 Feel that balloon in your belly inflating. 00:11:10.720 --> 00:11:12.720 And that was so good. 00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:18.960 And I know from reading your book that we can do a breath prayer with that. 00:11:19.360 --> 00:11:28.480 What's an example of a breath prayer that we can pray while we're pausing to breathe in and then breathe out in those three seconds kind of in and out? 00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:48.639 So it's usually based on a verse of scripture, and so my favorite um to teach this is when we inhale, we're

gonna inhale the breath of the Almighty, and then we exhibit, gives me life. 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:53.600 Yeah, yeah, I love that. 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:58.639 I often think about that song, it's your breath in my lungs. 00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:02.960 So we pour out our praise, we pour out our praise. 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:04.559 I think about that a lot. 00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:10.080 Just it that's a song that has just been special to me when I've had certain times of stress. 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:17.840 Um, let everything that is within me that has breath praise the Lord, and just how He gives us our breath in our lungs. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:28.559 So, listener, if you didn't get a chance to do that, go back, listen, and do that that breathing exercise with Kristen and pray that breath prayer that she talked about. 00:12:28.639 --> 00:12:33.519 And you can rewind that on the audio or or catch the video in the YouTube. 00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:43.759 So, so I guess let's just talk about what are some of the reasons that us as parents and especially disability parents are so stressed today. 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:45.759 What's contributing to all of that? 00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:52.159 Yeah, so technology is a big piece, we're constantly on call. 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:59.039 So if you think about somebody text me or a doctor calls, and you have to answer that call. 00:13:00.159 --> 00:13:05.120 The expectation is that we respond quickly or immediately. 00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:10.399 And when we don't, it's like, okay, why didn't this person email me back or text me back? 00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:13.120 So that's one of the reasons we're on call. 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:24.559 The other piece of technology is being on our phones, especially social media and looking at the news. 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:29.919 There is a direct correlation with increasing anxiety and stress. 00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:30.559 Yeah. 00:13:30.879 --> 00:13:45.600 And and then you've got that our our children are on their devices, and then what happens is we aren't able to one be mindful ourselves, and so we're not in our bodies, we're not deep breathing. 00:13:45.840 --> 00:14:18.320 Two, we're not able to be fully mindful with our children and our spouses, and and then that increases the stress because if we're not being fully mindful, we're not seeing what happened right before our child got upset or had a problem, and it just creates this whole environment and neurological situation that's actually rewiring our brains and causing our bodies to stay in this chronic I'm on call state. 00:14:19.360 --> 00:14:19.600 Yeah. 00:14:19.919 --> 00:14:22.159 So that's one of the biggest reasons. 00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:31.919 Yeah, it's so interesting to meet just the timing of our interview today, because I have another interview this afternoon with Dr. 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:44.240 Nicole Wilkie, who is from the Children Alliance for Orphans, and she just had a book come out about

how technology is playing a role in children who are at risk. 00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:54.639 And our children, all of them, whether they are neurotypical or not, are at risk in this area. 00:14:55.039 --> 00:14:57.679 And I find it so interesting. 00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:13.600 Like there's so many studies that talk about even now when you have your phone in the room, might not even be on, but it's in the room, you are like aware that you have to respond all the time. 00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:20.639 And just yeah, I mean, it's just I I know there's so much research coming out that we just can't even keep up with it. 00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:26.879 But one of the things that you said, I think that impacted me is that I know. 00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:38.080 So uh back in September on the podcast, they did a whole series on caring for the caregiver, and I had several counselors on, and they were talking about uh regulation, right? 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:45.039 Like we need to be able to self-regulate, but a lot of times, right, we're helping our children regulate. 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:54.320 And then technology is brought into that, and when we're distracted, we're not able to help them regulate. 00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:59.200 I know one of the stories you shared in your book was about you helping your daughter put her shoes on. 00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:10.879 Can you share that story and maybe just some thoughts about what I was just talking about with the regulation piece and us not being present to do that with our kids or even with ourselves, honestly? 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:11.840 Yeah. 00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:12.639 Yeah. 00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:15.919 So the the setting is it was a Sunday morning. 00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:17.120 It's hard enough. 00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:21.440 This was a couple of years ago when Bethany Grace was even younger. 00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:26.960 Um, and you know, she needs full assistance with getting dressed, putting her shoes on. 00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:32.960 And I was already in my mind, oh, we're late again, and you know, what are people gonna think? 00:16:33.200 --> 00:16:35.200 And I should have gotten up earlier. 00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:44.399 So that guilt and that already my mind is concocting these scenarios of what people are gonna think, and so my anxiety is building. 00:16:44.559 --> 00:16:48.320 Anytime our minds are in the future, it increases anxiety. 00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:52.639 So here I am trying to get Bethany Grace to cooperate. 00:16:52.799 --> 00:17:03.360 I put her shoe on and she just looks at me like no, you know, she couldn't really say no, but and then she kicks it off. 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:12.400 And so we're in this battle, and the more I get stressed, the more she's starting to really get dysregulated, melt down, and we were in this fight. 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:15.279 I'm like, okay, I'm we're just never gonna make it. 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:21.119 And so then I just paused, I took a deep breath, I pulled my mind back to the present moment. 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:39.519 I looked at her, I thought about what is happening in me, and I even picked up the shoe, and so coming back to that present moment, I realized I haven't connected with Bethany Grace, I haven't wondered, okay, what's going on with her? 00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:41.680 Is she just tired? 00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:43.519 Is she not wanting to go to church? 00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:45.599 And just really came back. 00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:52.160 And when I picked up the shoe, something rattled in it, and I stuck my hand in it. 00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:55.440 There's a metal hair clip in the shoe. 00:17:55.839 --> 00:18:04.720 So then, of course, I'm like, oh, bad mom moment, because she couldn't tell me, she couldn't tell me it hurts, yeah. 00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:34.079 Um, and so because I wasn't in the present moment, I hadn't been with her trying to connect, and so I took out the hair clip and I said, I'm sorry, and then we slipped her shoe on, and so it turned into this whole situation because I was not fully present in the moment with my daughter, yeah, and so but back to the regulation. 00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:49.359 The irony is we're trying to help our children regulate, however, we have to first be regulated ourselves because our children feed off of our emotions and our state. 00:18:49.519 --> 00:19:05.839 So if we are anxious, it increases their anxiety, if we are stressed, it actually increases their stress response system, and then when we are able to self-regulate ourselves, it models to them. 00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:12.960 And when we take a deep breath, it's actually a subconscious, a person in the room with you. 00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:20.400 If you take a deep breath, it's kind of a suggestion, and they will actually do it without even thinking about it. 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:25.119 Isn't that amazing how God created our bodies? 00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:29.039 And then just to be in community that way. 00:19:29.759 --> 00:19:33.039 Um that's it's a really cool thing. 00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:35.680 I I'm marveling over here. 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:42.079 One of the things that you said is anytime our mind is in the future, we can you say that again? 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.920 Anytime our mind is in the future, is it increasing our anxiety? 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:59.599 So if if our minds are in the past, a lot of times those negative emotions of regret, you know, reliving trauma, which is a whole nother conversation. 00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:03.599 So we start to feel sad or guilty if we're in the past. 00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:09.279 If our mind is in the future, oftentimes we're worrying, which we have to plan. 00:20:09.440 --> 00:20:11.039 We have to plan for our children. 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:24.559 But at the point it becomes ineffective and there's nothing else we can do right now, then it activates that worry part of our brain, and the anxiety increases in the

future. 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:32.000 That's why returning our focus to the present moment lowers that anxiety. 00:20:32.319 --> 00:20:33.599 Yeah, for sure. 00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:59.599 And I think what one of the things that you mentioned, even just in that moment with Bethany Grace, was that you were concerned about, worried about being late and people, what people were gonna think, which is also just like that kind of living in that land of what if, you know, which doesn't help any of us, you know, you know, and you're right, we do have to think about the future. 00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:07.920 We do have to plan special needs parents more than anybody, we're living in the future quite a bit. 00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:16.880 But how can we, and I think your devotion helps us, how can we just live in the present, not live in the land of what if? 00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:29.680 A lot of that is obviously trusting that God holds the future and that he was with us in the past, he has been present, right, in our trauma, but he's also gonna be present in the future. 00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:32.079 Do you have any further thoughts about that? 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:37.279 Yeah, you know, I just always go back to scripture and how God created us. 00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:40.319 He does not want us to be anxious or worried. 00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:57.359 In fact, so many times throughout the New Testament, we see where Jesus taught us to live in the day, the current day, in the present moment, to not worry about the future, that he holds the future in his hands. 00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:58.480 And it's hard to do. 00:21:58.559 --> 00:21:59.759 I'm not making, I'm not trying. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.759 To make it sound easy, especially for us special needs moms, there's so much. 00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:13.599 However, the more we can return to that center who is Jesus in the present moment. 00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:23.359 So trying not to worry actually increases the power of the anxiety and the worry. 00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:24.799 That's the irony. 00:22:25.119 --> 00:22:36.640 So that's why returning our focus, turning our mind back to the present, we focus on Jesus, which lowers that worry. 00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:38.720 Yeah, yeah, that's so good. 00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:40.000 It's so good. 00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:48.319 So let's dive, I guess, a little bit more into the book and how this devotional differs from other parenting books. 00:22:49.519 --> 00:22:50.880 I love sharing this. 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.079 I was at a mom conference just about a month ago. 00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:59.680 And as I explained it, you know, I could just see them calm while I explained this. 00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:06.160 So this devotional, you know, I share an example which, you know, directly ties in. 00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:08.480 Most of the time, they're kind of funny. 00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:12.000 Like I've spelt coffee on my shirt and I'm stressed from the pickup line. 00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:19.440 And but then, you know, I tie that in very much with the scripture, starting with the scripture. 00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:24.000 There's the peas, pray, ponder, practice, and plan. 00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:28.079 And I'm a very experiential practical person. 00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:29.200 That's my background. 00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:40.880 And so we say that prayer of God, of basically applying, help me internalize the scripture and live this out. 00:23:41.039 --> 00:23:46.400 And then ponder, you know, a couple of reflection questions of how is this in my life? 00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:48.400 And then the practice. 00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:51.759 That's the piece that I'm most excited about. 00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:57.359 So the breath prayer, the deep breathing, that's a couple, you know, there's some breath prayers. 00:23:57.519 --> 00:24:06.720 There's also the best one to explain cast your cares and anxiety on him because he cares for you. 00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:12.400 So a lot of times we're in our heads, we're thinking, okay, God, I give you my anxiety. 00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:19.839 We may even feel it in our emotions, but the physical piece, I feel like, is the unique part. 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:22.559 Each day is a different practice. 00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:28.319 And so as you think about that verse and you reflect on, okay, what am I anxious about? 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:29.920 What am I stressed about? 00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:34.559 We clench our fist as we inhale. 00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:40.960 And as we exhale, God, I release this worry about my child surgery. 00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:44.799 And we may have 20 things we need to release. 00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:58.799 The best part about that is when we tense our muscles and relax them, it actually tells our brains, okay, I can calm down, the threat is gone. 00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:06.400 And we feel the difference between the tense, which is the tension we're feeling our bodies, we don't even realize is there. 00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:19.680 And as we release, it actually physically and neurologically calms, and we actually, as a whole person, holistically, we are physical beings too. 00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:23.279 We release that tension and anxiety to God. 00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:25.839 Yeah, I love that. 00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:53.279 Like, even while you were doing it, I mean, it's hard to see on camera because you can't see my lap, but I was holding that in, and it is amazing just how God designed our bodies with what we need to also release the stress and release the worry, the anxiety, and all of that through, like you said, we do live in our heads so much, but then also how to physically do that in our bodies. 00:25:53.440 --> 00:25:59.440 And so, listener, I'm not sure if you caught it, but there's four parts to each devotional, each day. 00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:03.119 It's pray, ponder, practice, and plan. 00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:11.759 And so there's the there's

the spiritual element, there's the mental element, but then there's also the physical and practical element. 00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:16.160 And I just think it's it's just an amazing resource. 00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:17.200 It really is. 00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:23.279 I am so excited that it is out in the world, Kristen, and that you that you did this. 00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:28.640 I know one of the things that you talk about in the book is Christ-centered mindfulness. 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:31.279 Now we hear that word all over the place. 00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:44.240 So, would you be willing to just kind of talk about the difference between mindfulness and Christ-centered mindfulness and how Christ-centered mindfulness is a benefit for us as disability parents? 00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:49.920 So, especially in the Christian community, you hear the term mindfulness. 00:26:50.079 --> 00:27:00.000 It has become, I don't want to use the word trinity, but it's become very popular because people are realizing the science behind it. 00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:01.519 It is so critical. 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:05.440 But a lot of times Christians will think, oh, Eastern religion. 00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:13.440 Okay, it does come from there, but it actually is a biblical practice. 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:19.119 It became kind of popular in the 13th century with the Jesus prayer. 00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:23.359 Let every breath basically be of Jesus. 00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:29.200 And so that's one way it's been in the Christian faith since Jesus. 00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:29.680 Right. 00:27:29.920 --> 00:27:43.359 So the difference as a Christian and a believer is we are aware of God's presence in the present moment in us around us. 00:27:43.599 --> 00:28:03.920 So being fully present and being mindful and practicing mindfulness, which there's all hundreds of mindfulness practices, but it boils down to being very present with your breath and realizing Christ is with you, Christ is my center in this moment. 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:06.480 Yeah, yeah, it's so good. 00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:12.559 Just made me think of all the times that Jesus went away by himself to pray. 00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:17.279 He was modeling, he was modeling that. 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:20.160 Yeah, just made me think of that. 00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:31.680 So I guess share a little bit more about the devotion and how it's set up, the different sections, and how you really don't have to read it from cover to cover. 00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:33.519 You can kind of pick up in the middle. 00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:35.920 Will you share a little bit about that part of it? 00:28:36.319 --> 00:28:51.680 Yeah, and actually in my note to parents before the devotions, I say, it says 40 days, but really the last thing I want is for you to feel like you have to do one a day or feel guilty because you miss one. 00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:59.119 I love to practice one of the devotions for a whole week, and I encourage parents to do that. 00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:08.079 Let's say, for example, your child's in the hospital, you know, especially for special needs moms and dads. 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:10.079 Let's say your child's in the hospital. 00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:17.039 Pick one of the devotions and just practice that the whole week. 00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:49.839 And so it's set up to really meditate on that scripture, to really look at where you are today in terms of that scripture in your life, and then just practice, practice that prayer, practice that physical releasing of the tension uh in lots of different ways, and then the plan part is actually how you're going to do this several times throughout your day. 00:29:50.079 --> 00:29:52.480 Yeah, yeah, it's so good. 00:29:52.720 --> 00:30:09.039 I I love how you are saying just slow down and make it a practice because so often, maybe just in faith-based circles, we feel like we have to read, you know, we're reading through through the Bible in a year, which I'm doing that right now. 00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:17.039 And I absolutely love it because it's this the season where I'm in, where I get behind, I'm not doing it perfectly. 00:30:17.359 --> 00:30:43.200 But sometimes we have seasons where, you know, if you just read a whole chapter or something, it's just not gonna soak in the way that just focusing on one verse for an entire week, and then you know, asking the Lord to show you new things about it, or maybe look at what God's trying to speak to you about Himself in that scripture, and then doing a breath prayer with it, right? 00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:51.039 To me, that's what God talks about meditating on scripture and how it can just become a part of fabric. 00:30:51.279 --> 00:31:05.119 So when that stress and anxiety and everything is coming up, the chaos is coming in, you know, like you said, being in the hospital, all of a sudden, wait a second, I remember last week that I just spent this whole week on this specific scripture. 00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:14.000 So maybe there's a specific scripture that's in there that is just very meaningful to you that I would just love for you to share that with the listeners. 00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:31.279 Yeah, so one of my favorite days and verses in the book really captures the essence of physically internalizing the scripture and physically learning it and applying it is Psalm 131.2. 00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:37.519 It talks about how my body is soothed like a weaned child. 00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:40.880 My soul within me is like a weaned child. 00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:49.680 And so this day we practice a progressive muscle relaxation exercise through our whole body. 00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:57.200 And this is one of the mindfulness-based stress reduction exercises that's taught a lot. 00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:02.400 It's unique though, because it's prayer throughout. 00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:14.559 God's presence is in our body, and so as we go throughout our body, beginning

with our heads, and then we tense kind of like we did with our fist, releasing anxiety. 00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:58.160 Well, when we scan our bodies, we realize oh, my shoulders do hurt, and oh, I am carrying a lot of weight emotionally and physically in my shoulders, and so when we get to our shoulders, for example, we tense, intense, intense for about five seconds, and then as we exhale and release, God take this heavy weight off my shoulders, I release this burden to you, and as we go throughout our whole body, we physically God heals us and He takes that burden and stress. 00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:01.039 So that is that's probably my favorite day. 00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:02.799 Yeah, that is so good. 00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:03.759 I love that. 00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:15.119 I guess just to kind of wrap up, what are some easy ways, even just right now, that a parent who's listening could reduce their stress and anxiety just where they are? 00:33:16.319 --> 00:33:20.240 I would say this is easier said than done, but simplifying. 00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:23.759 Just simplifying what can I? 00:33:25.359 --> 00:33:28.799 We have our list, especially as special needs parrots. 00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:32.319 When I realized I'm never gonna get everything on there done. 00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:38.240 And if I don't call that one doctor today, okay, that one's not life or death. 00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:43.440 So simplifying what notifications can I turn off on my phone? 00:33:43.599 --> 00:34:00.880 I don't need to get the news notifications, I don't need to get these app notifications, they can wait till later, and I will check social media at a specific time of day, not first thing when I wake up in the morning because that yes, that actually increases our cortisol. 00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:12.159 So I would say simplify to where more and more we get in the habit of just being fully present with ourselves, with God and our child. 00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:14.559 Yeah, yeah, it's so good. 00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:16.000 And it's such a good reminder. 00:34:16.079 --> 00:34:19.599 I know I just full disclosure here, everyone. 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:24.880 I have gotten into such a bad habit of picking up my phone first thing in the morning. 00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:35.440 And one of the things I'm realizing is so I finally went out and I I've always had an alarm clock, just a very, you know, typical like standard alarm clock. 00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:39.599 And I bought one that does like the light that kind of wakes you up gradually. 00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:42.400 And I love that alarm clock. 00:34:42.639 --> 00:34:46.800 And but I still have my phone next to my bed. 00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:51.199 And I think some of it is I don't we don't have a home phone anymore, right? 00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:52.960 A lot of people don't, right? 00:34:53.199 --> 00:35:04.159 We we don't have a landline, and so you think about okay, if there's an emergency in my family, all my family for the most part lives out of state, you know, I'm not gonna not gonna hear about it. 00:35:04.239 --> 00:35:07.519 I'm not gonna, you know, it's not gonna be around. 00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:10.480 But it's actually doing us so much damage. 00:35:11.599 --> 00:35:15.280 And then last week I realized, oh my goodness. 00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:21.280 So first thing I pick up in the morning, I check my phone, then I end up on Facebook, then I'm scrolling. 00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:22.239 Yep, and so I did. 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:28.480 I locked my phone down, and these are the things that are actually deleting us. 00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:33.199 I guess it's not really depriving us of our resiliency, right? 00:35:33.280 --> 00:35:36.400 There it's eating away at our resiliency. 00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:39.119 Do you have any thoughts you want to share about that? 00:35:39.920 --> 00:35:51.119 Yeah, so as I was researching for my next book, one of the things I discovered, I kind of alluded to it, when we pick up our phone, first thing, that cortisol spikes. 00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:53.280 Yeah, and actually our blood sugar too. 00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:56.800 And yes, I like I said, I'm a research nerd. 00:35:57.119 --> 00:36:09.039 And one of the key things I I talk about in this book is replacing, substituting, and maybe have the phone on the table. 00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:13.599 You'll soon hear it in the middle of the night, but it's not where we can reach for it. 00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:17.119 First thing instead, substitute. 00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:22.480 I wake up and I inhale that breath of life. 00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:37.440 Thank you, Lord, for this day, and just first thing centering our minds and our very breath and our day on Christ, as opposed to what someone has said on Facebook. 00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:45.119 Easier said than done, like I said, but if we can get in the habit, it's building habits, really, yeah, is what it's about. 00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:54.159 Yeah, uh, so I I recommend that taking deep breaths first thing and three more times throughout the day. 00:36:54.559 --> 00:37:10.800 And then it's like you said, reading through the Bible is very important, however, in the reality of our days as special needs moms, yeah, those moments three or four times throughout the day, connecting with God in that breath prayer are just as effective. 00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:11.920 Yeah. 00:37:12.239 --> 00:37:16.000 And you know, it seems very doable, right? 00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:21.760 That we're gonna connect with our breath prayer once in the morning, three more times during the day. 00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:24.559 That is very attainable. 00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:29.840 And meditating on you said Psalm 131, verse 2. 00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:38.800 That is just that one scripture I'm gonna spend a whole week on, and and maybe we get to it two days out of the week or three days out of the week. 00:37:39.039 --> 00:37:39.360 Right. 00:37:39.599 --> 00:37:47.679 But still, it's very small things that is gonna build resiliency over time and reduce that anxiety and stress. 00:37:47.920 --> 00:38:00.239 So, Kristen, I will have all the links to everything in the show notes, but where can the listeners find you and find a copy of your newest book, This Devotional, about reducing stress? 00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:06.719 Yeah, so on Instagram, that's the main place, disability parenting. 00:38:07.039 --> 00:38:17.920 I have created a new YouTube channel from Frazzle to Calm where I actually guide you through these breath prayers and these releasing the tension anxiety. 00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:21.360 I'm super excited, and I will be posting new videos on that. 00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:30.320 I have links to the book on Instagram and uh Facebook, but it's basically where you like to buy your favorite books. 00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:31.760 It's it's everywhere. 00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:36.159 Amazon of corresponds and mobile, pretty much where you like to buy your books. 00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:40.880 And the audio, actually, I'm more excited about because I got to record the audio myself. 00:38:41.039 --> 00:38:47.199 Oh god, and so I'm more excited because especially as special needs moms, we listen to books. 00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:51.119 I literally will guide you through these exercises. 00:38:51.519 --> 00:38:52.639 That's really fun. 00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:56.400 So, listeners, I will make sure to have, and I'm gonna show you the book. 00:38:56.559 --> 00:39:00.559 I have the hardcover copy, which I love hardcover because I'm a book nerd. 00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:04.239 And so The Frazzled Parents Guide to Less Stress. 00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:07.440 This is Kristen's new 40-day devotional. 00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:11.440 And so thank you again for coming on, being a guest. 00:39:11.599 --> 00:39:14.400 I'm really excited about this resource. 00:39:14.559 --> 00:39:23.920 I think it's super practical, but also something that's so needed right now, especially for moms and dads who are raising children with disabilities and special needs. 00:39:24.079 --> 00:39:25.360 So thank you. 00:39:26.880 --> 00:39:34.079 If you have enjoyed this podcast, would you do Carrie a favor and hit the subscribe button to where you listen to podcasts? 00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:36.159 Also, leave a review. 00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:39.920 This helps the podcast to become more visible to others. 00:39:40.159 --> 00:39:50.719 If you would like to share your story on the podcast, visit Carrie's website, carriemholt.com backslash podcast, and fill out the form. 00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:59.119 You can find Carrie online on Facebook and Instagram, and on her Substack page at Cmholt. 00:39:59.840 --> 00:40:03.920 Thank you for joining us today on this unexpected life podcast. 00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:08.800 Real stories, real hope in this unexpected journey.