บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ Ken Called Out

fact was we have a mutual friend of ours who had a birthday party with Friday night and Dan had it at his place. 00:05:18 Speaker 2: And I was there. 00:05:19 Speaker 4: And at the end of the night, we're walking out and the Russian says to him, yeah, this is Jeff's first weekend off. And, you know, he's going to find something to do. And then Dan goes, well, we're doing the breast cancer walk in the morning. If you'd like to join us. And there are things you don't turn down. They're like, you can't let go. 00:05:39 Speaker 3: You know what? 00:05:40 Speaker 2: I don't really, I'm not really feeling breast cancer today. 00:05:42 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:05:43 Speaker 1: I mean, you can't, there's no excuse you can have. I need to sleep. I'm going to be sleeping tomorrow morning. Let me walk my fish tomorrow. I can't do that. I said to him, I thought I get, I thought I, I said to him, Hey, do me a favor. Just fax me the information. I mean, text me the information and you know, I'll do it. And I went to bed. He hadn't texted me anything. 00:06:00 Speaker 2: 630. 00:06:01 Speaker 4: There's a text from him with the information, everything. And I said, all right, is there a shirt I have to wear? He goes, wear pink. I don't know where I found a pink hoodie, but I had one. 00:06:11 Speaker 3: You found one. 00:06:13 Speaker 2: Was it cold? 00:06:14 Speaker 3: No. 00:06:15 Speaker 2: I wear light. I wear light. It was nice. It was really, really nice day, bro. 00:06:21 Speaker 5: Jeff, were you there at 7 on the dot or were you there right when it started, when the walk started? 00:06:25 Speaker 2: We didn't get there until 9. Yeah, we didn't get there until 9. But I was there at about 7.45. 00:06:30 Speaker 5: Yeah, we got there about 845. I can park at my job. 00:06:34 Speaker 4: You see everyone with their sashes, Survivor, everything else like that. And, you know, I don't, you know, I've never really dealt with breast cancer and nobody in my family's ever had it. I've dealt with regular cancer, different cancers. I had skin cancer when I saw it, which, you know, that's the reason why you'll never see me outside in a short sleeve shirt ever again. 00:06:55 Speaker 3: Really? 00:06:56 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:06:57 Speaker 4: No. When you get something cut off you, you start going, I don't think I need to be in the sun anymore. 00:07:02 Speaker 1: Not doing that again. I'm with you on that, brother. I'm with you on that. So that was nice to see that you guys got to do that. 00:07:07 Speaker 2: How long was that? Three miles. Yeah, three miles. 00:07:13 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:07:14 Speaker 2: Ain't bad. It could be worse. I was right about to complain. 00:07:18 Speaker 4: But Kristen, who runs my office, just did the New York Marathon on Sunday. So I was like, 326 miles. I guess she had it worse. Bro, I give people credit who could do that. Devin, my friend, I do all the social media stuff with the theme park and meetings. One day he did a 10K. The next day he did

a half marathon. I said, you watch your damn mind. You could do 13. See, listen, 13, you could walk it. You could make that happen. But you can't walk 26 miles. 26 miles. I've done 11 marathons in about 80, 90 halves. And there's a big difference between that full marathon. You want to die at the end. 00:07:57 Speaker 2: Your will to live has left you. You hate everybody. 00:08:03 Speaker 4: At the Disney marathon, you have to run through the boardwalk, sometimes depending on the course. That's like the last mile. And everyone's cheering you on. Well, at 24 miles an hour, I don't want to hear anything you have to say. 00:08:15 Speaker 2: I don't like you. I don't like your mama. I don't like anything. 00:08:18 Speaker 4: You've... I hate everybody for that last five hours. 00:08:23 Speaker 1: I got to really be in that event for me to do a marathon. 00:08:27 Speaker 2: They can't pay you enough to do it. 00:08:29 Speaker 3: I don't care. I've never.... 00:08:33 Speaker 4: Ended one of these things and not been like hurt or at the end of it. And they go, Hey, afterwards, we're going to have this party. I'm going to bed. 00:08:40 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:08:40 Speaker 2: I'm going in a tub and I'm going, I don't crawl into the bed. 00:08:43 Speaker 4: And then I, then I lay there for like eight hours. 00:08:45 Speaker 2: Like, Hey, what are they saying? 00:08:47 Speaker 1: And the old people say back in the day, can you, Hey, you better soak in some Epsom salt. 00:08:52 Speaker 2: Go ahead. 00:08:57 Speaker 5: I called the breast cancer the million boobie March, bro. I actually said the T word, but I don't know if we can say that on radio. 00:09:08 Speaker 2: So I'm going to say boobie. A million of them, bro. 00:09:12 Speaker 3: A lot of people. 00:09:17 Speaker 5: He was a lot of people, bro. It was a lot of people, man. 00:09:22 Speaker 2: You see it all. You see all the people. 00:09:25 Speaker 4: Ken had these T-shirts with, I think, their cousin's face on it or something. 00:09:29 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:09:30 Speaker 5: Where do you get the cousin's T-shirts? They made it. Preppy Social had to make you some French t-shirts, baby. She will. That's the way you want to be on a t-shirt. You want to be on a t-shirt with the wings behind you. 00:09:48 Speaker 2: No, you. 00:09:52 Speaker 3: Don't. 00:09:52 Speaker 5: My wife said, Ken, when I die, you better not put no wings behind me and no clouds. 00:09:59 Speaker 3: For real? 00:10:02 Speaker 5: Said she don't want to put no clouds and no wings on me. 00:10:06 Speaker 2: I say, yes, ma'am. 00:10:07 Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am. 00:10:08 Speaker 2: He says we are. He'll put it on the back of his car. There you go. 00:10:11 Speaker 3: Bro, we are. 00:10:13 Speaker 2: We will put it on the back. 00:10:14 Speaker 3: He right. 00:10:14 Speaker 2: The back window of our car will have. Back window of the car. Yeah, man. 00:10:19 Speaker 4: And people put it on their body. Like everyone who dies, they'll put tattoos of like. And I got to tell you, unless you got a good tattoo artist, don't do it. 00:10:28 Speaker 2: Don't do it because they're not going to like the way they look. 00:10:31 Speaker 4: You look like somebody with a character outside Disney. 00:10:34 Speaker 1: I don't have the courage to get a face on my body. That's risky. I'm not going to get a face. What if you ain't that good? You know what I mean? You have me looking like James Avery from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. 00:10:50 Speaker 4: You know the problem is people post these tattoos they're getting and I don't want to tell people, but here's the thing. 50% of the time your tattoo looks like ass. And when you do that, they go, oh, let me do this. They go, oh, here's a banana. Why would you put a banana on you? I mean, people do weird ass tattoos and you're going, did it mean something to you? 00:11:10 Speaker 2: No, it's a cherry. I got eight cherries on me. 00:11:14 Speaker 1: I know people who, it's crazy to me because it's a lot. I wouldn't do it. But when people get the whole sleeve, the whole leg. 00:11:21 Speaker 2: That sleeve is wild, bro. 00:11:23 Speaker 1: That's crazy. 00:11:26 Speaker 4: Women do the blotches on both thighs. 00:11:27 Speaker 2: Have you seen that? Ladies, you are screwing up your look. 00:11:32 Speaker 4: Every time I see a woman with these big blotches on both thighs, I'm going, what? 00:11:37 Speaker 5: Why? 00:11:38 Speaker 2: No man's going, hey, baby, that looks good. Unless he's already dating you and he's got a lie to you. 00:11:44 Speaker 5: I tell you this, if you see a chick and she got the Ace of Spades anywhere tattooed on her, she's been in somebody's video. 00:11:56 Speaker 2: I've learned that watching the dope movies. I'm like, hey, man, what's up with all the... Oh, that's their brand. Like a Q-Dawg. 00:12:01 Speaker 3: Oh, wow. 00:12:08 Speaker 2: I get to see the weird ones. At, like, Comic-Cons, I see the weird tattoos where people come up to you. Oh, yeah, they go all out. 00:12:14 Speaker 4: Like, this one girl came up, and she had, like, little devils all over her bodies and the number 13 and everything. And I'm like, some dude is choosing to be with you with all that bad karma you're walking around with. 00:12:25 Speaker 2: Now, I know comic. 00:12:26 Speaker 1: Book people who are fans of comic books, when you go to, like, Megacon, they got beautiful stuff done. Like, it's crazy because it's big. 00:12:32 Speaker 2: Some of it's good. Some of it. 00:12:34 Speaker 3: True. 00:12:35 Speaker 4: I did this comic book called Angel Falling, and this woman copied the tattoo that I put on my character. 00:12:42 Speaker 2: And she shows up. 00:12:44 Speaker 4: And, I mean, she had the tattoo from her back all the way down to her calves. 00:12:48 Speaker 3: Oh, my. 00:12:48 Speaker 2: No. 00:12:49 Speaker 4: And we designed that tattoo. It took us about two, three weeks to design the tattoo. And she goes, you don't mind I took it? 00:12:55 Speaker

2: I said, no, I don't care. I mean, you know. I'm not doing a big tattoo. 00:12:59 Speaker 1: She committed to anything either. 00:13:01 Speaker 2: I'm not doing none of that. No, you can't poke me. 00:13:04 Speaker 5: That's crazy. A whole back tattoo. A whole back body tattoo. All the way down. When you do feathers. 00:13:12 Speaker 4: Everyone does like to do wings and everything, but they don't realize when you design it, you have to feather it in. There's a lot of shading that has to happen. You can't just draw this 2D element. It has to have a 3D feel. 00:13:25 Speaker 3: How did it look? 00:13:27 Speaker 5: It looked good. 00:13:27 Speaker 2: Did it come out good? 00:13:28 Speaker 4: The weird thing was this. The guy shows me the tattoo. He goes, let me show you the full thing. And this dude just showed me a picture of his wife nude. And I'm like, I'm sitting here going, I'm like going, is this a pineapple thing? Or, you know, what are we dealing with here? 00:13:46 Speaker 2: I'm not showing anybody pictures of my wife. 00:13:48 Speaker 4: But I got to be cool. When somebody does something weird in the booth, you have to let everybody else in the booth see it. So it looks like you're not weirding out. 00:13:55 Speaker 2: Hey, check this out, man. 00:13:56 Speaker 5: This is amazing. Real quick. 00:13:58 Speaker 2: Would y'all take a look at this dude's wife? Booty butt naked? 00:14:02 Speaker 5: Hey, hey, hey, I know you're about to go to commercial real quick. 00:14:07 Speaker 2: We're thinking of booty. 00:14:08 Speaker 5: So, you know, I work downtown in the mall and the walk was downtown. And then like a couple of weeks before that, like I think it was the pride parade. So usually what happened is they'll let the people from Saturday to work from home. So they don't have to drive in to, you know, for the parade. But this Saturday, they wouldn't let nobody work from home. And so I sent my boss a picture. I was like, hey, man, it's crazy down here right now. He said, why they got to walk for breasts, but they don't have a walk for colon? I said, because breasts are more important than booty hole, I guess. 00:14:42 Speaker 1: On that note, we'll be right back with more hilarity. This is Real Last, Real Radio 104.1. Welcome back, everybody, and you are still listening to Real Laughs on Real Radio 104.1. 00:15:14 Speaker 3: I'm your host tonight, Mr. 00:15:15 Speaker 2: James John, and joining the studio with Mr. 00:15:17 Speaker 1: Ken Miller, the godfather of Orlando comedy, and he is called out of work Ken today. 00:15:22 Speaker 2: We're about to talk about that. 00:15:24 Speaker 1: Our official sponsor, my comedy brother, and he is a comic book creator, Mr. Jeff, the Batman Kaufman. Now, Ken, I happened to run into you this past weekend. It was a Sunday fun day. And you seem to be having a lot of fun, my friend. So I can't help but notice that you're calling yourself called out of work again. 00:15:47 Speaker 2: Yep. So I was just wondering if there's any correlation between the fun that you was having. 00:15:55 Speaker 3: Hey, dog. 00:15:56 Speaker 5: You ever seen that video? You ever see that video? It's Snoop Dogg with Ricky Harris. He's like, yo, I don't like hanging around him. 00:16:05 Speaker 2: He drink. 00:16:05 Speaker 5: He made me drink. Yeah. That's James at the funny bone, bro. I be chilling. I don't be wanting to have no drink, no liquor. I just be wanting to have... James, I just want to watch the show. 00:16:20 Speaker 2: But James... Yeah. It's like, yo, kid, you got to drink up, B. 00:16:23 Speaker 3: Yo, son. 00:16:24 Speaker 2: So I get there. First of all, I get there late. 00:16:27 Speaker 3: My bad. 00:16:28 Speaker 5: Dog, you couldn't get out of downtown. It was pouring down raining. The Magic game had just let out. You couldn't get. So I finally got there. Devin was on stage. I missed Mark's set. So I got in the green room. I'm talking to James. James already know the deal. James is like, hey, man, I'm about to go outside with y'all. 00:16:44 Speaker 2: What? 00:16:46 Speaker 3: Right? 00:16:48 Speaker 5: So, I'm outside. It's me and Chris, man. I'm cigarred up. I done had two drinks. I said, hey, man, they ain't let out the show yet. I said, well, Chris, let's hit one more. I get another drink. I said, they ain't let the show out yet. I'm like, they should have been doing the show. I said, well, let me go and get another one. So, that was four. 00:17:11 Speaker 3: In. 00:17:11 Speaker 5: The last thing I remember, did we take a shot? 00:17:14 Speaker 2: Yes, we did. We took a shot because we were celebrating that night. See, that's being irresponsible. You know you're being irresponsible when you break the shots out. Oh, bro. That's when the party's over. 00:17:24 Speaker 1: It was so funny. I was looking at Ken like, ooh, he is having a really good time. Was I wild and bad, though? 00:17:33 Speaker 5: No, no, no. You just were happy. 00:17:35 Speaker 2: And I know you. I'm like, Ken's just having a good time. But I'm like, ooh. Was the arm hanging around people? Was the arm on people? No, but he was saying, hey, let's all do a drink. 00:17:44 Speaker 1: And I was thinking, oh, it's not Saturday like usual. He got to go to work tomorrow. So I was thinking in my head, he ain't going to work. He ain't going to make it to work. 00:17:55 Speaker 2: There's no way. So this is the thing. 00:17:58 Speaker 5: So I get to the crib. I eat something and I fall asleep. I wake up because of this daylight saving BS. I wake up at five o'clock in the morning. 00:18:08 Speaker 3: Hmm. 00:18:09 Speaker 5: Cause my normal time is six. I wake up at five o'clock in the morning. Oh, just, I just wake up. 00:18:13 Speaker 3: On my own. 00:18:15 Speaker 5: I go sit in the living room, but I'm not hung over. I'm exhausted, but I'm not hung over like I normally am. And from five to six o'clock, I'm sitting in the living room, just scrolling on social media. My alarm

went off at six. My alarm went off at six. I was like, hey y'all this kid i ain't gonna make it hey man i ain't gonna make it today man and you know my job he ain't gotta get no excuse i was like hey man i just i ain't coming in today and i went back to sleep you. 00:18:48 Speaker 4: Know i realized i saw his calling out work i caught what somebody called in to work me this morning Because I'm the boss. 00:18:57 Speaker 2: Yeah, you are. 00:18:58 Speaker 4: See, we're in different parts of the food chain here. I'm the one who gets the call. And Jonathan calls me. I go, why you got to put on a fake thing? 00:19:08 Speaker 5: Yeah. 00:19:08 Speaker 4: I have to start coughing up on the phone with me. 00:19:12 Speaker 5: Like, you know, I don't know what you're doing. It's not like we were talking about this at work, bro. It's not like the olden days where you had to do the voice and hey, I'm not. Nah, dude, you got PTO. You're allowed to take PTO. 00:19:25 Speaker 2: Hey, dog. I ain't coming in. I don't do the voice. 00:19:30 Speaker 1: Jonathan was at the microwave pressing the button like he's in a hospital. 00:19:33 Speaker 2: He's up there walking the dogs. 00:19:36 Speaker 3: Hey, come on. Hold on. 00:19:37 Speaker 2: I got to make the call. Like, what is going on? Hey, Jay, he sent him a picture. 00:19:47 Speaker 5: He like this. 00:19:48 Speaker 3: Man. 00:19:51 Speaker 1: Jeff. 00:19:52 Speaker 5: Like, when the hospital didn't get black. Hey, man, I ain't. 00:19:58 Speaker 2: Tell my mom I love her. Tell her I love her. But I had a good time, man. It's always great to see y'all hang. 00:20:07 Speaker 5: And shout out to y'all because it was damn near sold out. 00:20:11 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:20:11 Speaker 2: It was damn near sold out, man. So speak on that, man. Speak on that. Well, thank you, Ken, for coming out, man. It's important, brother. 00:20:18 Speaker 1: But we had our first theme park comedian show at the Orlando Funny Bone. We actually sold tickets. There was no giveaways. And Y'all came out and y'all showed out, man. We had 200-plus people that came to the improv, and it was absolutely amazing. Thank you, guys. Thank anybody listening that came out and supported. It meant the world to us, man. You guys are amazing fans, man. We really love y'all. 00:20:43 Speaker 2: We had a great time. 00:20:44 Speaker 1: We got to show some videos of some bloopers and stuff when we tried to make videos. I couldn't say one word, Jeff, so Devin played this video where it took me 28 times to say the word foliage. I couldn't say it. I couldn't say foliage. I was going fully. I couldn't just get that word out. But also we got to unveil our very first theme park comedian T-shirt made by. 00:21:07 Speaker 2: The Lost Brothers. 00:21:08 Speaker 1: If you know Disney, man, Disney, Lost Brothers is one of the premier producers of T-shirts for Disney. So they actually partnered with us and we got some special coming that I'm going to announce here in about

a week or so. 00:21:20 Speaker 3: You need pins. 00:21:23 Speaker 2: You need Disney pens. Yes, yes. Yeah, as you say, limited to 100. You know how this works, Jeff. Exclusive. 00:21:30 Speaker 1: That's right, man. But yeah, it was a crazy great show. Thank you, Krista. Thank you, Miles, everybody at the Funny Bowl. Thank you, Mark Daniels. 00:21:39 Speaker 2: So I checked. 00:21:40 Speaker 5: I saw Devin said, I didn't get to see yours. Devin did a lot of Disney stuff. Are you doing Disney material as well? Yes. 00:21:47 Speaker 1: Not all of it, because I still know I need to pepper some regular stuff in there. 00:21:50 Speaker 2: I talk about my kids, too. I let people get to know who I am, really. 00:21:53 Speaker 1: But I did talk about growing up with my children, raising them, and the fact that they loved, like, Disney and the thrill rides. And for, like, 15 years, when we'd go, I would never get on the thrill rides. I would hold my wife's purse while she went on it. Like, that was the truth. And I would stand there proud, because I'd rather be looking stupid than get scared on going on a roller coaster. I had that person. Still one of my favorite videos, bro. 00:22:17 Speaker 5: Peeing on yourself yeah hey some people hey jay that's the other guy oh everything i love bro i watch that video once a week bro i love you thank you it's it's so funny because it it's the it's the like will you hey man i'm laughing just. 00:22:35 Speaker 2: Thinking about It's me. I'm people. James will tell you. 00:22:41 Speaker 5: I called James. I said, hey, N-word. I had to call you. This is the funniest. 00:22:47 Speaker 2: You're so funny. 00:22:52 Speaker 3: Thank you, brother. 00:22:52 Speaker 2: It's so funny, bro. 00:22:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, man. 00:22:55 Speaker 2: But shout out to y'all. 00:22:56 Speaker 5: But yeah, if y'all, if you didn't go, man, y'all got. 00:22:58 Speaker 2: To go check them out. It was dope. It was so dope, man. 00:23:01 Speaker 3: It was. 00:23:02 Speaker 5: And, and, and to be proud of the fact that you sold tickets. Cause you know how hard it is to sell tickets. 00:23:10 Speaker 2: On a Sunday. 00:23:12 Speaker 5: Yeah. The day after Halloween. 00:23:15 Speaker 3: Yes. Yes. 00:23:17 Speaker 2: I doubt. Experienced it on that level before. It's still crazy to me. It's, Like we talked about it. 00:23:23 Speaker 1: It took us how many years as professional comedians grinding bar shows, driving for hours to finally get to a spot where we're thriving in it. 00:23:34 Speaker 2: It took a long time to get to this place. And I'm just grateful, thankful, humbled. 00:23:37 Speaker 1: So appreciate everybody out there supporting us, man. 00:23:41 Speaker 5: Talk to these comics because they don't understand this. They do not understand. They don't understand, bro. 00:23:49 Speaker 2: I'm like, I tell them like this. 00:23:51 Speaker 5: Hey, man, shout out to the nephew. But what happened with Cam Patterson don't happen to everybody else.

No. Some of y'all, it's going to be 15, 20 years for you to start that notoriety, man. But, man, it don't happen to all these comedians. And on top of that, you're not as funny as Cam. 00:24:14 Speaker 2: No. 00:24:15 Speaker 3: No. 00:24:16 Speaker 5: You're not even shouldn't be in. 00:24:17 Speaker 2: The room with Cam. 00:24:19 Speaker 5: You know what I mean? But you think that in five, six years, you should be on SNL like him. No. 00:24:25 Speaker 1: And Cam had something going for him. Cam has charisma. He's delightful on stage. 00:24:32 Speaker 5: So much personality. Everything Cam is on, I don't watch every podcast. Me too. That boy, that is some God-given talent. You know how, like, if you believe in God, because I do, God put you on that path, bro. This is what he was supposed to do. He talk about how he used to trap and sell dope. And one time he had the cops behind him and they had a lot of work in the car. He was going to be gone for a long time. And the cop went the other way. And he went the other way and started stand-up comedy. Because he could have went a whole different... He could have got pulled over and went to jail and we never would have heard of Karen Patterson, the comedian. Bro, that is a blessing. That's a blessing, man. So I feel you, James. 00:25:19 Speaker 4: When you say a light, I know when some people come in a room sometime and you can feel them. They have something in them. And if they can combine that with a lot of work and sweat equity, they can get there, man. 00:25:33 Speaker 1: And Ham keeps writing. Ham keeps writing. He has new jokes. He doesn't stop working on his craft, man. I mean, I salute him. That's half of it. But I'll tell these young comics, man, I've been doing comedy 25 years and finally starting to get something going. 00:25:50 Speaker 2: It takes forever. 00:25:52 Speaker 4: You didn't get it going because you kept working clubs. You got it going because you go, well, I've been working clubs. Let me try something else. Let me try something else. You keep trying new things. You guys, hey, we'll shoot some videos at Disney World. Everyone's shooting videos at Disney World. So why is yours different? 00:26:11 Speaker 2: And it's because you guys took a different take on it. 00:26:15 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:26:16 Speaker 2: You know how many people I know that do podcasts and they tell me all the time, oh, your friend James. 00:26:21 Speaker 4: I think I've seen him on another thing. I said, oh yeah, theme park comedians. And they were like, oh, that's it. Oh, my friend has a Disney podcast. There's 4,000 people. I learned that when I got into it. Can he not line? There's a million Disney digital creators. 00:26:39 Speaker 5: It's just podcasts. 00:26:41 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:26:42 Speaker 5: It's like, I'm not even going to say these people name, but I know two people who are very close to me who started podcasts that shouldn't start the podcast. 00:26:53 Speaker 2: Like, I know these people. You know what I'm saying? 00:26:57 Speaker 5: I'm just like, there's nothing about you that I would sit for an hour and listen. 00:27:02 Speaker 3: Facts. 00:27:03 Speaker 2: Oh, and when they come to you, I've had people come. My brother-in-law came to me. He's an attorney. 00:27:07 Speaker 4: He goes, I'm going to do a podcast. I said, well, what's it about? He goes, well, I went to these guys and they said, you'll find your voice eventually. I said, no, no, it don't work like that. 00:27:16 Speaker 2: You know, I've shot 250 shows. I haven't missed a show. And I'm always wondering how to get better. 00:27:25 Speaker 4: You know what you can do and i said you got to figure out what your why is you have a podcast why who do you want to listen to it uh well i have a couple of my friends like my buddy was he was like hey man i i'm going to interview the head of the chamber of commerce. 00:27:42 Speaker 2: I said who gives a rat's ass about the chamber. 00:27:45 Speaker 1: Of commerce nobody bro nobody why like yeah. 00:27:48 Speaker 2: He looked at me like he's. 00:27:50 Speaker 4: Important to who to the three people who know what the chamber of commerce. 00:27:54 Speaker 2: Is no he not No, he's not. No, he's not. 00:27:57 Speaker 1: And I will say podcasting, because I listen to a lot of them when I'm driving on the road, it's not easy. It's a skill set to be interesting for that long, man. People are doing podcasts for two and three hours, and it's good. I salute people who can actually do that, man. 00:28:10 Speaker 3: It's hard. 00:28:10 Speaker 2: Three hours is crazy, bro. 00:28:13 Speaker 4: My last five interviews I did, William Shatner, Henry Winkler, the guy who wears the short pants from Reno 911. 00:28:23 Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. 00:28:24 Speaker 3: He's funny. 00:28:25 Speaker 4: And uh jan from the office and i had sean cassidy from the seven i don't even remember him yeah hardy boys yeah i mean and i still oh what 500 views i'm like i'll. 00:28:38 Speaker 1: Take it yeah if you know yo bro views is not easy to come by you earn every single one. 00:28:44 Speaker 2: Of them you got 500 come on Yeah. 00:28:46 Speaker 4: You know, you, you don't, there's no secret sauce to it. There's no secret sauce to any of it because I'll go, wait a minute. This one video of her and I talking about her friend, Robin, somebody 84,000 views. 00:28:58 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:28:59 Speaker 4: I mean, I mean, I got 105,000 with, with, with, with Jared, you know, not the guy from subway, the guy from billboard dude. 00:29:09 Speaker 2: And I mean, it was, it was funny. But he just kind of looks at me. 00:29:15 Speaker 1: That was the whole bit. And you both look it up at your billboard, man. Oh, before we go to break. Fantastic, by the way. Before we go to break, Kim, please tell them that special number on that billboard to call. 00:29:27 Speaker 2: 407-500-JEFF. 00:29:28 Speaker 5: 407-500-JEFF. Slip or fall, car accident, kick in the ass. If your friend gets you

a shot at the end of the night, call. 00:29:37 Speaker 2: Jeff Kaufman, yo, and get your lawsuit on. 00:29:40 Speaker 3: On. We'll be right back. Welcome back, everybody. 00:29:56 Speaker 1: Thank you, because you stuck around and you're still rocking with Real Lives on Real Radio 104.1. 00:30:03 Speaker 2: I'm your host tonight, Mr. 00:30:04 Speaker 3: James Young. 00:30:05 Speaker 2: That is Ken Miller, a.k.a. Called Out of Work Ken. And this is Jeff, the Batman Common. 00:30:09 Speaker 3: You know him. 00:30:10 Speaker 2: You love him. He's not only a comic book creator, comedian. 00:30:13 Speaker 1: But an award-winning lawyer, if you will, representing and winning for the good people of Orlando for over 30 years, my people. Hey, man, I finally got my car back, by the way. Remember I told y'all how my car got swiped? 00:30:24 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. 00:30:25 Speaker 3: While they got it back. 00:30:26 Speaker 2: Is it the same car or does it make some weird noises? Does not make any noise. 00:30:30 Speaker 3: All right. 00:30:31 Speaker 2: You know, sometimes when you get it fixed, it don't work the same. 00:30:35 Speaker 5: Hey, Jeff, he go fit the car. I'm like, why my car red? This ain't my car. 00:30:43 Speaker 2: One side panel is red. This car don't turn left. How does this work? 00:30:53 Speaker 5: Actually, they put. 00:30:57 Speaker 1: A paint job on my car. It looked brand new. I'm about to go hit something else. 00:31:03 Speaker 2: You know why? 00:31:03 Speaker 1: That rich dude took it. So what was the outcome with it? They didn't tell me anything because my insurance handles it. I paid my little deductible. 00:31:11 Speaker 3: Why? 00:31:12 Speaker 2: They're suing that lady. I'm not paying my deductible. That comes from her. 00:31:17 Speaker 3: It does. 00:31:17 Speaker 2: They said once they settle the case, they reimburse you. 00:31:20 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:31:22 Speaker 2: Yes. That lady here. 00:31:26 Speaker 5: All right. 00:31:27 Speaker 2: I'm not saying anything. 00:31:31 Speaker 3: Hey. 00:31:31 Speaker 5: You know why she hit five cars? Yeah, we'll talk later. But James, you know why she hit five cars? 00:31:37 Speaker 3: Why? 00:31:37 Speaker 5: Because we was taking shots when the bar was closed. That's the wild thing. I'm like, I know that lady. 00:31:49 Speaker 2: Never going back to that club. Never going back to that. Thank you. No, thank you. See, that's the problem. Every time we go out, we don't have a choice. Drinking is on the table. 00:31:57 Speaker 3: Yep. 00:31:57 Speaker 4: It's never off the table. I never say, hey, no, not tonight. I don't remember the last time one of us said, oh, no, no, no. 00:32:05 Speaker 2: We good. I can't. I got early morning. We not doing crazy things out here, though. That woman. 00:32:12 Speaker 4: I ain't hitting five cars. Well, you ain't playing bumper cars in the parking lot. That's not what I'm saying. 00:32:20 Speaker 5: It's funny, Jane, because I don't want to work that

club no more either. 00:32:22 Speaker 2: Ain't nobody hit my car. I am done. Thank you. 00:32:31 Speaker 4: White women in their 40s. That seems to be the DUI magnet. For some reason, when women get older, they decide to drive drunk and start hitting stuff. 00:32:40 Speaker 1: And they're always at a comedy show, too. It's not the young girl. It's the lady in her mid-40s. That's the one. That's the one. Let me buy you a drink. Let me buy you a drink. And they want to touch you. I'm trying to help you. My wife is standing right there. She will turn this club upside down. I told James I wanted to do something. 00:33:06 Speaker 4: I did tell James I wanted to do something because he was talking about gropey people on his boats and everything. I looked up, James is going on a cruise for Thanksgiving. I said, well, let me see if I can go on that cruise. He gave me the cruise, and there are two parts of his cruise boat. There's the uppity part and the regular part. There's what they call the haven part. There's an area called the Haven, and that's for the rich people on the boat. That means they don't have to hang out with the riffraff. They get their own pool. They own restaurant you can't go to. They own deck out on the ship. All their own private stuff. It's called the Haven. 00:33:41 Speaker 2: And I go, how much is the Haven? And they go, extra $ 3, 000. I go, oof. Do I need to go to the Haven? 00:33:47 Speaker 4: I was like, I'm like going, because I got the Russian's brother with me for Thanksgiving. 00:33:53 Speaker 2: I said, all right, I got to get two rooms. 00:33:55 Speaker 4: Oh, you got the Russian's brother, too? If I do this, this is five figures. Let's say four figures. Havens don't come off for cheap. And I can't be in the Haven without them. Hey, I got you a room outside the Haven. 00:34:07 Speaker 2: Wait. For real? 00:34:08 Speaker 3: Yes, you can. Yes, you can. 00:34:16 Speaker 4: The Russian will be hanging out with the riffraff and I'll be at the Haven going, I ain't leaving here. 00:34:20 Speaker 5: It's the Haven. I don't leave the Haven. That's why they call it the Haven. You know, it's crazy, man. Me and my wife pay that because we love a good vacation. 00:34:32 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:34:34 Speaker 2: We pay extra vacation. Five bills. 00:34:37 Speaker 5: We pay extra. We just booked our winter vacation. We're taking the kids to Pigeon Forge. 00:34:44 Speaker 2: And, uh, yeah, serial killer museum. Yeah. 00:34:48 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:34:48 Speaker 5: If she let me, you know, she don't let me do murder stuff, but, um, so we're going up there. 00:34:53 Speaker 4: I love, you know, so we were taking the kids. Oh, you, you need to sneak in there. The Russian made me go there. It has all Bundy stuff. I mean, all the, all the killers. 00:35:02 Speaker 3: Oof. 00:35:03 Speaker 2: Okay. That was because Ted Bundy was in Tallahassee. 00:35:06 Speaker 3: Y'all. 00:35:07 Speaker 2: Yeah. I interviewed a girl. Yeah. 00:35:09 Speaker 4: Bro.

Facts. 00:35:13 Speaker 2: Did you know that? Ted Bundy always killed Devin's mom. He tried to date Devin's mom. He tried to date Devin's mom, bro. 00:35:21 Speaker 1: And she said she looked at him the entire time and she had this feeling that that got behind his eyes was nothing. 00:35:28 Speaker 2: He was dead. 00:35:28 Speaker 4: Who chooses somebody like that to begin with? You go, this guy. A lot of women. That dude was handsome. He wasn't handsome. That dude was adorable. You're wilding. Come on, man. 00:35:42 Speaker 2: Come on, man. 00:35:42 Speaker 3: Come on, Jeff. 00:35:43 Speaker 2: You mean compared to Gacy? 00:35:44 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:35:45 Speaker 2: Yo, you bugging, Jeff. 00:35:49 Speaker 4: I'm telling you, serial killers don't matter. He ain't that bad looking. That's because you put him together with all the other weird serial killers. He looks like a news anchor. 00:35:58 Speaker 5: Yeah, that dude's handsome, B. I would let Ted Bundy murder me. 00:36:04 Speaker 2: Wow. I thought he had that one. 00:36:06 Speaker 1: No, you're thinking somebody else. 00:36:09 Speaker 5: We can't say that, bro. 00:36:11 Speaker 2: I can say that. Same way you can drop the N-bomb, I can say Jufro. 00:36:14 Speaker 5: That's different. They don't know that you're a Jewish man. 00:36:18 Speaker 2: Of course. Yeah. 00:36:22 Speaker 4: I got to sit here for hours listening to you guys drop N-bombs and. 00:36:24 Speaker 2: I'm looking around and go, huh? Hey, dawg. I can say the Jufro, Jufro, you know, who's going to fire me? 00:36:30 Speaker 5: If you listen, we apologize for Jeff Kaufman. 00:36:32 Speaker 2: There ain't no Jews in Orlando. Who you kidding? 00:36:35 Speaker 3: Wait a minute. Yes, there is. No, not there. 00:36:37 Speaker 2: Trust me. 00:36:38 Speaker 5: Yeah. 00:36:38 Speaker 3: But here's the thing. 00:36:39 Speaker 2: It's a subject. Hey, here's the crazy part. 00:36:43 Speaker 1: Any woman who starts dating a dude meets him while he's in prison. 00:36:48 Speaker 2: I think you're crazy. 00:36:49 Speaker 5: You start dating a dude. 00:36:51 Speaker 3: That's crazy, bro. 00:36:53 Speaker 1: You know, this dude's in there for a reason. And you think he's going to be marriage material? 00:36:58 Speaker 2: Hey, man. I don't know. Well, we do know. We do know. 00:37:03 Speaker 4: You know, I just did a big thing on this about one of the Russians friends called her and tells me, hey, can I talk to Jeff? 00:37:10 Speaker 2: Nope. 00:37:11 Speaker 4: You're going to bring crazy legal stuff. She thinks she was dating Johnny Depp. 00:37:16 Speaker 3: Bro. 00:37:17 Speaker 2: And sent Johnny Depp money. Yo, them people, wow. They deserve what they get. And then, oh, no, no. Then she breaks up with him. It's over. And then she starts thinking she's dating Michael Bublé. 00:37:30 Speaker 3: Bro. 00:37:31 Speaker 5: You can't fix people. The same dude got her. Got her. She fell for the tiny death. 00:37:40 Speaker 4: I'm going to have to see

a pirate walk before I send you a dollar. 00:37:47 Speaker 2: Jesus. How do they get these people to believe that? Is she old? 00:37:53 Speaker 3: 45, 50? 00:37:54 Speaker 4: That ain't too old, man. 00:37:58 Speaker 5: That ain't too old because you can get Get the elderly, yo. 00:38:02 Speaker 4: Could you imagine if she tells one person, you think she'd tell somebody, go, hey, you know who I'm dating? I'll tell somebody who I did an interview with. I stopped a stranger in the street. I just talked to William Shatner. If William Shatner and I were dating, I'd be telling everybody. How do you think you're dating Johnny Depp? He's just keeping it a secret. There's a level of crazy. 00:38:23 Speaker 2: He's like, hey, send me a couple hundred dollars real quick. 00:38:25 Speaker 3: I need $ 10, 000. I need $ 10, 000. 00:38:26 Speaker 2: $ 10, 000 is wild, bro. 00:38:26 Speaker 4: Oof. 00:38:30 Speaker 2: I don't know how they pull that off. 00:38:31 Speaker 1: I'm just still amazed that people will believe they're dating a celebrity and never met them before. 00:38:36 Speaker 4: Some people are that lonely or they're that weird. I mean, you can't possibly believe this. 00:38:41 Speaker 3: No. 00:38:42 Speaker 2: You're not dating no celebrity. 00:38:43 Speaker 4: I mean, you know, I know that a lot of people when they see these weird texts about the guys who get busted for doing weird texts and everything else. 00:38:50 Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. 00:38:51 Speaker 4: I can see that. But when one of these guys asks you for money, that's the first red flag. 00:38:57 Speaker 3: Hey. 00:38:57 Speaker 4: Yep. 00:38:57 Speaker 2: That's wild. 00:38:59 Speaker 4: How long does somebody sit there? Oh, I'm going back and forth with Johnny Depp. I can't even imagine that's even. I can't fix people. 00:39:09 Speaker 2: What's that joke? Ron White said, you can't fix stupid. 00:39:14 Speaker 5: Yeah. 00:39:14 Speaker 2: You can't fix stupid, bro. 00:39:18 Speaker 1: Hey, Jeff, I know what I want to ask you, brother. The lady, I think we talked about it, but I'm just curious about this. The lady that was sentenced to death. by lethal injection and they did it how many times and she didn't die right away? 00:39:31 Speaker 2: Two shots. Is that legally, is that considered torturing somebody, though? Okay, here's the deal. 00:39:39 Speaker 4: This is the weird thing, because we've somehow decided that the death penalty has to be humane. So you just need to go to sleep. You can't do anything. We can't electrocute you anymore. We can't hang you. Now, before you say that Trump's killing this dude in a firing squad, that's a military. Whole different thing. I'm talking about every state, it has to be humane. Now, I think when you survive two of these, they need to commute your sentence. 00:40:07 Speaker 2: Because that's no longer humane. We're just going to keep trying. 00:40:09 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:40:11 Speaker 4: I mean, I support the death penalty and the idea that people should get closure, not because it's going to stop people in the future. But I understand that if you kill somebody's child, they want closure and that you leaving the planet is closure. 00:40:25 Speaker 2: But when you fail twice, you got to just commute it. 00:40:30 Speaker 1: Yeah, you should let that person. Let her play dice for the rest of her life. Like serve life, right? Just stay in jail. That's what they do in prison. 00:40:38 Speaker 5: No, you should get out. You should get out. You put me on a death penalty. 00:40:47 Speaker 2: And I survived it? 00:40:48 Speaker 5: Nah, I get to go home. 00:40:50 Speaker 2: I don't know, man. 00:40:53 Speaker 1: She murdered somebody and wore their skull to school. 00:40:56 Speaker 2: She was different. 00:40:58 Speaker 5: Dog, I like a fresh skull, baby. I like a fresh skull. I done survived that little nuke you done put in my arm, baby. 00:41:08 Speaker 2: Nuh-uh. Let me go home. Go get some Bojangles. 00:41:11 Speaker 1: Oh, Jeff, you said something interesting, too. You said we can't electrocute people no more? No, we don't electrocute anybody. Like, big, like, you know, like, they even have the electric chair. I forgot where they're displaying it now. 00:41:21 Speaker 2: Somewhere. Oh, I didn't know that. San Augustine. Yeah, it's all through injection. Everything is lethal injection. 00:41:29 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:41:30 Speaker 2: All right. And how long does lethal injection take normally? 00:41:34 Speaker 4: I honestly have not been in that situation. And if I ever got invited to see one, I wouldn't go. 00:41:40 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't go. 00:41:41 Speaker 4: It's the morbid stuff. People are morbid now. I don't remember people being this morbid. Now they get excited about murder porn and things like that. Everybody, everyone's got a podcast about murder. I wonder what's more popular. Oh, I know Murder Pod more than Disney. I'll tell you that right now. 00:41:56 Speaker 2: Bro, that's right. 00:41:57 Speaker 4: Oh, 100%. 00:41:58 Speaker 1: I just looked it up, and they say a lethal injection typically takes between 5 to 20 minutes. 00:42:05 Speaker 4: I mean, I think if you just slap, they should just overdose you with, like, crack or something. 00:42:11 Speaker 2: Just give you a heroin overdose. Can you broth it at the mouth, though? 00:42:14 Speaker 4: No, no, just be, the people, when they have heroin overdoses, they just kind of like to have a stupid smile on their face and go, just give them a lot of heroin. 00:42:21 Speaker 2: You have to be cheap. I think you should be killed the way you killed somebody. Damn. Believe it or not, I came up with one. Your death should be what you did to somebody. 00:42:32 Speaker 4: If the idea is to keep people from doing it, not for vengeance, then you got to make this stuff. I mean, I think they should put you in like a life-size magic bullet. 00:42:43 Speaker 2: You know? Have that machine. You get like juiced. And people go, I

don't keep people from doing it. Hey, time out. Time out. No, no, Jay. Time out. 00:42:54 Speaker 5: You just sat here talking about how you can't stand murder porn and you want to juice somebody, dog? 00:43:00 Speaker 2: I'm telling you. 00:43:00 Speaker 4: If you want to keep people from doing it, I can tell you right now, I can imagine the first rap song talking about getting juiced. 00:43:07 Speaker 2: Oh. Hey, man. 00:43:09 Speaker 3: Hey, dog. 00:43:11 Speaker 2: This dude wants you to get put in the blender, B. Hey, and there's. 00:43:15 Speaker 3: Somebody up top. 00:43:16 Speaker 2: With a little cilantro. 00:43:19 Speaker 5: Like the neutral bullet. 00:43:25 Speaker 2: The bullet. That's wow. 00:43:29 Speaker 3: All right. 00:43:29 Speaker 1: Before we run out of time here, man, because you guys are cracking me up. Where's everybody this weekend? What's going on? 00:43:34 Speaker 2: Where you at, Jeff? What you got going on under oath, sir? Oh, I got under oath. I think we have the Shatner episode. That's Aaron. 00:43:40 Speaker 4: Or I might have to do the Sean Cassidy since he's actually going to be playing in town in about two weeks. 00:43:47 Speaker 2: Nice, man. 00:43:47 Speaker 3: Nice. 00:43:48 Speaker 1: It's going well for you, brother. I love seeing your clips, man. They're doing very well. Congratulations, my brother. Ken, what do you got going on, my friend? Hey man, this weekend we are back. OMG is Wicks and Friends. 00:44:00 Speaker 5: We're in Naples at Officer Hook Comedy Club and then next Wednesday for Veterans Day. 00:44:05 Speaker 2: Jeff, if you're available, please stop through. 00:44:08 Speaker 5: We are doing a Veterans Day comedy show side stage at the Funny Barn for Wounded Warriors Orlando. It's me and like five other military cats. So Jeff, you're more. 00:44:17 Speaker 2: Than welcome to Congress Day. How the hell did I get that? How did I get into that invite? I I'm inviting you now. Well, you're telling me now, but there are eight of us. I didn't expect to be. 00:44:30 Speaker 5: Bummed before Chris. 00:44:31 Speaker 2: I just put the show together. 00:44:31 Speaker 5: I just put the show together. 00:44:34 Speaker 2: I didn't think you'd call me before Chris. 00:44:36 Speaker 5: You know what? Stay your ass home. I don't want you there now. Stay your ass home. 00:44:43 Speaker 2: I'm interviewing Gary Sinise anyway on Veterans Day. 00:44:47 Speaker 3: I've been married 32 years. 00:44:48 Speaker 2: Can I go? Can I be on the show? 00:44:53 Speaker 5: Oh, you already got called. But, Jeff, I was telling you tonight, if you're welcome to come by, it's going to be a small, intimate show, guys. It's like 15, 20 people, Wounded Warriors. We're just doing something for Veterans Day. But we are going to open it to the public. So if you want to swing through, you're more than welcome to swing through. If you're a veteran, family of veterans, if you've been married 32 years, you're a veteran of relationships. If you want to swing through, swing through. But it is for the Wounded Warriors of Orlando. It's something we just threw together today. They wanted their own personal comedy show, so we tried to put one together for them. 00:45:24 Speaker 3: Nice, man. Nice. 00:45:25 Speaker 1: I will not be performing this weekend because Saturday, it's official, that is my 32nd wedding anniversary. 00:45:33 Speaker 4: Woo! 00:45:33 Speaker 2: Yes. I will be with my wife at a theme park resort. 00:45:38 Speaker 3: Universal Studios. 00:45:39 Speaker 2: I was right about that. 00:45:40 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes. 00:45:41 Speaker 2: I'll be there riding the rides, man, riding the movies, y'all. 00:45:44 Speaker 3: That's right. 00:45:45 Speaker 2: So thank y'all so much for always listening to us and supporting us. We love you. 00:45:49 Speaker 1: On behalf of myself, James John, that is Ken Mills, the godfather of Orlando Comedy. That is Jeff, the Batman coffin. Thank you all for listening, and we'll see you tomorrow. Ken, tell them what to do, baby. 00:46:00 Speaker 2: Take your ass to bed. We out.