บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ I Lost $4,000 to Wayne Gretzky's Wife on a Golf Course

if I was friends with you, I'd call you No, let's I'd either call you Zuby or Z. It's try it. How would you pronounce it? Zub you Zoob Chetzvic. Chetzvic. Is he breaking up? He's breaking up on mine. I don't know. He's breaking up a little bit, but he's he's Breaking up he's still messing it up, like how do you say it? Zubchevitz. Zubchevitz. Okay, that makes sense. Zubchevitz. What what nationality is that? I'm thinking Russian. Yug Yugoslavia. Yugoslavia, nice, all right. Yugoslavia, yeah. You should you should get that 'cause Keith, we're hockey friends. Bertley's big hockey guy. There's a lot of Yugoslavia and Slavic names and you should be able to get that one. Bert Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah. I was messing that up a little bit. So Burke, Keith is actually my old boss. He used to work at Conviva, as you can see in his background. we also used to talk golf. Keith was a big golfer. I would say, Keith, would you agree you've gone in and out of seasons of golf? Yeah, golf I don't play golf. Golf plays me. I I get that. One hundred percent. Where are you Nowadays with your golf game, I think you're getting back into it, yeah? Yeah, my wife is golf junkie, man. She'd hit the range three days a week if she could. She loves playing, so she gets me out more and more now. Obviously, work schedules the challenge. But we try and sneak away a Friday afternoon here and there. and you know, get out for some golf. If we get good course times, I'll take a day off here and there to get out and play. What are you playing out there mostly? we played we play a lot at Harding Park. I love that course. Keith, where are you? And then we play I'm in Bay Area in Foster City. Bay area, Foster City. So is that near Oakland, Sacramento? Where's it near? No, it's near San Francisco, right south of San Francisco. Between San Francisco and San Jose. Yeah, halfway down the peninsula. And then we I got to play Pasatiempo two weeks ago. And did you play with Chris? No, I played with my wife and and man that course is possessed with demons, man. I'm never going back there again. Never ever ever Going back to Pasatiempo again. How many balls you lose? That's Roach's home course. He always brags about it. What happened? Who's co whose home course? That's Roach's home course. He always brags about it. man. First of all, it's expensive. It's crazy expensive. Like five fifty around? Uh-huh. And then I got a caddy 'cause I'm like, I'll try and walk it. That course is possessed, man. I'm telling you. There's something about it that it doesn't look hard, but when you're done, you're exhausted and you've got a hundred and five. It's cra I do not I cannot explain it, but it is not enjoyable. That is not enjoyable. No. No That's so interesting. That's good for the viewers to know. Yeah, I I don't like that either. I do not like that either, Keith. Remember Bert, you remember Chris Roach the Porter Road? yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's his that's his home course. That's where he wanted to

take us. Is he a member there? Yeah, he's a member there. No kidding. my god. I don't man, I know how Chris plays. I know his game and there's no way there's no way he's played it well. There's no way. No way, man. Like that course that course eats your soul. I'm telling you, it's possessed by demons, I'm convinced. It's got demons on it. Well he's gonna watch this, he's gonna he's gonna have a ride. Yeah. Yeah, it's possessed. So what are you what are you game what are you and your wife gaming these days? Like what what's your what's your head gaps? You know, I don't really keep one anymore. I I because I don't play s regularly, like I you know, I get out, try and just hit the ball, find it, hit it again. So, you know, I still hit it a long way. So that's the the upside is if I do hit it well, I I usually score pretty well. But then I don't and you know, I'm six, seven eighths, you know, getting in. So it's it's hit or miss for me, so I don't keep an index. My wife really doesn't either, but like we played Harding the couple a few weeks ago. She beat me by straight up. She plays the red. So first of all, let explain something here. My wife can hit a driver 230, 240 regularly down the middle. It's incredible. And then she's left-handed, but she plays right-handed. So her wedge her wedge game is sick. Like because her pull hand is the strong hand, not the one that we do where we drive the face of the club into the ground when we try and hit chip shots. Yeah. So it's just like Mickelson. She's the opposite of Mickelson, where she's left-handed playing right, Phil's right playing left. So she hits the ball a mile off the T for a woman off the reds. Uh-huh. And then and then if she gets it anywhere around the greens, she's up and down. It's insane. She's so good. So she shot forty at the front nine at Harding Park, beat me by I had a bad day. I I think I shot forty six, forty seven. So she beat me by five, six or seven. Does she work with you? Does she work with you? No, she she she watches our kid. We have a son, four year old. Because I saw you when you were talking about my wife. You kind of looked over him thinking like you didn't want her to hear what you were talking about. No, no, I just wanted to break that down for you guys. When I talk about golf and my wife, my wife is not a typical wife golfer. So she's she by the way, she'll play in two and a half. Like she'll get around a course in two and a half. It's she is she she's the ideal golf wife. Like she is ideal. So plays fast, hits it a mile, great short game, puts, picks it up, let's go to the next one. Now do you guys bet or is the bragging rights enough between you two? No, here well we've only bet one time. And I'll give you the story. We were playing in Marcus Allen's tournament. And it was me, Tyler, my wife, Marcus, and Namad Rashad. It was a five sum. And we're we step up to a par five and I you know I played thousands of rounds of golf with Marcus. Like we we we had a standing tea

time for literally years, every week. Which is a funny story in itself. The Alonzo Morning, Richard Dent, you know, Ronnie Lott. Lor I played thirty six holes with Lawrence Taylor on my birthday, like crazy stories. Which a whole nother a whole nother segment of of this show. So we get up to a par five and Marcus is like, Hey, why don't we put twenty bucks on the hole? Everybody will play. And Jess will give you two sh two strokes. 'Cause it's a par five. And I'm like, No, no, no, no, I'm I'm a husband and I have two strokes. Like, what are you talking about? And they're like, nah, nah, we'll give her two strokes. I'm like, She's hitting from the reds and you're giving her two strokes. So They're like, no, let's do it. So she obviously smoked the drive. She hits like two forty. She hit a four hybrid green side, chipped over a bunker and tapped it in for for a birdie net eagle. Birdie net albatross, birdie net albatross, 'cause she got two strokes. Yeah. So she got she beat us with a birdie net albatross. And I look at Marcus, I'm like, I told you. I told you. I told you. So I don't I don't bet my wife, man. She would She would kick my ass, so Okay, so tell me how you have all these relationships with all these athletes. What what's going on? What's the backstory there? N I had a you know, just previous life experiences and came across Marcus and I met at an event and you know, he said, Hey, let's play golf. So we did. And man, we just hit it off. He's like a brother to me now. We like I said, we play all the time together. Now he lives in Atlanta. Keith used to live down here, Burke. And you're you're in the same country club or something, is that correct? I met him through my ex wife. So, you know, Carrie, you know the story. I previously married And she you know, she knew a lot of people, but anyway, sh I met Marcus through her and then we just became really good friends and like I said, we played golf all the time and and i every every week it would be like like I said, hey hey Keith, I'm gonna bring Alonzo. I'm like, Who's Alonzo? Morning. I'm gonna bring Richard. That was Richard Dan and then he said L T and it was a funny story 'cause it was my birthday. And he's like, I'm gonna bring L T to play with us today. And and I I thought he meant Ladanian Tomlins. Yeah. I didn't I'm not And so I meet Lawrence at the clubhouse and I I've never I've never been afraid of another human. Like he's he's so big and he's so intimidating. Like in his reputation, I was like afraid. And and I played like three holes. This is back when I was a four. So I was I was a stick when we were playing back then. And and I it took me like three holes to hit a ball. I couldn't hit a ball. I was just it was I was so intimidated by him. But finally he you know, he came over and he's like, Man, is is this how you play? And he was shooting the shit, talking, you know, talking shit. And then Marcus was like, Nah, man, he's not hitting it well at all. So then I finally relaxed. We played great, and he wanted to play another eighteen. So we played thirty-six at Angeles National, if you've ever played out there. Mm-hmm. Angeles National crazy hard course, like target golf, long seventy-two fifty from the tips, like there's two hundred and thirty-yard carries on some of the T shots, blind, you know, drives. Never he had never seen the course before, and he shot seventy-one sixty-nine. Marcus Lawrence Taylor did, yes. Probably one of the best golfers I've ever played with. Thirty-six holes, no lunch in between, alternating between cigars and cigarettes. He would use he'd use the smoke a cigar, inhaling cigars, by the way, and then he would light a cigarette and smoke cigarettes. Chain smoking for 36 holes, no food, shot seventy-one sixty-nine from the tips at Angelo. Wow, I never heard of like these football guys being good golfers because they're usually they're so big they don't know. No, he's he is, but he man, talk about just ripping balls, just down center, dialing in wedges, shot you know, right at pins. And he had this weird thing where he would spin but he'd get the club behind the ball and he would like spin it a couple of times. And then he would just take it back like halfway because he's so big and strong. He didn't even get a full backswing and just jumped on it. Absolutely jumped on it and ripped it. It was it was amazing to watch. We had a blast. We had a great time. But that that goes down as one of my funniest coughs. here's the funny part of the story, by the way. So we're on a par four, and Marcus is down behind this little hill. And so Marcus says, Keith, go give me my line so I know where to hit this. So I go up on the hill and I'm standing between him and the hole. He can't see the hole. There's guys putting. They're putting out. So on the green. So I said, Right here. And and and I thought he said right there. And but he what he yelled was, is it clear? so I said I said, Yeah, thinking he said right there. So then he hits. I'm standing on top of the hill and I'm I'm like, sh like and I look and he Marcus is a great player too. So he right at the flag, and these dudes are putting around the green, and they're one of them is putting, and the ball falls right behind him on the green, like within two feet him. And these dudes sit up and they're like, you they of course give you the What the fuck? What the fuck? What the and they're yelling and so and then so mo so LT says I'll run up and apologize. So you see LT go driving up to the building and he gets out of the cart and you see these guys like what shake hands. He immediately went for like shake hands. So they're they're they're they're like shaking hands and like these dudes are blow so he comes back and Marcus says, you know, what did they say? And I go Marcus, what do you think they said? Lawrence Taylor just drove up to them on a green and said Marcus Allen almost hit you with his ball. That's day that's a day that they will never forget.

Like that's not a problem. Like they're not mad. Like that that that goes down in the history books. Yeah. Yeah. So that was that was the funny part of the day. That's hilarious. That's awesome. That is hilarious. Keith, I'm sure you've been on some benders. Not benders necessarily, but like golf trips, right? So that that's the focus of this one. What's like the where's the your best memory golf trip that you've been on? Man, I have a couple actually. So one is I one I just took. So I my Tyler, my son and my wife, they both are a year a day apart in their birthdays. So Tyler's go birthday's ju july sixteenth and and Jess's July seventeenth. So I was thinking, like, what am I gonna do for their birthdays? And I decided, well I'll put a Pebble Beach golf weekend together. So we'll we'll go to Pebble. I got, you know, two rooms on the eighteenth fairway looking out over the bay right there as you come walking up eighteenth. And then I booked Spyglass on Saturday and Pebble on Sunday. And man, what an amazing that that just doesn't get better than that. Well you played there before, yeah? Okay. Yeah, yeah. But the weather was perfect. You know, the the the conditions were perfect. Like there's just when you get that place in in a good on good days, man, there's just nothing like it. So it was a full weekend of us just going up there. We hung out. We had dinner on Friday night, got up Saturday, breakfast, went out and walked and played spyglass and then same thing. Sunday woke up, had breakfast and then walked and played Pebble. And man, it was incredible. So as far as inexperience is concerned, you know, I've played places like Kiowa Island. I've I've played out there, I've played I've played what is it in Atlanta? was it Lakeside? Lakeside I don't know. Where they played the tour championship Atlanta. Well they play the tour championship. So I've played I've played some cool courses like a around the country, just sort of go and play for the day. But as far as like an immersive golf experience, man, a weekend of spyglass in Pebble doesn't get much better than that. Do you think it's it's worth the price? yeah. yeah. yeah. Yeah, for sure. Without a doubt. I mean the the whole thing, 'cause you know, they make you stay at Pebble, the lodge now too, so it's a lot harder and you to stay at the lodge. But man, if you want to just roll out the golf red carpet really do a trip well. So that was yeah, ca we we get different perspectives on like, yeah, Pebble is so beautiful, it's so so historic. Is it but is it is it really worth that that seventy hundred dollars or whatever two time plus the stain there and everything. It was crazy. But it was worth it. I gotta say it was worth it. And and all of us agreed. Like my w Jess on the fifteenth hole on Sunday at Pebble was like, I don't want this to end. Like we she wanted the weekend to keep going. It was that that magical. It was really cool. I think a lot of it has to do with you know the condition of the course and the weather. If if you get bad weather, man, it there's it's gonna it would be horrible. Like if it's drizzling, if it's cold, if it's rainy, or if it's windy. Man, we we had overcast sixty five to seventy five degree days. Like it was perfect. P absolutely perfect. Mm-hmm. So and the conditions were were impeccable. It was really and then our caddy, we had great caddies. So every all over all the way around, great rooms, all the way around it worked out. But I can see where if you get it on a bad day or if you get something wrong it would probably be miserable. You that's the stuff that I've got to deal with when I have to go off with Carrie. It's like whenever I look for any tea times or anything, I've got to check the weather and everything has got to be pristine. Because we showed up one time and hunting the beach. Hunting the beach normally has some great weather, right? you know, but we got it, we got, you know, Carrie wants to golf at frickin' 4 30 a.m. Place ain't even open. We're jumping over the fence. We're getting there so goddamn early, right? Yeah, it's got a little little little little bit of a chill. This freaking guy gets there is a little misty. He left! He left after the first hole. He's bougie. He's so bougie, it's not even funny. Not even funny. I was so p I'm like, dude, are you kidding me? You leave? it's yeah, I have to have conditions. I can't I can't have any bad conditions. So we're not going to Ireland for our trip. Not going to Scotland. You know what I mean? Like all up. Keith, because that's like you don't want to pay off the I heard not. I hear you. I hear you. You gotta go to Hawaii, man. You gotta pick Hawaii, Scottsdale, Miami. Like you gotta stick to the stick to the rivers and lakes you you're used to, man. Don't be going Here's another here's another pet peeve of mine. How do you feel about your golf attire? Starting from your shoes all the way to your hat. How do you what do you what how are you sporting? Are you are you sporting a golf pair of shoes that you got in college that you haven't even wiped them down? They got the dirt, dust, mud on them. You're sitting there walking on the green and you got shit coming off your freak like you're some goddamn you're you're you're like a cement guy. You know what the hell? Tell me what what's your what's your what's your get up? man, you don't want to ask me, I'm a shoe guy. So first of all, I'm a I'm a shoe guy. My dad always told me you can tell a lot of men about a man by his shoes and his fingernails. So I've lived by that forever. So I my eye for my eye for shoes is like I have I'll I'll bring it down for you. So I I Jor Carrie knows this. I'm a big Jordan guy. So I probably have, I don't know, a hundred, a hundred and ten pair of Jordans in in my closet at home. But I have about fifty Jordan golf shoes. So I have about fifty Jordan golf shoes. So whenever you see me golf, there's a couple things you can be guaranteed of. Once a shoe starts wearing

out, you won't see them on my feet. But then I'm also I'm a big fan of I'm a big fan of like, you know, looking the part. Like I I w at least so here's my philosophy. I I'm gonna wear like great Jordan golf shoes. I'm gonna be wearing some cool slacks, you know, a great colored, you know, usually a Tiger Woods or a Nike golf shirt, sometimes a Jordan golf shirt. And a bucket hat. I have a bunch of Jordan bucket hats. So I'm Jordaned out on the golf course usually. But the reason I do that is because if you see me tee off and or you see me around the clubhouse, I look like I can play. But then you see me on the course, and it's a whole different story. But at least all the main it's only three people know I can't play. But if you see me in the clubhouse, I look like a player. And that's the total key. I look good, man. I look I love that. I love that. So Carrie says he's he He's going on a golf trip. He's going on a golf trip. He he he is would you rather if I mean this is a white man can't jump. Would you rather look good and and then disappoint or just come in under promise and over deliver? No I wanna look good. I wanna look good. I wanna look good. That's that's not how a salesman gets the job. That's not how he that's not how he freaking mashes someone. You go in there and you got your fingernails looking, you're in your Mount Blanc pen, you got a nice suit on, your shoes are signed. That's how you get the job. You got reset. You walk in there, you're I'm gonna be the guest pro today, and you got some ratty ass freaking gray okay, gray, but gray freaking shoes that haven't been wiped down in a in a in six goddamn rounds. And you're telling me that's good? Come on. And then he says, Hey, look, hey, hey, keep then he goes, I'm showing like He goes, I got three golf shoes. You just said right now you got fifty. I got about fifty two. I got three golf shoes and they're all gray. Get out of here yeah, no, that is not me, man. That is not me. If I walk up, I wanna look the part. I want people to be Not even before I even swing a club, I want people to be able I think keep out all that from golfing with all the black dudes because you know the black dudes are like, Man, you better look good. You ain't coming on this course looking all like a jackass. Take your ass back to Okie Dope. Get out, go get yourself some damn shoes before you come out here with us. gosh. Hey, I go all the way to the ball, man. I hit I only hit certain golf balls. Like I have I I I I t I personalize all my titles. So you you know, you can go to the website, you can personalize. So if you ever see me play, all I hit are titless twenties, because my birthday is May twentieth. So I have all titless twenties. And on one side you have Jay-Z, which is my wife's initials, and on the other side you have K Z. Every ball. I don't I don't ever play a different ball. If I'm out of those balls, by the way, if I get to the course and I don't have any in the bag, I'm going home. I love that

you say that. I don't have my ball. I love that you say that. Because look, these are the balls I just ordered. Golf happy, and it's got me and Carrie's face on the ball. Sick golf chips, that's what I just ordered. Baby Come on now. What brand are they, Bert? Vice brand are they? Vice Pro Pro Ones, the top of the line ball. I ain't messing around, Keys. I ain't messing around, buddy. Yeah, no, that's gol golf is g golf is too much of an experience to half ask. I'm with you. If you're playing the right courses, man, you gotta have the right shoes, you gotta have the right clothes, and you gotta have the right ball. You might as well go all. You're my man, you're my man, Keith. I'm telling you, you are Monsieur. We gotta go off together. I do nothing half-assed. We gotta go off together. I do nothing half-assed. He doesn't do anything half-assed. Whereas I'm I'm hand-me-down clubs, free shoes, or if not Timu, maybe. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Yeah. What what other trips, Keith, have have you been on that have been memorable? Man, th I mean, like I said, there's a ton of courses I've been able to been fortunate enough to play. But one trip that that was super memorable, and it was when I early in my career I used to work for a company called Storage Tech, and they used to sponsor the international at Castle Pines. And they had a house on the eighteenth Fairway, be big huge mansion on the eighteenth fairway. Where where is Castle Pines? In Denver, in Colorado. Okay. And for for your golf fans that are really old, that remember the international It was a huge tournament. Stableford format, it was the only Stableford format tournament. All the big players played it every year. And so I was early career young sales rep and s and so they said, Hey, come up to the international, we entertain customers. And so I did. And when I and it was a whole golf week. So you got to play all the courses in the area, you got to go for the whole week the whole the during the tournament. And then the Pro Am was Wednesday, the tournament started Thursday, Friday, and you can go to the tournament, you can go play if you wanted. So it's really a customer entertainment thing. And so I got there and I went to the event on Wednesday and they said, Here's a pass. It gets you in the practice facility, practice area, driving range, practice putting, and it gets you in the clubhouse. And so here you you can kind of walk around. This is what this is probably I don't even know, 30 years ago, something like that, twenty five, thirty years ago. Yeah, Stableford that that's that's great. And if you knew they played Stableford at tournaments, that's probably yeah. No, it was big, it was huge too. And so Tiger was playing in it. It was the first year he'd played in this tournament. And he had just won his first masters. So Of course all everybody's there to get a shot of tiger and to watch tiger. And so I walk up into the practice putting area because I could get there with my pass and and then here comes Tiger. And of course everybody's now stacked around this green. And I'm standing there and as they it was a s shotgun start. So they called the players to their carts. So they all leave the pr putting green and it's me, fluff and tiger. Only three people standing on this putting green, surrounded by like a thousand, two thousand people. And so I'm standing there as tigers putting five feet in front of me and I strike up small talk, of course, as a you know, why not? So I start asking questions, you ever played the course? Never played the course before. what do you think? He's like, I don't think I get the distance because I don't hit a high ball flight, so I I don't get necessarily the the mountain qu high elevation advantage, so we'll see. And then I start, you know, small talk and fluff. And And this is when he's like what, y young twenties, right? No, no, I yeah, it very early. Like I said, he won first masters. That's all he have at this point. And so and I'm the same thing, I'm in my twenties. Like we're you know, we're both standing there looking like kids. And when they called him to the first T, which is where he was teeing off in the shotgun start, of course, Fluff goes, You wanna walk with us? And I was like, Yeah. So I you know, walk like I like I like I belong there. So I walk with him to the first T and he hits his first drive left down this first hole was a long part five, probably five fifty, five ninety-five. About four hundred of it is d straight and then it sort of juts to the left. And so it's a blind shot until you everybody has to lay up, unless you know the course and you can go over the trees. And so he's left and we walk down the first fairway and I'm waiting for somebody to tell me to get you know get on the other side of the ropes. But my pass looks kind of official, so I don't think anybody thought about it. And so I'm I I'm watching him get I get to watch him play the first hole and he's two like seventy-nine out, and he's on the left side of the fairway. And you cannot see the green. It's on the other side of this big huge woods area. So the dog leg is all woods. You can't see through it. All he knows is Fluff gives him kind of the line over the tree that he needs to go over to get to the flag. That's all Tiger knows. He's never played this hole before. He's never seen the green. And he smokes it over that part of the tree, dead straight. And the ball disappears and you hear a roar come off the other side. And so Tiger looks back at Fluff and says, I think I got it close. So we walk down. Now these other guys in his group are having to lay up and then go in on the short iron. We walk and turn the corner. He's hit it within two feet of a hole he's never seen before, aiming over a specific tree for a tapping eagle. And I and I'm just like, this is and I got net net. I got to walk three holes before somebody went, Hey, who are you? And I had to get I had to get on the other side of the

ropes. So I looked and j and I said, Tiger, if we can get a picture later, because I didn't get a picture, I didn't get anything. So I said, Can we get a picture later? And he's like, Yeah, you know, in the locker room. So I go, I'm walking around the rest of the day. I got in the locker room. I don't even know if I was supposed to be in the locker room either, by the way. I I just walked around like I own the place. And I always tell people, if you're gonna do something you don't shouldn't be doing, act like you should be. Like act like you belong there. No question. you looked apart. You looked apart, I guarantee that. I looked apart, I had my golf gear on. yeah. I had my golf gear on. I was I had just come back from playing, so I had I had They would have saw Carrie, they would have saw Carrie in his freaking Shoes that someone gave them, they're all dirty. They yo, bro, get the hell out of here. I don't care if you're related to a tiger. You can get the hell out of here. So I so I I'm I'm I'm wasting time spending time walking around and and I and I go up to the clubhouse. And so I'm and I'm I'm eating lunch in the in the players' locker room, by the way. So when I say I'm in the players' locker room, I'm eating lunch. I'm grabbing food. The milkshakes there were like world famous. So I'm like, I gotta try this milkshake. I have milkshake. I'm sitting at this big, huge table that overlooked this. Huge bay window over the eighteenth green, and I'm having lunch next to Phil Mickelson at the table, because he's having lunch and he had just finished, so he's eating at this table. And by the way, looking at belts, so there's all kinds of people trying to sell shit to the players in there. And then you see this throng of people come over the hill. It's like Michael Jackson video. Like you just goes from like a hundred people on each side of the fairway to like a thousand people on each side of the fairway. And you know, and someone in the locker room said, here comes Tiger, and sure enough. This massive throng of people comes over the hill on eighteen and then you see Tiger in his, you know, coming over the hill. And he finished up. And so I kind of put my so he had locker in the locker room. So right by the door. So as he's coming in, I figured, shit, you know, I'm gonna try and get this photo. So I go over by his locker and and he's got security and they're getting him in and out. They're like everybody step back and so I'm already back in the covey that his locker was in. And he's standing there, I'm like, Hey, can we get that can we get the photo? And he's like, Yeah. And this dude ran this is before iPhones, by the way. So this is you need like a camera. I needed somebody in there that had a camera. I didn't have a camera on me. And this dude had a camera. So I said, Hey, can you take this picture? And the guy's like, Hell yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he gets to come through the security, snaps this picture of me and Tiger standing there, which

I still have to this day. And we look like we're like twenty-five year old kids. And then they then they ran him out of the out of the locker room. And so I still have that picture on in my bedroom of me and him. Standing in that locker room looking like I said, like twenty five year old kids. And he became and then he became Tiger Woods. So that's really cool. That's crazy. Yeah, 'cause again, he he was a phenom really from when he was a junior, but he wasn't I mean it was Tiger Woods, but he wasn't Tiger Woods at that point, right? Yeah. I'd who would have seen what was he 'cause like I he o that was his first major. He had only won one master. That was it. And he had maybe ten wins, maybe maybe less than that. I don't even think he had that many wins by the time he won the Masters. So it was so early. And it and he was man, it was he was rock and roll golf. Like that was people were just all over him by then. So then you look at his career, man. And by the way, so another funny story, yeah. We got time? You want me to keep going? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got golf stories. You have the you have the right guy for golf stories. I love it. So so so then so then I'm I'm in Vegas playing Rio Seiko. And I don't even remember who I was with playing Rio Seiko. And that's where Butch Harmon's school was. And at the end of the driving range, we were teeing off early in the morning and it was closed. But we were like, yeah, that's Butch Harman's school on the other side of the range. And didn't think anything of it. We play the front nine. We we go over eight eight ten runs along the driving range. And so one of our one in the group pushed it off to the right, and we had to go up on this hillside to look for the ball. Well, when we got over the hillside, Butch Harmon's school golf school shed was open. It was a drive like a garage door was open. And someone's hitting balls in there. And we're like, you know, he Tiger had that finish, right? That C finish. You could just see that you just he wasn't a hack. He wasn't finishing over the left shoulder with some whippy, you know, flat swing. I'm like, man, and it was a you know, b black guys were like, Man, that looks a lot like Tiger, but what are the chances? So we just keep playing. We had no idea. Like they just looked like him but didn't think anything about it. And so we keep playing. And then we notice the guys behind us. He's in the group behind us. Him in the foursome. And we're like, man, but he is so big by then. Like when when the picture that I took with him in Castle Pines, he was he was like a kid. He was like 135 pounds, 140 pounds. And but now we're seeing him play behind us. And I'm like, is that Marshall Falk? Is that like Is that a football player? Because it looked like a football player. And we're trying to figure out what football player it looked like. And so we we we're we're playing and then we hit a slow group in front of us. So we're on the T box, they come walking up, they're they're hitting next. And it's Tiger and Wayne Gretzky playing and and then two normal dudes. And I'm like, Tiger is a monster, he's so big. Like he he was he had to be like two five, two hundred pounds, at least by that. Like he was he was thick. So we played the whole nine in front of him and Wayne and then had lunch in the clubhouse afterwards and they're at the table, literally right next to us. And there's nobody here. It's just us on the golf course and the people in front of us. And it was weird sitting next to him having lunch and you're just staring at Tiger and Wayne for like an hour. And no one no one around. It's just us and this. Did you talk to him? Did you did you yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He signed stuff. He you he signed he signed stuff and Wayne was great. and so we j and then we didn't want to look like idiots, so we had to act like you know we weren't Starstruck. Do you remember you at all? What's that? Do you remember you? No. No. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even remember the event. Forget me at the Glocker Room. Yeah. But it was fun. That was that was a crazy, crazy experience. Yeah, I was at twenty hours ago. They didn't hit into you at all. I was a twenty year old boy. No, I we went a twenty year old boy that saw you taking a piss in the locker room way back in the game. You remember? I was looking at you the whole time. And I'll tell you, then then there's a continuation of the story that gets really interesting. Then I had a chance to play Sherwood with Wayne Gretzky. So I had it I we we we both shared a plane service and so the net jets or marquee jets put on this, you know, hey come hang out, we'll play golf together. And somehow Wayne Janet, Wayne's wife, me and my wife at the time played Sherwood together. And Janet, his wife, Wayne's wife, says, Hey, you want to do a $50 NASA automatic press when you're down two? And I was like, what do you play to? She's like, about it, you know, give me a stroke of hole. I was like, fine, I'll give you a stroke of hole. Because I was playing I was about a four at the time, like I said, four or five. So we did an automatic fifty-dollar automatic press down two, and then she's like, let's put five hundred in a pot. For putts for the fewest putts. What? So I'm like, done. I'm a I'm I I consider myself a pretty solid putter. So I'm like, done. No problem. So we we tee off, and I cannot putt. I can't putt to save my life. Put it in put it this way, I drove the par I think a third hole at Sherwood's a par five. I drove it in two and five putting. But five putted. Any net net is I end up, she smokes me. She got a stroke of hole. I had forty-eight putts. my god. Forty-eight putts. I was six away from a three putt a hole. my Like you think about that. Like that's insane. So I lost four grand. What? The largest golf bet I've ever had ever, period. I lost to Janet Gretzky for four grand. A thirty five hundred dollar the Nassau rang it up two automatic press down two. I didn't even get a vote. I'm

losing holes. And it's just press, press, press. She made you pay? How did you pay it? How did you pay it? we need to pay up right there. I had to pay right there. He took your money. Yeah, she took my money right there. That's story. And then I find out that like Michael Jordan will not play her for money, period. Like and you know Michael Michael's a gambler. He'll play anybody for money. He will not play Janet for money. And now I know why. That woman talking about competitive and athlete and you know, just sharp and it was her home course, and then I of course Couldn't put. Man, it was a long day. Long day. Interesting. I didn't know that she was a a player. man, I she took me big time. And then we had we had dinner with them like about six months later. We had dinner with them about six months later. We're standing in the valet line and sh and and and she's like, Hey, I don't have any cash, Keith. You got twenty? And I go, Yeah, here. And Wayne goes, Hey, haven't you taken enough of this money? That's the friendly Canadian. Yeah. I was like, damn, that's cold. That is, dude. That's crazy, man. Those are my golf stories, man. Those are some great stories. Nice. What's the where's your bucket list to golf? I wanna go to I wanna go to I Ireland. matter of fact, I think maybe next birthday we talked about going over to like Scotland, Glen Eagles or something like that. Like go to a place in Scotland that has a bunch of courses in the area. So I I wanna get over there. I've never played golf over there. I was gonna ask, you are yeah, you've never been over there to play golf. No, I played all the Hawaii courses. I've I played a lot of the big courses in the US, but man, never played any of the big like St. Andrews, Glen Eagles, any of those ones over there, which would be a blast. That'd be so much fun. But then again, you gotta really factor in the weather over there 'cause you could be playing in forty degree temperatures. Yeah, it's it's it's it's like Bandon, it's a crapshoot in New Deal. Have you guys been to Bandon yet? No. So we we put this podcast together. I've only been on one golf trip in my life. Berkeley's never been on one. But we put this whole thing together because it's like, well, if we're gonna go on a golf trip, where do you go? And what what's what's the ideas to do? What's the form what's the best format? What makes it most fun? That's why we So you guys you guys have a podcast to figure out where you want to go on your golf trip. Yeah, exactly. On your first golf trip. Yep. That's it right there. And guess what? You're my number one person I wanna go on a golf trip with 'cause I need you to bring Alonso. I need you to bring LT, I need you to bring Marcus, but don't bring Gretzky's wife. Fuck that. Yeah. No, we don't want her. You don't want her. Yeah. We were Well, appreciate you coming on, Keith and stories. It was it was hilarious. I I I need to be banger with ya. Yeah, though those are my those are my top stories, so doesn't get much better than those. I've been fortunate, very fortunate to play the courses I haven't with the people that I've been able to play. I really appreciate your time today, man. And it was it was it was great hearing your story. Yeah. But I'm so happy that, you know, the guys you're golfing with, all these famous guys, they're super cool guys. You know what I mean? That's really good. They're great guys. Great guys. That's the two pieces of advice other than play golf. I give everybody. Everybody should play golf. It is a great sport to play forever. You can play until you're 90. Is play with people you like and lower your expectations. Two rules of golf: play with people you like and lower your expectations, and you'll love golf. Yeah. I love it. Very cool. Well, thanks again for coming on, Keith. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. Thanks, Keith. Keith will get a Keith will get a I'll cut this out. You get a lot of golf when you sell to Salesforce here. What's that? You get a lot more golfing when you sell to Salesforce. yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I th there will come a day soon. There you go. Awesome. Good stuff. Alright. Thanks a lot, Keith. Alright, later. Alright. You got stories to tell. You're freaking pro think. Yeah, so pro day. So they fly us out there I I'm just going 'cause it's like, okay, well I'll do it. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll go for the free golf. Right. So I go out there and I'm there to just give out prizes and make a little fun games for them, right? So some of the guys that come up and and r remember this is a a known thing that's beat the pro. So they're coming up and they're expecting, so you're the pro. I'm like, Well, you know, sometimes I would say, you know, I'm just the Joe and they want me to make it fun. So if you beat me, you guys will get a stroke off your scramble score or whatever. But sometimes I wouldn't tell them, right? And I would and these I remember there's two sp specific ones. One guy, these guys come up to me, he's like, You're the pro. It's like, yeah, so the here's the deal. You you beat me, you get a stroke off. Two of you beat me, you get you get the choice of this bottle of a nice alcohol. I was like, they're like, Okay, great. you wanna go first? I'm like, I've been going last. Like, no, you go first, give us a target. I just I've been hitting my seven iron all day. And this is like way past the middle of the day, so I'm dialed in. I get up there and even I don't even practice swing. I just go up and I've got these funny looking pants on. I got funny looking shirt on and I just go up and I smooth swing seven one sixty half club wind into bounce bounce and just rolls up to win six inches. And these guys like are you serious? You didn't take video of this. You I didn't take any video of this video. What the fuck? Yeah, I know. I I I wish I had video. And then the one other one was like I had this game where they spin it, right? And then it would be like, Okay, you get ten steps extra or you get a re you get a mul free mulligan or whatever. So one with this was opposite hand. So they gave me this ladies driver. And this next this this this crew they didn't have such a great like they weren't great, right? They're just kinda hackers out there. So I like, Okay. Usually this is supposed to be everybody shoot opposite hands, but you guys just go and then I'll hit lefty. And then you just gotta beat me. So one guy gets up and he shanks it right and another one shanks it left. Next one goes I think they got it maybe a little bit long, maybe on the edge of the green. So all I gotta do is put it on the green. So I'm I'm going up lefty, got this lady's driver. You've never shot lefty before? I just I just line it up and I You've never shot lefty before? I mean I have. I mean I ha my wife is a lefty, so sometimes I used to actually carry her seven iron just in case you get stuck up against that tree. Right? But I know I never practice. So I got this lady's driver, but it's it's a driver, right? And so I just I just take a half three quarter swing. Dart No Dart No It goes and it lands like within twelve feet and these guys are like Yeah, it's so funny. I can't believe you didn't take any video. I know, I know I needed to take video, but I I don't know. That it was it was hilarious. Fun day overall. Good good good people, good good cause, so it was it was good experience. Got some stories out of it. That is fucking hilarious. Yeah. And you know the best thing is these guys were coming and they're like, you know, next time I think I think we're gonna do like a Like heckle box. I was like, I know the guy for you. I know the guy I would just be sitting in like this little in like this little box, just be ripping guys to shreds. Exactly. That would be hilarious. So they do they do tournaments in Vegas and LA, so I was like, if you guys do this one, I got the guy for you to bring barbecue, whatever, and you'll heckle the shit out of you guys. So flippin' funny. that's funny. That's good stuff. Why don't you close this out? All right. Well, once again, ladies and gentlemen, we got another entertaining show, man. Thank you so much to Keith. Those are some great stories. It's always good when you when you hear about the celebrities that we look up to that are also great, just good people. And that's awesome. We love that. Thanks again for tuning in. to sick golf trips and make sure you hit that like and subscribe button and we'll see you next week.