บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ The Jack Benny Program JB ,,,,, Jack Talks About His Christmas Party (Bye 41 Hello 42)

Dennis? You certainly 79 00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:25.220 met a lot of celebrities. 80 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:26.639 What do you mean, celebrities? 81 00:04:26.959 --> 00:04:29.680 I mean movie stars. Ginger Rogers was there, wasn't she? 82 00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:32.079 Ginger Rogers' car broke down and she stopped in to 83 00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:33.079 use your telephone. 84 00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:40.170 Whoever walks in that front door is a guest. Whether 85 00:04:40.189 --> 00:04:46.120 it's Ginger or Moivin. And there were other stars there, too. Oh, say, Don, 86 00:04:46.139 --> 00:04:48.079 did you read any notices about my party in the 87 00:04:48.139 --> 00:04:51.420 society pages? I imagine all the papers covered it, huh? 88 00:04:51.800 --> 00:04:53.819 No, Jack, I looked, but I didn't see a word 89 00:04:53.870 --> 00:04:54.550 about your party. 90 00:04:55.209 --> 00:04:56.350 Oh. Oh, you didn't, huh? 91 00:04:56.410 --> 00:04:58.149 Well, I saw a swell write-up, Jack. 92 00:04:58.350 --> 00:05:03.649 Where, where? Who, who, who? Who did it? Where, what, where, where? Wait, wait, wait. 93 00:05:03.689 --> 00:05:04.430 Where'd you see a write-up? 94 00:05:05.250 --> 00:05:06.889 In the downtown shopping news. 95 00:05:07.110 --> 00:05:09.509 Oh. Oh. 96 00:05:09.939 --> 00:05:11.420 I thought you'd like to read it, so I clipped 97 00:05:11.459 --> 00:05:14.279 it out. Get a load of this, fellas. Jack Benny's 98 00:05:14.319 --> 00:05:17.269 Christmas party last Thursday was one of the outstanding events 99 00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:20.930 of the Beverly Hills social season. Well... Among those present 100 00:05:20.949 --> 00:05:26.889 were Rodney Dangerfield, the cowboy star, Barney Dean, Stella Buggenhaven.... 101 00:05:27.220 --> 00:05:29.560 That's Rodney's leading lady, remember? 102 00:05:29.800 --> 00:05:31.639 And your reporter, Scoop Scoopsky. 103 00:05:31.879 --> 00:05:34.350 Good old Scoop. Go on, Mary. 104 00:05:34.370 --> 00:05:38.589 Delicious ham hocks a la Duster were enjoyed by all. 105 00:05:38.750 --> 00:05:41.970 Ham hocks? Quiet. Go ahead, Mary. 106 00:05:43.949 --> 00:05:46.129 And the highlight of the evening was when Miss Ginger 107 00:05:46.170 --> 00:05:48.050 Rogers stopped in to use the telephone. 108 00:05:48.410 --> 00:05:50.310 I'll never forget the look on Scoop's face. 109 00:05:50.819 --> 00:05:53.500 After dinner, the guests retired to Mr. Benny's rumpus room, 110 00:05:53.779 --> 00:05:57.519 which was tastefully decorated with holly, mistletoe, and a huge bag. 111 00:05:57.899 --> 00:06:03.040 That was the present Mr. Billingsley gave me. Oh. Boy, 112 00:06:03.079 --> 00:06:10.629 am I going to have flowers. What else does it say, Mary? 113 00:06:11.009 --> 00:06:13.410 The party broke up around 10 p.m. when the ace 114 00:06:13.470 --> 00:06:15.540 of spades fell out of Barney Dean's sleeve. 115 00:06:21.480 --> 00:06:24.060 For a minute there, I thought Rodney was going to 116 00:06:24.079 --> 00:06:27.480 shoot him. That was a lovely notice, Mary. Well, Dennis... 117 00:06:27.579 --> 00:06:29.120 Give it to me, Mary. I'll send it to my father. 118 00:06:29.519 --> 00:06:33.269 He thinks I'm cheap. Well, Dennis, it's time for a song, 119 00:06:33.329 --> 00:06:34.079 so how about it? 120 00:06:34.269 --> 00:06:35.129 Say, I thought Mr. 121 00:06:35.149 --> 00:06:37.389 Dangerfield did take a shot at him. Dennis, we won't 122 00:06:37.449 --> 00:06:42.610 discuss those things now. Let's have your song. Okay. Hold it. 123 00:06:42.850 --> 00:06:46.850 Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes? Happy New Year, you I wish, 124 00:06:47.129 --> 00:06:50.160 and season's greetings so delish. I hope your days are 125 00:06:50.180 --> 00:06:52.709 bright and sunny. Well, thank you, sir. You're welcome, honey. 126 00:06:53.310 --> 00:06:57.269 Get out of here! Sing, Dennis. I must call up 127 00:06:57.310 --> 00:07:16.250 Barney and see if he needs another transfusion. That was 128 00:07:16.310 --> 00:07:19.629 Who Called, sung by Dennis Day. And, Dennis, that was swell. 129 00:07:19.990 --> 00:07:22.110 By the way, kid, before I forget it, I want 130 00:07:22.129 --> 00:07:24.470 to thank you for that lovely Christmas present you sent me. 131 00:07:24.750 --> 00:07:28.189 Shaving cream is one thing I can always use. Yes, sir. 132 00:07:28.269 --> 00:07:29.449 That wasn't shaving cream, Mr. 133 00:07:29.470 --> 00:07:29.670 Benny. 134 00:07:29.689 --> 00:07:39.050 That was a tube of anchovy paste. Oh, anchovy paste. Hmm. 135 00:07:39.689 --> 00:07:43.870 I was wondering why it didn't lather. And now, ladies 136 00:07:43.930 --> 00:07:47.810 and gentlemen... Hmm, the cat kept licking my face all morning. 137 00:07:48.689 --> 00:07:51.329 That should have tipped me off right there. Oh, well. 138 00:07:52.310 --> 00:07:54.910 And now, ladies and gentlemen... Hiya, fellas. Well, tomorrow's the 139 00:07:54.930 --> 00:07:58.029 big night. You got your reservation in, Jackson? What reservation? 140 00:07:58.069 --> 00:08:00.189 You know, me and the boys. We're opening downtown at 141 00:08:00.209 --> 00:08:04.920 the Biltmore Bowl. Oh, yes, that's right. Hmm, Wilshire Bowl, 142 00:08:05.019 --> 00:08:07.480 Biltmore Bowl... You and your orchestra have been in more 143 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:08.839 bowls than a pair of chopsticks. 144 00:08:09.220 --> 00:08:10.060 Hey! 145 00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:12.730 Yeah, that's all right. I'm going to pull that tomorrow night. 146 00:08:12.750 --> 00:08:15.209 Can I have that gag, Jackson? It's yours for two bucks, Phil. 147 00:08:15.230 --> 00:08:18.050 That's what I paid for it. I'll be glad to 148 00:08:18.089 --> 00:08:21.019 get out from under. Say, Phil, what kind of a 149 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:22.540 show have you got lined up for the opening? Ah, 150 00:08:22.579 --> 00:08:25.230 it's terrific. First, we're going to play some straight band numbers, 151 00:08:25.269 --> 00:08:27.579 then sing a lot of novelty songs, and

then Charlie 152 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:31.720 Bagby's going to do a soft shoe dance. Uh, Bagby, 153 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:34.100 your piano player? Does he dance? No, but we got 154 00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:38.019 to get him up. That stool needs painting. Oh. And then, 155 00:08:38.210 --> 00:08:40.610 on the late show, Frankie, my guitar player, is going 156 00:08:40.629 --> 00:08:43.490 to get up and do some acrobatic tricks. Look, Phil, 157 00:08:43.590 --> 00:08:46.110 on the late show, if Frankie just gets up, I'll 158 00:08:46.149 --> 00:08:52.509 give him a hand. Believe me. And don't tell us 159 00:08:52.570 --> 00:08:53.840 any more, you'll spoil it. 160 00:08:54.220 --> 00:08:56.080 Say, Phil, you're opening going to be formal? 161 00:08:56.100 --> 00:08:58.559 Do I have to dress? Well, you ought to wear something. 162 00:09:00.919 --> 00:09:04.090 Always an answer. That Harris is a clip. A clip? 163 00:09:14.419 --> 00:09:22.960 That hair is in a clip. What a character. Say, Bill, 164 00:09:23.159 --> 00:09:24.919 shall we tell. 165 00:09:25.100 --> 00:09:27.460 Shall we tell Jack the surprise we got cooked up 166 00:09:27.480 --> 00:09:28.100 for the opening? 167 00:09:28.139 --> 00:09:29.820 Yeah, Jackson, Mary and me are going to do a 168 00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:32.120 cute little number called How About You. You know, it's 169 00:09:32.139 --> 00:09:33.980 the one that Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland sing in 170 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.940 their new picture. Hey, that ought to be good. And listen... 171 00:09:37.149 --> 00:09:39.850 If you want another great idea, how about... Oh, this 172 00:09:39.909 --> 00:09:42.570 is terrific. How about in the second chorus, if I 173 00:09:42.590 --> 00:09:44.129 pick up my violin and play. 174 00:09:44.169 --> 00:09:45.409 See what I told you, Phil? 175 00:09:46.620 --> 00:09:48.600 Listen, Mary, it's Phil's opening, and if he wants me 176 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.460 to play a violin solo, that's his business. Eh, Philsy? 177 00:09:51.539 --> 00:09:53.419 Them ham hocks I ate, but the violin is over 178 00:09:53.460 --> 00:10:06.769 my dead body. All right, all right. 179 00:10:06.889 --> 00:10:08.710 Say, Phil, why don't you and Mary try out that 180 00:10:08.730 --> 00:10:09.669 song for us tonight? 181 00:10:09.830 --> 00:10:12.090 All right, come on, Mary, let's show them how it goes. Okay. 182 00:10:12.269 --> 00:10:13.929 All right, go ahead, but if you hear a violin 183 00:10:13.970 --> 00:10:16.509 in the second chorus, don't be surprised. Go ahead, let's 184 00:10:16.529 --> 00:10:21.350 have the song. Wait a minute. I'll take it. Hello? 185 00:10:21.669 --> 00:10:22.120 Hello, Mr. 186 00:10:22.149 --> 00:10:22.340 Benny. 187 00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:23.220 This is Rochester. 188 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:26.259 What do you want? I was just wondering, boss, can 189 00:10:26.299 --> 00:10:28.059 I have tomorrow night off on account. 190 00:10:27.799 --> 00:10:28.500 Of New Year's Eve? 191 00:10:29.419 --> 00:10:32.909 Rochester, New Year's Eve isn't until Wednesday night. Well, I 192 00:10:32.929 --> 00:10:34.570 want to let my hair down. It'll take me two 193 00:10:34.610 --> 00:10:44.639 days to drink the curl out of it. Now, Rochester, 194 00:10:44.679 --> 00:10:50.159 let me make one thing clear. You're getting New Year's off, Eve. 195 00:10:50.179 --> 00:10:53.509 You're getting New Year's Eve off, and that's all. And furthermore, 196 00:10:53.590 --> 00:10:55.690 I want you to be back to work at 9 a.m. 197 00:10:55.710 --> 00:11:00.009 the next morning. 9 a.m.? Yes, 9 a.m. Okay. If 198 00:11:00.070 --> 00:11:01.710 I ain't in the kitchen, look in the rose bushes. 199 00:11:05.860 --> 00:11:08.299 I'm not going to hunt for you. Now, look, Rochester, 200 00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:09.519 there are a lot of things you can do on 201 00:11:09.580 --> 00:11:13.019 New Year's Eve besides drinking... You can throw confetti. Uh-huh. 202 00:11:13.419 --> 00:11:17.159 And you can blow horns. Uh-huh. And break balloons. Uh-huh. 203 00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:20.000 And when midnight comes and the old year passes out... 204 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:20.850 I want to go with it! 205 00:11:21.179 --> 00:11:28.269 Rochester! 206 00:11:28.289 --> 00:11:31.309 Rochester, believe me, I know what I'm talking about. You'll 207 00:11:31.350 --> 00:11:33.250 feel much better the next day if you stick to 208 00:11:33.289 --> 00:11:36.429 ginger ale like I do. Okay, you're the boss. You 209 00:11:36.450 --> 00:11:37.610 mean you're going to stick to ginger ale? 210 00:11:37.850 --> 00:11:39.269 No, just okay, you're the boss. 211 00:11:45.429 --> 00:11:47.009 Well, I don't care what you do, but I want 212 00:11:47.029 --> 00:11:50.769 to see you 9 o'clock the following morning on the job. Goodbye. Goodbye. 213 00:11:51.070 --> 00:11:51.870 Oh, say, boss. 214 00:11:51.889 --> 00:11:54.149 Now what? I forgot to thank you for that beautiful 215 00:11:54.220 --> 00:11:57.120 Christmas present you gave me. That's all right, Rochester. I 216 00:11:57.139 --> 00:12:00.299 always wanted a fountain pen. That's good. Now that I 217 00:12:00.340 --> 00:12:01.940 got that bottle of ink, I'm going to buy one. 218 00:12:08.899 --> 00:12:11.440 I knew you'd like it. So long, Rochester. So long. 219 00:12:12.360 --> 00:12:14.289 So hard to figure out what to buy him. He 220 00:12:14.370 --> 00:12:17.409 has everything. Now, where were we? Well, Mary and me 221 00:12:17.429 --> 00:12:19.009 are going to give out with that song. Oh, yes, 222 00:12:19.029 --> 00:12:21.490 go ahead. And remember what I said about the second chorus. Sing, 223 00:12:21.529 --> 00:12:24.889 my little chickadees. My writers are working for W.C. Fields now. 224 00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:36.840 I like New York in June. How about you? 225 00:12:38.539 --> 00:12:42.340 I like the Gershwin tune. How about you? 226 00:12:43.059 --> 00:12:46.340 I love a fireside when a storm is due. 227 00:12:47.350 -->

00:12:51.190 I like potato chips, moonlight, and motor drifts. How about you? 228 00:12:52.110 --> 00:12:56.610 I'm mad about good books. Can't get my fill. 229 00:12:56.789 --> 00:12:58.269 And Robert Taylor's looks. 230 00:12:58.909 --> 00:13:01.970 Give me a thrill. Holding hands in a movie show 231 00:13:02.009 --> 00:13:04.750 when all the lights are low. May not be new, 232 00:13:05.190 --> 00:13:06.509 but I like it. 233 00:13:06.590 --> 00:13:10.120 How about you? 234 00:13:10.139 --> 00:13:15.460 I like Fred Allen's joker to a degree. I love 235 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:16.500 the common folk. 236 00:13:19.100 --> 00:13:21.730 That was How About You from the MGM picture Babes 237 00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:25.850 on Broadway, sung by Mickey Harris and Judy Livingston, with 238 00:13:25.889 --> 00:13:30.029 violin hot licks by jiving Jackie Bennet. You see, that 239 00:13:30.110 --> 00:13:32.129 fiddle bit in there really helped the number, didn't it, Mary? 240 00:13:33.289 --> 00:13:40.049 Didn't it, Phil? Didn't it, Don? Didn't it, Dennis? Fool me. Thanks. 241 00:13:42.570 --> 00:13:45.590 And now, ladies and gentlemen, as is our custom at 242 00:13:45.629 --> 00:13:48.129 this time of year, tonight we are going to present 243 00:13:48.309 --> 00:13:52.250 our annual New Year's play entitled The New Tenant, or 244 00:13:52.289 --> 00:13:56.779 Goodbye 41, Hello 42. Now, once again, I will play 245 00:13:56.820 --> 00:13:58.899 the part of the... Say, Mr. Benny, every year you 246 00:13:58.950 --> 00:14:01.870 do one of these plays and I don't understand them. Well, 247 00:14:01.889 --> 00:14:03.830 you see, Dennis, these little sketches we do at the 248 00:14:03.850 --> 00:14:06.710 close of each year are not so much plays as 249 00:14:06.750 --> 00:14:13.720 they are allegorical fantasies. Oh. See, they, um... You see, 250 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:17.799 they deal with the abstract and the esoteric rather than 251 00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:18.940 with the prosaic. 252 00:14:19.259 --> 00:14:20.299 Oh, for heaven's sake. 253 00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:30.029 Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Do you understand, Dennis? Give me that again, 254 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:37.740 and if my face lights up, stop. All right. Now, look, kid. 255 00:14:38.059 --> 00:14:41.779 Ladies and gentlemen, while Jack is explaining tonight's play to Dennis, 256 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:45.600 let me tell you about Jell-O with its new locked-in process. 257 00:14:45.620 --> 00:14:49.230 Jell-O is not only economical and easy to make, but 258 00:14:49.289 --> 00:14:53.330 comes in six delicious flavors. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry. 259 00:14:53.730 --> 00:14:56.990 Orange, lemon, and lime. I thank you. But listen to 260 00:14:57.009 --> 00:15:01.500 the thought behind it. So remember, it's nothing but abstract symbolism. 261 00:15:01.889 --> 00:15:03.399 Have you got it, Dennis? Yes, sir. 262 00:15:03.460 --> 00:15:04.600 Rub a little on me, will you, kid? 263 00:15:06.309 --> 00:15:09.110 Phil,

you've got an important role. You're going to be 264 00:15:09.190 --> 00:15:12.129 Uncle Sam, so study it. Now, in our sketch tonight, 265 00:15:12.190 --> 00:15:14.289 I will play the part of the old year, 1941, 266 00:15:14.269 --> 00:15:17.710 who has been living in a big boarding house called 267 00:15:17.750 --> 00:15:22.230 the United States, run by Uncle Sam and his wife, Columbia. Mary, 268 00:15:22.269 --> 00:15:24.389 you're going to be Columbia, and you have 48 children, 269 00:15:24.970 --> 00:15:26.330 one for each state in the Union. 270 00:15:26.330 --> 00:15:27.570 48 children? 271 00:15:27.649 --> 00:15:31.169 Holy smoke. Well, you were born in 1776. 272 00:15:31.169 --> 00:15:32.549 Oh, well, that's not so bad, then. 273 00:15:32.610 --> 00:15:36.480 Of course not. And, oh, yes, you have some adopted kids, too, 274 00:15:36.500 --> 00:15:40.080 like Puerto Rico, Hawaii, the Philippines, and so on. And 275 00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:42.720 now for our play. As the curtain rises, it is 276 00:15:42.779 --> 00:15:47.159 almost midnight of December 31st. An old man, 1941, is 277 00:15:47.230 --> 00:15:49.669 up in his room, packing his bags and ready to 278 00:15:49.710 --> 00:16:06.159 make his exit. Curtain music. Curtain music. Oh, Columbia. Columbia, 279 00:16:06.179 --> 00:16:07.379 will you come up here, please? 280 00:16:07.740 --> 00:16:09.299 What do you want, 41? 281 00:16:09.299 --> 00:16:11.320 Give me a hand with this packing, will you? Got 282 00:16:11.340 --> 00:16:13.419 to get out of here before midnight and make room 283 00:16:13.460 --> 00:16:14.799 for the new tenant. Oh, yes. 284 00:16:14.860 --> 00:16:16.419 Little 42 will be here any minute. 285 00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:19.399 Boy, am I a wreck. I'm glad I'm not a 286 00:16:19.419 --> 00:16:23.000 leap year. I couldn't stand another day. You're telling me. 287 00:16:23.259 --> 00:16:25.399 You didn't have starch in your beer. You toppled right over. 288 00:16:26.379 --> 00:16:29.610 I do look a little like a tripod. I can 289 00:16:29.629 --> 00:16:35.250 go along with a gag. Hey, where's your husband, Uncle Sam? 290 00:16:35.330 --> 00:16:36.570 I'd like to say goodbye to him. 291 00:16:36.889 --> 00:16:39.269 Oh, he's around someplace. You know, he's been working night 292 00:16:39.309 --> 00:16:39.750 and day. 293 00:16:39.769 --> 00:16:42.330 He sure has. I like the way all your kids 294 00:16:42.389 --> 00:16:45.169 have pitched in and helped him, too. Here comes one 295 00:16:45.190 --> 00:16:46.009 of your boys now. 296 00:16:46.129 --> 00:16:47.450 Yeah, that's my fattest one. 297 00:16:47.789 --> 00:16:48.629 Hello, Texas. 298 00:16:48.750 --> 00:16:50.000 Hello, old farmer. 299 00:16:50.120 --> 00:16:51.240 How are you, ma? 300 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:54.940 My, my, look at the size of that boy. 301 00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:57.029 Yeah, he's getting a little plump around El Paso. 302 00:17:05.359 --> 00:17:10.880 His Galveston could stand a little reducing, too, right? Fine boy, though. Say, uh, Ma, 303 00:17:10.900 --> 00:17:13.700 have you seen Pa around? I got some new airfields 304 00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:14.480 I want to show him. 305 00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:16.900 Oh, he's out in the yard somewhere, and he's madder 306 00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:17.579 than a hornet. 307 00:17:17.740 --> 00:17:18.700 I'll go look for him. 308 00:17:18.900 --> 00:17:19.940 See you later, Mom. 309 00:17:21.380 --> 00:17:24.440 You know, Columbia, I don't blame Sam for being so 310 00:17:24.500 --> 00:17:24.980 riled up. 311 00:17:25.140 --> 00:17:27.109 You mean about our little adopted daughter, Lulu? 312 00:17:27.420 --> 00:17:29.910 Yep, Lulu. Burns me up just to think of it. 313 00:17:30.450 --> 00:17:32.549 There she was on a Sunday morning out in the 314 00:17:32.589 --> 00:17:36.660 yard picking pineapples. minding her own business, when a swarm 315 00:17:36.700 --> 00:17:39.200 of them darn yellow jackets flew in and stung her 316 00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:39.859 right in the back. 317 00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:42.460 That was a low-down trick if I ever heard of one. 318 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:44.970 Well, she's got plenty of flit there now. Let them 319 00:17:45.009 --> 00:17:57.380 come back. Hey, Columbia. Columbia, hand me some of that 320 00:17:57.519 --> 00:17:59.799 swing music, will you? Might as well pack that and 321 00:17:59.880 --> 00:18:00.700 take it along with me. 322 00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:01.519 Here you are. 323 00:18:01.700 --> 00:18:11.799 Thanks. Well, I'll just pack it in here in my grip. 324 00:18:12.019 --> 00:18:14.160 You might as well take all these strikes and arguments 325 00:18:14.200 --> 00:18:14.839 with you, too. 326 00:18:14.940 --> 00:18:17.690 Yep, you won't be needing them for a while. No siree. 327 00:18:17.970 --> 00:18:20.009 Hey, old-timer, come over here by the window. 328 00:18:20.269 --> 00:18:26.349 Look! Well, I'll be darned if that mad dog ate off. 329 00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:29.500 Look at that bear chasing him. 330 00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:31.829 Is that a Russian bear? It ain't Carmichael. 331 00:18:31.900 --> 00:18:32.609 Look at him go. 332 00:18:32.809 --> 00:18:34.230 Oh, shut up, Benito. 333 00:18:34.250 --> 00:18:34.980 Who cares about you? 334 00:18:55.579 --> 00:18:57.839 Well, we've got to be out of here before long. 335 00:18:58.299 --> 00:18:59.339 What time is it, Columbia? 336 00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:00.910 About three minutes to twelve. 337 00:19:01.130 --> 00:19:04.990 Hmm. I'd better get finished up here. Don't call them double-crossers! 338 00:19:05.049 --> 00:19:06.789 I'll get even with them if it's the last thing 339 00:19:06.910 --> 00:19:07.369 I do! 340 00:19:07.730 --> 00:19:08.769 Here comes Sam now. 341 00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:12.740 Hello, Uncle Sam. Ain't you gone yet? Nope, got about 342 00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:15.720 two more minutes. Now, calm down, Sam. Don't get excited. Well, 343 00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:17.759 it's about time I got excited.

When I think of 344 00:19:17.799 --> 00:19:20.180 what they're doing to my boy Manila. Well, I don't 345 00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:21.740 blame you. I'm going to kick the teeth out of 346 00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:24.460 them yellow devils. That's about all there is to them anyway. 347 00:19:31.349 --> 00:19:32.369 Atta boy, Sam. 348 00:19:32.829 --> 00:19:36.289 Well, Sam, I'll be leaving you pretty soon. Doggone, look 349 00:19:36.309 --> 00:19:41.279 at that clock. Just got my duds together in time. Hmm, 350 00:19:41.339 --> 00:19:44.319 that's first stroke twelve. Wonder what's keeping the new tenant. 351 00:19:45.220 --> 00:19:46.670 Little fella should be here by now. 352 00:19:46.849 --> 00:19:48.000 Don't worry, he'll show up. 353 00:19:48.410 --> 00:19:51.799 Now, here's a little tip for you, Sam. Just keep 354 00:19:51.819 --> 00:19:54.460 your shirt on, but your sleeves rolled up. Everything will 355 00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:56.180 be all right. Well, when I think of what they 356 00:19:56.220 --> 00:20:00.180 did to Lulu... Take it easy now. Take it easy. Hmm, 357 00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:03.720 times are fleeting. I can't leave till that little shaver 358 00:20:03.779 --> 00:20:04.220 gets here. 359 00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:06.019 That must be him now. 360 00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:12.940 Yeah. Come in. Well... Hello, young fella. You the little 361 00:20:12.980 --> 00:20:13.519 new year? 362 00:20:13.640 --> 00:20:15.180 This ain't a sarong I'm wearing. 363 00:20:16.980 --> 00:20:20.970 That's good. You're going to need a sense of humor, kid. 364 00:20:22.089 --> 00:20:25.289 Come on in. Want to meet Uncle Sam and his wife, Columbia. 365 00:20:25.450 --> 00:20:27.309 Glad to know you, folks. Hello, Sonny. 366 00:20:27.410 --> 00:20:31.069 Hiya, Bob. Make yourself the home. Well, son, I hope 367 00:20:31.109 --> 00:20:31.950 you brought some good. 368 00:20:31.829 --> 00:20:32.410 Things with you. 369 00:20:32.890 --> 00:20:35.259 You like staying in this house. It's the finest home 370 00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:35.779 on the block. 371 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:39.119 I'm glad to hear that. You better be moving along, old-timer. 372 00:20:39.319 --> 00:20:40.140 I've got work to do. 373 00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.619 Yep, might as well be moseying along. But before I go, 374 00:20:45.829 --> 00:20:47.930 I want to give you a little advice. First, take 375 00:20:47.950 --> 00:20:50.750 good care of Uncle Sam here. Let him get mad 376 00:20:50.789 --> 00:20:52.769 when he wants to, but see that he don't fly 377 00:20:52.849 --> 00:20:57.589 off the handle. See what I mean? Take care of 378 00:20:57.630 --> 00:21:00.940 his friends and good neighbors, too. And that Dutch uncle 379 00:21:00.980 --> 00:21:01.200 of his. 380 00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:02.720 Leave it to me, old-timer. 381 00:21:03.259 --> 00:21:06.059 Look, you may have to put out the lights here 382 00:21:06.099 --> 00:21:08.180 in the house once in a while, but see that 383 00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:11.660 that torch at the front gate that's always burning... And say, 384 00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:16.160 before I forget it, Uncle Sam's got a nephew named 385 00:21:16.220 --> 00:21:18.980 Franklin that's taking mighty good care of the old boy. 386 00:21:19.009 --> 00:21:22.009 Ain't he, Sam? You're darn tootin'. So keep an eye 387 00:21:22.089 --> 00:21:24.569 on him, son, and give him all the help you can. 388 00:21:24.849 --> 00:21:27.069 Franklin, huh? Well, I'll write that down. 389 00:21:28.109 --> 00:21:30.519 And as long as you're writing down names, here's another 390 00:21:30.579 --> 00:21:32.339 one for you. Put down Winston. 391 00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:33.099 Winston? 392 00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:33.640 Yep. 393 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:35.099 Franklin and Winston. 394 00:21:35.779 --> 00:21:37.460 What are these two fellas' last names? 395 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:39.789 Ain't necessary, son. Everybody knows them. 396 00:21:40.140 --> 00:21:40.710 Anyone else? 397 00:21:41.569 --> 00:21:46.230 Well, let's see. You can put down Chung Kai Shek. 398 00:21:46.549 --> 00:21:49.369 Nice fella. Believe me, he's just as tough as he 399 00:21:49.430 --> 00:21:52.750 is to pronounce. And, oh, there's a lot more of them, 400 00:21:52.789 --> 00:21:56.170 but Sam will give you the names later. Well, gotta 401 00:21:56.190 --> 00:22:00.960 be leaving. So long, Sam. So long, old-timer. Here we go. 402 00:22:01.240 --> 00:22:02.440 So long, 41. 403 00:22:02.420 --> 00:22:05.150 So long, Columbia. Keep them flyin'.