บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ James Gardner

grew up playing football I'd rather be about 80 00:03:04.340 --> 00:03:07.229 the boys and I just watch old Celtic videos on 81 00:03:07.270 --> 00:03:09.590 YouTube and Tyson Fury fights that's it those are my 82 00:03:09.610 --> 00:03:14.169 special interests so erm So I'm not a big comedy 83 00:03:14.210 --> 00:03:15.939 fan in that regard, but I grew up watching On 84 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:19.060 An Excuse, that was my, Johnny Watson, probably a hero. 85 00:03:19.099 --> 00:03:21.419 Followed me on Instagram recently, and I was like, oh 86 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:21.840 my God. 87 00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:25.689 So, you know, just doing the kind of, or his 88 00:03:25.770 --> 00:03:29.490 daft voices, you know, he would put on the Frankie, 89 00:03:29.509 --> 00:03:31.110 you know, where's the birds and all that, and just, 90 00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:34.759 Just everything. So that kind of, for me, is what 91 00:03:34.919 --> 00:03:35.659 I love doing as well. 92 00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:36.740 Is that what got you into it then? 93 00:03:36.759 --> 00:03:39.659 Because we've had a few comedians on, and I'm always curious, 94 00:03:39.879 --> 00:03:42.539 because I think it's one of the hardest things to do, possibly. 95 00:03:43.240 --> 00:03:44.900 How did you get into it? Was it just through that? 96 00:03:45.180 --> 00:03:46.960 No, I think, do you know what it was? So 97 00:03:46.979 --> 00:03:49.520 my older brother, Alexander, is a really important person in 98 00:03:49.560 --> 00:03:52.969 my life. He's profoundly disabled. He's got quadriplegic cerebral palsy. 99 00:03:52.990 --> 00:03:54.949 He's not a verbal, but he communicates with his eyes, 100 00:03:54.969 --> 00:03:56.330 looks up for yes, looks down for no. And my 101 00:03:56.629 --> 00:04:01.280 sister and I, as well as my parents, we're largely 102 00:04:01.300 --> 00:04:04.900 responsible for his care for the majority of our lives. 103 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:09.009 So making my brother laugh by putting on daft voices 104 00:04:09.050 --> 00:04:11.050 and all that, he would always start laughing and that 105 00:04:11.090 --> 00:04:11.729 was always. 106 00:04:11.509 --> 00:04:12.050 Kind of my buzz. 107 00:04:12.069 --> 00:04:14.930 And then to communicate for him, you're having to interpret 108 00:04:14.949 --> 00:04:17.829 what he's saying, repeat it back to him. So you're 109 00:04:17.889 --> 00:04:20.100 talking all the time. So it's kind of like if 110 00:04:20.129 --> 00:04:22.660 you're not talking, you're kind of actively ignoring him. So 111 00:04:22.680 --> 00:04:23.920 I'm always like, you're all right, you're all right. 112 00:04:23.939 --> 00:04:25.800 Do you need a drink? Do you want anything? 113 00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:30.379 So I think that kind of, performing was always there 114 00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:32.850 and obviously probably not had enough attention as a result 115 00:04:33.889 --> 00:04:36.029 of that. That's kind of what happens in households when 116 00:04:36.050 --> 00:04:39.310 you've got somebody who's got complex needs. So I think 117 00:04:39.370 --> 00:04:43.610 that desire to be fucking loved and to have an 118 00:04:43.689 --> 00:04:46.519 audience and to be funny was always there and then 119 00:04:46.540 --> 00:04:50.259 just I think, you know, somebody when I lived in 120 00:04:50.279 --> 00:04:52.180 London first time round, somebody said to me, I've done 121 00:04:52.199 --> 00:04:54.379 this comedy course, you should do it. So I went 122 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:58.089 and did the stand-up course about 15 years ago and 123 00:04:58.110 --> 00:05:01.050 you graduate from it, well, like a showcase gig, you do, 124 00:05:01.069 --> 00:05:03.329 you've built up like a seven minute set, but I 125 00:05:03.350 --> 00:05:05.569 never followed up, after that I did two gigs, and 126 00:05:05.620 --> 00:05:07.209 I went to the Philippines to play football, and then 127 00:05:07.389 --> 00:05:10.480 I never ever did comedy again for another, like, eight, 128 00:05:10.500 --> 00:05:12.120 nine years, so it wasn't until. 129 00:05:11.939 --> 00:05:13.939 I, You went to the Philippines to play football? Aye, 130 00:05:13.959 --> 00:05:15.379 I went to the Philippines, What was that about? 131 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:20.079 So basically, so, I used to DJ at Baton, for years, 132 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:23.060 and like Bamboo, because you'd spoke before, so you'd get various, trash, 133 00:05:23.870 --> 00:05:24.949 Was it trash? I used to DJ in Trash on 134 00:05:25.009 --> 00:05:28.029 a Tuesday Good night Tuesday night I saw no big 135 00:05:28.050 --> 00:05:30.779 hearts and all that I know a lot of Because 136 00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:33.939 you've done various stuff I've guest listed half the SBL 137 00:05:34.019 --> 00:05:37.959 into nightclubs you know so one of the boys I 138 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:41.279 used to DJ with a guy called Paul Fox he 139 00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:43.990 was out in the Philippines running a betting company and 140 00:05:44.029 --> 00:05:46.009 he phones me up just random I'm living in London 141 00:05:46.029 --> 00:05:48.170 at this point and he's like listen they've got a 142 00:05:48.170 --> 00:05:51.069 national football league out here and They're not very good. 143 00:05:51.930 --> 00:05:53.350 You could maybe get a game. 144 00:05:53.389 --> 00:05:56.930 What was your background with football then? I would say 145 00:05:56.949 --> 00:06:00.550 a decent amateur football player. Just a hard worker. 146 00:06:00.569 --> 00:06:03.550 A very willing cart horse, if you will. Do you 147 00:06:03.569 --> 00:06:04.029 know what I mean? 148 00:06:04.089 --> 00:06:05.769 I would say to Jackie in the car over, like, 149 00:06:06.149 --> 00:06:08.050 fuel sacrifice. I'm just saying I played in the Philippines. 150 00:06:08.110 --> 00:06:11.709 But I played amateur football from when I was like 15, 151 00:06:11.689 --> 00:06:13.800 like the grown men. And that was the best

learning 152 00:06:13.819 --> 00:06:15.939 ground because you were playing with some boys that maybe 153 00:06:15.980 --> 00:06:18.910 played junior, maybe a couple of boys that played lower 154 00:06:18.930 --> 00:06:20.410 leagues at one stage so they would kind of tell 155 00:06:20.430 --> 00:06:22.730 you what to do and split defenders and all that 156 00:06:22.829 --> 00:06:25.410 so I kind of loved the kind of the horrible 157 00:06:25.449 --> 00:06:26.550 side of the game because I wasn't a very good 158 00:06:26.589 --> 00:06:28.110 message you know what I mean so anyway I went 159 00:06:28.129 --> 00:06:30.470 out to the Philippines and kind of sort of blagged 160 00:06:30.550 --> 00:06:32.649 it a bit and Big Rudy was my manager Brian 161 00:06:32.670 --> 00:06:35.410 Reed was my manager for a spell so I made 162 00:06:35.470 --> 00:06:38.329 about four appearances or something over I don't know three 163 00:06:38.350 --> 00:06:40.949 or four months spell but it was it was brilliant 164 00:06:41.009 --> 00:06:44.069 brilliant fun came back to London and I was unemployed 165 00:06:44.810 --> 00:06:47.129 for about six months and then when I was 13 166 00:06:47.129 --> 00:06:49.149 I moved back in my mom and dad took a 167 00:06:49.170 --> 00:06:52.350 job with C.R. Smith, keeping the football theme running, and 168 00:06:52.980 --> 00:06:55.959 I was selling double glazing, commission only double glazing salesman 169 00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:59.160 for the best part of eight years, and then I 170 00:06:59.220 --> 00:07:02.060 ended up just basically having a breakdown, man, I was 171 00:07:02.100 --> 00:07:04.480 working like 80, 90 hours a week at times, commission 172 00:07:04.519 --> 00:07:06.220 only double glazing sales, I was in my mid to 173 00:07:06.259 --> 00:07:09.019 late 30s, I was pretty lonely, didn't know that I 174 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:10.990 was lonely, I was earning good money, but then because 175 00:07:11.029 --> 00:07:13.110 I was so unhappy, I was spending loads of money, 176 00:07:13.149 --> 00:07:15.290 so I lived myself, I bought a one bedroom flat, 177 00:07:15.709 --> 00:07:16.250 I had the C.R. 178 00:07:16.290 --> 00:07:18.269 Smith car, the blue and white C.R. Smith car, I 179 00:07:18.269 --> 00:07:20.449 went and bought myself a Porsche. I loved myself. I 180 00:07:20.449 --> 00:07:22.100 had two cars. I had no time to drive it. 181 00:07:22.129 --> 00:07:22.810 I used to drive it. 182 00:07:23.589 --> 00:07:25.550 I used to take my car out of my wee garage, 183 00:07:25.689 --> 00:07:29.189 drive it round to Summerson when I grew up, and 184 00:07:29.209 --> 00:07:30.860 then back in half day and night, put it back in. 185 00:07:30.870 --> 00:07:32.670 That was me done. £ 600 a month I was paying 186 00:07:32.689 --> 00:07:34.290 for that. Do you know what I mean? So I 187 00:07:34.310 --> 00:07:37.350 was drowning in debt. And then I sold my flat, 188 00:07:37.430 --> 00:07:40.939 paid off my debt, quit

my job, and I was like, 189 00:07:41.160 --> 00:07:44.120 I've been wanting to do comedy for this last eight years. 190 00:07:44.139 --> 00:07:45.660 So it was always on your mind? It was always 191 00:07:45.699 --> 00:07:48.360 on my mind, because you always think, I'll get to it, 192 00:07:48.370 --> 00:07:49.089 I'll do it, I'll do it. 193 00:07:49.209 --> 00:07:51.389 And I was always working evenings, weekends. I didn't even 194 00:07:51.410 --> 00:07:53.990 know where to begin. And that's when I started. I 195 00:07:54.029 --> 00:07:57.300 was 36 and a half and I really started doing comedy. 196 00:07:57.339 --> 00:08:00.199 And like that was the first eight months before COVID. 197 00:08:00.259 --> 00:08:01.500 I was just hammering gigs. 198 00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:03.500 I think I did about 100 gigs near enough in 199 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:06.439 that first eight months. And that was kind of it. 200 00:08:06.459 --> 00:08:08.360 Do you remember your very first one? 201 00:08:08.980 --> 00:08:11.519 I can remember it. Actually, it was Paisley Road West. 202 00:08:12.199 --> 00:08:15.540 at a wee pub, Six Rangers pub. 203 00:08:15.740 --> 00:08:17.800 Aye, aye, Paisley Road West. How did that get done? 204 00:08:18.199 --> 00:08:20.230 It was, do you know what? What was your material? 205 00:08:21.050 --> 00:08:23.589 Everybody's rubbish when they first start, like you're absolutely rubbish, 206 00:08:23.649 --> 00:08:25.629 but you'll get a laugh because most people will go 207 00:08:25.649 --> 00:08:27.730 up and they'll find something that's a bit funny or 208 00:08:27.769 --> 00:08:30.209 a bit shocking and, you know, I kind of just 209 00:08:30.250 --> 00:08:31.680 went up and I was dressed like a drug dealer, 210 00:08:31.720 --> 00:08:34.360 like a Glasgow drug dealer, just on black night tracky 211 00:08:34.399 --> 00:08:36.100 bottoms and all that, so for a while, my first 212 00:08:36.620 --> 00:08:37.960 eight months, that was my hang, I used to go 213 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:39.620 up with a, with the sports. 214 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:41.360 Gear and all that, and the Yeezys and all that, 215 00:08:41.399 --> 00:08:42.600 and I'd be like. 216 00:08:42.769 --> 00:08:44.250 Oh, excuse the drug dealer look and all that, but 217 00:08:44.269 --> 00:08:45.990 if anyone's looking, you know, just daft stuff like that, 218 00:08:46.710 --> 00:08:49.129 but that was my very first gig, Sunday night, I 219 00:08:49.230 --> 00:08:51.710 remember I could do it myself, like dead nervous and 220 00:08:51.730 --> 00:08:53.320 all that, and you got to do 10 minutes, and 221 00:08:53.340 --> 00:08:55.799 then you meet other people, and they tell you there's 222 00:08:55.860 --> 00:08:57.659 a gig here, and there's a gig there, you know, 223 00:08:57.740 --> 00:08:59.799 and then you kind of start figuring out from there. 224 00:09:00.500 --> 00:09:04.210 And your first gig, Sink or Swim, did you get 225 00:09:04.399 --> 00:09:04.950 through it all right? 226 00:09:05.789 --> 00:09:08.620 Obviously I've worked as a TV presenter for years. 227 00:09:09.019 --> 00:09:11.379 I used to do the shopping channels. 228 00:09:12.379 --> 00:09:14.879 I did the Dutch football in Setanta. I presented a 229 00:09:14.899 --> 00:09:17.500 few games. So I thought I was going to be famous. 230 00:09:17.860 --> 00:09:19.840 The back story before all that was I was DJing 231 00:09:19.870 --> 00:09:21.389 from when I was 17 on the tune. 232 00:09:22.389 --> 00:09:23.850 Did all the different nightclubs and bars. 233 00:09:24.169 --> 00:09:25.809 And then even when I got a job at Setanta, 234 00:09:25.850 --> 00:09:28.730 I started off as an assistant producer, doing the match highlights. 235 00:09:28.750 --> 00:09:31.769 That's by John Hartson and a lot of football guys. 236 00:09:32.549 --> 00:09:34.350 But I was also going out at night as well. 237 00:09:34.370 --> 00:09:36.200 So a lot of boys like Scott McDonald would see 238 00:09:36.220 --> 00:09:38.340 him through the week at Motherwell. 239 00:09:38.399 --> 00:09:39.899 Then I'd see him on a Saturday night. Do you 240 00:09:39.919 --> 00:09:40.320 know what I mean? 241 00:09:40.340 --> 00:09:42.980 So people would be like, he's all right, the big man. 242 00:09:43.019 --> 00:09:47.000 My mates all played at Motherwell, like Kenny Connolly and 243 00:09:47.019 --> 00:09:49.720 Mark Reynolds. So they were all there. And it was 244 00:09:49.740 --> 00:09:52.789 just a brilliant time. So I was always knocking about 245 00:09:52.789 --> 00:09:55.120 the town. I wanted to be a presenter. I got 246 00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:58.159 to present a couple of games. Did the Dutch football 247 00:09:58.159 --> 00:09:59.960 and stuff like that. Moved down to London after we 248 00:09:59.980 --> 00:10:02.059 went bust because I thought, I'm going to be famous here. 249 00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:04.789 I'm just remembering as we're speaking, did you stick stuff up? 250 00:10:05.610 --> 00:10:06.870 It was a shopping channel, I remember. 251 00:10:07.029 --> 00:10:11.409 Aye. Do you put stuff on your Instagram with that? Aye. Honestly, 252 00:10:11.429 --> 00:10:12.629 when I tell people what I've done. 253 00:10:12.669 --> 00:10:13.990 So do you think you need to have something in 254 00:10:14.009 --> 00:10:15.789 your makeup then just to kind of shrug it off 255 00:10:15.970 --> 00:10:16.889 as a comedian? 256 00:10:17.169 --> 00:10:17.970 I don't know. I think. 257 00:10:18.519 --> 00:10:20.379 So I think there's two types of people who do 258 00:10:20.590 --> 00:10:25.250 stand-up comedies. There's your extrovert and your classic extrovert. I'm like, me, me, 259 00:10:25.309 --> 00:10:27.169 I'll do it. Even when you're going to a wedding 260 00:10:27.190 --> 00:10:28.889 and somebody's doing the speech, even if you don't know them, 261 00:10:28.909 --> 00:10:30.049 I'm like, listen, if you're struggling with me, I'll go 262 00:10:30.070 --> 00:10:31.070 and do the

speech for you. 263 00:10:31.090 --> 00:10:36.230 Then you've maybe got the opposite. 264 00:10:36.289 --> 00:10:38.809 I think the other comedians are what I would call 265 00:10:38.830 --> 00:10:43.789 extroverted introverts. So a lot of comics cannae have the 266 00:10:43.830 --> 00:10:45.409 cat with you. 267 00:10:44.929 --> 00:10:47.090 Before the gig. They're all like, I don't want to 268 00:10:47.110 --> 00:10:48.909 talk to you. I want to say John Gagan. 269 00:10:49.740 --> 00:10:53.919 Well, a lot of them, I would say 70, 80% 270 00:10:53.919 --> 00:10:55.659 of them, I like that. They need the space that 271 00:10:55.679 --> 00:10:58.399 the stage offers to kind of give them that space 272 00:10:58.419 --> 00:10:59.879 to go and be who they want to be and 273 00:10:59.899 --> 00:11:03.340 they come alive. But I find all that really hard 274 00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:06.279 because my personality is big and bold and brash and just, 275 00:11:06.440 --> 00:11:09.360 you know, amateur football. So you come in, what's happening boys? 276 00:11:09.379 --> 00:11:12.379 And I've been doing gigs with this guy for two months, 277 00:11:12.399 --> 00:11:13.210 he's not saying hello to me. 278 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:15.120 So then in my head, fuck you and all that. 279 00:11:15.139 --> 00:11:16.840 Do you know what I mean? You've got to realise 280 00:11:16.860 --> 00:11:19.809 that not everyone's like that. You know what I mean? 281 00:11:19.870 --> 00:11:21.350 It's so weird, isn't it? 282 00:11:21.490 --> 00:11:25.309 I went to Dubai with Joe and John was doing the, 283 00:11:25.629 --> 00:11:27.289 we'd go over to Dubai every year. 284 00:11:27.490 --> 00:11:29.990 It's like a Scotland, England thing for three or four days. 285 00:11:30.009 --> 00:11:33.000 You walked past me on a flight. Did we? I 286 00:11:33.100 --> 00:11:36.519 did say hello. Recently? No, it was about seven, eight 287 00:11:36.539 --> 00:11:39.559 years ago. I was going back to the Philippines for 288 00:11:39.580 --> 00:11:40.980 a testimonial. Macca was doing the. 289 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:44.340 The after dinner at that one so that was a 290 00:11:44.379 --> 00:11:47.159 few years ago but John's been over at it but 291 00:11:47.200 --> 00:11:48.299 John's I've not been to that. 292 00:11:48.259 --> 00:11:50.559 One he's a nervous have you not been invited for 293 00:11:50.580 --> 00:11:53.620 that one no I've been invited it's hard to just 294 00:11:53.639 --> 00:11:54.820 I don't like flying oh. 295 00:11:54.759 --> 00:11:57.039 Do you not but neither does John so he doesn't 296 00:11:57.080 --> 00:12:00.580 like the flying he's quite a nervous character yeah and 297 00:12:00.600 --> 00:12:03.080 then well everybody's seen John Gagan once he goes out 298 00:12:03.139 --> 00:12:04.340 on stage I. 299 00:12:04.220 --> 00:12:05.460 Don't even know who that is by the way do 300 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:08.500 you not he's an ex-footballer he. 301 00:12:08.500 --> 00:12:11.519 Does the after dinner stuff does he okay but he's. 302 00:12:11.179 --> 00:12:14.549 Very much a you're describing there and then you'll be 303 00:12:14.590 --> 00:12:16.389 sitting with him at the dinner and then he goes 304 00:12:16.450 --> 00:12:17.490 up to do his bit and he's. 305 00:12:18.340 --> 00:12:21.299 Jim Delahunt's like that we walked with Jim Delahunt and 306 00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:24.580 obviously I grew up watching these guys Rob McLean whereas 307 00:12:24.600 --> 00:12:28.299 for example Rob's I think particularly charismatic on and off 308 00:12:28.419 --> 00:12:31.210 camera I think Jim Delahunt's a smashing guy really like 309 00:12:31.230 --> 00:12:33.509 him but he would be quite nervous and then he 310 00:12:33.529 --> 00:12:36.289 would go on and be like a different person because 311 00:12:36.309 --> 00:12:40.690 what you see is really fluent sort of stalwart of 312 00:12:40.750 --> 00:12:43.090 Scottish sports television and you would see him off and 313 00:12:43.129 --> 00:12:44.830 you'd be like, right, OK, just, you know, because obviously. 314 00:12:44.850 --> 00:12:46.870 It's weird, eh? Yeah, it's very, very different. 315 00:12:46.909 --> 00:12:49.070 Martin O'Neill's... I've seen Martin O'Neill before he goes on 316 00:12:49.090 --> 00:12:51.490 to the... I know, it's hard to believe, but the 317 00:12:51.509 --> 00:12:55.690 same in the dressing room. He's quiet, you know, and standoffish, like, shy. 318 00:12:56.190 --> 00:12:57.990 Maybe a few times he's come into the company, but 319 00:12:58.009 --> 00:13:00.809 then as soon as he steps up to, you know, 320 00:13:00.830 --> 00:13:03.250 go on the stage or deliver something in the dressing room, 321 00:13:03.720 --> 00:13:04.460 he comes alive. 322 00:13:04.840 --> 00:13:08.889 It's... It's very similar. John's the one that sticks out 323 00:13:08.909 --> 00:13:11.620 for me. And he's an ex-player. He played with Motherwell 324 00:13:11.860 --> 00:13:12.259 and Morton. 325 00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:14.360 And he talks his cell down, but he's just a 326 00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:16.100 totally different character, ain't he, when he goes up? 327 00:13:17.659 --> 00:13:20.580 I think, again, some people are different. 328 00:13:20.980 --> 00:13:23.759 I could really probably benefit with probably being a bit 329 00:13:23.850 --> 00:13:25.690 quieter even when I'm on stage. Because I feel that 330 00:13:25.730 --> 00:13:28.330 if I pause for breath or I'm quiet or I 331 00:13:28.450 --> 00:13:31.809 break the silence, I'm losing control. So I'll just keep 332 00:13:31.850 --> 00:13:34.710 fucking talking. It'll take me to some funny places. 333 00:13:34.850 --> 00:13:34.970 Yeah. 334 00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:37.720 But also there's a couple of times I'm crying, I 335 00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:39.240 don't want anybody to think this is bad, so if 336 00:13:39.340 --> 00:13:41.759 I'm quiet, like even stopping to think for a second, 337 00:13:41.799 -->

00:13:43.299 I'm like, no, so I just keep talking or I'll 338 00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:44.960 swear or something like that, just as a bridging word. 339 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:47.710 Do you ever get to a bit of a brain freeze? 340 00:13:47.730 --> 00:13:49.570 Have you ever experienced that on stage? 341 00:13:50.009 --> 00:13:53.440 I have experienced it, because no matter how confident you are, 342 00:13:53.470 --> 00:13:55.309 because confidence is an act, so I'm dead confident, but 343 00:13:55.330 --> 00:13:57.490 that's like a real forced learned behaviour, so you just 344 00:13:57.509 --> 00:13:59.809 get into the rhythm of being like, right, okay, because 345 00:13:59.830 --> 00:14:03.220 you kind of know, I'll get through this, but what 346 00:14:03.250 --> 00:14:07.519 happens is, I think it's like a snowball rolling downhill. See, 347 00:14:07.539 --> 00:14:09.440 sometimes you just get caught in a bit of nervousness 348 00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:10.759 or you get in your own head and you see 349 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:13.259 something and you think, well, fucking, they're having a terrible time. 350 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:15.759 It's like you can see everything in a split second. 351 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:19.100 And then maybe you've been flustered and then you can't 352 00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:22.110 even think of something. And then the panic takes over. 353 00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:24.490 And then a few times you've been like, holy shit, 354 00:14:24.750 --> 00:14:26.450 this is, I'm going to actually, I don't know what 355 00:14:26.490 --> 00:14:28.570 the fuck I'm going to say here. Do you know 356 00:14:28.590 --> 00:14:31.289 what I mean? You start doing my jokes about something else. 357 00:14:31.309 --> 00:14:31.870 Do you know what I mean? 358 00:14:32.230 --> 00:14:35.289 So, but it's, you have to almost, rationalise it and 359 00:14:35.320 --> 00:14:36.620 just go, just forget about it, do you know what 360 00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:38.360 I mean? Like the best way to describe it is, 361 00:14:39.059 --> 00:14:42.059 you always get, and again, it comes with experience, I 362 00:14:42.120 --> 00:14:43.320 always focus on the people who. 363 00:14:43.259 --> 00:14:44.919 Are not having fun or who I think are not 364 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:46.559 having fun, do you know what I mean? 365 00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:49.179 Room of 100 people, 99 people laughing, I'm like, why 366 00:14:49.230 --> 00:14:50.769 don't you focus on that guy up the back there 367 00:14:50.789 --> 00:14:51.710 who's just sat like that? 368 00:14:52.870 --> 00:14:53.710 Just focus on. 369 00:14:53.629 --> 00:14:55.769 Him and then you've got the old commentary, he's having 370 00:14:55.809 --> 00:14:57.710 a bad time, your jokes are shite, you should quit, 371 00:14:57.750 --> 00:14:59.590 you should quit, this is terrible, oh he's having a 372 00:14:59.629 --> 00:15:01.870 terrible time, why are you doing this material, stop it. 373 00:15:02.529 --> 00:15:04.870 And then, Like, I remember that happened with this gig 374 00:15:04.889 --> 00:15:06.370 and I did a break half-time and they were like, 375 00:15:06.389 --> 00:15:07.350 how you getting on, you enjoying yourself? 376 00:15:07.429 --> 00:15:10.009 I went, she's fucking brilliant, son. I said, alright, she's 377 00:15:10.190 --> 00:15:11.049 fucking done the laughing. 378 00:15:11.370 --> 00:15:13.519 She said, I had a stroke, mate, I cannae move 379 00:15:13.539 --> 00:15:14.600 the right side of my face. 380 00:15:17.019 --> 00:15:18.440 And that was a big lesson for me. 381 00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:21.200 Because, again, the guy the other day, at the Fringe, 382 00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:24.389 sat right down the front, he looked like Pierluigi Collina, right? 383 00:15:24.429 --> 00:15:26.629 So, piercing eyes and he just sat the whole time. 384 00:15:27.850 --> 00:15:29.029 He didn't laugh once. 385 00:15:29.500 --> 00:15:31.769 And you had to go, he'll probably be enjoying it, 386 00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:34.830 he might not be, but also, he'll probably be enjoying it, 387 00:15:35.340 --> 00:15:37.419 I was packing up my camera, and all that, and 388 00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:40.340 somebody came outside, and went, that guy didn't laugh, he's 389 00:15:40.360 --> 00:15:43.019 waiting outside for a selfie, and he was like, brilliant, 390 00:15:43.059 --> 00:15:45.210 my son lives in Somers, and just found out that's 391 00:15:45.230 --> 00:15:48.350 where he grew up, absolutely brilliant mate, and you just go, amazing, 392 00:15:48.509 --> 00:15:50.549 so it's like, you've got to, you've got to be 393 00:15:50.570 --> 00:15:52.350 aware of it, but also switch your brain off to 394 00:15:52.409 --> 00:15:53.690 it as well, I think, do you know what I mean, so. 395 00:15:54.049 --> 00:15:56.009 Who was the, who did we have on, was it 396 00:15:56.190 --> 00:16:00.120 Connor Burns? Connor Burns. That said about, the Scandinavians. 397 00:15:59.509 --> 00:16:03.250 Or something they just aye they're different aye nobody laughs nobody. 398 00:16:02.990 --> 00:16:05.110 Laughs but they'll say that was a good show or 399 00:16:05.129 --> 00:16:05.909 they'll just. 400 00:16:05.649 --> 00:16:08.710 Be but then at the end rave reviews yeah. 401 00:16:08.470 --> 00:16:11.529 Brilliant I think you've got you've got kids similar ages 402 00:16:11.549 --> 00:16:15.320 haven't you I feel that the young team don't laugh 403 00:16:15.740 --> 00:16:18.059 the same way I feel that if they're 18, 19 404 00:16:18.059 --> 00:16:20.879 they're almost when I say too young for comedy they 405 00:16:20.919 --> 00:16:23.379 are not letting themselves go because to laugh is quite 406 00:16:23.419 --> 00:16:24.870 a vulnerable thing do you know what I mean because 407 00:16:24.889 --> 00:16:26.149 you need to be a bit you need to be 408 00:16:26.169 --> 00:16:29.320 a bit stupid you're letting go of your sensibilities and 409 00:16:29.340 --> 00:16:32.740 you're wetting yourself

with laughter whereas we do a lot 410 00:16:32.759 --> 00:16:34.500 of late night shows at the Fringe and it's all 411 00:16:34.519 --> 00:16:36.759 the kids they're 18, 19, 20 and they're all just 412 00:16:36.779 --> 00:16:39.019 sat there and I think they're so worried about what 413 00:16:39.059 --> 00:16:41.110 other people are thinking of them because you see them 414 00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:43.269 now they're a bit moody too cool to laugh well 415 00:16:43.289 --> 00:16:45.269 they're kind of posturing a lot more I think they've 416 00:16:45.289 --> 00:16:48.710 got so many metrics to measure themselves against that we 417 00:16:48.730 --> 00:16:50.769 didn't have do you know what I mean they've got Instagram, Snapchat, 418 00:16:50.789 --> 00:16:54.840 WhatsApp so they are kind of see them all you 419 00:16:54.860 --> 00:16:58.179 want to go it's alright so I feel it's really 420 00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:01.250 hard to judge if they find you funny or not 421 00:17:01.259 --> 00:17:02.370 do you know what I mean and then they're like 422 00:17:02.379 --> 00:17:04.230 oh you really enjoyed your show you're like what a chance. 423 00:17:04.089 --> 00:17:07.970 Of cracking a smile I know I chuckle that's true 424 00:17:08.049 --> 00:17:10.029 what about hecklers I. 425 00:17:09.970 --> 00:17:13.269 Don't get many hecklers at all but again I think 426 00:17:13.329 --> 00:17:16.049 that's I'm like cos I'm. 427 00:17:15.910 --> 00:17:18.930 Quite big obviously I follow you on Instagram you get 428 00:17:19.009 --> 00:17:20.890 maybe a wee bit more there that's easier to have 429 00:17:20.930 --> 00:17:22.349 a pop on Instagram isn't it just. 430 00:17:22.230 --> 00:17:25.140 The odd I comment that's fine because again I have 431 00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:27.720 to remind myself I slag people on Instagram I don't 432 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:31.730 like on Instagram Gary Neville you know what I mean 433 00:17:31.750 --> 00:17:33.789 no but if I'm criticising somebody else or my auntie's 434 00:17:33.829 --> 00:17:35.349 a rotten pundit somebody else has got the right to 435 00:17:35.369 --> 00:17:37.849 say that to me sometimes I forget that as well 436 00:17:37.869 --> 00:17:39.509 because you know maybe try and do them in but 437 00:17:40.230 --> 00:17:41.609 I don't get a lot of heckles but I think 438 00:17:41.630 --> 00:17:47.380 it's because I'm quite a big personality on stage tall 439 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:50.680 I'm fucking quite assertive so I think a lot of 440 00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:52.859 people go I'm not going to fucking it's like you've 441 00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:53.740 set the tone as a teacher. 442 00:17:53.869 --> 00:17:55.220 I get into comedy, I go like Roy Keane, do 443 00:17:55.309 --> 00:17:56.950 you know what I mean? It's like a derby, like 444 00:17:56.990 --> 00:17:57.509 a derby. 445 00:17:58.490 --> 00:18:00.769 So I kind of feel that that maybe puts people 446 00:18:00.869 --> 00:18:03.450 off doing it. I had a boy today,

he just 447 00:18:03.470 --> 00:18:06.930 kept shouting out there. A couple of times, he just 448 00:18:06.950 --> 00:18:08.250 wanted to be involved a wee bit, do you know 449 00:18:08.269 --> 00:18:10.549 what I mean? I've done a joke and he's interjected 450 00:18:10.569 --> 00:18:11.970 and then I've had to address it and then I 451 00:18:12.029 --> 00:18:13.349 finished the joke and he laughed and I went, can 452 00:18:13.369 --> 00:18:14.730 you imagine how much better that joke would have been 453 00:18:14.750 --> 00:18:17.349 if you hadn't fucking said anything to me? But most 454 00:18:17.430 --> 00:18:19.539 of the time, I don't get it because I think 455 00:18:19.559 --> 00:18:21.140 most of the time people are just drunk and they just, 456 00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:24.200 they think that you can't hear them chatting. So they're 457 00:18:24.220 --> 00:18:26.220 trying to explain the jokes and all that. But it's 458 00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:27.680 a bit like being a teacher. I think if you 459 00:18:28.119 --> 00:18:29.859 go on about it all the time, I think you're 460 00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:32.079 ruining the gig for everybody. And also, I think if 461 00:18:32.099 --> 00:18:34.619 you pull somebody up for it, they also feel like 462 00:18:34.660 --> 00:18:35.720 an idiot and then they're going to. 463 00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.480 Do that defensive thing. I was only saying this, you know, 464 00:18:38.500 --> 00:18:38.980 because when. 465 00:18:38.900 --> 00:18:41.000 Somebody's checking their phone and they get pulled up by 466 00:18:41.019 --> 00:18:43.200 a comedian, they're always texting their sick baby or something 467 00:18:43.220 --> 00:18:43.869 like that, isn't it? 468 00:18:43.910 --> 00:18:46.170 It's always like, my child's at my child's house. So 469 00:18:46.210 --> 00:18:47.109 I think you need to just. 470 00:18:47.009 --> 00:18:48.930 Kind of go, listen, I know you don't realise it, 471 00:18:49.369 --> 00:18:51.089 If you don't mind, then I just give them a 472 00:18:51.130 --> 00:18:53.319 wee round of applause and I just kind of move on. 473 00:18:53.339 --> 00:18:56.599 But nine times out of ten, if it's just like chit-chatting, 474 00:18:56.619 --> 00:18:58.039 I just take my word. I just take my word. 475 00:18:58.359 --> 00:19:00.339 A lot of your comedy around the Scottish football, I 476 00:19:00.339 --> 00:19:03.920 was watching one earlier, I was pissing myself laughing, one 477 00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:07.190 with McInnes with a Harps top on. 478 00:19:07.849 --> 00:19:08.769 He's talking to Shankland. 479 00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:09.650 Oh, with Lauren Shankhill. 480 00:19:10.170 --> 00:19:12.190 I just want everyone to know I've invented that term. 481 00:19:13.309 --> 00:19:15.109 London Derek McInnes and Lauren Shankhill. 482 00:19:15.130 --> 00:19:18.759 Rangers can be... It's just, we are saying things like people. 483 00:19:19.380 --> 00:19:22.619 kind of think, and then using comedy to, I mean, 484 00:19:23.140 --> 00:19:25.839 I was pissing myself laughing at that. Even you're doing it, 485 00:19:25.849 --> 00:19:28.089 you get sticked for doing it like that? 486 00:19:28.109 --> 00:19:32.250 Ah, you always get, it's like anything else, you always 487 00:19:32.289 --> 00:19:34.190 kind of focus on maybe the one bad comment you get, 488 00:19:34.230 --> 00:19:36.799 so you do, you get, I get Celtic fans going 489 00:19:36.819 --> 00:19:40.900 like that, he's shite, I've got three or four accounts 490 00:19:41.259 --> 00:19:46.480 that religiously comment he's shite on every video, to like 491 00:19:46.519 --> 00:19:49.549 a wee burner account, And somebody's like, do you know what? 492 00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:52.299 He does again, he does again. Do you feel as 493 00:19:52.339 --> 00:19:53.640 if it's a defeat if you block them? 494 00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:57.420 Maybe, but also, yeah, because I think then all that 495 00:19:57.440 --> 00:19:59.140 will do is just motivate them to go, ah, we've 496 00:19:59.180 --> 00:20:00.470 got them, so let's keep doing it. 497 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:03.039 And also, I actually kind of feel that most of these. 498 00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:05.000 People that are doing it, they must be really, really 499 00:20:05.059 --> 00:20:08.240 lonely and I'm obviously giving them, I'm at the cigarette 500 00:20:08.259 --> 00:20:10.789 burn you know what I mean is it something that 501 00:20:10.829 --> 00:20:12.930 they can feel I don't know because one of the 502 00:20:12.970 --> 00:20:16.519 guys that heckles me online all the time I remember 503 00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:19.220 like once I'd done a video and he put a 504 00:20:19.220 --> 00:20:21.759 laughing face and something quite nice next to it and 505 00:20:21.779 --> 00:20:23.339 I think he's forgot that he's meant to be heckling 506 00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:25.079 do you know what I mean so you do you 507 00:20:25.099 --> 00:20:26.460 do get him so I get silly fans that slag 508 00:20:26.480 --> 00:20:28.670 me because they'll be thinking this is shite you're slagging 509 00:20:28.690 --> 00:20:31.970 silly I get Rangers fans who he's a bigot and 510 00:20:32.009 --> 00:20:35.029 all that and you get people always saying he's no 511 00:20:35.089 --> 00:20:38.160 funny and they're tagging and sometimes you take that oh, 512 00:20:38.220 --> 00:20:39.700 it's a bit shite and you realise, I know, but 513 00:20:39.720 --> 00:20:42.269 you also think other things are shite. So I kind 514 00:20:42.349 --> 00:20:44.470 of tend to, to say you don't get bothered by 515 00:20:44.509 --> 00:20:46.950 it would be a lie, but I would say 95% 516 00:20:46.950 --> 00:20:49.369 of the time you're like, I get all the benefit 517 00:20:49.410 --> 00:20:50.970 of it, so you're due to take a bit of 518 00:20:50.990 --> 00:20:51.490 stick as well. 519 00:20:51.710 --> 00:20:54.309 Did you feel, see when you were, so you obviously, 520 00:20:54.329 --> 00:20:56.250 was it COVID time did

you say you started really 521 00:20:56.309 --> 00:20:57.049 pushing it? 522 00:20:57.230 --> 00:21:00.109 No, it was, no, the worst thing is I wish 523 00:21:00.150 --> 00:21:02.769 I'd started TikTok during lockdown because I would have had 524 00:21:02.829 --> 00:21:03.950 a million followers, I would think. 525 00:21:03.970 --> 00:21:06.579 That's what I was going to ask you because conscious of. 526 00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:10.400 all your content going onto it, is that an avenue 527 00:21:10.420 --> 00:21:11.880 that you felt you had to get into there to 528 00:21:12.099 --> 00:21:14.079 get yourself more out there? 529 00:21:14.099 --> 00:21:15.480 Do you know what it's a bit like? Is it 530 00:21:15.500 --> 00:21:17.150 just easy? It's a bit like what we were. 531 00:21:17.029 --> 00:21:20.710 Talking about beforehand, about, you know, people overanalyzing things, where 532 00:21:20.730 --> 00:21:22.589 they're going like that, about Kasper Hof slicking the ball 533 00:21:22.609 --> 00:21:23.910 around the side, and he must have worked on that 534 00:21:23.950 --> 00:21:25.910 through the week, and you're like, well, he worked on 535 00:21:25.950 --> 00:21:27.650 passing the ball out wide. No, because a lot of 536 00:21:27.670 --> 00:21:30.630 the time, something just happens, and you go, oh, that works. 537 00:21:30.650 --> 00:21:33.569 So I think during lockdown, I was putting the odd 538 00:21:33.589 --> 00:21:35.970 little thing out on Instagram, but at that point I 539 00:21:35.970 --> 00:21:37.950 was too scared about what my pals would think and 540 00:21:37.970 --> 00:21:40.299 I didn't even know what TikTok was and I was like, oh. 541 00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:42.960 So I didn't start that probably for about another year 542 00:21:42.980 --> 00:21:44.940 until we came out of lockdown. I did my first 543 00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:46.960 couple of gigs after lockdown. That was when I started 544 00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:49.740 putting wee sort of stand-up clips out. And I'm talking about, 545 00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:51.559 you know, like you'd have the phone and you'd be 546 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:54.319 put up against a bottle of water, you know, and 547 00:21:54.339 --> 00:21:56.079 you'd be getting up and filming it and sort of 548 00:21:56.099 --> 00:21:58.680 like that. And so I bought like a little tripod 549 00:21:58.700 --> 00:22:01.140 for eight quid off Amazon. You know, that was, you know, 550 00:22:01.500 --> 00:22:03.920 I was more advanced than a lot of people. back 551 00:22:03.940 --> 00:22:06.700 then doing it and you're embarrassed doing it because you're 552 00:22:06.740 --> 00:22:09.880 doing gigs with people for example like Connor Burns at 553 00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:11.700 that stage who was not going up and filming his 554 00:22:11.779 --> 00:22:13.680 own gigs and he was obviously been doing it for 555 00:22:13.700 --> 00:22:16.769 years longer than you was really well regarded or you'd 556 00:22:16.789 --> 00:22:19.910 be you know Mark Nelson or Ray Bradshaw people that 557 00:22:19.930 --> 00:22:22.970 were pro comedians and you're like I'm just a wee 558 00:22:23.009 --> 00:22:24.910 guy I don't make up film any stuff but I 559 00:22:24.950 --> 00:22:28.109 was very sort of resolute I just kind of I 560 00:22:28.150 --> 00:22:30.609 kind of had some feeling no I think this is 561 00:22:30.650 --> 00:22:33.170 what you do try and build mmhmm a following or 562 00:22:33.210 --> 00:22:35.640 a brand I don't really I didn't think I consciously 563 00:22:35.660 --> 00:22:37.079 sat down and went right this is what to do 564 00:22:37.099 --> 00:22:39.420 it's just it kind of felt like the right thing 565 00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:41.980 to do and then you start getting I think people 566 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:43.900 oh this is great big man like you know I 567 00:22:43.940 --> 00:22:45.599 can't wait to come and see you and I just 568 00:22:45.619 --> 00:22:47.559 kind of then sort of made it my thing and 569 00:22:47.579 --> 00:22:49.299 then all of a sudden I think when I started 570 00:22:49.339 --> 00:22:50.940 the TikTok account that was the big thing because you 571 00:22:50.960 --> 00:22:52.880 were getting big growth on TikTok and that's when I 572 00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:56.779 realised oh people people are kind of consuming this sort 573 00:22:56.839 --> 00:22:59.779 of stuff and then it for me all of a 574 00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:02.779 sudden I started really thinking about the jokes for the clips, 575 00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:04.700 you get a lot of comedians purists, like, no, no, 576 00:23:04.740 --> 00:23:07.500 think about the jokes, think about them both, so I 577 00:23:07.539 --> 00:23:09.099 don't mind putting stuff on, I just think, well, I'll 578 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.079 just write more stuff, so, probably my most famous bit, 579 00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:16.339 a stand-up, I think it's been the, the Roddy the 580 00:23:16.359 --> 00:23:19.269 Prodigy story, you know, the stand-up bit, it's a joke 581 00:23:19.289 --> 00:23:21.210 I've done, it's about certain means in Brazil, it's all 582 00:23:21.230 --> 00:23:24.569 based on a true story, it's 95% true, like most, 583 00:23:24.650 --> 00:23:28.250 you know, comic stories, but that all came, from me 584 00:23:28.289 --> 00:23:32.890 hearing Tam Cowan's, Juventus story, you know the donkey? The 585 00:23:32.910 --> 00:23:34.990 donkey has a guy over for dinner and he's like, ah, 586 00:23:35.009 --> 00:23:36.349 it's a picture of a zebra up on the wall 587 00:23:36.390 --> 00:23:37.630 and he says, what's that? That's when I used to 588 00:23:37.650 --> 00:23:40.769 play for Juventus. And I just thought, I'd like to 589 00:23:40.809 --> 00:23:43.150 come up with something like that. And then. 590 00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:45.700 So what is yours again? Is it in the favelas 591 00:23:45.740 --> 00:23:47.200 in Brazil or something? Aye, that's it. 592 00:23:47.220 --> 00:23:49.900 It's

basically, I'm out in Brazil, it's a true story, 593 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:53.359 but when I'm out in Brazil, a guy, Stephen, you'll 594 00:23:53.380 --> 00:23:54.859 probably know him for a lot of the dinners, I 595 00:23:54.880 --> 00:24:00.220 think he organises, he's on he's an accountant, he's based 596 00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:04.660 out opposite Albion Wolver Stadium and he messaged me when 597 00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:06.099 I was out in Brazil, he's like listen I know 598 00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:07.839 a boy that's got a bar in Rio, go and 599 00:24:07.880 --> 00:24:09.119 see him, we'll get you a drink and all that, 600 00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:09.759 he's a Celtic fan. 601 00:24:10.519 --> 00:24:11.119 I'm like what? 602 00:24:11.319 --> 00:24:13.759 And sends us to this address and he's like you 603 00:24:13.779 --> 00:24:15.460 go to the corner of the street of death in 604 00:24:15.579 --> 00:24:19.299 Ipanema and I'm out there with a boy in Old Scotia, Glasgow, 605 00:24:19.319 --> 00:24:22.640 his missus was Brazilian, she's from Rio and so we 606 00:24:22.660 --> 00:24:25.910 go to this bar and we've asked this guy called Humberto. 607 00:24:25.390 --> 00:24:28.150 And I'm like, Humberto, who's Humberto? I didn't say any problem, 608 00:24:28.170 --> 00:24:28.910 I asked for the king. 609 00:24:29.589 --> 00:24:32.250 And there's this guy, most Brazilian guy you can imagine 610 00:24:32.269 --> 00:24:34.390 in your life, with a full Celtic strip on. 611 00:24:34.549 --> 00:24:37.430 He wears a Celtic strip every day. And he sees 612 00:24:37.509 --> 00:24:40.569 us and he's like, oh, Bishop's Briggs. And I'm like, ah. 613 00:24:40.609 --> 00:24:43.970 Bishop's Briggs. So at that point, he'd only been to 614 00:24:44.009 --> 00:24:45.609 Celtic Park twice and he stays in Bishop Briggs. 615 00:24:45.630 --> 00:24:48.119 He was there, he'd been here all week. I missed 616 00:24:48.130 --> 00:24:49.950 him on Saturday because I was doing a gig at Gracie's, 617 00:24:49.970 --> 00:24:50.420 I couldn't. 618 00:24:50.259 --> 00:24:53.339 Get round to Boteco. but he'd come over, but I 619 00:24:53.380 --> 00:24:54.279 was just like, Stephen. 620 00:24:55.349 --> 00:24:57.589 Not only how did you meet this guy, the guy's obviously, 621 00:24:57.609 --> 00:25:00.730 for some reason, a Celtic fan, made the pilgrimage from 622 00:25:01.109 --> 00:25:04.150 Rio to Celtic Park, and has ended up in with 623 00:25:04.170 --> 00:25:06.829 a group of guys, Philip Bishop Briggs, speaks no English, 624 00:25:06.849 --> 00:25:08.390 and they're like, come on, son, you'll be all right, 625 00:25:08.410 --> 00:25:12.069 and they've just obviously took him under their wing, and basically, 626 00:25:12.130 --> 00:25:14.130 I kind of build up a story, he takes us 627 00:25:14.190 --> 00:25:16.630 on a favela tour the following day, which is all true, 628 00:25:17.470 --> 00:25:19.309 and we get to the favela tour, and I just, 629 00:25:19.900 --> 00:25:22.349 In my head, I just like, that would be quite, 630 00:25:22.380 --> 00:25:24.950 I don't know how it came about, but I just 631 00:25:25.009 --> 00:25:28.250 think the Brazilian names, and just Rodrigo, and I just went, Rodrigo, Roddy, 632 00:25:28.410 --> 00:25:30.289 Roddy the Prody, and then that's when I built up 633 00:25:30.849 --> 00:25:34.349 the story about how his brother-in-law, he's called, you know, 634 00:25:34.450 --> 00:25:36.660 he's a ranger's man, he's called Roddy the Prody, and 635 00:25:36.700 --> 00:25:41.279 it was probably the first big bit of viral stand-up 636 00:25:41.339 --> 00:25:45.160 comedy that I'd done, and that kind of, people came 637 00:25:45.180 --> 00:25:46.599 to see me doing a work in progress, my first 638 00:25:46.619 --> 00:25:49.460 work in progress was at Tennant's, four year ago I 639 00:25:49.480 --> 00:25:51.380 had ten people come but it was because they'd seen 640 00:25:51.400 --> 00:25:52.609 that joke or something like that you know what I 641 00:25:52.630 --> 00:25:54.990 mean so it kind of encouraged you to well that 642 00:25:55.029 --> 00:25:56.970 was when I'd realized I think that had been shared 643 00:25:57.029 --> 00:25:59.230 a thousand times my uncle who's a big blue nose 644 00:25:59.369 --> 00:26:02.349 sent me a video he was on a flight from 645 00:26:02.849 --> 00:26:05.309 Luton to Alicante and he's got a video filming you 646 00:26:05.329 --> 00:26:07.789 know the seat in front of you somebody's watching it 647 00:26:07.809 --> 00:26:10.430 do you know what I mean so when that kind 648 00:26:10.470 --> 00:26:13.539 of happened you're going alright this is the kind of 649 00:26:13.660 --> 00:26:15.940 this is the power of doing this whereas the more 650 00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:18.970 traditional people way I suppose is getting in, doing the 651 00:26:18.990 --> 00:26:21.630 comedy clubs, getting people to go to the comedy clubs 652 00:26:21.650 --> 00:26:24.130 to come and see you, bit like a band basically, 653 00:26:24.150 --> 00:26:24.869 doing the circuit. 654 00:26:24.990 --> 00:26:26.309 Or a band going viral. 655 00:26:26.529 --> 00:26:28.549 But you see that now, just to touch on the 656 00:26:28.589 --> 00:26:30.549 bands as well, you see that nowadays with bands, and 657 00:26:31.289 --> 00:26:34.309 speaking to a couple of bands personally as well, and 658 00:26:34.329 --> 00:26:36.490 they don't really like doing that sort of stuff, but 659 00:26:36.670 --> 00:26:38.109 they feel as if they maybe have to do it 660 00:26:38.150 --> 00:26:40.369 now just to get themselves out there, it's probably similar. 661 00:26:40.650 --> 00:26:42.490 I think it is, so one of the boys, again, 662 00:26:42.619 --> 00:26:45.000 everything all comes back to playing football, so I play 663 00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:48.420 football on a Friday in London, I mean, red flags 664 00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:50.839 should have gone up there where I play football in 665 00:26:50.940 --> 00:26:53.109

London and it's 11 o'clock to 1 o'clock on a 666 00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:54.940 Friday and I should have thought to myself, who's playing 667 00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:56.710 football at 11 o'clock. 668 00:26:56.490 --> 00:26:57.490 On a Friday morning, right? 669 00:26:58.289 --> 00:27:00.390 And I did it in this group chat and when 670 00:27:00.430 --> 00:27:02.009 I play football in Glasgow, it'll be like the Kings 671 00:27:02.049 --> 00:27:04.730 Park Rangers amateur team of the Shawlins or the Young 672 00:27:04.750 --> 00:27:07.630 Boys of Partick over 40s. And I'm not saying I'm famous, 673 00:27:07.670 --> 00:27:09.049 but when I'm in these group chats, I'll be the 674 00:27:09.069 --> 00:27:10.990 most famous person in this group chat, so I'm I'm 675 00:27:11.009 --> 00:27:12.150 dropping crumbs from my table. 676 00:27:12.549 --> 00:27:14.049 Just why do you have some of these TikToks on me? 677 00:27:14.170 --> 00:27:16.890 I'm grateful that Daddy's giving me this performance behind the scenes. 678 00:27:16.910 --> 00:27:17.630 Just love it, love it. 679 00:27:18.339 --> 00:27:20.779 And then I get added into this group chat and 680 00:27:21.579 --> 00:27:23.559 I'm just going to fucking do the exact same thing here. 681 00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:26.180 I don't know anyone, but my method of making friends 682 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:27.180 is a bit like Roy. 683 00:27:27.019 --> 00:27:27.900 Keane in a derby. 684 00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:30.839 Just fucking go in there bold and brash early and 685 00:27:30.859 --> 00:27:32.519 you can repair the damage over the next year, but 686 00:27:32.539 --> 00:27:33.480 they'll know who you are at least. 687 00:27:33.500 --> 00:27:35.700 So I get into this group chat and I'm fucking 688 00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:36.710 here taking crumbs from the table. 689 00:27:36.730 --> 00:27:39.210 I'm throwing in TikToks on myself and fucking Derek McKinnon's 690 00:27:39.230 --> 00:27:42.119 impersonation and all that. And then I realised later, this 691 00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:45.319 is an actor's group chat that's been running for 10 years. 692 00:27:45.339 --> 00:27:47.369 They've been playing football and in that group chat it's 693 00:27:47.410 --> 00:27:50.789 been like Jack O'Connell, Barry Keegan, Jordan Stephens with the 694 00:27:50.809 --> 00:27:54.529 Rizzle Kicks, Colin Bikini from Top Boy, Shopa Jerusalem. 695 00:27:54.250 --> 00:27:54.930 From Gangs of London. 696 00:27:54.970 --> 00:27:56.630 And I'm like, oh, there's all the swell winners in 697 00:27:56.690 --> 00:27:58.730 there and they don't know who Derek McInnes is. 698 00:27:58.750 --> 00:28:02.049 Do you know what I mean? Are you still playing 699 00:28:02.069 --> 00:28:03.910 with these guys? Still playing with these guys. A lot 700 00:28:03.990 --> 00:28:04.880 of great boys in there. 701 00:28:05.380 --> 00:28:08.079 And then that team has populated a Sunday team, so 702 00:28:08.099 --> 00:28:10.650 a Sunday league team. And then, One of the boys, 703 00:28:10.670 --> 00:28:12.710 I went and played this against Sunday League team a 704 00:28:12.730 --> 00:28:15.329 couple of times and they've added me into the group chat. 705 00:28:15.769 --> 00:28:17.710 The guy who's kind of taken the running of the team, 706 00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:20.319 just plays the team, seen him come up on Instagram, 707 00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:24.019 Joe Manager has followed you. I went, oh, that guy, 708 00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:26.160 Joe Manager, it must be his big hang, managing the 709 00:28:26.700 --> 00:28:31.180 amateur team. Look at his profile, fucking 120,000 followers on Instagram. 710 00:28:31.460 --> 00:28:35.400 Managers like Busted, The Vamps, Henry Moody, all these young. 711 00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:37.359 Talented acts. You thought he was just the manager of 712 00:28:37.380 --> 00:28:40.369 the team? The manager of the team. And that's kind 713 00:28:40.410 --> 00:28:43.910 of his roster of acts. I think it's that thing. 714 00:28:43.950 --> 00:28:47.269 They're so, some of the nicest people I've ever met, 715 00:28:47.410 --> 00:28:51.759 but they're all huge on, like, Instagram. So people that, like, 716 00:28:51.819 --> 00:28:57.660 who's Henry Moody and who's Rhys Bibby? So they're just 717 00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:00.700 super talented. I call them kids, but, like, they're super talented. 718 00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:02.400 They're all in their early 20s, but they've all got 719 00:29:02.769 --> 00:29:05.990 a million followers each on Instagram and TikTok, whereas I think, 720 00:29:06.049 --> 00:29:08.579 you know, like, he used to tell me when they 721 00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:11.559 go to Brazil we're busted or whatever he went we'll 722 00:29:11.579 --> 00:29:15.039 play a thousand seater because that's the legacy of them 723 00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:18.420 being on TV whereas he went if we take Henry 724 00:29:18.460 --> 00:29:20.660 Moody to Brazil he said we could play twice the 725 00:29:20.680 --> 00:29:23.450 venue or something like that because they've all done their 726 00:29:23.490 --> 00:29:25.849 thing online it's just I know I think the older 727 00:29:25.950 --> 00:29:27.410 ones don't want to do it as much because they're 728 00:29:27.430 --> 00:29:30.569 like I'm here to play music I'm not here to 729 00:29:30.609 --> 00:29:33.450 be social media but I think the younger generation now 730 00:29:33.470 --> 00:29:36.299 of bands are coming up through that's how they're getting 731 00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:38.980 themselves out there I don't know how fair it is 732 00:29:39.099 --> 00:29:42.000 because it's you know there's a bit of injustice said 733 00:29:42.019 --> 00:29:43.519 to that too but I think that's just the world 734 00:29:43.539 --> 00:29:44.420 that we're in now isn't it yeah. 735 00:29:44.740 --> 00:29:48.589 Aye definitely definitely you went to London as well was 736 00:29:48.609 --> 00:29:52.829 that a conscious decision with your the comedy and everything

737 00:29:52.849 --> 00:29:55.750 aye well no really because so when I first moved 738 00:29:55.769 --> 00:29:58.259 to London I was 27 and I just I kind 739 00:29:58.299 --> 00:29:59.160 of felt like I was just. 740 00:29:59.059 --> 00:30:02.380 Getting swallowed whole by Glasgow. I'd been here my whole life. 741 00:30:02.460 --> 00:30:05.109 I'd never gone away for university. 742 00:30:04.789 --> 00:30:05.509 Or anything like that. 743 00:30:05.589 --> 00:30:08.589 Just, you know, the dynamics of my family, like we 744 00:30:08.630 --> 00:30:11.190 were reliant on me and my sister, you know, with 745 00:30:11.309 --> 00:30:13.190 my brother's care and just our kind of set up. 746 00:30:13.210 --> 00:30:15.490 So it was never something I thought about. I was 747 00:30:15.529 --> 00:30:17.049 leaving and it just got to that stage. I was like, 748 00:30:17.069 --> 00:30:19.190 I kind of just really need to get out of here. 749 00:30:19.710 --> 00:30:21.180 So when I was in London, I did the shopping 750 00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:22.960 channels and all that and the old fated spell in 751 00:30:22.980 --> 00:30:23.500 the Philippines. 752 00:30:23.700 --> 00:30:25.299 And when I came back, I couldn't get a job. 753 00:30:26.369 --> 00:30:28.210 And I always wanted to come back to London, because 754 00:30:28.230 --> 00:30:30.269 I didn't really want to leave London, I just couldn't 755 00:30:30.289 --> 00:30:32.809 afford to live there without a job, so my partner, 756 00:30:32.829 --> 00:30:37.089 she's from the South England, and just came up in conversation, 757 00:30:37.150 --> 00:30:38.960 she's never lived in London, her sister lives there, a 758 00:30:38.980 --> 00:30:40.559 couple of her best pals live there, and I'd always 759 00:30:40.599 --> 00:30:43.259 wanted to go back, just kind of came up in conversation, 760 00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:45.359 you know, we were sort of fortunate, we were in 761 00:30:45.400 --> 00:30:47.420 the position that we could go down and sort of 762 00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:49.920 try out and rent a place, and I actually don't 763 00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:52.450 really do comedy down there, I do Top Secret down there, 764 00:30:52.470 --> 00:30:54.009 which is a brilliant club, but I only do that 765 00:30:54.029 --> 00:30:56.130 maybe a couple of times a month, but can you 766 00:30:56.150 --> 00:30:58.450 make money, really? I don't feel on the London circuit, 767 00:30:58.519 --> 00:31:00.220 or on a lot of comedy circuits, because the comedy 768 00:31:00.259 --> 00:31:01.220 clubs pay so little. 769 00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:03.839 You know what I mean? It's quite an outdated model. 770 00:31:03.880 --> 00:31:06.279 They're paying the same fees for headliners on a Saturday 771 00:31:06.299 --> 00:31:08.400 night that they were paying, I think the standard paying 772 00:31:08.420 --> 00:31:11.599 the same fee that they were paying 15 years ago. So, 773 00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:13.720 you're not making money that way, and

I came into 774 00:31:13.740 --> 00:31:15.680 this a lot later, so at 40 years old, I 775 00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:19.019 can't really afford to be around comedy clubs all over 776 00:31:19.079 --> 00:31:21.849 London and doing three and four gigs a night to 777 00:31:21.869 --> 00:31:25.079 come away with two, three hundred quid, it's no worthwhile, 778 00:31:25.099 --> 00:31:28.319 whereas if you go up to Blackfriars, you know, and 779 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:32.119 Chris at Blackfriars, a brilliant guy, he's calling me, you 780 00:31:32.180 --> 00:31:34.900 do the gig in there, his deal is the artist gets. 781 00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:38.220 100% of the door money, and they'll give you a tech, 782 00:31:38.779 --> 00:31:42.539 and a show runner, and they'll look after you, and 783 00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:43.640 you can go up and do that, and you can 784 00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:46.150 come back down, if you do one show, you know, 785 00:31:46.170 --> 00:31:48.509 you can make 1500 quid or something like that, and 786 00:31:48.529 --> 00:31:50.630 you've been on stage for an hour and a half, and, 787 00:31:51.400 --> 00:31:53.559 you know, people come and see, so that's been the way, 788 00:31:53.579 --> 00:31:56.000 the kind of, the model, and I think there's, I 789 00:31:56.019 --> 00:31:57.319 think there's a lot of guys that are doing, like 790 00:31:57.339 --> 00:31:59.720 Stuart Mitchell's doing that, Gary Foles is doing that, Gary 791 00:31:59.740 --> 00:32:00.569 Meekle's doing. 792 00:32:00.369 --> 00:32:04.450 That, you know, Connor, I mean, he's going stratospheric, but 793 00:32:04.549 --> 00:32:07.190 I think that's becoming, there's a change now, same, I 794 00:32:07.210 --> 00:32:08.390 was in it, I was in it at Grace's on 795 00:32:08.410 --> 00:32:11.529 Saturday night, the boy joining there really looked after me, 796 00:32:11.569 --> 00:32:15.130 they were really keen for me to come down, it's not, 797 00:32:15.230 --> 00:32:17.279 it's not a comedy club, so, you know, everyone wants 798 00:32:17.299 --> 00:32:20.380 the perfect, You want low ceilings and the seats facing 799 00:32:20.420 --> 00:32:21.920 the same way and get the lights down. 800 00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:24.599 Low and you're doing it in that big room. It's incredible. 801 00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:27.720 But it was kind of like doing comedy in a 802 00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:30.240 beer tent almost. It was just that kind of atmosphere. 803 00:32:30.509 --> 00:32:33.130 But it was brilliant. It was really, really good. And 804 00:32:33.150 --> 00:32:35.349 they really looked after you. They paid me really well. 805 00:32:37.170 --> 00:32:39.210 As you would expect if I'd run the gig myself 806 00:32:39.250 --> 00:32:41.609 and done the door money. Whereas on a Saturday night, 807 00:32:41.930 --> 00:32:44.289 a comedy club, you might get, I don't know, 250 808 00:32:44.289 --> 00:32:46.109 quid if you're the headliner. If you're doing the middle spot, 809 00:32:46.150 --> 00:32:49.150 you'd maybe get 150 quid, you do that for the weekend, 810 00:32:49.170 --> 00:32:53.190 you're making 300 a pound, you're not paying the mortgage. 811 00:32:53.269 --> 00:32:55.009 It is, when you describe it like that, it's quite 812 00:32:55.029 --> 00:33:00.049 a tough profession to be in. Going back to your 813 00:33:00.089 --> 00:33:02.269 social media then, do you feel it's really important to 814 00:33:02.289 --> 00:33:04.869 get all your content out there? And the good thing is, 815 00:33:05.430 --> 00:33:07.809 you've said before, you lean on the football. So you've 816 00:33:07.829 --> 00:33:09.990 got plenty of stuff to get into. 817 00:33:10.039 --> 00:33:11.250 It's all relevant. I've seen stuff. 818 00:33:13.539 --> 00:33:15.740 That's happened the day before, or even on the same day, 819 00:33:15.769 --> 00:33:17.589 and you've got something out that night relevant to it? 820 00:33:17.630 --> 00:33:20.250 So that's something that I've just, I suppose, I don't 821 00:33:20.269 --> 00:33:22.170 know if it's like you boys in the off-season, you're like, 822 00:33:22.269 --> 00:33:23.730 I'm going to step it up next season, do you 823 00:33:23.750 --> 00:33:25.710 know what I mean? That's it, and we're pounding the 824 00:33:25.750 --> 00:33:29.019 pavements for the pre-season. I realised that, I suppose, the 825 00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:32.079 power of that with the World Cup, and just the 826 00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:35.220 little extra, the little bit of the extra theatre, so 827 00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.140 you know, like, people are like, you must have a bag, 828 00:33:37.180 --> 00:33:39.160 I've got a big kit bag full of strips, I've 829 00:33:39.180 --> 00:33:42.950 been buying stuff off Vinted, and, everything at the World 830 00:33:42.970 --> 00:33:45.450 Cup I keep no but I keep getting I kept 831 00:33:45.490 --> 00:33:47.200 trying to buy Ranger stuff off Vinted and it kept 832 00:33:47.220 --> 00:33:49.839 getting cancelled so I think what was happening they were 833 00:33:49.859 --> 00:33:51.480 like because I wasn't even bidding I was just paying 834 00:33:51.500 --> 00:33:53.640 the money that they wanted 20 quid bang right great 835 00:33:53.660 --> 00:33:55.019 and they've got like four days to send it to 836 00:33:55.039 --> 00:33:57.440 you and obviously once they put their details in I 837 00:33:57.500 --> 00:34:01.029 reckon they're going Ian Gardner London don't sell that to 838 00:34:01.049 --> 00:34:02.750 him so I had to buy it for like the 839 00:34:02.789 --> 00:34:05.890 club shop and stuff like that so I feel like 840 00:34:05.910 --> 00:34:08.349 you know about Casper they want the wig and they 841 00:34:08.369 --> 00:34:10.369 want a little bit you know just a little bit 842 00:34:10.429 --> 00:34:12.780 more but if you can My view is if you 843 00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:15.469 can get it out that night, it doesn't need to 844 00:34:15.510 --> 00:34:18.760 be that brilliant. Obviously, I want

everything to be really good, 845 00:34:19.489 --> 00:34:21.019 but I think people want to be. 846 00:34:20.949 --> 00:34:22.889 Part of something. They want to share things. They want 847 00:34:22.909 --> 00:34:24.349 to be the first. 848 00:34:24.550 --> 00:34:28.590 They want something that, I suppose, represents how you're feeling 849 00:34:28.630 --> 00:34:30.690 about things or something you can share or be a 850 00:34:30.730 --> 00:34:33.789 part of. So getting it out that night now is 851 00:34:33.809 --> 00:34:36.289 really important. So, man, my sister's like that. You come 852 00:34:36.309 --> 00:34:37.730 into bed and I'm like that. I need to do 853 00:34:37.750 --> 00:34:41.960 a Derek McKinnis video. And then she's like... she's like 854 00:34:42.039 --> 00:34:43.780 brushing her teeth and then I'm just, I'm coming in 855 00:34:43.800 --> 00:34:45.679 to put, I'm coming in to put bronzer on and 856 00:34:45.719 --> 00:34:47.630 I've got the suit on and I'm wearing shorts and 857 00:34:47.670 --> 00:34:49.469 flip flops and she's like, what are you doing? 858 00:34:49.489 --> 00:34:50.829 Do you know what I mean? 859 00:34:50.929 --> 00:34:54.369 So, it's, but I love doing that stuff and I 860 00:34:54.389 --> 00:34:56.630 love talking about football during the stand up because I 861 00:34:56.670 --> 00:34:58.980 think that that's, I think that's a real gap in 862 00:34:59.000 --> 00:35:01.219 the market because it's like, well, most people want to 863 00:35:01.260 --> 00:35:04.420 talk about their team and it's funny, in stand up 864 00:35:04.559 --> 00:35:07.980 and like, I feel that, again, 60 people here today 865 00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:11.639 and doing our different bits and, politics and this and 866 00:35:11.679 --> 00:35:13.219 growing up and all this and then I was like, right, 867 00:35:13.239 --> 00:35:13.679 you want to hear. 868 00:35:13.619 --> 00:35:15.519 Some football stuff? Do you know what I mean? And 869 00:35:15.539 --> 00:35:15.960 that's it. 870 00:35:15.980 --> 00:35:19.559 And talking to a lovely couple from Lytham and we 871 00:35:19.579 --> 00:35:21.039 were chatting about it because I went, I said, I 872 00:35:21.059 --> 00:35:22.639 don't really know where Lytham is but does the golf 873 00:35:22.659 --> 00:35:23.179 get played there? 874 00:35:23.199 --> 00:35:25.099 Is it Lytham? He went, aye, that's right, you know. 875 00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:29.090 And then chatting to them outside and they were, I said, listen, 876 00:35:29.659 --> 00:35:30.769 why made you come and see me? 877 00:35:30.829 --> 00:35:32.010 Because they've travelled. 878 00:35:31.730 --> 00:35:34.389 Up for the fringe and they went, oh, I don't, 879 00:35:34.789 --> 00:35:36.849 come across a couple of your football reels and he 880 00:35:36.869 --> 00:35:37.769 just said, there's loads of. 881 00:35:37.739 --> 00:35:40.260 Scottish people on, there are loads of Rangers fans. 882 00:35:40.280 --> 00:35:43.820 But he said, so I liked

that one you did 883 00:35:43.900 --> 00:35:45.639 and all that and they know a boy, who used 884 00:35:45.659 --> 00:35:46.199 to be known. 885 00:35:46.099 --> 00:35:48.800 As the King, is it the King, who's it, Derek 886 00:35:48.820 --> 00:35:50.119 McPartland or something like that? A player? 887 00:35:50.679 --> 00:35:50.780 Aye. 888 00:35:50.840 --> 00:35:53.659 Aye, by the way, it is McPartland. McPartland, that's their mate. 889 00:35:53.679 --> 00:35:55.619 Brian O'Neill stays in that neck of the woods as 890 00:35:55.639 --> 00:35:56.500 well and I think he knows him. 891 00:35:56.820 --> 00:35:59.409 Aye, okay, so that's, they went, well, we're friends with him, 892 00:35:59.630 --> 00:36:01.039 actually used to play with him. So they, So they 893 00:36:01.059 --> 00:36:01.800 kind of know a bit. 894 00:36:01.960 --> 00:36:05.059 So your rules are getting you travelling that. That's it. 895 00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:08.449 It was actually, somebody kind of said, because I remember 896 00:36:08.469 --> 00:36:11.710 at one point thinking, because football stuff has kind of 897 00:36:12.070 --> 00:36:14.929 looked down their nose a wee bit by comedy clubs 898 00:36:15.050 --> 00:36:18.909 and I think comedy's becoming quite middle class now. Because 899 00:36:19.010 --> 00:36:21.670 if you're saying, you're more than going to be a comedian, 900 00:36:21.690 --> 00:36:24.530 but what? I mean, I know Kevin Bridges, very well 901 00:36:24.550 --> 00:36:28.119 in class, he is the GOAT and he's brilliant. 902 00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:31.139 But, he says his dad went like I'll take you 903 00:36:31.159 --> 00:36:31.579 to the clubs you. 904 00:36:31.539 --> 00:36:32.800 Know he was too young to get in he went 905 00:36:32.840 --> 00:36:34.960 I'll take you which is brilliant but if I had 906 00:36:34.980 --> 00:36:36.340 said to my dad at 16 I'm going to do 907 00:36:36.360 --> 00:36:38.019 comedy I'd be fucking very good do you know what 908 00:36:38.119 --> 00:36:40.980 I mean so I think increasingly it's becoming a middle 909 00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:45.210 class sport because you know you don't need to pay 910 00:36:45.230 --> 00:36:47.809 the bills or you know pay the rent. 911 00:36:47.590 --> 00:36:51.849 Plus it's so different from even 10 years ago with 912 00:36:52.349 --> 00:36:52.750 what you. 913 00:36:52.670 --> 00:36:56.489 Can and can't say it's out of offending anybody. 914 00:36:56.650 --> 00:36:58.670 I well I think more than anything it's just the 915 00:36:59.500 --> 00:37:01.300 it's kind of like there's a down payment you need 916 00:37:01.340 --> 00:37:03.389 to make for doing comedy. You need to be able 917 00:37:03.409 --> 00:37:05.630 to do it for five or six years to become 918 00:37:05.690 --> 00:37:08.250 really good at it. And if you can't pay for 919 00:37:08.269 --> 00:37:09.570 it in that time, there's a lot of people who 920 00:37:09.590 --> 00:37:11.710 just never get a chance to get on stage. So 921 00:37:11.730 --> 00:37:13.849 the football stuff I think has been really important for 922 00:37:13.889 --> 00:37:16.309 me because people are coming to see you off of that. 923 00:37:17.210 --> 00:37:19.730 The sketches, the football sketches, people are coming to see 924 00:37:19.750 --> 00:37:22.710 you off that. And I've kind of realised, well, actually, 925 00:37:22.730 --> 00:37:24.949 I should just really sort of lean into that even more. 926 00:37:24.969 --> 00:37:28.159 So I brought didn't he bring the suit and all 927 00:37:28.179 --> 00:37:29.039 that up for the derring? 928 00:37:29.059 --> 00:37:31.030 So I'm going like, I hope he doesn't get through 929 00:37:31.070 --> 00:37:31.829 so I don't need to do a sketch. 930 00:37:31.849 --> 00:37:34.010 Have you got the brown brogues or not? 931 00:37:34.070 --> 00:37:35.329 I've got all that from when I worked at C.R. 932 00:37:35.329 --> 00:37:37.070 Smith, I've got the brogues, I've got the brogues, I've 933 00:37:37.090 --> 00:37:39.119 got everything, but I've got everything. 934 00:37:39.139 --> 00:37:40.780 There's a wee bit of grey in the beard and 935 00:37:40.840 --> 00:37:41.079 all though. 936 00:37:41.219 --> 00:37:42.019 Well, do you know what I think? 937 00:37:42.199 --> 00:37:44.239 I've got, grey stuff I put on but you know 938 00:37:44.260 --> 00:37:46.179 when you use the kind of TikTok green screen app 939 00:37:46.409 --> 00:37:48.150 it was washing my face off it was making my 940 00:37:48.170 --> 00:37:49.650 face go chalk white and I was like oh god 941 00:37:49.670 --> 00:37:51.789 this doesn't work you need to tan up and off 942 00:37:52.010 --> 00:37:54.070 I bought bronzer I don't know if I brought it 943 00:37:54.090 --> 00:37:56.309 with me so my missy's like why are you buying 944 00:37:56.329 --> 00:37:57.469 bronzer and I'm like I need to put it on 945 00:37:57.489 --> 00:37:59.829 for Derek McKinnon so I brought up like the Rangers 946 00:37:59.849 --> 00:38:02.110 training top and I brought up the Celtic training top 947 00:38:02.190 --> 00:38:03.989 and the big the Casper whole wig because I'm like 948 00:38:04.010 --> 00:38:06.139 maybe I'll do something and I can do a sketch 949 00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:09.260 but even all those sorts of things are going fucking 950 00:38:09.300 --> 00:38:12.940 like when I went to Thailand at the January there, 951 00:38:13.199 --> 00:38:15.900 that was when Wilfred Doncey got the boot and she's like, 952 00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:17.539 we're going out for dinner and I'm like, wait, wait, 953 00:38:17.559 --> 00:38:20.139 and I've got the Celtic green on top and trying 954 00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:21.309 to do a Martin O'Neill skit. 955 00:38:21.139 --> 00:38:22.449 And all that, do you know what I mean? 956 00:38:22.570 --> 00:38:24.530 She's like, please man, I'm holding a wee light up 957 00:38:24.570 --> 00:38:27.349 for myself and all that, filming it with one arm. 958 00:38:27.929 --> 00:38:29.420 You couldn't have done Wilfred

though, could you? 959 00:38:30.789 --> 00:38:32.690 I don't get allowed to black up these days, fucking, 960 00:38:32.829 --> 00:38:37.489 woke nonsense, woke nonsense that, innit? But even, again, you've 961 00:38:37.510 --> 00:38:39.570 got to think about your choices, even, you know, like, 962 00:38:39.630 --> 00:38:43.409 for example, somebody was like, so either you're doing the 963 00:38:43.449 --> 00:38:45.519 French accent, and I was like, well, I don't think, 964 00:38:45.559 --> 00:38:47.280 I think you've got to just be conscious. 965 00:38:47.300 --> 00:38:49.019 Somebody dug you up for that? 966 00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:51.440 You always get people who think, and I think it's 967 00:38:51.480 --> 00:38:54.309 important to recognise and start to look at it. 968 00:38:54.519 --> 00:38:56.250 I don't have the rule book that says I'm right. 969 00:38:56.369 --> 00:38:57.929 I can only go with what I think is right 970 00:38:58.010 --> 00:38:59.150 and what my intentions were. 971 00:38:59.670 --> 00:39:02.130 So in terms of, like, can I say anything anymore? 972 00:39:02.530 --> 00:39:04.989 I don't know. I think I'm not really worried about 973 00:39:05.010 --> 00:39:05.730 cancel culture. 974 00:39:05.820 --> 00:39:08.670 I think the been proven that you can't get cancelled 975 00:39:08.730 --> 00:39:10.559 if you went to boarding school like you know Jeremy 976 00:39:10.579 --> 00:39:13.199 Clarkson's not been cancelled if I punch somebody at my 977 00:39:13.239 --> 00:39:15.300 work I get blacklisted and that's exactly what happened actually 978 00:39:15.320 --> 00:39:19.199 I got blacklisted as a tanner I went outside for 979 00:39:19.300 --> 00:39:22.570 a fight with my producer at a Christmas night out 980 00:39:22.619 --> 00:39:26.530 that's why Keegs is doing the exec producer of Scottish 981 00:39:26.550 --> 00:39:28.670 football and Sky Sports that's why I'm fucking doing gigs 982 00:39:28.710 --> 00:39:31.960 in a basement there's a reason that I never got 983 00:39:31.980 --> 00:39:35.079 taken to ESPN do you know what I mean whereas 984 00:39:35.099 --> 00:39:37.659 Jeremy Clarkson can do whatever he wants and still get 985 00:39:37.679 --> 00:39:40.840 shows I think when people get cancelled I feel it's 986 00:39:40.909 --> 00:39:45.639 because they've maybe built their reputation on a bit of 987 00:39:45.659 --> 00:39:48.500 your falsehood and then once they say something about people 988 00:39:48.539 --> 00:39:50.179 are waiting for you there's an opportunity to take them 989 00:39:50.199 --> 00:39:51.619 down I think people are waiting for them because they 990 00:39:51.639 --> 00:39:55.380 go you're at it he's no nice guy or they're 991 00:39:55.400 --> 00:39:56.869 full of shit and then I think what they do 992 00:39:56.909 --> 00:39:58.409 is they then go for them they're going through and 993 00:39:58.510 --> 00:40:01.110 then they find the tweets or they find the emails 994 00:40:01.170 --> 00:40:02.869 or somebody

else comes forward and I kind of feel 995 00:40:02.889 --> 00:40:04.989 like well if somebody wants to. 996 00:40:04.929 --> 00:40:06.989 Come and do that fair enough but I kind of 997 00:40:07.010 --> 00:40:08.960 feel that the way I try and go about my 998 00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:10.460 business and live my life I think. 999 00:40:10.340 --> 00:40:12.559 There'll be a bigger group of people who'll go he's 1000 00:40:12.619 --> 00:40:15.159 alright by the way and like I get loads of 1001 00:40:15.179 --> 00:40:17.239 really nice messages for Rangers supporters and stuff. 1002 00:40:17.079 --> 00:40:19.519 Like that, really, like, big man, I'm a blue nose 1003 00:40:19.539 --> 00:40:20.110 and all that, and. 1004 00:40:20.070 --> 00:40:21.969 I think you're fucking great, or I think your stuff's funny, 1005 00:40:22.010 --> 00:40:24.429 and I was offended, but I think it's important to 1006 00:40:24.469 --> 00:40:27.280 kind of always just try and be cognizant of it, 1007 00:40:27.289 --> 00:40:29.670 and just go, maybe that was wrong, it wasn't my intention, 1008 00:40:29.690 --> 00:40:30.349 do you know what I mean? 1009 00:40:31.349 --> 00:40:34.309 So, your works heavily football theme, we'll finish in a 1010 00:40:34.329 --> 00:40:36.820 wee bit, the football obviously still takes your beloved team, 1011 00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:39.559 which are favourite games, favourite, seasons? 1012 00:40:39.900 --> 00:40:42.480 Favourites, so I never, again, when I was, so growing up, 1013 00:40:42.480 --> 00:40:45.079 my dad worked in a night shift, he's worked in 1014 00:40:45.179 --> 00:40:47.739 a night shift at UIE, he was a welder, so, 1015 00:40:47.860 --> 00:40:52.449 you know, my childhood, the majority was my mum, my 1016 00:40:52.489 --> 00:40:55.010 brother and my sister, you know what I mean, so, 1017 00:40:55.610 --> 00:40:56.929 it's not like I had somebody who could take me 1018 00:40:56.949 --> 00:40:59.510 to go and watch the fitment, for example, so, you know, 1019 00:40:59.750 --> 00:41:01.530 growing up, I remember watching the school cup final and 1020 00:41:01.550 --> 00:41:03.989 all that, and having like a Celtic trip, but I 1021 00:41:04.030 --> 00:41:07.050 wanted to go to Celtic, but didn't have anyone to 1022 00:41:07.070 --> 00:41:08.860 take me and then a woman at our church Louise 1023 00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:10.599 Cricosa went and said to my mum I'll take him 1024 00:41:10.619 --> 00:41:13.199 to see Patrick Thistle and so he's still going to 1025 00:41:13.219 --> 00:41:17.079 see Patrick Thistle and my mum used to teach Keep 1026 00:41:17.139 --> 00:41:19.619 Fit in Somerset and used to teach Jim Duffy's wife 1027 00:41:20.239 --> 00:41:23.800 so Duff's two is down flying from like my 8th 1028 00:41:23.820 --> 00:41:25.260 or 9th birthday I think he took us down to 1029 00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:27.699 Far Hill you know like just into the training the 1030 00:41:27.719 --> 00:41:29.699 dressing room and all that and then my dad worked 1031 00:41:29.739 --> 00:41:32.820 with Albert Craig's brother in the night shifts in the 1032 00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:36.809 yards so I was a I was a mascot for 1033 00:41:36.849 --> 00:41:41.630 Thistle against Celtic and George Shaw scored the winner and 1034 00:41:41.909 --> 00:41:44.010 then he moved to Dundee after that so I kind 1035 00:41:44.050 --> 00:41:46.519 of watched a lot of Thistle games when I was maybe. 1036 00:41:46.280 --> 00:41:48.360 8, 9 and 10 I started playing amateur. 1037 00:41:48.119 --> 00:41:52.559 Football but I've never really been in many games at 1038 00:41:52.599 --> 00:41:56.420 Celtic but probably probably the first proper game I remember 1039 00:41:56.440 --> 00:41:58.960 like going in really loving was the game 2 you 1040 00:41:58.980 --> 00:41:59.980 scored in. 1041 00:41:59.960 --> 00:42:02.699 That temporary stand for the Liverpool game Liverpool. 1042 00:42:02.670 --> 00:42:05.679 Aye 2-2 I was there aye just You weren't in 1043 00:42:05.699 --> 00:42:07.280 the temporary stand were you? 1044 00:42:07.300 --> 00:42:08.449 Aye I was Were you? 1045 00:42:08.590 --> 00:42:10.789 We were behind the goal and you put the penalty 1046 00:42:10.829 --> 00:42:14.889 in off the bar because I remember I remember going 1047 00:42:15.050 --> 00:42:17.739 ah fucking 90 minutes and McManaman's picked up the ball 1048 00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:19.440 to this day it's one of the best goals I've 1049 00:42:19.500 --> 00:42:22.119 ever seen and look Michael Owen scoring do you know 1050 00:42:22.139 --> 00:42:22.500 what I mean? 1051 00:42:22.539 --> 00:42:24.159 Scored that early on didn't he? 1052 00:42:24.380 --> 00:42:28.349 I was there I loved going to the Champions League 1053 00:42:28.369 --> 00:42:30.829 games under Martyn O'Neill because I fell in with a 1054 00:42:30.829 --> 00:42:33.070 group of boys from Dunbarton who were just normal punters, 1055 00:42:33.309 --> 00:42:35.050 they were all mad Celtic fans and that was at 1056 00:42:35.070 --> 00:42:36.679 the time when you could queue up for the Champions 1057 00:42:36.699 --> 00:42:38.389 League tickets, you didn't have a season book, you just 1058 00:42:38.409 --> 00:42:41.300 queued up for the tickets, you know. 1059 00:42:41.980 --> 00:42:44.239 On the night? No, you used to do it. 1060 00:42:44.260 --> 00:42:46.619 It was at the start, they would announce the package 1061 00:42:46.820 --> 00:42:48.420 and then they did it, you queued up, there was 1062 00:42:48.440 --> 00:42:50.139 no online, first come, first served. 1063 00:42:50.159 --> 00:42:51.420 We used to come up to the training room, we 1064 00:42:51.440 --> 00:42:55.110 obviously had changed there and trained at Barrowfield and the 1065 00:42:55.199 --> 00:42:58.159 queues would be right down past the school or along 1066 00:42:58.199 --> 00:42:59.099 the road so. 1067 00:42:58.920 --> 00:43:00.940 You would go up there and queue queue for a 1068 00:43:00.980 --> 00:43:03.199 couple of

hours you'd get the three and it was 1069 00:43:03.219 --> 00:43:06.840 like £ 90 back then so I remember you know like 1070 00:43:06.880 --> 00:43:11.539 that the Lyon Bayern Munich game because I still quite 1071 00:43:11.559 --> 00:43:13.139 proud of Adrian Dunham for a time and I remember 1072 00:43:13.659 --> 00:43:15.230 when I thought when I retired I was like he's 1073 00:43:15.250 --> 00:43:17.889 the fucking German McNamara and Adrian Dunham was like Jackie 1074 00:43:17.909 --> 00:43:20.880 McNamara one of my favourite football players because I remember 1075 00:43:20.920 --> 00:43:22.639 you were playing left back in the Champions League so 1076 00:43:22.659 --> 00:43:24.480 stuff like that you know like with Big Sutton just 1077 00:43:24.980 --> 00:43:27.920 chesting every body for 60 yards and all that that 1078 00:43:27.960 --> 00:43:31.219 was a the UV game no I wasnae I wasnae 1079 00:43:31.400 --> 00:43:33.389 I didn't even make any of those games but I 1080 00:43:33.409 --> 00:43:37.510 was there those two seasons after seen us beat Barcelona 1081 00:43:37.530 --> 00:43:39.989 twice I was there I was in the Barcelona end 1082 00:43:40.369 --> 00:43:43.369 for the game where Thompson scored where everybody gets sent 1083 00:43:43.429 --> 00:43:46.329 off and it was chaos because my mate runs an 1084 00:43:46.349 --> 00:43:49.230 Irish pub in Barcelona so he got his tickets and 1085 00:43:49.250 --> 00:43:50.909 that was Incredible. 1086 00:43:50.929 --> 00:43:53.260 That's the best You'll Never Walk Alone. 1087 00:43:53.199 --> 00:43:54.880 I've ever heard in my life because that was, they 1088 00:43:54.920 --> 00:43:57.960 dedicated that to the people of the Madrid bombings taking 1089 00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:01.239 place that day and it was lit even now the 1090 00:44:01.260 --> 00:44:04.260 hairs on my neck are standing up and because you're 1091 00:44:04.380 --> 00:44:07.159 in that little pocket just away from it you can 1092 00:44:07.260 --> 00:44:09.900 really hear the magnitude of how it goes. 1093 00:44:09.940 --> 00:44:11.719 Did you say you were in the bus or anything? 1094 00:44:11.739 --> 00:44:14.340 I was in the little corner, aye, aye, Niall Dempsey, 1095 00:44:14.360 --> 00:44:15.860 not Niall Dempsey I worked with him but it's Brian's son, 1096 00:44:15.889 --> 00:44:19.130 Niall something Niall who runs the Michael Collins pub in 1097 00:44:19.150 --> 00:44:20.809 Barcelona he got his tickets and we were in me 1098 00:44:20.829 --> 00:44:23.630 and my mate Nicky fucking grabbing each other it was 1099 00:44:24.010 --> 00:44:27.829 really emotional and I actually had my 21st round about 1100 00:44:27.849 --> 00:44:30.639 then and I took my da as a surprise to 1101 00:44:30.659 --> 00:44:33.079 the away leg so I was in. 1102 00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:36.159 The camp now for. 1103 00:44:36.079 --> 00:44:40.960 The Nile Nile game with Marshall and John Kennedy and 1104 00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:42.869 Diddy the Gat got his ticket as well so I 1105 00:44:42.889 --> 00:44:44.989 got two tickets for Niall but I knew Diddy from 1106 00:44:45.010 --> 00:44:48.550 when I worked in well I because I worked on 1107 00:44:48.570 --> 00:44:51.269 Cruise and I DJed on Trash so he used to 1108 00:44:51.289 --> 00:44:53.849 come in he used to come in to buy Cruise 1109 00:44:53.949 --> 00:44:54.889 and Trash he used. 1110 00:44:54.809 --> 00:44:58.670 To come in to buy women's shoes for women. 1111 00:45:00.090 --> 00:45:02.920 So we went down to that hotel his arse hotel 1112 00:45:02.940 --> 00:45:03.920 remember me. 1113 00:45:03.900 --> 00:45:06.539 And my dad that's fucking 25 euro for a vodka. 1114 00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:09.159 And orange and we went and got so I didn't 1115 00:45:09.179 --> 00:45:10.780 need this ticket but obviously he did he's got us 1116 00:45:10.840 --> 00:45:12.820 a ticket and me and my dad went tell you 1117 00:45:12.840 --> 00:45:14.900 what we'll do we'll just get to the first person 1118 00:45:14.940 --> 00:45:17.739 that I saw We'd always love to find out who 1119 00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:19.679 that would be, but as we got outside the stadiums, I. 1120 00:45:19.659 --> 00:45:21.019 Was like, mate, you get a spare ticket, I'm right here, 1121 00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:23.119 just take that one. And they're like, what? Seriously, I'm 1122 00:45:23.159 --> 00:45:25.940 right here, just take it, mate. So that was good. 1123 00:45:26.000 --> 00:45:28.500 And then I was at the other Barcelona game. I 1124 00:45:28.539 --> 00:45:31.139 was at the Tony Watt. I was there for that. 1125 00:45:31.300 --> 00:45:33.619 You were there as well, weren't you? Main stand, we 1126 00:45:33.639 --> 00:45:35.519 were across. I took my son. You took your boy 1127 00:45:35.539 --> 00:45:36.260 and I took my boy. 1128 00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:40.199 I had to take my son out. He was, obviously 1129 00:45:40.239 --> 00:45:41.800 I'd never seen him. He was too young to see 1130 00:45:41.840 --> 00:45:44.449 me playing at Celtic. I took him to that game 1131 00:45:44.469 --> 00:45:47.809 and he loved Messi. and then we're up a few 1132 00:45:47.869 --> 00:45:51.639 of my mates just at half when we scored first 1133 00:45:51.900 --> 00:45:55.039 and he starts creeping in the air because Messi's getting 1134 00:45:55.059 --> 00:45:58.480 beat he wanted Messi to win I was like that 1135 00:45:58.539 --> 00:46:00.679 I was raging I was like that at half time 1136 00:46:01.119 --> 00:46:03.619 the noise he's just scared of the noise and then 1137 00:46:03.699 --> 00:46:06.130 when Tony Watts scored the whole place I had to 1138 00:46:06.150 --> 00:46:09.449 take him out and then he scored Your dad's been 1139 00:46:09.489 --> 00:46:12.409 here for 10 years, he's like that, sitting there with 1140 00:46:12.570 --> 00:46:14.210 all you boys in the car, took him out of 1141 00:46:14.230 --> 00:46:16.449 the car park and waited for everybody, and he's sitting 1142 00:46:16.469 -->

00:46:18.070 like that, I said, I'm not taking you back here again, 1143 00:46:18.630 --> 00:46:25.110 I don't care, I hate them, just sitting. 1144 00:46:22.690 --> 00:46:26.750 Like that, then Messi scored, made it 2-1. 1145 00:46:26.809 --> 00:46:29.260 That was incredible. 1146 00:46:29.340 --> 00:46:32.119 But because you don't go often, it's always a real 1147 00:46:32.139 --> 00:46:34.639 privilege for me when you do go, but I used 1148 00:46:34.659 --> 00:46:37.969 to love going at Setanta, just being the you built 1149 00:46:38.030 --> 00:46:39.590 on the gantry just logging the game because you were. 1150 00:46:39.510 --> 00:46:42.190 Just Was Burley at Satanta with you? He was, Butler, 1151 00:46:42.289 --> 00:46:43.530 aye Uncle Butler. 1152 00:46:43.429 --> 00:46:46.309 Before his American accent Aye. 1153 00:46:46.269 --> 00:46:48.820 Well what's funny is we were just chatting you know 1154 00:46:48.840 --> 00:46:50.920 like sometimes you make a bit of criticism if you're 1155 00:46:50.940 --> 00:46:54.659 speaking out on certain things and I remember I remember 1156 00:46:54.739 --> 00:47:00.239 I remember the I remember the drama when Burley was 1157 00:47:00.369 --> 00:47:02.409 criticised because when we were going to Nightsuit with Burley 1158 00:47:02.429 --> 00:47:03.969 I was like I used to wear the long-sleeved select 1159 00:47:03.989 --> 00:47:05.429 top and all that you know it was Craig Burley 1160 00:47:05.469 --> 00:47:07.949 and like And then he's fucking like, we're the right lads, 1161 00:47:07.969 --> 00:47:11.050 you know, him and Keegs would go, and I remember, 1162 00:47:11.070 --> 00:47:12.210 who was it that. 1163 00:47:12.110 --> 00:47:12.619 Was phoning him? 1164 00:47:13.590 --> 00:47:17.389 Paul Lambert was phoning, we'd go for a drink after 1165 00:47:18.010 --> 00:47:20.329 the live programme, we'd go out on a Sunday, and 1166 00:47:20.349 --> 00:47:22.070 we'd go into the little conference room, STV, and there'd 1167 00:47:22.090 --> 00:47:22.650 be wine and. 1168 00:47:22.590 --> 00:47:25.449 Beer and all that, and fucking, Paul, what do you 1169 00:47:25.469 --> 00:47:26.050 want me to do? 1170 00:47:26.710 --> 00:47:28.309 And the manager's not happy about some of the things, 1171 00:47:28.349 --> 00:47:30.449 because I remember at one point, Martin Neil didn't speak 1172 00:47:30.469 --> 00:47:33.920 to the reporters for about a month or two, there 1173 00:47:33.940 --> 00:47:35.440 was like a mad fallout and all that, so it was, 1174 00:47:36.449 --> 00:47:38.449 kind of brilliant I love a gossip man this is 1175 00:47:38.469 --> 00:47:40.570 amazing do you know what I mean then you'd see 1176 00:47:40.590 --> 00:47:42.389 Neil Lennon out fucking in Ashton Lane do you know 1177 00:47:42.409 --> 00:47:43.269 what I mean through the week and. 1178 00:47:43.230 --> 00:47:44.809 Stuff like that she'd been out a few times with 1179 00:47:44.829 --> 00:47:47.670 Burley aye loads of times aye to ever put

his 1180 00:47:47.730 --> 00:47:48.650 teeth in your drink. 1181 00:47:48.969 --> 00:47:50.510 No he never did that no because I think at 1182 00:47:50.550 --> 00:47:57.300 that point he'd got implants because he'd finished playing he'd implants. 1183 00:47:56.579 --> 00:47:59.260 He'd done it to me one night in TGI's with 1184 00:47:59.460 --> 00:48:03.320 the cocktails and I'm sitting there and I've finished my 1185 00:48:03.340 --> 00:48:05.800 drink and I was like his teeth's hitting my mouth 1186 00:48:06.659 --> 00:48:08.300 I was like, and all the boys, they all knew 1187 00:48:08.380 --> 00:48:09.880 it was going on. I was like, because that was 1188 00:48:09.920 --> 00:48:12.199 his party piece. He'd either do that or put in 1189 00:48:12.219 --> 00:48:15.500 someone's sandwich or roll. I was like, you're fucking bastard. 1190 00:48:15.519 --> 00:48:17.599 We're in TGIs in Glasgow. So I took it out 1191 00:48:17.619 --> 00:48:19.969 of my glass and went, as if I flung it 1192 00:48:20.010 --> 00:48:24.050 across TGIs. And he's like, you're a fucking wee bastard. 1193 00:48:24.769 --> 00:48:27.969 And everybody, all the staff, but I'd kept it. He 1194 00:48:27.989 --> 00:48:29.289 thought I'd flung him out of the air. He's like, 1195 00:48:29.349 --> 00:48:31.829 I'm fucking going home. I put my teeth up naked. 1196 00:48:31.849 --> 00:48:38.650 Some character, he's hated me out. By the way, what 1197 00:48:38.829 --> 00:48:41.889 was funny about Burley, for me, because obviously you just think, 1198 00:48:42.469 --> 00:48:45.380 he's quite cantankerous, the big man, very antagonistic. 1199 00:48:45.880 --> 00:48:47.880 So people would come up, they'd be like, oh, fucking 1200 00:48:47.920 --> 00:48:49.940 big man, fucking love you. I know you love the Celtic. 1201 00:48:49.960 --> 00:48:52.639 And they'd be like, I don't support Celtic, mate. And 1202 00:48:52.659 --> 00:48:54.210 they'd be like, what? He went, I don't support Celtic, 1203 00:48:54.230 --> 00:48:56.969 I support Chelsea, mate. I played for him for 10 years, 1204 00:48:57.110 --> 00:49:00.170 he would just say things like that. Conversation stopper. 1205 00:49:00.230 --> 00:49:03.070 You would just see him, do you know what I mean? 1206 00:49:03.199 --> 00:49:04.119 I'd start a fight. 1207 00:49:04.739 --> 00:49:06.719 I think he was like that when he first came 1208 00:49:06.739 --> 00:49:09.800 to Sutton. Sutton was like that and he was shy. 1209 00:49:09.820 --> 00:49:11.760 So he would go and stand there and people would 1210 00:49:11.780 --> 00:49:13.889 come up to him and he'd be rude or that. 1211 00:49:13.949 --> 00:49:16.869 I'm going, he's going to start selling fans or whatever, 1212 00:49:16.909 --> 00:49:19.329 start a fight. And he didn't know what he engaged, 1213 00:49:19.369 --> 00:49:21.809 he'd just stand there at the pugging machine or looking 1214 00:49:21.849 --> 00:49:23.050 at that or quiet. 1215 00:49:23.269 --> 00:49:25.269 I think that's difficult for people as well just in 1216 00:49:25.309 --> 00:49:27.889 regard that, because you do, if you think, when you 1217 00:49:27.909 --> 00:49:30.389 see people, whether it's online or obviously football is different, 1218 00:49:30.429 --> 00:49:32.070 but you see them, you think you know them. 1219 00:49:32.510 --> 00:49:35.539 So I think they call that parasocial. And you get it, 1220 00:49:35.809 --> 00:49:37.670 like just what we were discussing, a lot of people 1221 00:49:37.690 --> 00:49:39.070 are not particularly outgoing. 1222 00:49:39.090 --> 00:49:41.159 They don't, like talking to people, they might be a 1223 00:49:41.179 --> 00:49:44.630 bit shy or insular, it's the same sort of thing, 1224 00:49:44.670 --> 00:49:46.829 so it's kind of, I do get it, do you 1225 00:49:46.849 --> 00:49:48.869 know what I mean, and people obviously are like, ah, 1226 00:49:48.909 --> 00:49:50.590 big man, and a couple of times they do say, well, I. 1227 00:49:50.530 --> 00:49:55.070 Mean, I don't support selling, and you're. 1228 00:49:53.809 --> 00:49:55.869 Like, fucking hell. Shut the conversation. 1229 00:49:55.909 --> 00:49:58.179 When I had, what's really funny is I hadn't spoken 1230 00:49:58.280 --> 00:50:00.239 to him for months at one point, nearly a year 1231 00:50:00.260 --> 00:50:02.940 just working on something different, and then I'd had this fight, 1232 00:50:02.960 --> 00:50:05.119 and it was the office gossip, and I was straight 1233 00:50:05.139 --> 00:50:08.050 to the phone, Tell your Uncle Walter about what happened 1234 00:50:08.070 --> 00:50:10.340 straight on the phone, just desperate for the gossip. 1235 00:50:11.440 --> 00:50:13.559 Well, you've been a great guest, mate. We're going to 1236 00:50:13.579 --> 00:50:18.679 finish with some recommendations. Our last guest, Frank Goholy, recommends 1237 00:50:18.719 --> 00:50:19.860 an album, a song and a film. 1238 00:50:20.119 --> 00:50:23.699 Okay. So, his album's Hunky Dory by David Bowie. Right. 1239 00:50:24.590 --> 00:50:26.730 I actually listened to this on the way home the 1240 00:50:26.750 --> 00:50:28.170 last time. There's a lot of songs on it that 1241 00:50:28.190 --> 00:50:30.530 I know about. Yeah, I like it by Bowie. His 1242 00:50:30.650 --> 00:50:34.989 song is from Lindisfarne. Winter song. What is that, about 1243 00:50:35.030 --> 00:50:37.969 classical music or something? No, do you not remember, Gazza 1244 00:50:37.989 --> 00:50:40.570 did a song with him, Fogging the Time, Lindisfarne. Okay. 1245 00:50:40.989 --> 00:50:42.809 It's not Fogging the Time, is it? It's not, it's 1246 00:50:42.969 --> 00:50:45.920 a song called Winter Song. Winter Song. And his film 1247 00:50:46.059 --> 00:50:49.860 is Dr. Zhivago, an old classic, which I've not watched. Yeah, 1248 00:50:49.900 --> 00:50:51.039 I've not watched either. 1249 00:50:51.500 --> 00:50:53.139 I remember the thing we were making a reference to, Dr. 1250 00:50:53.159 --> 00:50:56.550 Zhivago and

Trainspotting, I'm sure, or something like that. Right, right. 1251 00:50:56.949 --> 00:50:59.130 So I've not seen it. So can you recommend to 1252 00:50:59.170 --> 00:51:01.449 our next guest an album, a song and a film? 1253 00:51:01.929 --> 00:51:04.869 The album I would go for Future Islands I think 1254 00:51:04.909 --> 00:51:07.269 it's called Singles is the name of the album that's 1255 00:51:07.289 --> 00:51:11.449 the one that's got Seasons Lighthouse Back in the Tallgrass 1256 00:51:11.469 --> 00:51:12.900 you know the band Future Islands the guy that does 1257 00:51:12.920 --> 00:51:15.260 the mad dancing he was on Jules Holland a few 1258 00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:18.900 years ago they went they're tremendous I've seen them Future 1259 00:51:18.960 --> 00:51:22.059 Islands oh as soon as you see the guy dancing 1260 00:51:22.880 --> 00:51:25.130 I watched the one Jules Holland's hitting on me about 1261 00:51:25.650 --> 00:51:28.090 nearly like 10 years ago, and like, everyone was howling, 1262 00:51:28.239 --> 00:51:30.280 at the way this guy was dancing, but he puts 1263 00:51:30.320 --> 00:51:31.760 his heart and soul into it, and he does like 1264 00:51:31.780 --> 00:51:33.940 mad death growls, so sometimes he just won't sing the lyric, 1265 00:51:34.019 --> 00:51:36.590 and he's, you can't take your eyes off him, and 1266 00:51:36.610 --> 00:51:38.409 they've got a few absolute bangers, and I've been to 1267 00:51:38.429 --> 00:51:40.469 see them twice, saw them at the Barrowlands, and I 1268 00:51:40.510 --> 00:51:46.030 saw them at the bandstand, they are brilliant, absolutely brilliant. 1269 00:51:46.110 --> 00:51:50.300 My song would be Rain In The Summertime by Mike 1270 00:51:50.360 --> 00:51:53.179 Peters and The Alarm, so they are a Welsh punk 1271 00:51:53.219 --> 00:51:56.500 rock band, Mike Peters just passed away recently, but they 1272 00:51:56.519 --> 00:51:59.880 opened I think 22 times for U2, they opened for 1273 00:51:59.900 --> 00:52:02.219 The Stones and all that, they were kind of like 1274 00:52:02.239 --> 00:52:06.329 the Welsh equivalent of U2, and they had a couple 1275 00:52:06.409 --> 00:52:07.889 of hits in the 80s, but I've been to see 1276 00:52:07.909 --> 00:52:10.159 them when I was about five year old with my 1277 00:52:10.199 --> 00:52:11.460 brother at the Barrowlands what's. 1278 00:52:11.320 --> 00:52:12.019 The song called again? 1279 00:52:12.179 --> 00:52:13.940 Called Rain in the Summertime that might have been their 1280 00:52:13.980 --> 00:52:16.480 highest charting hit but it's a brilliant song and I 1281 00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:20.010 always think as a Scottish person you cannot help but 1282 00:52:20.070 --> 00:52:23.409 love that relate to it definitely and my film my 1283 00:52:23.510 --> 00:52:28.369 film would be Heat Michael Mann 95 De Niro and 1284 00:52:28.389 --> 00:52:31.630 Pacino and for me I mean I've had that in 1285 00:52:31.650 --> 00:52:33.510 VHS I've had it in DVD I've had it in 1286 00:52:33.530 --> 00:52:36.099 Blu-ray and I've got it on my Apple my films 1287 00:52:36.119 --> 00:52:39.679 because I watch it They're doing a sequel to that? 1288 00:52:39.699 --> 00:52:44.219 They've written, yeah, so Michael Mann has written actually a novel, 1289 00:52:44.380 --> 00:52:46.380 so I think he always wanted to do like a sequel, 1290 00:52:46.480 --> 00:52:48.210 and then he said that when he started fleshing it out, 1291 00:52:48.940 --> 00:52:51.360 he's actually ended up writing a proper novel, so my 1292 00:52:51.400 --> 00:52:54.420 mate read it, we're big Heat fans, so I downloaded 1293 00:52:54.460 --> 00:52:56.800 it on the Kindle, and I was like, first couple 1294 00:52:56.860 --> 00:53:01.059 of pages, it's set right in the aftermath of the film, 1295 00:53:01.800 --> 00:53:03.380 but also then there's a bit of an origin story, 1296 00:53:03.400 --> 00:53:05.369 so it kind of goes back and forward, So I 1297 00:53:05.389 --> 00:53:07.309 was a bit like that, alright, okay, mate, we get it, 1298 00:53:07.329 --> 00:53:10.079 we get it, because it keeps referencing things that happened 1299 00:53:10.119 --> 00:53:12.360 at the end of the film, but see, after that, 1300 00:53:12.400 --> 00:53:13.960 I got in it, it's like a big crime novel, 1301 00:53:14.039 --> 00:53:16.019 it's like 300 or 400 pages, it's brilliant. 1302 00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:17.340 Just like a right, good. 1303 00:53:17.380 --> 00:53:21.840 Enjoyable sort of crime caper, so I'm looking forward to it. 1304 00:53:21.860 --> 00:53:23.800 I think DiCaprio. 1305 00:53:23.159 --> 00:53:26.949 Plays the Val Kilmer role, he's the guy that escapes, 1306 00:53:27.010 --> 00:53:30.409 so DiCaprio plays him, and I think Christian Bale plays like... 1307 00:53:31.400 --> 00:53:34.199 the young Al Pacino role as the Vincent Hanna, the 1308 00:53:34.400 --> 00:53:34.880 cop and all. 1309 00:53:34.840 --> 00:53:36.210 That, so we'll see how it pans out. 1310 00:53:36.230 --> 00:53:39.900 Alright, good recommendation mate, great guest, thanks for coming on. 1311 00:53:39.909 --> 00:53:40.940 Thanks for having me on.