บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ COULD COUNT BINFACE ACTUALLY BEAT NIGEL FARAGE

--> 00:02:35.765 But, but anyway, yeah, I mean, it's not, it's not the greatest constituency to… But, but anyway, yeah. 00:02:36.746 --> 00:02:37.265 Yeah. 00:02:37.265 --> 00:02:40.936 What else- But, so I mean, it's got a nice beach, I guess Which could be good. 00:02:41.754 --> 00:02:50.794 Uh- You know But Like overweight people in like those disabled strollers going up and down the seafront playing the two piece slider machines. 00:02:51.645 --> 00:02:53.045 It's, it's, I guess one of those sorts of- This is it. 00:02:53.045 --> 00:02:55.015 It's peak, peak Britain. 00:02:55.495 --> 00:03:03.506 Um- It's almost as good as where I grew up around like Mablethorpe and Skegness, you know, really middle England sort of strongholds. 00:03:03.506 --> 00:03:05.725 Best of British everything. 00:03:05.735 --> 00:03:05.754 Yeah. 00:03:06.205 --> 00:03:08.544 Fish and chips and amusement parks. 00:03:09.336 --> 00:03:09.626 Yeah. 00:03:09.935 --> 00:03:10.155 Yeah. 00:03:10.155 --> 00:03:29.914 Um, but yeah, so it, um, this thing, like you were saying, that he's gonna be running against all the other parties and candidates, a, a lot of people in these parties are kind of saying, "Well, there's gonna be a second by-election anyway when this inquiry is made. 00:03:30.675 --> 00:04:05.025 We might just sit this one out." And so what, what could happen is you literally, I mean, it, it won't definitely happen, but there's a non-zero possibility that you end up in a situation where it's Farage versus Count Binface- … and they're the only two candidates, and you end up with Count Binface winning because he gets all the votes from all the other parties that are not running, and it would just be the most farcical, ridiculous thing I think anyone's ever seen in UK politics. 00:04:05.495 --> 00:04:08.995 Which would sum up the, the, the landscape of politics right now. 00:04:08.995 --> 00:04:17.276 I think what's amazing is even if that doesn't happen, it's just gonna be Farage and Count Binface on, on stage, you know, when they read out the results. 00:04:17.276 --> 00:04:18.105 Next to each other. 00:04:18.875 --> 00:04:39.035 They're, they're, they're just gonna be stood next to each other, and it's gonna be like, "And the, and the member from, you know, Count Binface has got 6,542 votes." And then Farage is gonna have to be like, "Hey, I beat the Binface thing." And UK politics just becomes a complete laughing stock. 00:04:39.115 --> 00:04:48.235 And if he loses, I guess that's the end of Farage, it's the end of Reform's chances in the next general election perhaps. 00:04:48.704 --> 00:04:52.904 Um, but have, have you looked into any of, uh, Binface's policies? 00:04:53.586 --> 00:04:55.204 No, but I'd love to hear some of them. 00:04:55.204 --> 00:04:55.470 Some of them are great. 00:04:55.470 --> 00:05:01.814 One of them's, uh, the bosses of water companies have to swim in rivers that they've polluted. 00:05:01.814 --> 00:05:05.694 Uh, another one is bring

back Ceefax. 00:05:06.946 --> 00:05:07.524 Oh, nice. 00:05:07.524 --> 00:05:09.865 I, I, I could get behind that actually. 00:05:09.865 --> 00:05:11.545 Teletext holidays and all that. 00:05:11.545 --> 00:05:12.396 It's pretty good. 00:05:12.644 --> 00:05:13.814 Um, what's another one? 00:05:13.875 --> 00:05:18.396 Oh, bring the price of a 99 Flake back down to 99p. 00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:21.759 Which should be the case anyway. 00:05:21.759 --> 00:05:25.468 They should have just continually made them smaller and, you know, to keep the price there. 00:05:25.468 --> 00:05:29.129 Although I suppose now they'd probably only be about- Bit of shrinkflation … this big. 00:05:29.129 --> 00:05:30.079 It'd be like mini verse. 00:05:30.139 --> 00:05:31.589 It'd be like walking around Poundland. 00:05:32.588 --> 00:05:33.810 Yeah, basically. 00:05:33.930 --> 00:05:36.389 But it does make you feel like you're getting a deal. 00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:39.360 Um, yeah, but I can't remember the other ones. 00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:44.309 Oh, he wants to limit the price of croissants to £1.10 for some reason. 00:05:44.649 --> 00:05:57.838 And another big, big pledge on his manifesto is to move the hand dryer in the toilets of a pub that he goes to, 'cause it's clearly a national issue and he, he doesn't like, well, the position of the hand dryer. 00:05:58.709 --> 00:06:02.339 Which I can understand that grating on you, you know, if you have to like edge past it. 00:06:02.769 --> 00:06:04.369 Maybe poor design on, on that. 00:06:04.379 --> 00:06:06.449 Those hand dryers are usually an afterthought, aren't they? 00:06:06.449 --> 00:06:10.269 But yeah, I mean, the croissant thing's clearly, you know, it's a kick at the French, isn't it? 00:06:11.170 --> 00:06:11.749 It's like- Maybe. 00:06:12.418 --> 00:06:16.480 … France's economy pretty much survives on English croissant sales. 00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:19.439 It's like- Well, I don't know. 00:06:19.439 --> 00:06:27.108 I haven't got the figures in front of me, but… If we stop buying croissants then, like, their, their economy's gonna be down the pan. 00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:28.908 That's pretty much all they sell these days. 00:06:29.788 --> 00:06:44.468 So- I mean, one thing that, that Binface did say is, uh, "Vote for me." Uh, you see it costs like, uh, 300 and something thousand pounds to, to have one of these by-elections, and he's like, "Well, just vote for me. 00:06:44.478 --> 00:06:56.738 If I win, then we don't have to do a second one, and so that saves 300 and whatever thousand pounds," which is actually like a, a, a sound valid point. 00:06:57.338 --> 00:07:02.509 Um- How amazing would it be watching him getting sworn in, i- in the Houses of Parliament? 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:06.869 Like having to sign the book and go and take his seat. 00:07:07.831 --> 00:07:12.512 I mean, that would be just fantastic just how ridiculous the whole thing could look. 00:07:12.521 --> 00:07:29.870 Well, whether this goes ahead and

actually happens, I don't know, but it, it would be for, just the most bizarre possible outcome to anything you definitely that Farage could have imagined at the time when he stepped down and triggered a by-election. 00:07:31.062 --> 00:07:31.701 Yeah. 00:07:31.711 --> 00:07:39.641 It's, it's… You'd have think he would, you, you would've thought he would've, like, known this was a possibility at the time. 00:07:40.182 --> 00:07:40.831 Yeah. 00:07:40.831 --> 00:07:44.781 So I don't really understand how it's got to this stage. 00:07:45.411 --> 00:07:47.930 And, and again, it's only a chance that this could happen. 00:07:47.940 --> 00:07:54.151 The other parties might step up and go, "Okay, well, yeah, this is a good chance for Labour to get something," even though it, it isn't. 00:07:54.670 --> 00:08:03.562 Uh, and- Mm … it, it might not, but yeah, it's just this Farage bin face showdown that would just be incredible. 00:08:04.161 --> 00:08:05.800 Well, there's also Restore, isn't there? 00:08:05.831 --> 00:08:11.100 So, like, Restore's an even further on the right, um, party. 00:08:11.100 --> 00:08:16.261 I think Rupert Lowe is- Yeah … Sir Rupert Lowe is the, the head of that. 00:08:16.261 --> 00:08:19.771 But I think they're pretty much finished after getting crushed by Burnham in that by-election. 00:08:19.771 --> 00:08:23.067 I think that was, like, a, a massive kick in the Plans. 00:08:23.067 --> 00:08:43.067 Um I could have this wrong, but I think he put out a tweet recently saying something like, "We're not gonna take part in this first one, but we, we will take part in the, the second by-election that happens." And that the first one- Right … is just like a, a, some sort of crazy media show done by Farage, and they don't want to be part of it. 00:08:44.288 --> 00:08:44.638 Yeah. 00:08:44.648 --> 00:08:52.427 Which, which it is in some ways, 'cause… And he's gone like, "Well, I'll let the people of Clacton decide." And it's like, but that's not how it works. 00:08:52.427 --> 00:08:54.076 That doesn't make you innocent. 00:08:54.966 --> 00:08:58.667 You've just got reelected in the place where you are the most popular person. 00:08:58.677 --> 00:09:01.726 That doesn't… Yeah. 00:09:01.986 --> 00:09:19.616 Yeah, it's- It's like there's that thing in, in banking, uh, where, uh, it s- someone gets, uh, found guilty of doing something, or something gets brought up, and so they then get tried in front of their peers who have also done the same thing and g- kind of go, "Oh, it's all right. 00:09:19.677 --> 00:09:23.447 Don't worry about it." Um, it's, it's not really a trial. 00:09:24.037 --> 00:09:24.496 Yeah. 00:09:24.496 --> 00:09:28.638 It's like letting people's own families decide if they committed a crime or not, isn't it, really? 00:09:29.087 --> 00:09:30.258 Basically, yeah. 00:09:30.346 --> 00:09:36.027 And he's, uh, all this on, it's like two fingers up to the establishment, and it's like, it's not really. 00:09:36.037 --> 00:09:46.878 You're just trying to, you're just trying to be strategic and trying to maintain your seat and your potential run to Number 10. 00:09:47.727 --> 00:09:48.207 Yeah. 00:09:48.326 --> 00:09:48.567 Yeah. 00:09:48.567 --> 00:09:55.927 Well, ladies and gentlemen, we will get a, a, a playlist going because there will be many, many of these by-elections in the same Clacton seat. 00:09:55.927 --> 00:10:01.366 So we're gonna have a Clacton by-election playlist here on the Temporarily Scripted channel. 00:10:01.636 --> 00:10:06.836 And if you wanna see that, then give us a like, a subscribe, stick around, and we will see you in the next one. 00:10:06.866 --> 00:10:07.956 Adam, it's been a pleasure. 00:10:08.298 --> 00:10:09.087 As always. 00:10:09.227 --> 00:10:09.886 Bye, everybody