Therapy Notes Ep.1| Death Without A Burial bölümünün tam dökümü

don't know, I divorced my ex in 20 uh 2021. 00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:05.360 So we're coming up on five years uh since I got that decree, that final degree in the mail, and that's what got me into it. 00:04:05.520 --> 00:04:13.280 Go back and check out um you know that well in this Wednesday episode where I talked about just you know, it was just something to do at first. 00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:17.839 You know, I was I wanted to, you know, kind of be seen, I guess. 00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:29.279 I was going for all the wrong reasons, and turns out it was the best this best decision of my life because I've been going to therapy consistently for um damn almost six years now. 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:34.480 So yeah, bi-weekly, every Monday, every other Monday, I'm sorry, I go. 00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:36.240 Um, Miss Manly, shout out. 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:38.160 I found her through Grow Therapy. 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:45.680 So yeah, check out that episode and I give give you uh a little guidelines and and things of like how I found my therapist, good sites to use. 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:48.160 I use growth therapy, that's how I found mine. 00:04:48.399 --> 00:04:55.360 Also went through like four therapists, so you know it was it was a lot of a lot of learning, a lot of trial and error. 00:04:55.680 --> 00:04:58.480 Go check that out if you get a chance. 00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:01.199 You might find it um informative. 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:03.519 Also, that was me on the intro, man. 00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:09.759 Uh, a lot of y'all know that I have a lot of outlets that I use for therapy, and I'm gonna talk about that. 00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:11.040 RB is one of them. 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:19.439 That's my podcast, Heavy on the RB with K, where I talk about the rhythms and the blues of my life, general life, your life, and you know, it's just a good time to fellowship. 00:05:19.600 --> 00:05:21.360 But I do a little singing, man. 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:22.720 I can hold a low tune. 00:05:22.800 --> 00:05:25.360 I really can't, you know, go too higher than that. 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:27.600 Um, but I do create RB songs. 00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:31.360 I write, I got a crazy thick poetry book, pause. 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:36.560 Um, I got a lot of a lot of notes in my OneNote, a lot of journaling, man. 00:05:36.639 --> 00:05:41.680 Because I spent a lot of time in isolation just growing up, and you know, we'll we'll get into all of that though. 00:05:41.839 --> 00:05:47.279 The story of K way is more than just you know, a funny nigga in the comments that's witty and things like that. 00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:48.720 It's a different side of me. 00:05:48.879 --> 00:05:53.120 So, from my mouth to your ears, like I said in the song, I appreciate y'all. 00:05:53.199 --> 00:05:54.240 So, let's get into it, man. 00:05:54.319 --> 00:06:01.040 I want to talk about death without a burial, why I started and why I stay therapy. 00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:07.680 First thing I

want to talk about is um the hook, you know, in the real human behind the screen. 00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:13.920 So just to just to uh shift the the perspective, um, you know, just a little bit. 00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:23.360 Um so like I said, I started going um in 2021, uh consistently. 00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:28.000 So um at first, like I said, it was just something that I thought I needed to do. 00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:35.439 Uh, but it turns out it was the best decision of my life, and for me, it's helped me be a lot more transparent. 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:40.319 So present day here on Tuesday, um, July, what is this? 00:06:40.639 --> 00:06:41.680 July 28th. 00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:44.480 Just had a birthday three weeks ago on the 8th. 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:56.399 So shout out to the Lord for um blessing me to see another year around the sun, and I didn't get burnt too much, so thank you for that. 00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:09.600 But man, honestly, if I'm like being all the way transparent, like I said I was gonna do, that's why you know I created the song, I use my raw vocals, um, touched them up a little bit with a little bit of reverb, but that's me. 00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:11.920 Uh, I gotta be honest with the people, man. 00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:15.519 I've been pouring from an empty cut, uh empty cup lately. 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:17.279 Man, I've been exhausted. 00:07:17.439 --> 00:07:22.000 Like, so um, daytime I'm an engineer. 00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:30.399 Everybody knows I graduated from UCLA last year with my master's um in uh computer science, specializing in cybersecurity. 00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:32.000 Uh, that's what I do. 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:41.040 And man, it's it's hard working for a company where you like kind of you know worried about rifts, you always looking over your shoulder. 00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:46.480 You you're the only person of color in the entire company um on this side of the country. 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:50.319 So, man, I've been putting in a lot of like just 16-hour days, man. 00:07:50.399 --> 00:08:11.360 Like, and then working from home in isolation where uh my fiance is gone most of the day, and I you know, none of my friends live here in Dago, so I don't really like have a lot of interaction, but man, just being on that road a lot, you know, out problem solving, presentations, conferences, a lot of cybersecurity-ish, a lot of breaches, you know, going on. 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:13.920 Kind of working myself into a ground, you know. 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:21.120 When you when you when you work in 16-hour days, like for 30, 40 days straight, man, it'll it'll wear on you. 00:08:21.279 --> 00:08:28.160 So um about two weeks ago in my latest in my therapy session, like my my therapist, Miss Manly, Mrs. 00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:33.759 Manley, she I guess she saw a change in like low energy and everything. 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:38.240 And um, man, she was like, you know, you cannot pour it from an empty cup. 00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:42.559 So I decided to take some time off for work because that's what you got it for, right? 00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:47.360 I don't think God put us on this earth just to go to work, pay bills, and wake up and do it all over again. 00:08:47.519 --> 00:08:52.159 Um, you we we as humans, we are meant to live, um, not to exist. 00:08:52.720 --> 00:09:04.240 And um, I think going into this wedding that's 12 weeks away, I needed to reset, refocus, and get back to living because I was I was just existing, you know, just working and trying to meet metrics and KPIs and things like that. 00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:09.679 Man, y'all know how it goes, especially when you a person of color, you the only person of color, you know. 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:11.120 Y'all know how that can go. 00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:19.440 So I recognize I wasn't myself, you know, falling falling asleep doing the little things, driving behind the wheel. 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:25.200 It had a very um scary incident, and um yeah, man. 00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:30.639 I I'm I want to live, I want to live for myself, I want to live for my family. 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:38.480 Uh the the wedding is coming up, live for my fiance, my dog, the kids, you know, like hopefully they have kids soon. 00:09:38.799 --> 00:09:55.519 Um, so yeah, so here I am, you know, introducing therapy Tuesdays, and I want to frame this series as bringing um actionable notes and real life realizations straight from my bi weekly therapy couch um to the audience, to you guys' ears. 00:09:55.759 --> 00:09:57.519 So here we go. 00:09:57.919 --> 00:10:01.440 Um, rock bottom and death without a burial. 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:06.000 This is how I stayed, why I went to therapy and I stayed in therapy. 00:10:06.080 --> 00:10:09.120 I had a like just a cumulative loss. 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:15.200 Um so, along with the divorce, my mother died uh 10 days before I got married. 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:18.080 My mother died October 23rd, 2018. 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:21.679 I got married November 3rd, 2018. 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:24.879 I funeralized my mother, eulogized her on November 7th. 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:29.120 So you can understand like the range of emotions that I was going through. 00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:44.159 Um and six months before my mother passed, my grandfather passed, and about eight, six, eight months after my mother passed, my grandmother passed, then they found my aunt um in the alley overdose. 00:10:44.320 --> 00:10:46.320 I lost two uncles the following year. 00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:49.120 So it was just like a lot of loss, man. 00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:50.639 A lot of loss, a lot of loss. 00:10:50.799 --> 00:11:00.879 Um, and then you you tacked that on with the with the ensuing divorce about a year, shit, not even well, yeah, about 14, 16 months later, it was another loss. 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:07.679 And essentially, when I first started going to therapy, my therapist told me, you

know, you gotta be okay with saying that you divorced. 00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:12.159 And it was embarrassing at first because the first thing that people would ask, well, what'd you do? 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:14.240 And it's like, I didn't do shit. 00:11:14.639 --> 00:11:18.000 In this instance, this ain't a Tyler Perry movie, you know what I'm saying? 00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:23.919 Um, I'm not like there was no infidelity, there was no heat uh hitting. 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:33.200 Um, it was just a person that wanted to play team ball, and the other person didn't want to play team ball without essentially throwing her under the bus. 00:11:33.519 --> 00:11:37.120 Um, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't nothing malicious. 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:40.399 And I decided to to leave. 00:11:40.639 --> 00:11:43.919 So, you know, I was the one to introduce the paperwork and everything. 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:47.759 And I did try to save my marriage at the end because I was like, damn, I'm in a church. 00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:49.679 I'm I'm I'm one of the youth leaders here. 00:11:49.759 --> 00:11:50.720 This is kind of embarrassing. 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:53.840 You know, that's that's some smut you don't want on your name, right? 00:11:54.159 --> 00:12:00.720 But my therapist said you gotta you gotta be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and you just gotta come to the realization that it's over, man. 00:12:00.799 --> 00:12:01.200 It's over. 00:12:01.279 --> 00:12:02.159 It's you try it. 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:05.600 She said she didn't want to work it out, and that's what you gotta do, man. 00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:18.480 So, you know, the death without a burial comes when you divorce somebody, you gotta, you know, the the in-laws, the cousins with that, and and me not having a lot of family, her family in return became my family. 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:20.000 And me and her cousin, we was close. 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:21.600 Like that was that was my homegirl, man. 00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:24.159 Like uh older sister to me. 00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:27.120 So you deal with that, right? 00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:34.879 Um, and I think the mistake that I made is I waited till my world was on fire, literally burning into the ground to go to therapy. 00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:40.720 This is after it failed suicide attempt, literally had a gun in my head, squeezed the trigger, and the shit fell apart. 00:12:40.799 --> 00:12:43.039 Like I'm like really here for a reason. 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:48.240 So um, you know, I'll and I'll go more to that as we journey through these therapy Tuesdays. 00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:57.360 Um so my one of my rule first number rule uh first rule rule number one uh to men, especially black men out there. 00:12:57.440 --> 00:12:58.320 Now, this is for everybody. 00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:09.039 This ain't just you know for black people, white people, uh Asian, whatever, whatever your uh, you know, your race, creed, religion, color, whatever it is, this for everybody. 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:10.159 This is my opinion. 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:11.679 I'm not a licensed therapist. 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:13.919 This is just what I suggest. 00:13:14.080 --> 00:13:34.960 Um, you know, and I'm not giving out no medical advice, but for me, if you are a man, especially, man, run, don't walk to therapy, don't wait like I did until your life is in the gutter to reach out for a lifeline because everybody don't receive that lifeline and they're not able to make it out, and you just never know what could happen. 00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:43.600 Rule number two is you gotta understand the distinction between distinction distinction, Jesus English language been kicking my ass lately. 00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:49.600 You gotta understand the difference between spiritual guidance and professional clinical care. 00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:57.600 I was a person, I was in the church, I was one of the youth leaders, I relied on a lot of crooked deacons that gave me a lot of crooked ass information. 00:13:58.720 --> 00:14:00.159 Shouldn't have never done that. 00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:01.840 I learned the hard way. 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:05.759 Trust me, brothers and sisters, this is not something you want to do. 00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:17.440 Um, I think the the danger of misspelled faith is this is spiritual advisors offer comfort, prayer, and faith, but they do not replace licensed clinical therapy. 00:14:17.759 --> 00:14:20.720 For me, I had to learn that the hard way. 00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:28.000 You cannot pray away clinical trauma or acute depression um or suicidal thoughts. 00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:37.360 Uh well, I guess you could pray on it, but you know, you you you need a professional, you know, any more than you could you could pray away a compound fracture. 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:42.879 You break your bone, you're not just like, you know, Lord, please put some robot testing on this and let this shit heal up. 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:45.039 Nah, you need an actual doctor. 00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:48.000 You gotta build a true care team, right? 00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:57.840 So um the difference that I found between like the people at the church and my therapist now, Mrs. 00:14:57.919 --> 00:14:58.799 Manley, is Mrs. 00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:04.320 Manley is a is a licensed um therapist and she cares about me on a human level. 00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:17.440 She's not just here for the copay, and I think oftentimes church folk become a little too judgmental in um either their diagnosis or their treatment, and it could push you backwards. 00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:18.159 You know what I'm saying? 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:24.799 Everything may not work for everybody, and I think, you know, I mean, God created doctors and therapists for a reason. 00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:30.000 Um, so I just think you know, everybody works together. 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:40.240 It it works a tandem, it's it works in a tandem, you know, with my my therapist

and my primary care physician, you know, they they know they got uh they got different notes. 00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:41.039 Sorry about that. 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:48.879 I share my notes with with both of them, you know, because I want to make sure that I am my best self and my health is is A1 from day one. 00:15:49.120 --> 00:15:52.159 So um that those are a few rules. 00:15:52.480 --> 00:16:04.799 Now we're gonna get into some other things, and for me, right now, therapy is preventative maintenance, and uh one of the first things is the external the external world pressure. 00:16:05.039 --> 00:16:07.919 That's why I keep going all these years bi-weekly. 00:16:08.480 --> 00:16:22.639 Um I think beyond my personal life, the daily news cycle is overwhelming, corporate quotas is overwhelming, societal violence, systemic pressures, uh, medical disparities affect affecting black men and women. 00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:29.200 You got you know, cops killing black men and and doctors killing black women, uh, even the food root recalls. 00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:33.600 I can't even eat Taco Bell no more or get lettuce without my asshole exploding. 00:16:33.679 --> 00:16:36.320 Like it's just it's it's all over the place. 00:16:36.879 --> 00:16:48.559 So for me, you couple all that stuff in, and you just you know, you kind of need the uh the preventative care for me because I can't do all of this alone. 00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:56.960 I can't uh I can't just walk through daily life like existing and you know acting like this. 00:16:57.120 --> 00:16:58.240 None of this bothers me. 00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:00.639 I'm human, like it does bother me. 00:17:00.799 --> 00:17:05.440 So that's that's why I I still go uh biweekly, and it's a preventative model. 00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:14.720 I don't want to wait for my engine to blow on the highway or you know, it my engine to catch my car to catch on fire before I change my oil. 00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:19.039 To me, therapy is a tune up, it keeps me from crashing out when life gets heavy. 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:23.440 And like I said in previous episodes, therapy is keeping a lot of y'all safe. 00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:32.240 I'm a very nice guy, but there's a side of K Wade that you know I don't want to go back to back in the day where I'm from, you know, West Side of Nap growing up. 00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:34.640 Like, I don't want to let's just leave that there. 00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:37.279 I'm gonna I'm gonna leave that there, man. 00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:39.759 Uh, also there's an ecosystem of healing for me. 00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:41.440 I lean on Romans 8.28. 00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:44.319 If you're a person of faith, um, you get it. 00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:45.839 If not, it may not be for you. 00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:48.799 You gotta find what works for you, and there's a multitude of things. 00:17:48.880 --> 00:18:00.240 But for me, Romans 8.28 says God works for our good and brings good out of all things, and that's just what I kind of I lean on, you know. 00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:02.640 Um I encompass it all. 00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:04.240 Therapy works alongside prayer. 00:18:04.319 --> 00:18:06.559 I'm not sacrificing one for the other, I do it all. 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:14.079 I got you know, I go to the morning, uh to the beach, I do morning beach devotions, scripture, meditation, RB podcast, RB is healing for me. 00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:20.559 Um, not only my podcast where I talk about you know the rhythms and the blues of life, hence RB, but music is an outlet. 00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:26.480 I lean into music that means something, people that say something, people that evoke emotion out of a song, you know. 00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.799 That's why I'm so addicted to nostalgia. 00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:31.200 We just don't have that nowadays. 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:34.960 Um, you know, and that's just that's just where it is, man. 00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:43.519 Um and also there there you can you can deep dive into all of this, you know, when it comes to black men in mental health care. 00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:58.880 So uh the CDC along with the uh uh the st uh statistical and data research findings show that black adults are 30% less likely to receive mental health mental health care treatment compared to the national average. 00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:18.000 So we not only gotta deal with the racial microaggressions at our job and and in public, but we also have to deal with severe emotional distress and especially in men, and it presents itself as burnout, which could turn into rage, and then rage can turn into extreme fatigue, and then we don't want to go past that. 00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:20.240 We already know what what happens after that. 00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:24.799 So I just think we gotta no, I'm trying to normalize seeking help. 00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:32.640 Um I don't want to show like stoicism and suffering and silence, and that's a that's a systemic issue, you know what I'm saying? 00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:40.240 So I told myself I was gonna I was gonna start this segment of the podcast and and uh and be vulnerable and honest, and that's what I'm doing. 00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:45.599 Um, also divorce is a uh a psychic a psych psychological impact almost. 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:59.200 So studies show um uh studies in the journal show that uh epidemiology and community health uh it was some journal I read, but they indicated divorced men face two and a half to nine. 00:19:59.519 --> 00:20:02.480 That's a crazy, crazy number, by the way. 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:12.480 Two and a half to nine times higher risk of severe depression, suicide compared to married men, largely due to sudden loss of primary social and emotional networks. 00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:14.079 And I went through this. 00:20:14.319 --> 00:20:22.079 All the loss that I detailed at the beginning of this segment, I literally went through this and I was done, like I was finished where I ain't

want to exist no more. 00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:24.400 So I know that to be true. 00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:44.960 And I think for me, you know, I just had to validate the phrase that death without a burial, it basically explains why losing an ex-spouse, a family member, a mother, brother, sister, cousin, it feels like fuck feels like it is, it's total grief, and you gotta deal with that in the best way possible. 00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:48.880 And hopefully, some of these things that I'm saying to give you the tools to do that. 00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:51.599 Um, you also got faith versus clinical therapy. 00:20:51.759 --> 00:21:00.960 For me, I think uh I read a study that over 80% of black Americans identify church slash faith as their primary wellness tool. 00:21:01.200 --> 00:21:02.160 That's cool. 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:05.119 Instead of putting period there, I think we should put a comma. 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:16.960 Like, because while spiritual foundation and guidance would you know it is is cool, uh, but without medical and psychological intervention, it it can leave clinical trauma unaddressed. 00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:21.519 And you know, I I know my mama said some real stuff to me one time. 00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:26.400 She said, I know a lot of nice people that's going to hell, I know a lot of nice people that's suffering inside. 00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:28.640 Like, you know what I'm saying? 00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:29.839 You can correlate the two. 00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.559 There's a there's a uh man, just do it all. 00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:36.160 I cannot stress that enough. 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:38.000 Don't lean on one more than the other. 00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:40.160 Man, do it all, do what works for you. 00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:43.039 Um, and that's why I said I lean on Romans 828. 00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:46.799 Also, you got the corporate stress in the in the physiology of it. 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:54.000 So, um, like man, 16 hour work days is not meant for anybody. 00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:59.599 I I don't I don't I feel like only we do that, only we normalize stuff like that in America, you know. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:03.039 Like I've I I I made a video to Dr. 00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:05.920 Eric Thomas uh speech, bad as I wanna breathe. 00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:11.519 And in hindsight, as an adult in my late 30s, looking at 40, I kind of regret that. 00:22:11.599 --> 00:22:12.160 You know what I'm saying? 00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:14.720 I don't regret the grind, but the message. 00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:20.480 Like when you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, because he said something in there, like, you know, you gotta you gotta want it so bad that you forget to eat. 00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:21.519 Like, nigga, what? 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:24.160 Nah, take care of your stomach first, man. 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:29.279 Because that goes back to you being able to uh you can't pour from an empty cup. 00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:33.519 And

uh, I don't know if I could go back, I would have I would have modified it. 00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:34.559 Great video though. 00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:41.519 Um, so utilize your PTO, that's what it's there for, especially if you at a company where you got unlimited PTO. 00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:44.880 Like I said, man, God didn't create us just to exist, you know. 00:22:44.960 --> 00:22:46.160 We supposed to live. 00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:52.720 Um, we're not supposed to just go to work, pay bills, and um wake up and the next day and do it all over again. 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:57.680 There's more to life than that because those bills are always gonna be there, always gonna be there. 00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:07.200 And you know, wrapping this up, you know, I uh there's some people that I saw struggling with mental health, and they were they were open about it, and it kind of motivated me to talk about it. 00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:17.680 Now, regardless of how you feel about this brother, um, I do appreciate him opening up about his his uh his bout with mental health, and that's Charlemagne guy. 00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:34.079 Uh, I know he he frequently speaks about transitioning from you know South Carolina street trauma to uh and stoicism to advocating for licensed therapy and and emphasizing, you know, for black men especially, you know, go get the tools you need to continue to live a prosperous life. 00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:37.359 I know Jay-Z in 444, he rapped about this. 00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:39.599 Same thing with with Kendrick Lamar, Mr. 00:23:39.759 --> 00:23:44.160 Morale and the Big Steppers to me should be the most important album to men. 00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:46.000 Unhealed men. 00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:50.559 If you if you have not listened to that, please, please give it a chance, man. 00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:53.359 Go zone out somewhere and listen to it. 00:23:53.519 --> 00:24:06.000 Uh Damar DeRozan and Kevin Love, you know, NBA superstar, NBA champs, they talked about just how they uh, you know, they they suffer from anxiety, high anxiety, and and you know, that can affect performance. 00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:14.720 Um, I was a uh a high-stakes athlete, I was a professional athlete at once, so I definitely understand uh what they were going through. 00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:17.599 So, you know, we're not the only ones. 00:24:17.920 --> 00:24:25.759 Uh I mean, the depression, mental health struggles, uh, anxiety, it it affects everybody. 00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:29.599 Your money don't matter, your status don't matter. 00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:35.359 Nobody is above from dealing with these real issues that nobody wants to talk about. 00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:47.920 So, you know, for me, man, wrapping this episode up, I just wanted to get on here real quick and and just you know give some free game on my therapy notes, and uh hopefully it impacts you. 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:58.799 And one thing that I will ask directly, man, if you listening to this, um if you if you're listening to this, uh do you feel like you've been pouring from an empty cup? 00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:02.480 And what is one thing that you can unplug from today? 00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:05.200 And if you can do that, do it. 00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:09.759 I encourage everybody, man, like, comment, subscribe, share this. 00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:13.599 We're gonna start this mental health journey together and we're gonna dive deeper. 00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:25.519 Y'all gonna get to know me a little more, and hopefully, in return in the comments, and who knows when I start showing my face on camera and and all of this, you mean we you know we can really start connecting on a uh human face to face level. 00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:28.400 But like I close out the podcast with heavy RB, man. 00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:32.160 Please, man, put value in yourself by taking care of your mental. 00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:36.000 That way, we could put value in each other and we can have a value society. 00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:37.119 Peace.