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Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting.
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Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what
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it's really like to be a parent which I would
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say can be a little tricky.
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So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week
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we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're.
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Coping or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with
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your tips advice and of course tales of parenting.
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Woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times
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where none of us know what we're doing Hello, you're
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listening to Parents in Hell with.
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Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Can you say
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Josh Widdicombe? Josh Beckett.
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Well done.
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I like that, Josh. Very happy, very cute.
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One of the daughters, obviously, is the happiest time. Summer,
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aged 28 months. Is it the happiest time? And Harper,
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nine months, introducing the show. Mum Amy is originally from Warrington,
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but we now all reside in Dad James' hometown of Maidenhead.
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Maidenhead has a tour venue, I'm sure.
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Yeah, and Warrington.
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Sure you've done Maidenhead, Northern Farm in Maidenhead back in
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the day, Rob. Our kids are just 18 months apart
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and it's been hard work and we're so looking forward
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to the golden age when we can enjoy our holidays
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again when they are six, as Rob always says.
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No, four. I've just took two years off of that. Josh,
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it's four. I think from four.
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Is when holidays you enjoy them and get a bit
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of rest and it's not such much graft.
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So it's not six. Don't panic.
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You're not far off. Thanks for the laughs and relatability.
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You once got us through a road trip to Switzerland
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when our oldest was four months old. What a mistake
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that was.
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That would have been COVID.
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Yeah, that is brutal, isn't it? Do you like summer, Rob?
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Rank the seasons, please.
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For me, spring. Top one. Right in there. Right up
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your arse.
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Spring and autumn are my favourite because they're the transitional ones.
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They're full of excitement.
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Yes. It goes, for me, spring, autumn, summer, winter.
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So for me, it goes autumn, spring, winter, summer.
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Really?
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Winter over summer? No, because of Christmas.
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I love Christmas, Rob. Autumn's the best because the nights
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are drawing in and then Christmas is coming. Wait, sorry,
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are we watching Strictly? Christmas must be coming.
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Oh, I'm a celebrity. Get magic Christmas on. Here we go.
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Lovely. You know what?
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I think you might have maybe switched summer and winter around.
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Josh, are you all right?
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Yeah, Rose has just spoken to some BT engineers in
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the street and they've said it's their fault the internet
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is down and they're sorting it.
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Oh, okay, yes. You've had issues for a week now. Luckily,
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they're getting sorted, Josh.
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Exactly. Have I won you round to autumn then?
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No, actually, no, you haven't. Because winter isn't I'm a
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celebrity in Christmas. That's autumn still. Winter's January.
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Do you know what?
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There's something about January I do like, Rob, which is
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I like that feeling of, oh, God, I'm going to
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eat a vegetable and I'm going to go to the
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gym and I'm going to. start that project that i
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wanted like i like the feeling of renewal in january
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i hate that i hate i hate that i hate
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that the most i hate new year's resolutions little.
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Rats like you oh from the first tell you what
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give your own ass a slap and do it now
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it's november fucking crack on with it do that project
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now what's the number if you have to wait till
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then it'll never get done if you really want to
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do it you start today that's what i say josh Okay.
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So winter's fucked off. Winter's gone. It goes spring, autumn, summer, winter, January, bleh.
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I think summer's too hot these days.
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Yeah, I doubt about that as much. I wouldn't say
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the British summer's too hot for me.
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It's too hot for me.
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Everything's too hot for you.
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Even ear covering headphones are too hot for you.
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I know.
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That's why I've gone winter over summer. I'm not made
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for heat. I've never seen you in a big jumper.
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You are T-shirt and thin jacket or T-shirt and big coat.
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I've never seen you in a jumper.
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No, or I'd wear a sweatshirt.
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Yeah, even that is a thinner one. I'd never seen
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you in a thick knitted jumper like a fisherman.
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I cannot wear a knit.
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The eczema.
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I don't have eczema.
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Don't you? You sure? LAUGHTER Oh, asthma. You've got asthma.
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That's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I knew I had a ma. I can't wear a knit.
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It just makes me too hot. It just makes me
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too hot.
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We're just a couple of hot-blooded young guys, mate, out
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on the prowl.
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Yeah.
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I can only go clothes shopping in the summer when
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I'm wearing a shorts and T-shirt and swimming.
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I can't bear it. All the jumpers, all the layers
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I get. Oh, it's horrible. Not a fan of it.
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Going into a shop in a coat.
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Fuck it.
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LAUGHTER Going into a shop with a coat. That is
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such a simple thing, but it's horrible. Over your arm,
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then your forearm's sweaty.
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Oh, my God.
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Awful, awful stuff.
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And then you're carrying stuff, and then all of a
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sudden you're dripping with sweat because it's all lot inside,
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and you've got your big coat on, but you're trying
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to do a shop. Oh, it's horrible.
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Oh, fuck that.
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I do think the chiller aisles have got colder, though,
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in supermarkets since I used to work in them.
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Do you? Yeah. I get cold in them now. I
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never used to.
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When I worked in Safeway, which supermarket did you work in?
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I did Sainsbury's and Marks and Spencer.
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Oh, slightly more upmarket than Safeway.
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Yeah, or just like the greasy pole up to the
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top of the old M & S.
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Because is this just a Safeway terminology? So they'd have
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freezer section, fridge section. Yeah. And then they'd have fruit
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and veg, which was like fresh.
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And then you could always do the mushroom joke. Not
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mushroom for these on the shelf.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I once saw a stand-up do that to very little.
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What, in a gear?
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That's a dad joke at work. Your dad's do it
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at work.
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I once saw a stand-up. He brought me on, Rob.
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He did 10 minutes of puns about meeting his wife
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in the vegetable aisle, which was, I thought, there's not
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mushroom here. I don't know what the other ones were.
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She was the apple of my eye.
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She was the apple of my eye.
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Oh, that's a lot nicer.
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Yeah, yeah.
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She had a lovely pair. Yeah.
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Oh, a bit blue. She shoved a courgette up my arse.
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Stuff like that.
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Exactly. He walked on. You know a compere's meant to
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do crowd work. He walked on and walked straight to
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the mic. Just did 10 minutes of these puns and
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brought me on and I didn't know what to do
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with myself.
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I got brought on a corporate and it was for
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a lot of old geezers that love rugby and there
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was a rugby player, a really tall one.
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Oh, I followed him. I followed him. He's so good.
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He's impossible. The bloke that was in Harry
Potter. He's
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impossible to follow.
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He's fucking massive.
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What's his name?
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Is he called Martin Bayfield?
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Martin Bayfield. That's it. Big up, Bayfield. Great.
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If you want an ex-rugby pro as an after-dinner speaker,
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he's great.
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I'd say a bit blue.
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Does a lot of stuff about cocks in the changing room.
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All good stuff.
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But he's so big. He's so alpha. Does really sort
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of blue stuff and stories from rugby days and he's
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quite laddy.
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Yeah.
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And also he's been on Harry Potter, so he sprinkles down.
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He brought me on and I died hard.
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I died hard.
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He's unfollowable because he shakes your hand. It looks like
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he's introduced a child. He's six foot ten. He's a
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foot and a half taller than you.
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I know.
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And he's done all those jokes.
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Oh, man, I died.
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And do you know what? Darren Goff, the England bowler,
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was in the second row and I could see him
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willing me on. LAUGHTER desperately hoping it would get better
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for me but in reality we both knew where it
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was going yeah two people i've died after the worst
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at a corporate martin bayfield and william hayes Fucking unfollowable,
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William Hague.
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Well, that's difficult because it's impossible to follow Bayfield because
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you're so different to him. But with William Hague, you're
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so similar to him. Again, it's almost impossible to follow
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in a different way.
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Bayfield. Oh, we should have a Bayfield survivors group.
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All the other comedians that have died that thought they
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were good at comedy until Bayfield rocks up with his
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sports stories.
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Oh, my God. And just for the Hague one, Rob.
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Yeah, go on.
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The audience of the financial industry were far more in
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line with his views than they were with mine.
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Let's put it that way. I can imagine.
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He was an excellent booking for the audience and I
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was probably a misbooking. That's the way I'd view it.
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I need to find what Martin Bayfield finishes on. I
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think it's about another rugby player's penis or something.
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It's got to be about.
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Will Carling's dick or something, isn't it?
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But he's an excellent ad at Bayfield. Yeah, you can see.
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There's a little clip of him on Prime Performers. Look,
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if you want to book him.
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Oh, yeah, I bet he's good.
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Anyway, the episode today, we have got Tom Skinner on
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the show today. He's from The Apprentice. He's from the internet,
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famous for his inspirational speeches from Dino's Caf at 4 a.m.
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He's released his new book called Graft, all about his life.
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But he's a very interesting character, larger than life, very
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funny man. Also, he's got two baby twins and like
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a three or four-year-old boy, which we discussed earlier. So
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he's up early, he's busy, and we chat about life
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and kids. Enjoy our loyal listeners.
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What?
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We haven't got a name for the Parenting Hell listeners,
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have we?
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No, we haven't, have we? Like the lids. The lids.
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So, yeah, have a word podcast, call their listeners the lid.
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The off-menu people, I don't know what they call this,
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the hungry bastards. Right, well, send in suggestions of what
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we can call our listeners.
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You guys. Now, this is Tom Skinner.
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Enjoy.
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Tom Skinner, welcome to Parenting Health.
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Very excited to have you. I'm buzzing to be here.
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Thanks for having me.
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It's exciting.
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Josh, have you met Tom?
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No, but obviously I'm a fan from the moment I
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saw him and thought, he's like you.
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We get a lot of people saying that
we're the same.
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You made your name on The Apprentice nationally, locally, for
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other means.
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It was The Apprentice.
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And then, obviously, you got more famous, I think, through
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your breakfasts.
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Just going Dino's Cat. Talk me through your breakfast, Tom.
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Yeah, so talk us through how you got so big
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on TikTok, because that sort of pushed you on into
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getting a book deal, really, isn't it, as well?
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So, basically, like, I knew it was going to be
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markets still sell furniture I've got a boxing gym but
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we always start work at like three four in the
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morning if we're going down the warehouse if we're going
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to a market if we're going to load up and
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there's a cafe called Dino's Cafe right in the new
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Spitalfield market in Leighton in East London and we go
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in there with the boys and we get a nice
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big bit of breakfast And it just sort of happened
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last year. I've always given a little motivational, come on,
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let's watch. We're going to go out and give it
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under the 10%. We're not messing about. We ain't going
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home until we're proud. We're going to earn loads of reddies.
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And then my mate was like, we should film this.
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And we just filmed it as a laugh.
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Stuck it on.
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And by the way, we always have like lasagna.
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It's not egg and bacon. It's a main meal.
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Roast dinners. Roast dinner with a bit of grub.
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And we just filmed it, stuck it on the internet
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because people might like to listen to this. And I've
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done it and it sort of went viral straight away.
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And then I thought I'd do it again, and I'd
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do it again. Because I'm in there every day, so
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it didn't really make no sense to me. Pete was
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just like, this guy's just waking up at four o'clock.
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He's like spreading positivity and smashing down like 17 roast
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potatoes at 4.30 in the morning.
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It's inspiring, Tom.
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I think that's your charm, though, what sort of one
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you so many fans on The Apprentices. Like your book's
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called Graft. You work really hard, and you've got a
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busy home life now. So you've got three kids.
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Three kids, mate. Nightmare. And what ages?
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So Henry is coming up to three in November, start
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of November, and the twins are four months old.
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Oh, my word.
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They're twin girls.
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What was the moment like when they said at the scan,
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this is twins?
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00:11:32.460 --> 00:11:34.279
Mate, do you know what happened? You couldn't make this up.
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00:11:34.320 --> 00:11:37.320
So I've got a third sense. I'm not like Mystic Meg,
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00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:38.740
but I was like, imagine it's twins.
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Anyway, going to the hospital. Do you mean a sixth sense?
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00:11:42.080 --> 00:11:42.779
No, fifth sense.
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00:11:43.269 --> 00:11:45.710
No, no, you said you've got a third. Most people
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00:11:45.730 --> 00:11:54.230
have got five. Oh, well, I've only got three. You've
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got an extra sense, is what you said. I'm a
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00:11:56.149 --> 00:11:57.009
couple of senses behind.
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And one of them is you can tell the twins
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are coming.
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That's it. Yeah, I'm saving up for the rest.
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00:12:03.429 --> 00:12:06.450
So we've gone to the hospital and Sinead is laying
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on this big sort of like chair thing and the
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00:12:08.570 --> 00:12:11.509
nurse has started rubbing jelly into her belly and All
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of a sudden, there's a big screen in front of her,
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00:12:13.190 --> 00:12:16.200
so I can see clear as day there are two
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babies on that screen.
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00:12:17.379 --> 00:12:19.860
I can see it. Oh, my gosh. Tiny little babies.
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00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:23.200
The nurse goes to my wife and she goes, oh,
309
00:12:23.240 --> 00:12:27.559
my God, we've got one healthy heartbeat and we've got
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two healthy heartbeats. And my wife, she named bless her, went,
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00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:33.679
is it normal for the baby to have two heartbeats?
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LAUGHTER I've looked up and I've gone, you what?
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We're having twins, babe.
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I imagine you've always wanted quite a big family, Tom.
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00:12:50.669 --> 00:12:52.950
Honestly, it's the best thing that's ever happened. I love
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00:12:52.970 --> 00:12:54.309
my kids. It's great.
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00:12:54.350 --> 00:12:56.590
I love getting home from work and little Emery just
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00:12:56.610 --> 00:12:59.029
showing me his poo in the potty. It's fantastic.
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00:12:59.049 --> 00:13:03.909
What a welcome home. Yeah. Daddy, look, I've done poo-poo present.
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00:13:04.090 --> 00:13:07.529
No. What time do you get up normally anyway?
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00:13:08.269 --> 00:13:10.509
If I ain't working about five or six, I don't
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really sleep that well. Like last night, I've basically, I caught,
323
00:13:14.179 --> 00:13:15.620
been to work a week, had to get my little
324
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boy from nursery on Friday because he had a little
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00:13:17.480 --> 00:13:19.100
tummy bug and he was being sick. And I caught
326
00:13:19.159 --> 00:13:21.940
it yesterday. So yesterday I was all night being sick,
327
00:13:22.139 --> 00:13:25.120
both ends basically. So I've had not a great night's
328
00:13:25.139 --> 00:13:26.679
sleep today, but it's good because I've got a day off.
329
00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:28.200
So I'm doing these bits and pieces reviews.
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00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:28.740
Right.
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00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:31.379
So this is a day off to you. I'd say, Tom,
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00:13:31.419 --> 00:13:33.019
you do better with less sleep than Josh.
333
00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:35.720
Yeah. I'm not ideal for it. So what time do
334
00:13:35.740 --> 00:13:36.279
you go to bed?
335
00:13:37.149 --> 00:13:39.759
Probably about 10, 10 o'clock-ish, 10, 11.
336
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A gap of three.
337
00:13:41.100 --> 00:13:41.679
Three or three.
338
00:13:44.090 --> 00:13:46.110
So having kids didn't affect you in terms of a
339
00:13:46.149 --> 00:13:47.009
sleep thing at all?
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00:13:47.470 --> 00:13:48.250
Mate, I'll be fair.
341
00:13:48.269 --> 00:13:51.029
I've always been a really light sleeper. I mean, last night, obviously,
342
00:13:51.049 --> 00:13:53.879
it was terrible. I've hardly any sleep. But it doesn't
343
00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:55.700
really affect me. Like, if the babies wake up, if
344
00:13:55.720 --> 00:13:57.899
everybody wakes up, I'm sort of awake anyway.
345
00:13:58.220 --> 00:14:00.759
And how hands-on are you? Because obviously, you're working at
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00:14:00.779 --> 00:14:03.179
the markets and up early and out the door. You
347
00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:04.500
came on 8 Out of 10 Cats the other day
348
00:14:04.539 --> 00:14:05.320
up in Manchester.
349
00:14:05.559 --> 00:14:06.200
You're doing this.
350
00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:08.379
You'll do a big book promo tour, I imagine, and
351
00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:10.860
stuff like that. So you are super busy because you've
352
00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:12.720
almost still got your day job and then also this
353
00:14:12.759 --> 00:14:15.409
sort of like TV internet personality job.
354
00:14:15.730 --> 00:14:19.860
Yeah. I'm just really greedy. Yeah. Just extremely greedy. I
355
00:14:19.879 --> 00:14:20.440
want everything.
356
00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:22.500
So how do you fit that in with parenting then?
357
00:14:22.580 --> 00:14:25.379
Is Sinead doing the majority of it and you're doing
358
00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:26.740
bits when you can or do you try and do
359
00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:27.480
more when you're at home?
360
00:14:27.500 --> 00:14:31.110
Do you split it? So Sinead is the governor. Honestly,
361
00:14:31.139 --> 00:14:31.759
let's be honest.
362
00:14:31.990 --> 00:14:37.710
If it's like a nappy changing ratio, she's on like 98%.
363
00:14:37.710 --> 00:14:39.669
My wife's amazing and yeah, she's a legend.
364
00:14:39.730 --> 00:14:41.799
But when I've got a day off, I'll take Henry out.
365
00:14:41.809 --> 00:14:44.250
I'll take the twins out. I'm hands on when I'm indoors,
366
00:14:44.669 --> 00:14:46.980
but nappies and that. I'm not the best at that.
367
00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:47.399
You know what I mean?
368
00:14:47.419 --> 00:14:49.159
I do bottle time. I might be doing that. Yeah,
369
00:14:49.179 --> 00:14:51.019
I do feeding time. I do all the other bits
370
00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:54.019
and pieces. When the nappy comes, no thank you.
371
00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:54.960
Really?
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00:14:55.179 --> 00:14:56.340
What's your problem with nappies?
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00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:58.179
I think I made it clear from the start when
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00:14:58.200 --> 00:15:00.080
we had Emery. The first nappy I changed, I was
375
00:15:00.100 --> 00:15:03.809
sick over the baby. So she's... You're.
376
00:15:03.289 --> 00:15:05.590
Sick on the baby. Well, I mean, I am. But.
377
00:15:07.690 --> 00:15:09.389
Are you not very good with that kind of, that
378
00:15:09.429 --> 00:15:10.409
poo and wee and stuff?
379
00:15:10.610 --> 00:15:13.320
I mean, weasel and dill, it's the poos, like, I mean,
380
00:15:13.340 --> 00:15:14.899
we're potty training them at the minute and what I've
381
00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:17.120
had to do is buy a little tube of hot
382
00:15:17.139 --> 00:15:17.740
wheels cars.
383
00:15:17.960 --> 00:15:19.620
You get 10 cars in a tube. Yeah.
384
00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:21.809
And I've said, every time you go in that potty
385
00:15:21.830 --> 00:15:23.190
and do a poo, you can take out a little
386
00:15:23.210 --> 00:15:24.230
car and play with it, yeah?
387
00:15:24.250 --> 00:15:27.440
Yeah. So obviously now I've got about 400 up-wheel cars
388
00:15:27.500 --> 00:15:31.100
around here. Yeah, he's regular. But now he's just making
389
00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:32.600
them up. He's like, Daddy, look, poo. I'm like, there's
390
00:15:32.620 --> 00:15:33.820
nothing in there. Carpeties?
391
00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:37.870
So do you do the wee nappies, but the poo ones, Sinead?
392
00:15:37.929 --> 00:15:39.549
The wee's are all right. It's the poo. I'll get
393
00:15:39.590 --> 00:15:40.929
the gag and I'll... Really?
394
00:15:41.169 --> 00:15:42.750
So have you always had a problem with poo?
395
00:15:46.169 --> 00:15:48.289
You should work on news night has it always been
396
00:15:48.309 --> 00:15:49.840
a bit of any of that kind of stuff makes
397
00:15:49.860 --> 00:15:50.309
you a bit.
398
00:15:50.580 --> 00:15:52.480
Gagged mate you know what it's like especially when they
399
00:15:52.519 --> 00:15:54.360
come out like runny or grainy and they're all up
400
00:15:54.379 --> 00:15:56.919
their back and they stink it's the.
401
00:15:56.820 --> 00:15:59.519
Worst thing ever they are brutal to be fair are.
402
00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:02.379
Your kids already can you see that they've got your
403
00:16:02.419 --> 00:16:05.980
kind of big personality is Henry.
404
00:16:05.720 --> 00:16:09.610
Is he a little shit yes yeah A chip off
405
00:16:09.639 --> 00:16:10.210
the old block.
406
00:16:10.509 --> 00:16:13.129
He's already trying to do a deal on Hot Wheels cars.
407
00:16:13.169 --> 00:16:15.370
He's on the driveway now flagging down cars to see
408
00:16:15.409 --> 00:16:19.250
if he's got some bits for sale. I mean, the
409
00:16:19.269 --> 00:16:21.830
twins are just babies still, but they're just starting to laugh,
410
00:16:21.870 --> 00:16:23.509
which is beautiful to see them laugh and all that.
411
00:16:23.570 --> 00:16:25.289
I'm loving that. And they're just starting to rock a
412
00:16:25.309 --> 00:16:25.870
little bit now.
413
00:16:26.490 --> 00:16:29.750
And Henry's just a little character. He just makes me die.
414
00:16:29.769 --> 00:16:31.889
The things he comes out with. Yesterday he was going, Daddy, Daddy,
415
00:16:32.149 --> 00:16:34.679
there's this toy. The dog goes like this. And I
416
00:16:34.700 --> 00:16:35.340
was going, oh, yeah.
417
00:16:35.480 --> 00:16:37.500
He's going, you do this. And I was going, all right,
418
00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:39.330
I'll do this. Like that. I don't know why my
419
00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:41.909
son's got a strange accent. No, he sounds like he's
420
00:16:41.929 --> 00:16:43.289
just learning English. Yeah.
421
00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:50.139
So with your work and stuff now then, do you
422
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:51.940
think you'll always work on the markets and stuff like that?
423
00:16:51.960 --> 00:16:53.379
Or would you ever hand it over to anyone and
424
00:16:53.399 --> 00:16:55.759
do other stuff? Because I can't believe how much you're
425
00:16:55.779 --> 00:16:58.559
still sort of doing long, like 12-hour shifts. Or is
426
00:16:58.580 --> 00:17:00.740
it all nonsense on social media? Or are you actually
427
00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:01.580
out doing that?
428
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:04.970
Honestly, it really is like... I just love grafting, always
429
00:17:04.990 --> 00:17:05.880
have done from a young kid.
430
00:17:06.099 --> 00:17:09.500
The markets I've done since I was 14, 15 years old.
431
00:17:10.140 --> 00:17:12.180
And all I hold my hands up, I don't do
432
00:17:12.220 --> 00:17:13.799
them anywhere near as what I used to do 10
433
00:17:13.799 -->
00:17:15.059
years ago. I used to do them every single day.
434
00:17:15.079 --> 00:17:17.319
But we do the odd one or two here and there.
435
00:17:17.339 --> 00:17:19.180
And it's great to go out there, see what the
436
00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:21.740
market's like. It's great to support local businesses. It's great
437
00:17:21.759 --> 00:17:23.059
to give people a deal because obviously I still get
438
00:17:23.099 --> 00:17:23.599
things cheaper.
439
00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:23.940
Than everyone else.
440
00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:26.039
Do you know what I mean? The markets have sort
441
00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:27.740
of not become about the money for me now. It's
442
00:17:27.779 --> 00:17:30.500
more because I love them. And obviously when we've got
443
00:17:30.519 --> 00:17:33.079
a quiet day with our businesses, it keeps me staffed.
444
00:17:33.539 --> 00:17:35.140
In work, it's another day's wages, do you know what
445
00:17:35.180 --> 00:17:36.200
I mean? It's another thing to do. So if we've
446
00:17:36.220 --> 00:17:37.369
got a dead week and we've got a bit of
447
00:17:37.390 --> 00:17:38.630
stock down, I say, come, let's go and do a
448
00:17:38.650 --> 00:17:40.869
market on Thursday. We'll go and make a few hundred
449
00:17:40.910 --> 00:17:42.930
quid each, bit of beer money, we have a laugh,
450
00:17:42.970 --> 00:17:43.910
and I just love doing them.
451
00:17:44.250 --> 00:17:47.049
What's the secret of being a good salesman on a market?
452
00:17:47.329 --> 00:17:50.579
Because I did a jumble sale yesterday, and I was
453
00:17:50.700 --> 00:17:53.319
really struggling to shift my copy of Prince Harry's Spare.
454
00:17:53.779 --> 00:17:56.660
It was a fucking nightmare. Should you leave people or
455
00:17:56.680 --> 00:17:58.680
should you be approaching them? Do you know what I mean? Like,
456
00:17:59.220 --> 00:18:00.640
if I go up to someone's stall and they're all
457
00:18:00.740 --> 00:18:01.829
over me, it puts me off.
458
00:18:02.490 --> 00:18:04.539
I've always been a great believer of make people like you,
459
00:18:04.650 --> 00:18:07.440
make people laugh, and then they'll buy from you. People
460
00:18:07.539 --> 00:18:09.599
don't like a pushy salesperson when they're on you.
461
00:18:09.859 --> 00:18:12.319
Hello, mate. Stick it up. You look good in that.
462
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:15.349
I think let people crack on, make them smile, make
463
00:18:15.369 --> 00:18:17.849
them trust you, make them laugh. And once someone likes you,
464
00:18:18.190 --> 00:18:19.150
you make them fall in love with you and you
465
00:18:19.170 --> 00:18:19.789
can sell them anything.
466
00:18:21.109 --> 00:18:22.890
You sound like a cult leader now. You know, like
467
00:18:22.910 --> 00:18:24.170
a lot of Netflix. Yeah.
468
00:18:25.549 --> 00:18:28.829
So we're from similar backgrounds. You're Essex, I'm South East London.
469
00:18:29.230 --> 00:18:31.099
What did you learn growing up of things that you
470
00:18:31.119
--> 00:18:34.140
want to instill in your kids from your parents' generation?
471
00:18:34.420 --> 00:18:36.319
And what things do you think, now, do you know what? Actually,
472
00:18:36.339 --> 00:18:38.259
that was a little bit too old school, a little
473
00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:40.099
bit too full on. I want to go down a
474
00:18:40.119 --> 00:18:42.680
bit more of a more gentler route. What's your sort
475
00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:44.740
of plan? Because you've got, they're young still. You've got
476
00:18:44.779 --> 00:18:45.220
sort of like.
477
00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:46.220
Yeah, it's early for me.
478
00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:48.559
But I remember things I used to love doing was
479
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:50.680
when I was like 14 or 15, and that sounds terrible,
480
00:18:50.700 --> 00:18:51.849
but I used to love going to the pub with
481
00:18:51.869 --> 00:18:53.990
my dad. They'll go, oh, yeah, go over to Cost
482
00:18:54.029 --> 00:18:56.230
Cutters and get us a box of fags. Back then,
483
00:18:56.309 --> 00:18:58.069
fags were like four quid. And I'll give me a
484
00:18:58.109 --> 00:18:59.289
tenner there, and they'll go, get them, but I've got
485
00:18:59.309 --> 00:19:01.109
to keep the change. And we'd walk over, and I
486
00:19:01.109 --> 00:19:02.650
know the geezer in the Cost Cutters, and he'd, like,
487
00:19:02.690 --> 00:19:04.349
sell me a box of fags, and I'd, like, pocket
488
00:19:04.369 --> 00:19:06.900
six quid. Obviously, that's not going to happen with my boy,
489
00:19:06.910 --> 00:19:08.349
do you know what I mean? I just want to
490
00:19:08.390 --> 00:19:12.130
teach him the good value manners, obviously very important, being polite,
491
00:19:12.190 --> 00:19:12.960
and hard work.
492
00:19:12.980 --> 00:19:15.140
Look, hard work has made me successful.
493
00:19:14.740 --> 00:19:16.460
Just from working hard and getting on with it, so.
494
00:19:17.109 --> 00:19:18.430
I'd just like to instil that into them.
495
00:19:18.589 --> 00:19:20.410
My mum and dad always made me graft paper rounds
496
00:19:20.470 --> 00:19:22.650
at 12, 13. You've just got to get out there
497
00:19:22.670 --> 00:19:23.710
and give it a go, and I think that's what
498
00:19:23.730 --> 00:19:24.730
I want to push into them.
499
00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:26.670
Take him and your daughters to work on the market
500
00:19:26.690 --> 00:19:29.329
when they're older? Yeah, definitely. There's no better school than
501
00:19:29.450 --> 00:19:30.690
the school of reality, is there, really?
502
00:19:30.789 --> 00:19:32.569
If you push someone in there, out there, in the big,
503
00:19:32.589 --> 00:19:34.809
bad world, if I hadn't have done the markets when
504
00:19:34.829 --> 00:19:36.890
I was a young age, I wouldn't be doing things
505
00:19:36.910 --> 00:19:39.289
that I'm doing now, standing in front of 100 people talking,
506
00:19:39.349 --> 00:19:41.329
because I wouldn't have the confidence, and it's built me
507
00:19:41.390 --> 00:19:42.109
up to be like that.
508
00:19:42.789 --> 00:19:44.859
And what was it like that first day when you
509
00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:46.619
had to do a market? Were you nervous?
510
00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:48.460
I don't even remember doing my first.
511
00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:50.750
I remember sitting up stools hard when I was a
512
00:19:50.789 --> 00:19:52.470
kid you'd set up stalls especially in the winter and
513
00:19:52.490 --> 00:19:54.619
your hands were like These were these metal setups and
514
00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:56.339
your hands are freezing, you know what I mean? And
515
00:19:56.359 --> 00:19:58.200
your fingerless gloves trying to get them in. And I
516
00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:00.019
remember they'd go like, do you want to come back.
517
00:20:00.059 --> 00:20:01.710
Put it down later on? And you'd go, yeah, go on,
518
00:20:01.740 --> 00:20:03.180
I'll do it for another five or a tenner.
519
00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:05.890
I remember like, some would go, we're busy on Saturday,
520
00:20:05.910 --> 00:20:07.230
do you want to earn 40 quid or 30 quid?
521
00:20:07.309 --> 00:20:08.950
And you'd think, yeah. Like when you're a kid, that's
522
00:20:08.990 --> 00:20:10.009
loads of money, you know what I mean?
523
00:20:10.190 --> 00:20:10.450
Yeah.
524
00:20:10.630 --> 00:20:12.890
I remember when I was about 18 and I was
525
00:20:12.910 --> 00:20:15.140
doing them on my own, My dad.
526
00:20:14.980 --> 00:20:16.259
Was selling a load of handbags.
527
00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:17.940
So was he a market trader as well?
528
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:20.849
Yeah, but he stopped doing the markets probably 20 years ago.
529
00:20:20.869 --> 00:20:25.910
He had a women's little boutique he shopped selling just crap.
530
00:20:25.990 --> 00:20:30.950
He was just like purses and handbags and pashminas and
531
00:20:31.150 --> 00:20:33.460
two for a fiver and things like that. But he
532
00:20:33.480 --> 00:20:34.940
was just off the market and he went, I've got
533
00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:36.920
a few hundred bags here. All the zips are broke.
534
00:20:36.980 --> 00:20:38.799
Do you want them for a pound each? I mean,
535
00:20:38.819 --> 00:20:40.740
you're going in, but it's all broken bags. And I
536
00:20:40.740 --> 00:20:42.519
remember going and dagging the market, putting them all in.
537
00:20:42.519 --> 00:20:44.000
I was sitting there all the night before fixing them
538
00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:46.000
up and all that. I was sort of always buying
539
00:20:46.039 --> 00:20:47.119
and selling and giving it a go, and I just
540
00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:48.180
remember enjoying doing that.
541
00:20:48.589 --> 00:20:49.670
You've got to love it to do it.
542
00:20:50.150 --> 00:20:52.130
Yeah, you did some store stuff, didn't you, Rob?
543
00:20:52.450 --> 00:20:54.650
I used to work at a Columbia Road flower market. Yeah,
544
00:20:54.690 --> 00:20:55.309
brilliant market.
545
00:20:55.369 --> 00:20:57.269
Yeah, my brother's
mate had a shop there, but then
546
00:20:57.289 --> 00:20:59.049
I was selling compost at the front of it on
547
00:20:59.069 --> 00:20:59.509
a little stall.
548
00:20:59.710 --> 00:21:00.549
And were you good at it?
549
00:21:00.930 --> 00:21:03.079
I was all right at it, but I was so tired.
550
00:21:03.099 --> 00:21:04.980
I was only 14, so I wasn't as confident as
551
00:21:05.079 --> 00:21:06.160
I am now kind of thing.
552
00:21:06.180 --> 00:21:06.259
Yeah.
553
00:21:06.950 --> 00:21:08.730
I remember getting picked up at like 3, 4 a.m.
554
00:21:08.779 --> 00:21:09.359
On a Sunday.
555
00:21:09.410 --> 00:21:13.119
All I can remember is how easy it is to
556
00:21:13.180 --> 00:21:13.880
drive through London.
557
00:21:14.779 --> 00:21:16.299
Yeah, no traffic. No traffic.
558
00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:19.119
That was the best part. It's like 28 days later
559
00:21:19.140 --> 00:21:22.039
in the morning. Tom, were you there for the births?
560
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:24.119
How were the births of Henry and then the twins?
561
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:26.299
Do you know the story about the twins? No, I don't.
562
00:21:27.019 --> 00:21:27.740
I wonder now, though.
563
00:21:28.279 --> 00:21:30.579
I will start with the twins because it's epic. So
564
00:21:30.599 --> 00:21:32.000
I'm sweating a little bit because I'm a bit under
565
00:21:32.019 --> 00:21:32.440
the weather.
566
00:21:32.460 --> 00:21:33.119
Sorry. It's all right.
567
00:21:33.490 --> 00:21:35.490
If you need to go and be sick or shit yourself, don't.
568
00:21:35.289 --> 00:21:37.109
Worry about it. I've got a bucket here, don't worry.
569
00:21:37.130 --> 00:21:38.809
Or have a shit and then be sick because you've
570
00:21:38.849 --> 00:21:40.309
seen some shit, but that's another option.
571
00:21:40.349 --> 00:21:41.769
I'll send a little Hot Wheel to you for doing
572
00:21:41.789 --> 00:21:42.130
a good job.
573
00:21:42.190 --> 00:21:43.130
Thank you.
574
00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:46.680
So when the twins were born, so basically I got
575
00:21:46.740 --> 00:21:48.240
offered probably one of the best jobs I've ever been
576
00:21:48.259 --> 00:21:50.099
in my life, and that was to manage West Ham
577
00:21:50.119 --> 00:21:50.579
in America.
578
00:21:51.269 --> 00:21:55.049
Right, okay. Essentially it happened. So it was like five,
579
00:21:55.170 --> 00:21:56.509
six days before Prague.
580
00:21:56.690 --> 00:22:00.380
Was that when West Ham went and won the Europa Conference?
581
00:22:00.630 --> 00:22:01.299
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
582
00:22:01.579 --> 00:22:03.279
But this had been booked up since January, so we
583
00:22:03.299 --> 00:22:04.480
didn't know if we were going to get that far.
584
00:22:04.500 --> 00:22:06.710
But the plan was if West Ham... We're going to
585
00:22:06.730 --> 00:22:08.269
go to America, manage the team, then.
586
00:22:08.150 --> 00:22:08.670
Fly to Prague.
587
00:22:08.690 --> 00:22:09.990
What do you mean by manage the team?
588
00:22:10.150 --> 00:22:12.279
So I was managing the West Ham Legends team.
589
00:22:12.339 --> 00:22:15.269
So it was like all our best players from like 10,
590
00:22:15.269 --> 00:22:19.400
15 years ago. You had Matty Jarvis, Marlon Harewood, Anton Ferdinand,
591
00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:21.740
Elliot Wald, like some brilliant, brilliant players.
592
00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:24.359
You had Jimmy Walker. And he said he was fucking sick.
593
00:22:24.380 --> 00:22:26.369
But it's like your dream as a West Ham fan
594
00:22:26.380 --> 00:22:27.140
to all these people.
595
00:22:27.160 --> 00:22:28.849
Yeah, so it was like, these are like the players
596
00:22:28.890 --> 00:22:31.829
that I've watched growing up and I absolutely love them.
597
00:22:31.849 --> 00:22:32.789
Where in America was you?
598
00:22:32.910 --> 00:22:34.930
North Carolina. Oh, so what a gig.
599
00:22:34.950 --> 00:22:37.490
You're getting paid to go over there, all social media
600
00:22:37.509 --> 00:22:38.250
stuff with a club.
601
00:22:38.269 --> 00:22:38.670
It's insane.
602
00:22:38.829 --> 00:22:41.589
Dortmund was out there. Wolves was out there. Insane.
603
00:22:41.609 --> 00:22:43.869
It was a seven-a-side tournament and they've asked me to
604
00:22:43.890 --> 00:22:46.849
manage them. So basically, I've gone to Sinead. The babies
605
00:22:46.910 --> 00:22:47.589
weren't due.
606
00:22:48.250 --> 00:22:50.230
Look at him. He's putting his hands up. Here we go.
607
00:22:50.250 --> 00:22:55.130
The babies weren't due. until the start of July. Okay,
608
00:22:55.210 --> 00:22:57.150
and when's this? When are you out there? Well, it's
609
00:22:57.190 --> 00:23:00.079
the 1st of June, basically. It's right at the start
610
00:23:00.119 --> 00:23:02.039
of June. Like a month before the baby's due.
611
00:23:02.059 --> 00:23:04.359
A month before, and obviously Prague was on the, what
612
00:23:04.380 --> 00:23:07.619
was it, 6th, 7th? Anyway, it was five days out there.
613
00:23:08.180 --> 00:23:09.960
One day I was travelling. I've gone to her, look, baby,
614
00:23:09.980 --> 00:23:12.400
if you don't want me to go, I will stay home.
615
00:23:12.759 --> 00:23:16.039
But it's West Ham. Imagine the team, like, I can't
616
00:23:16.059 --> 00:23:16.609
turn this down.
617
00:23:16.920 --> 00:23:19.069
And also, it is a month until they're due.
618
00:23:19.329 --> 00:23:21.819
So I'm all at me. I've rung Sinead's sister. She's
619
00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:24.599
moved in round my house. I'm going for five days. Now,
620
00:23:24.660 --> 00:23:27.559
I've never been to America before in my life. I've
621
00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:32.349
never been there. You know what's happening, don't you? I've
622
00:23:32.390 --> 00:23:35.230
got on the plane and because it was all booked
623
00:23:35.250 --> 00:23:37.029
in a bit last minute, all the players had thought
624
00:23:37.049 --> 00:23:39.730
it all over the plane. I've ended up sitting next
625
00:23:39.750 -->
00:23:43.349
to these two Americans, lovely couple, proper Americans, like legends.
626
00:23:43.369 --> 00:23:45.789
They was cracking me up. We had the best flight ever.
627
00:23:45.809 --> 00:23:47.890
They was talking about, they'd been over to London. They
628
00:23:47.910 --> 00:23:49.339
tried fish and chips. And I was like, I've never
629
00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:49.940
been to America.
630
00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:51.700
They must have thought you was on some sort of
631
00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:54.140
caricature version of a London, like a paid character.
632
00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:57.579
Yeah. Like we were talking about cockney rhyming, slagging, all sorts.
633
00:23:57.619 --> 00:24:00.259
Like it was brilliant. But we got there. As we've
634
00:24:00.299 --> 00:24:02.480
got to the gate, everyone's.
635
00:24:02.140 --> 00:24:05.579
Gone through and there's just literally the biggest security guard
636
00:24:05.740 --> 00:24:07.369
and his two coppers with guns.
637
00:24:07.849 --> 00:24:10.109
Just picked me up, took me into a room, and
638
00:24:10.150 --> 00:24:14.150
I was like, oh, no. And then I sat there,
639
00:24:14.269 --> 00:24:16.069
and all the team obviously couldn't wait. They'd gone back
640
00:24:16.089 --> 00:24:17.029
to the hotel. I was in there for a couple
641
00:24:17.069 --> 00:24:17.470
of hours.
642
00:24:18.210 --> 00:24:21.349
Basically, I didn't declare that from many years ago, I
643
00:24:21.529 --> 00:24:23.289
had a couple of little criminal records.
644
00:24:23.329 --> 00:24:27.329
Nothing bad, yeah. A couple of little criminal records.
645
00:24:27.369 --> 00:24:30.190
As many criminal records as senses. Just a couple of
646
00:24:30.210 --> 00:24:33.059
little petty stuff. Petty stuff that I'd done when I
647
00:24:33.099 --> 00:24:38.160
was a child, yeah. Anyway, so because I didn't declare it,
648
00:24:38.180 --> 00:24:39.500
they was like, we're going to send you back. And
649
00:24:39.539 --> 00:24:43.109
I literally sat there pleading with these American police officers
650
00:24:43.390 --> 00:24:45.230
and these border control people, talking.
651
00:24:45.269 --> 00:24:46.390
I was like, I'm managing West Ham.
652
00:24:46.410 --> 00:24:47.309
I was like, shut up.
653
00:24:47.549 --> 00:24:50.789
I'm literally managing West Ham, yeah? Elliot Ward. You must
654
00:24:50.829 --> 00:24:53.210
have heard of Elliot Ward. Come on. Come on.
655
00:24:53.309 --> 00:24:56.079
Anton Ferdinand, Rio's brother.
656
00:24:56.170 --> 00:24:59.599
The guy had pulled up all bits about me on Google.
657
00:24:59.940 --> 00:25:00.500
Yeah, yeah.
658
00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:02.980
And he was like, I'm reading your social media, boy.
659
00:25:03.740 --> 00:25:05.349
Do you like drugs? I was like, I met a
660
00:25:05.349 --> 00:25:06.230
man in West Ham, mate.
661
00:25:06.250 --> 00:25:06.970
He's like, okay.
662
00:25:07.710 --> 00:25:08.789
You sure you don't like drugs?
663
00:25:08.809 --> 00:25:10.910
Sometimes I like to party a little bit, have a
664
00:25:10.950 --> 00:25:12.829
few drinks, things get passed around.
665
00:25:12.849 --> 00:25:13.730
Do you like drugs?
666
00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:15.119
I was like, mate, I swear to you, I don't
667
00:25:15.140 --> 00:25:16.339
like drugs.
668
00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:20.720
What from someone eating a lasagna at 3am makes you think, well,
669
00:25:20.779 --> 00:25:22.299
it would make you think they're on drugs actually.
670
00:25:23.059 --> 00:25:25.660
But anyway, finally, we've got into the country. They've let
671
00:25:25.700 --> 00:25:27.829
me in. West Ham have spoke to them. Basically, I
672
00:25:27.869 --> 00:25:29.309
was told I can't go to America until I do
673
00:25:29.329 --> 00:25:31.190
a proper visa in the future. But this time he's
674
00:25:31.210 --> 00:25:33.269
letting me off because he's bringing people to the town
675
00:25:33.650 --> 00:25:35.349
of Raleigh and it's going to be good for the community.
676
00:25:35.369 --> 00:25:36.150
So I was like, happy days.
677
00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:41.759
So I've now somehow got into America, got to the hotel.
678
00:25:42.299 --> 00:25:44.359
Then we've had a bit of dinner. Next day, we're
679
00:25:44.380 --> 00:25:46.380
doing a training day. So I'm walking about a big
680
00:25:46.420 --> 00:25:49.960
American flag. I'm on ESPN. I'm the governor out there.
681
00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:55.140
I'm giving it boss to everyone. Tom Skinner in America
682
00:25:55.200 --> 00:25:56.420
taking over. It's the best day of my life.
683
00:25:56.720 --> 00:25:58.900
Because I've never been to America. I want to go
684
00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:00.420
to a diner. I want to do this. You might
685
00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:02.460
not be invited back. Yeah.
686
00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:06.160
Anyway, the third day, this is the day of our first...
687
00:26:06.259 --> 00:26:08.599
game we've got two games lined up now I've put
688
00:26:08.619 --> 00:26:10.420
my manager's kit on like I am ready.
689
00:26:10.259 --> 00:26:12.119
What's your manager's kit just to oh it's.
690
00:26:12.059 --> 00:26:13.559
Like the West Ham one all the zip up the
691
00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:14.900
Betway he's just the governor what.
692
00:26:14.819 --> 00:26:19.019
All the players are wearing yeah yeah basically.
693
00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:21.880
Yeah full kit in my element like couldn't sleep I'm
694
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:24.380
writing all things down but inside my belly I had
695
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:26.250
this weird little feeling that something went right I don't
696
00:26:26.269 --> 00:26:28.730
know what it was so I've rung Sinead now you
697
00:26:28.769 --> 00:26:31.130
guys was in London was five hours in front or
698
00:26:31.170 --> 00:26:33.130
six hours in front so it's about one o'clock and
699
00:26:33.170 --> 00:26:35.089
it's nice and early in the morning in America so
700
00:26:35.170 --> 00:26:37.230
I've Once you're playing on stage, come on,
I've got
701
00:26:37.250 --> 00:26:40.809
to go to the hospital about lunchtime or whenever it
702
00:26:40.849 --> 00:26:43.609
was because we've got to just check up and they've
703
00:26:43.630 --> 00:26:45.430
got to book in the date for the cesarean because
704
00:26:45.450 --> 00:26:46.950
their twins have to come out of the cesarean.
705
00:26:47.299 --> 00:26:47.519
Yeah.
706
00:26:47.579 --> 00:26:48.640
So I've gone, oh, fantastic.
707
00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:52.079
Got ready, gone downstairs, thought nothing of it, had a
708
00:26:52.099 --> 00:26:54.920
bit of breakfast, chatted with Savon Hines, had a bacon
709
00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:56.500
roll with Savon Hines.
710
00:26:57.019 --> 00:26:57.279
Oh, no.
711
00:26:57.619 --> 00:26:59.900
He doesn't know who he is. Anyway, don't worry. I
712
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:02.900
thought it was a sauce. Legend, legend. Another legend. Yeah.
713
00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:05.000
Had a bacon roll event on Thursday night.
714
00:27:05.019 --> 00:27:05.640
That's all she did.
715
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:08.569
Went upstairs to grab me trainers and everything, and me bag.
716
00:27:09.089 --> 00:27:11.750
Sinead rang me crying. Couldn't breathe. I said, well, what's
717
00:27:11.769 --> 00:27:12.529
the matter? You okay?
718
00:27:13.289 --> 00:27:15.220
I said, well, calm down, calm down. She went, where
719
00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:17.000
are you? She went, I'm in the hospital with a doctor.
720
00:27:17.319 --> 00:27:19.660
I said, put the doctor on. She's passed the phone
721
00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:21.900
to the doctor, and the doctor said, look, basically, Tom,
722
00:27:21.980 --> 00:27:25.140
it's not great news. Twin B, the smaller of the two,
723
00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:28.599
is basically in a bad way. Her heart rate's really dropped,
724
00:27:28.700 --> 00:27:31.920
and if we don't get her out straight away, we've
725
00:27:32.009 --> 00:27:33.869
got a very, very high risk you're going to lose her.
726
00:27:34.369 --> 00:27:36.430
Potentially, if it goes wrong, lose your wife.
727
00:27:36.630 --> 00:27:37.829
Oh, my fucking God.
728
00:27:37.930 --> 00:27:40.869
I'm in fucking America, and I'm thinking, well, I could
729
00:27:40.890 --> 00:27:41.769
potentially lose everyone.
730
00:27:42.029 --> 00:27:42.250
Yeah.
731
00:27:42.309 --> 00:27:43.309
I'm going to come back, and it's going to be
732
00:27:43.329 --> 00:27:45.210
me and Emory. She was going through my head. Burst
733
00:27:45.230 --> 00:27:47.839
that client. I've jumped in the lift, gone downstairs. All
734
00:27:47.859 --> 00:27:50.599
the players, we're queuing to go on the coach. Yeah.
735
00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:52.759
I've got to go home. They're like, you what?
736
00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:53.380
Yeah.
737
00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:54.200
Told them the story.
738
00:27:54.220 --> 00:27:58.309
And because it was being documented, yeah, he just stuck
739
00:27:58.329 --> 00:27:59.430
a camera straight in my face.
740
00:27:59.450 --> 00:28:01.150
And I was like, mate. Oh, no.
741
00:28:01.930 --> 00:28:02.769
Oh, my God.
742
00:28:02.809 --> 00:28:04.670
He was like, can you just explain to the whole
743
00:28:04.710 --> 00:28:06.309
team on the bus what's happening? And the last thing
744
00:28:06.329 --> 00:28:07.430
I wanted to do was this. I'm like, look, guys,
745
00:28:07.470 --> 00:28:07.769
I need to go.
746
00:28:07.789 --> 00:28:10.109
My wife might die. My baby's in trouble. I'm really
747
00:28:10.150 --> 00:28:12.150
sure I can't be here with you. Yeah. Did you
748
00:28:12.170 --> 00:28:13.579
win the game? No.
749
00:28:15.640 --> 00:28:16.500
Also, we're playing 3-5-2.
750
00:28:16.619 --> 00:28:21.109
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got the coach in the stadium.
751
00:28:21.869 --> 00:28:23.890
I'm running back looking for a fucking cab. I can't
752
00:28:23.930 --> 00:28:26.670
find a cab anywhere to get to the airport. I've
753
00:28:26.690 --> 00:28:28.049
gone back on the bus. I said, mate, take me
754
00:28:28.089 --> 00:28:28.650
to the airport.
755
00:28:28.750 --> 00:28:31.809
He's a bus driver. He's gone. Family, brother. No problem.
756
00:28:31.950 --> 00:28:33.390
It's like saying out of a film. So I'm straight
757
00:28:33.430 --> 00:28:34.509
to the airport. I've jumped out.
758
00:28:34.549 --> 00:28:35.029
I've run.
759
00:28:35.049 --> 00:28:37.470
There's a massive queue. I'm all upset. I went, mate,
760
00:28:37.529 --> 00:28:38.650
I need to get in front of you. I've got
761
00:28:38.690 --> 00:28:40.339
to the front of the queue. This woman's sitting there.
762
00:28:40.380 --> 00:28:42.380
I've gone, listen, I need the next flight back to London.
763
00:28:42.420 --> 00:28:44.019
I don't care what it costs, where I've got to go.
764
00:28:44.339 --> 00:28:48.339
I need it, yeah? She's gone, sorry, sir, there's nothing.
765
00:28:48.700 --> 00:28:50.480
I thought I could do these American accents. I like it.
766
00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:53.220
It's good. And now I'm thinking, what can we do?
767
00:28:53.240 --> 00:28:53.609
What can we do?
768
00:28:53.619 --> 00:28:56.380
She went, well, the only flight there is, is in
769
00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:58.990
a few hours. It's from Philadelphia. So you have to
770
00:28:59.029 --> 00:29:01.529
come back here in a few hours, fly from here,
771
00:29:01.569 --> 00:29:04.450
go to Philadelphia, wait at Philadelphia, then fly to Heathrow.
772
00:29:04.650 --> 00:29:06.049
Right. I said, I don't care what it is. I'll
773
00:29:06.069 --> 00:29:09.009
have it, boss. Job done. Now, I've rung her up.
774
00:29:09.049 --> 00:29:11.150
She's calmed down. She's with her sister. She's in the wall.
775
00:29:11.369 --> 00:29:14.589
They're prepping all to have an operation. Told her the plan.
776
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:17.319
But I've now got four hours to kill. So I've
777
00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:20.500
run back outside. Yeah. This is all true, by the way.
778
00:29:21.119 --> 00:29:23.619
I've
seen the bus driver like wingling out. I've run
779
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:26.019
up the thing. Jumped back on the bus and said,
780
00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:28.359
take me back to the stadium. Yeah.
781
00:29:28.460 --> 00:29:31.920
I thought, well, fuck it. I've got four hours to kill, yeah?
782
00:29:31.940 --> 00:29:32.529
My sister's there.
783
00:29:32.769 --> 00:29:35.670
I am not missing managing West Ham. I've gone back
784
00:29:35.690 --> 00:29:38.150
to the stadium. The kickoff flight, so it was 11
785
00:29:38.150 --> 00:29:41.089
o'clock and it is like five to 11. I've pulled in,
786
00:29:41.099 --> 00:29:43.220
I've run, I've jumped over the gate, I'm running down.
787
00:29:43.480 --> 00:29:46.519
I've gone through the seats, done a roll onto the pitch.
788
00:29:46.859 --> 00:29:49.740
They're in a circle just before the kickoff. They've gone, Tom,
789
00:29:49.779 --> 00:29:52.119
what are you doing here? And I was like, well, listen,
790
00:29:52.420 --> 00:29:54.349
got the plane sorted, had a few hours to kill.
791
00:29:54.549 --> 00:29:57.329
There's no way I'm not managing West Ham. So now
792
00:29:57.369 --> 00:30:01.549
I've stood in the circle. I have given the best motivational.
793
00:30:00.849 --> 00:30:03.049
Speech of my life. I've stood there.
794
00:30:03.349 --> 00:30:05.130
Listen, we're going to do this for my daughters, my wife,
795
00:30:05.470 --> 00:30:07.349
Anton Ferdinand. He was the best defender I've ever seen
796
00:30:07.369 --> 00:30:09.049
in my time. And I was just going off and
797
00:30:09.130 --> 00:30:09.970
on and on and on and on.
798
00:30:09.970 --> 00:30:14.240
So you're lying as well? These players were so buzzed.
799
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:15.680
I was buzzed. Everyone's crying.
800
00:30:16.119 --> 00:30:16.319
Boom.
801
00:30:16.740 --> 00:30:18.029
We got battered 3-1.
802
00:30:23.240 --> 00:30:25.359
After that, I've run off. I've gone, guys, good luck
803
00:30:25.380 --> 00:30:26.519
for the next game. I'm going to have to go.
804
00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:31.009
Straight back to the airport. Now, as we've got through security,
805
00:30:31.029 --> 00:30:35.740
Sinead's sister Siobhan has rung me crying. So now, Tom,
806
00:30:35.759 --> 00:30:37.839
it's not good, it's not good. She said, whoa, whoa, whoa,
807
00:30:37.859 --> 00:30:43.140
I'm going for security. She had the result, 3-1. You're kidding.
808
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:44.430
You had a good few chances, though.
809
00:30:44.470 --> 00:30:47.690
Possession, 80%. Sorry, what else? Oh, sorry, yes, Sinead.
810
00:30:48.329 --> 00:30:50.269
So she's got to know that Sinead's in the operating room.
811
00:30:50.309 --> 00:30:51.990
There's about 10 doctors in there. There's been a problem.
812
00:30:52.029 --> 00:30:53.690
I don't know what's going on. She's crying. But then
813
00:30:53.750 --> 00:30:55.690
I said, well, let me go for security. I said, listen,
814
00:30:55.710 --> 00:30:58.210
sort yourself out. I said, you're with your sister. Go
815
00:30:58.230 --> 00:30:59.690
in there, because I'm not there. And be there for
816
00:30:59.710 --> 00:31:01.450
her now, yeah? Like, come on, let's be strong here.
817
00:31:01.630 --> 00:31:03.990
Yeah. I've got through security. She's running again.
818
00:31:04.019 --> 00:31:05.400
We're going to lose her. We're going to lose her.
819
00:31:05.559 --> 00:31:07.799
I said, I've just gone, listen, I'm not having that.
820
00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:10.579
I've got the ump now. I've gone, this is nonsense.
821
00:31:10.619 --> 00:31:12.279
Go in there, be there for her, hold her hand.
822
00:31:12.299 --> 00:31:13.640
She's going, all right, Tom, all right, Tom, all right, Tom.
823
00:31:14.460 --> 00:31:17.200
Boarded the plane. And obviously, as you know, Americans are
824
00:31:17.460 --> 00:31:20.700
larger than life people, literally. So I'm stuck on the
825
00:31:20.759 --> 00:31:22.799
edge of this aisle seat. I'm not a small guy either.
826
00:31:22.859 --> 00:31:26.940
I'm 6'1, like 18 stone, and I'm small, yeah? And
827
00:31:26.980 --> 00:31:29.220
I'm stuck in this aisle seat. And I literally got
828
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:32.750
a text from Siobhan saying, $ 2 a bomb. Picture, they're
829
00:31:32.829 --> 00:31:37.049
on these little inkies, tubes everywhere. £ 3 each, they're bombed.
830
00:31:37.049 --> 00:31:37.650
£ 3?
831
00:31:37.349 --> 00:31:40.109
Well, they're so early. The planes took off. I've texted back,
832
00:31:40.450 --> 00:31:44.490
how's Sinead? Lost signal. You can't make this up, right? Oh, God.
833
00:31:44.539 --> 00:31:47.039
So now I'm on a 45-minute flight to Philadelphia.
834
00:31:47.059 --> 00:31:48.140
Oh, my God.
835
00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:51.619
Not knowing if my wife's alive. And I'm just like,
836
00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:52.839
what do I do? What do I do?
837
00:31:52.859 --> 00:31:55.799
I'm trying to buy the Wi-Fi so I can text. $ 25, like,
838
00:31:55.900 --> 00:31:59.740
it didn't even work. Then as we're coming into land...
839
00:32:00.390 --> 00:32:04.680
We are a hundred foot from the runway, cabin crew,
840
00:32:04.700 --> 00:32:05.460
everyone's sitting down.
841
00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:05.859
It's nothing.
842
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:08.700
All of a sudden the captains give a little race
843
00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:09.900
on the speakers.
844
00:32:10.259 --> 00:32:13.470
I've gone fucking what? I've undone my belt and I've
845
00:32:13.529 --> 00:32:14.269
stood up to look around.
846
00:32:14.289 --> 00:32:16.890
Everyone's screaming. The plane is pulled up and banked right.
847
00:32:16.930 --> 00:32:20.690
Like I've never seen before. He's done a last second
848
00:32:20.799 --> 00:32:23.339
go around because another plane had been told to go
849
00:32:23.380 --> 00:32:25.460
onto the runway and it was going to be a collision.
850
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:26.960
Oh, my God.
851
00:32:27.220 --> 00:32:28.079
But now I'm thinking.
852
00:32:28.160 -->
00:32:30.420
You thought he was about to get a signal? Yeah,
853
00:32:30.480 --> 00:32:32.980
I thought he was about to die. I'm dying.
854
00:32:33.019 --> 00:32:34.920
But now I'm thinking I'm going to miss my connecting
855
00:32:34.940 --> 00:32:35.569
flight to Heathrow.
856
00:32:35.589 --> 00:32:38.430
Aren't I? Oh, yeah. So, anyway, we've come back round, landed.
857
00:32:38.769 --> 00:32:40.589
I've rung her. Snake's boom, she's in recovery. She's out
858
00:32:40.630 --> 00:32:42.369
of cold, but she's fine. Pressure off.
859
00:32:42.390 --> 00:32:45.390
I know it's going to sound really stereotypically British here, yeah,
860
00:32:45.769 --> 00:32:49.599
but I got to the terminal... the big British Airways sign.
861
00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:51.099
And then I got on the plane and the captain
862
00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:52.680
was like, ladies and gentlemen, like, I was like.
863
00:32:52.779 --> 00:32:55.000
Thank fuck we're on the way home. We're safe. We're
864
00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:55.500
getting there.
865
00:32:55.519 --> 00:32:57.930
I was like, listen, I had a nice glass of wine.
866
00:32:58.230 --> 00:33:01.650
I had a bit of steak and chips. Everything was good.
867
00:33:02.130 --> 00:33:04.170
And we flew back and I got Wi-Fi and everything
868
00:33:04.190 --> 00:33:04.529
was all right.
869
00:33:04.549 --> 00:33:05.150
And I was relaxed.
870
00:33:05.230 --> 00:33:07.470
And I landed, my mate Cole was a black cab driver.
871
00:33:07.490 --> 00:33:09.339
He was like, now I'm a full-time driver in the
872
00:33:09.380 --> 00:33:12.119
Bosch cab. Waited for me outside, took me straight to
873
00:33:12.140 --> 00:33:14.400
the hospital. And I sat there with my wife and
874
00:33:14.420 --> 00:33:15.680
she was in recovery, bless her legend.
875
00:33:15.740 --> 00:33:15.900
Yeah.
876
00:33:16.869 --> 00:33:18.910
And the two twins were tiny little things, tubes everywhere,
877
00:33:19.180 --> 00:33:25.210
but in these little plastic ovens, incubators. And as I've
878
00:33:25.230 --> 00:33:27.289
got there, now I've not slept for two days because
879
00:33:27.329 --> 00:33:29.630
of everything that's gone from there. I've got there and
880
00:33:29.650 --> 00:33:31.470
I'm sitting with my wife, sitting with the babies. And
881
00:33:31.549 --> 00:33:33.170
someone said, Tommy, you go home, you're looking exhausted, just
882
00:33:33.210 --> 00:33:35.230
go home. I went home and I remember coming back
883
00:33:35.250 --> 00:33:37.259
to my house, sitting on that sofa over there and
884
00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:39.279
two of our sisters were around. And I said, I
885
00:33:39.319 --> 00:33:40.779
feel really bad. I've only been up the hospital for
886
00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:41.839
half an hour. They was like, Tom, we're talking about
887
00:33:41.859 --> 00:33:43.740
you've been sitting there for eight hours. Whereas in such
888
00:33:43.799 --> 00:33:45.779
a day, I sat there with the twins, just looking
889
00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:46.359
at them for hours.
890
00:33:46.819 --> 00:33:47.500
Oh my God.
891
00:33:47.799 --> 00:33:49.160
And then a few weeks later, they all come out
892
00:33:49.180 --> 00:33:52.000
of hospital, Everyone's all healthy and everyone's doing well. The
893
00:33:52.039 --> 00:33:53.779
twins are not doing well, you know what I mean?
894
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:55.940
Everyone's good. Oh, brilliant.
895
00:33:56.269 --> 00:33:57.220
Bloody hell. What a story.
896
00:33:57.289 --> 00:33:59.029
A round of applause there on the podcast.
897
00:33:59.430 --> 00:34:01.650
Are they on weight now and stuff, the twins?
898
00:34:01.789 --> 00:34:03.829
They're still small. They're only 10 pounds each and they're
899
00:34:03.849 --> 00:34:04.410
four months old.
900
00:34:04.490 --> 00:34:06.529
Because they're only three months old really, aren't they?
901
00:34:06.549 --> 00:34:10.210
Because a month early. They were so small, like three pounds.
902
00:34:10.510 --> 00:34:13.429
I found it really difficult doing the babies when they
903
00:34:13.449 --> 00:34:15.429
were little, even when they were like seven, eight pounds.
904
00:34:15.449 --> 00:34:17.230
But it's a three-pound baby and you're a big guy,
905
00:34:17.269 --> 00:34:17.789
big hand.
906
00:34:17.929 --> 00:34:19.250
Just pick them up one hand. Yeah.
907
00:34:22.619 --> 00:34:25.900
I don't know if we need the first birth story.
908
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:27.860
I think you've done the big one there. I mean,
909
00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:30.489
the first one, he got strangulated, but he was all right.
910
00:34:30.510 --> 00:34:32.309
I remember just sitting there eating Percy pigs.
911
00:34:34.059 --> 00:34:36.900
Was you nervous because you're sort of super confident and
912
00:34:37.260 --> 00:34:39.380
happy-go-lucky and positive but like when she was getting the
913
00:34:39.400 --> 00:34:42.329
contractions and she went in was you getting nervous and
914
00:34:42.550 --> 00:34:43.670
worried of course.
915
00:34:43.449 --> 00:34:47.329
I mean even henry's birth wasn't just like easy because
916
00:34:47.349 --> 00:34:50.110
he was strangulated well with the umbilical cord yeah so
917
00:34:50.130 --> 00:34:51.469
they had to get him out in a certain amount
918
00:34:51.489 --> 00:34:52.750
of time and she didn't know what's going on i
919
00:34:52.769 --> 00:34:54.469
remember she talked to the doctor and this doctor she
920
00:34:54.489 --> 00:34:56.050
was like an angel she went to me like tom
921
00:34:56.070 --> 00:34:58.369
like we've only got literally a minute to do this
922
00:34:58.429 --> 00:35:01.010
like when it happens so We need to get everything right.
923
00:35:01.050 --> 00:35:02.210
So she went to me, do you want to tell
924
00:35:02.230 --> 00:35:03.570
your wife? I went, no, don't tell her. I'll go
925
00:35:03.610 --> 00:35:05.010
in there, hold her hand. And literally, I sat there
926
00:35:05.070 --> 00:35:07.659
eating Percy Pigs. Mate, it's actually
in my book, the
927
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:08.980
picture of the Percy Pigs.
928
00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:11.159
Oh, I bet the photos are good in the book.
929
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:14.480
But there's the Percy Pigs. How much food there is?
930
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:16.760
Have you seen that, Josh? No, show us the photo
931
00:35:16.820 --> 00:35:19.000
of the food. We'll read out what he took. Because
932
00:35:19.019 --> 00:35:21.019
Sinead's not eating, is she? She's giving birth.
933
00:35:21.059 --> 00:35:22.480
No. That's just for you, isn't it?
934
00:35:23.179 --> 00:35:24.079
Fucking hell.
935
00:35:24.199 --> 00:35:28.260
So there's three sandwiches, two chocolate bars, Percy Pigs and pineapple,
936
00:35:28.280 --> 00:35:30.989
four bottles of water, two tubs of chocolates and then
937
00:35:31.210 --> 00:35:31.690
some fruit.
938
00:35:31.730 --> 00:35:32.429
What are those cups?
939
00:35:32.789 --> 00:35:35.530
They're tubs of like their millionaire shortbreads from Spencer's.
940
00:35:35.610 --> 00:35:38.340
Oh, fucking hell.
941
00:35:38.360 --> 00:35:40.199
So tell us about the book, Tom. So the book
942
00:35:40.219 --> 00:35:41.460
is the maddest thing I've ever done in my life.
943
00:35:41.480 --> 00:35:43.039
I've never thought in a million years I'd be writing
944
00:35:43.079 --> 00:35:43.639
a book. Yeah.
945
00:35:43.780 --> 00:35:45.000
Well, I didn't. A ghostwriter helped me, but.
946
00:35:49.570 --> 00:35:51.849
Refreshing honesty, that's what we're looking for.
947
00:35:51.909 --> 00:35:53.510
Mate, I work with a guy called Nick Arden. He
948
00:35:53.530 --> 00:35:54.409
was an absolute legend.
949
00:35:54.449 --> 00:35:56.349
He followed me about in my van for a few weeks, yeah,
950
00:35:56.829 --> 00:35:58.250
and he literally thought I was insane.
951
00:35:58.570 --> 00:36:00.510
He's like, when do you sleep and why do you
952
00:36:00.570 --> 00:36:01.070
eat so much?
953
00:36:04.030 --> 00:36:05.949
You do eat a lot, but you train a lot
954
00:36:05.989 --> 00:36:08.050
and you're on the go, which burns calories, but you
955
00:36:08.090 --> 00:36:09.130
do pack it away, don't you?
956
00:36:09.150 --> 00:36:11.389
Do you know what? I reckon I eat probably 5, no,
957
00:36:11.409 --> 00:36:14.150
maybe more, 6,000 calories a day. It ain't mega, mega,
958
00:36:14.349 --> 00:36:15.369
but it's like a lot.
959
00:36:15.389 --> 00:36:17.869
But I do train, but I look like a fat geezer.
960
00:36:20.690 --> 00:36:23.929
Sometimes I see you on Instagram and you look rock solid,
961
00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:27.340
athletic and muscly. And no offence, Tom, some days I
962
00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:29.300
sort of feel like, is that his brother that I've
963
00:36:29.320 --> 00:36:31.699
not met yet? Because he looked like a completely different person.
964
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:33.139
It depends if I've been on the beers all weekend
965
00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:33.420
or not.
966
00:36:33.719 --> 00:36:36.119
If he's
cut down to just 4,000 calories, then he's
967
00:36:36.139 --> 00:36:39.110
looking really good by that point. So what's your 6,000 cows?
968
00:36:39.130 --> 00:36:39.769
Talk me through them.
969
00:36:40.090 --> 00:36:42.070
Every morning I'll have dinner for breakfast, regardless of what
970
00:36:42.090 --> 00:36:44.349
day of the week it is. Whether it be lasagna,
971
00:36:44.389 --> 00:36:47.230
chili con carne, jacked potato, baked beans, cheese.
972
00:36:47.250 --> 00:36:48.769
And that's about 4am, is that?
973
00:36:49.090 --> 00:36:49.800
Early, yeah, early.
974
00:36:50.699 --> 00:36:53.599
Then if we're in a market, I will end up
975
00:36:53.699 --> 00:36:56.260
having something else around eight or nine. Yeah.
976
00:36:56.360 --> 00:36:58.019
But it'd be like bacon rye or a little hot
977
00:36:58.059 --> 00:37:00.320
dog or something like that. Yeah. Then I'll have a
978
00:37:00.340 --> 00:37:02.449
bit of lunch. It's going to sound so bad. What
979
00:37:02.570 --> 00:37:04.750
would you have for lunch? Would you come home or
980
00:37:04.789 --> 00:37:05.849
is that out at a cafe?
981
00:37:05.909 --> 00:37:08.250
No, normally Sinead does me a packed lunch, which would
982
00:37:08.269 --> 00:37:11.050
be like a couple of little sandwiches, maybe like some
983
00:37:11.110 --> 00:37:13.550
chilli from last night, a couple of boiled eggs, you know,
984
00:37:13.570 --> 00:37:15.110
the usual few bags of crisps.
985
00:37:15.610 --> 00:37:18.539
A few bags of crisps? How many bags? Not that many,
986
00:37:18.639 --> 00:37:22.949
two or three. Yeah. Some Dairy Dunkers and them little
987
00:37:22.969 --> 00:37:24.219
snack attacks out of a Henry.
988
00:37:27.460 --> 00:37:29.199
And then dinner is at a home that you do
989
00:37:29.219 --> 00:37:30.579
a lot of cooking, don't you?
990
00:37:30.920 --> 00:37:31.139
Yeah.
991
00:37:31.159 --> 00:37:33.679
I normally cook the dinner. Right. If it's quite good,
992
00:37:33.699 --> 00:37:34.940
I'd film it and put it on Instagram.
993
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:37.380
Yeah, I've seen that as well, yeah. Big portions as well.
994
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:38.320
Of course.
995
00:37:38.400 --> 00:37:40.590
Because my house is so open, there's always a family
996
00:37:40.619 --> 00:37:42.429
and friends in and out. Like, I will cook for
997
00:37:42.429 --> 00:37:43.650
10 people every night of the week.
998
00:37:43.670 --> 00:37:43.949
Right, okay.
999
00:37:44.010 --> 00:37:45.489
And my mate will pop in from the gym. Like,
1000
00:37:45.510 --> 00:37:47.269
my other friend will come round with his missus. My
1001
00:37:47.309 --> 00:37:49.469
mum and my pop right. So, very family orientated. The
1002
00:37:49.489 --> 00:37:52.110
doors are always open. Like, so, Probably the only time
1003
00:37:52.420 --> 00:37:53.599
you'd be in my house and no one's in it,
1004
00:37:53.619 --> 00:37:55.579
just me. Do you find it weird being in the
1005
00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:57.340
house on your own? I find that weird.
1006
00:37:57.559 --> 00:38:01.940
Yeah, I get scared. No, I just, I don't like
1007
00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:02.659
being indoors on my own.
1008
00:38:02.980 --> 00:38:05.980
Do you like being alone at all? Say, for example,
1009
00:38:06.019 --> 00:38:08.300
Sinead was taking all the kids away with her family
1010
00:38:08.320 --> 00:38:10.719
or something for the weekend and you weren't allowed to
1011
00:38:10.760 --> 00:38:11.599
socialise with people.
1012
00:38:11.659 --> 00:38:13.760
How would you struggle with that weekend? Which means I
1013
00:38:13.780 --> 00:38:16.820
wasn't allowed to socialise with people. She just locks me
1014
00:38:16.840 --> 00:38:19.309
in the house. Bye. But I think you love being
1015
00:38:19.329 --> 00:38:20.969
around people, don't you? You feed off it. If she'd
1016
00:38:20.989 --> 00:38:22.610
done that, I'd be like, touch, straight down the pub
1017
00:38:22.630 --> 00:38:25.250
with my pals. Right, OK. You know exactly what's happening. Oh,
1018
00:38:25.250 --> 00:38:28.349
I'm in a party. I thought that would be the way, yeah.
1019
00:38:28.429 --> 00:38:31.329
Because when we had our second, I'd normally leave Lou
1020
00:38:31.369 --> 00:38:34.050
with the baby and then take the toddler out for
1021
00:38:34.070 --> 00:38:36.909
the day. Because really, with the twins, it's hard on
1022
00:38:36.929 --> 00:38:39.199
your own with the twins, but it's a lot calmer
1023
00:38:39.219 --> 00:38:40.920
if there's not a kid trying to do a poo
1024
00:38:40.940 --> 00:38:42.920
in a pot and throw a car at the kids.
1025
00:38:43.159 --> 00:38:44.599
So you're finding you're spending a lot more time with
1026
00:38:44.619 --> 00:38:45.980
Henry at weekends and stuff?
1027
00:38:46.340 --> 00:38:48.099
Yeah, I mean, when I can, I bring Henry with
1028
00:38:48.119 --> 00:38:50.449
me places, take him out. We'll be doing lovely little
1029
00:38:50.469 --> 00:38:52.170
day skis, like a town down the park. I've got
1030
00:38:52.190 --> 00:38:53.489
him a season ticket at West Ham.
1031
00:38:53.889 --> 00:38:56.500
Oh, really? At three. Not even three yet.
1032
00:38:56.780 --> 00:38:59.469
His first game was at home against Chelsea and he
1033
00:38:59.489 --> 00:39:02.530
was just standing in the chair going, irons, irons, all game.
1034
00:39:02.590 --> 00:39:04.349
He didn't have a clue what was going on, but
1035
00:39:04.369 --> 00:39:06.170
he loved it. We had a really good day. I
1036
00:39:06.170 --> 00:39:07.389
took him on a train the other week, went to
1037
00:39:07.409 --> 00:39:10.469
the London History Museum. I just try and do things
1038
00:39:10.530 --> 00:39:13.369
that I think little memories he'll remember when he gets older.
1039
00:39:13.389 --> 00:39:14.389
I don't know, just try and do the right thing,
1040
00:39:14.409 --> 00:39:16.070
didn't you? Do you want him to go down.
1041
00:39:16.699 --> 00:39:20.119
the own business grafting do your own thing
route or
1042
00:39:20.199 --> 00:39:25.130
would you like to see him at uni and being
1043
00:39:25.170 --> 00:39:27.909
more academic and going down that route yeah i mean.
1044
00:39:27.809 --> 00:39:29.619
I left school early, went straight to work. I got
1045
00:39:29.699 --> 00:39:31.260
expelled from school for selling pornos.
1046
00:39:32.420 --> 00:39:35.010
Is that why you weren't allowed into America? Selling pornos
1047
00:39:35.090 --> 00:39:35.429
at school?
1048
00:39:35.469 --> 00:39:36.230
One of the reasons.
1049
00:39:36.889 --> 00:39:38.829
I've always worked, and listen, I've been up and down
1050
00:39:38.889 --> 00:39:41.150
so many times in my life, like, One minute, I'd
1051
00:39:41.170 --> 00:39:44.409
have a few quid, nice van, nice flat. Next minute,
1052
00:39:44.429 --> 00:39:46.530
I'd be skint, back of my mum's house. My mum's
1053
00:39:46.570 --> 00:39:48.630
got a two-up, two-down house. There'd be no room for me,
1054
00:39:48.670 --> 00:39:50.150
so I'd be laying on a little pulled-out futon in
1055
00:39:50.170 --> 00:39:52.230
the front room. It's the front door.
1056
00:39:52.250 --> 00:39:53.510
What's he doing there? You know what I mean?
1057
00:39:53.690 --> 00:39:57.420
So I think I would like my kids to get
1058
00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:01.320
a proper job and not have that worry of where's
1059
00:40:01.340 --> 00:40:02.300
your next pound come from.
1060
00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:04.559
Touch wood, I mean... I'm lucky now.
1061
00:40:04.659 --> 00:40:07.460
I'm in a very fortunate situation where I could take
1062
00:40:07.480 --> 00:40:09.039
a couple of months off and I'm fortunate.
1063
00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:10.179
But back then I couldn't.
1064
00:40:10.219 --> 00:40:11.840
It was like, you need to go work every day.
1065
00:40:11.849 --> 00:40:13.230
Hand to mouth. You know what I mean? Yeah.
1066
00:40:13.369 --> 00:40:15.909
And it was just hard because if it rained all week,
1067
00:40:15.969 --> 00:40:17.269
you weren't going to work on a market.
1068
00:40:17.289 --> 00:40:18.130
So you had no readies.
1069
00:40:18.570 --> 00:40:18.809
Yeah.
1070
00:40:19.090 --> 00:40:20.880
And then buying stock, buying the right stock.
1071
00:40:21.219 --> 00:40:22.619
I think I would like them to get a proper
1072
00:40:22.659 --> 00:40:25.099
job where they can progress and do well. And they
1073
00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:27.300
haven't got to go through the struggles and the all
1074
00:40:27.320 --> 00:40:29.659
the mad stuff that i've done the strokes i've pulled
1075
00:40:29.699 --> 00:40:33.699
you know i mean the fights i've had.
1076
00:40:32.659 --> 00:40:33.920
What about if they said they wanted to go on
1077
00:40:33.940 --> 00:40:34.960
the apprentice.
1078
00:40:34.719 --> 00:40:36.940
Yeah i'll definitely do that that's really good fun yeah
1079
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:39.099
you enjoyed that i think do you like sugar mate
1080
00:40:39.119 --> 00:40:41.179
he's actually all right he's actually all right i mean
1081
00:40:41.639 --> 00:40:45.340
i didn't realize how short he was bless him he's
1082
00:40:45.380 --> 00:40:47.739
tiny but he's a nice guy i mean i've got
1083
00:40:47.800 --> 00:40:50.090
on well with him but when you go on that
1084
00:40:50.119 --> 00:40:52.559
show The first thing everyone says is how good they
1085
00:40:52.579 --> 00:40:54.739
are in business. And I'm thinking, you can't be that
1086
00:40:54.800 --> 00:40:56.599
good because you're really trying to get a quarter million quid.
1087
00:40:56.639 --> 00:40:58.099
Like if you was good, you'd have a quarter million quid,
1088
00:40:58.119 --> 00:40:58.820
wouldn't you?
1089
00:40:58.840 --> 00:40:59.699
Let's be honest.
1090
00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:02.340
But I took it for what it was. I had
1091
00:41:02.380 --> 00:41:03.780
a laugh on it. I just enjoyed it and took
1092
00:41:03.820 --> 00:41:05.440
it as experience. Look where I am now for the
1093
00:41:05.460 --> 00:41:07.159
back of it. So yeah, one of the best things
1094
00:41:07.179 --> 00:41:07.519
I've ever done.
1095
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:09.639
You all live in a house together, don't you?
1096
00:41:10.039 --> 00:41:10.360
Yeah.
1097
00:41:10.530 --> 00:41:13.170
It's like being in jail, mate, right? So you turn up,
1098
00:41:13.210 --> 00:41:16.269
they go phone, money, keys, strip you of all your stuff.
1099
00:41:16.750 --> 00:41:18.449
You get chucked in the house. You get your little cell,
1100
00:41:18.949 --> 00:41:21.150
your little room. There's like three to a room and
1101
00:41:21.170 --> 00:41:22.769
literally you're told when to eat, told when to go
1102
00:41:22.809 --> 00:41:24.550
to bed. You can't watch telly. You can't speak to
1103
00:41:24.570 --> 00:41:27.050
your family. And I was there for seven weeks. So
1104
00:41:27.090 --> 00:41:27.730
it was hard.
1105
00:41:28.289 --> 00:41:29.969
It was hard. You do miss your friends and family.
1106
00:41:29.989 --> 00:41:31.369
I mean, I did sneak out once, but.
1107
00:41:31.750 --> 00:41:34.130
Were you able to source your lasagna at 4am? What
1108
00:41:34.150 --> 00:41:34.570
was going on?
1109
00:41:34.590 --> 00:41:37.550
The house we stayed in was in Finchley. Now, my
1110
00:41:37.590 --> 00:41:39.769
wife and my family are from Finchley Park in North London,
1111
00:41:39.789 --> 00:41:40.670
literally around the corner.
1112
00:41:40.889 --> 00:41:42.510
There's a pub I know. So I literally one night
1113
00:41:42.590 --> 00:41:43.550
jumped out of the window.
1114
00:41:45.769 --> 00:41:46.989
Went to the pub, had no money. He was like,
1115
00:41:47.010 --> 00:41:48.030
can I have two pints? I was like, of course
1116
00:41:48.050 --> 00:41:49.489
you can. Told him what I was doing, didn't believe me.
1117
00:41:49.809 --> 00:41:51.210
Come back, jumped back through the window because it was
1118
00:41:51.230 --> 00:41:52.389
this big old manor house.
1119
00:41:52.449 --> 00:41:54.780
Yeah. Off of, I
can't think what it's called. Anyway,
1120
00:41:54.800 --> 00:41:56.880
it's where all the big guys are. Right. Okay.
1121
00:41:56.900 --> 00:41:58.679
It's one of the big ones. It's strange you've got
1122
00:41:58.699 --> 00:42:00.059
to get all the candidates in there.
1123
00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:02.199
There's like 18 people in there. It's like a big
1124
00:42:02.239 --> 00:42:04.699
brother house, just bigger. Oh, so you didn't have kids then?
1125
00:42:04.980 --> 00:42:06.500
That was just you and Sinead? No, it didn't. Just
1126
00:42:06.539 --> 00:42:07.039
me and Sinead.
1127
00:42:07.159 --> 00:42:08.800
How would you feel if you did something like The Jungle?
1128
00:42:09.530 --> 00:42:11.360
I've been the bookie's favourite to do that for three
1129
00:42:11.389 --> 00:42:13.420
years in a row, yeah. Are you doing it? Well,
1130
00:42:13.920 --> 00:42:16.539
I don't know at the minute. Oh, really?
1131
00:42:16.659 --> 00:42:19.400
But listen, I mean, it'd probably be the wrong time
1132
00:42:19.460 --> 00:42:21.440
at the minute with the babies, but I would love
1133
00:42:21.500 --> 00:42:23.500
to do it. I mean, I don't think, apart from
1134
00:42:23.519 --> 00:42:25.269
the hiats, there wouldn't be a challenge I wouldn't do.
1135
00:42:25.690 --> 00:42:28.170
You'd eat everything. Changing a nappy? Changing a nappy.
1136
00:42:28.510 --> 00:42:29.150
Dex nappy.
1137
00:42:29.730 --> 00:42:31.550
But whose nappy would you change?
1138
00:42:31.929 --> 00:42:36.010
Ant and Dex. Ant and Dex. Ant and Dex nappy, yeah.
1139
00:42:36.050 --> 00:42:41.469
Give Ant a break. Everyone in real life is smaller
1140
00:42:41.489 --> 00:42:43.820
than what they appear on a telly, yeah? Fact, right?
1141
00:42:43.860 --> 00:42:44.940
Apart from me, yeah?
1142
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:47.079
I don't know why this is, because they say the
1143
00:42:47.119 --> 00:42:50.139
camera adds 10 pounds, right? But it must be minus
1144
00:42:50.159 --> 00:42:52.469
four cameras on me, because people go, Cor, you look
1145
00:42:52.489 --> 00:42:53.329
a lot better on a telly.
1146
00:42:57.949 --> 00:43:00.010
We didn't actually get to, what's the book about? Is
1147
00:43:00.070 --> 00:43:00.929
it your life story?
1148
00:43:01.329 --> 00:43:05.420
So the book is about... Graft, How to Smash Life.
1149
00:43:06.260 --> 00:43:07.300
Bosh.
1150
00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:11.420
Bosh. It's not an autobiography. It's more life lessons and
1151
00:43:11.480 --> 00:43:15.260
stories that happened to me. It's a funny book. Basically,
1152
00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:17.500
a few people have read it and said it's absolutely hilarious.
1153
00:43:18.039 --> 00:43:20.179
There's stories in there when I've been abroad and I
1154
00:43:20.300 --> 00:43:23.579
nearly got shot and killed. There's also stories in there
1155
00:43:23.599 --> 00:43:26.389
when I'm in a market stall. Anything I thought could
1156
00:43:26.530 --> 00:43:27.559
give someone a lesson in life.
1157
00:43:28.110 --> 00:43:28.989
I've put in that book.
1158
00:43:29.110 --> 00:43:30.670
I've read an advanced copy of it, one of the
1159
00:43:30.690 --> 00:43:33.050
only ones we've read, because we've got the same publisher, Kelly.
1160
00:43:33.150 --> 00:43:34.289
Yeah, I love Kelly.
1161
00:43:34.389 --> 00:43:36.730
She's so lovely. She's really, really good. Obviously, as well,
1162
00:43:36.750 --> 00:43:39.449
you've got dyslexia to quite a high degree, which you
1163
00:43:39.489 --> 00:43:41.519
might find it really difficult. And Kelly was really helpful
1164
00:43:41.539 --> 00:43:42.960
in me doing all that kind of stuff. But she
1165
00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:45.960
sent me a copy, and it's really funny. It's a proper, like, authentic.
1166
00:43:45.980 --> 00:43:48.940
And I think that's why you're so... popular is what
1167
00:43:48.980 --> 00:43:50.719
you see is what you get really with you and
1168
00:43:50.739 --> 00:43:52.179
i think it comes across in the book so you're
1169
00:43:52.199 --> 00:43:54.119
not putting any punches in it thanks mate.
1170
00:43:54.139 --> 00:43:56.280
There's a few stars i couldn't put in there because
1171
00:43:56.579 --> 00:44:00.300
i thought i'd go oh no no i think my
1172
00:44:00.340 --> 00:44:03.920
management would stab me fair enough if you've got management.
1173
00:44:03.500 --> 00:44:05.420
Are you not across the deals though because you're like
1174
00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:08.280
the ultimate deal maker right it must be difficult for
1175
00:44:08.300 --> 00:44:10.090
you to go i reckon you could get me a
1176
00:44:10.110 --> 00:44:11.349
better deal than that right.
1177
00:44:11.590 --> 00:44:14.550
Well, classic example, we'd done a brand deal with McDonald's, yeah?
1178
00:44:14.750 --> 00:44:16.090
And I was like, can I come to the meeting, please?
1179
00:44:16.110 --> 00:44:17.730
And they were like, no. And I was like, please, please,
1180
00:44:17.750 --> 00:44:19.489
let me come to the meeting. I was like, all right.
1181
00:44:19.829 --> 00:44:21.230
Got to the meeting, I got the money straight up.
1182
00:44:21.230 --> 00:44:22.829
I was like, listen, mate, I just.
1183
00:44:22.829 --> 00:44:24.989
Ran with them in the meeting. They were all looking
1184
00:44:25.010 --> 00:44:26.130
at me like, Tom, what are you doing at McDonald's?
1185
00:44:26.150 --> 00:44:27.829
I was like, listen, we're getting money out of these.
1186
00:44:27.849 --> 00:44:28.469
Did it work?
1187
00:44:28.650 --> 00:44:31.539
Of course it did, yeah.
1188
00:44:33.079 --> 00:44:35.219
And is Henry at nursery yet or anything like that?
1189
00:44:35.280 --> 00:44:37.280
Yeah, he's at nursery. How was that dropping him off?
1190
00:44:37.739 --> 00:44:38.099
Do you know what?
1191
00:44:38.119 --> 00:44:40.420
The first one, we went together and it was like,
1192
00:44:41.039 --> 00:44:42.719
How's he going to be? But he loves it. He's
1193
00:44:42.739 --> 00:44:45.619
got his little mate
called Lenny and he goes, Daddy,
1194
00:44:45.659 --> 00:44:47.510
nursery with Lenny. And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. He
1195
00:44:47.530 --> 00:44:50.090
loves it. And he enjoys nursery. He's good in there.
1196
00:44:50.449 --> 00:44:54.090
Since going to nursery, you've obviously seen this, how fast
1197
00:44:54.110 --> 00:44:54.710
they progress.
1198
00:44:54.730 --> 00:44:57.860
Oh, it's mad. And how runny does their nose get? Yeah.
1199
00:45:00.389 --> 00:45:03.469
Their vocabulary increases and they have to make space in their.
1200
00:45:03.389 --> 00:45:07.599
Head for it. Constant stream of snot. Always ill.
1201
00:45:07.699 --> 00:45:09.420
They're always bringing back it. That's probably what you got.
1202
00:45:10.099 --> 00:45:12.139
I had to go and pick him up Friday last week.
1203
00:45:12.639 --> 00:45:13.900
And I was like, yeah, he's fine, but he's just
1204
00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:15.960
been sick. And I was like, oh, no problem. Then
1205
00:45:16.179 --> 00:45:17.699
I went to a boxing event on Saturday. I was
1206
00:45:17.989 --> 00:45:20.010
boxing this big London team with Ricky Hatton and Johnny
1207
00:45:20.050 --> 00:45:22.070
Nelson and all that. So I got a few put-arounds
1208
00:45:22.090 --> 00:45:23.570
with my wife. She was in bed with it all day.
1209
00:45:23.610 --> 00:45:25.989
And then yesterday, I didn't get the second half.
1210
00:45:25.849 --> 00:45:27.369
Of the day. So hopefully it's all gone now.
1211
00:45:27.940 --> 00:45:29.840
With the twins, have you had the twins on your
1212
00:45:29.909 --> 00:45:31.530
own overnight yet or anything like that?
1213
00:45:31.710 --> 00:45:31.789
No.
1214
00:45:31.809 --> 00:45:32.070
No.
1215
00:45:32.210 --> 00:45:35.409
I'm not allowed. What, to have the twins on your own?
1216
00:45:35.730 --> 00:45:36.130
No, yeah.
1217
00:45:36.590 --> 00:45:40.380
No, no, no, no, no. Listen, it's going to sound terrible, yeah? Okay.
1218
00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:44.380
I'm still struggling to tell them apart. Oh, what, the twins?
1219
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:45.119
So you don't know.
1220
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.860
What's at what? Because they are identical and the weight
1221
00:45:49.940 --> 00:45:53.019
is identical. Everything's identical, yeah? The only thing you can
1222
00:45:53.059 --> 00:45:56.570
tell is Roma, yeah? She's got like a little bit
1223
00:45:56.590 --> 00:45:57.610
of a bump.
1224
00:45:57.369 --> 00:45:57.869
On her head.
1225
00:45:58.250 --> 00:46:00.929
But when you put them together like that, it's like
1226
00:46:01.230 --> 00:46:03.679
looking at two identical things. They're so alike.
1227
00:46:03.880 --> 00:46:05.619
Well, my friends had to do that. They had twins
1228
00:46:05.639 --> 00:46:08.320
and they ended up painting the nail varnishes. So one
1229
00:46:08.360 --> 00:46:10.340
had a red nail varnish, one had a blue nail varnish.
1230
00:46:10.719 --> 00:46:12.019
just to tell them apart, especially in the middle of
1231
00:46:12.039 --> 00:46:12.420
the night.
1232
00:46:12.440 --> 00:46:14.829
Because you don't want to feed them twice. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
1233
00:46:14.909 --> 00:46:15.849
just to stop you feeding them.
1234
00:46:16.070 --> 00:46:17.710
I've got a marker pen and put A and B
1235
00:46:17.750 --> 00:46:21.590
on their heads, which makes them mental.
1236
00:46:22.090 --> 00:46:27.949
I think nail binding might be easier. Sharpie on their head. Josh,
1237
00:46:28.010 --> 00:46:29.670
anything else before we do the final question?
1238
00:46:29.849 --> 00:46:32.389
I've got 600 questions about how The Apprentice works, Rob,
1239
00:46:32.409 --> 00:46:34.050
but I don't know whether this is the podcast.
1240
00:46:34.070 --> 00:46:35.960
Oh, you can do some more Apprentice questions if you want.
1241
00:46:36.400 --> 00:46:37.219
How set up is it?
1242
00:46:37.780 --> 00:46:41.719
Oh, massively. But it's brilliant. Thank you very much.
1243
00:46:42.079 --> 00:46:43.679
One of the biggest things about The Apprentice that no
1244
00:46:43.699 --> 00:46:46.579
one knows is if you're doing a task and you've
1245
00:46:46.619 --> 00:46:48.630
got something to do and it's not filmed, it's not
1246
00:46:48.650 --> 00:46:50.510
filmed on a camera, it doesn't count.
1247
00:46:51.090 --> 00:46:52.650
Really? What do you mean? So they'll send you out
1248
00:46:52.690 --> 00:46:53.630
and go, you've got to sell the tickets.
1249
00:46:53.789 --> 00:46:55.550
You could go and sell every single ticket, but if
1250
00:46:55.570 --> 00:46:57.110
you didn't have a camera watching it, it doesn't count
1251
00:46:57.150 --> 00:46:57.590
for the show.
1252
00:46:57.889 --> 00:46:58.250
No.
1253
00:46:58.650 --> 00:47:00.869
Anyone who's watched this, watching this podcast, who wants to
1254
00:47:00.889 --> 00:47:02.949
go on the apprentice, make friends with the camera guys.
1255
00:47:05.570 --> 00:47:08.030
Because if they don't follow you and they don't track you,
1256
00:47:08.190 --> 00:47:09.809
how can they show on the show if it doesn't exist?
1257
00:47:10.250 --> 00:47:12.690
I always think it must be really annoying when you're
1258
00:47:13.130 --> 00:47:14.829
desperately trying to sell a load of stuff and then
1259
00:47:14.849 --> 00:47:16.710
they pull you aside for an interview and you're like,
1260
00:47:16.849 --> 00:47:18.489
I really could do without this because I'm trying to,
1261
00:47:19.030 --> 00:47:20.289
Sell some scarves.
1262
00:47:19.929 --> 00:47:21.849
On a market stall. What I do, like I make
1263
00:47:21.889 --> 00:47:23.650
in a minute. I ain't doing one now. I'm just
1264
00:47:23.670 --> 00:47:25.949
carrying doing something. But when you do a task, it's
1265
00:47:26.010 --> 00:47:26.969
three days long as well.
1266
00:47:27.449 --> 00:47:27.670
Right.
1267
00:47:27.829 --> 00:47:29.630
What? Yeah, so one task is three days.
1268
00:47:30.329 --> 00:47:32.449
And what goes into it is insane because you actually
1269
00:47:32.489 --> 00:47:34.349
are running about all day getting in cabs, going here,
1270
00:47:34.369 --> 00:47:34.769
going there.
1271
00:47:34.789 --> 00:47:38.260
It's very, very long. And the boardroom takes three to
1272
00:47:38.320 --> 00:47:39.719
four hours to film.
1273
00:47:40.559 --> 00:47:43.059
Oh, my God. That must be exhausting.
1274
00:47:43.400 --> 00:47:45.300
Lord Sugar, I love him. Lovely bloke.
1275
00:47:45.320 --> 00:47:47.039
But he's getting a little bit now and he forgets
1276
00:47:47.079 --> 00:47:50.199
his lines. and like he'll just like randomly just start
1277
00:47:50.280 --> 00:47:53.139
screaming at someone and get their name wrong and then
1278
00:47:53.420 --> 00:47:55.280
they'll go you got his name wrong and they'll go
1279
00:47:55.340 --> 00:47:56.650
oh and he'll do it again and just scream at
1280
00:47:56.659 --> 00:47:57.860
the same person again.
1281
00:47:59.329 --> 00:48:03.929
You're sacked oh shit what is it fine hard to
1282
00:48:03.949 --> 00:48:05.989
remember your line it's been a pleasure to talk to
1283
00:48:06.010 --> 00:48:08.150
you Tom Josh I feel like there's another apprentice question
1284
00:48:08.170 --> 00:48:08.550
you've got.
1285
00:48:08.449 --> 00:48:13.010
More what's that cafe like shit Oh, so bad. You
1286
00:48:13.030 --> 00:48:14.929
know that one in cash that just has, like, a
1287
00:48:14.949 --> 00:48:17.030
couple of cakes with psyllophane over it and some Mars bars?
1288
00:48:17.070 --> 00:48:17.429
Yeah.
1289
00:48:17.630 --> 00:48:19.780
A couple of, like, Rios. It ain't a great cash.
1290
00:48:19.949 --> 00:48:20.139
No, fair.
1291
00:48:20.219 --> 00:48:22.280
And you know when you win the task, I always
1292
00:48:22.300 --> 00:48:24.500
think those things look so fucking shit when you go
1293
00:48:24.539 --> 00:48:25.860
to a cocktail-making class.
1294
00:48:25.980 --> 00:48:28.639
Well, obviously, I only won one task, yeah, and this is, like,
1295
00:48:28.659 --> 00:48:30.719
this is a few million, yeah? So if I've got, like, oh,
1296
00:48:30.780 --> 00:48:33.579
lunch at the Shard, like, these sorts ain't good, what
1297
00:48:33.599 --> 00:48:38.639
did I get? Fucking rowing lesson, right? Yeah. They was like, oh, yeah,
1298
00:48:38.659 --> 00:48:40.860
so I had to sit in a pool with, like,
1299
00:48:40.880 --> 00:48:43.840
the other six guys in my team in a canoe
1300
00:48:43.860 --> 00:48:48.829
and just row against a thing while someone's going, row, row.
1301
00:48:48.889 --> 00:48:50.429
And I was like, this is a joke, isn't it? Like,
1302
00:48:50.449 --> 00:48:51.210
this is not funny.
1303
00:48:51.269 --> 00:48:51.869
That is awful.
1304
00:48:54.269 --> 00:48:54.750
Terrible.
1305
00:48:54.769 --> 00:48:57.469
That's not going to incentivise you to do well, is it?
1306
00:48:57.489 --> 00:48:59.849
That's why I lost the rest of them. On purpose.
1307
00:49:00.230 --> 00:49:01.429
And what's it like to be fired?
1308
00:49:01.489 --> 00:49:02.670
Is that a relief in the end?
1309
00:49:03.550 --> 00:49:05.269
No, because you obviously want the money, don't you?
1310
00:49:05.289 --> 00:49:06.590
Right, yeah.
1311
00:49:07.050 --> 00:49:07.880
I want them reddies.
1312
00:49:08.340 --> 00:49:11.139
Final question, Tom, but it's about Sinead. We don't ask
1313
00:49:11.199 --> 00:49:13.500
everyone about Sinead, just for you, obviously, it's about Sinead.
1314
00:49:13.800 --> 00:49:15.949
What's the one thing she does parenting-wise that makes you go, oh,
1315
00:49:16.070 --> 00:49:19.010
she's amazing, I'm so lucky to have her as my
1316
00:49:19.150 --> 00:49:19.969
partner and mother?
1317
00:49:20.139 --> 00:49:20.679
Of my kids?
1318
00:49:20.760 --> 00:49:22.079
And then what's the one thing she does that sort
1319
00:49:22.099 --> 00:49:23.820
of frustrates you a little bit with the kids that
1320
00:49:24.099 --> 00:49:26.360
if she was listening, she might go, yeah, he's got
1321
00:49:26.389 --> 00:49:26.909
a fair point?
1322
00:49:27.329 --> 00:49:30.510
So I think that the way she's just so honest,
1323
00:49:30.530 --> 00:49:31.329
she knows what the babies want.
1324
00:49:31.349 --> 00:49:33.989
She knows which one's which. Yeah, she knows what babies want.
1325
00:49:34.010 --> 00:49:37.780
LAUGHTER Do you know, like, when the baby starts crying,
1326
00:49:38.079 --> 00:49:40.579
I sometimes don't hear it. She'll just sit up, get up, bang,
1327
00:49:40.599 --> 00:49:42.900
she's on it. Or if Henry's upset, she knows what
1328
00:49:42.940 --> 00:49:46.219
he wants. Like, she's so good at being a mum. And, like,
1329
00:49:46.239 --> 00:49:48.059
she'll sit there and she'll be, I don't know, doing
1330
00:49:48.099 --> 00:49:50.280
a coloring book with Henry. Yeah, she's got one twin there.
1331
00:49:50.300 --> 00:49:53.019
She's just multitasking. Whereas I'm like, oh, I've dropped the
1332
00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:54.969
baby again. Like, obviously I'm not like.
1333
00:49:55.010 --> 00:49:56.829
Yeah, to clear up, you're not actually dropping the babies.
1334
00:49:56.929 --> 00:49:59.489
It's just a bit of fun. Yeah, but, I mean, almost.
1335
00:50:02.210 --> 00:50:03.349
One thing that she does to annoy me.
1336
00:50:04.599 --> 00:50:07.500
probably when Henry wakes up at night sometimes yeah because
1337
00:50:07.539 --> 00:50:10.630
obviously his bedroom is next to our bedroom and he's
1338
00:50:10.670 --> 00:50:14.409
got a little gate on there yeah and I'll sometimes
1339
00:50:14.510 --> 00:50:15.369
open it in the middle of the night so he
1340
00:50:15.389 --> 00:50:17.070
can come in and get a little cuddle yeah because
1341
00:50:17.110 --> 00:50:18.820
I just like have a little cuddle with him because
1342
00:50:18.840 --> 00:50:20.519
remember I wake up three four in the morning so
1343
00:50:20.539 --> 00:50:21.739
like if he wakes up I have a little cuddle
1344
00:50:21.780 --> 00:50:22.719
and I get in the shower and I go to
1345
00:50:22.780 --> 00:50:25.099
work She would hear me go, dink, and she would
1346
00:50:25.179 --> 00:50:27.079
wake up when I'm asleep, like when she's doing the twins,
1347
00:50:27.139 --> 00:50:29.260
and then lock the little gate so he can't come
1348
00:50:29.280 --> 00:50:30.260
in for a little cuddle in the morning.
1349
00:50:30.659 --> 00:50:31.989
That annoys you a little bit, but you can see
1350
00:50:32.030 --> 00:50:32.760
why she's doing it.
1351
00:50:33.030 --> 00:50:35.090
Yeah, she's like, he shouldn't be leaving his bed.
1352
00:50:35.110 --> 00:50:36.829
Well, that's because you piss off at three and she's
1353
00:50:36.849 --> 00:50:38.530
got to sleep with a toddler for hours.
1354
00:50:39.070 --> 00:50:40.889
As she said, she's like, now I've got three kids,
1355
00:50:40.949 --> 00:50:43.010
wide awake, three in the morning, and I've had no sleep.
1356
00:50:44.030 --> 00:50:49.690
And you're in the cafe going, good morning, you lovely people. Tom,
1357
00:50:49.750 --> 00:50:51.269
thanks so much, mate. And good luck with the book
1358
00:50:51.590 --> 00:50:53.269
and everything else. What's the name of the book one
1359
00:50:53.289 --> 00:50:58.800
more time? It's called Graft, How to Smash Life. Abash. Cheers, Tom.
1360
00:50:58.820 --> 00:51:00.239
Have a good one, mate. Have a good day, guys.
1361
00:51:00.260 --> 00:51:00.960
See you later.
1362
00:51:03.400 --> 00:51:04.500
Tom Skinner.
1363
00:51:04.719 --> 00:51:05.030
Abash.
1364
00:51:05.050 --> 00:51:05.889
What a lovely bloke.
1365
00:51:05.909 --> 00:51:06.469
Full of beans.
1366
00:51:07.090 --> 00:51:08.769
He's just so animated, isn't he?
1367
00:51:09.050 --> 00:51:11.250
When he first appeared on The Apprentice, how many tweets
1368
00:51:11.289 --> 00:51:11.809
did you get, Rob?
1369
00:51:12.289 --> 00:51:14.070
Yeah, a lot of people saying it's... But we're actually
1370
00:51:14.090 --> 00:51:16.610
very different in real life. Like, I've got a beard now. Also,
1371
00:51:16.630 --> 00:51:18.349
he's much bigger than me. He's, like, six foot one.
1372
00:51:18.389 --> 00:51:19.150
I'm five foot eight.
1373
00:51:19.170 --> 00:51:22.449
Yeah, you're not having a lasagna at four foot... Four foot.
1374
00:51:22.469 --> 00:51:24.369
Four foot AM.
1375
00:51:24.840 --> 00:51:25.469
Fucking hell.
1376
00:51:26.889 --> 00:51:28.719
He sounds like you need a fucking lasagna at four
1377
00:51:28.739 --> 00:51:29.420
foot AM, mate.
1378
00:51:29.500 --> 00:51:31.219
I should have asked him about lasagna at Christmas, what
1379
00:51:31.239 --> 00:51:31.780
his view was.
1380
00:51:31.800 --> 00:51:33.940
Fuck! Oh, God, yes. Maybe next time.
1381
00:51:34.199 --> 00:51:36.920
But, yeah, buy his book, Tom Skinner. Good luck with
1382
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:39.639
a graft. Right, see you next week. See you Tuesday.
1383
00:51:40.039 --> 00:51:40.699
See you Tuesday.
1384
00:51:40.780 --> 00:51:41.460
Bye. Bye. Bye.
1385
00:51:46.329 --> 00:51:47.090
Hi, guys.
1386
00:51:47.250 --> 00:51:50.650
Fatih El Ghori here. Quick question, bruv. Do you like
1387
00:51:50.690 --> 00:51:53.969
to laugh? Do you like to give money to good causes?
1388
00:51:54.360 --> 00:51:55.420
Course you do, bruv.
1389
00:51:55.480 --> 00:51:56.239
Course you do.
1390
00:51:56.260 --> 00:51:59.820
Well, listen, on Thursday the 2nd of November at Hackney Empire,
1391
00:52:00.300 --> 00:52:04.039
I'm hosting a comedy night with a star-studded line-up. Heard
1392
00:52:04.079 --> 00:52:09.579
of Rob Beckett, Jack D, Kerry Godleman, Axel Blake, Joanne McNally,
1393
00:52:09.969 --> 00:52:13.340
Harry Hill, Well, yeah, I pulled some strings, didn't I?
1394
00:52:13.610 --> 00:52:15.650
They're all going to be joining me to raise money
1395
00:52:15.710 --> 00:52:19.610
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1396
00:52:19.829 --> 00:52:22.630
It's a win for your dopamine levels and your morals.
1397
00:52:22.989 --> 00:52:25.849
So get your tickets at Hackney Empire or Ticketmaster.
1398
00:52:26.190 --> 00:52:27.530
See you there, innit?
1399
00:52:30.179 --> 00:52:31.519
Hello, I'm Jen Brister.
1400
00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:33.119
And I'm Kerry Godliman.
1401
00:52:33.500 --> 00:52:36.539
And we host the brand new podcast series, Memory Lane.
1402
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Each week, we'll be taking a trip down Memory Lane
1403
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with our very special guests. as they bring in full
1404
00:52:42.260 --> 00:52:43.840
photos from their past to talk about.
1405
00:52:44.179 --> 00:52:47.059
And Jen and I will be doing new episodes every week.
1406
00:52:47.860 --> 00:52:49.840
Come on, we can all be nosy together.
1407
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Memory Lane Podcast, available now.
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Hello, I'm Charles Brandreth. What's the very first thing you remember?
1409
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That's the question I'll be asking my famous and fascinating
1410
00:53:04.889 --> 00:53:09.800
guests in Rosebud. My new podcast about first memories and
1411
00:53:09.920 --> 00:53:11.119
first experiences.
1412
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My first memory is handing my Auntie Muriel a piece
1413
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of turd.
1414
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Other guests include Dame Judi Dench, Alison Hammond and Rory Stewart.
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Download and listen wherever you get your podcasts.