สำเนาบทสนทนา 🔗
WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:05.339
Greetings. We offer these podcasts freely and your support really
2
00:00:05.379 --> 00:00:29.570
makes a difference. To make a donation, please visit tarabrach.com. Namaste. Welcome, friends.
3
00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:37.789
I am back recently from holiday with family, including my grandchildren,
4
00:00:37.869 --> 00:00:42.570
my two granddaughters, who happen to both believe in fairies.
5
00:00:43.509 --> 00:00:46.789
And it reminded me of the story of a woman
6
00:00:46.829 --> 00:00:50.979
who describes her seven-year-old saying to her, are you the
7
00:00:51.090 --> 00:00:55.820
tooth fairy? And it was after another tooth had fallen out.
8
00:00:55.899 --> 00:00:58.100
And the woman says, you know, I wasn't sure whether
9
00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:01.679
or not to end this magical part of childhood, but
10
00:01:01.719 --> 00:01:04.739
since she asked, I thought, yeah, this is time. So
11
00:01:04.780 --> 00:01:07.159
I let her know she was right, and she seemed
12
00:01:07.239 --> 00:01:12.439
to handle the information in a mature way. Several hours later,
13
00:01:12.879 --> 00:01:15.819
she took my hands in hers and said, Mama, so
14
00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:17.760
what I want to know is, how do you get
15
00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:24.150
into the other kids' houses? And I love that because,
16
00:01:24.170 --> 00:01:27.170
you know, I found for myself and many find this
17
00:01:27.230 --> 00:01:30.150
one of the gifts of being with children and for me,
18
00:01:30.349 --> 00:01:35.810
my grands, it's just so much easier to see spirit,
19
00:01:36.090 --> 00:01:41.879
you know, see the wonder, the light, the aliveness that
20
00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:45.620
really lives through them. I mean, their egos and personalities
21
00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:49.959
are totally there, but they're just not so solid, that
22
00:01:50.099 --> 00:01:57.549
inner purity. shines through. So of course when that happens,
23
00:01:57.650 --> 00:02:01.750
when we really see so directly this basic goodness, the
24
00:02:01.790 --> 00:02:06.769
loving flows so strong, so deep, so true. So I
25
00:02:06.829 --> 00:02:10.659
returned and I wanted to share this talk from the archives.
26
00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:14.439
I did it a few years back. It's called Namaste,
27
00:02:14.699 --> 00:02:21.620
which is namaste, seeing each other's light. And if we're
28
00:02:21.639 --> 00:02:26.719
honest with ourselves in daily life, we see each other
29
00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:30.379
more through this kind of egoic lens. We see the coverings,
30
00:02:30.969 --> 00:02:33.830
the things about them that draws or that we don't like.
31
00:02:34.729 --> 00:02:40.830
We see personality and intelligence or failures or successes, body,
32
00:02:41.330 --> 00:02:48.729
level of attractiveness. To perceive really essence, the light or
33
00:02:48.789 --> 00:02:51.629
spirit of a being, it takes deepening presence in a
34
00:02:51.669 --> 00:02:58.189
very intentional way. It takes on purpose looking towards what's
35
00:02:58.629 --> 00:03:04.469
behind the coverings, what's more, that which is more formless
36
00:03:04.550 --> 00:03:10.110
or subtle or essential. So this talk explores how we
37
00:03:10.150 --> 00:03:13.169
do this. We look at how our habitual ways of
38
00:03:13.629 --> 00:03:19.789
perceiving each other really do limit intimacy, connection, awakening. And
39
00:03:19.849 --> 00:03:23.520
then we look at the power and beauty of what
40
00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:26.520
happens when we see more deeply what's been hidden or
41
00:03:26.539 --> 00:03:30.240
invisible to us in the past. You know, seeing through
42
00:03:30.340 --> 00:03:37.229
to the buried innocence, the aliveness, the light. So it
43
00:03:37.270 --> 00:03:42.469
feels like a time, a practice that's really crucial to
44
00:03:43.639 --> 00:03:46.680
how our world is right now, deepening attention in this way,
45
00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:51.539
it serves our world and it's a real gift to
46
00:03:51.639 --> 00:03:58.719
our own hearts. Okay friends, a bow of love to
47
00:03:58.780 --> 00:04:05.620
each of you. You know, I've been putting my palms
48
00:04:05.659 --> 00:04:09.409
together and bowing now for about, I think about 45 years.
49
00:04:11.729 --> 00:04:17.009
ever since I first started teaching yoga. And namaste, it's
50
00:04:17.110 --> 00:04:21.050
derived from Sanskrit, it's an expression of reverence. And it's
51
00:04:21.110 --> 00:04:26.420
often translated that the light in me bows to the
52
00:04:26.449 --> 00:04:30.439
light in you. And I love this. I often think
53
00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:34.639
about how in the West, we have a handshake and
54
00:04:34.680 --> 00:04:38.019
some say it came from showing that we weren't carrying
55
00:04:38.060 --> 00:04:41.540
a weapon. And then in the East, I see the
56
00:04:41.579 --> 00:04:44.850
divine in you, I see the sacred in you. It's
57
00:04:44.899 --> 00:04:49.199
a tad of a different flavor. Now as you know
58
00:04:49.250 --> 00:04:52.209
there's a growing number of meditation cartoons and one I
59
00:04:52.269 --> 00:04:55.529
saw just a day or two ago, a woman's meditating
60
00:04:55.569 --> 00:04:59.370
and she's got a really angry expression and her thought
61
00:04:59.430 --> 00:05:03.930
bubble is saying, the light in me acknowledges the darkness
62
00:05:04.189 --> 00:05:09.509
in you. Many, many ways our psyche can tweak things,
63
00:05:09.610 --> 00:05:14.560
I know. Now, of course, the ritual of the namaste greeting,
64
00:05:14.610 --> 00:05:16.829
which is done all over the East, it can be
65
00:05:16.870 --> 00:05:22.730
done in a very perfunctory, mechanical way, and many in
66
00:05:22.829 --> 00:05:26.790
Asia describe it as really being a casual hello or goodbye.
67
00:05:27.939 --> 00:05:33.779
But consider for a moment the power of this ritual
68
00:05:34.060 --> 00:05:36.939
of encounter if we really do it with presence and heart.
Load full transcript
69
00:05:37.839 --> 00:05:40.110
You know, if here we are and Let's say there's
70
00:05:40.149 --> 00:05:43.899
two of us and we're really, you know, feeling ourselves
71
00:05:43.980 --> 00:05:48.560
right here and facing each other and very sincerely, you know,
72
00:05:48.579 --> 00:05:52.560
putting our hands together, this gesture of honoring, bowing our head,
73
00:05:52.579 --> 00:05:58.250
you know, sensing the purity, the light, the goodness that's
74
00:05:58.310 --> 00:06:02.529
living through each other, sensing that we're being received in
75
00:06:02.589 --> 00:06:08.160
that way. Wow. I mean, it's... Just imagine. And if
76
00:06:08.199 --> 00:06:11.439
we think of it that if more and more of
77
00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:16.500
us took to heart this ritual, the essence of this ritual,
78
00:06:16.519 --> 00:06:21.889
if we actually practiced in encounters pausing and really honoring
79
00:06:21.910 --> 00:06:26.569
the spirit shining through each other, how that would wake
80
00:06:26.649 --> 00:06:30.589
up our own hearts and each other's, it's really, I
81
00:06:30.629 --> 00:06:33.100
think of it in terms of the consciousness of the planet.
82
00:06:34.620 --> 00:06:38.230
Especially now, because I think Namaste is spreading in a
83
00:06:38.290 --> 00:06:45.139
certain way. Millions are taking yoga classes or meditation gatherings,
84
00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:49.259
it's happening. I mean, imagine if it really started spreading
85
00:06:49.300 --> 00:06:55.790
more collectively, this seeing past the mask or the affiliations,
86
00:06:56.790 --> 00:07:03.250
remembering our shared being. And it may sound idealistic, given
87
00:07:03.949 --> 00:07:09.649
how divided our world is, But if we start where
88
00:07:09.670 --> 00:07:13.300
it flows most easily, we can find our way to
89
00:07:13.339 --> 00:07:17.279
a more inclusive heart. This talk right now and the
90
00:07:17.319 --> 00:07:23.079
reflections we'll do really are about the potential of namaste.
91
00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:29.089
It's the essence of namaste, really learning to see the
92
00:07:29.170 --> 00:07:33.089
truth of who we are. Learning to feel a sense
93
00:07:33.970 --> 00:07:37.870
of reverence for the spirit that lives through all of life.
94
00:07:39.910 --> 00:07:44.709
And I often think about the most radical and profound
95
00:07:44.930 --> 00:07:48.689
teachings of Buddhism and all the spiritual paths, you know,
96
00:07:48.709 --> 00:07:52.529
the ground of it is that the light of awareness
97
00:07:54.069 --> 00:07:56.850
and its expression as love or compassion, that light of
98
00:07:56.870 --> 00:08:02.069
awareness is our shared essence. It's like the sun, it's
99
00:08:02.230 --> 00:08:06.560
always here even when clouds of emotion block it. It's
100
00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:13.319
always here. And these same paths describe the suffering when
101
00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:15.819
we live in a way that is totally cut off
102
00:08:15.879 --> 00:08:19.149
from that, from that sense of our essence, when we're
103
00:08:19.170 --> 00:08:24.069
in that kind of a trance and we're more living
104
00:08:24.089 --> 00:08:29.470
in a very limited sense of a self. And when
105
00:08:29.509 --> 00:08:33.600
we're in that, that's the lens we see others through.
106
00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:39.440
So really, it's the suffering of moving through our days
107
00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:44.049
cut off from a sense of the sacred. This is
108
00:08:44.210 --> 00:08:49.830
how Rumi puts it. He says, whatever comes into being
109
00:08:50.950 --> 00:08:57.350
gets lost in being, drunkenly forgetting its way home. I
110
00:08:57.409 --> 00:09:02.789
really love that. Whatever comes into being gets lost in being,
111
00:09:03.330 --> 00:09:10.389
drunkenly forgetting its way home. One of my favorite illustrative stories,
112
00:09:11.370 --> 00:09:13.330
which if you've been with me you might have heard,
113
00:09:13.350 --> 00:09:17.480
it came from when my son was in elementary school, actually,
114
00:09:17.559 --> 00:09:21.100
and there were these art classes and the children would
115
00:09:21.139 --> 00:09:24.360
divide up into groups of, be divided into tables where,
116
00:09:24.379 --> 00:09:26.779
you know, groups of four, and the teacher would just
117
00:09:26.840 --> 00:09:34.700
move around and look at what the energetically into it.
118
00:09:35.009 --> 00:09:38.039
And the teacher was watching from behind her and she
119
00:09:38.120 --> 00:09:40.759
asked her what she was drawing and the little girl said,
120
00:09:41.220 --> 00:09:45.980
I'm drawing God. And the teacher kind of chuckled and said, well, hon,
121
00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:51.139
no one knows what God looks like. Without skipping a beat,
122
00:09:51.179 --> 00:09:54.129
without even looking up, she said, they will in a moment.
123
00:09:56.730 --> 00:10:01.490
And I've always loved that. You know, Jono many of
124
00:10:01.529 --> 00:10:08.879
you know as a wonderful philosopher, poet, he says, what
125
00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:12.559
have we done with our wildness? He talks about the
126
00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:17.379
wildness of spirit of God. He says, we're so busy
127
00:10:17.960 --> 00:10:22.539
managing our life that we forget this great mystery we're
128
00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:32.179
involved with. So we do forget, you know, I think
129
00:10:32.250 --> 00:10:38.049
of spiritual life as forgetting and remembering. And we remember
130
00:10:38.149 --> 00:10:44.730
because there is very deep within each of us something
131
00:10:44.769 --> 00:10:48.639
that keeps calling us, some yearning, to reconnect with the
132
00:10:48.700 --> 00:10:54.440
sacredness that's here, to reconnect with a pure heart, reconnect
133
00:10:54.519 --> 00:10:59.120
with being awake. And it dwells within all of us.
134
00:11:02.129 --> 00:11:07.870
One of my friends and beloved colleagues, Sylvia Borstein, describes
135
00:11:07.929 --> 00:11:10.789
a man, his name's Phil, he's a Buddhist practitioner in
136
00:11:10.850 --> 00:11:16.539
New York, and he was being mugged at gunpoint And
137
00:11:16.580 --> 00:11:20.379
he had been working with the loving-kindness practice for a year,
138
00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:25.799
you know, kind of namaste, seeing the goodness. So one
139
00:11:25.940 --> 00:11:29.220
evening on a small side street in Soho, a really
140
00:11:29.340 --> 00:11:34.919
disheveled man with a scraggly beard, dirty hair, costed Phil
141
00:11:35.460 --> 00:11:39.820
demanding money. And Phil gave him $ 600 he had carried
142
00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:42.830
in his wallet. And the mugger shook his gun and
143
00:11:42.870 --> 00:11:47.360
demanded more. And stalling for time, Phil handed him credit cards,
144
00:11:47.980 --> 00:11:51.940
his whole wallet. Looking dazed, maybe high on some drug,
145
00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:55.720
the mugger said, I'm going to shoot you. And Phil said, no, no, no, wait.
146
00:11:55.820 --> 00:11:59.620
Here's my watch. It's a really good one. So disoriented,
147
00:11:59.659 --> 00:12:01.820
the mugger took the watch and waved the gun again
148
00:12:01.879 --> 00:12:05.519
and said, I'm going to shoot you. And somehow Phil
149
00:12:05.539 --> 00:12:10.440
managed to look at him with genuine care and say,
150
00:12:10.740 --> 00:12:13.700
you don't have to shoot me. You did really good. Look,
151
00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:19.240
You got nearly $ 700. You got credit cards, expensive watch.
152
00:12:19.740 --> 00:12:22.799
You don't have to shoot me. You did good. The
153
00:12:22.840 --> 00:12:26.490
mugger's confused. He lowers the gun slowly. I did good?
154
00:12:26.950 --> 00:12:30.990
He half-assed. You did really good. Go and tell your
155
00:12:31.029 --> 00:12:35.210
friends you did good. Dazed, the mugger wandered off, saying
156
00:12:35.269 --> 00:12:46.570
softly to himself, I did good. I did good. That
157
00:12:47.309 --> 00:12:52.129
story always touched me. Each of us, we get trapped
158
00:12:52.169 --> 00:12:55.909
by our conditioning, act in ways that are driven by
159
00:12:56.009 --> 00:13:02.879
anxiety or fear, grasping or confusion, drunkenly forgetting our way home.
160
00:13:04.159 --> 00:13:08.360
And there's a longing to trust that basic goodness, to
161
00:13:08.399 --> 00:13:14.309
live from who we intuit we really are. Okay, so
162
00:13:14.409 --> 00:13:22.090
how does the forgetting happen? And I often imagine that
163
00:13:22.149 --> 00:13:26.860
we incarnate and we're incarnating into a challenging environment, all
164
00:13:26.879 --> 00:13:32.480
of us, you know, and it's part of our natural development,
165
00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:35.539
it's part of evolution to put on a spacesuit to
166
00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:40.769
help us navigate. And our survival brain uses a spacesuit
167
00:13:40.809 --> 00:13:45.009
to detect danger and to protect and aggress where we
168
00:13:45.029 --> 00:13:48.870
need to, and our egos, you
know, scouting for what
169
00:13:48.909 --> 00:13:53.419
will nourish and enhance and meet needs. And, you know,
170
00:13:53.460 --> 00:13:56.720
the more threats, the more unmet needs, the more active
171
00:13:56.779 --> 00:14:01.259
our spacesuit. But here's what's important about this metaphor. In
172
00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:08.100
the moments when you are identified with the space suit,
173
00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:12.600
with the defending and the judging and the getting something
174
00:14:12.679 --> 00:14:18.460
and the performing, whatever it is. You're forgetting the awareness
175
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:23.929
and the love, the aliveness, the basic spirit looking through.
176
00:14:23.950 --> 00:14:28.570
You're forgetting your own true beingness and of course you'll
177
00:14:28.610 --> 00:14:33.970
be forgetting others as well. It is natural to get
178
00:14:34.289 --> 00:14:38.159
identified and to forget. That happens to all of us.
179
00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:44.740
And we have the capacity to wake up, to cultivate mindfulness,
180
00:14:45.259 --> 00:14:48.639
to see it's happening, to see, oh, okay, I was
181
00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:52.639
caught in that limbic hijack. I was in trance. Here's
182
00:14:52.679 --> 00:14:54.799
how I can notice it next time. Here's how I
183
00:14:54.840 --> 00:15:00.580
can be more present. I think one of the most
184
00:15:00.820 --> 00:15:05.120
powerful places to witness going into trance is and to
185
00:15:05.179 --> 00:15:09.419
explore waking up is in relating with each other and
186
00:15:09.460 --> 00:15:15.529
just really sense, well, how does our spacesuit self filter
187
00:15:16.450 --> 00:15:21.950
our experience of each other? And if we're witnessing, if
188
00:15:21.990 --> 00:15:25.120
we're paying attention, we'll start noticing that when we first meet,
189
00:15:25.289 --> 00:15:29.860
what's going on is that our survival brain instantly is
190
00:15:29.879 --> 00:15:35.740
scanning for difference and assessing how dangerous or safe the
191
00:15:35.799 --> 00:15:38.840
other is. That's the first scanning that goes on. It
192
00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:42.480
goes on like a flash. We notice the other's appearance
193
00:15:43.100 --> 00:15:47.860
because we are through the eons looking for difference, you know, color,
194
00:15:47.879 --> 00:15:53.299
how they dress, their face, their body, you know, how
195
00:15:53.350 --> 00:15:57.409
they speak, what they do, because we're very quickly placing
196
00:15:57.450 --> 00:16:01.549
them in a hierarchy, in a socioeconomic caste system, and
197
00:16:01.610 --> 00:16:06.740
sensing who's higher and who's lower. if it's safe enough
198
00:16:07.139 --> 00:16:11.419
and we get closer, then there's another level of witnessingness
199
00:16:11.500 --> 00:16:15.789
to notice that we often don't get much closer if
200
00:16:15.870 --> 00:16:19.090
the other is from a different part of the caste system.
201
00:16:21.210 --> 00:16:25.269
We don't
have that many close people outside our level,
202
00:16:25.350 --> 00:16:29.860
which is of course sad and something to change. But
203
00:16:29.980 --> 00:16:35.009
if we get closer, then the spacesuit self, the egoic
204
00:16:35.049 --> 00:16:40.529
spacesuit self, starts filtering other things like what we're attracted
205
00:16:40.549 --> 00:16:44.450
to or moving towards, for instance, drawn to those that
206
00:16:44.509 --> 00:16:48.909
are affirming us or those that have something to offer us,
207
00:16:48.970 --> 00:16:56.250
those that are stimulating, exciting. And we start noticing where
208
00:16:56.289 --> 00:16:59.450
we defend and move away from those who You know,
209
00:16:59.539 --> 00:17:03.429
we don't want to be around the grasping or the neediness.
210
00:17:03.529 --> 00:17:07.230
Maybe it's pulling away because of the other's judgments or
211
00:17:07.430 --> 00:17:12.910
anger or aversions, the way their insecurities express, pulling away
212
00:17:12.930 --> 00:17:17.680
because of a power differential. So we have these stories
213
00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:21.380
that we develop through our spacesuit self about who we
214
00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:24.140
are and who they are and who we are relationally.
215
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:29.009
They're behind a lot of the ways we behave. And
216
00:17:29.049 --> 00:17:32.430
they're behind the way that we continue to look at
217
00:17:32.470 --> 00:17:38.269
each other because when we're living inside the spacesuit identities,
218
00:17:39.269 --> 00:17:42.839
we don't see so deeply. We don't keep wondering about
219
00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:48.619
who the person is. Okay, an illustration of this. Two
220
00:17:48.700 --> 00:17:52.579
priests decide to go to Hawaii on vacation and they're
221
00:17:52.599 --> 00:17:55.059
going to make it a real vacation by not weren't
222
00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:58.039
anything that would identify them as clergy. So as soon
223
00:17:58.079 --> 00:18:00.519
as they land, they head out and get some outrageous
224
00:18:01.799 --> 00:18:05.259
shirts and sandals and sunglasses, you know, the whole beach get-up.
225
00:18:06.279 --> 00:18:08.700
Next morning, they're on the beach dressed in their tourist
226
00:18:08.809 --> 00:18:13.630
garb and sitting on beach chairs enjoying the sunshine and
227
00:18:13.670 --> 00:18:16.369
seeing everyone a lovely-looking young woman in a bikini comes
228
00:18:16.430 --> 00:18:20.009
walking straight towards them and they couldn't help but stare
229
00:18:20.069 --> 00:18:23.470
and notice. And the woman passes them, she smiles and
230
00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:27.079
nods at each of them saying, good morning father, good
231
00:18:27.140 --> 00:18:31.259
morning father. They're stunned, how in the world did she
232
00:18:31.319 --> 00:18:34.240
know we're priests? So next day they go back to
233
00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:37.890
the stores, they buy even more outrageous garb, you know,
234
00:18:37.930 --> 00:18:40.950
and again they're sitting there in their disguise on the
235
00:18:40.990 --> 00:18:43.869
beach in the chairs enjoying the day. The next day
236
00:18:45.190 --> 00:18:48.319
after a while the same young woman taking her sweet time,
237
00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:51.859
comes walking right towards them, greets them individually. Good morning, father.
238
00:18:52.819 --> 00:18:56.359
Starts to walk away, but the priest couldn't stand any longer.
239
00:18:56.380 --> 00:19:01.000
And one of them says, just a moment, young woman. Yes,
240
00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:03.930
she replies. And he says, you know, we're priests and
241
00:19:03.970 --> 00:19:06.150
we're proud of it, but I have to know how
242
00:19:06.250 --> 00:19:11.430
in the world did you know we're priests? And she replies, father,
243
00:19:11.789 --> 00:19:20.599
it's me, sister Angela. So I know it's a bit
244
00:19:20.660 --> 00:19:26.059
of a stretch as an illustration, forgive me, but there
245
00:19:26.119 --> 00:19:29.859
is a point which is once we've locked into our
246
00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:34.599
stories about the other, especially when they fit in a
247
00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:38.819
hierarchy in our mind, which they usually do, we don't
248
00:19:39.240 --> 00:19:43.619
keep looking and attending. So I've mentioned that the first
249
00:19:43.660 --> 00:19:45.839
thing that happens when we meet each other, the brain
250
00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:49.430
scans for safety or danger, And then when we start
251
00:19:49.470 --> 00:19:52.460
getting to know each other, the ego is scanning for
252
00:19:52.500 --> 00:19:57.009
what we like, what we don't like, the roles. If
253
00:19:57.349 --> 00:20:01.690
we're mindful and we start with those that are closer
254
00:20:02.750 --> 00:20:05.950
and start asking, well, who's really here? You know, what's
255
00:20:06.009 --> 00:20:09.430
life like for you right now? What matters to you?
256
00:20:10.589 --> 00:20:13.029
you know, what's making you laugh, what makes you cry,
257
00:20:13.049 --> 00:20:19.670
the trance starts thinning. We're no longer living from our
258
00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:25.460
spacesuit self. There's some deeper presence that is emerging. And
259
00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:29.279
we start becoming aware that, well, just like me, you're
260
00:20:29.339 --> 00:20:34.799
experiencing human vulnerability. Just like me, you feel the pain
261
00:20:34.819 --> 00:20:41.619
of separation. Just like me, you have longings for loving connection, understanding,
262
00:20:41.700 --> 00:20:46.519
being peaceful, being happy, we get to a deeper dimension
263
00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:51.329
than the spacesuit self. And then when we really start
264
00:20:52.180 --> 00:20:56.789
living in that presence with each other, that's where the
265
00:20:56.910 --> 00:21:02.349
true sense of namaste unfolds. Because we sense even under
266
00:21:02.450 --> 00:21:09.529
the waves of vulnerability and longing, we start sensing
fundamental
267
00:21:09.630 --> 00:21:14.269
innocence or purity, a kind of a light, a spirit
268
00:21:14.309 --> 00:21:18.210
that's shining through this being. We start to be able
269
00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:23.299
to see that and sense that. So let me slow
270
00:21:23.339 --> 00:21:28.059
down here, pause and invite you to reflect. It's interesting
271
00:21:28.099 --> 00:21:32.880
to scan and perhaps bring to mind someone you know,
272
00:21:32.900 --> 00:21:44.329
a friend or a colleague bringing someone to mind. And
273
00:21:44.369 --> 00:21:47.910
notice what you attend to when they come to mind,
274
00:21:48.970 --> 00:21:52.799
whether you're seeing a visual image and you're kind of
275
00:21:52.859 --> 00:21:57.200
remembering what they look like, or maybe it's the story
276
00:21:57.259 --> 00:22:04.740
of their work, what they do, or maybe you're noticing
277
00:22:04.829 --> 00:22:11.380
things about their personality, what what makes them appealing or
278
00:22:13.380 --> 00:22:17.500
things that are irritating. So just to notice, you know,
279
00:22:17.539 --> 00:22:21.430
how much filtering from the spacesuit, the story about who
280
00:22:21.470 --> 00:22:29.210
they are, that you always carry in your mind. And
281
00:22:29.289 --> 00:22:31.789
how much do you sense as you bring them to
282
00:22:31.849 --> 00:22:37.539
mind that there's that kind of inquiry and interest and
283
00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:45.400
openness to, well, who's really here? To sense their vulnerabilities,
284
00:22:46.059 --> 00:22:51.089
their yearnings, what matters to this person, and to sense
285
00:22:51.130 --> 00:22:57.250
their heart, their spirit, the consciousness or awareness that looks
286
00:22:57.309 --> 00:23:08.180
through those eyes. Just as we attend to others, in
287
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:11.380
either a habitual way or perhaps with more mindful attention.
288
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:14.500
It's the same in how we're relating to our inner life.
289
00:23:15.859 --> 00:23:18.519
You know, often we go around in a kind of
290
00:23:18.579 --> 00:23:23.400
habitual way, identified as a small self who's doing something,
291
00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:26.740
who's got to get something done, who's either doing it
292
00:23:26.789 --> 00:23:31.529
well or not well, who's fearing something. You know, a
293
00:23:31.569 --> 00:23:36.289
familiar sense of the role that you're playing. And that's
294
00:23:36.940 --> 00:23:42.769
the who you're identified with. And it can require pausing
295
00:23:43.089 --> 00:23:50.549
and deepening presence to sense beyond that spacesuit self, who's
296
00:23:50.589 --> 00:23:58.720
really here? That formless presence and love that's way beyond
297
00:23:59.500 --> 00:24:05.099
any story we could ever tell ourselves. So this is
298
00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:09.619
our inquiry, you know, this pathway of how do we
299
00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:16.759
deepen attention so we can learn to truly inhabit namaste,
300
00:24:16.779 --> 00:24:20.819
that sense of seeing the sacred in ourselves and each other,
301
00:24:20.839 --> 00:24:28.269
and having some reverence, some true honoring towards what's beyond
302
00:24:28.329 --> 00:24:35.049
the spacesuit. And this will be for the rest of
303
00:24:35.150 --> 00:24:40.829
this reflection together, we'll be looking at two completely related
304
00:24:40.890 --> 00:24:46.380
pathways that wake us up to this. And one is
305
00:24:46.460 --> 00:24:49.480
we start right where we are and we notice the
306
00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:54.960
pain of trance, the suffering of identifying as a spacesuit, yourself,
307
00:24:55.039 --> 00:24:57.920
you know, smaller than what we really are. And the
308
00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:03.230
second pathway is intentionally looking towards spirit, towards the good,
309
00:25:03.809 --> 00:25:08.450
towards what's beautiful, towards what we cherish. Okay, so we'll
310
00:25:08.470 --> 00:25:11.700
start with the first. And you see the first one,
311
00:25:11.950 --> 00:25:17.230
this pathway towards namaste by paying attention to, well, here's
312
00:25:17.269 --> 00:25:22.500
where I'm suffering. Here's where I'm actually blocked from sensing
313
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:26.819
who I am. And you sense this process. If you
314
00:25:27.019 --> 00:25:30.319
think of a chick breaking out of an egg or
315
00:25:30.339 --> 00:25:33.539
a fetus coming out of the womb or a butterfly
316
00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:39.089
emerging from a chrysalis, that there's pressure. there's pain of
317
00:25:39.210 --> 00:25:43.819
too tight a container, that we have to respond to
318
00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:48.960
that tension, that tightness, that pressure in order to grow
319
00:25:49.019 --> 00:25:52.970
and wake up. This is that first approach, responding to
320
00:25:52.990 --> 00:25:57.210
the suffering. And if you think of all the adaptations
321
00:25:57.450 --> 00:26:02.319
through evolution, all the evolving that we do it arises
322
00:26:02.380 --> 00:26:06.119
from stress, it arises from pressure, from pain, from something
323
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:11.009
out of balance or not working. So this also goes
324
00:26:11.609 --> 00:26:17.069
to the process of evolving human consciousness, that the way
325
00:26:17.150 --> 00:26:21.390
we evolve is we're alerted by stress or pain that
326
00:26:21.430 --> 00:26:24.650
we're living in too small a container, we're identified with
327
00:26:24.750 --> 00:26:29.710
limiting thoughts and beliefs, we're identified with spacesuit self and
328
00:26:29.769 --> 00:26:34.319
forgetting the larger sense of who we can be. So
329
00:26:34.359 --> 00:26:39.839
what that means is if you're suffering, you're pressing against
330
00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:42.819
the chrysalis, there's a pressure of living in too small
331
00:26:42.859 --> 00:26:47.500
an identity. And the primary expression of this, I find,
332
00:26:47.579 --> 00:26:52.410
is really the limiting beliefs that
we're believing we're a
333
00:26:52.509 --> 00:26:57.329
failing self, we're a threatened self, we're an unlovable self.
334
00:26:59.130 --> 00:27:03.460
And these block or obscure the realization of who we
335
00:27:03.500 --> 00:27:09.740
really are. They block namaste. So if we don't pay attention,
336
00:27:10.119 --> 00:27:12.740
if we just go on believing the beliefs, we stay
337
00:27:12.779 --> 00:27:15.400
in prison and the squeeze is very painful. And it
338
00:27:15.460 --> 00:27:18.180
only gets more painful because there's something in us that
339
00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:22.150
really wants to grow and be who we are. So
340
00:27:22.190 --> 00:27:26.589
we sometimes act in ways to find comfort and soothe
341
00:27:26.609 --> 00:27:31.359
that through addictive behaviors or dominating others or trying to
342
00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:36.390
control or defend, but that just plays into the suffering,
343
00:27:36.430 --> 00:27:44.549
that actually builds it. The prison that we all find
344
00:27:44.589 --> 00:27:47.410
that we're in when we're identified as a small self
345
00:27:48.630 --> 00:27:54.359
is created by society and by our caregivers that give
346
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:58.299
us messages about who we are, basically that the self
347
00:27:58.480 --> 00:28:03.369
you are is not okay, And in a caste system,
348
00:28:03.430 --> 00:28:06.650
which we all live in, it's inevitable. It doesn't matter
349
00:28:07.299 --> 00:28:11.039
where you are in the caste system. We all have
350
00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:16.759
intersecting identities. Still, it's an identity that keeps us separate.
351
00:28:17.460 --> 00:28:21.480
And we're stuck, if we're higher up the hierarchy, we're
352
00:28:21.509 --> 00:28:25.670
stuck having to defend the position because there's insecurity in
353
00:28:25.730 --> 00:28:31.269
maintaining it. through dominating, through violence, through grasping, through greed.
354
00:28:31.309 --> 00:28:34.599
And you can see that right now with white supremacy
355
00:28:34.940 --> 00:28:38.160
in so much of the world that as there's some
356
00:28:38.599 --> 00:28:47.599
waking up to the cruelty and ignorance of racism, white supremacy,
357
00:28:47.740 --> 00:28:50.420
and I wish it were true that it's a final
358
00:28:50.500 --> 00:28:55.099
throes of grasping on, but you can sense how intense
359
00:28:55.180 --> 00:29:02.359
it's getting. any struggle with feeling like we have to
360
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:06.200
defend our position and we tighten. Or for those that
361
00:29:06.259 --> 00:29:09.130
are lower on the hierarchy, there's the pain of oppression,
362
00:29:09.150 --> 00:29:13.490
of fear, shame, anger, addiction. And of course this is
363
00:29:13.549 --> 00:29:18.950
all deepened by caregivers who send the messages through family
364
00:29:19.009 --> 00:29:26.940
systems and raising us. So there's trauma, there's especially when
365
00:29:27.319 --> 00:29:30.480
lower on the hierarchy there's that
message of this is
366
00:29:30.559 --> 00:29:35.049
a dangerous world and you are less than. Again I
367
00:29:35.089 --> 00:29:39.789
want to just say for all of us the society
368
00:29:39.970 --> 00:29:43.930
reinforces a spacesuit self. It gives us standards we're supposed
369
00:29:43.970 --> 00:29:48.230
to meet, like success, like looking a certain way, having
370
00:29:48.279 --> 00:29:55.180
a certain body, achieving. It keeps us striving and monitoring
371
00:29:55.799 --> 00:29:58.720
and afraid of falling short or feeling like we are
372
00:29:58.779 --> 00:30:02.390
falling short. it stops us from seeing who we really are.
373
00:30:03.950 --> 00:30:10.220
So the waking up, bringing mindfulness to the place of suffering.
374
00:30:11.539 --> 00:30:14.480
Let me share, we'll look at this, but I'll share
375
00:30:14.500 --> 00:30:18.549
a story of one man's prison which was created both
376
00:30:18.630 --> 00:30:23.289
by our society's racial caste system and also through caregiving
377
00:30:24.089 --> 00:30:27.430
and his caregivers. And this was a friend from college.
378
00:30:28.859 --> 00:30:32.819
he contacted me some years ago. You know, we both
379
00:30:32.859 --> 00:30:36.019
were practicing meditation and he needed some support in a
380
00:30:36.059 --> 00:30:40.720
life situation and I was active as a clinical psychologist then.
381
00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:45.910
So this man is African-American, he's a photojournalist, and he
382
00:30:45.970 --> 00:30:50.430
married a Caucasian woman. And as it turned out, her
383
00:30:50.509 --> 00:30:57.420
mother was outwardly hostile. They'd visit and she'd she'd be rude,
384
00:30:57.500 --> 00:31:00.660
she'd ignore him, and her view was basically, this is
385
00:31:00.700 --> 00:31:02.559
a man of a different race, it's going to mean
386
00:31:02.599 --> 00:31:07.079
trouble and unhappiness for both of them. He was hurt,
387
00:31:07.259 --> 00:31:11.650
he felt angry, his wife was outraged, didn't want to
388
00:31:11.710 --> 00:31:17.289
visit anymore, said, this is it, let's just sever. But
389
00:31:17.549 --> 00:31:23.430
his path, his spiritual path, basically had taught him that to...
390
00:31:25.099 --> 00:31:32.029
open to whatever circumstances are arising, and basically have the prayer,
391
00:31:32.069 --> 00:31:35.509
and this is called the Bodhisattva prayer, it's the prayer
392
00:31:35.549 --> 00:31:41.730
of an awakening being, may whatever arises awaken this heart
393
00:31:41.799 --> 00:31:46.119
and mind, no matter what it is. So that was
394
00:31:46.200 --> 00:31:50.799
his kind of approach to life. He also had a
395
00:31:50.839 --> 00:31:55.440
Tibetan teacher who sent the message, he gave out the teaching,
396
00:31:55.900 --> 00:32:00.880
never give up on anybody. Okay, so these combined, basically
397
00:32:00.980 --> 00:32:03.400
he wanted to stay in the game, but he needed
398
00:32:03.440 --> 00:32:06.960
some support on how to do it. So we met
399
00:32:07.019 --> 00:32:10.539
and we did some processes of him getting in touch
400
00:32:10.599 --> 00:32:13.980
with where, you know, behind the anger that he was
401
00:32:14.019 --> 00:32:17.220
feeling and hurt now, how that had lived in his
402
00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:20.150
body and in his system for his whole life. He
403
00:32:20.170 --> 00:32:23.930
had a single mom and He felt like to be
404
00:32:23.990 --> 00:32:26.650
an okay person, he had to live up to who
405
00:32:26.690 --> 00:32:28.990
his father might have been if he was home. In
406
00:32:29.049 --> 00:32:31.839
other words, replace his father. And he always felt like
407
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:36.779
he was falling short, felt not seen, not valued, not enough,
408
00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:41.740
not belonging. And that intensified. He went to a white,
409
00:32:42.140 --> 00:32:45.980
primarily white college. He was in a professionally white world.
410
00:32:46.099 --> 00:32:51.869
So he was always trying to prove his worth. and
411
00:32:51.930 --> 00:32:55.049
feeling a sense of not belonging. And of course this
412
00:32:55.109 --> 00:32:59.869
situation with his new mother-in-law was just brought right up
413
00:32:59.910 --> 00:33:04.400
to the surface. So that's what we practice with. And
414
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:08.700
he brought a lot of presence to it, a lot
415
00:33:08.740 --> 00:33:12.140
of kindness to it, you know, really, really holding with
416
00:33:12.180 --> 00:33:17.470
tenderness that old feeling of shame and not belonging and pain.
417
00:33:17.490 --> 00:33:23.900
And After some weeks of really being with himself in
418
00:33:23.960 --> 00:33:27.640
this way, he felt stronger. It wasn't healed, but he
419
00:33:27.660 --> 00:33:31.859
felt stronger. And he wanted to do the next visit
420
00:33:31.900 --> 00:33:35.220
with his wife, it was Thanksgiving, and she was his
421
00:33:35.349 --> 00:33:38.529
ally and he also brought his camera as kind of
422
00:33:38.549 --> 00:33:41.710
a resource so he could stay behind his camera and
423
00:33:41.750 --> 00:33:44.069
have something he could do that would give him a
424
00:33:44.109 --> 00:33:48.109
way to engage, interact and be there, but still take
425
00:33:48.150 --> 00:33:54.829
care of himself. Well, they went. The mother-in-law was still rude,
426
00:33:55.730 --> 00:34:00.329
wouldn't respond to questions. He was trying to bring her
427
00:34:00.390 --> 00:34:02.950
out some. Refused to go out to dinner one night
428
00:34:02.990 --> 00:34:05.259
because she didn't want to be seen in public, the
429
00:34:05.279 --> 00:34:10.639
mixed family. He had his camera. He stayed present with himself.
430
00:34:10.699 --> 00:34:13.159
When he emailed me about it, he said, you know,
431
00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:15.980
I was able to see her more. It didn't feel
432
00:34:16.039 --> 00:34:19.860
quite as personal. and she's a really frightened woman, a
433
00:34:20.119 --> 00:34:27.340
very controlling, frightened person, real tight heart. Next holiday, Christmas,
434
00:34:27.400 --> 00:34:33.079
and he increasingly was feeling more strength as he did
435
00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:36.800
a practice with himself that was really staying right at
436
00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:40.340
the edge of that place of suffering and bringing kindness
437
00:34:40.409 --> 00:34:43.869
and coming home as he did it. Each time he'd
438
00:34:43.909 --> 00:34:48.739
bring care to the place of hurt and shame, he
439
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:52.190
felt like he shifted and became that caring presence. He
440
00:34:52.230 --> 00:34:55.909
could feel his own light. He could feel who he
441
00:34:55.969 --> 00:35:03.769
was beyond the spacesuit. Okay. Christmas holidays, they go, there's
442
00:35:03.809 --> 00:35:08.269
a gift exchange and the mother-in-law and family, they gave
443
00:35:08.329 --> 00:35:11.070
him socks that didn't fit and a box of candy
444
00:35:11.130 --> 00:35:15.440
and he's a health nut. He gave her gifts and
445
00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:18.239
she was sitting across the room opening them, and there
446
00:35:18.260 --> 00:35:23.030
were two framed pictures. It was from Thanksgiving. And in
447
00:35:23.170 --> 00:35:26.449
one of the pictures, well, before I tell you the pictures,
448
00:35:27.170 --> 00:35:30.869
when she was looking at them, she started weeping. So
449
00:35:30.929 --> 00:35:34.320
others came around back to see what they were. Well,
450
00:35:34.340 --> 00:35:38.119
one was her playing with her new granddaughter. The wife
451
00:35:38.179 --> 00:35:42.079
of this man, her sister brought the daughter. So there's
452
00:35:42.139 --> 00:35:44.739
the mother playing with her new granddaughter. And the other,
453
00:35:44.840 --> 00:35:52.219
she's in her husband's lap and they're being playful. He
454
00:35:52.559 --> 00:35:57.019
had caught her goodness during that past holiday. He had
455
00:35:57.179 --> 00:36:03.639
caught her goodness. So I'm going to fast forward a
456
00:36:03.659 --> 00:36:07.760
bit and say that the relationship did not do an
457
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:12.199
immediate thaw. There was not a kind of magic like that.
458
00:36:13.530 --> 00:36:18.690
But over the next few years, there was the grounds
459
00:36:18.789 --> 00:36:23.570
of a growing respect. He had found an inner refuge.
460
00:36:23.989 --> 00:36:26.730
In other words, he was in touch with who he
461
00:36:26.789 --> 00:36:33.510
was beyond that spacesuit self, the small self. And he
462
00:36:33.590 --> 00:36:36.739
had seen her in a way that, and let her
463
00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:40.840
know that, put her more in touch with her better self,
464
00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:44.820
who she was a little bit beyond her spacesuit. So
465
00:36:44.840 --> 00:36:52.050
there was a movement towards healing connection. These are the
466
00:36:52.110 --> 00:36:57.349
seeds of Namaste, of what's possible. And it's important to
467
00:36:57.409 --> 00:37:02.429
know that when we're suffering, no matter what it is,
468
00:37:02.449 --> 00:37:07.489
when we're suffering, it's not bad. It's a wake up
469
00:37:07.530 --> 00:37:14.039
that something needs attention. There's something we're not remembering. And
470
00:37:14.059 --> 00:37:18.280
if it's a societal suffering, it's the racial caste system
471
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:23.889
that's forgotten the intrinsic value of all beings. And on
472
00:37:23.929 --> 00:37:30.730
an individual level, when we've internalized messages that we're not okay,
473
00:37:30.789 --> 00:37:34.449
we're failing, we should be more. In other words, when
474
00:37:34.469 --> 00:37:39.840
we're living inside beliefs that are not true, it's going
475
00:37:39.860 --> 00:37:44.699
to feel like suffering. If you're suffering, you're believing something
476
00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:49.340
that's not true. And the suffering is a wake-up to
477
00:37:49.400 --> 00:37:54.059
challenge that, to open to something more. It's a portal
478
00:37:54.099 --> 00:37:58.389
to freedom. And you might just take a moment to
479
00:37:58.449 --> 00:38:03.010
pause here. And you might let your attention go inward.
480
00:38:07.159 --> 00:38:18.920
Take a few full breaths. You might bring to mind
481
00:38:18.960 --> 00:38:23.460
a situation where, as you witness right now, you're aware
482
00:38:23.500 --> 00:38:28.300
you are living in a spacesuit self, where you're living
483
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:32.880
and reacting and caught in beliefs and feelings that make
484
00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:38.760
you insecure and reactive, where you do feel stuck, small, separate.
485
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:44.260
It might be a situation at work or something to
486
00:38:44.300 --> 00:39:00.670
do with a relationship. and addictive behavior. So bringing to
487
00:39:00.730 --> 00:39:07.170
mind the situation and just sensing the signs of the
488
00:39:07.230 --> 00:39:14.530
spacesuit self where you're believing you're failing, unworthy, not loved,
489
00:39:16.989 --> 00:39:19.880
that something's gonna go wrong, so you're living in that
490
00:39:20.139 --> 00:39:39.780
defensive mode or maybe judgment. And since you are the
491
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:44.619
witness right now, you're noticing this. This is what happens
492
00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:49.639
when there's an identification with a small self. the pain
493
00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:53.800
of that. And just feel your prayer. You can perhaps
494
00:39:53.940 --> 00:39:59.530
try the words of the Bodhisattva prayer. May this suffering
495
00:39:59.590 --> 00:40:05.030
serve to awaken my heart and mind. May I realize
496
00:40:05.110 --> 00:40:24.059
who I am beyond the small self. It helps to
497
00:40:24.099 --> 00:40:28.070
remember that the spacesuit self, when we identify with it,
498
00:40:28.090 --> 00:40:32.230
it feels very real, but it's not the truth of
499
00:40:32.289 --> 00:40:37.260
who you are. You can find your way to namaste,
500
00:40:37.340 --> 00:40:42.519
that sense of honoring a spirit, a formless awareness, a
501
00:40:42.559 --> 00:40:46.619
love that's beyond the spacesuit self, that's living through you.
502
00:40:52.480 --> 00:40:54.840
Okay friends, if your eyes are closed and you want
503
00:40:54.860 --> 00:40:59.570
to open them, please do. So I mentioned two pathways
504
00:40:59.670 --> 00:41:03.070
for cultivating the spirit of Namaste and one is, as
505
00:41:03.130 --> 00:41:06.219
I just mentioned, seeing where we're cut off from it
506
00:41:07.340 --> 00:41:11.639
and bringing presence to that. The second is to intentionally
507
00:41:11.880 --> 00:41:18.239
turn towards the light, towards goodness. we're not only alerted
508
00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:22.840
by suffering, we're also called by that goodness, called by
509
00:41:22.860 --> 00:41:27.500
a wisdom that knows we're more. You wouldn't be here
510
00:41:27.579 --> 00:41:31.829
right now, you wouldn't be listening if there wasn't something
511
00:41:31.929 --> 00:41:36.909
in you that sensed a more mysterious and sacred dimension
512
00:41:37.550 --> 00:41:42.289
to what you are, to what we are. That intuition's
513
00:41:42.369 --> 00:41:45.860
in us. So take a moment, we'll go back to
514
00:41:45.889 --> 00:41:49.400
the caterpillar and the chrysalis, okay? And science is so
515
00:41:49.480 --> 00:41:53.119
fascinating on this one. I mentioned how, you know, when
516
00:41:53.360 --> 00:41:57.739
the butterfly is ready to fly, it feels the pressure
517
00:41:58.210 --> 00:42:02.369
of the chrysalis and that lets it know to break loose. Well,
518
00:42:03.489 --> 00:42:08.070
before that, when the butterfly is a caterpillar within the chrysalis,
519
00:42:08.909 --> 00:42:15.099
the structure of the caterpillar dissolves into this soupy organic mush.
520
00:42:16.360 --> 00:42:21.210
You know, all the organs, everything dissolves. And these dormant
521
00:42:21.550 --> 00:42:25.889
imaginal cells start to cluster and develop into the new
522
00:42:25.929 --> 00:42:28.989
structure of the butterfly. In other words, a totally new
523
00:42:29.050 --> 00:42:34.179
being emerges. And it's pretty amazing that scientists name these
524
00:42:34.760 --> 00:42:39.599
imaginal cells because they're cells that have the potential to
525
00:42:39.659 --> 00:42:44.469
manifest what we really are. in this case the butterfly,
526
00:42:44.489 --> 00:42:49.590
and that that's intrinsic, it's already there. And just to think,
527
00:42:49.650 --> 00:42:52.469
I mean, here we are as humans, we wake up
528
00:42:52.530 --> 00:42:55.269
to evolve our consciousness, we don't have to dissolve all
529
00:42:55.329 --> 00:42:59.969
our organs, we just have to release the grip of
530
00:43:00.030 --> 00:43:07.159
those pesky negative beliefs, you know, to get that as
531
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:10.820
much as the spacesuit and those beliefs feel real, they're
532
00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:14.579
not the truth of who we are You are
not
533
00:43:14.639 --> 00:43:18.139
who you think you are. And then to turn towards
534
00:43:18.159 --> 00:43:23.320
the goodness that's already here. And it takes intention. It
535
00:43:24.530 --> 00:43:28.190
takes intention to do that. But I do think of
536
00:43:28.929 --> 00:43:32.650
learning to turn towards the goodness, towards beauty, to feel
537
00:43:32.730 --> 00:43:37.949
our gratitude, to feel our love, to cultivate that. It's
538
00:43:37.989 --> 00:43:42.530
a superpower. And the reason it's a superpower is because
539
00:43:43.659 --> 00:43:46.860
The goodness is already here but when we turn towards it,
540
00:43:46.880 --> 00:43:49.420
when we bring the light of awareness to it, it
541
00:43:49.539 --> 00:43:55.400
calls it forward, it brings it forth. Okay, another story.
542
00:43:55.539 --> 00:43:59.559
And this was shared by a man from my area,
543
00:43:59.579 --> 00:44:04.519
from DC, who runs a rehab program for juvenile offenders.
544
00:44:05.539 --> 00:44:09.800
And most of the young people he works with were
545
00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:15.539
gang members and most had committed homicide Okay, so one
546
00:44:16.739 --> 00:44:20.969
of these is a 14-year-old boy in the program had
547
00:44:21.010 --> 00:44:24.170
shot and killed an innocent teenager to prove himself to
548
00:44:24.210 --> 00:44:29.369
his gang. And at his trial, the victim's mother sat
549
00:44:29.429 --> 00:44:32.340
there impassively silent until the end. And then when the
550
00:44:32.360 --> 00:44:35.579
youth was convicted of the killing, after the verdict was announced,
551
00:44:35.619 --> 00:44:37.920
she stood up slowly and stared at him and said,
552
00:44:38.579 --> 00:44:41.909
I'm going to kill you. then the youth was taken
553
00:44:41.949 --> 00:44:46.679
away to serve several years in a juvenile facility. Now,
554
00:44:46.800 --> 00:44:49.199
after the first half a year, the mother of the
555
00:44:49.219 --> 00:44:52.599
slain child began to visit him. And, you know, he
556
00:44:52.639 --> 00:44:56.280
had been living on the streets, didn't have other visitors,
557
00:44:56.340 --> 00:44:58.900
so for a time they'd talk, and she gave him money,
558
00:44:59.679 --> 00:45:03.320
came back several more times, and each time she'd bring
559
00:45:04.420 --> 00:45:08.230
some food, some small gifts. Near the end of his
560
00:45:08.289 --> 00:45:11.789
three-year sentence. She asked him what he'd be doing when
561
00:45:11.829 --> 00:45:15.570
he got out and he was uncertain, confused. So she
562
00:45:15.690 --> 00:45:18.630
offered to set him up with a job with a
563
00:45:18.949 --> 00:45:22.360
friend's company. And then she asked where he was going
564
00:45:22.380 --> 00:45:24.980
to live and since he didn't have a family to
565
00:45:25.039 --> 00:45:29.019
return to she offered him temporary use of a spare
566
00:45:29.059 --> 00:45:33.679
room in her home. So for eight months he lived
567
00:45:33.699 --> 00:45:36.670
there and he ate her food and worked at the job.
568
00:45:37.369 --> 00:45:40.079
Then one evening she called him in to living room
569
00:45:40.119 --> 00:45:43.460
to talk and sat down opposite him, just kind of
570
00:45:43.480 --> 00:45:45.159
waited a bit. And then she said, do you remember
571
00:45:45.219 --> 00:45:47.260
in the courtroom when I said I was going to
572
00:45:47.280 --> 00:45:52.969
kill you? I sure do, he replied. Well, I did,
573
00:45:53.070 --> 00:45:55.070
she went on. I did not want the boy who
574
00:45:55.110 --> 00:45:58.090
could kill my son for no reason to remain alive
575
00:45:58.150 --> 00:46:00.849
on this earth. I wanted him to die. So that's
576
00:46:00.889 --> 00:46:03.400
why I started to visit you and bring you things.
577
00:46:03.460 --> 00:46:05.699
And that's why I got you the job and let
578
00:46:05.719 --> 00:46:07.420
you live in my house. And that's how I set
579
00:46:07.460 --> 00:46:12.969
about changing you. And that old boy, he's gone. So
580
00:46:12.989 --> 00:46:14.929
what I want to ask you, since my son is
581
00:46:14.969 --> 00:46:18.269
gone and that killer is gone, if you'll stay here.
582
00:46:19.150 --> 00:46:21.110
I've got a room and I'd like to adopt you
583
00:46:21.150 --> 00:46:26.130
if you'll let me. And she became the mother of
584
00:46:26.190 --> 00:46:37.659
her son's killer, the mother he had never had. Each
585
00:46:38.059 --> 00:46:47.349
time I share this. I'm humbled because it's rare to
586
00:46:47.409 --> 00:46:51.030
see deeply to the soul of one who's caused us
587
00:46:51.639 --> 00:47:02.599
such horrific suffering and that takes a real deep, deep capacity.
588
00:47:02.860 --> 00:47:07.590
She changed him by having confidence in who he really was.
589
00:47:10.380 --> 00:47:14.420
what she really did, what she killed was his identification
590
00:47:14.460 --> 00:47:21.369
with the spacesuit self that was so violent so it's
591
00:47:21.429 --> 00:47:26.909
inspiring to know this is possible and we each can
592
00:47:26.969 --> 00:47:31.210
train our capacity to see goodness in ourselves and others
593
00:47:32.489 --> 00:47:35.139
to feel our love, to feel our gratitude where it
594
00:47:35.199 --> 00:47:39.199
comes most easily and naturally and build from there You know,
595
00:47:39.239 --> 00:47:44.250
we can trust what we practice gets stronger. The capacity
596
00:47:44.730 --> 00:47:47.789
for seeing the sacred really does wake up in us.
597
00:47:49.550 --> 00:47:54.690
So I emphasize that it needs to be an intentional practice. That,
598
00:47:54.989 --> 00:48:00.639
I mean, if you consider our evolutionary negativity bias, you know,
599
00:48:00.659 --> 00:48:05.019
the survival brain's habit of fixating on what's wrong, even
600
00:48:05.119 --> 00:48:08.880
with those closest to us, you know, And when we're
601
00:48:08.909 --> 00:48:12.019
not even in a strong reaction, still there's this habit
602
00:48:12.059 --> 00:48:16.219
of
wanting others and ourselves to be different. We keep
603
00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:22.900
having that inclination. And at any moment that there's an
604
00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:26.739
undercurrent that you're not enough or you need to change,
605
00:48:27.980 --> 00:48:31.619
it blocks the capacity for namaste where we are really
606
00:48:31.679 --> 00:48:41.000
remembering their spirit, their goodness. I often think of parenting
607
00:48:41.500 --> 00:48:47.900
in this. I've always been entertained by Florida Maxwell who writes,
608
00:48:48.039 --> 00:48:51.889
no matter how old a mother is, she watches her
609
00:48:51.949 --> 00:48:57.070
middle-aged children for signs of improvement. I think of that
610
00:48:57.130 --> 00:49:00.969
because my son's now 35 and I watch myself watching him.
611
00:49:02.710 --> 00:49:07.000
Most stages while he was growing up, there was really
612
00:49:07.059 --> 00:49:09.599
some problem I was focused on that I thought needed
613
00:49:10.059 --> 00:49:12.599
attention and should be different. You know, he needs to
614
00:49:12.639 --> 00:49:16.690
be more disciplined at school and less computer games and,
615
00:49:17.190 --> 00:49:19.889
you know, more responsible around the house. You know, the
616
00:49:20.179 --> 00:49:25.119
common list that probably most every parent knows. And I
617
00:49:25.139 --> 00:49:27.780
realized looking back that in the moments when I locked
618
00:49:27.900 --> 00:49:32.250
into judging where my spacesuit self was judging his spacesuit self,
619
00:49:34.190 --> 00:49:38.130
I wasn't feeling connected. My heart wasn't open. And I
620
00:49:38.170 --> 00:49:42.300
realized looking back that the greatest gift I offered him
621
00:49:42.380 --> 00:49:45.699
were the moments that I was just beholding and trusting
622
00:49:46.219 --> 00:49:50.760
his innate goodness. When on some level, you know, my
623
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:58.670
heart was, namaste. Last week, a parent was worried about
624
00:49:59.469 --> 00:50:02.530
her son. And I asked her, you know, what do
625
00:50:02.550 --> 00:50:05.989
you really love about him? What do you most trust
626
00:50:06.090 --> 00:50:10.440
or honor? And she started naming things, you know, as humor,
627
00:50:10.519 --> 00:50:14.679
as kindness. And I said, reflect on that. Really do
628
00:50:14.719 --> 00:50:19.639
this namaste practice where you honor that. It helps them
629
00:50:19.699 --> 00:50:27.239
to trust who they are. We become a mirror of goodness. Okay,
630
00:50:27.280 --> 00:50:32.139
this is a poem from Santatukaram. He says, I could
631
00:50:32.179 --> 00:50:36.119
not lie anymore, so I started to call my dog God.
632
00:50:37.159 --> 00:50:41.639
First he looked confused. Then he started smiling. Then he
633
00:50:41.699 --> 00:50:44.630
even danced. I kept at it. Now he doesn't even bite.
634
00:50:44.650 --> 00:50:52.030
I'm wondering if this might work on people. Well, it does.
635
00:50:52.750 --> 00:50:56.699
It
is a superpower and it's really an intentional practice.
636
00:50:56.840 --> 00:50:59.079
And there are some steps that the first thing we
637
00:50:59.119 --> 00:51:04.280
do if we want to look towards goodness, cultivate that capacity,
638
00:51:04.889 --> 00:51:08.510
is intentionally pause and reflect and see what we love,
639
00:51:09.050 --> 00:51:13.179
see what we're grateful for. The second step is to
640
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:17.400
actually take the time to feel and savor the appreciation
641
00:51:18.579 --> 00:51:21.239
so that we're not just bowing, so to speak, and
642
00:51:21.280 --> 00:51:25.039
saying namaste, but our body and heart is feeling that
643
00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:30.309
sense of love, gratitude, devotion, reverence, whatever word we want
644
00:51:30.349 --> 00:51:33.989
to call it. And then the third is to express it.
645
00:51:34.969 --> 00:51:40.039
in some way. So this is intuitive that we would
646
00:51:40.099 --> 00:51:44.320
need to do these things, but it's also neuroscience that
647
00:51:44.940 --> 00:51:48.679
painful experiences, the sense of what's wrong and the pain
648
00:51:48.739 --> 00:51:53.139
around that, very sticky. In fact, that's what's saved in
649
00:51:53.159 --> 00:51:58.219
the implicit memory when something bad happens, when something goes wrong,
650
00:51:58.260 --> 00:52:01.750
that we do something wrong or somebody else misbehaves. And
651
00:52:01.809 --> 00:52:05.230
that's what shapes our ongoing experience of our self and others.
652
00:52:06.690 --> 00:52:11.610
Positive experiences, you know, the ones that deepen our trust
653
00:52:11.699 --> 00:52:15.880
in who we are beyond the spacesuit self, positive experiences
654
00:52:17.039 --> 00:52:20.760
require staying with. And they say 15 to 30 seconds
655
00:52:21.340 --> 00:52:25.199
where we're actually experiencing our sense of ourselves or each
656
00:52:25.280 --> 00:52:29.460
other in a deep way. That's what leaves the imprint.
657
00:52:30.119 --> 00:52:34.170
And each round that we do that. Each round that
658
00:52:34.210 --> 00:52:38.739
we sense the sacredness, sense the beauty and stay with it,
659
00:52:38.849 --> 00:52:43.179
it nourishes those imaginal cells and there's really a transmission
660
00:52:43.199 --> 00:52:47.139
to the other person when we're seeing their goodness. As
661
00:52:47.219 --> 00:52:51.119
I mentioned, it works because the sacredness is there but
662
00:52:51.139 --> 00:52:55.739
we're calling it forward. You know, it's like that man
663
00:52:55.800 --> 00:52:58.150
in the story where he was saying, I did good.
664
00:52:59.530 --> 00:53:04.179
Even when it's covered over, by the spacesuit self, even
665
00:53:04.199 --> 00:53:09.219
when it's covered over by your confusion or self-aversion, you
666
00:53:09.300 --> 00:53:12.679
still have a longing to live from a pure heart.
667
00:53:12.719 --> 00:53:15.570
You still want to live from that goodness. You intuit
668
00:53:15.619 -->
00:53:19.469
that goodness. It comes alive when we attend to it.
669
00:53:22.429 --> 00:53:26.349
So I started with that image of more and more
670
00:53:26.389 --> 00:53:30.179
of us practicing, and we can customize and sense our
671
00:53:30.239 --> 00:53:35.519
way of practicing, but in some way we're taking the
672
00:53:35.719 --> 00:53:39.119
time to pause, to see the goodness, see the beauty,
673
00:53:39.739 --> 00:53:45.190
and honor it, to cultivate that spirit of namaste. And
674
00:53:45.250 --> 00:53:47.869
if we're in reactivity, then clearly we're not going to
675
00:53:48.250 --> 00:53:51.210
bypass that. We start there. Let the suffering be our
676
00:53:51.289 --> 00:53:58.210
portal back into presence and tenderness. And if we aren't
677
00:53:58.289 --> 00:54:03.989
suffering and we look towards the goodness, that namaste becomes
678
00:54:04.090 --> 00:54:08.250
more and more of a pathway to living from an
679
00:54:08.289 --> 00:54:13.030
awake heart. So I'd like to close with a brief reflection.
680
00:54:14.590 --> 00:54:18.519
You might take some moments to let the attention go inward.
681
00:54:26.289 --> 00:54:28.650
Take a few moments to let the breath help to
682
00:54:28.710 --> 00:54:44.400
collect your attention, perhaps a long deep breath. And then
683
00:54:44.440 --> 00:54:48.059
letting the breath be in its natural rhythm, feeling the
684
00:54:48.119 --> 00:54:52.960
breath at the heart. And you might sense a slight
685
00:54:53.039 --> 00:54:57.699
smile at the mouth and smile into the heart. So
686
00:54:57.719 --> 00:55:07.260
you can start to feel heart space. And bring to
687
00:55:07.340 --> 00:55:13.349
mind someone you love where the loving's fairly uncomplicated, where
688
00:55:13.389 --> 00:55:32.719
it's easy to feel your love for that person. And
689
00:55:32.760 --> 00:55:35.369
let that person be close in, in your mind, in
690
00:55:35.389 --> 00:55:41.869
your imagination. Feel them right here. Perhaps seeing what their
691
00:55:42.010 --> 00:55:48.230
eyes look like when they're smiling, when they're experiencing love
692
00:55:48.289 --> 00:55:55.860
for you, when they're happy. And sensing what you love
693
00:55:55.920 --> 00:56:01.119
about them, what their goodness is, how it expresses, whether
694
00:56:01.159 --> 00:56:13.730
it's through their humor, their bright mind, their generosity. Sense
695
00:56:13.750 --> 00:56:25.000
the awareness in that being, spirit. And you might mentally
696
00:56:25.059 --> 00:56:28.679
whisper or whisper out loud, thank you and I love you.
697
00:56:34.780 --> 00:56:40.000
And you might whisper it again. Just feeling the sincerity
698
00:56:40.059 --> 00:56:47.309
in your heart deepen. And you might even explore putting
699
00:56:47.349 --> 00:56:51.949
your palms together and imagining you and that person offering
700
00:56:51.989 --> 00:56:56.889
each other the blessing of Namaste. You know, I see
701
00:56:56.949 --> 00:57:24.199
the sacred. I see
the divine in you. and letting
702
00:57:24.699 --> 00:57:27.730
your attention go to the experience of your own being
703
00:57:27.789 --> 00:57:33.730
right now, perhaps a sense of tenderness or warmth, the
704
00:57:33.769 --> 00:57:41.489
heart space that's here. And sense a namaste, a bow,
705
00:57:43.170 --> 00:57:51.300
just honoring the goodness of what's living through you, who
706
00:57:51.340 --> 00:58:07.119
you are beyond any story of self. And you might
707
00:58:07.139 --> 00:58:10.210
bring to mind someone who you care about but where
708
00:58:10.250 --> 00:58:16.469
there's more challenge, more difficulty, more edges. Perhaps someone who
709
00:58:17.139 --> 00:58:35.989
brings up irritation or guilt or anxiety or judgment. And
710
00:58:36.010 --> 00:58:40.090
let yourself feel what gets brought up, whatever gets triggered,
711
00:58:40.150 --> 00:58:42.429
and just breathe with it and offer a gesture of
712
00:58:42.489 --> 00:59:08.500
kindness inwardly, acknowledging the spacesuit conditioning that's here. and looking
713
00:59:08.539 --> 00:59:13.320
more deeply. sensing you could look right into their eyes,
714
00:59:14.960 --> 00:59:20.199
sensing this person when they're happy, when they're feeling safe,
715
00:59:22.510 --> 00:59:27.650
when they're feeling love. Just to see past the spacesuit
716
00:59:27.710 --> 00:59:41.960
to the goodness that's there. And in the same way
717
00:59:42.019 --> 00:59:46.489
as before, you might imagine you and this person with
718
00:59:46.530 --> 00:59:55.150
your palms together, slight bow of the head, namaste, seeing,
719
00:59:55.989 --> 01:00:02.280
honoring the goodness, the basic goodness, the spirit that's here.
720
01:00:13.679 --> 01:00:17.500
And finally, you might bring to mind a non-human animal.
721
01:00:17.519 --> 01:00:35.570
Or it could be a tree, plant. And sensing the
722
01:00:35.630 --> 01:00:49.989
form of this being. and also the intrinsic aliveness, consciousness,
723
01:00:50.090 --> 01:01:03.090
spirit that lives through. And with tenderness, as you did before,
724
01:01:03.590 --> 01:01:27.559
that namaste, that honoring of the sacred, from Thomas Merton,
725
01:01:28.559 --> 01:01:32.000
it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty
726
01:01:32.059 --> 01:01:35.760
of their hearts, the depth of their hearts where neither
727
01:01:35.840 --> 01:01:40.889
sin nor knowledge could reach, the core of reality, the
728
01:01:40.909 --> 01:01:43.590
person that each one is in the eyes of the divine.
729
01:01:45.010 --> 01:01:47.949
If only they could see themselves as they really are,
730
01:01:48.150 --> 01:01:51.170
if only we could see each other that way all
731
01:01:51.230 --> 01:01:54.730
the time, there would be no more need for war,
732
01:01:55.590 --> 01:02:01.159
for hatred, for greed, for cruelty. I suppose the big
733
01:02:01.219 --> 01:02:04.639
problem would be that we would fall down and worship
734
01:02:04.940 --> 01:02:17.230
each other. As a way of closing, you might sense
735
01:02:17.269 --> 01:02:22.889
in the near future someone you might offer namaste to
736
01:02:25.090 --> 01:02:34.460
when you're together Just sense how pausing and seeing the
737
01:02:34.500 --> 01:02:42.110
goodness can wake up the hearts that are here, that
738
01:02:42.210 --> 01:02:45.610
can begin to bring freedom to us in our relationships
739
01:02:45.650 --> 01:02:59.260
with each other and healing to our world. Okay, my friends,
740
01:02:59.440 --> 01:03:02.219
if your eyes are closed, please feel free to open them.
741
01:03:02.239 --> 01:03:07.289
I want to thank you for your kind attention and
742
01:03:07.329 --> 01:03:12.269
wish you all the blessings of this path. A deep
743
01:03:12.730 --> 01:03:20.610
bow of namaste to each. Thank you.