David Meltzer - Losing everything and bouncing back as a Dad & The Power of Time bölümünün tam dökümü

I have found my faith in being a parent through the responsibility, the accountability, my gratitude, my empathy, my forgiveness, and my inspiration that this nuance of one knowing I'm protected, promoted, loved, and perfected by God, but knowing I'm incapable of actually doing so for my own children because I am, to be honest, too afraid uh to hurt my children or to put them through too much struggle. 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:47.120 And I think that's the deficiency of being a dad, a good dad, at least. 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:58.800 Yeah, it's I think it's that's helping, it's meeting where meeting your kids where they are, but it's also finding finding what they want to do and help but then just ignite it and then be there to support them. 00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:00.399 And failure is okay. 00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:03.759 Like some of my best moments in life were failure and struggle. 00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:10.160 And I know that you you talked about, I you know, just doing some research, you talked about a pivotal 5:30 a.m. 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:13.519 wake-up call that that shaped you as a dad or shaped you as a dad. 00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:19.680 Yeah, my most popular, ironically, uh video over 55 million views. 00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:36.800 Um I uh I woke up at four, actually, and and it was a Saturday, and I I went outside and my daughter, my 16-year-old daughter's car was gone, and I panicked. 00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:42.560 And I called and I called and I called, and eventually my daughter picked up. 00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:46.399 And by that time, I was so afraid, I became angry. 00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:51.600 Uh and so I still get choked up because it was terrifying. 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:55.279 I was so angry, so I where the F are you? 00:05:55.759 --> 00:05:56.160 Huh? 00:05:56.560 --> 00:05:57.519 I'm in bed. 00:05:58.399 --> 00:05:59.439 You're in bed? 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:02.399 Where where where's your car? 00:06:03.279 --> 00:06:10.160 Oh, Dad, you told me if kids are drinking to leave my car and to Uber everyone home. 00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:12.240 So that's what I did. 00:06:12.560 --> 00:06:14.160 What you asked me to do. 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.680 I'm so sorry that I scared you. 00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:44.319 And it took me for a while to figure out what had happened, but I wanted to understand the clues and the patterns of being a father of how many times do I interfere with the success of my children because of my uh fear, because of my anger that results in that fear, uh, instead of truly trusting what I taught them. 00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:49.279 You know, I tell I tell my kids every day three things, uh, whatever they want to do. 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:53.920 They can play Fortnite, they can study golf, you know, I don't care what they do. 00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:58.639 Uh, but I just ask them, are you doing your best at it? 00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:02.079 Uh you know, are you learning lessons and having fun? 00:07:02.560 --> 00:07:08.319 And I don't anymore think that I can control going to law school, business school. 00:07:08.399 --> 00:07:12.560 You know, my mom's favorite lines, uh, doctor, lawyer, failure. 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:16.879 And my mom loved me as much as I love my own children. 00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:33.439 But boy, she put a great number on me and my siblings about trying to predetermine out of keeping us safe and stable, uh, her expectations instead of truly empowering us to do our best, learn lessons, and have fun. 00:07:33.759 --> 00:07:34.720 So good. 00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:37.120 You you grew up a single mom. 00:07:37.360 --> 00:07:44.800 Um talk and and I some of the research I did, obviously, ambition and drive, and you've you've achieved great things. 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:52.160 You you had you you went through some adversity, now you're on a path to empower a billion people, be happy, which I think is fantastic. 00:07:52.319 --> 00:08:07.199 And um, but one of the questions I always love asking people who've who've had a lot of successes is how do you go, how do you transition from or think about you know growing up with not a lot, or whatever that means, to maybe having a lot more now. 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:17.519 But how how do you how do you instill those those same values that shape the guy that you are, the dad, the leader, like around resiliency that maybe I might speak to another dad at home? 00:08:18.079 --> 00:08:20.319 Yeah, well, I think that's a great question, right? 00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:24.399 That it our success can also be a hindrance to our children. 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:27.439 Um, and as you know, I had to go through it twice. 00:08:27.519 --> 00:08:31.439 So I lost everything over a hundred million dollars and went bankrupt in 2008. 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:36.080 Um, so I had to reestablish the resilience uh that I had. 00:08:36.159 --> 00:08:44.559 And it was my wife and my mom who led me and and taught me about faith and wisdom and how to utilize my values. 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:54.879 And the one thing that really resonated with me with my wife when I was a mess was what would your mom say if she knew who and what you were doing? 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:56.960 Who who you were and what you were doing? 00:08:57.120 --> 00:08:58.559 What would your mom really say? 00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:04.960 You know, I I never listened to my mom for 58 years, she passed last year, but I watched her every day. 00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:19.039 And that's what created the values, the daily practices, the execution on those values and practices, and the inspiration that got me twice to more than I I believe. 00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:30.639 And so uh I think the first thing to do is to admit, like I do when I speak around the world, the first thing I say in a speech about this topic is who here grew up poor? 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:33.840 And half the audience always raises their hand. 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:35.120 It's amazing.

00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:41.039 And then I look at the crowd and I always say, I feel sorry for the rest of you. 00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:45.840 Uh, because I can't teach uh what being poor teaches you. 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:50.960 And I can't teach my child children what it's like not to have a safety net. 00:09:51.279 --> 00:09:51.600 Right? 00:09:51.679 --> 00:10:00.320 No matter, no matter what I I give or don't give to my children, they have one thing that I never had a safety net. 00:10:00.879 --> 00:10:03.279 And that's the difference. 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:06.559 You you you don't necessarily have to entitle your children. 00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:09.440 You know, my kids get what they need, and they need different things. 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:12.639 The the bookend kids don't ever want anything. 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:16.399 My youngest daughter, uh, she is good for the GMP. 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:18.159 Let's just tell you, let me just tell you that. 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:21.039 You know, she has no problem receiving. 00:10:21.200 --> 00:10:30.000 Um, you know, so I think it's really interesting uh as a dad just to realize that you cannot teach them certain things. 00:10:30.159 --> 00:10:38.320 You can't teach them what it's like to be married, you can't teach them what it's like to have kids, you certainly can't teach them what it's like to get old. 00:10:38.720 --> 00:10:41.759 And most of the time your kids are not going to listen to you. 00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:44.960 But like myself, they will watch you. 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:49.039 They will watch you when you don't think they're they're looking. 00:10:49.519 --> 00:10:54.159 So you are truly a living lesson for your children. 00:10:54.320 --> 00:11:00.000 And the higher I live to my highest self, the better I live to pursue my potential. 00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:04.559 That's what I think has driven my children to do the same. 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:05.679 Not my advice. 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:07.279 There's plenty of it on the internet. 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:08.879 They don't listen to it. 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:10.159 Uh, trust me. 00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:14.879 But they watch me, they see me get up every day and try to be kind. 00:11:16.399 --> 00:11:23.919 How how much do you have you openly talked to your kids about the the challenge you went through in 2008, 2009? 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:29.360 Well, it's hard not to be open about it because there's so many videos and speeches and content out there. 00:11:29.440 --> 00:11:34.720 And uh, you know, I was not as open early on when they they were young. 00:11:34.960 --> 00:11:39.360 Um, but you know, the youngest one got it early, obviously. 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:42.320 Um, so I've been talking about it for 13 years. 00:11:42.480 --> 00:11:44.799 Uh went bankrupt 18 years ago. 00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:54.080 So it took me about five years uh to feel comfortable elevating uh the awareness and my vulnerability to my kids. 00:11:54.320

--> 00:11:58.080 Um and so I think it's the best thing that I've done. 00:11:58.159 --> 00:12:03.120 You know, my mom had a great quote: you're either humble or you're about to be. 00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:13.919 And so in the process, you know, for you dads out there, I truly believe there's three stages of childhood with a dad uh child relationship. 00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:19.840 You go from idolization to demonization to humanization. 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:21.840 And these are the three stages. 00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:29.120 And it's very difficult, no matter how much you mess up, to go from the idolization to the demonization. 00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:30.639 These are called teenagers. 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:37.279 Uh no offense to anyone, but I truly believe that teenagers are the stupid stupidest species on earth. 00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:42.000 No matter how intelligent they seem to be, they are the stupidest species on earth. 00:12:42.159 --> 00:12:47.279 I also believe that I don't know what people do with bad kids because good kids are hard enough to raise. 00:12:47.360 --> 00:12:58.960 Uh, I don't know how you raise a bad kid because at times I'm a pretty sophisticated, capable human being, and I find it one of the greatest challenges on earth, especially when they're teenagers. 00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:12.639 So uh in that realm, you know, to be able to be vulnerable, to tell the truth, to make your kids comfortable that, you know, it's not the mistakes that dad made, it's how I responded to it. 00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:18.000 It's taking accountability and asking myself, what did I do to be responsible? 00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:20.080 What did I do to attract this? 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:22.720 What did I do to participate in this perception? 00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:24.639 And what am I supposed to learn from it? 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:32.399 And if you're interested, I'd be happy to tell you the lessons that I've learned from the mistakes that I've been made from. 00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:35.440 I love that you have talked about vulnerability. 00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:37.279 There's that's one of my favorite words. 00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:42.320 It's um there's three values that drive me in my life, which is being humble, vulnerable, and curious. 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:45.039 Uh, I think there's superpowers that remove ego. 00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:48.159 I talked about these things often to my kids, and I love what you did. 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:53.919 I don't even know if you really I'm sure you know you did it, but like you asked a question before they wanted, you made it their idea. 00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:56.639 If you want, if you want to hear that, I'm more than happy to share. 00:13:56.720 --> 00:14:02.000 And even like my daughter who's going through a torn ACL, I I lost my senior year high school. 00:14:02.559 --> 00:14:05.279 Uh, ended up lucky enough to play quarterback in college. 00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:08.480 My my daughter, she played nine games into her senior year. 00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:11.840 She lost, she blew her knee out, ACL, MCL, meniscus. 00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:15.919 And a lot of times people will say, Oh, I know I know what it's like to go through. 00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:17.120 No, you don't. 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:17.840 You don't. 00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:25.679 Dad knows what it's like to go through an injury when you lose everything and you think your life's over. 00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:29.440 If you ever want to hear those stories and we're happy to talk you through it, when you're ready. 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:30.399 Yeah. 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:32.320 I want it to be her idea, not mine. 00:14:32.960 --> 00:14:35.039 You know, yeah, it's interesting, right? 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:39.039 Questions and suggestions is something I learned from my mom. 00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:44.639 You know, it's so nice to just continually ask questions and then offer suggestions. 00:14:44.799 --> 00:14:45.840 Would it help you if? 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:49.279 So the suggestions that I ask are also question-based, right? 00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:50.720 Would it help you if? 00:14:51.039 --> 00:14:52.879 Or do you know anyone that can help you? 00:14:53.440 --> 00:15:01.600 Um these are the transitions that I look for when I'm trying to play a role of advisor. 00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:11.919 Um through I love the humility, vulnerability, and curiosity components can characteristics that truly bond uh us with our children. 00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:30.960 And uh, you know, there's nothing greater uh than that bond when when when you know your kids aren't listening to you but watching you, uh when you know that you're pushing them uh to be better, uh, and you know they're happy, healthy, wealthy, and worthy. 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:35.279 When they're happy, healthy, love and appreciate you, man, what a great feeling that is. 00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:36.399 The best. 00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:40.720 And I joke well often, I always tell my kids, Dad has zero eligibility left. 00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:43.200 So I I can't I can't play anymore. 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:46.720 Um, I'm more than happy to help and support, but I'm not gonna do the work for you. 00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:53.679 I've yet to in all my years playing sports, I've never seen someone go into the weight room and just stare at their weight, stare at the weights, David. 00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:54.480 Just stare at them. 00:15:54.639 --> 00:15:55.759 They don't get stronger. 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:57.279 You gotta lift. 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:02.960 You know it's great, and um, blessed to have played for a really good Division III football team. 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:07.039 And I was a below average college football player. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:16.159 Uh, and I used to say I was average until my coach from college was on an interview with me, and he said, let's be honest, you know, most college athletes aren't honest. 00:16:16.480 -->

00:16:18.960 50% of the players are below average, Dave. 00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:40.159 You were below average, but the lesson that I learned that I can, you know, help my kids with, because they all play, you know, my son's a very good football player, much better than I was, was the most valuable lesson that I learned for football was one for life, which is I love football at the time more than anything. 00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:42.480 That that that's why I played in college. 00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:49.279 I was born with a very low basement when it came to skills uh in genetics, but I love football. 00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:54.399 But I had to learn to love what I didn't like or love about football. 00:16:54.720 --> 00:17:05.599 And to have the capability of learning to love what you don't like or love about what you love, that's the secret to life. 00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:08.400 And it's also, by the way, the secret to marriage. 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:17.359 If you can teach your spouse to learn to love what she doesn't like or love about what she loves, meaning you and I, you're gonna be married a long time. 00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:20.480 Yeah, it's it's falling in love with the fundamentals. 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:26.799 You know, that's what I as I joke as sometimes when I work with sales teams, I always say, you know, if you're here to learn about AI, I'm the wrong guy. 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:28.000 I'm not gonna talk about AI. 00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:35.119 I because I joke with my kids, if I'm talking to you about AI, I can't like have a conversation and say, hold on, Dave, it said I should say this. 00:17:35.519 --> 00:17:45.680 Like, there's so many things that AI is great about, but you still got to be able to listen, ask questions, um, be present, um, make eye contact, follow up with people. 00:17:45.839 --> 00:18:01.839 Like, I these are things I always ask my kids if they want to know, and then I should try to reinforce it and then celebrate the small wins when they have them versus the you know, this out whatever outcome they want, but just the fundamentals along the way, because I think that's what separates most people in life. 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:02.799 So true. 00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:07.680 Your advice is so sage, and it's interesting because people ask me all the time, what would you teach your children? 00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:09.519 What are the things that are most important today? 00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:16.160 And I I give advice about what I believe to be three things that I know that will separate our kids in the future. 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:17.519 One is reading. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:25.359 Uh, not only does it develop curiosity and creativity, but it actually helps to uh determine what's real and what's fake. 00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:40.319 And I think that that's an area that will really uh separate your child if they can know how to develop curiosity and creativity through reading, but also develop a sense of what's real and what's imagination. 00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:42.880 Uh, two is practice AI. 00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:44.319 You know, don't fool yourself. 00:18:44.559 --> 00:18:49.039 If your kid is not using AI, knowledge, knowledge is no longer power. 00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:50.640 Uh knowledge is a commodity. 00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:54.240 You know, I went to law school, business school, I did very well academically. 00:18:54.480 --> 00:19:00.960 You could ask me a legal question today, and Chat GPT will come up with a much better answer in two seconds. 00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:02.559 Um, I promise you. 00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:12.880 Knowledge is a commodity, but wisdom, so wisdom uh is what AI uh can separate with when you know that knowledge is a commodity. 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:16.160 And then the third one, this comes from my personal beliefs. 00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:27.920 I believe we uh to separate our children, they need to know how to either pitch or cold call, knock on doors, do something interpersonal, one-on-one, face-to-face. 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:39.440 Uh I think you know, as much as we're in a shortage of engineers, there's gonna be a huge shortage of people that know how to sell uh and to stimulate interest. 00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:46.720 And those are the three areas that I uh suggest, as I say, uh to my children. 00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:53.680 And I'm happy to say uh they love all three, um, all four of them, and they do real well at it. 00:19:53.839 --> 00:20:02.880 And they're already starting to see the success uh in differentiators in the marketplace today, especially the ones that have graduated college, three three out of four. 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:04.000 That's awesome, man. 00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:11.680 Well, what would you say is the hardest part of your father, fatherly journey that you if you could go back in time to do over what would it be? 00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:14.160 Non-negotiable time. 00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:20.160 You know, what I teach people about 90% of my success comes from non-negotiable time. 00:20:20.319 --> 00:20:28.640 Non-negotiable time says no matter what happens today, I'm assigning a minimum amount of time to these things. 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:37.359 And if I should have to make an exception, I'm doubling down tomorrow as a super priority of this non-negotiable that I missed yesterday. 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:38.880 So I never missed twice. 00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:40.559 I'm not doubling down on losses. 00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:47.440 Dave Meltzer has no losing streaks when it comes to uh just I have losses, but I don't have losing streaks. 00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:51.599 And so for me, I had no non-negotiable. 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:56.559 So uh I tried to have something that's impossible to have, which is balance. 00:20:56.799 --> 00:21:00.000 Today I have harmony uh with the assignment of time. 00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:15.759 So I spend a minimum amount of time every day, no matter what the circumstances are,

on my sleep, on my health, on my family, on my finance, on my faith, on the study of time and the study of relativity or meaning of that time. 00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:18.000 And that equals about 12 hours of my day. 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:22.559 The majority of it is sleep, yes, but nonetheless, 90% of my success. 00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:32.799 And if somebody would have instilled in me the idea of non-negotiable behavior, assigning time every day, you know, two minutes a day is worth two hours on a Saturday. 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:34.319 Uh, and some dad advice. 00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:37.759 If you don't believe me, you know, check out your kid who's taking Spanish. 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:46.160 If you can get a kid to study 15 minutes a day of Spanish every day, seven days a week, I guarantee they'll get an A. 00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:52.000 But most kids are like me, they study 15 hours before every test and they get a B. 00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:59.680 Uh, so for me, I started to spend a minimum amount of time every day with my kids, with my wife, with those people. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.119 That were relative. 00:22:01.279 --> 00:22:05.839 But before I did that, I put myself first, sleep and health. 00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:23.519 And I can't tell you, you know, I almost made a huge mistake on my recovery by putting everyone else first because I felt so guilty about the poor behaviors that were interfering with my success of losing over$100 million and going bankrupt. 00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:24.960 I felt so guilty. 00:22:25.119 --> 00:22:31.279 I was taking care of everyone else until my wife said, Look, you've made it back. 00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:33.039 You gotta stop. 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:42.799 If you don't take care of yourself and start start serving from your saucer, you know, then you you are not gonna be able to take care of anyone. 00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:47.920 This is not going to end well, even though you have good intentions in what you're doing today. 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:50.079 You need to prioritize self. 00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:52.480 That's gold. 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:56.640 How um I'd love to talk about the word forgiveness. 00:22:57.200 --> 00:23:03.759 And how and how have you how have you either forgave, I mean, just talk talk about what forgiveness means to you as a dad. 00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:08.160 So I was a huge gratitude guy my whole life, right? 00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:15.839 I teach people to say thank you before they go to bed and when they wake up and guarantee them it'll change their life if they can create behaviors consistently in that manner. 00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:19.200 But I never understood the power of forgiveness. 00:23:19.920 --> 00:23:29.359 You know, gratitude will give you perspective, it'll help you find the light, the love, and the lessons in any circumstance, event, relationship, anything that may happen. 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:34.240 But forgiveness, forgiveness and empathy, it brings ease. 00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:37.279 So it allows you to identify the disses. 00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:48.079 See, it is the tool that I use to categorize is what I'm doing, saying, thinking, feeling, and believing, behaving in alignment with my divine direction. 00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:53.119 Is this devotional behavior or is it interfering with it? 00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:58.160 And see, if we don't have a sense of forgiveness, you know, so many people seek revenge, especially today. 00:23:58.240 --> 00:23:59.359 They seek separation. 00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:11.039 And I tell them all the time, it's a cliche, but you know, if you think revenge is gonna work for you, it is absolutely like taking poison and thinking the other person is gonna get sick. 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:13.200 You know, that's what revenge is. 00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:16.880 It's taking poison and thinking the other person is gonna get sick. 00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:22.319 Forgiveness is as powerful, it's coordinated and reconciled with gratitude. 00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:29.680 It is your higher self that allows you to forgive yourself and give that forgiveness to others. 00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:31.440 Yeah, it's powerful. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:38.799 It's um I read a I read a book, I think it was by Richard Case called Forgiveness, which is forgiveness takes one, reconciliation takes two. 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:43.279 And it, I mean, it's one of those things in life that, you know, I'm ripe old age of 50. 00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:47.039 And I I think about my 30s, I went through some some times, right? 00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:51.279 To like really forgive, and someone was making me so mad, but I'm like, but not that big. 00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:54.240 I mean, I was harboring it all, and it was making me. 00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:57.920 So these are like stories I like to share with my kids with as they're getting older. 00:24:58.079 --> 00:25:08.079 It's like just you can forgive, doesn't mean you have to be best friends, everybody, but like set surround yourself with people that bring joy to your life, make you better, um, call you out when you be called out. 00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:16.240 And exactly I I want to talk about that because you you got this new book out called Don't Do Business With With Dicks, which I think is fantastic. 00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:18.880 I think being nice is never gonna go out of style. 00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:24.079 Yeah, I I do think you need to recognize the difference between being nice and being kind. 00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:44.640 You know, a lot of times people are nice but not kind to themselves or kind to others uh because they feel as if they need to please other people or diminish their capacity to make other people feel better, or a variety of different things that happen with the need to improve ourselves or defend ourselves or to control circumstances. 00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:51.759 So I think you know, the idea of energy and being aware of you know what

we're surrounding ourselves. 00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:56.799 Are we surrounding ourselves with things that are interfering with our success, our divine direction, as I call it? 00:25:57.359 --> 00:26:08.240 Or are we surrounding ourselves with uh the right energy, the right people, places, things, events, and circumstances that are assisting us to turn the discipline into devotion. 00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:14.400 See discipline, I see so many people, they're disciplined at working, and they're so disciplined they forget to make money. 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:17.599 They're disciplined at working, they forget to spend time with their family. 00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:21.359 They're so disciplined working, they don't spend any time on their health. 00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:27.519 See, devotional people utilize that discipline with the correct behaviors aligned with their divine direction. 00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:35.440 So they're disciplined in a devotional way to take care of their sleep and their health and their family and their faith and their finance. 00:26:35.599 --> 00:26:39.200 And they study time to be productive, accessible, and gracious. 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:51.759 They study the meaning of time, knowing that the meaning that they give the failures, mistakes, setbacks, defining moments of their life, the historical relevances, even the meaning they give it will determine their self-image. 00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:59.920 And I will continually tell my children one thing I will guarantee you, you will never overachieve your own self-image. 00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:08.319 So if you want to work on something, then give the meaning of those mistakes something that builds your self-image, not destroys it. 00:27:09.359 --> 00:27:09.920 Love it. 00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:15.920 As we get ready to wrap up, David, I want to um make sure that we make it easy for people to find you. 00:27:16.079 --> 00:27:21.200 What's what's the the the easiest way people can learn about you and I can make sure that we send them your way? 00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:22.400 I really appreciate that. 00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:24.640 Because I want to offer your entire community. 00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:30.240 I will pay for my book, I will sign my book, I will pay for shipping of my book. 00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:33.279 I am on a mission of empowering over a billion people. 00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:46.319 I'd love to share with everyone in your community my book as a starting point to guide them as a great father and a great human being to empower others, to empower others to be happy. 00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:47.920 So just email me. 00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:49.759 That's the easiest way directly. 00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:55.359 It's david at dmeltzer.com. 00:27:55.519 --> 00:28:05.119 David means beloved at d is my first initial.com. 00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:10.960 I will be happy to send you my book, sign it, pay for shipping, and uh the book itself. 00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:11.680 Wow. 00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:12.720 That's awesome, man. 00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:13.279 Super kind. 00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:14.960 And we'll make sure that we will put that in the show notes. 00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:20.960 Everybody take advantage of that gold and the wisdom that he's gonna he's gonna offer you. 00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:33.680 Um if you were to summarize everything we've talked about and call it two or three actionable themes that dads can take from our conversation to apply to their own life, become that ultimate quarterback or leader of their household. 00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:35.680 Uh, Dave, tell me what comes to mind. 00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:40.640 One, know your non-negotiables and have them prioritize self. 00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:46.400 Two, know that your children are watching you, not listening to you. 00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:58.319 And three, live with humility, vulnerability, and curiosity so that you can empower your children to be successful in their divine direction. 00:28:58.720 --> 00:29:10.319 And remember, all you really need from your children is for them to be healthy, happy, love, and appreciate you, regardless of what they're focused in on. 00:29:10.640 --> 00:29:11.440 So good. 00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:16.240 I love that you dropped the the my my HVC into your into your and wise words. 00:29:16.319 --> 00:29:17.440 Uh appreciate it takeaway. 00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:21.200 Um, okay, we're gonna do, we got two minutes left, and then I'll let you go. 00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:23.920 If there was too, um, this is called I call it the lightning round. 00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:27.920 This is where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits. 00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:28.240 Right. 00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:29.680 My job is to get you to giggle. 00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:32.000 Your job is to answer them as quickly as you can. 00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:37.839 Um tell me your favorite moment as an occidental football player. 00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:45.279 Winning, uh, going to the national playoffs and and go going to the quarterfinals and losing uh 77-0. 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:48.319 But it was an amazing experience. 00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:52.000 What would be the one genre music that would surprise people you listen to? 00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:53.519 Reggae. 00:29:54.319 --> 00:29:54.960 Not bad. 00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:56.880 Favorite comedy movie? 00:29:57.599 --> 00:29:59.599 Uh anything by Adam Sandler. 00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:00.160 Okay. 00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:04.640 And then tell me two words that would tell me that two words that would describe your wife. 00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:05.599 Wow. 00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:07.039 Wow. 00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:09.200 Beautiful, intelligent. 00:30:09.759 --> 00:30:11.200 Lightning rounds complete. 00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:13.839 We're out of here with a minute to go, man. 00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:14.559 I'm so grateful for you. 00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:15.519 I'm so grateful for your time. 00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:20.000 I'll make sure that we uh get this book, Don't Do Business with Dicks, into people's hands. 00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:25.839 It's a book you got to check out and make sure all of David's work is gonna be easy to find, but I appreciate you spending time here today. 00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:26.400 Thank you. 00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:28.079 Please come on my podcast as well. 00:30:28.160 --> 00:30:32.000 We'd love to have you and learn more about all the wisdom that you can share. 00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:32.960 Thank you, everybody. 00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:35.119 David at dmelzer.com. 00:30:37.279 --> 00:30:40.160 Well, thank you again, everybody, for listening to this week's episode. 00:30:40.319 --> 00:31:04.559 And a huge favor now, if you have enjoyed this podcast, please, wherever you just listen to it, go on to the your phone, the computer, and click on reviews and leave us a review, leave us a rating, hopefully five stars if you like it a lot, which will help us be easily to be found by new listeners that are gonna be wanting to learn more about quarterback dadcasts, learn about ways they can become an ultimate quarterback, the leader of their household. 00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:08.079 And even better yet, if this episode touched you, please share it with a friend. 00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:10.720 Uh, find another episode that you like, share that episode with a friend. 00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:15.359 We're gonna continue to keep growing this thing in quest to get to a thousand dads. 00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:17.920 So I appreciate you uh continue to listen each and every week. 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:19.759 And thank you again for all your support. 00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:21.599 I wish you uh a great rest of your day. 00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:22.880 And we can't wait to see you next week. 00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:24.240 See everybody.