บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ stop trying to constantly fix yourself

most importantly, are you actually enjoying life? 00:03:15.199 --> 00:03:17.840 Because I had to ask myself this question lately. 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:24.639 I've just been feeling so overwhelmed, and it has taken a toll on me. 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:27.919 You guys know that I skipped a week of podcasting. 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:33.039 You're not seeing my face for the second time in a row, right? 00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:38.879 It's showing out really how I'm feeling, but I'm still making the effort to show up. 00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:52.639 However, last week I had an appointment actually with a mental health professional because honestly, I feel like I need help, like, not help in the way that you might think. 00:03:52.719 --> 00:03:56.560 Okay, I wasn't going there because I feel like my life was falling apart. 00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:12.000 I actually went because I feel like I needed serious help with my productivity, like I'm trying to figure it all out at the same time, and I was asking myself for the past couple weeks, why can't I get everything done? 00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:14.800 Why am I struggling to stay consistent? 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:17.519 Why do I feel like I'm always behind? 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:21.839 Do I need to take another look at my life? 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:23.759 Do another life analysis? 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:25.360 What is happening? 00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:30.399 So that's when I made the appointment, and she started to take a look at my life. 00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:35.680 And when I say she really looked at my life, we talked for about two hours before we concluded. 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:49.279 She looked at the things that I'm pursuing actively, the goals that I'm working toward, the commitments that I've um made, the things that I'm trying to balance, and how all of it is affecting my overall well-being. 00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:49.839 Right? 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:55.759 And we got to the end of that conversation, and essentially we came up to the conclusion. 00:04:56.000 --> 00:05:01.680 She was like, Whoo, girl, like she was tired by the end of the conversation. 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:05.519 And essentially, she's like, girl, you are doing too much. 00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:06.720 And I had to laugh. 00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:10.240 I'm like, girl, I know, I know, I have a lot going on. 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:16.879 And it made me think about when we would be in talking stages with our guys or girls, right? 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:19.360 And they would be like, Sorry, I'm distant. 00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:20.959 I really just got a lot going on right now. 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:22.160 I can't really do this. 00:05:22.399 --> 00:05:24.319 And I really felt that in that moment. 00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:31.279 Like, even if I try to date, I don't know how that would fit in my life because I really do have a lot going on. 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:33.759 Like, I baby, I cannot focus on you right now. 00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:39.600 I got too much on my plate to add you to this, you would not feel seen, heard, or valued, right? 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:40.800 No shade. 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:43.199 So, I mean that with love. 00:05:43.519 --> 00:05:48.639 I am humbly booked and busy, but apparently too booked and busy. 00:05:48.879 --> 00:05:58.959 What I realized is that my desire to be successful and high achieving has me putting my hands in way too many baskets. 00:05:59.120 --> 00:06:14.000 I have all of these dreams, all of these ideas, all of these things that I want to accomplish, and honestly, I think it comes from some type of like internal trauma. 00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:14.720 I don't know. 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:21.519 I have to dig a little deeper because why do I want to be high achieving? 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:23.199 Is what I asked myself. 00:06:23.839 --> 00:06:26.480 Not that that's a crime, not that that's a problem. 00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:32.560 I think it's important to have ambition and want to succeed. 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:34.800 Maybe I'm overthinking it. 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:35.839 I don't know. 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:42.240 Is it is it a crime to be overachieving or high achieving? 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:49.199 To have all these dreams, have all of these ideas, all of these things I want to accomplish, right? 00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:54.399 And the problem, I believe, isn't that I have dreams. 00:06:54.560 --> 00:07:02.800 I think what the challenge is is that I keep trying to actively pursue every single one of them at the same time. 00:07:03.519 --> 00:07:07.040 And when you do that, something has to give. 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:24.000 For me, it started affecting the things that should not essentially be sacrificed, like my sleep, my eating habits, movement, my energy, my ability to focus, my overall wellness. 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:28.399 And the funny thing is that we've talked about this before, guys. 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:39.040 Like, if you've been listening and you've been tuning in for a minute, you know that in a couple episodes ago, you remember me talking about trying to figure out how to balance all the things. 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:40.639 Like, I was doing that in real life. 00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:50.720 We went over my list and we prioritized some things and put some things on back burner, but that still wasn't enough. 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:57.519 This time I had to like address it differently with someone else to help me and guide me. 00:07:57.680 --> 00:08:04.480 I realized that I don't want to spend my entire life trying to fix myself or trying to achieve something. 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:18.079 I don't want to constantly be thinking about the next thing that I need to improve about myself, the next goal I need to hit, the next level I need to reach, the next version of myself I need to become. 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:21.439 Because essentially, when does it end? 00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:23.680 When do you become

satisfied? 00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:27.600 When do I get to look around and say I'm actually okay? 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:33.519 When do I get to enjoy what I've worked for? 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:36.960 When do I get to appreciate the person I've become? 00:08:37.279 --> 00:08:43.679 When do I get to sit in the life that God has given me without immediately asking myself, okay, what's next? 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:53.279 And maybe, friend, you need to hear that as well because we are allowed to enjoy our life before it's perfect. 00:08:53.840 --> 00:09:05.279 Okay, we are allowed to love ourselves while we are still growing, we are allowed to stop growing for a second and just be. 00:09:06.159 --> 00:09:13.360 We're allowed to be proud of who we are, even though things are still needing work. 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:29.600 You're allowed to sit in the present without turning the present into another project, because sometimes we treat our lives like we're in constant renovation, especially in this self-help world. 00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:54.480 So, although this podcast is about the journey from overthinking to overcoming, I want us to also understand that it's okay to love who you are in the present and take a moment to just be without feeling like you need to pursue anything or become something. 00:09:55.120 --> 00:10:12.639 I have this tattoo on the back of my neck of a spiral because I do believe that life is ever evolving, and we're going to always grow from something if we allow the lessons, if we embrace the lessons. 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:13.919 You know? 00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:18.320 So it's okay. 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:23.440 Don't think in a place of okay, do we need to fix this? 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:27.600 We need to improve that, we need to lose this, we need to accomplish this thing. 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:34.399 We're constantly looking at ourselves through a lens of what's missing. 00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:35.440 Right? 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:41.440 And it's important to think about okay, what is already here? 00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:47.279 What about the things that you've prayed for that you have now? 00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:51.440 I'm literally sitting in an answer prayer. 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:56.000 I'm just in awe of how far I've come. 00:10:56.559 --> 00:11:01.679 It's important for me to take moments to thank God and be present in that. 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:10.879 Think about the person you used to be who will be amazed at who you are today. 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:12.480 Can you celebrate her? 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:13.759 Can you celebrate him? 00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:19.679 Can you celebrate yourself without immediately attaching another goal to it? 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:23.200 And this is when I think about Ecclesiastes. 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:25.279 Ecclesiastes 2 and 3. 00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:28.240 Um, the writer talks about seasons, right? 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:35.039 A time to plant, a time to harvest, a time to work, a time to rest, a time for everything under heaven. 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:44.399 I think sometimes we understand the concept of seasons intellectually, but we don't actually live like we believe it. 00:11:44.559 --> 00:11:47.840 I want to read a part in Ecclesiastes 3 that I love. 00:11:48.879 --> 00:11:54.159 It says in verse 9, what do people really get for all their hard work? 00:11:54.879 --> 00:12:01.840 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all, yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:10.480 He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. 00:12:10.799 --> 00:12:16.879 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:23.279 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. 00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:37.919 That should encourage you to be okay, to sit for a second, take it in, and understand that God gives you these things to enjoy. 00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:39.600 You don't have to consistently work. 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:46.879 It's okay to rest, it's okay to enjoy what you've put your work into. 00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:49.279 Right? 00:12:49.519 --> 00:12:51.600 We want to see the results immediately. 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:55.519 We want to build something and immediately move on to the next thing. 00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:59.519 But what if there's also a season where you're supposed to enjoy the fruit? 00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:00.639 Because there is. 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:03.679 Think about sitting down, right? 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:10.000 Breathe, look around and say, Wow, look at what God has done. 00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:13.679 Maybe the next thing isn't another goal. 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:15.519 Maybe the next thing is rest. 00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:25.440 Maybe the next thing is booking a dinner with your friends or taking yourself out on a date, sleeping in, going outside, go dilly-dally. 00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:33.519 It can look like having a key key with your girls or your family and doing absolutely nothing productive with your day. 00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:37.440 And realize that even in that, your life still has value. 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:46.080 Because you are not only valuable when you're accomplishing something, you don't have to earn the right to rest. 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:52.320 I've talked about this with us before, and this is my reminder to myself. 00:13:53.039 --> 00:13:55.519 I think that's my C-La moment. 00:13:55.840 --> 00:14:02.639 I'm learning that there is a difference between being stagnant and being still. 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:06.320 Stillness doesn't mean I give up on my dreams. 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:10.720 It doesn't mean I'm not ambitious or that I don't want more, right? 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:16.879 It means that I understand that I can want more without

rejecting what I have today. 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:20.159 I can have goals and still rest. 00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:24.399 I am ambitious, but I can still have fun. 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:28.960 I can want to grow and still love who I am today. 00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:35.840 I can build something beautiful without making my entire life about the building. 00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:43.759 We talked about soft life and all these things, and that's like a part of it to be okay with yourself. 00:14:43.919 --> 00:14:46.799 You're not a constant project under renovation. 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:59.360 So if you've been feeling overwhelmed lately, know that you can build something without making your entire life about the building. 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:12.000 If you feel like you're behind, if you feel like you have a million things on your plate, or if you're constantly thinking about the next version of yourself, I want you to pause. 00:15:14.799 --> 00:15:20.879 Take a breath, look around because this is your life. 00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:39.360 Not the life that you are waiting for, not the life you think you will have once you hit the goal, not the life you'll have when you finally become the person you've been trying to become. 00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:43.600 This one, this moment, this season, this version of you. 00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:47.279 I want you to love her, I want you to love him. 00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:49.440 Love yourself here. 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:56.480 Because one day you're gonna look back on this exact season and realize you are living in an answer prayer. 00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:05.440 You are so busy trying to um get somewhere else that you never stop to smell the roses. 00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:08.559 So, again, take this as your reminder. 00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:15.600 You don't have to fix everything today, you don't have to accomplish everything today, you don't have to become everything. 00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:28.559 Let this be your seal moment, and when you're ready, you can keep going, you can pick it up again, you can do the next thing, but don't think you have to rush. 00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:31.039 So, journal prompt. 00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:40.559 What would change if I stopped treating my life like something that constantly needs to be fixed and allowed myself to simply enjoy where I am? 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:45.279 Think about if you have dreams that you're trying to pursue all at once. 00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:50.720 What are you currently doing that's draining more than it is fulfilling you? 00:16:53.279 --> 00:17:00.399 And before you close your journal or your notes, I want you to write an affirmation. 00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:04.720 I don't have to rush through this season. 00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:07.680 I am allowed to be here. 00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:16.960 Because if you choose not to rush through this season, what if it all works out? 00:17:19.279 --> 00:17:26.400 And that is it for season two, episode eight of What If It All Works Out. 00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:28.400 Conversations for the Overthinker. 00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:35.920 As always, remember to like, share, subscribe, comment, all the things. 00:17:36.079 --> 00:17:41.680 Follow us on Instagram at weawo-i-i a w o two underscores. 00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:45.119 Again, friends, we're in this together. 00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:49.200 You deserve stillness, you deserve to enjoy your life where you are. 00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:52.400 And never forget that. 00:17:53.759 --> 00:17:57.440 Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in our next talk.