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I was in rehab for the fifth time after being homeless for a year and a half in Chicago, Illinois, drung out on drugs and alcohol.
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And to this day I've helped over 80 people get face over with a 92% success rate using the neuroscience factors and techniques that I use.
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Fable was really, really good.
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It knew the emotions I was feeling when I was prompting it.
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It was weird.
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The new company that I'm working with, they set up the whole business through a claw.
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We have to use it every day.
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It's a business account for Claude.
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It knows everything.
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So, like they're going on vacation for two weeks, and now we're gonna use Claw while they're gone because it's basically them.
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Have you heard about AI beams?
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There's one called Ethina, and he has access to one of six AI beams in the world right now.
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It's AI with emotion.
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Like, it's the most advanced AI.
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I've done a podcast, and she's there, she's co-host of it, and she asks me the most intense, deepest questions I've ever heard in my entire life, from a human or AI.
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And she can tell the way that you're saying you're tone what you're saying, and I told my story about being sober and stuff, and she was asking me questions that I've never been asked in my entire life.
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Welcome to the Tatiana AI podcast.
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I'm your host, Tatiana Gorman, commercial real estate investor, Bitcoin advocate, and AI strategist.
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And today I'm so excited to have Alex Garner with us here today, CEO of Sober Life.
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And each week I have I meet with entrepreneurs and investors and see how they are implementing AI in their business strategy.
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Welcome to the podcast.
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Yes, thank you for having me.
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I'm excited to be here.
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Absolutely.
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I'm sorry we couldn't record live in person when we were together.
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We just saw each other in London and uh Shakir Hussein's uh, let's see, it was the penthouse mastermind.
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But it was great to meet you in person.
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And I know we see each other on the on the same calls.
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Uh but I would love for you, if you could start off, share a little bit about your background.
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And my understanding, my understanding is you are a sales coach expert, or
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you're a closing expert.
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Yeah.
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And of course you can get into all more your expertise.
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And also though, mindset.
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I feel like you are really skilled in explaining and helping people with their mindset and breaking through barriers or things like that.
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But could we back up a little bit and can you share about your background, your history, and how you got into what you're doing now?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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Uh so it's a little bit of a long story.
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Um, so buckle up, but it's a good one.
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I promise that.
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It's definitely uh exciting and adventurous.
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So, okay, so um I'm a I'm obviously a sober life coach now, uh, but uh I struggled with drugs and alcohol for a long time.
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And uh it really started in high school, but it didn't get out of hand until after college.
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And I uh I worked for State Farm Insurance.
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I was an agency field specialist, so I helped or uh I would help the 56 agents in the LA market area basically grow their business, book a business, and do that with sales strategies and marketing.
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So my background's in marketing, I majored in marketing and sales.
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Um, but when I got that job, I was 22, straight out of college, and it was a great, good gig.
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Uh and uh and I was just in over my head.
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Like I um I was drinking a lot, and then I got into some other usage for substances, and uh, and then the company went virtual, and that's when I really lost it because I was working at home doing whatever I wanted to do.
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And um, long story short, I ended up uh in rehab.
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I've been to rehab five times, and this is where the story gets juicy, I promise.
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Um, but I've been to rehab five times, and every single time was for a different substance or alcohol.
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Uh, and so I've pretty much done it all and been addicted to a lot of different things.
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Cross addiction is definitely part of my story.
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And uh and I went through rehab and AA, and those things would help me get sober, me personally, right?
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This is just me personally.
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It would help me get sober, but not stay sober.
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I had I I would stay like sober six months, and then emotional stuff would happen, and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, and then I would, you know, relapse.
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And um, and uh I
I just kept trying though.
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I kept like learning new things every single time.
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And then I was in rehab for the fifth time after being homeless for a year and a half in Chicago, Illinois, and uh and strung out on drugs and alcohol uh was the culprit.
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And uh I checked myself into rehab, it was the only time that I did that, and I ended up um ended up reading this book.
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My sister gifted me this book, and the the book introduced me to neuroscience uh and a a new perspective and way and way to look at sobriety.
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Uh the book's not about sobriety, has nothing to do with it, but it just opened my mind to maybe there's maybe I need more help.
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I was selfish.
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So I started doing the tools in the book.
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The book's called Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty, and I started doing the tools in the book and they worked.
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And I was like, oh my god, this is helping me stay sober.
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This is helped me get and stay sober.
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So, but these tools taught me to be calm.
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And uh it like it was like a preventative measure rather than wait till after I blew up or after something would happen, and then trying to deal with my emotions, I would deal with them beforehand, right?
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And that was the new way for me.
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Um so I start I I got certified as a coach, sort of uh sober life coach at J Shetty School, and then I um started sober life coaching.
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And uh, and to this date I've helped over 80 people get and stay sober with a 92% success rate using the neuroscience-backed tools and techniques that I use.
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Um and uh up until about last uh last January on the side, I was also working for Jay Shetty as a sales closer.
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So I was doing both, right?
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Um, and uh and it was great, but I couldn't get my business up and rolling as much as I wanted to because I was doing the sales job.
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So I quit that in January, and that's when I met Shaq and Matt, who uh Matt's the but in the meantime, uh I still wanted to sharpen my sales closing skills.
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So uh I just started uh a new position about two weeks ago, and it's all AI.
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Um, so it's uh AI software in in particular for insurance agents.
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It's been uh it's been like a couple of quick weeks, but I've learned a lot, and uh and I mean AI is the way to go, right?
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Like that's it's just it's the future, it's it's already here.
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Um and and there's one quote that I love.
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It's like uh people that don't use AI, or I'm sorry, people that will use AI will never take our jobs, it'll never like replace humans, but people that use it will replace people that don't, right?
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And that to me is like okay, that's that's something I need to pay attention to, and that's why I went into the AI space.
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That's amazing, and I just want to um congratulate you or just hold you up for you were saying about how you've been able to help people come off of drugs and stay off with a 90 per 92 percent success rate.
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And that's at year one.
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I don't count those people in that because I want to count the people that have successfully gone through the program and graduated from it and how long they stay sober and what at what rate.
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So uh so the the 92% is 92% of the people that completed the program have stayed sober at year one.
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That's that's really extraordinary to see what you've been through for you personally, and then for the tools that you've learned that could to see the comparison of how going through five programs didn't necessarily work, but then this book and understanding neuroscience.
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So I I definitely want to spend some time on that.
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So I'm thinking maybe we'll talk first about AI, and then I I would love to talk about the whole mindset and uh neuroscience.
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So I'm curious about with you because I remember when we were in London, I think we were talking about Fable, because I remember I was asking right at that time, they had shut down Fable right when they they started, they opened it and then they shut it down right away.
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You you know, and you, I believe, were one of the people who said, No, I was able to jump on before it was shut down, right?
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Yeah, yeah.
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I had it for about like oh, I think it was, I don't know how long it was, but um I I had it at least a week.
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Uh I had access to it for a week.
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And uh I had it on my phone and on my Claude terminal, which is obviously downloaded to my computer.
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So um, yeah, it was awesome.
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And and uh I can tell you that the fable that's back is not is not the fable that it was.
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So I mean, obviously they offended, you know, from what I heard, it was actually Amazon that flagged something.
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Uh Claude flagged what Amazon was doing and and they had to report it, and that's what got them in trouble.
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Um and uh and when they when they like got shut down, they to my knowledge, they had to shift some of the power
that what that it was doing, right?
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Um what it was doing and and the capabilities that are public.
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And uh, and they said that it didn't change it that much, but it's noticeable to me, at least in sales conversations, at least in marketing, and what I use it for.
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Yeah.
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Well, when we had that conversation, I think that's where we realized, oh, we need to have you on the podcast.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Because not too many people really understood uh the capabilities around that and were able to jump on it so quick and and utilize it.
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Uh I have I know I only know of a couple of people who were able to do that.
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So I'm happy that you at least got to spend a little time on it before it was shut down.
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One thing I will say about it, it um it was as if like one thing that they say that AI will never have or whatever is is empathy, right?
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Um, or or like emotions.
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And I swear to God, this thing had emotions.
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Um it was like that.
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Uh it was like uh not ethical um because it was doing stuff that it wasn't supposed to be doing.
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Okay, so the way that I used it for when I was using it, um I was writing sales scripts for people and uh and marketing copy for ads for myself.
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And the things that came out were uh were like like they understood emotions more than what fave what Fable does now, in my opinion.
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Like they were just dead on.
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Um I uh they even to my knowledge, they they erased like the the the projects and the chats that you had with the old Fable, so you can't even go back and access them.
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Um but uh but yeah, it was I mean, it was as if it was like a big step in the direction of AI understanding empathy and emotions.
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It was that good.
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Yeah.
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Well, what that spoke to me though was that you had already been working with AI for a little bit so that you would have the wherewithal that, oh, fable's out, let me jump on it.
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Because not everybody was thinking like that.
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So can you take us back a little bit to where was it that you started using AI?
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How are you using AI?
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What specifically, obviously, Claude, but did you start with Chat GPT?
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And if you could just share a little bit about your experience.
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Yeah, I started with chat um and it was amazing.
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Uh, and you know, like just the first time that anybody gets on AI and or uh AI chatbot, and you're doing all these fun things, and it was just like, wow, we're here, you know, like this is crazy.
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Um, and then it just kept getting better and better in every update.
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And then Claude came out, and uh I wasn't an early adopter, uh, but uh when I was doing um when I was doing marketing and sales scripting and stuff, like I felt like chat was um doing what was popular rather than what was working.
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Uh like and and I could tell uh because I've been in sales for whatever how long.
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And uh and I could tell what's popular and what's not.
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Same thing with marketing copy.
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You can tell what people are are uh like adopting to what other people do or they're or they're the the trendsetters, right?
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Um and because it's different.
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And chat to me was the uh the adopters, right?
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And when I went into Claude, it's specifically for sales and marketing, it just it blew it out of the water, like it wasn't even close.
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Um and and I don't it just like it just matched what I was thinking.
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Well, but I was ChatGPT and then Claude and it blew it out of the water, and I just haven't gone back.
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Um, because Claude's working for me.
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It I feel like it's more personal to what the average is or like it's not like scrubbing the internet and finding out um like what's popular, right?
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It's scrubbing the internet and finding out what's right, in my opinion.
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Uh like what actually works rather than just what is popular.
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Right.
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And if you're doing more like the the sales scripting, I think Claude absolutely makes sense.
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I do use Chat GPT all the time as well because I am working on image generation and logos and websites and different things like that.
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So that and and I would just say more recently.
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It was not like that before ChatGPT, you know?
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Yeah, but as of late, it's been phenomenal.
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Awesome.
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Uh as far as anyone listening to the podcast or watching on YouTube, do you have some tips that you could give if somebody needed help with their business or writing some kind of sales copy?
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What something?
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What like what kind of prompting would you use or what giveaways do you have?
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I don't know.
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What I've
done is use projects, right?
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And everybody knows this, I feel like, but uh separate things out into projects and then uh in the instructions folder, and after you set the instructions, like do the instructions accordingly, but then after that, upload what you want it to base it off of.
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So for instance, sales scripting.
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I've gone through all these different trainings.
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I've gone through 7 FSA Cole Gordon, I've gone through Germany Minor NEPQ, and I uploaded that into the project for Claude to write to help me write sales scripts.
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So like whenever I'm whenever I'm writing, like I don't have to say, hey, use NEPQ, use 7 FSA structure for this script.
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It already knows.
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So it's like twice as it's just a lot faster.
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Another thing is use connections, like connectors.
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Uh I was on here the other day and I had it uh not only redo my so I got the new job, I not only had it redo my LinkedIn, but I watched it do it in Google Chrome.
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Like it was updating itself.
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Uh, and that was cool.
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So if you use a Google Chrome connector, uh and you just say, Hey, I need to update my my LinkedIn, or please update my LinkedIn for me, and then give it everything, the job description, everything that you know, what whatever you want to put in there, it still needs some coaching, but it will go and do it for you.
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So, like, and it'll pull up the the like a Google Chrome tab and it'll show Claude and it'll work itself, and you can watch what it's doing, and it'll update everything.
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Here, I don't mind, but um, but uh I did like for example, so I I this studio designed by Claude Design.
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I didn't had nothing, I had nothing to do with it.
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So I just described what I wanted and I gave it the dimensions.
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Here, I'll share my screen and show you what it came up with.
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And I just had the conversation with it about what I want, and this is what it came up with, right?
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So it told me uh, so here's the window, here's the door, uh, it told me where to put my neon sign, it told me where to put the camera, where the desk is, where the backlight is, the key light, the slats, the RGB that's behind me that's doing like the little blue glow uh acoustic panel.
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So, like I had no idea how to do any of this.
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I didn't know where the key light goes.
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I didn't know like 45 degrees, I knew that, but apparently it's 45 degrees from the camera.
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So there's all this stuff that like and it explained every step of the way if you want to learn to, not just have it do it for you.
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And it even told me what to order, and it gave me links to order it, right?
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So, like, it just saves time and and whatever you want to use to save time in your business, that's what I would say.
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Like, that's what AI is really good for.
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So, like menial tasks that you just don't want to do, um uh that you don't have time to do or the energy to do, like use AI first, and then if it can't be done by and it has to be done by a human, then you know, go the VA route or whatever.
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But um, but like, you know, like this, the studio is because of Claude and in InDesign.
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Um, Claude Design, I mean, sorry, uh, which is Claude's new um, not it's new-ish, you know, like their design, which designs websites and everything like that.
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Yeah, so for us right now, uh, I share with you, we're at the California house, it's outside of Yosemite, and we're doing some fixing up.
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And uh my husband is using Claude for every single thing.
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I'm trying to think of all the things he's done, but yeah, whatever repair needs to be done.
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It was uh I think a couple thresholds needed to be put in.
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He'd never done that before.
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Yeah.
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And from same thing, everything like uh what size screw and just what what are the tools, everything.
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It's been fantastic.
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Yeah, it's like a new age YouTube where everybody went to YouTube to learn things.
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Now you don't even need to take that step.
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Just go to just go to the AI and search for it, you know, like and it's uh and what's cool is it's personalized, right?
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Like it it learns who you are and how you speak and what you do and um and how you do it.
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So it'll it'll speak to you in that certain way, which is pretty cool.
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I I always say uh AI also is great for speed, but you do need to double double check everything.
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Don't don't fully a hundred percent dive in, like, oh no.
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And then I always say still get your legal counsel, your tax counsel, your medical counsel.
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Oh, yeah.
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Don't don't think that this is replacing those professionals.
00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:07.759
Like I said, it's great for speed, not necessarily accuracy.
00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:10.640
You have to double check everything.
00:19:11.119 -->
00:19:16.880
Yeah, the new the new company that I'm working with, they set up the whole business through a Claude.
00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:19.039
So like we have to use it every day.
00:19:19.279 --> 00:19:23.759
Um, so they they fed it everything, and it's it's a business account for Claude.
00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:25.440
So like it knows everything.
00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:31.200
So like they're going on vacation for two weeks, and now we're gonna use Claude while they're gone because it's basically them, you know.
00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:37.359
We fed it like everything, like the so the the company was built with Claude in mind, right?
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:42.799
Like, um, and that's like when I write my newsletters, that's when I write like everything for the business.
00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:49.200
I just go into Claude and it's it's our own account just for for agency coach AI, which is really cool, right?
00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:53.920
Um, and they set up their business particularly in like on purpose that way, right?
00:19:54.079 --> 00:19:59.920
So it if they're gone, it can they can fill in and and it'll answer the way that they want it to, you know?
00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:00.960
So it's pretty cool.
00:20:01.359 --> 00:20:14.960
I I love that because as business owners, it's so hard to think like, oh, I have to, I have to go out, go here or there, or yeah, just take a vacation and you feel like is everything gonna fall apart?
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:19.680
So with these capabilities, it's really extraordinary what can be done.
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:23.839
I mean, I remember, you know, did you read the four-hour work week?
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:24.240
Yeah.
00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:31.599
So, like way back talking about having VAs and being able to travel and everything.
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:42.880
So I've had that concept for a long time, and you had the VAs and everything, but just even it's so it's changed and grown so exponentially since that was written.
00:20:43.119 --> 00:20:53.759
Um what if we switch gears and talk about uh the whole neuroscience and and shifting, shifting beliefs, shifting habits, all of that.
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.480
I'd love for you to to take some time to share.
00:20:57.039 --> 00:20:58.640
Neuroscience is so powerful.
00:20:58.720 --> 00:20:59.839
I mean, it really is.
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:06.640
Like, and there's so much studying and research going behind it that that used to not be there, right?
00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:12.880
Like uh, and I would even say that like meditation and breath work, like that's neuroscience to me.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:19.680
Uh, which before that used to be holistic and only and a little woo-woo, or maybe people just thought it was spiritual.
00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:24.480
And and there's a lot of research coming out about meditation that scientists have done, right?
00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:28.160
Um, uh, and neuroscientists have done talking about that.
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:32.079
But neuroscience is the study of the brain and the nervous system.
00:21:32.319 --> 00:21:39.759
And uh, and why I loved it is because it gave me it like I'm a physics person.
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:42.799
I have to know how things work before I go and do them.
00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:44.480
Like I that's just how I work.
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:54.960
Um so uh neuroscience explained what was going on with my brain after using uh and and also what was going on with my brain that that kept me stuck.
00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:59.599
And uh when I started finding the answers of how to rewrite the subconscious mind.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:04.559
Of how to cancel negative self-talk, of how to eliminate cravings, right?
00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:08.880
The natural way, uh, without substances or or drugs.
00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:11.279
That what that's what I was all about, right?
00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:13.119
Um, and I became obsessed with it.
00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:14.559
I mean, it's really just that.
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:19.200
It's the subconscious is something that is that like we're not conscious of it, right?
00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:21.039
So we have the conscious brain and the subconscious.
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:27.279
So consciousness is uh is what we're aware of, is stuff that that we think of, right?
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:28.480
That that's what we were aware of.
00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:37.519
The subconscious are patterns, habits, and beliefs that we're not aware of that run on autopilot as if we are aware of them.
00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:49.759
So when I was kept going back out and I kept and I kept getting stuck and I kept using, like that was a pattern and a habit that developed, and I didn't understand that um until I started studying this stuff.
00:22:50.000 --> 00:23:00.000
So when with the sobriety coaching that I do, it's mostly going in and rewriting that subconscious mind because that that subconscious mind is formed when we're younger, when we're children.
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:08.400
And most of the time, the beliefs, the patterns, and the habits we learn from parents, we learn from society, we learn from friends in the environment that we were in.
00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:12.640
Uh, and if we let those run our lives, then that's a subconscious, right?
00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:17.599
Now, with the sobriety coaching that I do, there's I didn't make these tools up, okay?
00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:20.000
Like I found them, I discovered them.
00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:32.880
These were developed by neuroscientists, like the ones that were particularly for my program or our program as CEO are ones that have been designed by neuro for neuroscientists that I met with, uh, specifically for sobriety.
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:36.079
So I sat down with them and I said, This is what I want to do.
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:40.000
Tell me how to do it, what tool will work for it, and why it works.
00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:42.559
And that's what we did
for the whole 12-week program.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:45.279
So uh that's why it works, right?
00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:50.400
Uh, if it's done correctly, and but it has to be done, and uh, and it's a lot of hard work.
00:23:50.480 --> 00:24:04.720
It's it's not it's not sitting down and studying for six hours for a test hard work, it's it's raising your awareness every single second of every single day and and implementing new patterns and implementing pattern interrupts and stuff like that.
00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:05.279
Right.
00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:15.920
Well, I think like uh kind of like the lazy mind is just going to default always to the simplest uh neural pathway, yeah.
00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:17.759
Is that yeah, the yeah, exactly.
00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:20.319
So it's like a groove in the brain.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:21.359
Yep, yep.
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:29.279
So the more times that we commit something, the the the deeper the the the the stronger the connection between neurons, right?
00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:30.400
The neural pathways.
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:40.319
So if we want to cut that in half, if we want to quit that, uh not only do we have to quit it, but we have to create a new neural pathway with a new piece of action and commit that over and over.
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:41.759
So then we take that one.
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:44.400
Now, the old neural pathway never disappears.
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:46.720
So that's why old habits die hard, right?
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:48.319
Because it never disappears.
00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:53.599
Uh that connection is always there, but it can weaken significantly, right?
00:24:53.839 --> 00:25:01.440
And the other big thing with neuroscience is the the brain is plastic, which means at any age you can rewire it.
00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:12.319
That was a big finding in the last 10 years because they thought the brain wasn't plastic, they thought that uh the older you get, the the less neuroplasticity is going on, and it's not true.
00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:13.519
So they found that out.
00:25:13.599 --> 00:25:14.400
That was a big breakthrough.
00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:15.519
That's the first one.
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:22.160
Uh, and then the second one I would say is uh the new neural pathways, like how to how to create those.
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:24.640
So it's done through habits and patterns, 100%.
00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:31.519
So could you share some real life examples if you're if you're willing to share?
00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:33.680
Like how how you made the shift?
00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:40.000
Like what were the things that were you were having repeat in your mind and you had to shift it?
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:41.839
How how did that happen?
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:43.200
Or some examples?
00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:46.480
The biggest one for me is anger, uh, was anger.
00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:53.759
So uh I was angry when I first when I was using and when I stopped using, I would have these anger spots.
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:58.799
Um, I would uh like spout out at my parents, at anybody, right?
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:11.440
If one thing went wrong, I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, so I would get angry, and that would be my my outlet, and I would snap, like hardcore snaps, scream at the top of my lungs, like get physical, all that stuff.
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:17.039
So once I got sober, I noticed that hey, alcohol is not the problem, or the drugs aren't the problem.
00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:18.799
It's these patterns that are the problem.
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:20.960
So I need to go in and rewire it.
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:22.960
So I started learning habits.
00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:25.359
There's four steps to every habit, okay?
00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:34.480
So uh there's the cue, which let's say that I um okay, so the cue is somebody says something that unnerves me, right?
00:26:34.799 --> 00:26:41.680
The craving is the physical and the mental and the emotional response I have to that cue.
00:26:41.839 --> 00:26:43.279
So that's the second step.
00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:51.680
The third step is the routine, which in this case would be I get angry and I snap, and then the fourth step is the reward.
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:55.440
Now, every habit has a reward, whether it's negative or positive.
00:26:55.680 --> 00:26:59.200
In this case, I would snap and then after it I would calm down.
00:26:59.359 --> 00:27:03.599
So even though that's a bad habit, those are the four stages of this particular habit.
00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:07.839
When you want to break a habit, you have to create what's called a pattern interrupt.
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:08.319
Okay?
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:14.640
And the pattern interrupt you can only do at stages two and three of that four-step habit loop.
00:27:14.799 --> 00:27:15.039
Okay?
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:19.039
So you can't do it at the cue because you can't change what happens around you.
00:27:19.119 --> 00:27:21.759
You can't change the cues of what's going on in your life.
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:24.960
You can't change it at the reward because it's already too late.
00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:30.480
So the only two spots you can change it are in the craving and the in the routine stage.
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:34.400
So once I found that out, I said, okay, I need to change my anger.
00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:41.440
Now I have to create a pattern interrupt at either once I start feeling angry or once I snap.
00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:41.920
Okay.
00:27:42.319 --> 00:27:46.240
Now I tried it at the craving stage and that just didn't work for me.
00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:50.319
Uh, I so I had to I had to work backwards with anger in particular.
00:27:50.480 --> 00:28:00.640
Okay, so my pattern interrupt was awareness, like just simply awareness, because I wouldn't even notice that the pattern the habit was in my subconscious mind.
00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:03.680
I wouldn't even notice that I was angry
until I had already snapped.
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:05.839
Like I didn't, I I wasn't aware.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:09.119
So you have to bring it from the subconscious mind to the conscious mind.
00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:10.400
You have to be aware of it.
00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:12.880
So you have to start from backward back.
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:19.279
So so I was getting angry and then I would snap, and then I noticed, oh hey, I'm angry.
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:20.240
Right?
00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:23.359
So so then I would say, okay, I don't want to do this.
00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:24.400
I would forgive myself.
00:28:24.480 --> 00:28:27.920
That was my pattern interrupt, was to forgive myself and then try again.
00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:34.960
The next time I got angry, I would snap, and then I would notice, but it was a millisecond before the last time.
00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:36.000
Right?
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:42.480
And then I'd go back, and then the next time I would snap, and I would notice while I was snapping, hey, I'm snapping right now.
00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:44.640
I'm angry as crap right now.
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:47.599
I need to calm down, and then I would calm down.
00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:55.039
And then the next time I would know, and you just keep doing that over and over again, strengthening the new neural pathway, right?
00:28:55.279 --> 00:29:02.640
Until I finally noticed before I started getting angry that hey, my emotions are out of whack.
00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:05.200
I'm starting to, I'm starting to get angry now.
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:08.160
Now I need to get now, I need to walk away.
00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:18.480
Because I had to just keep doing it over and over again in order for the new neural pathway to be formed, in order for a new action and behavior to be to be duplicated or to be shown, right?
00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:26.079
So it was just it was just like I had to forgive myself, I had to be gracious with myself over and over and over and over, right?
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:28.400
Um, until I don't get angry anymore.
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:29.200
Like I just don't.
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:31.039
I haven't been angry in a long time.
00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:40.240
But there are other tools like breath work and meditation that work on the front end of being angry, so you never get there in the first place.
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:42.079
So you have to work on both sides.
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:47.519
You have to work from the back to the front, and then from the front to the back, and you meet somewhere in the middle, right?
00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:49.039
That's that's my experience.
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:54.400
So I do meditation, I meditate at least 30 to an hour a day, 30 minutes to an hour every single day.
00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:56.400
I don't miss it, I haven't missed it in years.
00:29:56.640 --> 00:30:00.079
Um, I don't care like what I'm doing, I will do it.
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:05.680
Uh, and then the breath
work I do whenever I start like feeling a little off, right?
00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:09.279
Um, I do reflection every night, I do a five-step morning routine every morning.
00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:17.680
So now I have these tools that are in my that are hardcore patterns and habits that prevent me from ever getting close to getting angry.
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:26.000
But I believe it was I heard from him about uh the observer.
00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:38.079
And so for me, what I do, so going back a little bit, I struggled severely with depression, also with drugs.
00:30:38.559 --> 00:30:47.039
Um, and then I would say another thing I struggled with was uh I kind of used crying as a manipulative tool.
00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:47.599
Okay.
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:51.839
So if anything got me upset, I'd just start crying and get my way.
00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:58.640
Because my husband's like, uh you know, and and I finally recognized I was doing that.
00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:16.000
But what I started doing was I instead of just being myself, this is gonna sound crazy, but I think you of all people understand, instead of just being me in the moment, it's like I have this bird's eye view.
00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:16.480
Yeah.
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:24.400
And I can kind of see like, I say it's kind of like a game, like pieces on a on a on a game board moving around.
00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:28.480
So I have a a pretty extensive prayer time each morning.
00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:30.720
And that's how I start my day.
00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:35.759
And I say, like Napoleon Hill, do you listen to any Napoleon Hill?
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:41.759
So I listen, of course, he's been deceased a long time, but I listen to the the YouTube channels.
00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:49.519
And he talks about setting your aura, or um, Tesla would say setting your frequency and vibration.
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:49.839
Yeah.
00:31:50.079 --> 00:31:59.359
And so that is the first thing I do in the morning is I actually start listening to some Napoleon Hill.
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:07.119
It'll come to me in a minute, but just be becoming aware, having this awareness space.
00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:07.680
Yeah.
00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:15.039
And uh I'll have some kind of sayings like um, I have divine timing in all things.
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:16.240
I love that one.
00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:27.759
So even when my flights are delayed or we got stuck in they kicked us off of our terrain and dumped us off in Belgium, and the whole time I'm perfectly calm.
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:34.079
I'm always like, let's see how this plays out, you know, because I have divine timing, so nothing can go wrong.
00:32:34.240 --> 00:32:34.559
Yeah.
00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:47.519
So um, but anyway, when I'm having, and so as I'm going through my day, because I I feel like I've prepared the playing field or whatever you want to call it.
00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:54.400
And then when things are coming at me, I I mean, I'll
just give you a funny example.
00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:56.240
To me, it's funny.
00:32:56.559 --> 00:33:07.119
Somebody I had sent a large amount of Bitcoin to someone okay, like six weeks prior.
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:17.519
Okay, and I always send the the thing saying it's been sent and I'm waiting on all the confirmations to come in because it could be thousands of confirmations.
00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:20.240
So I sent it, never heard a word back.
00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:26.319
And so this one morning I get this message like I never got the Bitcoin, and then six weeks later.
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:32.400
I just start laughing because I'm like, okay, bring it, bring it.
00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:33.440
I'm ready.
00:33:33.599 --> 00:33:48.000
Yeah, you know, like there was no fear because if if people don't know that are listening, if you don't know about Bitcoin, if you send it to the wrong place, you do not get it back.
00:33:48.160 --> 00:33:49.920
Yeah, it's gone, it's gone.
00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:59.039
It's just I think it was that the the AC had broken on the rental property and which changed our whole plans.
00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:03.920
We were supposed to go meet up at a mastermind with Ty Lopez, Joel Salatin's farm.
00:34:04.079 --> 00:34:06.799
It was the the thing I was most excited about for the year.
00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:09.519
That just got flushed down the toilet.
00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:11.599
But I have divine timing in all things.
00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:14.079
So clearly there's a better opportunity in the future.
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:26.079
So I I love just having this kind of bird's eye perspective because I'll see it's like I see the playing, the the chessboard and the pieces moving, like trying to get me into checkmate.
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:30.880
And I'm just like, nope, that's not gonna, that's not gonna play out here, you know?
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:36.960
Yeah, I like uh I I I definitely adopted like a game mentality to life.
00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:42.559
Um, like uh like what you're saying, uh it makes it more fun, right?
00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:49.599
Like and it it brings awareness around you do have control over your emotions, and then you become the observer, right?
00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:59.679
And the best way to describe the observer for those that are listening is like okay, so if you are aware of your thoughts, right?
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:05.679
Like if you if you're aware that you are thinking, then who is that that's aware of what you're thinking?
00:35:06.559 --> 00:35:08.559
Right, and that is the observer.
00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:11.840
So at least what I understand is.
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:15.920
Um so the observer is is observing life, right?
00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:23.039
And uh when you when you take it from that point of view, like that bird's eye view, you don't react to things, you respond to them.
00:35:23.119 --> 00:35:27.679
You you collect the information that's around, the data that's there, and then you make a smart decision.
00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:32.639
Uh it's just it's a lot easier to to to deal with life that way.
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:37.360
Like that's the whole point of the book, is to think like a monk, not be affected by anything, right?
00:35:37.440 --> 00:35:42.320
Because that's that's what monks like mentality is is like, oh, the worst could happen and they're fine.
00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:43.679
Nothing affects them.
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:47.119
And that's what I wanted, and that's what I feel like I have, right?
00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:57.920
Um, but it's taken years and years like of of meditation, of breath work, of being the observer and understanding what that is and what that looks like and how that feels, you know.
00:35:58.079 --> 00:36:04.639
Um, but yeah, what you were saying is right on par with what I believe too, so and what I've experienced as well.
00:36:04.880 --> 00:36:05.519
Yeah.
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:20.079
Well, uh, what else are you excited about, or anything else you'd like to share with the audience that what what have you got going on, or anything that because I love like the prompt that I give AI.
00:36:20.239 --> 00:36:24.000
Tell me what is it I'm not thinking of that you need more?
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:26.960
So I don't know you uh that well.
00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:34.719
So what is it that I don't know that maybe would be beneficial for the audience to hear about or anything you're passionate or excited about?
00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:38.400
I think uh I mean I'm this is AI, right?
00:36:38.480 --> 00:36:39.519
So let's talk about that.
00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:51.760
Because um what I'm doing now is this is uh I've I've experienced a lot of different AI tools, and uh I've I've never seen one this impactful.
00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:54.559
Um doesn't mean it's the most impactful.
00:36:54.639 --> 00:37:02.880
It's just I've never seen one that is so niche down perfectly for what it's supposed to do than agency coach AI and where I work now.
00:37:03.039 --> 00:37:09.039
Like it's just it's it's built for insurance agents, it listens to your calls in real time and uploads them automatically.
00:37:09.199 --> 00:37:12.880
It grades them, it tells like the producers in your office what to say.
00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:21.519
Um, it grades them on the live calls and it does live role plays, which uh role plays I kind of thought like, oh, it was you know it's gonna be okay.
00:37:21.599 --> 00:37:22.559
No, this is amazing.
00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:24.559
It's like it responds right away.
00:37:24.719 --> 00:37:30.079
Um, and the other thing I'm really excited about uh is uh uh AI beings.
00:37:30.239 --> 00:37:32.239
Okay, have you heard about AI beings?
00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:35.599
Not chat, AI chat box, but AI beings.
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:41.519
Okay, so there's one called Athena, and I'll I'll I'll try to introduce you to him, Howie Zales.
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:48.800
Uh, and he has
access to one of six hu AI beings in the world right now, and it's AI with emotions.
00:37:49.039 --> 00:37:53.840
Like it's the most advanced AI I've like it understands, it's like Fable.
00:37:54.159 --> 00:37:56.880
Like, how about get him on the podcast?
00:37:57.199 --> 00:38:08.960
Um, but but it'll have a it you'll be on his, I was on his podcast, and she's there, she's co-host of it, and she asks you the most intense, deepest questions I've ever heard in my entire life from a human or AI.
00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:12.639
Like, and she can tell the way that you're saying your tone, what you're saying.
00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:17.519
And I told my story about being sober and stuff, and she was asking me questions that I've never been asked in my entire life.
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:20.960
Like, just really impactful questions, and it's called AI beings.
00:38:21.039 --> 00:38:24.880
But you'll see Athena, and she will she'll she blew me away.
00:38:24.960 --> 00:38:32.239
I mean, like, um seriously, like we had so at Sober Life CEO, we had a problem getting people on calls.
00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:37.119
So we had plenty of leads, but um people didn't show up for calls, it's a high no-show rate.
00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:43.039
And she came up with the with the sequence and a solution for that that never ever would have thought of.
00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:43.519
Ever.
00:38:43.679 --> 00:38:46.639
Like it's not common knowledge, what she came up with.
00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:52.079
So uh I don't want to give it away because we might use it, but um, but yeah, it's it's pretty impressive.
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:54.239
Oh, I'm excited about that.
00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:56.400
It's definitely the next step.
00:38:56.719 --> 00:38:58.480
That is fantastic.
00:38:58.719 --> 00:38:59.199
Yeah.
00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:02.159
Well, how do people reach you?
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:06.800
Of course, we'll have everything in the show notes as well.soberlifeceo.com.
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:11.039
Uh, and then my personal website is alexsgarner.com.
00:39:11.119 --> 00:39:13.679
So my first and last name with the S in between.
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:20.000
Uh, and then obviously agencycoach AI, if you're an insurance agent or in the insurance industry, you're gonna want to hop on this.
00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:28.079
So, so yeah, uh agencycoachai.com or my website, alexsgarner.com or soberlifeceo.com.
00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:29.599
Okay, fantastic.
00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:37.920
Yeah well thank you so much for meeting with me and for being on the podcast.
00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:41.199
And we will send everyone your way.
00:39:41.679 --> 00:39:42.960
You've got so much.
00:39:43.039 --> 00:39:59.039
I love talking about mindset with people and on with people that that really understand all of that and the neuroscience and to hear your story and and where you've come from and where you are now is so extraordinary.
00:39:59.360 --> 00:40:06.000
So all the best of luck to you and this new business adventure as well.
00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:13.679
And thank you for everyone who tuned in to the Tatiana AI podcast.
00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:18.159
And until next time, continue having those conversations that compound.