Bản chép lời đầy đủ của Set the Foundation First

WEBVTT 00:00:52.350 --> 00:00:57.149 Set the foundation first, November fourteenth. 00:00:58.030 --> 00:00:59.789 How are you today? 00:01:00.670 --> 00:01:07.790 I hope you're doing well wherever whenever you are listening to this. 00:01:08.430 --> 00:01:17.629 Just pausing to reflect on the fact real quick that this is the three hundred and eighteenth episode of the Everyday Human. 00:01:17.870 --> 00:01:20.030 That's that's a lot. 00:01:20.510 --> 00:01:25.469 Um if you've been sticking it out with me, thank you. 00:01:25.710 --> 00:01:27.069 That means a lot. 00:01:27.390 --> 00:01:30.750 If you are just joining, welcome. 00:01:30.990 --> 00:01:32.829 It's great to have you here. 00:01:33.629 --> 00:01:46.829 Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from The Book of Joy Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams. 00:01:48.590 --> 00:01:59.469 And the quote goes like this We humans have a special brain, but this brain causes a lot of suffering because it is always thinking me, me, me, me. 00:02:00.109 --> 00:02:06.189 The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more suffering you will experience. 00:02:07.070 --> 00:02:11.629 I like that quote a lot for a number of reasons. 00:02:11.949 --> 00:02:21.790 I also like how to the point it is, the more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more suffering you will experience. 00:02:22.030 --> 00:02:23.949 And here's my reflection. 00:02:24.269 --> 00:02:28.269 You must think of yourself and you must love yourself. 00:02:28.509 --> 00:02:31.550 We looked at this in May, the month on love. 00:02:31.790 --> 00:02:36.990 Your relationship with yourself is the most important and fragile one you'll ever have. 00:02:37.469 --> 00:02:50.189 But it cannot go too far to the point of excessive pride and narcissism, or on the other side of that coin, self loathing or cycles of pathological rumination over your actions and past. 00:02:51.150 --> 00:02:57.230 In either case, we are often the main obstacles to our own happiness. 00:02:57.710 --> 00:03:03.150 The world doesn't exist to put you down, despite what you might think at times. 00:03:03.390 --> 00:03:12.830 The world, apart from some very lucky and amazing people who know you and love you, really doesn't give a shit about you. 00:03:13.150 --> 00:03:20.830 It's the me now I'm ready to sing a tune that can bring you down at the end of the day. 00:03:21.150 --> 00:03:26.270 Again, through that pride or self contempt, because what's at the center of those? 00:03:26.509 --> 00:03:28.110 A single person, you. 00:03:28.669 --> 00:03:31.550 This might be a tricky one to wrap your head around. 00:03:31.710 --> 00:03:36.430 Another tricky one, because on one hand, yes, happiness comes from within. 00:03:37.069 --> 00:03:41.629 But it comes from a place of peace and contentment and acceptance and love. 00:03:42.430 --> 00:03:45.310 This is the foundation of happiness. 00:03:45.629 --> 00:03:52.349 But sometimes, maybe a lot of times, it takes serious reflection and work to build that foundation. 00:03:52.590 --> 00:03:55.789 And you build this foundation from within. 00:03:56.110 --> 00:04:02.030 It is not built from things or stuff or even other people from the material world outside you. 00:04:02.430 --> 00:04:07.229 So yes, you do have to think about the me sometimes. 00:04:07.550 --> 00:04:11.310 It's okay to, but you mustn't dwell on the me. 00:04:11.710 --> 00:04:17.470 You take care of it and nurture it and accept it for all of its wonderful features and flaws. 00:04:17.870 --> 00:04:27.710 From there, once your foundation is established, you must look out, sharing your happiness with others, and sharing in theirs in return. 00:04:28.189 --> 00:04:46.029 Upon building your foundation, you will spend less time thinking about or focusing on yourself, the me, me, me, me, and as a result, you will have the fruit of acceptance and love, and you will experience more peace and more happiness. 00:04:46.590 --> 00:04:49.550 And there ends today's reflection. 00:04:50.110 --> 00:04:53.470 So there you have it, a little bit of a conundrum. 00:04:53.710 --> 00:05:07.629 You cannot focus too much on me, but you must to a degree focus on yourself in order to build that foundation of peace and acceptance and love from within. 00:05:08.029 --> 00:05:31.629 And then from there you kind of let go and you begin to drift in a sense, but not in a negative way, more in a just existing type of way, where you are accepting and loving and caring with open eyes and mind and heart of the world around you. 00:05:32.590 --> 00:05:34.830 But you've got to set the foundation first. 00:05:35.070 --> 00:05:37.950 Okay, now it's time for your reflection question. 00:05:38.190 --> 00:05:45.309 Grab your journal or napkin or have a look out your reflection window and consider this. 00:05:45.870 --> 00:05:50.590 If I really think about it, how much time do I spend thinking about myself? 00:05:50.909 --> 00:05:55.389 Is my foundation for happiness set and ready for me to look outward? 00:05:55.789 --> 00:05:59.070 Or must I return to building it? 00:05:59.389 --> 00:06:01.470 That's it for today, November 14th. 00:06:01.549 --> 00:06:05.149 I'll be back tomorrow, November 15th, with another reflection. 00:06:05.309 --> 00:06:07.389 Have a good one and take care.