Dementia Deserves Dignity: A Conversation With Pastor Jeanette bölümünün tam dökümü

00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:31.199 Who does that know it's called? 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:32.959 But I was hoping that they were gonna come in and teach you. 00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:48.079 I've I've figured, well, I learned that also the hard way, Pastor, in that you can have a very equipped and very experienced home care person or home care agency. 00:05:48.240 --> 00:05:52.879 But it doesn't mean that they know about dementia and Alzheimer's. 00:05:53.120 --> 00:06:02.160 They just may know how to get someone clean, how to do their laundry or uh give them their food and their medicine and take them for a walk. 00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:08.639 And I'm like, yeah, but you can't talk to my mama like you talk to me because baby, she don't know what you're talking about. 00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:09.360 Absolutely. 00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:12.560 Now you mentioned, first of all, I love the way you broke down Boad. 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:16.399 So we listen, that that's gonna now be a parenting up podcast world. 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:18.240 We're gonna hashtag that all over the place. 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:19.360 I appreciate that. 00:06:19.519 --> 00:06:25.600 Now you said in 2014, is that was he diagnosed then, or did you just see things happening? 00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:26.959 I I saw things happening. 00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:27.360 Okay. 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:30.720 I saw things happening, and I didn't believe that they were happening. 00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:34.560 Uh and I I would run back in the closet and I'd say this can be happening to us. 00:06:34.639 --> 00:06:37.600 You know, my husband is an educated man, he reads all the time. 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:40.399 He's very, very uh uh academic. 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:52.160 Uh, I know that he cannot be forgetting that he called me five minutes ago and asked me how I'm doing, and then in the next five minutes coming back again and asking me the same thing. 00:06:52.319 --> 00:06:52.560 Right. 00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:53.600 Uh I know that. 00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:58.959 And I would bring it to his attention, and he was really, really creative at covering it up. 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:01.199 He would say, Oh, you know, I'm preoccupied. 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:03.600 That was his his his verbage. 00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:04.879 I'm preoccupied. 00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:06.560 You know, a doctor's preoccupied. 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:07.680 I can forget things. 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:09.040 Everybody forgets stuff. 00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:10.879 You like, yeah, okay, that sounds okay. 00:07:11.199 --> 00:07:11.920 Okay, babe, I got it. 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:13.199 So I go back into the closet. 00:07:13.279 --> 00:07:16.000 But then I started to see some very strange things. 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:16.240 Okay. 00:07:16.399 --> 00:07:19.920 Like maybe it's car keys hanging on a clothes hanger in his closet. 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:20.480 Okay. 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:22.319 I said, oh, that's not right. 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:25.839 That that that's something else is going on. 00:07:25.920 --> 00:07:29.040 Uh one time I found his cell phone in the refrigerator. 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:30.879 There's something going on. 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:31.279 Okay. 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:37.920 So that's when I had to take control and come out of the closet and seek help. 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:39.759 Was he still working at that time? 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:42.079 No, he worked up until 2017. 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:46.399 He was very, very, I mean, the the stages, it's it's so crazy. 00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:48.480 You know, they're very, very slow. 00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:48.959 Yes. 00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:53.600 You start out in your early stage where you're still functioning. 00:07:53.839 --> 00:08:04.480 You may forget that you called me, but you could go back into the room and examine your patient and be on point with your diagnosis, be on point with your prescription, be on point. 00:08:04.639 --> 00:08:08.160 Uh, and he was on point for a long time like that. 00:08:08.399 --> 00:08:21.040 Uh, one of the things that I did notice about his cognitive decline was he could not remember his username, that he had to go into uh, you know, the computer to log in his notes. 00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:24.399 Uh he could not remember his password. 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:26.079 And so I helped him out. 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:29.360 I would write it out for him and tell him that it's in his wallet. 00:08:29.519 --> 00:08:34.080 And then he would call me even when he was at the hospital to try to make notes on his inpatient. 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:36.399 And I said, maybe I put it in your wallet, just take it out. 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:38.240 He couldn't remember that it was in his wallet. 00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:38.559 Right. 00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:40.720 So, you know, you see those things. 00:08:40.879 --> 00:08:48.000 And so when I noticed all of these things happening, I began to try to read and research what I'm supposed to do? 00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:53.600 How am I supposed to get him, you know, to seek uh help because he was in denial. 00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:54.080 Yes. 00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:56.960 And so I just learned nobody could tell me. 00:08:57.200 --> 00:09:02.399 Had anyone else brought it to your attention that he might not quite be himself? 00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:03.679 Well, I'm gonna tell you this. 00:09:03.840 --> 00:09:04.000 Okay. 00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:05.919 I'm gonna tell you this little story. 00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:10.639 He was also what was called a preceptor professor in his in our practice. 00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:10.960 Okay. 00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:17.919 Uh the medical students would come to him or the nurse practitioners who were in school would come and get their clinical training from him. 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:23.039 And so we were uh contracted with a particular medical school. 00:09:23.279 --> 00:09:28.159 And in 20, it was probably 2016, maybe

that they showed up. 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:29.519 And they says, Um, Mrs. 00:09:29.679 --> 00:09:31.519 Jordan, I just want to ask you this. 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:33.519 Do you notice that Dr. 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:36.159 Jordan is sometimes forgetting things? 00:09:36.480 --> 00:09:39.600 Well, you know, really, I had observed that. 00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:40.639 You had observed something. 00:09:40.720 --> 00:09:41.919 You were like, something is happening. 00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:44.799 I I observed it, but again, I was in denial. 00:09:44.960 --> 00:09:45.120 Yeah. 00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:48.240 And when that person asked me that, I says, Well, not really. 00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:49.759 I said, you know, he's preoccupied. 00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:51.679 I'm beginning to use his verbiage. 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:53.279 I said, he's preoccupied. 00:09:53.440 --> 00:09:59.200 I just want everyone who's listening to this and not watching the video to know I just high five, Pastor Jeanette. 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:02.879 She said, Well, I well, listen, he's not forgetting, but he is preoccupied. 00:10:03.039 --> 00:10:03.840 Won't we do it? 00:10:04.080 --> 00:10:06.559 Because we are here, first and foremost. 00:10:06.799 --> 00:10:08.960 We want to care for the people we love. 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:14.559 We don't want them to do uh to be embarrassed or to feel distressed. 00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:19.519 And so, as their protectors, you say, Hey, he was preoccupied. 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:20.720 He was preoccupied. 00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:25.600 So what happened was I said, okay, he may be preoccupied, but the students are saying that Dr. 00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:27.120 Jordan is forgetting. 00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:30.960 And so therefore, we're gonna have to withdraw our contract. 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:33.679 We can't renew our contract for the upcoming year. 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:34.080 Okay. 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:35.840 I became insulted. 00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:41.039 Even though I became very insulted. 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:45.200 I said, well, you can take your contract and put it somewhere else. 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:46.639 Uh, because he's fine. 00:10:46.799 --> 00:10:47.360 Well, right. 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:54.320 After he left, I I really had to talk to myself, you know, Jeanette, you know something is going on. 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:56.320 So you have to do something. 00:10:56.559 --> 00:11:05.279 And that's when we began to actively pursue uh how we were going to close, even close down his practice. 00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:05.759 Okay. 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:11.440 Because we could not allow him to continue practicing for his safety and the safety of his patient. 00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:11.919 Correct. 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:22.960 So it was really a process from January 2017, well, the end of 2016 to June the 30th, 2017, is when we actually closed the practice down. 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:24.240 But we're strategic. 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:25.519 It's about 18 months. 00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:28.480 That's I'm sure that was a very tumultuous time. 00:11:28.799 --> 00:11:32.399 It it had to be, but he was still on target with his diagnosis. 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:34.399 He was still on target with his patients. 00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:37.200 They loved him, they saw no changes in him. 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:37.759 Whatever Dr. 00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:39.919 Jordan said was, hey, on point. 00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:40.159 Right. 00:11:40.399 --> 00:11:43.600 And so, but we had to be strategic because we could not leave the patients abandoned. 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:45.600 Doctors cannot walk away from their patients. 00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:56.399 So we had to make sure that we found other, you know, uh facilities and physicians that they could go to and how we could gather up all of the documents and all the files and make sure that the doctors got that. 00:11:56.480 --> 00:11:57.120 So we did it. 00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:03.679 And he was given this huge, huge going away party as he retired because he was 75. 00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:04.639 Okay, listen. 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:05.440 Okay, listen. 00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:06.399 That's what they said. 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:08.639 Doc and pastor, all right. 00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:08.960 Yeah. 00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:11.360 At 75, it's time to retire anyway. 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:11.679 Yeah. 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:14.639 You've worked a hard for a long time. 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:17.360 Enjoy yourself with it from the what you're describing. 00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:18.639 He really enjoyed his work. 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:19.840 He enjoyed his patience. 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:23.600 So to ask him to stop doing that, I'm sure that was difficult. 00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:34.480 How did he respond initially when so this contract, the hospital with the contract said, hey, we are not going to renew the contract? 00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:39.360 And how did your husband digest that? 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:40.960 I didn't tell him that. 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:43.440 One more time. 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:44.480 Half five. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:46.000 I didn't tell him that. 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:52.000 I just told him that, you know, we're cutting back on the number of uh contracts that we're accepting. 00:12:52.159 --> 00:12:52.320 Okay. 00:12:52.639 --> 00:13:01.600 Because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I knew something was going on, so I had to be strategic and how I was going to wind this thing down. 00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:03.679 So you just said, baby, we're going to retire. 00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:04.960 We're going to retire next year. 00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:06.399 It's time for you to retire. 00:13:06.559 --> 00:13:07.679 Your 10 years passed. 00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:09.360 But he went out kicking and screaming. 00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:10.879 But did not want to do that. 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:15.440 But I said, but you know, we need to

spend our last days just enjoying life. 00:13:15.600 --> 00:13:15.840 Yeah. 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:18.720 We could not golf every day if we want to. 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:19.039 Okay. 00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:20.559 We could go traveling every day. 00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:23.039 So at that time, you loved him into it. 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:26.480 You just loved and coerced and coaxed. 00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:27.200 No, coaxed. 00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:29.200 You loved and coaxed him into it, baby. 00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:30.320 It's it's our time. 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:30.960 It's our time. 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:31.679 It's our time. 00:13:31.759 --> 00:13:36.879 And so I can't, we can't be together kicking it in in Chicago, stepping and all the things. 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:40.159 And look, on Lake Michigan on the boat, if you at work all the time. 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:40.960 Absolutely. 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:48.399 And you probably were the only one alive that could have ushered him through those stages so softly. 00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:49.039 I was right there. 00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:50.000 Praise God for you. 00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:50.879 Praise God for you. 00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:51.360 Yeah. 00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:58.080 And so even at that time, we we were knowing that he was going through this, uh, I had told him, I said, maybe you should write a book. 00:13:58.240 --> 00:13:59.840 You should write a book about your life. 00:13:59.919 --> 00:14:00.240 Yeah. 00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:08.320 Uh, and uh, because you're a little, you know, you were a little black boy from Mississippi, uh, and and and you weren't the smartest kid in school. 00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:19.519 However, because of your dedication to your family, you decided that you were gonna, you know, go back to school and uh get your undergraduate degree, and then you decided you were gonna go to medical school. 00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:20.799 You know, that's really unheard of. 00:14:20.879 --> 00:14:24.399 So you need to talk about from suspenders to stethoscope. 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:24.960 I love it. 00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:26.080 That was the name of his book. 00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:27.919 Okay, Suspenders to Stethoscope. 00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:30.799 So it talks about his life before the disease. 00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:37.360 Although he was going through his disease when he was writing the book, but he can remember all of those things from the past. 00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:45.200 So we had um a publisher who was his authorized biographer, and she helped us uh create a beautiful story. 00:14:45.279 --> 00:14:46.799 And I'm gonna have to make sure I get you that book. 00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:47.279 Please. 00:14:47.440 --> 00:14:48.639 Because it's very, very interesting. 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:49.279 I love it. 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:52.879 And I love an alliteration from suspendus to stethoscope. 00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:55.519 If you give me an alliteration, honey, you have me at

hello. 00:14:57.440 --> 00:14:58.559 Okay, okay. 00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:03.440 Yeah, but uh so we went on through and he came home. 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:07.679 We retired him on June the 30th, 2017. 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:20.240 Okay, July the 1st, 2017, he woke up, he went to his closet, he put on his suit, his shirt, his lab coat, and his stethoscope around his neck. 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:20.559 Okay. 00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:22.000 Because he was going to work. 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:22.879 Yeah. 00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:26.240 That was the beginning of the reality. 00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:28.000 For you, for me. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:28.639 Okay. 00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:33.279 Now I had to convince him, baby, you're retired. 00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:36.000 And then he said, Who said I was retired? 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:43.200 He had forgotten about the big party, about the big retirement party, and all the kids had come and everybody had said farewell. 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:44.159 He forgot about that. 00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:44.960 Oh my goodness. 00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:46.399 So quickly. 00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:52.240 Such a major event, and you're saying, like the next day. 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:52.960 The next day. 00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:55.679 He said, I don't know what all that, I don't even remember that. 00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:57.360 But what I do is I go to work. 00:15:57.519 --> 00:15:58.320 I go to work. 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:01.200 So provide for my family, take care of my community. 00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:02.879 Oh, I'm getting goosebumps. 00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:03.200 Yeah. 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:05.919 But at that time, Jay, I I didn't even know what to say. 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:07.759 I said, Boy, you know you retired. 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:08.720 Take off that suit. 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:11.600 Take, you know, I didn't know how to communicate with him. 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:12.080 Okay. 00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:14.480 And so it was a tug of war on that day. 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:18.159 But finally I got him to take off that and put on maybe a jogging suit. 00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:20.000 Let's just go for a walk or a ride. 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:21.120 It's gonna be okay. 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:24.240 And the next day it happened again. 00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:29.200 And so that's when I realized that I have to find out about this disease. 00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:30.720 I gotta read about this disease. 00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:34.080 I have to educate myself about this disease because I don't know what to do. 00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:34.879 I don't know what to do. 00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:36.159 I have no idea what to do. 00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:38.320 And we're arguing, and I'm arguing back with him. 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:40.399 And I'm saying, how come you don't remember? 00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:41.679 You supposed to remember. 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:42.879 You know we had that party. 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:44.159 What's wrong with

you? 00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:46.159 You know, all the wrong things. 00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:47.279 Correct. 00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:49.759 And I began to be depressed. 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:51.360 I began to be anxious. 00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:54.080 I began to cry every day. 00:16:54.240 --> 00:16:55.519 Oh sobbing. 00:16:55.759 --> 00:16:58.480 I mean, I didn't think I was going to be able to make it. 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:01.919 And then I said, you know, Jeanette, there's got to be some support groups. 00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:03.440 Uh I called one of my friends. 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:07.519 She said, Well, you know, I heard have you heard of ever heard of the Alzheimer's Association? 00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.160 I said, Well, not really, but what's the number? 00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:12.079 So I called the Alzheimer's Association. 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:15.680 Now, was this before he had a diagnosis that you called it? 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:17.119 Before that he had the diagnosis. 00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:18.240 So you just called them. 00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:19.440 Well, a friend said. 00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:21.839 A friend said, Do you know, have you heard of the Alzheimer's? 00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:22.960 That is fortuitous. 00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:24.000 That is fortuitous. 00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:28.000 Well, not really, but give me the number because I didn't know anything about Alzheimer's. 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:33.759 We've heard about it, but no one in my family that I knew of at that time. 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:34.480 Right. 00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:35.519 Had it. 00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:41.759 In retrospect, I know somebody that had it, but not then I didn't realize that my grand my father had it. 00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:42.000 Okay. 00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:44.000 But I didn't realize it until after Dr. 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:45.759 Jordan's going through this. 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:52.000 But anyway, after I called the Alzheimer's Association and they helped me with some uh strategies on how I can help him. 00:17:52.160 --> 00:17:54.240 I didn't, I said I think he has Alzheimer's, you know. 00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:54.960 Like I don't know. 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:58.559 I don't know, but this is some of his something is happening, and I need some help. 00:17:58.720 --> 00:17:59.200 I need to know. 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:00.960 So they helped me with some situations. 00:18:01.119 --> 00:18:02.720 And then I began to read books. 00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:09.200 And I read, we get the research that's, oh yeah, he's got it because these are the symptoms and these are the reactions. 00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:14.640 And after that, I said, I need a support group because I need to know that I'm not in this thing all by myself. 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:20.720 So I went to a South Suburban Hospital in Chicago, the South Suburbs of Chicago, and joined a support group. 00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:30.000 And we were just talking that support group and we were having the same things going on, the same, you know, uh frustrations and the same reactions. 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.319 And our loved ones were going through the same thing. 00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:33.440 I said, okay. 00:18:33.920 --> 00:18:44.880 So we went on and I then told my uh older daughter, I said, you know, we we got to get your dad uh definitive diagnosis because I don't know what this is, and but we don't know because he said ain't nothing wrong with him. 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:50.400 The primary care physician that I'm talking to, now I did talk to his primary care physician about what I thought was going on. 00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:50.880 Okay. 00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:59.200 And but my husband again was so crafty, he convinced the primary care physician, man, you know our doctors are preoccupied. 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.720 So he convinced his primary care physician that he was preoccupied. 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:09.920 Pastor, Pastor, I right here, that is so I know it's true because it happened with my mom. 00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:16.559 My mom, my mom was uh a CPA and a forensic accountant, an expert witness. 00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:22.480 So the gift of Gab and talking around a point is what she did for a living. 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:27.759 She was the first black woman to do that nationally with her own firm in the nation. 00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:32.000 And so I was looking at these doctors like, I don't care what she said. 00:19:32.319 --> 00:19:33.359 Listen to me. 00:19:33.519 --> 00:19:35.440 I am telling you, she's not okay. 00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:47.279 Now I didn't say that in front of my mother, but I was amazed at how many medical experts my mama pulled a wool over their eyes. 00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:51.680 I said, on three card money, if y'all met her in the street, she'd take all your money. 00:19:53.599 --> 00:19:53.759 Yeah. 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.039 You wouldn't have beat it. 00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:56.880 And so I see that was happening with Dr. 00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:57.519 Jordan, too. 00:19:57.680 --> 00:19:58.480 He just yeah. 00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:05.519 I went to, took him to a psychiatrist, and I ended up saying the psychiatrist needed to see a psychiatrist because he wasn't listening to nothing that I say. 00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:11.839 All he wanted to do was give him some medication, and so that would just uh kind of numb what was going on. 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:14.319 And I knew that wasn't wasn't right. 00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:21.839 And so finally, my older daughter found a uh neurological, the University of Chicago Neurological U Center. 00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:22.319 Right. 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:28.160 And we found this wonderful physician who was over the department, she was the department head that had him to come in. 00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:30.720 I had to struggle to get him there, and I learned to be a good thing. 00:20:30.880 --> 00:20:31.599 How did you get him there? 00:20:31.680 -->

00:20:33.839 I told him we needed to go have an assessment. 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:43.359 He and I needed as a team together, together, to make sure that you know our cognitive uh uh impairment or or that our memory was on point. 00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:45.599 So that was slick, that was slick, Pastor. 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:46.720 That was a good angle. 00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:50.960 I learned they call when you have to tell fibs, they call that a therapeutic lie. 00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:51.279 Yeah. 00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:55.440 So I call him the lie of love of like I'm I'm lying because I love you. 00:20:55.680 --> 00:20:57.359 Absolutely, absolutely therapeutic lie. 00:20:57.519 --> 00:20:57.759 I like that. 00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:02.720 So finally he got this definitive diagnosis that he was living with Alzheimer's. 00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:03.200 Okay. 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:07.839 Uh, you know, he never accepted it, but I knew what he was living with. 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:13.440 And I began to study again, as I said, I took a caregiver um course. 00:21:13.599 --> 00:21:19.839 They were doing a clinical trial study on caregivers and how you should care for someone uh through Emery. 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:20.319 Uh here. 00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:20.880 Really? 00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:21.599 Georgia. 00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:26.160 And I found it online and I enrolled and was accepted in that clinical trial study. 00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:36.559 So I was able to see what, you know, what the professionals are trying to understand as far as caregiving uh with your loved one on the uh with this disease. 00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:44.319 I gotta tell you, Pastor, I'm sure you've heard this before, but the angle that you took on this thing as a caregiver is atypical. 00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:46.160 You went all research on them. 00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:49.680 You went research, intellectual, educational. 00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:52.240 I want statistics, I want numbers. 00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:53.119 Absolutely. 00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:54.319 You weren't playing around. 00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:56.720 You're like, don't just hold my hand and give me some tissue. 00:21:56.880 --> 00:21:59.519 Tell me what is happening and what it is. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.680 Definitively that I can do. 00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:02.559 Well, absolutely. 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:04.960 That's But then I found just what you said. 00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:08.079 The health professionals really don't know about caregiving. 00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:09.279 What does the doctor do? 00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:11.039 The doctor makes the diagnosis. 00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:12.720 The nurse, what does she do? 00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:17.440 She takes the vitals and gives the injections of the medication. 00:22:17.519 --> 00:22:20.160 And what does the CNA do or the caregiver? 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:23.359 Like you said, she cleans you up and feeds you and do all of that. 00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:31.920 But when

it comes to that bedside manner or that understanding that you have to love your loved one with dignity, compassion, respect, and honor because they deserve it. 00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:33.920 Not because they want it, they deserve it. 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:34.640 They deserve it. 00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:36.400 And so that's the angle that I took. 00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:46.000 And I realized, like I said, when I had to have a caregiver as he went through the stages to come in and help me care for him, I realized that she didn't know either. 00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.440 And I asked her, Were you certified in dementia care? 00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:49.839 No. 00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:50.160 No. 00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:54.400 They just sent out a caregiver to take care, feeding them, and doing that stuff. 00:22:54.559 --> 00:23:00.240 And so eventually, though, during the journey, as the stages went on, I had to place my husband at a long-term care facility. 00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:00.720 Okay. 00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:01.680 Was it in Chicago? 00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:02.720 Did y'all stay in Chicago? 00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:04.319 In the south-up of Chicago. 00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:04.799 Okay. 00:23:05.359 --> 00:23:13.599 Um, and I realized again that the caregivers there did not know how to care for my husband. 00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:15.519 So professional caregivers. 00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:18.640 I want to go ahead and I want to make this real clear. 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:21.839 No, professional caregivers may or may not. 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:26.400 Parenting up community, listen to Pastor and Jay Smiles. 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:32.319 Professional caregivers may or may not have dementia expertise. 00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:38.559 And that is a very critical question to ask of the agency or the facility. 00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:41.200 It could be a memory care facility. 00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:46.720 That doesn't mean that the people, the caretakers there have been trained in dementia. 00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:48.480 And that is infuriating to me. 00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:54.400 How are you gonna be in a memory care facility and your people don't know what to do with somebody whose memory ain't right? 00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:58.480 Come on, I got you on my side because that's probably paying me. 00:23:59.039 --> 00:24:00.400 I gotta pay extra money. 00:24:00.559 --> 00:24:04.319 When you put memory care in front of the facility, that's another couple thousand dollars. 00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:09.920 What am I paying for if these people don't have substantially more training? 00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.880 They don't. 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:12.000 They do not. 00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:12.400 Yeah. 00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:19.599 So I went in to this memory care facility, and I says, My name is Pastor Jeanette Jordan. 00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:20.799 My husband is Dr. 00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:21.599 Robert Jordan. 00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:22.720 You will call him Dr. 00:24:22.799

--> 00:24:23.279 Robert Jordan. 00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:24.480 I know that's because that's who he is. 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:25.599 Get them straight. 00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:29.680 My husband is not to stay in his room medicated all day. 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.880 You are to take my husband out so he can socialize and be a part of the activities that you provide. 00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:38.559 Whether he knows or whether he can do it or not, let's let him be in the midst. 00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:39.200 That's right. 00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:43.920 You're going to feed him three times a day, and you're gonna I want you to make sure that he eats. 00:24:44.079 --> 00:24:55.759 I mean, I laid out what my expectations were of how they were gonna care for my husband, and I kept the role as lead caregiver, although he was in that memory care facility. 00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:58.559 You cannot do anything with my husband until you call me. 00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:03.440 I mean, the doctor said I don't want you changing his medication until you ask me if that's okay. 00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:06.720 And so that was the respect that they gave me. 00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:08.960 How did you know to do that, Pastor Jeanette? 00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:19.440 How did you know to take that type of ownership over what was happening with your husband in a facility when technically you didn't work there? 00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:22.079 Hey, that was my husband of 58 years. 00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:23.359 Girl, you better give it to me. 00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:25.519 I know that's another hand clap. 00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:27.599 It wasn't, it wasn't, I didn't have to think about that. 00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:28.880 That came natural from the city. 00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:29.920 That just came natural. 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:30.799 That was God given. 00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:33.519 God said you have to take control because this is your husband. 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:36.400 And I loved him uh more than life itself. 00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:39.279 And I was just gonna make sure that he was taken care of. 00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:44.079 But I wasn't I didn't take him to that lawn care term facility to drop him off, though. 00:25:44.319 --> 00:25:47.119 I I didn't take him there and just say, okay, you guys do this. 00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:48.079 You better speak on it. 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:49.119 And I'm gonna go on back home. 00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:52.319 And that's what I was there every day. 00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:53.359 I know that's right. 00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:58.960 And I looked at those caregivers professional and those that were not so professional. 00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:03.839 I looked at them as the people that helped me care for my husband. 00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:08.079 An extension of your absolutely, absolutely. 00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:12.640 And so I that's why I learned that they really didn't know how to care for my husband. 00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:13.039 Okay. 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:17.440 They didn't know that you can't come in and say, How do you feel this morning, Dr. 00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:18.079 Jordan? 00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:20.319 You don't know. 00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:20.880 Right. 00:26:21.119 --> 00:26:22.640 You know what hurts? 00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:24.079 Are you hungry? 00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:26.079 Do you have to go to the bathroom? 00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:27.359 He doesn't know that. 00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:32.240 You are supposed to be able to know how to communicate with my husband. 00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:34.720 There was a point in time my husband forgot how to eat. 00:26:34.799 --> 00:26:35.920 He forgot how to swallow. 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:39.039 They will get to that in going through the stages. 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:41.839 They immediately wanted to put in a feeding tube. 00:26:42.559 --> 00:26:43.599 That ain't happening. 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:45.119 I don't want a feeding tube. 00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:49.839 If my husband is at the stage where he needs a feeding tube, then I'm just keeping him alive for me. 00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:51.920 He's not gonna be a viable person. 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:55.279 No, I want to that is such a selfless point of view. 00:26:55.519 --> 00:26:56.160 Do you know that? 00:26:56.240 --> 00:26:57.839 You might not even know it because that's who you are. 00:26:58.079 --> 00:27:07.039 It's such a selfless point of view to say, well, if he needs a feeding tube, then he's existing just for me. 00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:08.000 Yes. 00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:08.960 That's deep. 00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:10.240 Yes, that's deep, Pastor. 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:14.000 So I'm gonna teach him because I don't think that he is at that point. 00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:14.400 Okay. 00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:16.079 I'm gonna teach him how to eat. 00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:16.559 All right. 00:27:16.799 --> 00:27:18.640 I'm gonna teach him how to swallow. 00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:21.359 And they kept saying, oh, well, he's not gonna happen. 00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:22.160 It's not gonna happen. 00:27:22.319 --> 00:27:23.440 I said, well, watch. 00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:23.839 Right. 00:27:23.920 --> 00:27:25.039 How'd you do it? 00:27:25.279 --> 00:27:29.759 I remembered how he had his babies as a pediatrician to eat. 00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:30.240 Okay. 00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:31.119 Or to swallow. 00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:32.559 You better full circle that day. 00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:33.839 I made a full circle, baby. 00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:36.559 I became I became his pediatrician. 00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:38.240 Although he's not a baby. 00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:43.119 But I was using some of the techniques that I saw him use to get his babies to eat. 00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:53.759 So when I would put uh food on a uh a spoon to his mouth and he would not open his mouth, I then would take something sweet and put it on the tip, like we did. 00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:59.119 Let the little nerd

taste that, and he opened up the over pep mouth and I shove it on him. 00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:04.240 And then I would rub his Adam's apples, and that would give you a swallowing reflex. 00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:04.640 Okay. 00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:06.319 And he began to swallow. 00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:07.680 And I would take my time. 00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:15.119 One of the things I learned in the long-term care facility, they don't have the staff and they don't have the time that my husband needed for you to feed him. 00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:15.440 Okay. 00:28:15.599 --> 00:28:20.799 It took me almost an hour sometimes to get him to eat a full plate of food. 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:22.000 But I had the time. 00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:22.559 That's right. 00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:27.680 So I sit there and I took my time and finally he learned that. 00:28:27.839 --> 00:28:31.359 And then I've learned to, then I started to put the spoon in his hand. 00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:31.680 Okay. 00:28:31.839 --> 00:28:44.480 And I started to put his hand in the food and using some of the Tippy Snow, who is well known in the Alzheimer's arena with the mini techniques, I used her hand under, uh, over hand to help feed him. 00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:44.880 Right. 00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:49.200 And then he learned the reflex, and he began to start doing it himself. 00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:52.160 The next thing you know, my husband was eating himself. 00:28:52.319 --> 00:28:54.960 And feeding himself and feeding himself. 00:28:55.119 --> 00:28:56.960 And what did the staff say? 00:28:57.279 --> 00:29:01.759 They just said they were like, hey, I don't know. 00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:03.359 What did you do? 00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:16.640 I was able to get my husband enough nutrition in his body to be able now to come out of that lying position, that you know, that catatonic state almost. 00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:17.200 Absolutely. 00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:20.640 Uh, to sitting up in his bed, to drinking. 00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:24.079 Another one of the things I found out that they don't give him enough water. 00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:27.680 Oh, I'd rather you wait for wait for him to say, I'm thirsty before you give him some water. 00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:28.319 He can't see it. 00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:33.119 You can't wait for a person with a dementia to ask for anything. 00:29:33.279 --> 00:29:33.440 No. 00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:34.160 Nothing. 00:29:34.240 --> 00:29:34.480 Nothing. 00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:39.279 Not not a tissue, not to wipe their nose, not I gotta go to the bathroom, I gotta eat. 00:29:39.440 --> 00:29:40.640 Now I gotta scratch. 00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:45.920 Like you, you just every so often, I just walk up to my mom and I just start rubbing all over. 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:53.119 I rub her head, I twigle up with her ears, I scratch her side, because I don't know if something is itching. 00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:54.079 Absolutely. 00:29:54.319 --> 00:29:57.839 And you know, if she squirms away from me, then I stop. 00:29:58.079 --> 00:30:00.960 But if she don't squirm, then I didn't hit a good spot. 00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:01.359 Absolutely. 00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:04.240 And I'ma just keep scratching or rubbing. 00:30:04.480 --> 00:30:08.079 That is extraordinary, that that angle that you took. 00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:11.839 But that but in doing so, I just started doing so many other things. 00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:12.319 Okay. 00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:21.039 You know, uh, making sure that he went to the activities uh uh uh room, making sure that he participated in whatever they were doing. 00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:22.799 I played cards with him. 00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:26.720 Uh although he didn't even know what kind of card game we were playing. 00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:27.279 That's right. 00:30:27.359 --> 00:30:32.400 Uh, whatever he did, if I put a card down, I said, put that card down, and he would put the card down, I said, Oh, you won. 00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:32.720 Right. 00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:33.920 You know, we played. 00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:38.880 It did not matter whether it was the right thing, but it just kept him doing something. 00:30:39.359 --> 00:30:39.519 Right. 00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:40.799 Using his hands. 00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:41.279 Right. 00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:42.079 His arms. 00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:42.640 Right. 00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:45.359 I would give him a uh a napkin on the table. 00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:46.720 I said, baby, let's fold this up. 00:30:46.799 --> 00:30:48.079 We need to fold this napkin up. 00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:52.799 And just he attempted to do that to make him feel like he was worth something. 00:30:52.960 --> 00:31:07.839 So after trying all this stuff, I said, you know what, there are other caregivers out there that are fumbling around with no one to help, and they're not being the best that they could be as a caregiver for their loved ones. 00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:08.079 Right. 00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:13.279 And they're willing to learn if there's someone to teach them. 00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:17.759 I realized that I'm helping people are not calling me and saying, How did you get him to do that? 00:31:17.839 --> 00:31:18.880 How did you get him to do that? 00:31:19.039 --> 00:31:19.200 Right. 00:31:19.359 --> 00:31:20.880 And I would tell them my little tricks. 00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:22.240 I said, you know what? 00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:28.480 I need to first write a book about my experiences and what I went through. 00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:29.359 And I did that. 00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:31.759 Journey of Compassion is my book. 00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:32.559 Yes. 00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:39.119 After after I did that, I said, I need to establish a business or something. 00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:40.640 I didn't even know what it was gonna be. 00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:45.839 So I could teach, so I would be a voice, I could be an advocate for caregivers. 00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:46.480

Right. 00:31:46.799 --> 00:31:49.119 So I I God gave it to me. 00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:51.519 In my dream one night, it it came to me. 00:31:51.839 --> 00:31:53.279 Dementia dignified a cat. 00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:56.640 And your husband was still he was still with us. 00:31:57.680 --> 00:32:09.759 So I just I just want everybody that is watching or listening to really digest that while her husband was still here, she is training other caregivers. 00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:10.559 Absolutely. 00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:15.440 And she decided to start her foundation. 00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:16.559 It's a nonprofit, correct? 00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:17.279 It's a nonprofit. 00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:22.880 It's a nonprofit foundation, and he was still here because of how much you wanted to serve. 00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:26.240 That's just naturally who you are, is to serve. 00:32:26.480 --> 00:32:31.680 And Dementia Dignified Academy, I gotta tell you, DDA, that sounds a lot like a doctor. 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:33.920 It sounds like a medical thing. 00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:39.359 You know, DD something, usually DDS, DDM, it's a doctor of something. 00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:43.839 So it sounds fancy and expertise even before you started doing stuff. 00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:45.039 Oh well, thank you. 00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:46.319 But God gave that to me. 00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:46.559 Yeah. 00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:54.400 Dementia Dignified Academy, because I wanted to teach caregivers to care for their loved ones with dementia, with dignity. 00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:54.960 Yes. 00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:56.559 And so that's what I did. 00:32:56.720 --> 00:32:59.119 And I I didn't know how it was gonna go. 00:32:59.279 --> 00:33:06.160 Um, my business partner, Michelle Mason, who is my right hand, she's my spiritual daughter. 00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:08.240 I couldn't do this thing without her. 00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:08.640 Okay. 00:33:08.799 --> 00:33:12.720 But she is the one that helps to write the modules for the academy. 00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:22.160 She's the one that goes out with me and we we teach caregivers the practical side of teaching a caregiver how to interact with their loved one. 00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:27.839 Or we do workshops to tell them about the stages that they the loved one may go through. 00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:33.279 Or we go to churches and senior care facilities to tell people what to look out for. 00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:33.599 Okay. 00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:35.759 Uh to give them the warning signs. 00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:40.960 I mean, I know the Alzheimer's Association does the same thing, but we wanted to go in our community that looks like us. 00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:41.680 That's right. 00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:43.839 That's a look like useful. 00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:47.599 See people that look like us, we tend to listen. 00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:49.279 We trust one another. 00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:50.160 We're community. 00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:55.759 We

have a lot of reason not to trust people who don't look like us, even if there might be a good one coming along. 00:33:56.640 --> 00:34:04.559 Dementia, uh, Alzheimer's, which is what you and I have experienced the most, it is so unrelenting and so painful. 00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:09.280 And even as a caregiver, you're in denial, like you were initially with your husband. 00:34:09.519 --> 00:34:11.360 Um, I was with my mom. 00:34:11.519 --> 00:34:13.599 You're in denial, you're in pain. 00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:15.760 Yes, okay, you're you're hurting. 00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:28.639 And then if the physician or the agency or the facility that you're dealing with adds any type of discomfort or discontent, you can't take it. 00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:36.960 Like as a caregiver, you're already barely, barely, I mean, you barely got your head above water. 00:34:37.039 --> 00:34:39.760 You're like gasping for air, you're doing your best. 00:34:41.599 --> 00:34:50.559 And it helps when you know not only that there's someone that looks like you, but then there's someone that's also having this same experience. 00:34:50.719 --> 00:35:04.159 They've either lived it recently or they're currently in it, and you can talk out, talk because as um, and I and I say this because I I have uh the podcast is now, praise the Lord, and the community, we're global. 00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.840 And so everybody black all over the world ain't like black Americans. 00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:10.800 And I tell them, what I know how to do is be a black American. 00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:20.800 Now I am open to you teaching me about your cultures in Ghana or in Lisbon and what the black community needs, but I know how to speak black American. 00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:28.719 I know what it means when my grandmother or my mother uh says my first and middle name. 00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:30.159 Janae Marielle. 00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:31.360 That's my that's my legal name. 00:35:31.440 --> 00:35:35.760 If they say that, I gotta hush and say yes, because I'm about to be in trouble. 00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:39.519 Like there's a certain code for how we live and how we speak. 00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:43.199 And there's a certain way we love on our elders. 00:35:43.519 --> 00:35:48.800 We try really hard to see them or go see them or keep them with us. 00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:57.920 We might move them from the brother to the cousin to the auntie, and this man didn't move like every two months for two years, but he went to family. 00:35:58.320 --> 00:36:00.079 And sometimes that's positive. 00:36:00.239 --> 00:36:06.559 But the point is it's always the effort that we're willing to put in to do better. 00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:17.199 And so when you started Dementor Dignified Academy, you gave people a lifeline, Pastor, so that they can learn faster. 00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:17.840 Yeah, right? 00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:23.280 They don't have to make as many mistakes maybe as you and I made coming up through this

thing. 00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:33.199 But let me tell you this is in our community, yeah, we don't want to talk about dementia or old timers as they used to be. 00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:42.880 Old timers or um you go and see now, you don't want us, because I remember someone telling me this about my mom. 00:36:43.199 --> 00:36:45.199 Your mom's not losing her mind. 00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:56.960 Like they have decided that some kind of way, Alzheimer's means you are losing your mind as though that's something to be embarrassed about. 00:36:57.119 --> 00:36:57.519 Right. 00:36:58.159 --> 00:37:00.480 Like she could have helped it, right? 00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:00.719 Yeah. 00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:03.360 And I'm like, I don't feel that way at all. 00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:05.599 I don't think my mom is losing her mind. 00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:07.920 Her her brain doesn't work the same. 00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:08.639 Absolutely. 00:37:08.800 --> 00:37:13.119 But but but we're just a a culture that what goes on in the Jordan House stays in the Jordan. 00:37:13.599 --> 00:37:14.880 But we don't want to talk about that. 00:37:15.119 --> 00:37:15.440 That's true. 00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:23.679 So what we what I what we teach our caregivers or the communities that we go in to talk about this beast of a disease, this boad. 00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:24.000 Yeah. 00:37:24.159 --> 00:37:28.559 We teach them that you cannot, we are our brothers and sisters keeper. 00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:31.119 So you cannot not talk about it. 00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:31.440 Correct. 00:37:31.679 --> 00:37:43.920 Come out of your house like I did and talk about the struggles and what I saw and how I had to go and find uh what was going on and how I had to research so I could be a better uh caregiver. 00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:48.800 Even in the uh senior suites or the uh senior communities that we go out. 00:37:48.960 --> 00:37:55.440 So if you see your girlfriend or your next door neighbor wandering around the building, you know, don't just say she's crazy. 00:37:55.840 --> 00:37:57.679 You know, look at her wandering around the building. 00:37:57.760 --> 00:37:59.440 It could be something wrong. 00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:04.079 So if you don't know her family, tell whoever the management is in that building. 00:38:04.159 --> 00:38:06.639 You know, my next door neighbor is wandering around the building. 00:38:06.719 --> 00:38:10.960 Maybe you better tell her family, you know, maybe she does some cognitive decline. 00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:12.880 So take accountability for that. 00:38:13.039 --> 00:38:16.159 So we, you know, we're just trying to open up the eyes of our community. 00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:20.800 And I think we're doing a real, real awesome, awesome you are. 00:38:21.119 --> 00:38:21.679 I heard it. 00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:24.559 I heard you doing it when I didn't even know who you were. 00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:26.960 That was not an African-American I was talking to. 00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:28.000 Sounded like it. 00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:39.280 This woman, this woman found uh Dementia Dignified Academy Support Group because we have a support group that we uh do, and now we do it every fourth Thursday of the month virtually. 00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:41.440 Virtually, so you don't have to be in Chicago. 00:38:41.679 --> 00:38:45.360 Anyone this woman was from Georgia because I was here doing it. 00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:46.480 She was from Georgia. 00:38:46.639 --> 00:38:46.880 Okay. 00:38:47.039 --> 00:38:49.199 And she was looking for support. 00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:49.679 Right. 00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:54.880 And of course, we were at the altar program, so the support that we have here was for the black community. 00:38:55.039 --> 00:38:55.280 Right. 00:38:55.519 --> 00:38:59.199 But I did not leave her without helping her. 00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:02.239 Do you know that woman is on my support group every fourth eight? 00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:02.800 I love it. 00:39:03.039 --> 00:39:08.639 And her husband is going through dementia, and he's able to be on the support group with her. 00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:09.920 He's in his early stage. 00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:10.559 That's phenomenal. 00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:17.119 He was concerned about her going through this journey with him as his caregiver. 00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:19.039 And it's so very interesting. 00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:27.199 It's so very interesting for us to watch him because we're, if she keeps with us, we're gonna see him go through the stages. 00:39:27.360 --> 00:39:27.679 Right. 00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:34.159 And he's just now looking at her and applauding what she's doing, you know, for him. 00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:43.440 So I had to help her on that day because that's why she called that number, uh, got jumped on that Zoom support line because she needed help. 00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:47.760 And I know how I needed that same kind of help when I was starting out. 00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:49.039 So did I. 00:39:49.280 --> 00:39:49.920 I'm telling you. 00:39:50.239 --> 00:39:50.880 So did I. 00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:59.199 But there is nowhere that I go and I talk about what I do, that someone will know somebody that's going through this disease. 00:39:59.440 --> 00:40:00.079 And lost. 00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:00.719 And lost. 00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:02.960 Going through it and lost. 00:40:03.360 --> 00:40:04.079 Absolutely. 00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:10.880 But as God is our witness, we're not gonna be as lost for much longer. 00:40:11.039 --> 00:40:18.000 Because between dignified dementia academy and the parenting up community, what we're gonna do is we're gonna keep telling stories. 00:40:18.559 --> 00:40:39.840 We're gonna get the word out, we're gonna make sure that people know that there's a community, there are multiple communities that are attacking this same issue, which is you're a family caregiver, you don't have any training in dementia or dementia-related diseases, and all

of a sudden, somebody that you love a lot is suffering. 00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:42.559 And what in the heck am I going to do? 00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:44.000 But let me, I want to say this. 00:40:44.159 --> 00:40:44.320 Yes. 00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:48.880 I don't like to say that the person with the disease is suffering because they don't know. 00:40:49.039 --> 00:40:50.719 It's the caregiver that's suffering. 00:40:51.039 --> 00:40:52.159 I received that. 00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:53.440 I received that. 00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:54.159 They don't know that. 00:40:54.239 --> 00:40:54.960 They don't even know the thing. 00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:57.360 We're looking at it and we're sad, but they're not suffering. 00:40:57.679 --> 00:40:58.559 They're not in pain. 00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:00.639 But we need the caregiver. 00:41:01.119 --> 00:41:01.519 We're suffering. 00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:02.639 We're suffering double. 00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:05.920 We're suffering for them, for us, for what we thought we might have. 00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:06.719 Absolutely. 00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:13.679 So out of this whole thing, I've I was I've I uh my husband made his transition August 11th, 2023. 00:41:13.920 --> 00:41:14.239 Okay. 00:41:14.559 --> 00:41:15.119 Guess what? 00:41:15.199 --> 00:41:17.840 I had prepared myself for that transition. 00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:19.519 I had read about it. 00:41:19.679 --> 00:41:24.000 I already know that there is no reversal because we don't have a cure. 00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:24.159 Right. 00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:27.599 Although they're working very hard to find a cure. 00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:29.280 You knew nothing would help your husband. 00:41:29.519 --> 00:41:34.159 But I knew nothing would help, and I knew the end was going to be the end stage. 00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:34.559 Yeah. 00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:46.880 And so when he was going through his transition, I was able to prepare the room, prepare him, and prepare all of us in that room for his peaceful, loving transition. 00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:49.440 I brought in uh essential oil. 00:41:49.519 --> 00:41:51.280 So we used aromatherapy. 00:41:51.360 --> 00:41:54.960 I brought in soft music and familiar music to him. 00:41:55.199 --> 00:41:59.119 We prayed, we sang, we laughed and all of that. 00:41:59.360 --> 00:41:59.920 That is divine. 00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:04.559 When he took his last breath, I all I could say was enjoy the journey, honey. 00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:04.880 Yeah. 00:42:05.039 --> 00:42:08.400 And because I found purpose in my pain. 00:42:08.559 --> 00:42:08.800 Yeah. 00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:12.159 And that purpose was now you were sacrificed. 00:42:12.239 --> 00:42:12.880 That's how I felt. 00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:29.280 My husband was sacrificed so that I could hear God's voice saying, You've been anointed and appointed to start this nonprofit to teach caregivers on how to care for their loved ones with the love and dignity and compassion uh that that your loved one deserves. 00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:31.199 So that's what we're that's what we're about. 00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:32.320 So we train caregivers. 00:42:32.559 --> 00:42:40.800 They come to us and we train them on what to look for, what's happening with the brain, with the amyloid plaque and the toe and all of the neurons, all of that. 00:42:40.880 --> 00:42:41.519 We we tell them. 00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:42.719 We give them some science. 00:42:42.880 --> 00:42:43.679 Yeah, it's a disease. 00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:50.800 So we have to understand it's a disease like cancer is a disease, diabetes is a disease, dementia is a disease. 00:42:51.039 --> 00:42:52.159 Alzheimer's is a disease. 00:42:52.400 --> 00:43:02.639 So once you get that in your mind, then the arguing that you are doing, the the the just not understanding and fussing back and forth and getting frustrated becomes different. 00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:04.000 It becomes different. 00:43:04.159 --> 00:43:08.480 And you begin to talk to your loved one as though uh you get on in their world. 00:43:08.719 --> 00:43:09.039 That's right. 00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:12.960 My husband was in our world for what, 58 years of my life. 00:43:13.199 --> 00:43:13.599 Right. 00:43:13.840 --> 00:43:18.800 Now I'm gonna step off into his world and care for him from that vantage point. 00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:20.079 And so that's what I did. 00:43:20.320 --> 00:43:20.880 Perfection. 00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:21.679 That's what I did. 00:43:21.840 --> 00:43:22.400 That is perfection. 00:43:22.559 --> 00:43:25.360 And I knew when he's winched, something was hurting. 00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:25.679 That's right. 00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:29.360 And I remembered that, okay, he had arthritis in his knees. 00:43:29.519 --> 00:43:31.760 Maybe his knee is hurting, but he's not able to tell me that. 00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:33.679 And I was able, like you said, to massage his knee. 00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:33.920 Yeah. 00:43:34.079 --> 00:43:36.559 Put some start moving around or touch his stomach. 00:43:36.639 --> 00:43:37.760 Maybe he has to go to the bathroom. 00:43:37.920 --> 00:43:38.239 That's correct. 00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:40.239 Can you take my husband to the washroom, please? 00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:40.400 Right. 00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:43.599 I begin to know all of the facial features and all of the movement. 00:43:43.679 --> 00:43:44.400 So that's what we tell. 00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:45.599 They do have tails. 00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:46.320 Oh, yeah. 00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:53.679 That the Alzheimer's patients, they don't like it's not the people with Alzheimer's, they're not necessarily a poker body. 00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:55.840 They might have a poker face, but not a poker body. 00:43:55.920 --> 00:43:58.559 Something is gonna move or twitch. 00:43:58.639 --> 00:43:59.760 Like I have told everyone. 00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:00.639 Caregiver. 00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:06.880 If my mom is sitting and she starts because she's not a

squirmer, I say if she starts squirming, she has to go to the bathroom. 00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:11.440 Now, we don't know if it's number one or number two, but it may have already happened. 00:44:11.519 --> 00:44:13.360 But the point is, please get her up. 00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:14.000 That's right. 00:44:14.079 --> 00:44:15.519 And take her to the toilet. 00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:19.679 Like shit, immediately I don't care if she's eating, move the food. 00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:22.880 Because there's something happening right now in this moment. 00:44:23.039 --> 00:44:26.960 Pastor, I gotta tell you, it has been such a pleasure to have this conversation with you. 00:44:28.400 --> 00:44:30.239 And listen, I'm gonna need to have you back on. 00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:38.159 Maybe I gotta come to Chicago and we do uh an episode showing some of your tools and techniques. 00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:51.599 You have to let everyone in the PantherNap community know how they can get your book, how can they become a part of your virtual uh support group, or maybe even attend some of your live training sessions. 00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:55.920 Okay, because our next training is coming up on September the 26th in Chicago. 00:44:56.079 --> 00:44:56.400 Okay. 00:44:56.559 --> 00:45:02.239 Uh we will be training uh dementia certified specialists that we become DCSs. 00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:09.599 They get a certification, and for those professionals who need CEUs, they will get six CEUs for taking the course. 00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:13.440 Whoa! It's a seven, it's a six-hour course. 00:45:13.599 --> 00:45:16.000 So you're with us for practically all day. 00:45:16.079 --> 00:45:26.400 But when you leave, you will feel that you have been empowered to take care of your loved one, or you've been empowered if you are a caregiver uh working for a home health care agency. 00:45:26.719 --> 00:45:31.360 You have a whole different uh outlook on how to care for someone living with this disease. 00:45:31.519 --> 00:45:44.639 If you're looking for my book, Journey of Compassion, you just have to go to our website, which is www.dignifiedda.org, and you can search books and it'll pop up. 00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:45.920 Even that book of Dr. 00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:47.679 Jordan's is also online. 00:45:48.320 --> 00:45:50.480 They can pop up and find that there. 00:45:50.880 --> 00:45:53.760 Uh if they want the support group, that's also on our website. 00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:57.679 But it's every fourth Thursday of the month at 7 p.m. 00:45:58.000 --> 00:45:59.840 Eastern Standard Time, 6 p.m. 00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:01.280 Central Standard Time. 00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:03.199 Uh, for it's one hour. 00:46:03.360 --> 00:46:10.480 And we always try to have professionals on our show that has some uh something unique to tell us about this disease. 00:46:10.639 --> 00:46:17.440 Uh this month, we're having uh a young lady that's gonna come on to give us some breathing exercises. 00:46:17.519 --> 00:46:19.679 As caregivers, we need to learn how to relax. 00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:21.599 We need to have to breathe. 00:46:21.920 --> 00:46:22.960 We don't breathe well at all. 00:46:23.119 --> 00:46:26.800 We we are holding our breath more than we realize as caregivers. 00:46:27.440 --> 00:46:35.840 And we so because if you have to go like that, that means your body was going without the appropriate amount of oxygen for maybe two or three minutes. 00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:44.960 Now, it doesn't mean you were underwater, but it does mean that your lung capacity, everything, your brain, everything got truncated. 00:46:45.039 --> 00:46:45.280 Yes. 00:46:45.519 --> 00:46:48.960 So I just coming on, she's coming on and take us through those exercises. 00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:49.519 Okay. 00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:55.760 And then the following month, we're gonna have a uh a young man that's gonna come on and talk to us about the importance of respite care. 00:46:55.920 --> 00:46:56.159 Yes. 00:46:56.320 --> 00:47:01.119 Uh, caregivers need respite care, that you need to be able to get out and and do stuff for yourself. 00:47:01.280 --> 00:47:10.000 As I was caring for my husband, every Wednesday was my day to just get out, whether I'm sitting out in a place like this, uh-huh, or whether I'm going to get a manny or a petty. 00:47:10.239 --> 00:47:11.840 Uh but Wednesday was your day. 00:47:12.239 --> 00:47:12.719 Wednesday. 00:47:12.880 --> 00:47:17.440 Now, did you did someone suggest that to you or did you come up with that on your own? 00:47:17.679 --> 00:47:22.480 It was suggested along my way that I, well, that a caregiver needs care. 00:47:22.639 --> 00:47:22.800 Yes. 00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:24.800 So you decide what kind of care that you need. 00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:25.280 That's right. 00:47:25.599 --> 00:47:32.159 I also found myself a therapist because you need to be able to dump on somebody because I talked to my therapist this morning. 00:47:32.559 --> 00:47:33.360 Frustrating. 00:47:33.519 --> 00:47:36.880 And you can't deal with well, as a pastor, I'm used to listening to other people. 00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:37.199 Right. 00:47:37.360 --> 00:47:41.440 And I'm used to helping them through uh whatever they're going through. 00:47:41.599 --> 00:47:41.679 Right. 00:47:41.840 --> 00:47:44.320 And I realized quickly, I can I can't counsel myself. 00:47:44.400 --> 00:47:45.679 I I can't dump on myself. 00:47:45.760 --> 00:47:47.280 I need to dump out of myself. 00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:57.039 So I actually found a therapist that I would go to weekly that helped me through the process, helped me get from here to founding Dementia Dignified Academy. 00:47:57.119 --> 00:47:59.440 So that's what we encourage caregivers to do. 00:47:59.760 --> 00:48:02.480 Don't be so like you can handle it because you can't. 00:48:02.639 --> 00:48:03.199 You can't handle it. 00:48:03.280 --> 00:48:04.000 You can't handle all this. 00:48:04.639 --> 00:48:05.840 You don't know

what's coming next. 00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:07.280 You don't know what just happened. 00:48:07.360 --> 00:48:09.920 It's over, and you still are not quite sure. 00:48:10.079 --> 00:48:10.239 Yes. 00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:11.360 What did I just go through? 00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:13.920 Well, again, Pastor, it has been my pleasure. 00:48:14.159 --> 00:48:14.880 I love my honor. 00:48:15.519 --> 00:48:16.239 I love you too. 00:48:16.559 --> 00:48:18.559 Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell my story. 00:48:18.800 --> 00:48:19.199 Of course. 00:48:19.360 --> 00:48:20.559 Your story is worth telling. 00:48:20.719 --> 00:48:21.199 Thank you. 00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:21.760 All right. 00:48:21.920 --> 00:48:22.880 God bless. 00:48:23.360 --> 00:48:24.639 The snuggle up. 00:48:27.440 --> 00:48:30.480 How wonderful is Pastor Jeanette Jordan? 00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:34.480 The lady just basically led with love. 00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:36.480 She didn't take no for an answer. 00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:39.840 It was a whole lot of stuff that she did not know. 00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:48.800 But it didn't stop her from giving her best effort and a whole lot of energy to make sure her husband was okay. 00:48:49.119 --> 00:48:57.519 My huge, huge takeaway from all of that is don't be limited by what your current knowledge is. 00:48:59.039 --> 00:48:59.840 So what? 00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:01.360 You haven't had training. 00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:02.000 So what? 00:49:02.079 --> 00:49:04.239 You don't know what Alzheimer's is. 00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:07.119 Neither does the person who has the disease. 00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:08.960 Get in there, do something. 00:49:09.039 --> 00:49:12.320 It's better to try something and make a few mistakes. 00:49:12.480 --> 00:49:20.079 Yes, she argued with her husband in the beginning because she didn't realize that he was now living in a different world. 00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:24.480 But as soon as she did, she modified her behavior. 00:49:25.199 --> 00:49:31.039 Overall, remember not to beat yourself up about what you don't know. 00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:43.199 Try something, ask questions, find dignified dementia academy, keep contacting us here at the Parenting Up community. 00:49:43.920 --> 00:49:45.599 We will make it through together. 00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:48.400 All silence is heavy, but we ain't gotta be. 00:49:48.719 --> 00:49:50.239 Thank you for tuning in. 00:49:50.400 --> 00:49:54.639 I mean, really, really, really thank you so very much for tuning in. 00:49:54.880 --> 00:50:02.880 Whether you're watching this on YouTube or if you're listening on your favorite podcast audio platform. 00:50:03.119 --> 00:50:06.159 Either way, wherever you are, subscribe. 00:50:06.400 --> 00:50:07.119 Come back. 00:50:07.280 --> 00:50:10.400 That's the way you're gonna know when we do something next. 00:50:10.639 --> 00:50:11.440 Y'all know how it is. 00:50:11.519 --> 00:50:12.559 I'm Jay Smiles. 00:50:12.639 --> 00:50:15.360 I might just drop something hot in the middle of the night.