บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ Back together

00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:29.280 Hercules Morse. 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:30.719 Bottomly pie. 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:31.759 I know this very well. 00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:33.120 My daughter's obsessed with this book. 00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:36.879 Yeah, I should know this, but I was just Scarface Claw. 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:38.240 Oh yeah. 00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:40.400 Blitzer Maloney. 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:41.680 Skinny and bony. 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.400 Schnitzel von Crum with a very low tongue. 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:47.199 Oh, that's brilliant. 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:50.400 That's if if I had twins, that'd be the other child. 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:52.960 Hercules Morse is as big as a horse. 00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:54.000 That's you, Harriet. 00:03:54.240 --> 00:03:54.719 That's me. 00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:57.599 I thought I thought I was small and I had no eyes. 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:01.599 Oh lot, you're blitz blitzer maloney, all skinny and bony. 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.039 I'll be Schnitzer von Crumb with a very low tongue. 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:05.840 Thank you. 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:11.680 No, you would be Blitzer von Tom with a very fat muff. 00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:14.319 Okay Harry's um Harry. 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:15.039 Harry. 00:04:15.599 --> 00:04:16.079 Harry. 00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:16.879 Lindsay. 00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:19.120 That's the cross between Harry and Larry. 00:04:19.279 --> 00:04:19.920 Lindsay earlier. 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:20.480 What did we say? 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:21.600 Oh, Fanny. 00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:24.160 Oh yeah, she says she never wears jeans because of Fanny's so fat. 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:25.759 Can't the material just bald it up? 00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:26.879 Yeah, but you say that about you. 00:04:26.959 --> 00:04:33.519 I've heard when when I said I'm doing a podcast with Harriet and Lindsay, they said, Oh what, Lindsay Santora with a massive fanny? 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:37.839 And I said, massive as in why they said no, not why, just very fat. 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:39.519 Voluptuous multiple people. 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:49.040 Why don't you have like you know, when kids have those baby grows with a flap that comes down, why don't you just get one of them and put an extra bit of material in and flap it up? 00:04:49.199 --> 00:04:50.800 Because it will look fucking mad. 00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:53.600 That's a matter of- And why am I wearing a baby grow? 00:04:53.680 --> 00:04:55.120 You're trying to get me in jeans? 00:04:55.360 --> 00:05:07.439 My brother is very like thrifty and vegan and ethical, and he split the bum of his jeans and he made my mum fix them, and the only way she could fix them was with a massive flap of denim. 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:11.199 This massive denim bum flap. 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:13.199 It was so funny, I've got a photo of it. 00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:14.240 Was it recent? 00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:15.439 It was about two years ago. 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:17.040 Oh my god, I thought he was a kid. 00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:20.480 He's like 30 years old, he's got a really good job. 00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:23.279 What's the relevance of vegan that he's got? 00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:26.399 Oh, he's just very ethical and doesn't like chucking stuff away and stuff like that. 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:27.680 He likes mends things. 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:27.920 Yeah. 00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:29.839 I think that's what vintage's for. 00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:32.160 Vintage makes me feel better about bugs. 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:32.720 Oh yeah. 00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:39.040 You were the you were the first person I ever knew to be on vintage, but I thought it was because am I right in saying this? 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:44.240 When it started, you you it wasn't things weren't post to you, you'd have to go to people's houses. 00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:45.279 I don't remember that. 00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:48.879 Yeah, because I remember saying to you, Oh, do you have to go to that person's house? 00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:51.199 And then you went, Oh no, I pay them extra to post it. 00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:54.079 Oh yeah, yeah, because I bought a teddy bear off there. 00:05:54.319 --> 00:06:00.240 But I've kind of left it by the bye, and then you two, well, Amy really has been the way whenever I'm like, where'd you get that from? 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:02.319 Amy, although I got this in the charity shop. 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:14.160 I really enjoyed your video where you were getting dressed, and first of all, congratulations on your hotbod and matching bra and pants. 00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:14.480 Thanks. 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:15.040 That was good. 00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:17.519 I haven't seen this video, it's the face of the town. 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:18.560 Honestly. 00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:22.800 Number two, thanks for showing a house as it should be. 00:06:22.959 --> 00:06:23.680 Not like Stacy. 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:26.399 I love Stacy Solomon, but her house is immaculate. 00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:28.000 Amy's like, what shall I wear? 00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:29.759 And you can see, like, the bed's not made. 00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:30.639 He's like, Thank you. 00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:31.199 A normal one. 00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:34.079 It's more than the bed's not made, it's an absolute shuttle, but yeah. 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:35.680 Yeah, but most people's lives are like that. 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:36.879 And then the nice dresses. 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:38.560 And I said, Where'd you get that dress from? 00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:39.600 Vinted. 00:06:39.759 --> 00:06:40.639 It's beautiful. 00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:42.720 Well, you won't be seeing Stacy anymore. 00:06:42.800 --> 00:06:46.079 She's she's stepping back from uh the celebrity world. 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:47.600 I thought she bought a farm. 00:06:47.839 --> 00:06:49.040 Yeah, that's why. 00:06:49.279 --> 00:06:51.279 Well, she'll be distilled on socials, won't she? 00:06:51.360

--> 00:06:51.519 Posting. 00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:55.120 No, she'll be growing her turnips, won't give you a second thought. 00:06:55.279 --> 00:06:57.600 She never gave me a thought in the first place, let alone. 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:00.000 Oh well like that. 00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:00.800 Her and Mrs. 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:02.720 Inch were friends, but I think they've fallen out. 00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:05.519 I can't imagine anyone falling out with Stacey Solomon. 00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:05.759 No. 00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:07.279 I don't know if they have fallen out. 00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:07.839 My daughter. 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:15.040 My youngest loves folding clothes and wanted to start a folding club because she loves clothes too. 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:16.079 I remember this, yeah. 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:24.720 And then I put about it on uh Instagram, and there's a woman called the Folding Lady who's a folding influencer and has written a book about how to fold. 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:28.319 Sent five copies of her book for my daughter and her friends. 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:30.639 And so have they all got them? 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:32.560 Well, none of the others really wanted them. 00:07:32.879 --> 00:07:34.319 Well, I didn't really offer them to them. 00:07:34.399 --> 00:07:36.079 I mean they're seven-year-old children. 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:39.360 But um well, if anyone's listening and they would like. 00:07:39.680 --> 00:07:40.800 Yeah, I've got some copies of it. 00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:42.000 It's actually a very good book. 00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:43.839 My daughter loves it and sits in bed reading it. 00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:47.600 I got her a special device, a plastic thing that she uses to fold. 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:50.319 She started a club with her friends and I've renamed it. 00:07:50.399 --> 00:07:52.879 I we kept renamed it Thora's Fun Club. 00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:55.680 I'm not sure everyone's gonna want to fold. 00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:56.160 Yeah. 00:07:56.399 --> 00:07:57.519 Some people might though. 00:07:58.079 --> 00:08:06.079 She could have a job doing like you know, the towels in hotels when they're like immaculate, like extravagant swans and like bears and things. 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:11.199 I'm always impressed with that because I just think, you know, I'm gonna wipe that on my fanny in a minute. 00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:12.240 So thank you. 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:13.360 It's a beautiful swan. 00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:15.920 But I do need to wipe it as a swan. 00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:19.360 I would I have and tried to remain as it was. 00:08:19.600 --> 00:08:26.959 Once uh in once in in Turkey, a waiter, I was like 22, I was on holiday with my parents. 00:08:27.199 --> 00:08:36.879 He made me a rose out of a napkin, you know, and was like, Oh, you beautiful woman, you know, at the table, and it was like a bit death. 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:41.120 But I got this rose, I was like, Thanks so much, and then I went to the toilet and I had the shit. 00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:45.200 I had to wipe my ass with this napkin rose. 00:08:45.519 --> 00:08:47.840 You just reminded me of a terrible story. 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:56.240 I was going into town on the train, and I used to be an emo, and she remember those fingerless gloves that had like chains on them. 00:08:56.399 --> 00:08:58.000 I had one of those on. 00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:05.440 Um, I I there's gotta be a photo somewhere, and as we were on the train, I was like, oh my god, I've got the shits. 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:15.919 So I went on to the toilet and I didn't have a new toilet roll, so I had to use my fingerless glove with the chain on and wipe it. 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:22.720 And then it was this was ages ago, so there was a window, and I just threw my quite shitty glove out the window off the train. 00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:28.240 So somewhere between Longbridge and New Street Station about 20 years ago. 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:38.960 If you found a shitty fingerless goth glove, there was you know that psychic man, Colin McLeod, that's that goes in my houses. 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:41.600 Oh no, that's Kevin McCloud. 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:42.159 Sorry. 00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:45.360 This is or maybe it's Colin Cloud, not Colin McCloud, I don't know. 00:09:45.440 --> 00:10:08.639 Anyway, so he once went on loose women and then was mind reading uh but incidentally enough, Stacey Solomon, and then it it he asked her to think of something, and then he goes, Oh, uh, when you last went to your brother's house, there were no toilet roll, and you lose used one of his socks, and then she was like mortified because it was true. 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:09.759 How do you know that? 00:10:09.919 --> 00:10:10.399 See what I mean? 00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:11.840 Spirits are real. 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:18.639 If your nan's gonna come back and tell you one thing, it was it will be that Stacy Solomon's wiped her ass with someone else's sock. 00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:19.600 Thank you. 00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:22.879 A message from spirit, especially for us. 00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:27.519 I don't want to talk to anyone dead, do you? 00:10:27.759 --> 00:10:28.080 No. 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:29.519 Do you believe in that kind of stuff? 00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:31.039 I do a bit, but not really. 00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:32.720 Like, I I'm I'm a bit sceptical. 00:10:32.799 --> 00:10:37.759 I like doing my tarot card and having my fortune read, but I'm still a bit like mmm. 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:39.519 But then my mum took me. 00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:43.039 Oh my god, have I told you something about the ghost, the ghost school? 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:45.360 The ghost go school. 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:55.759 Mum used to go to this class that was behind a scuba centre in um Reddit, and they would like practice their psychic abilities. 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:56.960 It's very interesting. 00:10:58.879 --> 00:11:02.879 Yeah, but they're all like

menopausal women called Julie, and it's me. 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:05.919 And I went with her for one of the sessions. 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:14.879 It was really weird, and they did all this stuff where you like open up your mind, and it was very, it was fun, and I was wasn't like poo-pooing it, but I was like, yes, just go along with it. 00:11:14.960 --> 00:11:24.480 And then one of the things I had to sit opposite this woman who I didn't know, and they were like, just say whatever comes to your head, and I was like, right, okay, I'm getting an S and an E. 00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:25.440 And she went, right. 00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:28.159 She was thinking of a specific person who had passed. 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:29.440 I was like, an S and an E. 00:11:29.600 --> 00:11:31.919 And she's like, right, and I was like, S A, S E, S A. 00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:34.799 And she was like, Well, the person I'm thinking of is called Shirley. 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:36.559 So I was like, Oh, okay. 00:11:36.799 --> 00:11:39.519 And then I was like, and she's not your mum, she's your aunt. 00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:44.960 I was just saying it, and she was like, Yeah, and I go, and she was a vet, and he went, No, she worked in a vet, so I was like, Oh, okay. 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:46.480 And she lived in a detached house. 00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:57.039 I was just throwing stuff out, and it was I don't know if the woman was disagreeing with me, but everything was landing, and I was like, That's when we find out, you're a fucking but I said like I said to my mummy Goldberg over that. 00:11:57.200 --> 00:11:58.320 I said, I'm not getting a voice. 00:11:59.919 --> 00:12:01.360 I'm not getting a voice in my head. 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:02.879 I'm just saying the first interact. 00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:11.600 I'm saying the first thing that pops into my brain, and it's not like you know, like Derek Korrad, Samuel was like, Oh Diana's here. 00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:15.519 It was like I just was like, okay, and essay's popped into my head. 00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:17.600 There wasn't like a and she was like, Have you got a message? 00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:24.240 And I was like, No, I haven't got a message, I've just been just She's like, Yes, yes, and it's Where's the gold buried? 00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:25.440 Uh I don't know. 00:12:25.679 --> 00:12:27.440 Everything's on it, she's gone. 00:12:27.679 --> 00:12:27.919 Yeah. 00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:29.519 I wasn't getting like a voice or anything. 00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:32.480 I was just saying the first thing that popped into my brain and it was all right. 00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:34.080 I want to do that class. 00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:35.039 I recognize it. 00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:37.759 Well, she stopped doing it now because she's moved to Bridge North, apparently. 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:38.799 Or is it Bridge North? 00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:41.120 I think I'm which she only because I get very good. 00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:43.120 I'm very I

think I get really good vibes. 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:49.120 I'm very good at like assessing people's vibes to a freakish degree. 00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:50.399 That's ADHD. 00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:55.120 I think I'm very But what's that got to do with summoning ghosties? 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:57.759 I know when people are baddies quite early on. 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:07.440 Yeah, but what if then someone's like, hello, i is there someone there, and you're like, yeah, Tony was a bank robber and he killed your mum. 00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:09.519 I've got to tell you about Edinburgh. 00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:21.840 So my flat was really nice, had lovely vibes, but my my daughter's room, like I was one of the nights because she had a double bed, I was sleeping in it, and um I could just hear this and I thought, oh, what is that? 00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:23.759 So I came out and I couldn't hear it anywhere else. 00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:24.320 I went back in. 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:26.480 I thought maybe it's just people rummaging around. 00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:31.120 And then I said, I said, if there's a ghost here, could you just say hello? 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:33.200 And then I heard doof and I went, Oh my god. 00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:36.080 But it was like I didn't feel scared like I normally would. 00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:50.799 So I just went on going to bed, and then and I don't know if I was dreaming this, but I felt like someone sat on my feet, you know, like someone sat on the bed, and then the the duvet fell on the floor, like it got pulled, and I was like, Right, I'm going back in my own bed now. 00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:53.919 My daughter can deal with this, my four-year-old daughter, yeah. 00:13:54.639 --> 00:14:00.159 But I got a vibe, it was nice, like a nice I I don't know. 00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:04.320 I was just like, I didn't feel like I was there's sometimes when you go somewhere and you're locking a dark. 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:11.120 I was just like, oh, this person's telling me what we're finding out is that you're quite spiritually gifted, but you're not gonna lazy anything. 00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:11.519 Exactly. 00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:14.159 Exactly that'll be awesome, exactly. 00:14:14.399 --> 00:14:22.320 You'll be like that, uh you know that uh the medium with Patricia Arquette and actually Harriet Dyer, the Australian actor. 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:32.000 Um and it's apparently based on a true story because she featured on uh one of the housewife programmes and pissed everyone off because she was like, Your husband's gonna leave you. 00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:43.919 But the this woman had a gift and she worked for the district attorney's office, and then uh what happened was people spirits that had that they'd had a usually a grisly death. 00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:58.000 Um, so and so they weren't at peace, they hadn't gone to the where they were gonna go, so there was unfinished business, so then they would communicate to this woman,

and then she'd communicate to the district attorney's office, and then often solve the crimes. 00:14:58.399 --> 00:14:59.120 You could do that. 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:01.120 No, but I'm not talking to ghosts. 00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:05.440 I do find it mad how like ghosts are never like in a caravan. 00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:05.759 Right. 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:06.960 Think now then. 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:08.320 Go on then, read me. 00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:09.679 I can't do it like that. 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:11.120 I have to open a gate or something. 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:12.480 Open the gate. 00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:15.519 Um there you go. 00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:17.120 Someone you've lost a shoe. 00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:19.519 No, there's a shoe, someone's thrown a shoe at you. 00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:23.360 Someone's thrown a shoe, someone's thrown something at you. 00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:24.879 That's really weird. 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:32.799 Because in the in the charity shop, sitcom throws a shoe at me. 00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:34.159 Yeah, that's just what came in my head. 00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:37.039 Yeah, but the chances, yeah, but a ghost hasn't thrown a shoe at you, ain't it? 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:37.840 No, but this is what I'm saying. 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:40.799 I'm not telling you a ghost, I'm telling you what comes in my head. 00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:42.159 And then that was really weird because. 00:15:42.639 --> 00:15:45.039 Yeah, but everyone could say they've had a shoe thrown at them. 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:48.960 Yeah, but recently not everyone could say they've had a shoe thrown at them. 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:51.200 Have you had a shoe thrown at you recently? 00:15:51.440 --> 00:15:52.480 I haven't either. 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:53.039 Thank you. 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:54.399 That's weird. 00:15:55.039 --> 00:15:57.919 I know, but that's just what happens. 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.159 I get but what fucking use is that? 00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:05.200 I've just told you you've had a shoe through her vibes off, she don't want it. 00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:08.240 She don't want it, she don't want me to tell her anything. 00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:12.320 How do you lost a key or a card? 00:16:13.519 --> 00:16:14.960 Lost will be Vaseline, but you know that. 00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:16.320 I lost my bank card. 00:16:16.559 --> 00:16:18.159 Well, maybe it's you then. 00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:19.919 Okay. 00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:22.799 I don't have anything useful. 00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:25.759 Oh my god, I think we need to pivot this podcast. 00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:28.799 But I'm not giving you anything fucking useful. 00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:30.879 I'm just telling you what's happened. 00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:35.279 Well, it's just proof in the in in I don't know. 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:35.679 Special. 00:16:36.879 --> 00:16:37.679 What fucking use is that? 00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:40.879 How big is my fanny? 00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:43.919 Smaller than mine, but bigger than Harriet's. 00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:52.720 I can't wait for the future when we've got ghosts like of our time. 00:16:52.799 --> 00:17:01.840 And I just want to be like, imagine going on the landing and watching someone just set a figure, and it'll be me running across the landing going, Where's my vape? 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:03.759 Love it. 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:04.720 What did we do? 00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:05.680 What fucking time? 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:08.079 Richard! Oh, he's gone. 00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:08.640 Useless. 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:09.440 Where is he? 00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:11.839 I don't know, he's not even starting the timer either. 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:12.720 Richard! 00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:15.200 Um You've really lapsed here, Richard. 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:15.680 Oh my god. 00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:17.519 There's no timer up. 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:19.440 You've just wandered off. 00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:22.079 Well, what else did you do in Edmonton that you didn't say last week? 00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:22.880 Anything of interest? 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:29.759 Um, I went to see it, it was my friend's 40th birthday, and I'd missed her actual party because I was in Edinburgh, so I took her out and she's my best mate of all time. 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:37.839 And it was lovely because we don't get to spend time with each other anymore because she works all the time, and I'm pissing about doing this, which is apparently a job. 00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:47.119 And um, we just went and had some drinks and then went and had a nice meal, and it was just a laugh, do you know, when you get to see someone that you just knows you from way back when? 00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:49.200 And um, but they've evolved. 00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:58.559 I find it weird because like she will like things that I like and I in her own entity in our own, but we come back together and go, Oh, I do this now, and she goes, Oh, me too. 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:00.799 Like, oh that's nice, that's nice. 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:02.319 And what did you have to eat? 00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:09.279 We had tapas and the patatas bravas was wet. 00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:10.960 Wet like wet. 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:14.799 Oh no, but it should be wet, wet potatoes, yeah. 00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:22.400 Lord help us all, oh and the rice was nice, but I felt like you know, like Uncle Ben's two minutes sticking the mark of rice. 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:23.920 But other than that, it was very delicious. 00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:26.400 Lovely tapas in Edinburgh, the Mr. 00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:27.039 Piggies, I think. 00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:27.759 No, it was Mr. 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:28.160 Piggies. 00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:30.240 It was called no Piggy, Mr. 00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:31.119 Piggy or something. 00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:33.359 No, maybe take the mist around, piggies. 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:35.599 Yes, that's and it was delicious. 00:18:36.480 -->

00:18:38.559 Okay, that's what she's done. 00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:42.319 No, I did that I've done that ages ago. 00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:45.119 I'm just looking for the responses for questions. 00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:46.240 What have you done, Amy? 00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.440 Um, I saw my friend Rachel. 00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:51.279 Oh, I now know Rachel. 00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:52.960 Yeah, her lovely baby. 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:57.759 Some pe some babies are born and they look like they're ready to go into trade. 00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:02.720 I was I was the longest baby ever born in Derby Hospital at that time. 00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:08.799 You know, Emma Hughes, she was born three and a half weeks early. 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:09.839 Or was it months? 00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:10.880 No, that's not right. 00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:16.079 Uh weeks, and she was£10 at three and a half weeks early. 00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:17.359 Bloody hell. 00:19:17.599 --> 00:19:30.480 When they when I was pregnant with May and they were measuring me, they were like, um, we're worried about going to full term because she looks like she's gonna be£12, but she was seven pounds, and she's a long little bitch. 00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:31.279 That's what she is. 00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:42.000 I get it wrong so much about how they like they said that my children like Salmo was gonna be big, and she was like six and a half pounds, she was tiny, and she was two weeks over due. 00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:45.519 God, so what are they measuring then? 00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:47.519 You've I don't who knows. 00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:52.400 They just get measuring tent and go, ooh, guided me. 00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:55.119 Yeah, yeah, that's it, really. 00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:56.160 That's what I've done, really. 00:19:56.240 --> 00:20:01.519 I've not done anything else because I've just been sorting my life out since Edinburgh, and um that's it. 00:20:01.759 --> 00:20:06.240 I've stayed around after gigs, uh, but that's about it, really. 00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:08.000 I've not done not done much. 00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:13.920 Uh I went straight back into gigging quite quickly, which was fine, yeah. 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:15.119 I've not done much. 00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:16.720 I like I like comedy again now. 00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:19.359 I've done a few more gigs back to normal. 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:24.400 She literally giggled with someone so awful that it made her enjoy comedy again. 00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:25.200 Yeah. 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:26.400 Really? 00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:27.599 Why? 00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:33.039 Because it was so shit that I thought, fucking hell, I'm talented. 00:20:33.759 --> 00:20:34.720 I know what you mean. 00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:35.039 Yeah. 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:42.400 I always say that when I teach comedy, like I always say to people, you go into an open mic and you won't be scared of the body. 00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:46.079 Yeah, that's what I think because some people are so bad. 00:20:46.319 --> 00:20:46.960 Oh yeah. 00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:52.240 And the self-importance often of those people is mad. 00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:54.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:20:54.559 --> 00:20:59.920 Of like, I'm like, oh my god, how can you do you have eyes and ears? 00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:00.880 Are you alright? 00:21:01.039 --> 00:21:02.000 But do you know what? 00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:02.799 Off you go. 00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:11.200 Like when they like blame the audience for something not working, or they're like too not ready for this or two so you didn't get that one. 00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:12.720 We got it, it was shy. 00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:13.599 Yeah, yeah. 00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:18.799 It's just like no punchline, but lots of lots of uh lots of confidence. 00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:23.839 It's the stage persona of uh whatever the fuck it was. 00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:25.839 Have you done anything this week? 00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:29.359 When I saw my friend Rachel, ate a lot of her cherry tomatoes. 00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:32.720 Um children went back to school. 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:33.599 Yes. 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:37.200 Uh they've coped Touchwood surprisingly well. 00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:50.559 I was a bit worried that it would be you know what it's like when they get back, it starts off like the first couple of days is exciting because there's a new teacher and like seeing their friends again, and then it's like a slump of the reality of being back at school, which I do not blame them. 00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:54.720 I would not go back to school again for all the tea in China. 00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:59.759 Just I don't know if yours are the same, but when May May's gone back. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:05.440 And when she comes out of school, it's like she must be holding in something. 00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:11.839 Because she comes back and she's like and she won't go to bed and she's arguing and she's pushing boundaries. 00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:15.200 And do you think it's just because they're a I know, it's weird though, isn't it? 00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:20.319 Like schools are weird, like it's so institutionalized and like old fashioned. 00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:21.279 Yeah, so old. 00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:25.519 It needs even though my daughter's school is pretty relaxed, it still is so old-fashioned. 00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:31.279 Like at secondary schools, my my my friend's daughter goes and they're so strict about them wearing like shirts and ties. 00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:32.240 Who cares, mate? 00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:34.319 It's so uncomfortable all day at some poor. 00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:44.960 The kid the amount of time that were my stepsons, the the they would be in so much trouble because their their hair was a grade too short and stuff like that. 00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:46.480 Oh, grow up. 00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:48.079 Jesus Christ. 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:59.839 Teach kids about savings and money and

taxes, please, because that will help them rather than knowing how to fucking deduct an asshole by pie. 00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:01.200 God bless! 00:23:01.599 --> 00:23:04.160 Yeah, and a whole term on fucking buffaloes. 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:04.960 What? 00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:07.279 Yeah, that's that's what made me who I am. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:08.079 Buffalo. 00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:08.640 Yeah. 00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:12.559 I did the ancient Egyptians and the Tudors, but didn't you feel like you did that? 00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:13.680 I did them on rotation. 00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:15.599 No, I was just very buffalo heavy. 00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:18.480 Buffalo, that's corporal for you, bloody hell. 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:20.400 I don't know, somebody's gonna complain about that. 00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:24.079 It's like the bloody zoo, everything's mixed with a weird animal. 00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:28.880 Like honestly, it's like a wolf mixed with an emu and stuff. 00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:33.119 Right, I've got a list of story that's related to the six weeks holiday. 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:35.440 We've got to a bit late, my apologies. 00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:41.680 It's the six weeks' holidays, and my annoying relatives keep coming round with their snotty kids. 00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:46.240 How do I maintain my boundaries without looking like an arsehole? 00:23:46.319 --> 00:23:47.680 Well, they've actually said monster. 00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:48.559 I've said arsehole. 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:49.759 Looking like a monster. 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:51.839 Yeah, so they're coming round with their kids. 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:54.480 Working from home is still working. 00:23:54.799 --> 00:23:55.359 Denise. 00:23:56.079 --> 00:23:58.640 Explanation mark, explanation mark, explanation. 00:23:59.039 --> 00:23:59.599 Explanation. 00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:01.440 I've lost the meaning of the word. 00:24:01.759 --> 00:24:03.599 Exclamation mark. 00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:04.240 Yeah. 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:21.039 So how do you maintain boundaries if you're working from this was what happens to me because sometimes I'll be try trying to I know like technically as a comedian you work in the evening, but if you're doing admin or like I'm trying to write like something and I'm I'm working, do you know what I mean? 00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:24.079 So what is it that they're just coming around unwanted? 00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:25.920 Yeah, and she's trying to work from home. 00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:27.599 Well, you just have to tell them. 00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:29.839 No, pretend you're not in. 00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:31.039 Yeah, that's true. 00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:32.880 Just hide behind your social. 00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:34.880 I never lie about anything really. 00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:35.519 Well, no. 00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:38.880 So I probably just say, I can't cope. 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:39.920 You need to go away. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.960 Like that's a good that's I think that's the best way to be. 00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:44.720 Excuse me, I cannot cope. 00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:47.599 I've reached my capacity of humanity. 00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:49.119 I'm just having a mental breakdown. 00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:50.559 I'm just saying, I'm having a mental breakdown. 00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:51.519 It's too much for me. 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:52.880 I'm a bit stressed with work. 00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:53.599 Fuck off. 00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:56.240 I love seeing you come I see you next week. 00:24:56.559 --> 00:25:05.440 Marvin's mum would have someone come round, eat a whole jar of her beetroot, and then she'd be like, She needs to fucking watch herself or a fucking body slammer. 00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:08.480 So you could also, you could always say beetroot again, you said that. 00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:09.359 I like the way you said that. 00:25:09.519 --> 00:25:10.319 Beet root. 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:12.160 Don't you think that's nice? 00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:14.640 Beet beetroot, beetroot, beetroot. 00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:15.359 Do you know? 00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:16.319 Is it vinta? 00:25:16.799 --> 00:25:20.400 Sorry, that this is a conversation for nothing and everything. 00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:22.240 Vim toe or vintage. 00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:23.119 Vim toe. 00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:23.839 Vim. 00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:24.799 Oh, I say vin. 00:25:25.119 --> 00:25:25.359 Vim. 00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:27.200 Like short for vinny. 00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:28.319 Like a Vinto. 00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:29.759 Like a glass of Vin Vinto. 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:31.039 Vincent Toad. 00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:31.839 Vincent. 00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:33.039 Esquire. 00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:45.839 So the moral of the story is tell people to you can either tell them to fuck off, you can pretend you're not in, or Amy Mason, which I think is the best. 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:50.559 It's just tell them you're having a mental breakdown and they need to leave, which I think is fair. 00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:53.279 Tell them you are unwell. 00:25:53.519 --> 00:26:02.319 I think if you I think that like there's a lot of stuff about boundaries where people who've been to a lot of therapy and then they're quite rude to you about boundaries. 00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:04.000 They're like, I need to set a boundary. 00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:12.640 I think if you set a boundary from a place of truth and vulnerability and say, I really need this because of this, you think you don't seem like an asshole. 00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.960 I really need to work to pay my mortgage. 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:15.200 Yeah. 00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:16.240 Get out. 00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:16.720 Yeah. 00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:17.519 Yeah. 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:18.880 Social muff of the week. 00:26:20.319 --> 00:26:20.640 You. 00:26:20.880 --> 00:26:21.279 Thank you. 00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:22.319 I knew it was. 00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:23.680 I was just waiting. 00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:27.920 Shall we uh reconvene in a week's time? 00:26:28.160 --> 00:26:28.960 Bon voyage. 00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:29.839 Bonvoyage. 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:32.960 Remember, I always know what happened in your past. 00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:34.880 And it's useless information. 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:39.039 Harry McLaren from Donaldson. 00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:41.279 I love you.