บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ S01 EP19: Chris Ramsey

his own to sort him out. 43 00:01:47.319 --> 00:01:50.519 How was that, Josh? Are you back yet? He's just 44 00:01:50.540 --> 00:01:51.609 getting down, just pulling his. 45 00:01:51.829 --> 00:01:53.150 Okay. He stopped. 46 00:01:53.189 --> 00:01:55.629 How was that, Josh? It's an awkward chat, isn't it, 47 00:01:55.650 --> 00:01:56.469 talking to the builder? 48 00:01:56.689 --> 00:02:00.670 Well, yeah, but it's fine because there's so much other 49 00:02:00.849 --> 00:02:03.159 shit that's wrong with this house that he's got other 50 00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:05.500 things he can move on to for two hours. 51 00:02:06.730 --> 00:02:09.509 But it's such a go, excuse me, can you stop 52 00:02:09.849 --> 00:02:13.189 making noise by making something? I've got to go and talk, 53 00:02:13.530 --> 00:02:16.699 do a bit of light-hearted banter to distract people from 54 00:02:16.719 --> 00:02:19.599 their awful children for an hour. Do you mind keeping 55 00:02:19.620 --> 00:02:20.580 it down, mate? 56 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:23.340 He's slightly worried because he's just taken the frame off 57 00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:24.580 the window that's rotting. 58 00:02:24.819 --> 00:02:25.180 All right. 59 00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:27.750 So obviously we're having a break now. He's having a 60 00:02:27.789 --> 00:02:30.110 break so that I can record a parenting podcast. I didn't... 61 00:02:31.259 --> 00:02:32.500 I wasn't clear on that with him. 62 00:02:32.539 --> 00:02:33.020 I was kind of. 63 00:02:33.180 --> 00:02:35.000 Oh, you wait till he gets on the WhatsApp chat 64 00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:38.740 of all his mates down on the other side. Anyway, 65 00:02:38.819 --> 00:02:40.520 he stops banging and the window's open. 66 00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:43.259 Yeah, and so if it rains in the next hour, 67 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:43.939 I'm just. 68 00:02:44.039 --> 00:02:46.539 If you hear me go very quiet on this, it's 69 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:48.500 because I've seen it started raining out the window. 70 00:02:48.530 --> 00:02:49.490 How are you, Josh? 71 00:02:49.530 --> 00:02:49.840 You all right? 72 00:02:49.870 --> 00:02:51.530 You had a bit of a stressful week last week. 73 00:02:51.569 --> 00:02:52.569 Has this week been better? 74 00:02:52.710 --> 00:02:53.169 Totally. 75 00:02:53.550 --> 00:02:55.270 So this is the weirdest thing. 76 00:02:55.330 --> 00:02:58.129 So obviously, I'm not sure whether she heard the recording 77 00:02:58.189 --> 00:03:01.620 or whatever, but... So we record these both, the Tuesday 78 00:03:01.639 --> 00:03:04.879 and the Friday, together, right? So it was Monday morning. 79 00:03:05.500 --> 00:03:08.620 I basically had a meltdown and listed all the times 80 00:03:08.659 --> 00:03:10.650 she said no to me. She then went for a 81 00:03:10.729 --> 00:03:13.509 nap and woke up, and it was like she was 82 00:03:13.530 --> 00:03:17.889 a different child. It just completely changed. And she's been 83 00:03:18.069 --> 00:03:22.590 absolutely

amazing all week. This is a formal apology to her, 84 00:03:22.659 --> 00:03:26.250 but she... But genuinely, she just. 85 00:03:26.189 --> 00:03:27.490 Slept it off. Maybe it was a snack of sleep. 86 00:03:27.629 --> 00:03:28.370 Needed sleep. 87 00:03:28.550 --> 00:03:30.770 Yeah, she was just knackered. But she's kind of more 88 00:03:30.789 --> 00:03:32.830 or less dropped her nap now. It's come to that. 89 00:03:32.870 --> 00:03:35.030 Oh, has she? Oh, it's a big moment. 90 00:03:35.229 --> 00:03:35.449 Yeah. 91 00:03:35.469 --> 00:03:38.030 The first dropping of a nap is an absolute killer. 92 00:03:38.050 --> 00:03:40.710 So you was getting 90 minutes, wasn't you, midday? And 93 00:03:40.770 --> 00:03:42.669 now she's just up. She's gone. 94 00:03:42.729 --> 00:03:44.810 We tried. We did it yesterday. We did the nap. 95 00:03:44.900 --> 00:03:46.620 And then she couldn't get to sleep in the evening. 96 00:03:46.680 --> 00:03:48.120 And we were like, that's it. 97 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:50.800 But I would say don't be too hasty because it 98 00:03:50.840 --> 00:03:53.479 has been hot last week. That will affect some getting 99 00:03:53.500 --> 00:03:57.090 to sleep. in the evening as well as not being 100 00:03:57.129 --> 00:03:59.969 tired enough. So just, just bear that in mind. Just 101 00:04:00.009 --> 00:04:01.569 keep options open for a bit. 102 00:04:01.590 --> 00:04:01.770 Yeah. 103 00:04:02.069 --> 00:04:03.710 Don't, don't cut that nap off yet. 104 00:04:04.219 --> 00:04:06.840 Well, I, we needed it yesterday. We needed it yesterday, 105 00:04:07.180 --> 00:04:09.120 but it's fine. It's fine. 106 00:04:09.159 --> 00:04:11.419 I've made my peace with it. You know, as long 107 00:04:11.439 --> 00:04:13.879 as I just keep putting in enough work during the 108 00:04:13.900 --> 00:04:15.439 middle of the day, I'll get my break that way. 109 00:04:15.500 --> 00:04:16.319 That's the way I do it. 110 00:04:16.699 --> 00:04:20.879 Just keep, we're going to seven episodes a week now. Okay. 111 00:04:22.839 --> 00:04:25.259 I did have a bit of a parenting mishap. So 112 00:04:25.899 --> 00:04:29.139 I've recorded this live for you. 113 00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:29.759 Here it is. 114 00:04:35.300 --> 00:04:39.040 Just had a complete parenting nightmare. Well, almost. 115 00:04:40.720 --> 00:04:44.220 So my wife has gone for a socially distanced dinner 116 00:04:44.259 --> 00:04:46.519 and drink in the garden of our friend James. 117 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:51.160 And it's just kind of about a mile away. It's currently. 118 00:04:51.959 --> 00:04:54.160 midnight, she texts me and she says she's walking back 119 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:56.779 and I think, you can't walk back on your own. 120 00:04:57.920 --> 00:04:59.439 So I text her, I go, it's fine, I'll come 121 00:04:59.490 --> 00:05:02.329 and meet you, I'll walk and get you. And I'm 122 00:05:02.750 --> 00:05:04.129 literally getting my clothes on. 123 00:05:04.170 --> 00:05:06.310 Like, putting my shoes on and stuff and she texts 124 00:05:06.329 --> 00:05:08.990 me and she goes, you can't leave our daughter, you'd 125 00:05:09.029 --> 00:05:10.250 have just left her in the house on her own. 126 00:05:10.290 --> 00:05:12.029 I'd completely fucking forgotten. 127 00:05:12.990 --> 00:05:15.490 What is wrong with me? 128 00:05:15.589 --> 00:05:16.230 Oh my God. 129 00:05:17.009 --> 00:05:19.839 So, Home Alone 5, would that have been? 130 00:05:20.220 --> 00:05:22.910 It would have Do you know what? 131 00:05:22.930 --> 00:05:25.459 I've got a lot more respect for David Cameron after that. 132 00:05:25.560 --> 00:05:27.100 Because when he left his kid in the pub, I 133 00:05:27.139 --> 00:05:30.949 thought it was impossible. I just wasn't thinking. 134 00:05:31.209 --> 00:05:33.560 Yeah. Because there's a stage where they do just go 135 00:05:33.689 --> 00:05:35.079 to sleep so deeply. 136 00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:35.800 They're just quiet. 137 00:05:35.819 --> 00:05:38.259 You just have that moment of peace and you think, 138 00:05:38.339 --> 00:05:40.819 I've got nothing else. I could just go. Yeah. I'm 139 00:05:40.839 --> 00:05:42.759 surprised it doesn't happen more, but I'm sure it does. 140 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:45.740 But people don't, you know, offer that. You don't say, oh, 141 00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:47.079 what did you do last week? Oh, I left my 142 00:05:47.110 --> 00:05:48.370 kid indoors and I went for a walk. 143 00:05:48.850 --> 00:05:49.230 Yeah. 144 00:05:49.509 --> 00:05:52.149 No one's admitting to that, even though it can happen. 145 00:05:52.370 --> 00:05:54.089 There's every chance, Rob, that that's what I did. 146 00:05:54.110 --> 00:05:56.889 But I've changed the story slightly so that it made 147 00:05:56.970 --> 00:05:57.790 me sound better. 148 00:05:58.050 --> 00:06:00.600 But I'm sure if anyone else has had one of 149 00:06:00.620 --> 00:06:02.649 those moments where they forgot they were a parent for 150 00:06:03.149 --> 00:06:06.000 a moment. So not like, I don't, you know, Shannon 151 00:06:06.019 --> 00:06:08.920 Matthews' mum getting in touch. That's different. I mean, like 152 00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:10.819 if you sort of went to go out or did 153 00:06:10.860 --> 00:06:12.500 get in the car and thought, oh no, my kid 154 00:06:12.560 --> 00:06:14.500 and stuff like that. I've done that before though, where 155 00:06:14.519 --> 00:06:16.680 I've like, the one I forget sometimes to strap him 156 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:19.139 in the car seat. And then you're halfway down the 157 00:06:19.180 --> 00:06:22.660 road and like, dad, what? My seatbelt's not done. You're like, 158 00:06:22.740 --> 00:06:25.360 don't move. And then you try to pull over immediately. 159 00:06:26.620 --> 00:06:28.920 Oh, God. We bought a car this week as well, actually. 160 00:06:29.480 --> 00:06:30.819 Oh, big week for the Widdicombs. 161 00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:32.240 Big week for the Widdicombs, yeah. 162 00:06:32.259 -->

00:06:32.980 What did you go for? 163 00:06:33.139 --> 00:06:36.800 A BMW X1, secondhand. 164 00:06:36.819 --> 00:06:38.639 Oh, secondhand. Put that in there, man of the people. 165 00:06:38.680 --> 00:06:39.720 Just to be clear, just to. 166 00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:42.220 Be clear, with the money I'm spunking on this fucking builder, 167 00:06:42.240 --> 00:06:44.740 I can't afford a new car. 168 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:49.139 Secondhand X1. Oh, that's a good one. They're reliable BMWs, 169 00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:50.899 I think. I don't know. I don't know anything either. 170 00:06:50.939 --> 00:06:51.360 I don't know. 171 00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:54.019 I know so little about cars. The whole experience has 172 00:06:54.060 --> 00:06:57.720 been absolutely so... difficult for me when you're on the 173 00:06:57.779 --> 00:06:59.759 phone and they're asking you what you're looking for in 174 00:06:59.800 --> 00:07:03.120 a car and you're thinking color can't be the first 175 00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:08.000 thing i said what color did you get black i 176 00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:11.620 just wanted a black simple black or blue like nothing. 177 00:07:11.339 --> 00:07:14.500 Like or gray silver that's all you know like a 178 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:17.290 purple one with eyelashes on the headlights or something like that. 179 00:07:17.290 --> 00:07:19.120 I basically don't want people to think that i'm a 180 00:07:19.170 --> 00:07:21.110 footballer do you know what i mean that's the kind. 181 00:07:20.970 --> 00:07:22.569 Of josh i'll stop you now i don't think anyone 182 00:07:22.649 --> 00:07:30.870 ever will One of the 66 boys. If you stood 183 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:33.230 next to Pogba and Ronaldo, I don't think anyone would 184 00:07:33.250 --> 00:07:34.829 be confused which one was the footballers. 185 00:07:35.110 --> 00:07:36.490 Well, even if I had a white car? 186 00:07:36.769 --> 00:07:40.370 Yeah, even in a white Range Rover, I think they'd know. 187 00:07:41.430 --> 00:07:44.089 That's a good family car, Josh. I mean, I'm having 188 00:07:44.110 --> 00:07:46.230 a bit of a car issue, basically, because now we do... 189 00:07:46.509 --> 00:07:49.329 I never really used... We had an old Micra that's 190 00:07:49.329 --> 00:07:51.810 15 years old, and then we've got a Nissan Qashqai 191 00:07:51.850 --> 00:07:54.089 that's a bit newer. It's about five or six years old. 192 00:07:54.569 --> 00:07:56.790 And that's the family car. And then the Micra is 193 00:07:56.829 --> 00:07:59.560 basically the one we used to have when... Lou was 194 00:07:59.600 --> 00:08:01.379 a teacher and driving to and from school and stuff. 195 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:04.399 But I've had to drive more because, you know, you 196 00:08:04.439 --> 00:08:06.660 can't go on public transport and stuff. So I've been 197 00:08:06.779 --> 00:08:11.279 using this 15-year-old Micra and it is literally falling apart. 198 00:08:11.540 --> 00:08:14.350 The aircon, I played golf last week on the hottest 199 00:08:14.370 --> 00:08:16.769 day of the year, right? Didn't get hot at all, 200 00:08:16.850 --> 00:08:19.990 didn't burn. I got stuck in a traffic jam as 201 00:08:20.029 --> 00:08:23.089 the sun was coming down in my face, even at 202 00:08:23.129 --> 00:08:25.069 the front, the side of my head. So I looked 203 00:08:25.089 --> 00:08:27.180 like I was at Harvey Dent. You know, half my 204 00:08:27.220 --> 00:08:30.699 face was just like mutilated from the sun and I 205 00:08:30.740 --> 00:08:32.519 had no air con and I got burnt in a 206 00:08:32.539 --> 00:08:35.039 traffic jam. And I was like, I've got to get 207 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:37.679 another little car because we need two cars now, especially 208 00:08:37.710 --> 00:08:40.429 with the girls. Like when they start going like, football 209 00:08:40.470 --> 00:08:43.330 or gymnastics and going off places and me i need 210 00:08:43.370 --> 00:08:45.809 it for work as well so i'm i'm in the 211 00:08:45.850 --> 00:08:47.850 market for a new car as well josh but an. 212 00:08:47.870 --> 00:08:50.220 X1 if this goes badly if this goes badly i'll 213 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:53.539 sell you on the x1 well this this is you're 214 00:08:53.559 --> 00:08:55.820 not going to believe it can you hear that yeah what's. 215 00:08:55.720 --> 00:08:58.779 He doing now what is he doing now it sounds 216 00:08:58.820 --> 00:09:00.759 like that roll ferris wobble ball. 217 00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:04.789 Thing this is lunch break he practices his wobble board. 218 00:09:04.669 --> 00:09:05.429 At lunch break. 219 00:09:07.289 --> 00:09:08.190 He's sawing something. 220 00:09:08.470 --> 00:09:09.389 He's sawing something. 221 00:09:09.409 --> 00:09:10.769 Tell him to go for a walk. 222 00:09:10.889 --> 00:09:15.759 But surely he realises that that room is above the 223 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:18.399 room that was causing the problems in the first place. 224 00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:25.740 How big is this piece of wood? Hang on. I 225 00:09:25.759 --> 00:09:28.559 think he's got to turn your house into a detached house. 226 00:09:28.820 --> 00:09:30.950 I think he's cutting straight through the wall all the 227 00:09:30.970 --> 00:09:33.870 way down. It will have value. 228 00:09:34.289 --> 00:09:34.809 He's done it. 229 00:09:34.830 --> 00:09:34.889 No. 230 00:09:39.100 --> 00:09:43.450 I mean i've got to go up right i was 231 00:09:43.470 --> 00:09:45.000 i was hoping that was going to be the end 232 00:09:45.039 --> 00:09:45.379 of it. 233 00:09:45.970 --> 00:09:48.629 It's not josh you'll do something else okay wait she's 234 00:09:48.649 --> 00:09:51.149 doing poly filler get him to do poly filler yeah 235 00:09:51.190 --> 00:09:51.769 could he not. 236 00:09:51.690 --> 00:09:53.970 Do like a bit of sweeping or something like. 237 00:09:53.809 --> 00:09:56.309 That'd be loud without a wood he's just cut. 238 00:09:56.429 --> 00:09:58.529 Wait i'm gonna just let him get to the end 239

00:09:58.549 --> 00:10:00.029 of this piece of wood and if then. 240 00:10:01.009 --> 00:10:03.009 Not how it works josh let him get to the 241 00:10:03.049 --> 00:10:04.179 end of this piece. 242 00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:07.399 Of wood there'll be more wood right back in a 243 00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:10.179 minute off you go rob for a minute i'll feel. 244 00:10:10.539 --> 00:10:13.279 I'll feel um he's gonna stop any as soon as 245 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:16.259 josh goes um well i feel now what should we 246 00:10:16.279 --> 00:10:21.070 talk about let's talk about golf Can someone please send 247 00:10:21.090 --> 00:10:24.009 me some free golf? No, I can't. I can't do that. 248 00:10:24.029 --> 00:10:26.090 I don't want to be one of those guys. But 249 00:10:26.250 --> 00:10:28.269 I am looking at an electric car, which is what 250 00:10:28.289 --> 00:10:30.610 I'm going to tell Josh about in a minute, because 251 00:10:30.830 --> 00:10:33.299 I don't want to pay congestion charge to get into London. Oh, 252 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:35.620 my God. I've become a boring old man. 253 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:37.000 You're not going to believe this. 254 00:10:37.480 --> 00:10:38.000 What's he doing? 255 00:10:38.340 --> 00:10:40.379 When I went in the room, I made him jump. 256 00:10:40.440 --> 00:10:42.539 He was so surprised to see me. He jumped out 257 00:10:42.580 --> 00:10:42.960 of his skin. 258 00:10:43.750 --> 00:10:45.889 You're quite a looming presence, though, Josh, aren't you? 259 00:10:46.570 --> 00:10:47.129 What did he think? 260 00:10:47.220 --> 00:10:55.139 Oh, my God. Is that Alan Shearer? Is that Dele Alli? 261 00:10:56.200 --> 00:10:58.840 So he's going to do the soaring outside, which is good. 262 00:10:59.299 --> 00:11:01.820 Yeah, fair enough. But the problem is the window's open, 263 00:11:01.860 --> 00:11:03.519 isn't it? He's just shaking it out in my earring. 264 00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:06.519 But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, Josh. 265 00:11:07.019 --> 00:11:09.210 So we will... Oh, sorry. 266 00:11:09.250 --> 00:11:11.470 I'm all over the shop. But I'll just fill you 267 00:11:11.549 --> 00:11:14.480 in on the two... To go back to it, the 268 00:11:14.539 --> 00:11:16.200 two children's names that we heard. 269 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:17.679 Oh, yes, the Kittles. 270 00:11:17.740 --> 00:11:19.220 Yeah, the Kittles. 271 00:11:20.879 --> 00:11:23.899 My husband and I have four beautiful four-year-old twin girls, 272 00:11:24.480 --> 00:11:28.419 incredibly headstrong, inquisitive, lively, and in some instances. 273 00:11:28.620 --> 00:11:30.679 Incredibly headstrong is a warning flare for me. 274 00:11:31.039 --> 00:11:31.279 Yeah. 275 00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:35.320 I'd argue that friends wouldn't describe them as that. That's 276 00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:36.779 a parent being kind, isn't it? 277 00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:38.960 Yeah, that's spin, isn't it? 278 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:44.240 That's spin, that's... That's the PR machine in overdrive there. 279 00:11:44.500 --> 00:11:45.559 Incredibly headstrong. 280 00:11:46.340 --> 00:11:48.080 Well, see how headstrong this sounds. 281 00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:49.860 The youngest twin was left alone in the living room 282 00:11:49.879 --> 00:11:52.919 for a short while after preschool. We went through the 283 00:11:52.960 --> 00:11:55.159 palaver that was bedtime routine, sat down to watch a 284 00:11:55.159 --> 00:11:57.320 bit of TV, switched on the TV, and it had 285 00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:00.259 black lines running down it. She had broken the TV. 286 00:12:00.830 --> 00:12:02.629 It was the youngest twin who was using the TV 287 00:12:02.669 --> 00:12:05.610 unit as a balancing beam, head-butted the TV. 288 00:12:05.350 --> 00:12:05.899 And broke it. 289 00:12:06.389 --> 00:12:09.029 We purchased a new TV. My husband set it up 290 00:12:09.090 --> 00:12:13.039 on Saturday. Our oldest twin... Didn't want to be left out. 291 00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:16.639 On Monday after preschool, while we were upstairs, I looked 292 00:12:16.700 --> 00:12:19.419 around the living room and the new TV screen looked 293 00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:22.179 like it's snowing. The oldest twin had broken the TV. 294 00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:22.879 Oh my God. 295 00:12:23.259 --> 00:12:25.580 We have had to purchase yet another TV, which is 296 00:12:25.679 --> 00:12:27.580 going to be installed on a bracket high up so 297 00:12:27.620 --> 00:12:28.600 no one can touch it. 298 00:12:28.620 --> 00:12:33.240 Thank God they didn't have triplets. So there's headbutting tellies. 299 00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:37.179 That is headstrong. You can't get a stronger head than that, 300 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:39.200 can you? Nothing to tell you. 301 00:12:39.379 --> 00:12:43.299 So thank you to Hannah and her headstrong twins for that. 302 00:12:43.580 --> 00:12:46.580 We've got lots of great emails. We will go through 303 00:12:46.620 --> 00:12:48.600 them on our Friday episode. 304 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:49.320 Yes. 305 00:12:50.100 --> 00:12:54.019 And I'll update you on my children's sleeping pattern. I'll 306 00:12:54.059 --> 00:12:55.899 explain the ins and outs, but the bottom line is 307 00:12:55.940 --> 00:12:57.360 there was five days in a row when I went 308 00:12:57.399 --> 00:12:59.659 to bed at 9.30 p.m. and woke up at 5.30 a.m., 309 00:12:59.700 --> 00:13:02.460 which I would like to call the four worst days 310 00:13:02.500 --> 00:13:04.809 of my life. And I'll fill you in on it. 311 00:13:05.710 --> 00:13:06.549 On Friday. 312 00:13:06.990 --> 00:13:09.149 I look forward to it. If you want to get 313 00:13:09.210 --> 00:13:10.389 in touch with us, this is how. 314 00:13:12.269 --> 00:13:19.340 Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk or we're on Twitter at lockdownparents. 315 00:13:21.769 --> 00:13:25.470 So our guest this week, Chris Ramsey, comedian, podcaster with 316 00:13:25.490 --> 00:13:27.820 his wife, Rosie Ramsey. And they've got

their book coming 317 00:13:27.889 --> 00:13:32.019 out in September called Shagged, Married, Annoyed, as the same 318 00:13:32.059 --> 00:13:35.360 title as their podcast. Available for pre-order now from all 319 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:40.220 good bookshops and the internet. But don't do Amazon, maybe. 320 00:13:40.500 --> 00:13:41.759 I mean, why am I getting involved in that? 321 00:13:44.419 --> 00:13:46.419 I used to work at Waterstones and I am fully 322 00:13:46.450 --> 00:13:47.049 behind them still. 323 00:13:47.190 --> 00:13:48.370 Yeah, do Waterstones. 324 00:13:48.409 --> 00:13:50.950 Yeah, it's fine. They charge £ 5. 50 for a birthday card, but... 325 00:13:51.549 --> 00:13:54.169 Buy their books as well. It's absolutely fine. £ 5. 50 for 326 00:13:54.190 --> 00:13:56.059 a cut. And why am I stuck on Waterstones? Sorry, lads. 327 00:13:56.100 --> 00:13:56.659 What am I doing here? 328 00:13:56.840 --> 00:13:57.539 Chris Ramsey. 329 00:13:57.700 --> 00:14:04.240 Here he is. Hello, Chris Ramsey. Thanks for coming on 330 00:14:04.279 --> 00:14:05.139 the show. How's it going? 331 00:14:05.980 --> 00:14:07.779 Over the moon to be here. Thank you so much 332 00:14:07.799 --> 00:14:08.539 for having us, lads. 333 00:14:09.529 --> 00:14:11.350 How are you doing, Chris? There's three of you in 334 00:14:11.370 --> 00:14:12.029 the house, right? 335 00:14:12.509 --> 00:14:15.210 Yes, there's three of us. I'll be honest with you. 336 00:14:15.269 --> 00:14:16.710 At times, it's a lot. 337 00:14:17.009 --> 00:14:17.509 It is a lot. 338 00:14:17.669 --> 00:14:21.700 And I've... I've really, I've made an error because I've 339 00:14:21.779 --> 00:14:23.519 somehow made myself a favourite parent. 340 00:14:23.980 --> 00:14:25.720 Oh, wow. How old's your boy? 341 00:14:25.740 --> 00:14:26.600 He's four. 342 00:14:26.940 --> 00:14:27.440 Four, okay. 343 00:14:27.759 --> 00:14:28.519 Yeah, he's four. 344 00:14:28.570 --> 00:14:32.090 Favourite parent, normally great. During lockdown, nah, it's not all 345 00:14:32.110 --> 00:14:33.029 it's cracked up to be like. 346 00:14:33.049 --> 00:14:34.129 Nah, yeah, of course. 347 00:14:34.529 --> 00:14:37.070 Your trademark likeability has come back to bite you on 348 00:14:37.090 --> 00:14:37.370 the arse, Chris. 349 00:14:41.750 --> 00:14:43.409 Oh, and I never thought it would. 350 00:14:43.570 --> 00:14:44.470 I never thought it would. 351 00:14:45.029 --> 00:14:47.240 Honestly, I might even drop the accent, see if I 352 00:14:47.250 --> 00:14:47.649 put them off. 353 00:14:47.860 --> 00:14:52.440 Yeah, you have to change your whole comedy persona to 354 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:56.639 get some sleep. Chris Ramsey's a moody one-liner comic now. 355 00:14:58.639 --> 00:14:59.019 A goth. 356 00:15:01.259 --> 00:15:03.860 I do not find like having a kid, like having 357 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:06.639 a sort of a child that can do a few 358 00:15:06.700 --> 00:15:08.059 things for the self, but not much. 359 00:15:08.139 --> 00:15:10.379 Like he's still, you know, he can make himself a juice. 360 00:15:10.399 --> 00:15:12.940 But I'd rather, I'd rather make it than clear up 361 00:15:12.980 --> 00:15:13.700 his attempt. 362 00:15:13.460 --> 00:15:15.649 At making juice. Do you know what I mean? Do 363 00:15:15.659 --> 00:15:17.509 you not find that you're just like, you're kind of 364 00:15:17.529 --> 00:15:18.269 like a waiter. 365 00:15:18.850 --> 00:15:22.149 In a restaurant but there's not many people in like 366 00:15:22.169 --> 00:15:24.889 there's a couple of tables in so it's not rammed 367 00:15:24.909 --> 00:15:27.129 you're not rushed off your feet but you're the minute 368 00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:28.570 there's a couple of tables in the minute you think 369 00:15:28.590 --> 00:15:30.409 you can sit down the one something. 370 00:15:30.190 --> 00:15:32.440 Like that's basically the best. 371 00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:34.240 We can describe what's like being a father a parent 372 00:15:34.259 --> 00:15:35.460 of a toddler well i've got. 373 00:15:35.340 --> 00:15:37.360 I've got a four-year-old and i'm at a point now 374 00:15:37.379 --> 00:15:39.899 where i'm just like surely you can make yourself a 375 00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:45.360 sandwich can't you At what point? Four? It's been four years. 376 00:15:45.379 --> 00:15:47.860 When do you start doing your own lunch? 377 00:15:47.980 --> 00:15:49.080 Why can't I do it again? 378 00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:51.120 Hey, I've got to hand it to my son, Robin, right? 379 00:15:51.159 --> 00:15:53.919 The other day, I went upstairs. My wife was getting 380 00:15:53.940 --> 00:15:55.899 ready and we were sitting chatting upstairs. And he was 381 00:15:55.940 --> 00:15:58.019 downstairs and I thought he was just watching TV, sort 382 00:15:58.039 --> 00:16:01.049 of settled. And then he came up with a chocolate 383 00:16:01.070 --> 00:16:03.710 spread sandwich, like a Nutella sandwich. And I looked at 384 00:16:03.750 --> 00:16:05.970 him and I went, have you just made that? 385 00:16:05.990 --> 00:16:08.769 And he went, yeah. I went, really? He went, yeah. 386 00:16:09.080 --> 00:16:10.080 And I looked at my wife and I was like, 387 00:16:10.100 --> 00:16:11.340 did you make that? She went, no, I went right. 388 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:15.500 So I went downstairs expecting carnage. He'd got a chopping 389 00:16:15.539 --> 00:16:17.799 board out. He'd got the bread out. He'd got a 390 00:16:17.850 --> 00:16:19.929 knife out. He got the spread and he'd done the 391 00:16:19.950 --> 00:16:21.309 whole thing. And the only thing that was left is 392 00:16:21.350 --> 00:16:22.549 he hadn't put the bread back in the cupboard. 393 00:16:22.950 --> 00:16:24.649 I couldn't believe it. I was like, there is light 394 00:16:24.669 --> 00:16:26.049 at the end of this tunnel. This is incredible. 395 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:26.200 Wow. 396 00:16:27.070 --> 00:16:29.870 Just a week's detention for leaving the bread out. 397

00:16:30.710 --> 00:16:33.909 Oh, yeah, definitely. 398 00:16:33.950 --> 00:16:36.129 You can eat 40 chocolate spread sandwiches. I made them 399 00:16:36.169 --> 00:16:39.090 eat loads at the same time when you catch them. 400 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:41.129 Smoking. 401 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:43.539 Chris, are you a strict parent? Because I can't imagine 402 00:16:43.559 --> 00:16:47.340 you telling him off because you're so happy-go-lucky and chilled. 403 00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:50.059 How do you deliver a telling. 404 00:16:49.860 --> 00:16:53.279 Off when you're... I don't like doing it. I really 405 00:16:53.299 --> 00:16:54.940 don't like doing it. I don't think any parent. 406 00:16:55.059 --> 00:16:56.899 I mean, if you sit here and go, I love 407 00:16:56.919 --> 00:16:58.850 telling my kids off, it's the best part. 408 00:16:58.769 --> 00:17:02.269 Of the day. You've got some problems, like. But they're just... 409 00:17:03.169 --> 00:17:06.410 I kind of just kind of have stern words. I 410 00:17:06.430 --> 00:17:08.950 don't really like shouting. But he just doesn't listen. I mean, 411 00:17:08.970 --> 00:17:09.579 you've met me. 412 00:17:09.950 --> 00:17:12.039 You've been in places with me. 413 00:17:12.539 --> 00:17:15.539 Like, imagine me, but four. Like, he doesn't stay still. 414 00:17:15.559 --> 00:17:17.599 He doesn't concentrate. He doesn't listen. So sometimes you've got 415 00:17:17.619 --> 00:17:19.000 to go, hey! So that's me. 416 00:17:19.019 --> 00:17:21.500 My favourite one is, hey! And then you sort of 417 00:17:21.539 --> 00:17:23.160 look and then you go, right, sorry, son. And then 418 00:17:23.180 --> 00:17:25.490 you carry on. But we're very much, you know, me 419 00:17:25.509 --> 00:17:28.609 and my wife, Rosie's, she's really, really good with him. 420 00:17:28.630 --> 00:17:30.849 Like she's much, I see her doing things and I go, yeah, 421 00:17:30.990 --> 00:17:32.390 I should, I should have handled it like that the 422 00:17:32.430 --> 00:17:34.660 other day when, you know, when I was showing me 423 00:17:34.700 --> 00:17:39.799 and him, we're both crying. like it's i just uh 424 00:17:40.039 --> 00:17:42.200 what she's got is a lovely little technique where you'll 425 00:17:42.220 --> 00:17:43.380 do a little bit of a telling off and you'll 426 00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:44.960 sort of sit there sad and then it's like right 427 00:17:44.980 --> 00:17:46.460 shall i have a cuddle now and then the cuddle 428 00:17:46.500 --> 00:17:48.880 comes and then so i always i think i'm a 429 00:17:48.900 --> 00:17:50.990 transitioner i'm quite needy though i try i move on 430 00:17:51.009 --> 00:17:55.509 at the cuddle too early i'm like and he's like no. 431 00:17:57.460 --> 00:17:58.759 I'm still on the time-out stepdad, yeah? 432 00:17:58.819 --> 00:18:02.500 I just want to cuddle immediately. I'm like, come on, please. Please, lovely. 433 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:04.940 Just need to be loved. Yeah, well, it's a thing. 434

00:18:05.009 --> 00:18:07.589 Comedians are needy and do need that attention. They want, 435 00:18:07.930 --> 00:18:08.809 you know, to be liked. 436 00:18:08.930 --> 00:18:09.250 So much, yeah. 437 00:18:09.269 --> 00:18:11.410 So it's hard when you've got to be the bad cop. 438 00:18:11.630 --> 00:18:13.470 And how's it working in your house? And so, like, 439 00:18:13.490 --> 00:18:16.069 we're looking after the kids. It's been different in lockdown, obviously, 440 00:18:16.089 --> 00:18:19.130 because you've not been working. But normally, are you working full-time? 441 00:18:19.170 --> 00:18:21.269 And Rosie, because I know Rosie does a podcast too, 442 00:18:21.309 --> 00:18:23.230 and she's on, you know, social media and things like that. 443 00:18:23.250 --> 00:18:23.329 Yeah. 444 00:18:23.349 --> 00:18:25.150 But has she got a job as well as that, 445 00:18:25.170 --> 00:18:26.819 or is it more the childcare? No, well. 446 00:18:27.400 --> 00:18:29.440 She is, yeah. She's basically been. 447 00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:33.160 It's been really strange for Rosie because before she started. 448 00:18:33.819 --> 00:18:36.140 So we kind of got together and she didn't really. 449 00:18:36.259 --> 00:18:36.500 She. 450 00:18:36.420 --> 00:18:38.059 Was sort of doing singing and doing a bit of 451 00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:41.859 presenting and stuff locally. And then what happened was when 452 00:18:41.900 --> 00:18:44.680 we had Robin... um she just got a job on 453 00:18:44.759 --> 00:18:48.009 capital northeast but then she sort of packed in capital 454 00:18:48.029 --> 00:18:49.529 to have him and then and then went back and 455 00:18:49.549 --> 00:18:50.869 then she felt like she went back too early so 456 00:18:50.890 --> 00:18:52.750 she kind of stopped doing that and then i basically 457 00:18:52.809 --> 00:18:55.670 toured for essentially three years non-stop and she was at 458 00:18:55.690 --> 00:18:59.119 home with robin last year we did the podcast she 459 00:18:59.130 --> 00:19:01.380 got really big on instagram she starts getting all over 460 00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:02.240 the podcast. 461 00:19:01.940 --> 00:19:04.059 Is huge is it the country. 462 00:19:04.180 --> 00:19:05.819 We can't believe it honestly we're over the moon like 463 00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:07.799 it is just me and her talking just talking about 464 00:19:07.819 --> 00:19:10.559 that are you doing an arena tour with it yeah 465 00:19:10.579 --> 00:19:13.049 we're gonna we're gonna leave when that's allowed again when 466 00:19:13.069 --> 00:19:16.529 we're allowed to go out and we'll be we'll hopefully 467 00:19:16.549 --> 00:19:18.349 be breaking the world record for the biggest live podcast 468 00:19:18.369 --> 00:19:20.269 because we're sold out wembley in like in like a. 469 00:19:20.269 --> 00:19:23.809 Day amazing wembley amazing but i mean it's amazing but 470 00:19:23.849 --> 00:19:25.369 it's just hanging there it's gonna be your. 471 00:19:25.349 --> 00:19:27.049 Child care chris you're both. 472 00:19:26.890 --> 00:19:29.480 Working honestly right we've been locked down for so much 473 00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:31.380 when we're gonna leave again i'm honestly not bothered who 474 00:19:31.420 --> 00:19:32.539 i leave them with i might just put them in 475 00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:35.519 a bin and just just honestly I'm not going to, 476 00:19:35.539 --> 00:19:36.940 you know, normally you go, don't let him stay with 477 00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:38.900 the grandparents too long because, you know, they let him 478 00:19:38.920 --> 00:19:39.839 get away with murder. 479 00:19:39.880 --> 00:19:41.640 And honestly, he's going to, I'm going to take him 480 00:19:41.700 --> 00:19:42.349 to my dad's house. 481 00:19:42.369 --> 00:19:43.390 I'm going to drop him off. I'm going to drop 482 00:19:43.410 --> 00:19:46.609 off a couple of GCSE revision books. He's sued for 483 00:19:46.690 --> 00:19:50.319 prom when he goes to prom. let's go look come 484 00:19:50.359 --> 00:19:51.710 back let us know how you get on in your 485 00:19:51.759 --> 00:19:54.039 a-levels come back come come back and see your dad. 486 00:19:55.500 --> 00:19:57.640 But basically it's really been really strange for rosie because 487 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:01.099 she was essentially in lockdown years ago while she just 488 00:20:01.160 --> 00:20:03.200 had a child and i was on tour and she 489 00:20:03.240 --> 00:20:05.380 had no identity and not knowing what to do And 490 00:20:05.420 --> 00:20:07.759 last year we did the podcast and she did everything. 491 00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:10.359 And it's, it's sort of all came crushing back for Rosie. 492 00:20:10.420 --> 00:20:11.880 Cause it's now like, right, you're back at home and 493 00:20:11.900 --> 00:20:13.900 you've got a toddler and you can't go anywhere. So 494 00:20:13.940 --> 00:20:15.779 it's kind of all went back. So I've been trying 495 00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:18.089 my hardest to take the lion's share while, you know, 496 00:20:18.109 --> 00:20:21.829 while we've been in lockdown. Plus I'm essentially unemployed apart 497 00:20:21.849 --> 00:20:23.869 from the podcast. And she's still got lots of stuff 498 00:20:23.910 --> 00:20:26.289 to do on Instagram and things. So she's, She's doing 499 00:20:26.309 --> 00:20:28.069 a lot of adverts and a lot of things every day. 500 00:20:28.130 --> 00:20:31.930 It's switched around now, really. So you're the main caregiver. Yeah, 501 00:20:32.210 --> 00:20:35.829 it's completely swapped on its head. I weirdly wrote the 502 00:20:35.890 --> 00:20:38.470 idea for a script about that happening ages ago, and 503 00:20:38.779 --> 00:20:40.450 I couldn't come up with the idea of why it 504 00:20:40.490 --> 00:20:40.880 would happen. 505 00:20:40.900 --> 00:20:42.900 And I was like, oh, lockdown made it happen. It's 506 00:20:42.920 --> 00:20:46.619 literally made it with a breadwinner. She's literally earning money 507 00:20:46.660 -->

00:20:47.099 and I'm not. 508 00:20:47.240 --> 00:20:49.099 How do you feel like, to a bit feel like 509 00:20:49.319 --> 00:20:52.460 this is, because I presumably kind of never imagined that 510 00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:53.099 this would happen. 511 00:20:54.170 --> 00:20:57.450 Are you loving it or are you missing working? 512 00:20:57.950 --> 00:20:59.289 Do you know what? Basically. 513 00:21:00.109 --> 00:21:03.309 I've always wanted more time at home and I've always said, right, 514 00:21:03.410 --> 00:21:05.509 after this year, at the end of every tour, I'll 515 00:21:05.529 --> 00:21:07.690 get drunk in Newcastle Arena or whatever and I'll go, right, 516 00:21:07.730 --> 00:21:08.750 I'm having the year off. 517 00:21:08.789 --> 00:21:10.670 I want to see my family. And then, you know, 518 00:21:10.690 --> 00:21:12.490 my management phone and go, we've got this. And I go, 519 00:21:12.509 --> 00:21:14.450 of course. And I go and do whatever the thing is. 520 00:21:15.029 --> 00:21:17.910 Five months of Strictly. Yeah. 521 00:21:17.990 --> 00:21:20.170 Mate, that was supposed to be a year off. Last 522 00:21:20.190 --> 00:21:21.289 year was supposed to be a year. 523 00:21:21.170 --> 00:21:22.950 Off and I was at Strictly and I was away for, yeah, 524 00:21:22.970 --> 00:21:24.650 like they go, oh, you can train at home. 525 00:21:24.690 --> 00:21:26.539 You can't train at home. They never let you train 526 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:29.759 at home. You've got to go to London every five minutes. 527 00:21:30.779 --> 00:21:33.180 But yeah, so it's, I've always wanted time off and 528 00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:35.279 I've always wanted more time at home and Christ alive, 529 00:21:35.319 --> 00:21:36.700 this is not how I wanted it and it's not 530 00:21:36.740 --> 00:21:39.140 how I pictured it. But I have to, because we 531 00:21:39.180 --> 00:21:41.049 all have, let's be honest here, we're all having days 532 00:21:41.069 --> 00:21:42.589 where sometimes you just don't want to get out of bed. 533 00:21:42.609 --> 00:21:44.930 You're like, what is the point in this? I never 534 00:21:44.970 --> 00:21:48.730 thought I'd miss soft play, but the spot was... There's 535 00:21:48.769 --> 00:21:50.230 part of us that say, oh God, I would give 536 00:21:50.289 --> 00:21:54.150 anything to go back there now. But yeah, I'm trying 537 00:21:54.170 --> 00:21:55.819 to look on the bright side of it. And every 538 00:21:55.859 --> 00:21:57.640 time if I get down, if I get annoyed, if 539 00:21:57.680 --> 00:21:59.480 I get a bit short with Robin, I just try 540 00:21:59.500 --> 00:22:02.000 and think, right, look, this isn't going to last forever. 541 00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:05.180 We're either going to, the lockdown's easing as we go, 542 00:22:05.259 --> 00:22:06.900 touch wood, it's going to keep going, or they're going 543 00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:09.829 to find a vaccine. God, everything crossed so that people 544 00:22:09.849 --> 00:22:13.670 can sort of act differently. what normal whatever normal is 545 00:22:13.869 --> 00:22:16.630 again in public and hopefully come to gigs because my 546 00:22:16.690 --> 00:22:18.160 thought has been i don't know if you guys have 547 00:22:18.180 --> 00:22:21.180 thought this what's gonna happen if they go ah yeah 548 00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:23.460 okay you can go to theaters now it's still around 549 00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:25.359 but you can go to theaters i mean we've had 550 00:22:25.400 --> 00:22:28.170 tough gigs where half the crowd aren't feeling it i 551 00:22:28.230 --> 00:22:29.470 can't imagine what a gig. 552 00:22:29.349 --> 00:22:30.910 Is gonna be like when half of them are fearing 553 00:22:30.950 --> 00:22:35.269 for their fucking lives Do you know what I mean? 554 00:22:35.329 --> 00:22:37.710 Half of them are feeling the rise. You can't hear 555 00:22:37.750 --> 00:22:39.710 half of them laughing because they've got fucking masks on. 556 00:22:39.970 --> 00:22:44.009 I'd rather there was a vaccine, if I'm totally honest 557 00:22:44.049 --> 00:22:45.789 with you. Of course. 558 00:22:45.809 --> 00:22:48.349 Do you want to go to Wembley Arena to see 559 00:22:48.369 --> 00:22:52.150 the podcast and maybe die or just sit at home 560 00:22:52.170 --> 00:22:54.069 and listen to it? Yeah, exactly. 561 00:22:54.390 --> 00:22:57.150 You know they release it on Friday with no health scares. 562 00:22:57.309 --> 00:23:04.119 All right, okay, good, yeah. How was it, though, a 563 00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:05.680 look there with Robin? You know, was it all right? 564 00:23:05.700 --> 00:23:08.019 Was it fun or was there any disasters or, you know? 565 00:23:08.299 --> 00:23:11.200 You know, the main one has been, right, and I 566 00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:12.730 can't blame him because he hasn't done it on purpose, 567 00:23:12.769 --> 00:23:14.970 but sometimes, you know, sometimes when your kid does something 568 00:23:14.990 --> 00:23:15.190 and you. 569 00:23:15.170 --> 00:23:17.670 Think, is this a wind-up? Have they been sent? I'm 570 00:23:17.789 --> 00:23:19.069 not the whole oldest thing in the world is have 571 00:23:19.089 --> 00:23:21.309 they been sent to test you, but sometimes he does 572 00:23:21.390 --> 00:23:24.380 things and I think this has specifically been orchestrated to 573 00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.099 piss me off. 574 00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:28.880 Like specifically. So obviously lockdown happens. We've got to stay 575 00:23:28.900 --> 00:23:30.759 at home. We don't know what we're doing for the foreseeable. 576 00:23:31.019 --> 00:23:32.279 He's going to have more screen time. 577 00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:34.190 He's four. He's going to watch more telly. He's going 578 00:23:34.210 --> 00:23:34.930 to watch more iPads. 579 00:23:35.589 --> 00:23:37.109 No word of a lie. The first day of lockdown, 580 00:23:37.130 --> 00:23:38.250 we had him on the telly for about, he was 581 00:23:38.269 --> 00:23:40.109 watching telly for about 10,

20 minutes. And I stood 582 00:23:40.130 --> 00:23:41.150 in front of him and I looked at him and 583 00:23:41.269 --> 00:23:43.359 one of his eyes was moving into the middle. He 584 00:23:43.380 --> 00:23:45.539 started going cross-eyed the first day. 585 00:23:45.940 --> 00:23:49.180 The first day. So we literally went, oh, what's that? 586 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:51.460 More screen time? What's that? The opticians are shut. Right, 587 00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:53.400 here we go. Time to go cross-eyed. 588 00:23:53.799 --> 00:23:54.220 It's been. 589 00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:56.500 Because you look at him and he's sitting, his left 590 00:23:56.619 --> 00:23:57.319 eye goes into the middle. 591 00:23:57.680 --> 00:23:59.349 And you look at him and you go, I feel 592 00:23:59.369 --> 00:24:00.329 guilty for you watching this. 593 00:24:00.680 --> 00:24:02.410 You're sitting watching Tom and Jerry or whatever. 594 00:24:02.430 --> 00:24:02.809 And I'm like. 595 00:24:03.549 --> 00:24:06.009 This is bad. This is really, really worrying. 596 00:24:06.049 --> 00:24:08.289 And, you know, we've been trying to get him referred 597 00:24:08.309 --> 00:24:10.279 to specialists and all kinds, but I just think, I 598 00:24:10.299 --> 00:24:12.339 just really think he did it on purpose. 599 00:24:14.900 --> 00:24:15.640 I just really think. 600 00:24:17.750 --> 00:24:18.089 And like. 601 00:24:18.660 --> 00:24:19.650 Yeah, just the whole thing. 602 00:24:19.670 --> 00:24:23.009 You just, you feel, it's just, everything is heightened. Everything 603 00:24:23.029 --> 00:24:25.710 has been heightened during the lockdown. And it's, you know, honestly, Rob, 604 00:24:25.750 --> 00:24:27.569 just there when you said, what was it like during lockdown? 605 00:24:27.609 --> 00:24:29.029 And you sort of mentioned it in the past tense. 606 00:24:29.089 --> 00:24:31.309 I nearly cried with joy there when you said it. 607 00:24:31.509 --> 00:24:33.789 And it was like slight past tense. Because it is 608 00:24:33.849 --> 00:24:35.430 sort of easing now when we can do a bit 609 00:24:35.470 --> 00:24:38.859 more things. And, oh, it's just been, it's been really, 610 00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:41.099 he's my best mate. And it's lovely to be with 611 00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:43.539 him and have so much time with him. But freaking hell, oh, 612 00:24:43.559 --> 00:24:45.529 you just wish there was a pause button. I just 613 00:24:45.549 --> 00:24:47.650 wish I could go, right, pause for one second. Because 614 00:24:48.089 --> 00:24:52.089 he started playing on the Switch. Basically, I walked in 615 00:24:52.109 --> 00:24:53.670 the living room one day and he was watching YouTube 616 00:24:53.710 --> 00:24:54.990 Kids and he was watching someone play. 617 00:24:54.910 --> 00:24:55.730 On Mario Odyssey. 618 00:24:56.190 --> 00:24:57.450 And I was like, you know, I've got that. I 619 00:24:57.450 --> 00:24:59.579 was like, you know, we can play on that. So 620 00:24:59.619 --> 00:25:01.220 his mind was blown that he could sit and play 621 00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:02.240 on Mario Odyssey with me. 622 00:25:02.259 --> 00:25:04.660 Yeah, it was great, man. 623 00:25:04.680 --> 00:25:08.440 And it's such a lovely, gentle game. But it's also, genuinely, 624 00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:10.000 I think one of the best computer games ever made, 625 00:25:10.019 --> 00:25:10.440 Mario Odyssey. 626 00:25:10.460 --> 00:25:10.980 It's incredible. 627 00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:13.019 It's incredible on all levels, right? 628 00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:17.599 And it starts off, he just sits and watches you. 629 00:25:17.740 --> 00:25:20.200 And you're like, well, this is a dream. He's just 630 00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:21.019 watching us play. 631 00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:24.880 This is just the greatest thing in the world. 632 00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:26.660 This is like being at your mate's house, but they 633 00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:30.980 never want a shot. And then it's daddy, can I 634 00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:32.759 have a turn? And then I've just got to sit 635 00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:34.980 biting my lip while he's just walking Mario into a 636 00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:36.440 fucking wall for 45 minutes. 637 00:25:37.569 --> 00:25:38.289 You know what I mean? 638 00:25:38.390 --> 00:25:40.390 Is it too old to give him a control that 639 00:25:40.410 --> 00:25:41.710 doesn't work and you pretend? 640 00:25:41.730 --> 00:25:46.259 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's a myth. Right, 641 00:25:46.319 --> 00:25:47.619 I'm going to order one today. I'm going to order 642 00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:48.299 another control pad. 643 00:25:48.339 --> 00:25:50.500 There you go. And then you're playing and then you're going, oh, 644 00:25:50.519 --> 00:25:50.980 well done. 645 00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:51.920 You're doing well, Robin. 646 00:25:51.960 --> 00:25:53.279 Look, you just did that. 647 00:25:53.299 --> 00:25:56.170 That is, you know, I don't... He'll be getting frustrated. 648 00:25:56.190 --> 00:25:57.869 Though, because he'll be going, I want him to walk 649 00:25:57.910 --> 00:25:58.829 into the wall and he's. 650 00:25:58.769 --> 00:25:59.210 Not doing that. 651 00:25:59.230 --> 00:26:08.440 LAUGHTER Oh, God. It's the turning it off, though. It's going, right, 652 00:26:08.460 --> 00:26:09.960 that's enough Mario now, finished. 653 00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:13.319 And he's like, but no. But Mario's still there. Why 654 00:26:13.339 --> 00:26:15.019 are we turning it off? And it's just World War 655 00:26:15.099 --> 00:26:15.519 III every. 656 00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:16.099 Time we turn it off. 657 00:26:16.279 --> 00:26:19.329 So I played the, there's a Sonic, that Tokyo Olympics 658 00:26:19.420 --> 00:26:21.380 Sonic game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was playing that 659 00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:24.430 with my daughters, four. And it's basically, it's really like 660 00:26:24.549 --> 00:26:26.769 for kids. So they're just a shaker controller and it 661 00:26:26.809 -->

00:26:29.430 makes their character run. Anyway, so she beat me on 662 00:26:29.470 --> 00:26:31.410 it a couple of times. Then I beat her. And 663 00:26:31.430 --> 00:26:34.690 she went into full meltdown because she lost. She's a terrible, 664 00:26:35.009 --> 00:26:40.069 terrible loser. And she cannot cope. And even like whenever 665 00:26:40.130 --> 00:26:42.549 there's a running race or something, she doesn't want to win. 666 00:26:42.589 --> 00:26:43.109 She cheats. 667 00:26:43.170 --> 00:26:45.150 So she'll say to a two-year-old, ready, steady, and then 668 00:26:45.269 --> 00:26:48.460 run just before go and has to win. And I just... 669 00:26:49.170 --> 00:26:51.190 I don't know what we're doing, because it's awful. It's 670 00:26:51.210 --> 00:26:53.579 sort of like, you know when you see documentaries about 671 00:26:53.700 --> 00:26:56.180 athletes at the highest level that are successful? 672 00:26:56.420 --> 00:26:57.420 She's Michael Jordan. 673 00:26:57.440 --> 00:27:00.799 Yeah, you're an awful person. 674 00:27:00.819 --> 00:27:02.779 Well, you're going to have to toe the line here, 675 00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:06.039 aren't you, between make her a competitive sporting genius and 676 00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:08.299 make her bearable to be around for other children when 677 00:27:08.339 --> 00:27:12.019 this lockdown finishes. Yeah, not an awful nightmare horror child. 678 00:27:12.259 --> 00:27:14.119 But you know, in 20 years, Rob, she could be 679 00:27:14.140 --> 00:27:17.140 starring in Space Jam. She could have six NBA titles. 680 00:27:17.240 --> 00:27:17.500 Yeah. 681 00:27:19.740 --> 00:27:22.900 Is Robbie back at school or nursery or anything? 682 00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:27.640 The nurseries are going to start letting them back in 683 00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:29.289 in bubbles, I think. 684 00:27:29.309 --> 00:27:31.250 Bubbles of six, they said. 685 00:27:31.289 --> 00:27:34.789 Groups of six, one morning and one afternoon. And I 686 00:27:34.829 --> 00:27:36.849 think that's going to happen shortly. I think that's going 687 00:27:36.869 --> 00:27:38.089 to happen in the next few weeks or so. 688 00:27:38.130 --> 00:27:39.730 I'm not sure. To be honest with you, I let 689 00:27:39.769 --> 00:27:40.579 Rosie deal with all that. 690 00:27:41.210 --> 00:27:42.940 I've got no idea. 691 00:27:43.599 --> 00:27:44.400 Yeah, I'm honest. 692 00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:46.220 I said that to you there, and I realized I 693 00:27:46.240 --> 00:27:48.339 was just repeating something I heard her say to someone 694 00:27:48.380 --> 00:27:48.819 on the phone. 695 00:27:48.940 --> 00:27:50.359 You've got no idea? 696 00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:51.609 Just things I've heard, yeah. 697 00:27:52.029 --> 00:27:55.630 The Nintendo Switch is where my expertise began and ended 698 00:27:55.769 --> 00:27:56.390 as a parent. 699 00:27:56.710 --> 00:27:59.309 What's he like as a child, then? Has he been 700 00:27:59.349 --> 00:28:01.460 an easy child as a parent, or do you think 701 00:28:01.500 --> 00:28:03.980 you've got a kind of child that's kind of intense? 702 00:28:04.779 --> 00:28:10.099 I think he is possibly... one of the most intense children. 703 00:28:10.180 --> 00:28:12.880 But again, you've met me. You know. 704 00:28:13.480 --> 00:28:15.700 And Rosie's not quiet either, is she? 705 00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:16.599 Rosie's not a quiet. 706 00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:20.079 Yeah, she's not a shy, retiring wallflower either. So it's like... 707 00:28:20.829 --> 00:28:24.509 He is us. He is basically us. I mean, Rosie's 708 00:28:24.529 --> 00:28:27.670 an amazing singer. She's such a good singer. And when 709 00:28:27.710 --> 00:28:30.190 I started, you know, when we first got together, you'd 710 00:28:30.210 --> 00:28:31.619 hear her singing now and then around the house and 711 00:28:31.630 --> 00:28:32.460 you'd be like, oh, that's lovely. 712 00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:33.880 And people think, oh, does she sing around the house? 713 00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:35.079 And go, yeah, you know, now and then you can 714 00:28:35.099 --> 00:28:36.700 hear her just humming out a little melody or whatever. 715 00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:37.240 And it's great. 716 00:28:37.660 --> 00:28:41.259 But sometimes she will full on begin to belt out 717 00:28:41.319 --> 00:28:43.920 like a show number from another room. And it literally 718 00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:46.289 sounds like someone's screaming, like when you can't hear it. 719 00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:49.670 So he's got that to sort of contend with. He's 720 00:28:49.690 --> 00:28:52.769 got my sort of nonstop talking and loudness. And then 721 00:28:52.809 --> 00:28:54.910 if me and her are having some kind of heated debate, 722 00:28:54.930 --> 00:28:55.430 I don't. 723 00:28:55.329 --> 00:28:56.950 Know if your kids do this, but not an argument 724 00:28:56.970 --> 00:28:58.269 because we don't argue in front of them really. But 725 00:28:58.329 --> 00:28:59.079 if we're having like a. 726 00:28:59.509 --> 00:29:01.089 you know, oh, well, you said that, I know, well, 727 00:29:01.130 --> 00:29:03.450 you said that, kind of wind each other up. He 728 00:29:03.500 --> 00:29:05.680 just goes, oh, okay, so we're playing who can be 729 00:29:05.700 --> 00:29:08.980 the loudest dickhead, and he'll just start screaming and going crazy. 730 00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:11.660 Do you know what I mean? For attention or just 731 00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:12.390 to be a part of it? 732 00:29:12.859 --> 00:29:14.940 Sometimes he runs and gets his drum kit. Like. 733 00:29:16.539 --> 00:29:18.980 Just because he's like oh it's loud time is it 734 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:23.160 loud time is it craziness but he's he's a he's 735 00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:27.390 a loving really really genuinely loving lovely. 736 00:29:27.049 --> 00:29:29.589 Little boy and i'm so proud of him for how 737 00:29:29.650 --> 00:29:32.069 lush he is but you know like anything it's like 738 00:29:32.109 -->

00:29:34.009 anything with parenting you know if i came on this 739 00:29:34.049 --> 00:29:36.170 podcast now and i just talked about how much i 740 00:29:36.190 --> 00:29:38.190 loved him you'd be like well that's nice but that 741 00:29:38.210 --> 00:29:38.650 was wet. 742 00:29:38.569 --> 00:29:43.619 Yeah That was wet. I've always said this. I remember 743 00:29:43.630 --> 00:29:45.380 I got a tweet once from someone saying, you're just 744 00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:46.740 slagging your kid off. And I was like, well, I 745 00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:48.259 can't just go on about how much I love him, 746 00:29:48.299 --> 00:29:49.779 but that's taken as read. 747 00:29:49.799 --> 00:29:50.779 That's a given. 748 00:29:50.819 --> 00:29:52.779 Of course I love him. I have to. You don't 749 00:29:52.819 --> 00:29:53.380 have to. 750 00:29:53.420 --> 00:29:54.539 That's quite telling. 751 00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:56.720 Yeah, maybe cut that bit out. Cut the have to 752 00:29:56.740 --> 00:29:56.930 bit out. 753 00:29:59.420 --> 00:30:02.059 Do you and Rosie ever disagree about parenting? Is there 754 00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:04.339 anything that sort of crops up where you've disagreed on 755 00:30:04.359 --> 00:30:06.019 how something should be done or are you quite. 756 00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:09.930 On the same page? I stopped sort of trying to 757 00:30:09.970 --> 00:30:13.430 fight that battle a long time ago. um she's genuinely 758 00:30:13.470 --> 00:30:15.210 just better than me i've said it before me stand 759 00:30:15.250 --> 00:30:17.309 up she's just a better human being than me and 760 00:30:17.329 --> 00:30:19.289 i know that sounds like i've been institutionalized by her 761 00:30:19.309 --> 00:30:22.869 during lockdown i'm now just her mouthpiece um but she's 762 00:30:22.890 --> 00:30:24.710 just really good she worked in nurseries back in the 763 00:30:24.730 --> 00:30:26.410 day as well and she's just really really good with 764 00:30:26.450 --> 00:30:28.809 kids okay so like i say it's it's yeah but 765 00:30:28.849 --> 00:30:30.730 you know sometimes i feel like going well if you're 766 00:30:30.759 --> 00:30:32.859 so good you do it all all the time 24 767 00:30:32.859 --> 00:30:34.799 7 but it doesn't work like that that's. 768 00:30:34.700 --> 00:30:35.920 A Bonus though, isn't it? 769 00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:38.720 The nursery skill. So she can call on that at 770 00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:41.400 any point. That's like having a professional living in your 771 00:30:41.420 --> 00:30:42.299 house to help you. 772 00:30:42.500 --> 00:30:43.279 Absolutely, yeah. 773 00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:46.430 For me, because Lou's a teacher, secondary school teacher, anything 774 00:30:46.509 --> 00:30:48.970 that comes with education, I just walk out the room. 775 00:30:49.289 --> 00:30:51.589 There's literally no point in me doing any of this. 776 00:30:51.869 --> 00:30:54.670 You're the education person. When it comes to schools, teaching, 777 00:30:54.690 --> 00:30:57.430 the homework, that is your field. Off you go. If 778 00:30:57.450 --> 00:30:59.430 they need to speak to someone, I'll sort them out. 779 00:30:59.710 --> 00:31:01.779 If they've got to ring someone up or speak to 780 00:31:01.799 --> 00:31:04.420 someone in public, I'll do that. you do teaching and 781 00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:05.839 you just tap out so it must be the same 782 00:31:05.859 --> 00:31:08.660 for you with the nursery yeah well i used. 783 00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:09.869 To what i used to do i'll just remember this 784 00:31:09.910 --> 00:31:12.089 this used to be our main pet peeve this used 785 00:31:12.109 --> 00:31:13.829 to be the main thing that rosie always had to 786 00:31:13.849 --> 00:31:16.569 go at us for and quite rightly really i used 787 00:31:16.609 --> 00:31:19.099 to if she was telling them off i would kind 788 00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:21.740 of chime in as well like a hype man like 789 00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:23.500 i mean. 790 00:31:25.089 --> 00:31:27.069 I'd like, it would be like bad cop, bad cop. 791 00:31:27.150 --> 00:31:28.769 And I'd like chiming as well. She'd be like, Robin, 792 00:31:29.029 --> 00:31:30.109 put that down. Get down off there. 793 00:31:30.130 --> 00:31:31.650 I'd be like, get down, put that, do what your 794 00:31:31.670 --> 00:31:33.869 mom says. And she's like, I don't need you to 795 00:31:33.910 --> 00:31:36.029 chime in and do this. So now I just leave 796 00:31:36.069 --> 00:31:36.390 the room. 797 00:31:36.730 --> 00:31:38.549 If he's having, if he's being told off, I just 798 00:31:38.589 --> 00:31:40.210 have to walk away because there's a part of us 799 00:31:40.250 --> 00:31:42.490 that I'm like, look, I'm helping. And it's like, you're 800 00:31:42.509 --> 00:31:44.269 not helping Chris. You're making it much worse and you're 801 00:31:44.289 --> 00:31:44.869 stressing him out. 802 00:31:45.849 --> 00:31:46.109 Yeah. 803 00:31:47.150 --> 00:31:49.920 Crazy. Ganging up like, yeah, I could be a good 804 00:31:49.940 --> 00:31:51.420 parent too. I'll just do what you do. 805 00:31:52.039 --> 00:31:52.339 Yeah. 806 00:31:54.269 --> 00:31:56.470 And am I right in saying to Robin's lost, he 807 00:31:57.130 --> 00:31:58.730 lost his front teeth, didn't he? 808 00:31:58.789 --> 00:31:59.869 Oh God. Yeah. 809 00:32:00.009 --> 00:32:02.559 So basically he had one of them, you know, the 810 00:32:02.599 --> 00:32:05.220 balance bikes where there's no pedals, they just run. 811 00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:06.819 They're basically running on a bike. 812 00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:09.200 He had one of them from, you know, as old 813 00:32:09.240 --> 00:32:10.700 as you allowed one, I think it was two, just 814 00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:13.079 before two, you allowed them. And he had one and 815 00:32:13.099 --> 00:32:15.400 he was, he was amazing on it, but he was 816 00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:17.940 amazing at the point of, he didn't understand fear. 817 00:32:18.339 -->

00:32:19.480 Like he got so. 818 00:32:19.220 --> 00:32:21.200 Good on this and he was just like, and it 819 00:32:21.220 --> 00:32:23.849 was like, Everyone used to say, my God, he's fantastic 820 00:32:23.890 --> 00:32:27.130 on that. And it's a real bone of contention, right? 821 00:32:27.150 --> 00:32:29.509 So there's this place in South Shields called the Amphitheater. 822 00:32:29.609 --> 00:32:33.089 It's an open-air performance space down on the seafront that 823 00:32:33.109 --> 00:32:35.410 they do little festivals there in the summer. And it's 824 00:32:35.430 --> 00:32:39.430 got an under-walkway bit that's covered over. Now, the floor 825 00:32:39.450 --> 00:32:39.990 of that is. 826 00:32:39.910 --> 00:32:44.380 Tiled, right? But there's sort of sand everywhere because it's windy. 827 00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:44.940 It's the north. 828 00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:47.819 So he's coming down this hill that's paved, and then 829 00:32:47.859 --> 00:32:49.859 it goes under the tiled floor bit and. 830 00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:50.980 Turns to the right, okay? 831 00:32:51.319 --> 00:32:53.359 And what did it, he's only little, and I'm running 832 00:32:53.420 --> 00:32:56.359 alongside him on this bike, and my heart's in my throat. 833 00:32:56.420 --> 00:32:59.119 It's terrifying, right? And Rosie's just sitting watching me. And 834 00:32:59.140 --> 00:33:00.680 he went down, and I went, right, I don't think 835 00:33:00.700 --> 00:33:01.279 we should do this again. 836 00:33:01.299 --> 00:33:03.019 He went, one more. I went, right, one more. He 837 00:33:03.059 --> 00:33:05.180 did three times. Three's a magic number. I let him 838 00:33:05.220 --> 00:33:06.980 do three. I went, there we go, that's it. And 839 00:33:07.029 --> 00:33:07.660 he started crying. 840 00:33:07.700 --> 00:33:09.180 He went, I want to do it again. And Rosie went, 841 00:33:09.380 --> 00:33:12.750 let him do it again. And I said the words, no, 842 00:33:13.089 --> 00:33:14.029 he nearly fell. 843 00:33:14.450 --> 00:33:20.180 It's dangerous. And she said... And she said, do it again. 844 00:33:20.279 --> 00:33:22.000 Go on, just let him do it again. And we 845 00:33:22.059 --> 00:33:24.279 did it again. And on that one, he's got too 846 00:33:24.299 --> 00:33:26.259 much sand on his wheel. He slipped and his face 847 00:33:26.279 --> 00:33:28.339 hit the deck and both his front teeth, he snapped 848 00:33:28.359 --> 00:33:29.259 his two front teeth in half. 849 00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:32.440 And it was the. 850 00:33:32.019 --> 00:33:34.359 Worst, one of the worst moments of my life. 851 00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:36.319 Like without a doubt, like he just hit the deck 852 00:33:36.599 --> 00:33:37.900 and he lifted his face up and there was just 853 00:33:37.960 --> 00:33:39.609 blood all over his face and two bits of his 854 00:33:39.640 --> 00:33:40.289 teeth were missing. 855 00:33:40.750 --> 00:33:44.049 And Rosie handled it like a champ and I was flapping. 856 00:33:44.549 --> 00:33:45.890 Like, oh, what are you doing? 857 00:33:45.910 --> 00:33:48.170 I'm like, well, oh my God, of course you are, mate. 858 00:33:48.250 --> 00:33:50.809 Oh my God, Rosie, his teeth, he's broke his teeth, 859 00:33:50.849 --> 00:33:51.210 oh God. 860 00:33:51.230 --> 00:33:52.730 She was like, calm down, go and get the car. 861 00:33:52.750 --> 00:33:54.789 And I ran, like I've never ran to the car park, 862 00:33:54.829 --> 00:33:57.450 got the car, literally screeched around the corner, jumped in 863 00:33:57.470 --> 00:33:59.740 the car, we drove off. She was like, calm your 864 00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:01.240 driving down or we're going to crash on the way 865 00:34:01.259 --> 00:34:01.839 to the hospital. 866 00:34:01.859 --> 00:34:05.099 You idiot. So we drove up there to the hospital. 867 00:34:05.119 --> 00:34:05.700 We had a look at it. 868 00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:07.299 We went to the dentist the day after, they sort 869 00:34:07.319 --> 00:34:09.840 of filled them in. But then all these gums were like, 870 00:34:09.880 --> 00:34:11.769 they went a bit black and all these gums were really. 871 00:34:11.690 --> 00:34:13.849 Lumpy and stuff. So it was basically getting infected. And 872 00:34:13.869 --> 00:34:15.469 he got them taken out. Wow. 873 00:34:15.769 --> 00:34:17.050 And does it affect him in any way? 874 00:34:17.329 --> 00:34:21.769 Absolutely not. They're just so resilient. And I don't know 875 00:34:21.869 --> 00:34:23.289 where you get it from. I'm a wimp. And he 876 00:34:23.349 --> 00:34:25.309 is literally one of the hardest people I've ever met 877 00:34:25.329 --> 00:34:29.550 in my life. He's like nails. It's unbelievable. 878 00:34:29.909 --> 00:34:33.909 Does Rosie refute that story then? Or is it a 879 00:34:33.909 --> 00:34:36.429 given that she said one more time and you stopped talking? 880 00:34:36.829 --> 00:34:39.429 All the years I've known you and you don't believe me. Well, 881 00:34:39.449 --> 00:34:41.099 what is this? 882 00:34:41.260 --> 00:34:45.099 I'm not saying it. I'm on your side here. But 883 00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:47.360 if we get Rosie on the podcast, will she say 884 00:34:47.380 --> 00:34:47.900 it differently? 885 00:34:48.039 --> 00:34:53.800 Listen, she's busy. She's busy. She can't come on your podcast. 886 00:34:53.820 --> 00:34:55.030 Do not contact her. 887 00:34:58.179 --> 00:35:00.500 We're going to bring her out now like I'm surprise, surprise. 888 00:35:00.519 --> 00:35:02.780 I feel like Keir Starmer. Let me just clarify the 889 00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:07.139 point here. If we had Rosie on the show, would 890 00:35:07.199 --> 00:35:09.960 she say that she said go again and you said 891 00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:10.539 it's dangerous? 892 00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:11.780 She will. 893 00:35:12.300 --> 00:35:14.480 She will agree, but she will then probably put forward 894 00:35:14.500 --> 00:35:16.199 the point that I should have just caught him like 895

00:35:16.239 --> 00:35:16.579 I did. 896 00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:17.449 The previous three times. 897 00:35:18.030 --> 00:35:18.730 Fair enough. 898 00:35:18.809 --> 00:35:21.469 So, I mean, we've had that argument a lot. But 899 00:35:22.050 --> 00:35:22.440 what was. 900 00:35:22.380 --> 00:35:26.380 Interesting about what happened was, we took him to Newcastle, 901 00:35:26.440 --> 00:35:29.820 to the RVI hospital, to get the teeth taken out, right? 902 00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:31.559 And it was so strange. 903 00:35:31.639 --> 00:35:33.679 I had to kind of drop him at one door, 904 00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:35.940 and then he went in with the nurse and sort 905 00:35:35.980 --> 00:35:37.940 of put him under anaesthetic and pulled the teeth out. 906 00:35:38.239 --> 00:35:40.800 And we had to walk around this kind of one-way corridor. 907 00:35:40.969 --> 00:35:42.289 You kind of dropped him off, and then you walked 908 00:35:42.309 --> 00:35:43.469 around the other way, and then he came out at 909 00:35:43.489 --> 00:35:46.389 the other end like a conveyor belt, like dropping your luggage. 910 00:35:46.170 --> 00:35:46.849 At the airport. 911 00:35:47.090 --> 00:35:47.349 But, like. 912 00:35:48.250 --> 00:35:49.250 Really? 913 00:35:49.550 --> 00:35:51.699 Did you tie something around him so he'd recognise him 914 00:35:51.719 --> 00:35:53.679 when he came round? 915 00:35:53.760 --> 00:36:01.420 I cling filmed him, like people do. When he came. 916 00:35:58.869 --> 00:35:59.389 Round, right? 917 00:36:00.170 --> 00:36:02.210 Honestly, we got round, we were so worried. 918 00:36:02.250 --> 00:36:04.550 I think I was probably crying, I'm a disgrace, but 919 00:36:04.570 --> 00:36:07.329 we were walking round. And he came out and he 920 00:36:07.369 --> 00:36:10.829 was sitting, eating, both front teeth gone, sitting, eating jelly 921 00:36:10.989 --> 00:36:11.769 on the nurse's knee. 922 00:36:12.030 --> 00:36:13.349 And she was like, I can't believe it. 923 00:36:13.349 --> 00:36:15.389 She was like, literally, we'll put a tiny bit of 924 00:36:15.409 --> 00:36:17.010 the gas to just to chat. 925 00:36:17.050 --> 00:36:19.110 Did they even do the gas? I can't remember, but 926 00:36:19.159 --> 00:36:20.570 they didn't have to properly put him asleep. 927 00:36:20.590 --> 00:36:21.719 They just did it. And it was out and there's 928 00:36:21.739 --> 00:36:23.920 other kids screaming. And he was just sitting there eating 929 00:36:24.139 --> 00:36:27.739 a little tub of jelly, just buzzing. And he was, honestly, 930 00:36:27.780 --> 00:36:29.440 we hadn't realised. But he was a different kid once 931 00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:30.110 I got them taken out. 932 00:36:30.139 --> 00:36:30.639 He was all good. 933 00:36:30.760 --> 00:36:32.719 Well, yeah, the same thing happened to my daughter, but 934 00:36:32.739 --> 00:36:35.769 not as traumatic as that. She fell over and banged 935 00:36:35.829 --> 00:36:37.690 her two front teeth and they were a bit wobbly. 936 00:36:37.730 --> 00:36:39.309 We took her to the dentist and they said they'll 937 00:36:39.329 --> 00:36:41.929 either firm up or fall out. So they fell out 938 00:36:41.949 --> 00:36:43.849 when she was like six months ago. 939 00:36:43.889 --> 00:36:45.909 Sorry, that's a very gung-ho attitude. 940 00:36:45.989 --> 00:36:50.559 I hate it when medical professionals just expect you to 941 00:36:50.579 --> 00:36:52.440 be as cool as they are with stuff like that. 942 00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:56.019 Oh they'll firm up a fallout no. 943 00:36:56.199 --> 00:37:01.199 Good luck with it i know but they did fall 944 00:37:01.340 --> 00:37:03.789 out so she's had she hasn't had two front teeth 945 00:37:03.889 --> 00:37:06.110 for like about six months and she's only four and 946 00:37:06.150 --> 00:37:07.449 a half so it's another like year it could be 947 00:37:07.469 --> 00:37:09.530 another two years yeah until she has it and it's 948 00:37:09.570 --> 00:37:12.289 so i forget but you know she's gonna look completely 949 00:37:12.329 --> 00:37:14.329 different with when she gets all her teeth back but 950 00:37:14.349 --> 00:37:16.699 but after a sweepstake and who's come through first correct 951 00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:18.360 me well. 952 00:37:18.280 --> 00:37:20.199 The best bit is man like obviously you know the 953 00:37:20.260 --> 00:37:21.619 the oldest phrase in the book when you say a 954 00:37:21.619 --> 00:37:23.699 little boy with no teeth you see people strangers say 955 00:37:23.719 --> 00:37:25.619 oh have you been kissing the girls who've lost your 956 00:37:25.639 --> 00:37:28.780 front teeth and he always properly loudly goes no i 957 00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:31.760 fell off my bike and you're like oh shut up 958 00:37:31.780 --> 00:37:32.539 man just just. 959 00:37:32.460 --> 00:37:34.159 Say yes just say the fellow. 960 00:37:36.269 --> 00:37:38.170 Chris, obviously you said that you're a bit of a 961 00:37:38.170 --> 00:37:41.719 flapper and a bit emotional and rosy, you know, a 962 00:37:41.739 --> 00:37:43.800 bit more level-headed and stuff like that. How did you 963 00:37:43.820 --> 00:37:45.940 find the birth? Were you there for the birth? And 964 00:37:45.980 --> 00:37:47.940 was it like, how did you cope? Because I found 965 00:37:47.960 --> 00:37:50.780 it very difficult and very stressful when you lose all 966 00:37:50.800 --> 00:37:52.909 sort of control because there's nothing you can do to help. 967 00:37:53.519 --> 00:37:54.280 Yeah, there was that. 968 00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:56.360 I mean, it is the most helpless and pathetic you'll 969 00:37:56.400 --> 00:37:59.360 feel as a man in the whole world. There's nothing 970 00:37:59.380 --> 00:38:02.920 you can do. And I remember at one point during the... 971 00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:06.559 So Rosie was really shown really big, right? Robin was 972 00:38:06.579 --> 00:38:09.219 a huge bump. And we went for a scan and 973 00:38:09.239 --> 00:38:11.139 they didn't

know if it was like sort of water 974 00:38:12.039 --> 00:38:14.400 retention and stuff or if he was actually genuinely massive. 975 00:38:14.420 --> 00:38:16.179 They did a really weird thing. Again, it was kind 976 00:38:16.199 --> 00:38:18.179 of like firm up a fallout. They were like, well, 977 00:38:18.199 --> 00:38:21.110 he's either eight pound or 11 pounds. And I was like... 978 00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:23.739 fuck you need a new machine like that's. 979 00:38:25.739 --> 00:38:28.400 That's your thing like that's your parameters like what the 980 00:38:28.440 --> 00:38:31.500 hell so he's either quite big or fucking huge like 981 00:38:32.469 --> 00:38:35.789 so she didn't want a c-section they said you can 982 00:38:35.809 --> 00:38:36.929 have a c-section said she'll. 983 00:38:36.789 --> 00:38:40.050 Try normally um again as a man i'll never understand. 984 00:38:39.690 --> 00:38:41.710 That um do you know what i mean like do 985 00:38:41.730 --> 00:38:43.110 you want that out now or do you want to 986 00:38:43.130 --> 00:38:45.599 like possibly sit for 36 hours in agony. 987 00:38:47.090 --> 00:38:47.329 Now? 988 00:38:47.389 --> 00:38:48.989 Is now okay? 989 00:38:49.269 --> 00:38:51.469 But, you know, anyway, I mean, it's a big thing 990 00:38:51.510 --> 00:38:53.170 to be fair. It's afterwards, isn't it? You can barely 991 00:38:53.190 --> 00:38:53.610 move in that. 992 00:38:53.650 --> 00:38:57.750 But anyway, I went out halfway through. She was induced 993 00:38:57.789 --> 00:38:59.110 and everything. I had to go out and, like, sit 994 00:38:59.150 --> 00:38:59.949 in the corridor and have. 995 00:38:59.889 --> 00:39:00.610 A little cry. 996 00:39:00.630 --> 00:39:03.469 And then she ended up having to have a C-section 997 00:39:03.510 --> 00:39:06.159 because he was 10 pounds, 11 and a half. 998 00:39:06.179 --> 00:39:09.079 Like, that's how big he was, which. 999 00:39:08.980 --> 00:39:10.920 Is, I never had a frame of reference for how 1000 00:39:10.940 --> 00:39:13.619 big kids were ever until I realized telling people that, 1001 00:39:13.659 --> 00:39:14.780 I always get that reaction. 1002 00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:16.219 People always just go, whoa. 1003 00:39:16.260 --> 00:39:18.079 Yeah, I mean, there is a frame of reference, and 1004 00:39:18.119 --> 00:39:22.840 that's not on the frame of reference. 1005 00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:23.510 That's a big old baby. 1006 00:39:23.570 --> 00:39:26.010 Yeah, but she had a C-section in the end, and 1007 00:39:26.030 --> 00:39:28.869 they were like, oh, you're going to stand this side, 1008 00:39:28.909 --> 00:39:29.929 and I was like, no. 1009 00:39:30.039 --> 00:39:32.429 Chance are you getting me business end. Like, no chance. 1010 00:39:32.469 --> 00:39:35.690 I had my forehead on her forehead up. They kind 1011 00:39:35.730 --> 00:39:36.909 of hold the gown up like a. 1012 00:39:37.429 --> 00:39:39.170 You know when you're... you're getting. 1013 00:39:39.050 --> 00:39:41.329 Changed at the beach and you can't hold it so 1014 00:39:41.349 --> 00:39:42.489 they kind of hold it up in front of your 1015 00:39:42.530 --> 00:39:44.250 faces and then you're doing whatever down there and you 1016 00:39:44.329 --> 00:39:47.210 can hear suction and blooming and all kinds of crap 1017 00:39:47.820 --> 00:39:49.860 and uh they got him out and he was that 1018 00:39:49.909 --> 00:39:52.539 big they were genuinely just like pissing themselves laughing and 1019 00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:55.079 like shouting of other like midwives and nurses and going 1020 00:39:55.099 --> 00:39:56.559 look at look at the size of this one. 1021 00:39:57.820 --> 00:39:59.539 And i'm going is it a boy or a girl 1022 00:39:59.559 --> 00:40:01.480 like what and they're going oh yeah it's a boy 1023 00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:03.679 but look at the size of him and it was amazing. 1024 00:40:03.360 --> 00:40:06.360 Wow Were they holding him up like when they catch 1025 00:40:06.380 --> 00:40:08.320 a big fish, like getting their photo taken? 1026 00:40:08.360 --> 00:40:09.980 A few of them. They've got a crane in. 1027 00:40:10.659 --> 00:40:12.480 But it's mad, though, because it's such a big moment 1028 00:40:12.579 --> 00:40:15.260 for the couple. But in the maternity ward, it's just 1029 00:40:15.300 --> 00:40:18.630 another one that's popped out, isn't it? Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah. 1030 00:40:18.710 --> 00:40:20.730 It's like Subway where they're making the sandwiches and it's 1031 00:40:20.750 --> 00:40:22.070 just out and they wrap it up and it's gone 1032 00:40:22.090 --> 00:40:22.570 the other end. 1033 00:40:22.590 --> 00:40:24.289 Do you know what I mean? A conveyor belt of 1034 00:40:24.329 --> 00:40:27.289 get them out. But it was still amazing. It's one 1035 00:40:27.309 --> 00:40:32.099 of the maddest... emotional roller coasters. 1036 00:40:32.159 --> 00:40:35.000 And I can't even begin to imagine what it must 1037 00:40:35.039 --> 00:40:38.239 be like for the woman going through every emotion that 1038 00:40:38.260 --> 00:40:41.179 you go through, but then the physical trauma. I mean, 1039 00:40:41.199 --> 00:40:42.960 I don't know how the heads don't explode. 1040 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:43.679 I know, it's unbelievable. 1041 00:40:43.719 --> 00:40:46.750 Lou, it's the first one. Lou didn't have any pain 1042 00:40:47.210 --> 00:40:51.550 relief whatsoever. i mean that's just showing off she's only 1043 00:40:51.590 --> 00:40:54.190 six pound though the baby literally half the size of 1044 00:40:56.170 --> 00:40:57.949 you know i still say no pay relief of a 1045 00:40:57.949 --> 00:41:01.269 six pounder. 1046 00:41:00.010 --> 00:41:03.940 Still that's just incredible man i've said this millions of 1047 00:41:03.980 --> 00:41:06.659 times if men were in charge of having babies wouldn't 1048 00:41:06.760 --> 00:41:08.840 there'd be no one wouldn't be sitting here now the 1049 00:41:08.900 --> 00:41:10.579 first bloke would have went fuck that and

that would 1050 00:41:10.599 --> 00:41:10.940 have been it. 1051 00:41:13.530 --> 00:41:14.519 Chris, thanks so much. 1052 00:41:14.539 --> 00:41:16.539 Yeah, it's been an absolute pleasure. Do you know what? 1053 00:41:16.880 --> 00:41:19.480 I found that a very positive experience, Chris. It seems 1054 00:41:19.559 --> 00:41:21.059 like you're in a very happy house. 1055 00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:22.579 Yeah, genuinely. 1056 00:41:22.619 --> 00:41:23.599 I know what can take the making. 1057 00:41:23.639 --> 00:41:26.679 I can say it's been a nightmare and blah, blah, blah, 1058 00:41:26.760 --> 00:41:29.340 but we're all closer as a family because of this. 1059 00:41:29.360 --> 00:41:32.010 At the end of the day, he's enjoyed seeing his 1060 00:41:32.070 --> 00:41:34.789 mam and obviously me more because I was supposed to 1061 00:41:34.809 --> 00:41:37.989 be on tour the whole time. The entire time of this, 1062 00:41:38.010 --> 00:41:40.130 I was supposed to be on tour. I have enjoyed 1063 00:41:40.170 --> 00:41:43.559 spending more time with Rosie. Don't tell her though because 1064 00:41:43.619 --> 00:41:47.070 she'll hold it against us. We only got our book finished, 1065 00:41:47.110 --> 00:41:48.369 which I don't think we would have done if I 1066 00:41:48.409 --> 00:41:50.429 was on tour. My plan was to tour while writing 1067 00:41:50.449 --> 00:41:51.869 a book with my wife, which would have just been 1068 00:41:51.909 --> 00:41:53.110 a nightmare, but we finished it. 1069 00:41:53.460 --> 00:41:54.719 So you've used your time well. 1070 00:41:54.860 --> 00:41:56.539 I'm not going to lie to you, Chris. This is 1071 00:41:56.599 --> 00:42:00.500 exactly what we weren't looking for. You've ruined my day. 1072 00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:03.800 I'll tell you what, though. You two can't get a divorce, though, 1073 00:42:03.940 --> 00:42:06.699 can you? The podcast will stop. The book will stop. 1074 00:42:06.719 --> 00:42:10.570 Dude, we are locked in. We are locked in. 1075 00:42:10.730 --> 00:42:11.289 That's not true. 1076 00:42:11.329 --> 00:42:13.710 The podcast will double in popularity if they carry it 1077 00:42:13.789 --> 00:42:14.429 on divorced. 1078 00:42:14.489 --> 00:42:15.340 What a list on that one. 1079 00:42:15.389 --> 00:42:18.869 Oh, yeah. Imagine that. They just split off into two. 1080 00:42:19.210 --> 00:42:22.530 Team Rosie, team Chris. I've told her before, can you 1081 00:42:22.699 --> 00:42:24.840 remember when Outcast fell out and they did that double 1082 00:42:24.900 --> 00:42:26.659 album where there was a front on each side? We'll 1083 00:42:26.699 --> 00:42:28.380 just do that. 1084 00:42:28.400 --> 00:42:32.099 You should do a fake splitting up. If rating's dip, Chris, 1085 00:42:33.079 --> 00:42:38.559 that's a great way to go. A fake separation from it. 1086 00:42:38.639 --> 00:42:40.780 We'll have to get Rosie on to check all your 1087 00:42:40.820 --> 00:42:41.699 stories out, Chris. 1088 00:42:41.780 --> 00:42:44.579 Great, yeah, it should be wonderful. Brilliant to meet. 1089 00:42:44.500 --> 00:42:45.639 You, Chris. Thanks so much. 1090 00:42:47.889 --> 00:42:52.050 That was Chris Ramsey. I genuinely think Chris would be 1091 00:42:52.130 --> 00:42:53.530 a lovely dad to have. 1092 00:42:53.889 --> 00:42:56.239 Yeah, he's so energetic and chipper, isn't he? 1093 00:42:56.269 --> 00:42:58.739 Yeah. I can't imagine Chris being down. 1094 00:42:58.760 --> 00:42:59.599 Do you know what I mean? 1095 00:42:59.639 --> 00:42:59.920 Yeah. 1096 00:43:00.300 --> 00:43:05.239 Or angry. Also, I know Chris pretty well. When kids 1097 00:43:05.280 --> 00:43:07.360 do stuff that's a bit naughty, normally it is funny, 1098 00:43:07.599 --> 00:43:10.070 but it's so hard not to laugh when they do something. 1099 00:43:10.389 --> 00:43:13.070 So I think he's a bit like me, where you 1100 00:43:13.110 --> 00:43:14.530 know you should be telling them off, but you can't 1101 00:43:14.550 --> 00:43:17.550 help cracking up. So it's so hard to do any discipline. 1102 00:43:18.239 --> 00:43:23.510 That description of the tooth breaking accident sounds, I suppose 1103 00:43:23.550 --> 00:43:25.889 it's the kind of thing that like, it's your worst 1104 00:43:25.969 --> 00:43:27.449 nightmare as a parent in a way. 1105 00:43:27.530 --> 00:43:28.429 Isn't it? Yeah. 1106 00:43:28.699 --> 00:43:31.239 That moment when you must watch that happen and then 1107 00:43:31.260 --> 00:43:33.420 the trip to hospital with the kid. 1108 00:43:33.739 --> 00:43:34.400 Oh my God. 1109 00:43:34.420 --> 00:43:36.219 It's awful, isn't it? You just sort of, the thought 1110 00:43:36.260 --> 00:43:38.340 of just like the teeth, seeing his poor face with 1111 00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:39.860 the teeth hanging out and blood everywhere. 1112 00:43:39.889 --> 00:43:40.599 You're like, oh no. 1113 00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:43.920 It's lucky it happened with his first teeth. Is that 1114 00:43:43.960 --> 00:43:46.340 how you felt when your daughter lost her teeth? 1115 00:43:46.360 --> 00:43:48.690 Yeah. I mean, yeah, it is what it is. You 1116 00:43:48.710 --> 00:43:51.130 can't get too worked up about it. But luckily it 1117 00:43:51.170 --> 00:43:53.610 was less traumatic for us. So it was more like, oh, yeah, 1118 00:43:53.650 --> 00:43:55.869 they've fallen out. It's a tooth fairy. You know, like 1119 00:43:55.889 --> 00:43:58.670 you would when they're six. So, yeah, she just, you know. 1120 00:43:58.690 --> 00:44:00.929 What was the phrase that your dentist used? 1121 00:44:01.269 --> 00:44:03.730 Oh, they'll firm up or fall out. Thank you very much. 1122 00:44:03.769 --> 00:44:05.840 It sounds like something Alan Sugar would say at the end, 1123 00:44:05.889 --> 00:44:07.179 like in the boardroom. 1124 00:44:07.199 --> 00:44:07.619 Yeah. 1125 00:44:09.050 --> 00:44:12.070 Now, Time Synergy, you lost the task. It's time to 1126 00:44:12.110 --> 00:44:16.579 firm up or fall out. You're fired. It'll be good 1127 00:44:16.599 --> 00:44:18.840 to speak to Rosie as well, because I've got the 1128 00:44:18.860 --> 00:44:21.619 feeling Chris has got absolutely no idea what's happening with 1129 00:44:21.659 --> 00:44:25.139 Robin's nursery. He literally, he admitted it. He panicked. He went, 1130 00:44:25.179 --> 00:44:27.260 I've got no idea. I overheard Rosie say that. So 1131 00:44:27.539 --> 00:44:28.860 it'll be quite interesting to know. 1132 00:44:28.980 --> 00:44:31.800 That shows how laid back Chris is, because I was 1133 00:44:31.840 --> 00:44:36.780 across every news story about nursery opening times, every email 1134 00:44:36.840 --> 00:44:38.949 we got. Like there isn't a bit of information I 1135 00:44:38.989 --> 00:44:41.400 didn't devour in the last two months about nurseries. 1136 00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:46.780 You treated it like transfer rumours. Sources all over the place. 1137 00:44:46.820 --> 00:44:50.280 Sources say, just Googling on like random French websites. 1138 00:44:51.079 --> 00:44:53.389 You know, the countdown clock on Sky, I had one 1139 00:44:53.429 --> 00:44:55.590 of them to the moment it reopened. 1140 00:44:56.010 --> 00:44:59.710 Deadline day. They were just all those people stood outside school. 1141 00:44:59.730 --> 00:45:02.849 We're joined here at the nursery school where we've seen 1142 00:45:02.889 --> 00:45:05.320 a few teachers come and go. It's looking likely that 1143 00:45:05.380 --> 00:45:07.019 may be a decision on Monday morning. 1144 00:45:07.519 --> 00:45:10.420 Leaning out my window of my car, talking about whether 1145 00:45:10.460 --> 00:45:12.199 I'm taking my daughter to nursery. 1146 00:45:13.099 --> 00:45:14.760 We're going to try and get a kid into nursery 1147 00:45:14.780 --> 00:45:16.929 in the last minute. We'll see what happens and we'll 1148 00:45:16.949 --> 00:45:18.210 go from there. Cheers, Harry. 1149 00:45:18.489 --> 00:45:19.769 Do you know the worst thing? We come back to 1150 00:45:19.789 --> 00:45:21.789 football again, so I think we should stop the chat. 1151 00:45:21.909 --> 00:45:22.909 Yeah, let's stop chatting. 1152 00:45:22.949 --> 00:45:25.030 Thank you for listening, everyone. Thank you very much. If 1153 00:45:25.050 --> 00:45:27.199 you want to get in touch, this is how you 1154 00:45:27.239 --> 00:45:27.880 get in touch. 1155 00:45:29.699 --> 00:45:36.760 Email us hello at lockdownparenting.co.uk or we're on Twitter at lockdownparents. 1156 00:45:38.889 --> 00:45:41.440 Thank you for listening. It's been an absolute pleasure. We'll 1157 00:45:41.480 --> 00:45:43.260 be back again in a few days. 1158 00:45:43.400 --> 00:45:43.780 Goodbye. 1159 00:45:43.800 --> 00:45:43.860 Bye. 1160 00:45:44.250 --> 00:45:44.590 Bye.