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WEBVTT
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Yes, I will be sure.
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She mistook you for my husband and I didn't correct her.
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Oh really?
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Obviously we make a good couple.
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What do you think?
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What was she saying?
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She's surprised.
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You you you don't speak Italian when uh your wife and son live here.
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That's not entirely my fault.
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Uh they taught me French at school.
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My family lives their lives and I live mine.
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They speak their language and I speak mine.
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That makes sense, doesn't it?
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No, on a une on a maison.
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Fermé.
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Church, tu vas la trouver.
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Va, va, va en haut dans mon bureau, à l'étage.
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Va, je t'attends, vas-y, vas-y.
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Congratulations for your great wisdom.
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My family lives their own lives and I live mine.
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What kind of philosophy is that?
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Get real.
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Listen to what he's doing to me.
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Talk to him.
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Maybe you'll do better than me.
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There's nothing wrong with what I said.
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Ultimately, people must live their lives for themselves.
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You might be living your life.
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He might be living his own life, but you're both ruining life.
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Of course, our present can give comfort and pleasure.
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No, no, no, don't fall, just don't fall.
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Of course, our present can give comfort and pleasure to those around us.
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Look at us talking about presents.
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When was the last time the three of us had breakfast together?
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When?
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We we to two flats don't fall.
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Can you remember?
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I certainly can't remember the last time you came down to breakfast in a good mood.
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Ah, bavila!
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You have to go on to the door.
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Wait, if I want to left the five footage on me left.
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It's not really fair of you to give me this role of absolute parent.
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Besides, there are about to be certain times when one parent or the other has to be away for whatever reason.
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And you can't blame me for that now, can you?
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Of course not, but you don't spend times.
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And in your case, it's constant.
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When have you been here?
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When?
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A middle-aged man and woman, almost strangers.
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An Italian cafe in the afternoon.
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In his distraction, his coffee has gone cold.
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The cafe owner mistakes them for a long-married couple.
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And she doesn't correct her.
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And then, out of nowhere, they've been married for fifteen years.
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By a simple omission, a whole life together emerges.
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When have you been here?
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When?
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You always do this.
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You never say thank you.
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You're never present.
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Why can't you let it go?
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When she opens her eyes, her partner isn't reacting the way she expected.
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He's just looking at her, a hand on her forearm, a little scared.
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This isn't what she had in mind.
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In Abbas Chiaro Stami's 2010 film Certified Copy, two strangers have an afternoon to fill.
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James is an English writer in Italy to give a lecture.
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Elle is a French antique dealer who lives there, who has read his book.
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His train leaves at 9.
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She's driving him around the city, nowhere in particular.
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She speaks with him in his own language.
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Fitfully, a bit awkwardly.
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They try to make conversation.
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So where are we headed?
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I see what you're saying.
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Uh I don't know.
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I don't know where we are now, and just meandering around with no goal.
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That's fine with me.
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Intentionally aimless.
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I don't know.
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Uh nowhere I particularly want to go.
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I'm happy just driving.
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I have an idea.
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I can take you to a place you find it in a interesting.
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Oh, just one thing.
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Uh will it take long?
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How far is it?
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Half hour.
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Is that okay with you?
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Yeah, that'll be fine.
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I have to be back
Load full transcript
here at nine for my train.
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Nine o'clock.
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All right.
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So, uh, you were saying yeah, it was difficult to be simple?
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Is that it?
00:09:00.559 --> 00:09:01.679
Yeah, that's it, yeah.
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Well, we're not worms, right?
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We're not supposed to be simple.
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Just uh complex being.
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And where's the line between simple person and simple simple mind?
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Where's the line?
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Tell me.
00:09:14.960 --> 00:09:16.639
There isn't a simple answer.
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My sister says no struggle.
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Only idiots work hard in life.
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That's her belief.
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You shouldn't be around things that make problems.
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Like uh gas fire is better than uh real fire.
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Just stick the switch.
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Safer, easier.
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She's married to the simplest man on earth.
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To her, he's the best man alive.
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He stammers.
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Uh Marie.
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She for her it's a love song.
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Well, I can understand that.
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He's lingering over her name.
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Okay, take a risk now.
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Can I tell you my favorite joke?
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Yeah.
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A man is cast away on a desert island.
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One day he's walking along the beach and he finds a brass lamp buried in the sand.
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So he digs it up, dusts it off, and a genie appears.
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I am the genie of the lamp.
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I will grant you three wishes.
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What is your first wish?
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So the man who is hard and tired said, I know.
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I want an everlasting bottle of ice-cold Coca-Cola.
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So the genie weighs his hand, the bottle appears, the man takes an enormous drink, and then the bottle just fills itself back up.
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So the genie says.
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Hurry up.
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And you know what the man says?
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Two more Coca-Cola's.
00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:01.840
Thank you.
00:11:02.399 --> 00:11:02.879
Look.
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Alright, so look, it's not the joke what's the point.
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It's not the joke that's the point, it's the moral.
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Here's a guy, hasn't he?
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Whose life is so simple that he doesn't need to be satisfied with a bottle of Coca-Cola.
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Oh, it's a pretty bad joke, I'm sorry.
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I knew it.
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She leads him to a small town in the countryside.
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They meander and chat.
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And then, in a cafe, a woman mistakes them for a long married couple, and Elle doesn't correct her.
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From here, they speak to each other through years of accumulated resentment and disappointment.
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In her telling, he fell asleep last night, on their 15th wedding anniversary, while she was in the bathroom getting ready.
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By the end of the day, they're in an empty Tritoria.
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The waiter ignores him.
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The wine is bad.
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She goes to the restroom, carefully applies lipstick, puts on a pair of large, elaborate earrings, and returns to find him distracted and irritated.
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They each speak their own language.
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She asks him to look at her.
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Outside, the music of a wedding party.
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Regarde, the femme qui se fed bad for toi.
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Regarde.
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This is just not the moment.
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It's five o'clock.
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I'm hungry.
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I need a drink.
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When is the good moment?
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Yes, one of the moment.
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I was tired.
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Why couldn't you just think about my poor husband is so exhausted, he's fallen asleep.
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My poor husband.
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What is he's he's so exhausted?
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But he's fallen asleep again, was he?
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Not after 15 years.
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Things have changed.
00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:36.879
Of course things have changed, but not as ridiculously as you make out.
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You've got to come to terms with that.
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Why can't you understand that?
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I do not know, and of course I'm not sure.
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You've talked so long in the bathroom.
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Of course I fell asleep.
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I apologize.
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I apologize for last night.
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I apologize for five years ago.
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I apologize for the restaurant, for the waiter, for the wine.
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I apologize for the last 15 years, and I I apologize for my existence.
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Where did the capacity come from?
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--> 00:15:27.759
In the dreamlike way that one moment doesn't have to follow from another.
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They go on wandering together after a fight bitter enough to damage a more fragile marriage.
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They sit on the steps of a building and she rests her head on his shoulder.
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Something has softened.
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She tells him this is the hotel where they spent their wedding night.
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He doesn't remember, he says.
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She goes inside.
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He follows her up the stairs to the room she says was theirs.
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Now they speak only in her language.
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Night has fallen.
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She lies across the bed and speaks almost in a whisper.
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Something has loosened in him, and the talk slows down enough to breathe.
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There is only this room, this night.
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He says he has to catch his train.
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She holds herself and stays gentle.
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She stammers his name.
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He leaves the room.
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We don't see her again.
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All along she leads.
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She drives him out of the city with nowhere in particular to go, and then to somewhere he might find interesting.
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She lets the cafe owner's mistake stand.
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She answers his small talk with a depth of hurt no one is prepared for.
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She goes to the restroom and comes back wanting to be looked at.
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And at the end of the day, she discovers where they are as though she has always known where they were going.
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What passes between them in the restaurant isn't only anger, it's precision.
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They know where to aim.
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That kind of accuracy usually takes years to develop.
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They are fluent not only in each other's languages, but in each other's wounds.
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And then they survive it and go on walking together into the evening, which makes what happens in the room upstairs more astonishing rather than less.
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Maybe a relationship is as strong as what two people can say to each other and survive.
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Not what they do say, what they could.
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The last thing we see is James alone at the mirror, water running, the bells ringing out in the plaza.
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All the words have fallen away.
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She gets there first.
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She tells me she was hurting under my embarrassment and regret.
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A few minutes later, she says, I feel like you heard me.
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Something in the way she says it means we can move on now.
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I don't think it was anything I said.
00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:00.480
But she could tell I wasn't surprised.
00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:30.480
And if we might still.
00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:42.799
In Andrew Hayes' 2023 film, All of Us Strangers, Adam is a middle-aged screenwriter living alone in a nearly empty high-rise on the outskirts of London.
00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:52.240
Trying to write something about his childhood, he takes the train back to the house he grew up in and finds his parents living there.
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That they died in a car crash when he was ten.
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They are the age they were.
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When they died, younger than he is now, he visits with them.
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They begin to know each other.
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He tells his mother he's gay, doesn't go well, and he leaves.
00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:22.000
The next time he comes back, he finds his father alone in the living room, putting on a record.
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Sure, she won't be long.
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It's okay.
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:39.920
Just wanted to talk to her.
00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:41.200
Yeah, I know you did.
00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:45.200
This was your granddad's favorite.
00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:48.079
I never really liked it much at the time.
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It's grown on me.
00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:54.240
You want to see your mom really loses a shit?
00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:55.599
Go ahead and break that bloody thing.
00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:17.839
Scared he wouldn't come back.
00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:24.000
You know what your mum's like, you know, don't be don't be too disappointed.
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:25.279
No no.
00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:29.519
She just needs to rearrange some things in her head, and all the story was actually just built up.
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.200
She'll soon realize it's not actually about her.
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:40.079
What about you?
00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:43.279
What about me?
00:23:44.079 --> 00:23:44.799
What do you think?
00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:58.160
Couldn't throw a ball for shit no matter how many times I tried to teach you.
00:23:58.480 --> 00:23:59.200
Couldn't for shit.
00:23:59.359 --> 00:23:59.920
Couldn't do it.
00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:03.359
Well, can you throw a ball?
00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:03.920
Not at all.
00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:04.960
Well, there you go.
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:16.559
Would you like me to know?
00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:19.039
I don't know.
00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:26.720
The boys bully you as well.
00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:30.480
Not just the boys.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:36.559
Call me a girl.
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:42.000
Ignore me, refuse to play with me, stick my head down the
toilet.
00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:44.319
Like drawing pants in my face.
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:05.200
So why didn't you come into my room if you hear me crying?
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:08.559
Why don't you tell me what was happening at school?
00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:12.079
You know, you answer me first.
00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:13.759
Be honest.
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:19.680
I just didn't want to think of you as the kind of boy that the other lads would pick on.
00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:23.519
And uh I knew that if I was at your school, I'd probably pick on you too.
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:28.960
Yeah, I think I always probably thought that anyway.
00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:42.400
You told me not to cross my legs like a woman over and over and over again.
00:25:51.039 --> 00:25:55.359
Yeah, I still I still think about it every time I cross my legs.
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:05.839
I have good memories too.
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:23.359
Oh, really?
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:24.079
It's okay.
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:28.880
It was it was so long.
00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:22.799
The film invites the wrong questions.
00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:25.200
Is this really happening?
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:27.200
Is it Adam's fantasy?
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:28.880
Is he writing this?
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:31.119
Do his parents know they're dead?
00:27:32.559 --> 00:27:34.640
All of that is beside the point.
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:38.160
Nothing new is learned in this conversation.
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:40.720
His father already knew.
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:46.799
Adam already understood at some level why his father never came into his room.
00:27:47.200 --> 00:27:50.319
The facts aren't in question and never were.
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:55.279
They begin to live inside what they both already knew.
00:27:55.920 --> 00:27:58.640
Why didn't you come in when I was crying?
00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:04.960
Can you love me when you also fear and hate something essential to who I am?
00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:09.039
The question is a statement.
00:28:09.680 --> 00:28:12.160
We both know why you didn't come in.
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:16.480
But I've waited decades for the chance to ask you anyway.
00:28:17.119 --> 00:28:19.440
The unspoken is the ground.
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:22.640
What gets said is only the figure.
00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:27.839
And you only find the edges of what's sayable by saying something.
00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:32.480
L and James find ground they never had.
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:36.559
Adam and his father had almost no ground at all.
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:38.559
That was the tragedy.
00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:43.920
Their relationship was constituted by a question that could not be asked.
00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:46.880
And then it is asked, an answer.
00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:50.400
And it turns out there was ground after all.
00:28:52.079 --> 00:28:54.799
A father capable of receiving this.
00:28:55.279 --> 00:29:01.920
A father who never existed, or who existed in potential, and never got the chance to be.
00:29:03.119 --> 00:29:05.279
Adam tells him it's okay.
00:29:05.839 --> 00:29:07.680
His father won't have it.
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:13.279
Has any time passed at all inside their relationship?
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:17.759
The conversation doesn't close the gap between them.
00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:21.920
It lets them stand inside it together.
00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:44.640
Something is exchanged.
00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:52.559
An older man I've seen for years brings a heavy brown grocery bag to his session.
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:56.319
We have so many plums all around the yard.
00:29:56.480 --> 00:29:58.400
I've been pawning them off on everyone.
00:29:58.880 --> 00:29:59.920
Would you take some?
00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:04.880
At home, I look up how to make a jam.
00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:07.279
Simpler than I thought.
00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:10.640
Just lemon and sugar and slow boil.
00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:13.279
And an animal that has an iron pot.
00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:18.480
I watch the plums and break it down.
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:26.559
Spread someone a piece of weed and then spacer the most of it into a mason jar.
00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:28.400
Leave it in the fridge.
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:33.279
The remaining part is spread into a smaller container.
00:30:36.400 --> 00:30:37.920
Bring it to our next session.
00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:40.559
I have something for you.
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:54.960
He looks down at it for a moment and then starts talking.
00:30:56.559 --> 00:30:59.839
He holds it in his hand until our time is up.
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:56.400
And featured Juliette Benoche and William Schimmel.
00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:01.359
All of Us Strangers was written and directed by Andrew Hay.
00:32:01.599 --> 00:32:05.039
And featured Andrew Scott and Jamie Bell.
00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:08.880
This is public referees.