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Welcome to The Simplify Your Life Podcast,
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where we talk about how to create a life you
won’t need an escape from! I’m Coach Simona,
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author of the book “111 Ways to Simplify Your
Life”, and I’m glad you decided to tune in!
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In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to share with you 6 life lessons I wish I knew sooner.
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Now, let's jump straight into it.
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The first life lesson is that You’re not that important
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There’s a cognitive bias called The spotlight effect.
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The spotlight effect is a phenomenon
in which people tend to believe they
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are being noticed more than they really are.
For example, when you take things personally,
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you feel offended or hurt by things that
most likely have nothing to do with you.
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Your ego likes to make up these stories about yourself
where you’re the center of attention and everyone
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is out there to get you, they’re trying
to hurt you, or planning these elaborate
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ways to cause you harm. So let’s talk about
this narrative that’s, frankly, not true.
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Taking things personally means you’re having
a strong inner monologue and you’re believing
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stories about yourself and other people
that have nothing to do with reality.
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I wish I knew the idea of being not that
important, especially in my teenage years and
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early 20s, when I felt very insecure. I spent a
ridiculous amount of time worrying and focusing on
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my internal struggles, instead of realizing that
there was no point in taking things personally
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because I wasn't that important.
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The second life lesson I wish
I knew sooner is that Even the
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most talented person can’t beat the hard worker
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Growing up, I used to rely on my talent
and charm, and had to work on improving
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my productivity and work ethic. It took me a
while to realize that hard work, efficiency,
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and showing up for myself were actually values
that were way more aligned with me.
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There are numerous examples of people who
made it because they put themselves out there,
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not because they were good at it in the
beginning. And there are numerous examples
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of truly talented people who gave up quickly
and didn’t achieve what they
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truly wanted.
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Achieving success is not about having talent. It's
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about constantly putting in the work
and not giving up when it gets hard.
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Not working hard on the things that are
important to you often has something to do
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not showing up for yourself. If that’s
something that you’d like to work on,
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I recommend watching my video on
this topic on my YouTube channel at:
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youtube.com/coachsimona
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The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner
is that Self-confidence is a state of mind
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I used to think that by doing external
things I could enhance my self-confidence and
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I also relied on external validation to feel
good about myself. But the truth is that
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self-confidence can’t be achieved from the
outside, it has to come from the inside.
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So what do I mean by saying that self-confidence
is a state of mind? The way you perceive yourself
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has a direct link to the way you talk, the
way you walk, and act in social situations.
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Let me give you an example. Ley's say you’re on
a date with this cute guy. If you think you’re ugly,
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stupid, or don’t deserve to be with them,
you’re going to act in a self-sabotaging
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way by saying awkward things or looking down
instead of looking them straight in the eye.
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And if you perceive yourself
as a confident person, you’re
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going to act accordingly. You’ll
smile, show up unapologetically,
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and enjoy the conversation instead of
getting fixated on your inner monologue.
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If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I’ve
created a free masterclass called “3 Confidence
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Secrets Every Woman Needs to Know”. If you want
to register now, just click the first link in the
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description box below or head over to:
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coachsimona.com/masterclass
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The next life lesson I wish I knew
sooner is to Aim to become 1% better
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It’s great to have a clear vision of the
future and know exactly who you want to become,
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but sometimes you might put too much pressure on
yourself. Over the years, I’ve realized that it’s
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better to aim to become 1% better instead
of trying to ace things every single time.
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For example, let’s say you want to become a better
YouTuber. Instead of aiming to make the best video
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ever uploaded on the Internet, you can choose to
iterate one thing and make it 1% better. One time,
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you could work on a better thumbnail, then
a better hook, better editing, etc.
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Or let’s say you have this big goal of
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writing a book. If you choose to do 1 % more of what’s
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bringing you closer to that goal (which
is to write at least 100 words per day),
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these things will accumulate in time, and
if you’re consistent with your new habits,
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you will achieve your goal.
Which brings me to the fifth
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life lesson I wish I knew sooner which is to
realize that Perfectionism is a waste of your time
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As a perfectionist in recovery, I know how
easy it could be to want to just tweak “one
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more thing” or change “just one
more detail”. But the truth is
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that perfectionism is holding you back
from achieving the things that you want.
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Think about it: wouldn’t it be better to
spend your time and energy on things that
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actually move the needle in your business than
trying to get everything perfect? Which btw,
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is impossible and extremely subjective.
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One more thing: perfectionism is
not only a waste of your time;
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it’s dependent on your mood and outlook
on life that day. I’ve found that when I
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haven’t slept enough or I’ve been having
a tough day, I’m way more prone to obsess
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over minor details than if I’m in a good mood
and not fixated on things that don’t matter.
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Sometimes perfectionism is a sign of
a repressed part of you that you don’t
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want to really admit exists, also
known as your shadow self. I’ve created
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a free cheat sheet on how to get to know
your shadow self. If you want to download it,
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just click the link in the
description box below or head over to:
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coachsimona.com/shadow
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The next life lesson I wish
I knew sooner is that The
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choices you make now will determine your future
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There’s this amazing quote that says:
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“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
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One of the things I struggled with the most was
delayed gratification. I wanted for things to
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happen as fast as possible and dreaded the idea
of having to wait for the desired outcomes.
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What I’ve learned especially in the past few years,
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is that if you make hard choices in the present
moment, your future self will thank you for it.
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It might be difficult to work up the
courage to do something brave or something
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you’ve never done before, but that’s the
only way to grow and evolve as a person.
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For me personally, loving myself
and taking care of my needs was
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something I had an incredibly hard
time doing. I used to dread spending
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time with myself and preferred putting
everybody else’s needs before my own.
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It took a lot of time to realize that
if I wanted to truly show up for others,
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I had to learn how to love
and accept myself first.
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That’s why I created The Self-Love
Toolkit. It’s my proven step-by-step
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framework that will help you learn how to
love yourself unconditionally. If you want
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learn more, click the link in
the description box below or head over to:
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www.theselflovetoolkit.com
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Thanks so much for tuning in! If
you enjoyed this podcast episode,
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please like it, subscribe, and
I’ll see you in the next one!