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Welcome to Skin and Soul. I'm Gwenemkarsley, a transformational body,
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sex and Soul coach, and I'm inviting you on a bold,
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unfiltered journey into the heart of our humanity through the
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lens of arrows. This is where we strip away the shame,
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dive into the unspoken, and embrace the wild, raw truth
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of our desires.
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Together we'll crack.
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Open the taboo and cover our deepest intimacies and.
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Awaken the pulse of our sexual essence.
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Because real transformation it's messy, it's thrilling, and it's.
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Oh so delicious.
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Buckle up, loves, Skin and Soul. Beyond the Pale starts
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in three two one. Let's go hi there and welcome.
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I'm Gwenhem I'm your host of Skin and Soul Beyond
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the Pale, where we get to talk about what it
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means to be profoundly human through the lens of arrows,
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which yes, means yummy's sexuality and euphoria and bliss and
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all the yummy stuff as well as the ikey and
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the guck, like the shame, the fear and all of
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that stuff.
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That comes with it.
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And I am in conversation today with Maria Marloney, who
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is a sex and relationship coach, sacred sexuality educator, and
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author of The Naked Truth How becoming a stripper saved
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my life, which I loved.
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I was just talking about it.
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I love it because it's in I want to say,
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it's done in such natural language.
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It's your voice.
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I feel like I'm sitting in the living room with you. So,
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first of all, welcome for being here.
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Yes, thank you so much. I'm very excited to be here.
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And we're gonna be talking about a lot of yummy
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stuff today, everything from women's Yoni massages to the life
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of stripping and coming out and finding your authentic life purpose.
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And I just want people to get a little bit
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of background about how you got to where you are.
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Okay, So let's see. So first, it was a therapist, right,
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I've been a therapist now for over thirty years, if
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you can believe. And I wanted to become a life coach.
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So I signed up for the program, which was in
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California while I was living in Massachusetts, where I still live,
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and I didn't know how I was going to pay
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for it, right, I knew I wanted to do it.
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I knew it was my next step, but I was like, oh,
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I'll figure out the details later. So I was telling
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I had this. My daughter at the time was like
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five or six years old, and she was on a playdate,
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and so I was talking to the other little girl's
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mother and I said, yeah, I signed up for this
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life coaching, you know, school, I don't know how I'm
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going to pay for it. And she said, oh. I
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didn't realize she was an exotic dancer, and she said, oh,
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why don't you just try dancing. It's really easy and
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you'll make a lot of money. And I was like, oh,
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why don't I just do that? Most women and at
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the time, I was thirty seven, right, which is pretty
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old really to be yesterber. Most women would not just say, Okay,
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maybe I'll do that. But I'm an unusual person and
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I'm comfortable showing my body. So I did it, and
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I realized that number one. I totally loved it. I
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had a blast right away. I could definitely pay for
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school that way. And then it started to dawn on
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me like I wasn't just going to become this sort
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of like generic life coach. I was going to be
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a coach that specialized in sex and relationships, because that's
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always been my thing. You know, since I was a teenager,
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people have been asking me questions about sex, so somehow
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like they knew that I was the person to ask.
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So I realized that, yes, that was going to be
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my specialty. And there at the strip club. It's hard
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to understand this really, I think for some people, but
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I was actually doing sacred work with the customers at
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the club. We can
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talk about that more if we want.
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And so I started to realize that in my past lives,
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I was a priestess, so I was doing tontric work
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with people. And then I started teaching these workshops on
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how to do sacred spot massage, which is something that
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you've already mentioned we're going to be talking about. And
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then when I turned fifty eight, I said, you know,
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this Tontraus stuff is really so much more of my
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life purpose than being a you know, I'm a good therabiz,
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I'm a good coach, but I know that that's really
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why I'm here is to start to spread the word
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more about tntra And so I said, well, I'm either
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gonna do it or I'm not going to And I said, yes,
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so here we are. I love it.
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And because when we were first talking, you were also
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talking about being so comfortable in your body, and I
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remember having, you.
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Know that similar.
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I had grown up also in a household where my
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mother was really comfortable with her body, but not comfortable sexually.
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So and.
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And they're totally different things, right, So walking my mother
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walking around and opening the door half naked was never
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an issue. You know, I'd be totally doing this as
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she was there with her you know, little t shirt
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and undors, the elevator door opened and people and I
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was like, oh my god, I want to die now,
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right twelve years old of course, but sexually she wasn't comfortable,
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and so I was like you a very sexual being
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at a very young age without any languaging around it
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and no positive support around you know, coming out sexually.
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So like for me, this I was just I think
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rampant probably when I was young, not understanding what this
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body is and having so many exquisite experiences and then
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taking the time to become more conscious about it. And
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I want to bring in the piece around like the
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you know, stripping and so on, and the connotations that
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people in the labels that people just throw onto what
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it means to be a stripper, right, like and how
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it's offen slashed, so take the floor.
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Okay, So yes, I mean you might a lot of
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people out there listening might know that the stereotypes are right,
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you are you've got to be a single mother, which
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I was actually, but also you must be a drug
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addict if you're you know, being a stripper and promiscuous,
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that for sure, and desperate, right, I wasn't desperate. I
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wasn't really any of those things except for a single mother.
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And so I also met other professionals like me who
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were there for similar reasons. I used to work with
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a nurse that did some dancing at night. Right, there's
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so much stigma, so much shame. I even heard through
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the grape vine at one point that people that you know,
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I went to school with whever, like, oh you know,
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did you hear about that, Maria Marloney, you became a stripper, Like, oh, well,
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such a waste, you know, No, actually, you have no
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idea how much power I had as a dancer.
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Well, there's so much empowerment, and I think, you know,
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dare I say every woman should try stripping at least once,
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whether even if it's in her living room with her
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guy or for herself around friends, just as a liberation,
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or learned sensual dance just to get into the body
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a little bit more, to feel comfortable in her own sexuality.
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Who absolutely, And I know that that's a thing that typically,
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you know, if someone is a woman, they have a
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male partner, if they're heterosexual, the man. We really enjoy that,
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and some men will mention it. And I've heard many
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times from women like, oh my gosh, I can't even
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imagine myself doing that, you know. And so as I
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was getting ready to try my hand at dancing, I
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went to one of those like amateur nights.
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Right, So I just they just let me get up.
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On the stage. And friends that I was telling that
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I was about to do this were saying, well, have
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you practiced, And I said, no, practiced. If I practiced,
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I'll get nervous. But so I just went up and
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did it. And what I learned in that is that
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I already knew how to be sexy. I already knew
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how to move my body in a way that was natural,
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that would be sexy. And so I think that's a
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really key point for women that are listening out there
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is like, you know, the truth is like if I
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go out on the dance alort, I'm not even a
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good dancer. But you don't have to be a good
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dancer to like do a strip tease.
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Even just being in your's it's being in your body,
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being constable. It is your body first and foremost, because
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it's true, I've seen women and meant for that matter,
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but just you know, very very slowly not even really
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be doing much right, but you can just feel the
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whole embodiment of their energy as they move, and that's
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so powerful. And that's and that to me is that
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if you cannot do that, then the.
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Question becomes why.
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It's like what is going on for you that you
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know you're not able to really fully express yourself? Which
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you had this question in or this line in your
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in your book, and it says what is wrong with
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being sexual? And I love that because what is wrong
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with being sexual?
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You know, it's we've been told so many things about it, right,
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especially as women. So there's totally different rules for males
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or females. But if you're a female and you're sexual,
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then the stereotypes are well, then you're you're over sexed, right,
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people is to use that word promiscuous, right, Like, so
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if a woman has a lot of partners, it's called promiscuous,
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but if a man does, it's like cheered on and
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told like, oh, they have a lot of experience, isn't
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that great?
Right, So there's that that double standard. But yeah,
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so much shame, like and then you know, if we
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start to get into religion, basically we're gonna die and
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go to hell. That's what's wrong, you know, right, And that's.
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Such an extreme and I do feel like it lives
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in our bodies somewhere.
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I mean, I was never brought up religious.
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My father's Jewish, my mother was Protestant, and I didn't
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grow up with religion, although my grandmother took me to
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church a couple of times, and I remember the feeling
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of like, you know, those words, those wrathful words of
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you're going to hell and these are the these are
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the reasons you're as like.
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I'm terrified.
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I'm not sure around sex, but I did feel, I know,
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I felt like a lot of shame around the out
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of sexuality that I felt even as a young girl
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and then growing up and then even in my marriage.
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I remember I was like super sexual, super sensual, and
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feeling like, oh, I need to dumb this down, I
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need to mute this energy. This is not welcome even
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in relationship, and that I think hits a lot of people.
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It hits both men on their side really hard, and
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it hits women as well.
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Absolutely, yeah, I mean there is. And that's one of
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the things that I was dealing with when I say
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I was doing sacred work. At the strip club, men
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would shame themselves by, for example, saying like when they
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would sit down at the stage to come up to
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see a dancer, they call that pervert room. So you know, oh,
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he obviously must be a pervert if he's heterosexual and
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he's interested in seeing a woman with her clothes off,
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Like there couldn't be anything more normal.
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Actually, yeah, And you even bring up, you know, and
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you even bring up that it's it's an alternative to cheating, right,
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that it's you know that it's an outlet for and
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I know various men that you know are in long
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term relationships that have no desire to cheat on their
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on their partners and are very sexually repressed.
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Absolutely. I actually had a customer who was there at
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the strip club. He was in a very happy marriage.
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His wife was extremely ill. I don't think, he said,
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but I feel like she probably had cancer and she
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wasn't able to be sexual with him for a period
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of time. So he started coming into the strip club
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and so he was getting some of his erotic needs
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met through doing that. And we had you know, I mean,
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he was he was a lovely gentleman. We had a
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lot of fun. It was purely just fun. It wasn't
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like we were doing anything close to having sex. And like,
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that's a great alternative that he figured out for himself.
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Yeah, because I think we underestimate how powerful and how
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important sexual energy is in our life, and especially when
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we're going through things that are very difficult, you know,
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around death or just or death if I say death, illness, separation,
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whatever it is that's going on, and how deeply that
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impacts self worth, the need to be touched, the need
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to seen, like and just very physical needs and desires.
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Yeah, so this guy, you know, instead of burdening his
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wife was saying like, hey, I know you're you know,
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probably going through cancer treatments right now. Could you just
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you know, give me a hand job? You know, like
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that'd be so inappropriate, right, But so instead of burdening
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her with his needs, he got them taking care of
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in other ways. And yes, it was probably a good
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outlet for him so that he could deal with some
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of the emotions coming up around his wife's owns.
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Yeah, because we think it's one or the other, that
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it's exclusive. Oh, this person's going through an illness, I
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must be there for them ten thousand percent in a
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way that excludes my own needs and my own desires.
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And the truth is is that they're not mutually exclusive.
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They're happening all at the same time. It's a very
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you know, full, confusing, overwhelming.
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Experience I imagine for most people.
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And right, it's it's how do you deal with one
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and the other? And I think there's there's something really
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beautiful about being able to go and express or be
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feel witnessed and seen. And like you said, is it
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bad to go and look at Like, what's wrong with
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going and seeing a bunch of beautiful naked women?
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Right? Exactly, absolutely nothing. And you know a lot of
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the guys there that was an unusual situation. But the
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majority of the guys there were either single or they
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were partnered, but they weren't getting their needs met at home.
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We know that sadly, there are so many women that
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have issues with their own sexual expression, that lose interest
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in sex for various reasons, right for their because their
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own trauma, because the relationship's not going well. There could
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be many reasons. But there's so many guys out there
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who are so lonely and in need to get some
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of these needs met. Just to even sit and have
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a real conversation face to face with a woman where
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I am I was just like totally focusing on them
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for a period of time, let alone the lap dance
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like that was a gift. And again, yes, what is
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wrong with the fact that these guys did that to
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get some of their own It's meant because it's not
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their fault that their wife's not interested in having sex
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with them, but it's still the responsibility to take care
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of themselves.
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Agreed. And a couple of things come up for me,
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which is one because you do bring in transparency right
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like at what you know because you're you've been very
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transparent about your life to everyone in your life and
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which you know you hold yourself to the utmost integrity,
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which I love, and then you have people coming in
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who who can't. And so I want to talk a
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little bit about like the difference between transparency and privacy
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or discernment, because I think they're you know, and they're
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fine lines. Right, there's a difference between lying, right, there's lying,
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there's just like fighting, well, and do we want to
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say lying, let's just say hiding, and then there is
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transparency and discernment, that's right.
295
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Yeah, you mean for these customers that were coming in.
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Yeah, both for the customers and for you personally, Like
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how do you how do you define them for yourself?
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Because I know for me, the way I was brought up,
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I was not allowed to lie, right, I was not allowed,
300
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and so I was in I became an oversharer because
301
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I wasn't allowed to keep anything for myself. And yet
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I was still shamed for telling my truth. But I
303
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think my truth came out more out of obligation rather
304
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than from a sense of my own integrity when I
305
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was younger, and today I'm actually working on discernment, which means.
306
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Transparency, like to be open and honest.
307
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Yet you know, I don't owe everybody everything, right as
308
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long as I Yeah.
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I tend to think about it in terms of, you know,
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if I'm thinking of being transparent with somebody about something
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you know, personal to me, what is my reason for
312
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wanting to do that, and you know what might come
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of it? So, for example, I didn't tell the whole
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world that I was an exotic dancer. Thought wouldn't have
315
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been necessarily a wise thing to do, but in some
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cases it also wouldn't be a kind thing to do.
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For example, I didn't tell my elderly Italian father thought
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I was a stripper, right because that had no bearing
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on our relationship at all, And I imagined that he
320
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probably would have felt, you know, sad or worried about
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me or disappointed or so, you know, those kind of
feelings,
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and like what would be the point of that? Right?
323
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So I think this this kind of stuff is extremely situational.
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Yeah, and you but you did tell your husband, your
325
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ex husband, sorry, your ext I did you did? You
326
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came clean after around an affair, You came clean around
327
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what you're doing, which and just which took a lot
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of courage, you know, to be able to say, yeah,
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I can hold space now for your feelings and your age.
330
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You say it beautifully, just simply like, oh God, I
331
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can hold this. It's not pleasant that I can hold Yeah.
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I mean the thing that I had been scared of,
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you know, basically since I met my ex husband, is
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that you'd be really really mad at me. And he
335
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was really really mad at me. And I think that
336
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was empowering for me because I realized, like I didn't
337
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actually disintegrate, nothing terrible happened when he was really really mad.
338
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Yeah, that he could have his his emotion, he can
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have his experience, and the fear, as say, challenging or
340
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difficult as it is to hear it from someone else
341
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or to be in that same space, is also more
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than survivable. But by that time, let me see, you
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probably did enough inner work to be able to hold
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that inside yourself because you didn't make it about all
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about you, like it didn't become about yourself worth, your
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self esteem.
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That's right, that's right. Yeah. I mean I've had to
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do a lot of work to get where I am now.
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You know, some people look at me and they say, wow,
350
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you have such a great life, and I say, thank you,
351
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I know I do. And do you have any idea
352
00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:17.559
how many hours of therapy I've done it to get
353
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where I am now like just even to be as
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normal as I am, which you know none of us
355
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is completely normal, but you have no idea. And the
356
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same thing for my current husband, he went through so
357
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much therapy and we're so both so grateful that we
358
00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:35.720
did all that because now we can be in this
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healthy relationship.
360
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Yeah, imagine that calling in? Did you call in your
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husband your current for sure?
362
00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:49.640
Yes? Yes, I went to When I went to life
363
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coaching school, it was with Gay and Kathlyn Hendrix out
364
00:20:52.599 --> 00:20:56.000
in California, and they, you know, they're known, especially Gay
365
00:20:56.119 --> 00:20:59.960
for you know, helping with manifestation. So I took this
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is like you know, two or three D course of
367
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how to call in your partner. And so I wrote
368
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on a piece of paper that I stuck upon the
369
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refrigerator exactly what I was looking for, which is somebody
370
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that meets me physically right, sexually, emotionally and spiritually. And
371
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that's what I got.
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Yeah, and I think, you know again coming back to
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the to the sexual energy piece and clearing out a
374
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lot of things that most people don't get because not
375
00:21:34.359 --> 00:21:40.599
everybody gets to the sacred sexuality piece or the TNTRA piece.
376
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I think contra takes it to a level that many
377
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people don't necessarily go down that path. But having recognition,
378
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the recognition that sex is divine, that there is a
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sacredness to it, whether you are stripping, whether you're you're
380
00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:57.960
whether you're the you are the stripper or the person
381
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watching the stripping, or the showing up. I'm say with
382
00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:06.039
laingerie under their coach right as a man, however, somebody
383
00:22:06.119 --> 00:22:10.839
shows up that it's sacred because it's being expressed, and
384
00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:15.160
yet we do so much taboo around it, so much
385
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:18.640
shaming still, And I just love your openness, right because
386
00:22:18.680 --> 00:22:21.920
you're so open around like, anything goes as long as
387
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:25.240
it's you know, it's not harming anyone, and that's it.
388
00:22:25.559 --> 00:22:30.920
You're in p Yeah, anything consensual between two adults is
389
00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:34.160
okay by me. I had a client last week who
390
00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:37.720
has a foot fetish, and he was like, you know,
391
00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:40.680
thank you for not shaming me about it because I
392
00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:44.880
had a partner and she was like, oh, that's
disgusting,
393
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.519
you know, And and he had shame about it, and
394
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:50.240
he was like, yeah, like I like, guys, you have
395
00:22:50.279 --> 00:22:52.799
foot fetishes. I think it's awesome, you know what I mean, Like,
396
00:22:53.039 --> 00:22:55.839
there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. You know, and I
397
00:22:55.880 --> 00:22:59.519
think that that was healing for him because he had
398
00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:02.680
had I mean, that's just it's not so uncommon that
399
00:23:02.839 --> 00:23:05.680
guys have foot fetishes, and you know, and he had
400
00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:08.200
a little wound there and so you know, these are
401
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:11.160
the kinds of this is the kind of healing that
402
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:14.119
people can get when they go to a professional like
403
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:17.400
you or me or you know. There's so there's more
404
00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:20.160
of us out there now because it is becoming a
405
00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:24.759
bigger topic, which is so wonderful. Yeah, it's so needed.
406
00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:27.480
And it's you know, we say we never yuck somebody's
407
00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:29.160
yum exactly.
408
00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:30.039
Yeah, it's right.
409
00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:34.119
Which I love that statement. And I'm like, because it's
410
00:23:34.119 --> 00:23:37.200
funny because I'm the opposite of the foot fetish unfortunately,
411
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:39.400
like I've met and it comes from a real place,
412
00:23:39.480 --> 00:23:42.599
like my feet used to just be you know, I
413
00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:45.599
danced and they were horrible creatures, my feet, right, So
414
00:23:45.720 --> 00:23:48.920
my shame was around, please don't look at my feet,
415
00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:50.519
Please don't touch my feet.
416
00:23:50.559 --> 00:23:51.799
They feel horrendous, like.
417
00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:55.960
They're just so so it's understanding I think when couples
418
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:58.559
come in or not just couples, when we're looking at
419
00:23:58.599 --> 00:24:05.640
another human, actually to always approach someone with like real consideration,
420
00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:08.160
even even if this is not your life partner, just
421
00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:13.680
real consideration around their bodies and what they might be carrying.
422
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:18.000
Absolutely yes. And you know a lot of people will
423
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:21.480
say like, oh, women have so many hang ups about
424
00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:24.559
their bodies, and it's true. And I happen to also, no,
425
00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:28.480
because I've worked with plenty of men that men do too, right,
426
00:24:28.599 --> 00:24:33.119
it's not just the women who have this body shame.
427
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:38.160
Yeah, And we're right now, we're in the you know,
428
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:42.559
brush everything
off and you know, blur everything, and everything
429
00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:44.839
has to be perfect. And you say, like you made
430
00:24:44.839 --> 00:24:49.519
a conscious choice not to not to go into hyper
431
00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:51.920
correction of everything that you showed up on the stage
432
00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:55.720
as a natural body and looked around the room and said, oh,
433
00:24:55.799 --> 00:24:59.279
you know, there's no such thing as ugly. Nobody has
434
00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:04.880
like a completely ugly body, right, nobody has a perfectly
435
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:05.960
beautiful body.
436
00:25:06.359 --> 00:25:11.400
That it's the combination. Absolutely yes. I think it's a
437
00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:14.440
lot to do with like the light that shines from
438
00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:16.920
within each one of us and how much we allow
439
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:20.400
that to show. I can tell you that I've seen
440
00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:26.000
hundreds of women naked. I danced for eight years. I
441
00:25:26.039 --> 00:25:28.759
didn't just stop after life coaching school, I used it
442
00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:32.319
as a way to then open my private practice and
443
00:25:32.440 --> 00:25:35.759
stop working for agencies. So you know, I did this
444
00:25:35.839 --> 00:25:39.200
for years. I say, so many bodies. There is definitely
445
00:25:39.240 --> 00:25:43.039
no such thing as a perfect body. And you know
446
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:47.599
there's nineteen year old women with sagging, small breasts. There's
447
00:25:47.720 --> 00:25:52.799
just everything you can possibly imagine. And yet you know
448
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:56.200
I don't have perfect body either. But I'll tell you what.
449
00:25:56.480 --> 00:26:00.160
I got so many compliments on so many different parts
450
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:02.279
of my bodies, including things that I never would have
451
00:26:02.359 --> 00:26:06.920
even thought about, like my ear lobes, that I say,
452
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:11.039
you know, it just really we're all good, We're all okay.
453
00:26:11.160 --> 00:26:14.160
We don't have to have some kind of classically beauty,
454
00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:18.359
classically beautiful body in order to be attractive to others.
455
00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:20.799
And all we really have to do is what I
456
00:26:20.839 --> 00:26:23.359
did at the club. And I think a lot of
457
00:26:23.400 --> 00:26:26.119
the dancers didn't like me because I came in, I
458
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:29.160
was older, and I almost always made more money than everybody.
459
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:32.119
But my secret was I just was being myself.
460
00:26:33.079 --> 00:26:36.599
Yeah, you just showed up authentically as opposed to eating
461
00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:39.839
to cover it up with. And I'm not going to
462
00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:42.440
say like fake breasts are bad, like it's whatever anybody
463
00:26:42.599 --> 00:26:46.440
uses it's not
the point. It's that it's when we
464
00:26:46.519 --> 00:26:49.480
get into a space that we are constantly fixing ourselves
465
00:26:49.559 --> 00:26:52.160
on the outside as some kind of band aid for
466
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:55.200
the inside. And I'm not opposed to any kind of like,
467
00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:58.599
you know, nip and tuck, whatever you like. That's fine
468
00:26:58.640 --> 00:27:03.480
as long as it's coming from place of loving yourself
469
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:06.960
and knowing who you are fundamentally and not thinking that,
470
00:27:07.079 --> 00:27:09.960
oh if I get that tummy talk now, I'm going
471
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:10.599
to be loved.
472
00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:11.960
When I get that.
473
00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:14.359
You know, chin done now, I'm going to be beautiful
474
00:27:14.359 --> 00:27:17.680
and accepted as a you know, coming in as full body.
475
00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:20.240
And I just I love that you kept everything like
476
00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:22.920
you're like, yes, I just honor the natural of me, of.
477
00:27:22.920 --> 00:27:28.680
Who I am. Yeah. Yeah, And people love authenticity, like
478
00:27:28.759 --> 00:27:33.200
we never really have to do anything different than just
479
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:36.799
be who we are, right Like I'm here, okay, Yeah,
480
00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:40.119
I have some makeup on because you know, I'm on cameras.
481
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:44.079
It's gonna look better. But I know that I'm beautiful
482
00:27:44.119 --> 00:27:47.039
whether I have makeup on or not. And I've seen women,
483
00:27:47.160 --> 00:27:49.400
I know, I know some women that honestly I think
484
00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:52.599
look much more beautiful without their makeup. I agree.
485
00:27:52.759 --> 00:27:56.039
Sometimes you're like, oh, I like you better without.
486
00:27:56.240 --> 00:28:00.720
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like all we really how to do
487
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:03.519
is be ourselves, and they think that we can't very
488
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:07.759
often see ourselves through the eyes of others, because of
489
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:10.319
course we're who we are, right, so we're looking at
490
00:28:10.359 --> 00:28:15.839
ourselves many times. So critically, they think that if most people,
491
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:20.359
men and women could really see themselves more objectively, it
492
00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:24.440
would probably be able to see how attractive they really are.
493
00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:27.640
And I think it's important to bring in the men because,
494
00:28:27.880 --> 00:28:32.279
as you said, we take for granted, you know, messaging
495
00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:35.519
around women's bodies has been so out there and it
496
00:28:35.839 --> 00:28:39.119
continues to be. Right now we're dealing with avatars.
497
00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:40.599
And I hate all that.
498
00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:42.960
You know, it was one thing and when things were
499
00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:46.039
airbrushed and you know, lenses, I just remember when cameras
500
00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:46.599
still wise.
501
00:28:46.599 --> 00:28:48.200
I don't know if I remember when, but.
502
00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:51.680
Cameras definitely didn't show all of your pores, and cameras
503
00:28:51.799 --> 00:28:52.880
definitely weren't.
504
00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:55.559
Like zooming in on everything.
505
00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:58.240
There were. I mean, I think there was even a
506
00:28:58.319 --> 00:29:00.640
time when they put vaciline on the lens, you know,
507
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:05.200
for the Hollywood Yeah right, that very dreamy look to wow,
508
00:29:05.960 --> 00:29:10.400
you know, and we've gotten into hyperrealism, and it's really
509
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:14.240
damaging to women and and men. And I want to
510
00:29:14.279 --> 00:29:16.319
talk a little bit about men because I think men
511
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:20.400
often also get the short end of like, oh, men
512
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:23.240
want women to be this, but we forget that men
513
00:29:23.480 --> 00:29:27.200
also have insecurities they do that.
514
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:31.799
We don't talk about. Yeah, they have insecurities about their bodies,
515
00:29:31.960 --> 00:29:37.720
about their weight, sometimes about their stretch marks. Also, this
516
00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:40.640
is not uncommon. I've had a number of men and
517
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:43.400
you might have encountered this too, who tell me that
518
00:29:43.480 --> 00:29:47.440
they have so much insecurity about the size of their penis.
519
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:53.799
And some of these men do not have small penises
520
00:29:53.880 --> 00:29:56.960
compared to like, you know, the average sized penis, which
521
00:29:57.000 --> 00:29:59.519
is five point five inches. Some of these men have
522
00:30:00.119 --> 00:30:04.319
direct penises that are bigger than that. But because they're
523
00:30:04.359 --> 00:30:07.160
so used to watching porn, they think that they have
524
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:13.880
a small penis. Yeah, because it's so distorted in what
525
00:30:14.119 --> 00:30:15.119
perfection is.
526
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:18.920
And so I'm going to call him now a friend
527
00:30:18.960 --> 00:30:20.880
of mine, but he wasn't what I met him, because
528
00:30:20.880 --> 00:30:22.920
he's the one who did the Great Wall of Volva
529
00:30:23.559 --> 00:30:26.319
uh and and so, and he's done the Great Spice
530
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:28.559
of Life and so on, the Great Spice of Life.
531
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:32.039
He had all you know, he had both women, women's breasts,
532
00:30:32.079 --> 00:30:37.119
women's vlvas and penises and just the variety, and I
533
00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:40.039
think there's it's so it was so eye opening for
534
00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:43.640
me to see the library because I thought, you know,
535
00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:46.640
and I come back to this, I've said it before,
536
00:30:46.680 --> 00:30:49.319
where I just thought there was something like so abnormal
537
00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:51.599
about the way I was shaped or the way I
538
00:30:51.640 --> 00:30:55.039
am and just trying to correct and trying to be like,
539
00:30:55.119 --> 00:30:58.640
oh my god, what is the perfect baba looking like
540
00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:03.680
CORIONI that it's got this perfect Barbie kind of thing,
541
00:31:04.119 --> 00:31:06.680
those dimensions that actually make you fall to the floor.
542
00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:11.039
Nobody's actually built that way and can and not have
543
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:15.880
back pain severely. Yeah, But also for ment to realize
544
00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:20.359
like the variance of sizes, of shapes, of color of
545
00:31:20.440 --> 00:31:24.720
like I mean everything mm hmm, and that it's all magical.
546
00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:29.079
Right, exactly, it's all normal, it's all magical, it's all okay,
547
00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:32.920
it's all lovable. Yeah, And that is so not the
548
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:36.440
message that we've been given about our own bodies and
549
00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:39.240
our own genitals. So yeah, I'm glad you said the
550
00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:41.799
word yoni. A lot of people, you know, in the
551
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:46.000
general public don't know what that means. So yes, it does.
552
00:31:46.359 --> 00:31:48.720
You know you were using the word volva. That's also
553
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:53.079
really good because there's been this misconsumption that a volva,
554
00:31:53.160 --> 00:31:57.079
which is the exterior part of a female genitals, is
555
00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:01.480
of avagina. Well, no, that's not a vagina. That's evolva, right,
556
00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:04.640
it's the outer lips, the inner lips, the clitteras the
557
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:11.119
clitteral hood, that's evolva. Then the inner part of a
558
00:32:11.160 --> 00:32:15.839
woman's sex organs is the vagina, and then there's the womb.
559
00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:19.599
In all three of those together is what is a yoni.
560
00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:23.200
And yoni means sacred space in Sanskrit, so that's a
561
00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:27.160
ton tric term. People don't know it. And I love
562
00:32:27.319 --> 00:32:29.240
using the word because I think it gets rid of
563
00:32:29.319 --> 00:32:33.079
all the shame about those other words, right that they're
564
00:32:33.119 --> 00:32:36.720
so stigmatizing, and people are so embarrassed and to say them,
565
00:32:36.759 --> 00:32:37.720
and they're so weighted.
566
00:32:38.559 --> 00:32:41.079
But I love it there way, And I know so many,
567
00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:45.119
you know, having done Laila Martin's and like just seeing
568
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:48.279
you know, the word pussy used with with such excuberance,
569
00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:50.319
which I still love, like and
sometimes I use it
570
00:32:50.359 --> 00:32:54.200
sometimes like oh yeah, pussy sounds delicious, and then other times,
571
00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:54.599
like for.
572
00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:56.559
Me, I do like I do like Yoni.
573
00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:59.640
It feels like it's a really all encompassing it feels sacred,
574
00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:03.799
feel beautiful. I don't know if I use lingam as much.
575
00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:06.079
You know, I'm still I still play with like, oh,
576
00:33:06.119 --> 00:33:09.200
what words feel good? But I like to just ask
577
00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:13.279
someone else. But from there, I want to talk about
578
00:33:13.359 --> 00:33:20.680
Yoni massage. And because the power of Yoni massage, yes, let's.
579
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:24.240
Talk about it. So so for decades I've been teaching workshops,
580
00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:29.039
teaching couples. Usually sometimes I would get a throuble who'd
581
00:33:29.079 --> 00:33:32.480
come to, like three people in a relationship together and
582
00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:36.359
teaching either Yoni massage, which is you know, done on
583
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:39.480
someone with a female body, or linga massage, which is
584
00:33:39.480 --> 00:33:41.839
done on some with a male body. Right, Linga means
585
00:33:42.519 --> 00:33:45.839
ones of light in Sanskrit. To me, that's so much
586
00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:49.279
more beautiful than cock or you know, all these other words.
587
00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:54.839
But I use them all and people think that they're
588
00:33:54.880 --> 00:33:57.400
gonna come and they're going to learn this hot new
589
00:33:57.559 --> 00:34:00.759
technique that's going to really spice up their sex life.
590
00:34:01.039 --> 00:34:03.599
And I don't tell them ahead of time that you know,
591
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:10.000
it's really a healing modality, it's really a spiritual practice.
592
00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:13.639
Because they're going to sign up thinking it's this wonderful thing,
593
00:34:13.639 --> 00:34:16.400
and it does lead to a lot more intimacy, and
594
00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:19.519
it certainly can lead to a lot better sex. But
595
00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:23.719
what it really is is it's a massaging of the
596
00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:31.079
exterior and interior genitals. People have stuck energy in their bodies.
597
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:35.360
Everybody has it, right. It could be from it could
598
00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:37.599
be from a rape, it could be from a car accident,
599
00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:40.400
it could be from a bad divorce. Like everybody's got
600
00:34:40.400 --> 00:34:42.280
some of these things that have happened to them in
601
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:45.000
their life. And the biggest place in the body for
602
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:48.519
a woman where she stores that energy is actually in
603
00:34:48.559 --> 00:34:54.119
her womb. But if the G spot is massaged, yes
604
00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:56.440
there really is such a thing as a G spot,
605
00:34:56.679 --> 00:35:00.800
then that releases the energy, that stuck energy. And so
606
00:35:01.400 --> 00:35:08.239
when women have pain during penetrative sex, when women actually
607
00:35:08.280 --> 00:35:10.480
get to the point where they can't even have anything
608
00:35:10.599 --> 00:35:15.159
inserted inside of them, when women have numbness, when women
609
00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:20.880
just don't feel much inside of their yonies, it's all
610
00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:25.880
related to that stuck energy. And so the more that
611
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:30.039
that spot is massage, the more that stuck energy gets released,
612
00:35:30.920 --> 00:35:35.679
and the more pleasure is then available. So I've been
613
00:35:35.719 --> 00:35:39.480
teaching these workshops. Like I said, then I met this
614
00:35:39.559 --> 00:35:41.960
guy who signed up for a connection call with me,
615
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.159
decided not to work with me. I was potentially going
616
00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:48.920
to teach him how to do ling a massage for himself. Well,
617
00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:51.360
he did it on his own, and then he started
618
00:35:51.400 --> 00:35:54.360
writing me these emails as if we knew each other.
619
00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:56.840
And I was really confused because it's already been two
620
00:35:56.960 --> 00:35:58.800
or three years. And I was like, I'm really sorry
621
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:01.639
to have to say this, but who are you? How
622
00:36:01.679 --> 00:36:03.360
do we know each other? And he said, yeah, I
623
00:36:03.400 --> 00:36:05.880
did this connection call with you. Then I started doing
624
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:09.119
my ownly a massage and I'm having the most amazing experiences.
625
00:36:09.159 --> 00:36:13.440
I'm just having one full body orgasm after another. And
626
00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:15.519
this is what has happened as a result of me
627
00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:19.599
continuing to give myself ling a massage every day for
628
00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:21.760
a period of two to three years. So then I
629
00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:23.440
was like, oh my gosh, we got to tell the
630
00:36:23.480 --> 00:36:29.840
world about this. This is incredible, right, And that started
631
00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:33.639
to tell the world about it. Then I started saying, ladies,
632
00:36:33.719 --> 00:36:36.800
you know, while I'm blogging, you gotta try this thing
633
00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:39.920
this self. You only massage do it, And then I
634
00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:43.159
thought to myself, I'm not doing it, so I should
635
00:36:43.199 --> 00:36:45.519
probably be doing it if I'm telling other women to
636
00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:50.000
do it. So unbeknownst to me, what I found out
637
00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:54.880
through the experience is that when women have unbalanced hormones
638
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.239
because of perimenopause, menopause or
being postmenopausal like I am
639
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:04.039
because I'm sick now, it balances your hormones to give
640
00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:08.199
yourself a yoni massage. And so I started to like,
641
00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:11.599
I was having problems with not being wet enough, wetter
642
00:37:11.679 --> 00:37:13.880
than ever before in my life. Now I've been doing
643
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:16.320
this practice every day for a year and a half,
644
00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:21.320
started being less interested in sex because frankly, it wasn't
645
00:37:21.360 --> 00:37:23.840
because my partner, but the sex wasn't as good because
646
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:27.000
my orgasms were kind of like a little blip instead of,
647
00:37:27.719 --> 00:37:29.480
you know, instead of being the way they used to be.
648
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:34.599
And so all of these problems like got fixed by
649
00:37:34.639 --> 00:37:38.760
doing the selfioning massage. And I think it's like, you know,
650
00:37:39.639 --> 00:37:42.679
why do we not all know about this, right? Like,
651
00:37:42.760 --> 00:37:45.880
and I know the answer, but really, shouldn't we all
652
00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:49.360
know these things about our own bodies, Like, yeah, you
653
00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:53.320
will have drops in certain hormones, but guess what, there's
654
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:56.039
a thing you can do that you can learn. And
655
00:37:56.079 --> 00:37:59.400
then you can do it yourself every day or as
656
00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:02.480
often as you and it's free to practice.
657
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:06.920
It because it's free, it doesn't involve medication at your
658
00:38:06.960 --> 00:38:07.639
own pace.
659
00:38:07.960 --> 00:38:10.400
It's and it's such a discovery.
660
00:38:10.440 --> 00:38:14.280
I think most women or many women don't don't even
661
00:38:14.360 --> 00:38:17.280
know their bodies, like don't even know what they're capable of.
662
00:38:18.599 --> 00:38:24.000
And like moving through numbness isn't force or pain or
663
00:38:24.039 --> 00:38:27.320
trying what you know and just and going and really
664
00:38:27.400 --> 00:38:30.079
exploring the different parts and being able to be with
665
00:38:30.400 --> 00:38:32.559
all of the sensations. And like you said, it's not
666
00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:35.159
you think you're going into like session one and you're like,
667
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:38.840
I want to experience this, give me the magic pill, right,
668
00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:42.360
exactly right, And I'm always like, you know what, it's
669
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:43.039
a journey.
670
00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:43.599
It's not.
671
00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:47.199
It's not like, yes, maybe tomorrow it's going to be explosive,
672
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:49.519
it's gonna be amazing. You're gonna have multiple organisms and
673
00:38:49.559 --> 00:38:51.280
then you're gonna have like a day where it's not
674
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:54.920
because when our bodies cycle, and it is a learning
675
00:38:54.960 --> 00:38:58.639
process of going, Oh, this area has been stuck for
676
00:38:58.679 --> 00:39:02.360
so long, be it the the car accident, the sexual
677
00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:05.360
assault or or whatever, or deep grief or whatever has
678
00:39:05.400 --> 00:39:08.280
been stored in different parts of our womb.
679
00:39:09.639 --> 00:39:10.039
And I do.
680
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:13.119
And you reminded me. I said to you, I said,
681
00:39:13.519 --> 00:39:16.360
you know, I'm I God. You've just inspired me to
682
00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:19.519
do like the thirty day challenge or the succeed to
683
00:39:19.599 --> 00:39:21.679
do the challenge, to do it every day for like
684
00:39:21.800 --> 00:39:25.360
a solid practice of let's say, you know, let's say
685
00:39:25.440 --> 00:39:27.880
ninety days, I'll hold myself accountable to that. I like
686
00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:32.079
it so that it's because I too. I mean, this
687
00:39:32.119 --> 00:39:34.159
is what I do for work. And do you think
688
00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:37.719
I'm doing that every day? No, I'm helping others while
689
00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:41.639
not like you know, being able to. It's the giving
690
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:43.760
without being able to really come back and.
691
00:39:44.280 --> 00:39:46.239
The importance of that.
692
00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:50.119
And for men who never think to do this, because again,
693
00:39:50.199 --> 00:39:53.960
men are just taught like you thrust one out, that's right,
694
00:39:54.679 --> 00:39:55.559
it's trust one out.
695
00:39:55.599 --> 00:39:56.079
It's good.
696
00:39:56.440 --> 00:39:58.960
Once you come, it's gone, and you know, and it's true.
697
00:39:59.159 --> 00:40:03.239
They expend so much energy that after the words are
698
00:40:03.280 --> 00:40:08.039
like I'm done, and then the disparaging part around women
699
00:40:08.119 --> 00:40:10.199
where they're like, well I haven't even I haven't even
700
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:14.360
got started, right, And I find that that in between.
701
00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:17.400
But also for men understanding that you don't have to
702
00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:19.920
give all of your energy away that you can bring
703
00:40:20.039 --> 00:40:24.199
in this beautiful practice and it it gives you those
704
00:40:24.320 --> 00:40:28.400
full bodied orgasms, allows you to come literally to orgasm
705
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:30.960
over and over. And that orgasm is not the same
706
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:38.079
as ejaculation. Same thing for women, right, the orgasm versus peaking.
707
00:40:38.199 --> 00:40:42.239
You know understanding that, yes, having a contraction is not
708
00:40:42.400 --> 00:40:48.840
the same as having deep deep waves or ripples or energetics. However,
709
00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:52.559
orgasms happen for you are not the same.
710
00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:57.599
Yeah, I think you're really right in
saying that a
711
00:40:57.639 --> 00:41:00.960
lot most people have no idea what their bodies are
712
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:05.800
capable of. I mean, I've been having good sex for
713
00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:09.960
many years with different partners. Right I'm having the best
714
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:12.320
sex I've ever had, and my body is doing things
715
00:41:12.320 --> 00:41:15.440
that I didn't even know it could do. And what
716
00:41:15.480 --> 00:41:18.960
I elseo know about that is there's no end, right, Like,
717
00:41:19.079 --> 00:41:22.679
it can just actually keep getting better and better and better.
718
00:41:23.880 --> 00:41:27.079
And it's a myth that women have to kind of
719
00:41:27.119 --> 00:41:29.960
like give up their sexuality at a certain age or
720
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:30.719
it's never going.
721
00:41:30.639 --> 00:41:32.000
To be as good as it used to be.
722
00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:34.360
Because why I know this now from my own experience,
723
00:41:34.840 --> 00:41:37.039
not only can it be as good, it can be better.
724
00:41:37.599 --> 00:41:41.960
And this can be the best sexual time of our lives.
725
00:41:41.960 --> 00:41:45.880
Once we get you know, forty and up, it can
726
00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:47.679
become the best time.
727
00:41:47.639 --> 00:41:50.000
Which I love because you're sixty and to me, you know,
728
00:41:50.280 --> 00:41:52.960
I was brought up again. Right you go to shrivel
729
00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:55.159
up and die at forty, it's kind of what I was,
730
00:41:55.599 --> 00:41:58.840
you know, like when you're forty, you're done. If nothing
731
00:41:58.880 --> 00:42:00.760
great has happened in your life up until.
732
00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:01.480
Then, forget it.
733
00:42:01.480 --> 00:42:03.440
It's like, you know, you'd be lucky if you can
734
00:42:03.519 --> 00:42:05.639
hang on to your men, or like hang on to
735
00:42:05.719 --> 00:42:06.840
your partner.
736
00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:09.880
Because your libido goes to die. And I think it's
737
00:42:09.920 --> 00:42:10.480
so sad.
738
00:42:11.480 --> 00:42:13.000
I'm not going to name who, but I've got a
739
00:42:13.079 --> 00:42:16.760
very special someone in my life who's you know, sixty
740
00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:21.320
five now, I think, And it's experiencing the best sex
741
00:42:21.559 --> 00:42:25.199
of her life with her partner. And so, you know,
742
00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:31.320
I really encourage women, couples in fact, to re visit
743
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:36.800
that old decrepit belief system that has no use and
744
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:39.280
for men as well, right that all of a sudden,
745
00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:42.679
because men's hormones change too. We think it's just women
746
00:42:42.920 --> 00:42:46.440
whose bodies changed, but men's bodies changed too, where erections
747
00:42:46.440 --> 00:42:50.440
don't become the Norman just being able to sustain at
748
00:42:50.440 --> 00:42:53.039
a level that they did when they're twenty right, bounce right.
749
00:42:52.920 --> 00:42:55.400
Back, Yeah, that's right, like they used to be able
750
00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:59.360
to do. Actually, here's the other great news. Not only
751
00:42:59.440 --> 00:43:03.599
does it well with sexual sacred spot massage helps women
752
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:07.199
with their sexual dysfunction and so many other things, it
753
00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:10.679
also helps men with theirs. So you probably knew this,
754
00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:14.079
but ling a massage which really for a man than
755
00:43:14.199 --> 00:43:16.400
the spot where the stuck energy is held as in
756
00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:19.599
the prostate, right, So it involves an internal part of
757
00:43:19.639 --> 00:43:26.159
the massage, and that actually massaging the prostate corrects a
758
00:43:26.199 --> 00:43:28.480
lot of the erectil problems that men have.
759
00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:33.119
So now you are doing this right now, Like, I
760
00:43:33.159 --> 00:43:35.840
don't know how I feel about that's all right, I.
761
00:43:35.800 --> 00:43:39.719
Know I know men and it's the same as with women.
762
00:43:39.880 --> 00:43:43.519
Like some men don't experience much pleasure when they first
763
00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:47.639
start having prostate massage, but over time they certainly can.
764
00:43:47.719 --> 00:43:51.840
And I know men that can have orgasms from prostate massage,
765
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:55.119
but usually it's men who've had a lot of prostate massage.
766
00:43:55.159 --> 00:43:57.920
So all that stuck energy is gone and there's nothing
767
00:43:58.039 --> 00:44:01.480
left but pleasure. Yeah, they're able to release it.
768
00:44:02.239 --> 00:44:06.280
Yeah, So what do you think in your journey that
769
00:44:06.400 --> 00:44:10.119
you have learned the most, Like, what are some of
770
00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:12.679
the really key parts for you?
771
00:44:15.760 --> 00:44:22.760
I would say it's you know this phrase came to me.
772
00:44:22.840 --> 00:44:26.559
I'm sure it was divinely guided. You know that God
773
00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:30.960
or Goddess is pro sex. That's one really big book, right,
774
00:44:31.559 --> 00:44:36.039
Like Goddess does not think sex is bad or evil.
775
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:41.400
She thinks it's wonderful. And in fact, I have this
776
00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:44.000
friend who does some channeling, and years ago we all
777
00:44:44.039 --> 00:44:46.280
used to get together. We'd have this meditation group in
778
00:44:46.320 --> 00:44:48.960
my office and Sunday mornings, and afterwards she would channel
779
00:44:49.000 --> 00:44:52.920
and very often we'd start talking about sex because that's
780
00:44:53.079 --> 00:44:57.159
my thing. And through the channeling, the message was your
781
00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:02.880
sexuality is your spiritual They're one and the same, right,
782
00:45:02.920 --> 00:45:06.519
which is such
the opposite message. So that's one really
783
00:45:06.639 --> 00:45:11.199
huge one. Also, we're all so much more awesome and
784
00:45:11.239 --> 00:45:16.880
amazing than we think we are. And yeah, sex is
785
00:45:16.920 --> 00:45:20.280
not over at forty fifty, sixty, seventy or eighty or
786
00:45:20.360 --> 00:45:24.199
even ninety, like it doesn't have to be. And I
787
00:45:24.280 --> 00:45:29.320
think that another big one is if you decide, if
788
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:32.599
you make the decision to say, well, you know, I'm
789
00:45:32.639 --> 00:45:35.119
not really having sex, I'm not having good sex. But
790
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:37.880
I'm just gonna forget about that, Like you're cutting out
791
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:41.519
a huge part of the joy that's available to a
792
00:45:41.599 --> 00:45:44.920
human being in their life as a human living on
793
00:45:44.960 --> 00:45:48.199
this planet. Like that's one of the best things there is.
794
00:45:48.280 --> 00:45:50.800
And if you start thinking, I'll just let it go,
795
00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:54.000
there's something off about your thinking.
796
00:45:54.920 --> 00:45:57.159
I agree, And I know we can't get into it
797
00:45:57.239 --> 00:46:01.480
too much today because as we urin in But you know,
798
00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:03.840
one thing that strikes me in today's world is that
799
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:09.039
we're approaching a time where asexuality is a very popular notion.
800
00:46:09.199 --> 00:46:11.360
And I've heard way too many people say, you know,
801
00:46:12.159 --> 00:46:14.320
sex isn't important. Even when I was growing up. Oh
802
00:46:14.440 --> 00:46:16.639
you know, I always knew. I always entered these relationships
803
00:46:16.679 --> 00:46:18.960
when I was young that it was like sex isn't important,
804
00:46:19.559 --> 00:46:21.320
and it was so important to me.
805
00:46:21.360 --> 00:46:22.960
And I was like, I guess not, But am I
806
00:46:23.039 --> 00:46:25.639
missing That's funny?
807
00:46:25.960 --> 00:46:28.280
Today I'm like, I'm like, no, we can be friends, right,
808
00:46:28.360 --> 00:46:30.480
Like if sex is not important too, we can be friends.
809
00:46:30.519 --> 00:46:34.800
We'd be great friends. But that's right, because it is
810
00:46:34.840 --> 00:46:37.000
so much life for us. But as we enter as
811
00:46:37.039 --> 00:46:39.639
we are in this age right now, I think it's
812
00:46:39.719 --> 00:46:42.199
so sad that and I don't know what's going on
813
00:46:42.239 --> 00:46:45.599
this this like there's a trend of a sexuality and
814
00:46:45.639 --> 00:46:47.760
I don't I truly don't know if it's you know,
815
00:46:47.960 --> 00:46:51.559
something in the water food, or or that we've so
816
00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:57.239
sexually shamed our children or you know that I mean
817
00:46:57.360 --> 00:47:01.440
just at such a core, deep level that our children
818
00:47:01.480 --> 00:47:03.880
are growing up, or that there's so much fear in
819
00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:06.480
the world, the way the state of the world that
820
00:47:06.679 --> 00:47:13.239
is literally cutting a new generation off from its life force,
821
00:47:13.639 --> 00:47:17.239
which I'm like, we're breeding ourselves right out of existence,
822
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:19.719
or like I'm breeding ourselves right out of existence.
823
00:47:20.679 --> 00:47:23.400
Yeah, now I've heard that too, that I've heard this
824
00:47:23.559 --> 00:47:26.559
many times. I'm guessing it is really true. Yeah, there's
825
00:47:26.559 --> 00:47:30.280
a trend for that young people are having less sex
826
00:47:31.440 --> 00:47:31.920
right than the.
827
00:47:32.400 --> 00:47:36.320
Ray right, Yeah, we have another woodstock.
828
00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:40.599
Like all we wanted to do was have sex as
829
00:47:40.639 --> 00:47:41.559
much as possible.
830
00:47:42.039 --> 00:47:45.519
Yes, and now it's like it's almost like, ugh, are
831
00:47:45.519 --> 00:47:48.079
you having sex again? To the parents. I don't know,
832
00:47:48.519 --> 00:47:51.079
That's what I'm imagining, all right. I want to make
833
00:47:51.119 --> 00:47:53.719
sure I get these questions in and that okay, that
834
00:47:53.760 --> 00:47:56.280
everyone knows how to find you, and you're offering so
835
00:47:57.280 --> 00:48:00.000
question one, what is one truth? Your body has always
836
00:48:00.239 --> 00:48:01.719
known that your mind took years to.
837
00:48:01.679 --> 00:48:05.920
Catch up to. Oh my goodness. I think the truth
838
00:48:06.039 --> 00:48:10.719
is that my body always knows, so the body doesn't lie.
839
00:48:10.920 --> 00:48:13.559
Sometimes things would happen and my body would know, and
840
00:48:13.599 --> 00:48:16.000
I would try to convince myself otherwise, But no, the
841
00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:18.840
body does always know. Thank you.
842
00:48:19.960 --> 00:48:22.800
What is the most intimate moment you've ever had that
843
00:48:22.920 --> 00:48:24.400
had nothing to do with sex?
844
00:48:25.480 --> 00:48:29.880
Oh my goodness, Wow, that's I would guess. It is
845
00:48:30.039 --> 00:48:36.800
probably staring into the eyes of another person, like really
846
00:48:36.840 --> 00:48:40.760
being present with my hat. Oh beautiful.
847
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:43.880
Yeah, it's scary, right, It's like just sitting there and breathing.
848
00:48:43.920 --> 00:48:45.800
You're like, I don't know why I'm so scared right now?
849
00:48:46.239 --> 00:48:50.199
Yeah? Yeah, I think it's like an instinctual thing. Mm hmm.
850
00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:56.239
Thank you. If you could be remembered for one sensation
851
00:48:56.440 --> 00:48:57.920
you gave someone, what would it be.
852
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:05.400
For them to feel the physical penetration of my love
853
00:49:05.480 --> 00:49:10.440
for them? Thank you? Ah.
854
00:49:10.519 --> 00:49:13.880
If leisure were a language, what would your first word
be?
855
00:49:16.039 --> 00:49:16.320
You be?
856
00:49:19.719 --> 00:49:22.440
And if your erotic life had a title like a
857
00:49:22.519 --> 00:49:26.760
novel or a film, what would it be called? She
858
00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:32.320
kept going and it got better and better. What is
859
00:49:32.360 --> 00:49:34.920
one thing you've never said out loud. But you wish
860
00:49:35.039 --> 00:49:36.239
someone would ask you.
861
00:49:36.239 --> 00:49:41.519
About Oh, my goodness, I don't think there's a thing,
862
00:49:41.639 --> 00:49:50.079
because I'm so transparent that I've already told everyone prevede beautiful.
863
00:49:50.760 --> 00:49:53.800
It's good. It means nothing has been left unsaid. Right,
864
00:49:55.880 --> 00:49:59.159
What part of your erotic self are you still afraid?
865
00:49:59.199 --> 00:50:01.239
I'm not sure freight would be the right word for
866
00:50:01.280 --> 00:50:05.360
you to bring to the light. Let's see, are you
867
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:07.320
still inspired to bring to the light?
868
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:12.280
Oh? Probably some of my darker tendencies, like my sadistic
869
00:50:12.440 --> 00:50:15.039
ones that you know, part of my brain is like, no,
870
00:50:15.239 --> 00:50:17.239
you can't do that. That would be evil and bad.
871
00:50:19.320 --> 00:50:23.840
But oh so good, Yes, to throw that in there,
872
00:50:24.039 --> 00:50:24.760
but's so good.
873
00:50:26.679 --> 00:50:27.280
Excuse me?
874
00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:31.320
What dies in you when you pretend? And what comes
875
00:50:31.360 --> 00:50:33.000
alive in you when you don't?
876
00:50:33.840 --> 00:50:39.800
Oh? Like, my literal life force energy dies like who
877
00:50:39.840 --> 00:50:43.440
I am at? You know, in my essence dies when
878
00:50:43.480 --> 00:50:48.719
I pretend and my essence comes forth, you know, my
879
00:50:48.920 --> 00:50:54.159
real exuberant life force energy comes forth when I'm real.
880
00:50:55.920 --> 00:50:56.360
Thank you.
881
00:50:58.239 --> 00:51:02.119
Now finish this sentence. When I leave this life, I
882
00:51:02.159 --> 00:51:04.280
want my skin to remember.
883
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:09.840
All the pleasure it has experienced.
884
00:51:10.199 --> 00:51:15.840
Oh yes, please, And if the soul has a scent.
885
00:51:16.199 --> 00:51:17.960
What does yours smell like today?
886
00:51:18.639 --> 00:51:19.480
Oh?
887
00:51:19.679 --> 00:51:26.000
I want to say rose beautiful, Thank you, thank You're welcome.
888
00:51:27.159 --> 00:51:29.679
So I'm just gonna yeah, that was so much fun. Yes,
889
00:51:29.800 --> 00:51:33.159
thank you. I want to just ask you if there's
890
00:51:33.159 --> 00:51:35.960
anything that you want to leave our audience with our listeners,
891
00:51:36.679 --> 00:51:39.280
any pearls of wisdom and any offerings that you have.
892
00:51:39.679 --> 00:51:47.280
Yes, absolutely so. I mentioned the the self study course
893
00:51:47.360 --> 00:51:49.719
for women, right,
which is called the Lost Art, And
894
00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:52.679
I call it that because Contra to me, is like
895
00:51:52.920 --> 00:51:55.840
it's been lost to our world. People don't even understand
896
00:51:55.880 --> 00:51:58.840
what it is really. They think it's all sexual and
897
00:51:58.920 --> 00:52:03.920
it's really not. And I also understand that it's a
898
00:52:03.920 --> 00:52:07.960
big jump, right and scary for women to just be like, yes,
899
00:52:08.039 --> 00:52:10.960
I want to sign up, and you know, take Maria's course.
900
00:52:11.039 --> 00:52:16.320
It's eight modules, it all been professionally filmed. Right, You've
901
00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:19.119
seen the class because I have. Yeah, that's wonderful.
902
00:52:19.199 --> 00:52:23.039
Yeah it's and it's beautifully done and so clear and instruction.
903
00:52:23.239 --> 00:52:29.119
I think for anyone who's just just who hasn't gone there,
904
00:52:29.159 --> 00:52:33.199
I just really needs this clear map and guide. It's
905
00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:35.119
it's perfectly and beautifully done.
906
00:52:35.800 --> 00:52:39.960
Thank you. So what I realized is that a lot
907
00:52:40.039 --> 00:52:43.199
of women are not ready to just jump there, and
908
00:52:43.280 --> 00:52:46.400
so I've made something that's like a baby step, because
909
00:52:46.440 --> 00:52:49.039
that's what mostly we all need right when we're scared
910
00:52:49.079 --> 00:52:52.159
to do something, is a baby step. And the baby
911
00:52:52.199 --> 00:52:57.920
step is a five minute Yoni awakening ritual for those
912
00:52:57.960 --> 00:53:02.440
of us who have felt disconnected from our own yonies,
913
00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:04.880
which can certainly happen later in life, but really it
914
00:53:04.920 --> 00:53:08.519
could be for anybody. So it's a PDF that's like
915
00:53:08.760 --> 00:53:11.360
educational and then it's a five minute video which is
916
00:53:11.400 --> 00:53:15.119
really like a meditation, and it gives an opportunity for
917
00:53:15.400 --> 00:53:19.639
the woman to with their own consent, to touch their
918
00:53:19.679 --> 00:53:23.519
body in pleasurable ways and to touch theironi in pleasurable ways.
919
00:53:24.079 --> 00:53:26.920
And almost nobody can say they don't have enough time
920
00:53:27.199 --> 00:53:30.119
for doing a five minute practice. So if you do
921
00:53:30.400 --> 00:53:35.400
want to find that, it's my website Maria Mrloni m
922
00:53:35.519 --> 00:53:37.800
A r I A M E r l O n
923
00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:43.559
I dot com slash ritual and it'll bring you write
924
00:53:43.559 --> 00:53:45.440
your page where you can sign up to have that
925
00:53:45.599 --> 00:53:48.280
sent to you, and it's my gift to you. There's
926
00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:50.840
no charge for it, and I hope that it will
927
00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:56.320
re spark something in you because it really is worth it, right.
928
00:53:56.280 --> 00:53:58.400
And I would say to anyone who's like willing, you know,
929
00:53:58.519 --> 00:54:02.000
even just have the desire, even the little desire to
930
00:54:02.039 --> 00:54:05.360
go full fledged like all in. It's it's you know,
931
00:54:05.519 --> 00:54:09.360
the scariest part is saying yes to yourself and then
932
00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:12.559
when you realize like, oh, this isn't scary, this is
933
00:54:12.559 --> 00:54:15.840
something my body has been calling for. There's no like
934
00:54:15.960 --> 00:54:19.280
you know, it's it's there to nourish you, and you
935
00:54:19.400 --> 00:54:23.760
do it in such a safe and educated and very
936
00:54:23.800 --> 00:54:28.000
easy going easier right, It's just easy way, easy being.
937
00:54:28.079 --> 00:54:30.519
And so yeah, I just highly recommend.
938
00:54:31.599 --> 00:54:33.800
So thank you for being here.
939
00:54:34.719 --> 00:54:37.880
This was amazing, Yeah, absolute pleasure.
940
00:54:38.840 --> 00:54:41.000
And for is there anything else you want to say
941
00:54:41.039 --> 00:54:41.760
before we go?
942
00:54:44.000 --> 00:54:46.480
I think I've kind of probably said it all for
943
00:54:46.519 --> 00:54:46.960
the moment.
944
00:54:47.440 --> 00:54:49.760
Yeah, all right, I'm just going to.
945
00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:52.920
Say goodbye to everyone. See you next week.
946
00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:56.320
Thank you for joining us for this conversation with Maria,
947
00:54:56.760 --> 00:55:02.039
and yeah, see you next week, joh. Thank you for
948
00:55:02.119 --> 00:55:04.599
listening to Skin and Soul with me, Gwenham. Join me
949
00:55:04.639 --> 00:55:08.159
Fridays at ten ampst on Transformation Talk Radio. Catch the
950
00:55:08.199 --> 00:55:11.320
podcast anytime on your favorite platforms. You can follow me
951
00:55:11.360 --> 00:55:14.039
on Instagram at Ubology ready to.
952
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:14.800
Take the next step.
953
00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:30.760
Book a compatibilitycall with me at Gwenhemcarsley dot com.