สำเนาบทสนทนา 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:09.439
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life.
00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:18.000
I'm your host Evic, and today we are diving into something that every one of us struggles with at the same point.
00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:21.679
The art of resetting our thinking.
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:22.640
Yes.
00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:27.600
So when life feels overwhelming, right?
00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:33.679
When uh burnout creeps in, when our nervous system goes haywire.
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:37.119
So how do we regroup?
00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:43.280
How do we lead ourselves and others with the clarity and the compassion?
00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:45.679
That's a good question, right, dear listeners?
00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:49.679
Well, today's guest has the blueprint.
00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:52.640
Joining me is Barbara Gustafson.
00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:54.159
So welcome to the show, Barbara.
00:00:54.479 --> 00:00:55.840
Thank you so much, Avik.
00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:58.479
It's wonderful to be here with you and your listeners.
00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:00.159
Amazing, amazing.
00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:05.359
So, dear listeners, before we start, I'll quickly love to introduce uh Barbara with all of you.
00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:15.280
Um, dear listeners, Barbara is a brain health educator, leadership coach, and neuroscience-informed guide to resilience.
00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:27.840
So she helps leaders, caregivers, and professionals regroup before they crash using simple science-bad tools that work in real life.
00:01:28.159 --> 00:01:40.079
So with a claiming uh with a calming energy and uh practical wisdom, she brings a refreshing approach to sustainable leadership and holistic building.
00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:48.560
So, gravity and take a deep breath and let's explore how we can truly reset our thinking.
00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:50.560
So, welcome to the show again.
00:01:51.680 --> 00:02:00.000
Yes, and I'm taking that deep breath with everyone because that that's often where it starts, is just taking a deep breath.
00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:07.840
And it's interesting that one breath alone, uh, science has shown it immediately shifts your awareness.
00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:15.759
Uh, just because we're going forward and breathing, it's you're being still, but it's it's not wasted.
00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:18.879
You're able to go deep and notice what's happening.
00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:21.680
So I love that you mentioned take a deep breath.
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:22.960
Exactly.
00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:25.599
So I'm in guest friend P.
00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:28.719
So yeah, really.
00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:36.479
I mean, I I also just just I also did the same, and it actually helps you focus and um true.
00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:38.319
So I'll I'll come to you.
00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:46.639
Uh like you often talk about recognizing the signs uh before we burn out.
00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:57.759
So if you could share uh some of the earliest warning signals like people tend to miss when their nervous system starts getting overloaded.
00:02:58.479 --> 00:03:08.960
Yes, I'm actually gonna use myself as an example because I've been at least two different times that I'm aware of in a burnout phase.
00:03:09.199 --> 00:03:20.000
And this really began, I would say, about 16 years ago when my mother passed, and I didn't have time to grieve.
00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:27.199
I had to quickly jump into navigating a journey with my father who had Huntington's disease.
00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:30.800
And um, that's a rare brain disorder.
00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:38.000
And basically, a simple explanation is it's like having Alzheimer's, ALS, and Parkinson's at the same time.
00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:40.159
Um, so I jumped right in.
00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:43.199
And this is when I was working full-time.
00:03:43.520 --> 00:03:45.280
My boys were younger.
00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:50.639
Uh, I lived about three hours away, and so I commuted back and forth, back and forth.
00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:54.560
And honestly, my mother had did a lot of caregiving.
00:03:54.639 --> 00:04:02.400
She was a nurse, but she worked part-time so that she could take care of, learn how to take care of my dad to have those skills.
00:04:02.719 --> 00:04:05.680
But she didn't share a lot with me about what was going on.
00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:08.080
So a lot of it was a shock.
00:04:08.240 --> 00:04:12.400
And so just trying to navigate, help him make some difficult decisions.
00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:17.360
And that turned into about a 15 to 16 year journey.
00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:19.519
He passed away a couple of years ago.
00:04:19.680 --> 00:04:28.399
And but for me, the signs of burnout was I was trying to do it all, like everything.
00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:31.120
I I didn't take much time off.
00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:38.480
I still kept the house clean, you know, did all the sports with my boys and in all the middle of this.
00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:43.680
And and so that was a first sign for me, was that I was trying to do it all.
00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:49.040
And I, you know, I did it with, you know, I wasn't complaining.
00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:54.639
I was like, you know, I'm gonna take care of my loved one no matter what it takes, but it wasn't without a cost.
00:04:54.879 --> 00:05:06.399
And so I was able to maintain that speed and for a long time, eventually it started impacting my health in little subtle ways.
00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:09.680
Uh, probably the first way was sleep.
00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:14.399
That was something that I just suffered without.
00:05:14.560 --> 00:05:19.680
And I didn't realize the impact it would have on so many areas of my life.
00:05:19.839 --> 00:05:27.120
Um, so for me, disrupted and non-quality sleep was a big sign of leading to burnout.
00:05:27.199 --> 00:05:45.279
Um, that was quiet, you know, and I pushed through like a lot of people do and caregivers and parents,
Load full transcript
but over time that led to just being in a um constantly feeling on the edge, but still feeling the need to hustle harder.
00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:52.879
And so that was another sign, me being exhausted, but feeling like I wasn't doing enough still.
00:05:53.120 --> 00:06:06.800
So if if you notice, I'm I'm kind of turning these signs on me because when we're burnout, um it's a lack of boundaries for ourselves.
00:06:07.759 --> 00:06:14.480
And anytime we want to change something in our life, transformation starts with us.
00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:28.800
So often we look at burnout as external things happening to us, which often is, but it's also our response or our lack of boundaries for that, or a lack of clarity, what our boundaries need to be.
00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:30.079
Um, so that was sign.
00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:49.199
And over time, that led to brain fog, it led to resentment, just being being pulled in different directions, and it also led to the cost of caring too much.
00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:50.720
And there's science behind that.
00:06:50.879 --> 00:07:00.319
There is literally a cost of listening too much, caring too much, and that eventually turns into what they call compassion fatigue.
00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:04.800
That's very prevalent in a lot of helping professionals, caregivers.
00:07:05.199 --> 00:07:09.360
And so it, those are some of the signs that led to burnout.
00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:17.439
And when you look at it uh from a neuroscience background, it isn't just the physical.
00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:28.399
It's you're getting affected in the emotional, the spiritual areas of your life, the psychological areas of a life.
00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.720
So it's really the whole being that's impacted.
00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:37.040
But sometimes we just tend to focus on the physical strains of burnout.
00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:38.720
Wow.
00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:41.040
True.
00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:54.240
And and like uh once people recognize those signs, what's the typically the very first small actionable step they can take to calm the nervous system?
00:07:55.199 --> 00:08:03.040
Yes, and I'm glad you focused on small, because what we tend to do, especially if you're a supporter and helper, you want to make a big change.
00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:32.000
And that's understandable because when we come to realize that we're either headed towards burnout or perhaps we're in a season of being affected by some of the symptoms, we often want to shift everything, but that's sometimes not something that is practical in our lives, especially if you're a caregiver, if you're the only child caring for someone, you do have more responsibilities than the other person.
00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:34.559
So tiny steps is huge.
00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:42.480
And over time, and again, I've been through a couple of rounds of burnout, I really came to realize it's the small things that I do every day.
00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:48.320
And so I'm gonna share a framework that has helped me that I created.
00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:55.600
And it's some of this is things that I've learned from my care support team, but it's really helped me frame this.
00:08:55.679 --> 00:09:02.159
And I'm gonna give the framework that I can give a couple of things that I can do in each one of those.
00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:06.159
So the word regroup is easy for me to remember.
00:09:06.320 --> 00:09:08.559
So each of those letters stand for something.
00:09:08.639 --> 00:09:12.320
And the very first one is regulate your nervous system.
00:09:12.799 --> 00:09:21.279
This is when we uh give ourselves little moments to reset to our baseline and we shift out of survival mode.
00:09:21.360 --> 00:09:26.879
Um, and this is using simple tools like breath work, movement.
00:09:27.039 --> 00:09:34.559
It doesn't have to be hardcore exercise, but even every 90 minutes getting up and move, um, mindfulness.
00:09:34.639 --> 00:09:40.320
And that could be literally sitting on your back porch, looking at the clouds, listening to the birds.
00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:47.440
Um, but breath work has been something that I've started very small and have grown that practice over time.
00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:58.080
And it can be simply just starting and just breathing in deeply and breathing all the way out as a start multiple times a day.
00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:02.879
And I encourage people to really attach this to a habit you already have.
00:10:03.039 --> 00:10:11.519
Uh, you may have heard of the term habit stacking by James Clear, but you can tie it to, let's say you're in meetings day in, day out.
00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:16.320
At the end and beginning of every meeting meeting, just kind of do some breath work.
00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:20.639
And my favorite form of breath work is the four, seven, eight breath.
00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:29.840
That's tied to reducing inflammation over time, but it's literally simply just breathing in four seconds, holding it for seven.
00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:35.039
That's a really long time, and then slowly breathing out for eight.
00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:36.960
And then there's box breathing.
00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:40.559
So I encourage people, start small, do something.
00:10:40.639 --> 00:10:45.120
Like if you haven't done any breath work, just start with taking a deep breath.
00:10:45.279 --> 00:10:48.799
If you've done some, try box breathing, whatever works for you.
00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:50.799
And it it can be a minute.
00:10:50.960 --> 00:10:57.840
The key here is scheduling it because for a lot of busy people, they know what they need to do.
00:10:57.919 --> 00:11:03.519
They know, they already know they need to be better at self-care, but the follow-through is pretty small.
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:14.000
So literally scheduling it and just like you would for a meeting, set an alert on your phone if you think you'll overlook that meeting and do that.
00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:19.039
And it's just these little
micro resets that you have built in your day.
00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:23.759
And the E, I'll go through these a little more quickly.
00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:27.360
Um, the E is your energy drains.
00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:29.759
This has been key for me.
00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:37.440
And in a book that is coming out at about six months, I walk through what those energy drains were for me.
00:11:37.759 --> 00:11:42.960
And it's usually it's they're really subtle and they're a little bit tricky, tricky.
00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:47.679
Uh, one of them is overanalyzing or overthinking.
00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:50.320
And all of these have the word over in it.
00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:58.879
And I did that intentionally because it's important to think through something and it is important to analyze and problem solve.
00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:03.440
But what we tend to do is we do it from our head too much.
00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:12.480
And there's science showing like we have different brain waves, and our beta state is a great place for productivity, creativity.
00:12:12.639 --> 00:12:19.600
But what happens is we get too high in beta when we're in stress, and then we start to overthink, overanalyze.
00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:30.080
Um, so that is something once I was aware of, I could be watchful and I could do things that calmed my brain so I can bring that beta down.
00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:33.519
So there's different energy drains that we all have.
00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:39.759
And it's important to know what's quietly depleting you because a lot of them we don't even notice.
00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:51.440
And so when we're able to identify habits and even beliefs that we have about what we're doing and that it's draining our energy, we can begin to release them.
00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:52.799
Exactly.
00:12:53.039 --> 00:12:53.440
Wow.
00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:54.240
Yeah.
00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:57.039
And the G is give yourself margin.
00:12:57.200 --> 00:13:01.679
It's just simply giving yourself white space and breathing room.
00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:09.519
And again, I intentionally made these easy because we tend to want to go for the bells and whistles, but we have to come back to the basics.
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:20.639
But it's really giving ourselves space for clarity, creativity, especially when things that we were once passionate about start to feel like pressure.
00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:27.200
And the R is reconnect with your resilience.
00:13:27.519 --> 00:13:48.159
So you mentioned that early on, but this is ties back to remembering what our capacity is, remembering when we don't exceed our energy and tuning back into those internal strengths and experiences that remind you that you have navigated hard things before.
00:13:48.320 --> 00:14:03.200
So it's really getting back into the mode that we are stronger than we think, and through flexibility and even growth from hard times can help us become resilient.
00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:05.519
And we got three more.
00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:07.759
O is operate from alignment.
00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:22.399
A lot of us know that we get clarity when we know what our values, our purpose are, but often we don't lead from those values or we forget just because we're so incredibly busy and others are leaning on us.
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:33.200
So making decisions that really reflect what matters to us most, and decisions that protect our time, our energy, and confidence.
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:40.879
And the last two, and these are no particular order, but I feel like the last two are super critical.
00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:43.519
Uh, the you is update your thinking.
00:14:43.759 --> 00:15:00.159
This is where we refocus on our mental lens and we replace automatic negative thoughts, which I've reheard referred to as the ants, and we replace those with empowering thoughts using principles of neuroplasticity.
00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:10.240
And neuroplasticity is a big word, but it really boils down to your brain's ability to shape and change in a positive or negative way.
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:14.399
And the P is prioritize brain health.
00:15:14.559 --> 00:15:23.120
This is something that I became acutely aware of, not just with my dad's brain health challenges, but also my own.
00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:30.080
Um, I was able to have a brain scan back in 2017 because I wanted to be proactive with my brain health.
00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:34.320
And that's when I realized how much pictures matter.
00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:40.720
And it's interesting because most specialists they take a picture of the organ they treat.
00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:45.360
And in psychiatry or brain health, they rarely take a picture of the brain.
00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:56.080
So when I saw what my brain looked like and was able to, with the support of a team, it revealed a couple of mild injuries, ADD trauma.
00:15:56.240 --> 00:16:01.759
And it really changed the way that I looked at working with leaders and caregivers.
00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:20.480
So this is really about building your long-term capacity and strengthening your what I believe is your most important leadership asset, your brain, just because that function, you know, that drives our decisions, our relationships, our purpose, and everything we do.
00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:23.200
Exactly.
00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:24.399
Wow.
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:25.519
Amazing.
00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:26.960
That's really amazing.
00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:35.039
And also, like, um, you know, in our world uh today, uh, resilience can sometimes sound like a buzzword.
00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:41.519
So uh, but you approach it as something which is living, dynamic, and sustainable.
00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:50.000
So, how can someone build resilience without falling into uh that um push harder trap?
00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:53.279
Oh my goodness, yes, I know where you're coming from.
00:16:53.519 --> 00:17:03.360
I know it really helped for me because I can
look back in times and situations in my life that I wish that I were stronger and more resilient.
00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:06.319
Like I wish I was more resilient when my mom passed away.
00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:09.599
Like there was a time, period of time that I did fall apart.
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:18.319
And what I realized is resilience can begin even when something has already taken place.
00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:28.400
For example, you can look back to a time where you wish you were stronger and evaluate that experience and you can reframe it.
00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:38.079
Like there were certain times I wish I had been stronger for my family, but I look back and I realized, wow, I was already strong.
00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:50.000
Yes, I fell apart, but considering what was happening around me, what my response was pretty appropriate to what a lot of people, you know, how they would have responded.
00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:52.880
So it's really going back for me.
00:17:52.960 --> 00:18:05.519
It's starting with going back and reframing certain situations I went through in my life and recognizing wow, I already exhibited the strengths and the traits of being resilient.
00:18:05.920 --> 00:18:09.119
And I can continue to grow that.
00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:13.200
And there's a term that a lot more people are talking about.
00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:14.559
I'm so grateful.
00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:17.119
And that is post-traumatic growth.
00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:23.519
We tend to focus on the trauma these days, the triggering, which is important for awareness and being trauma informed.
00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:35.839
But when you can go back and realize that you can actually grow, not despite of what's happened to you, but because of it, you can actually become stronger.
00:18:36.079 --> 00:19:00.160
And a lot of the research that they've done with adverse childhood experiences with groups of people who did not go through trauma and those that did, many of those who went through trauma, if they were intentional about became becoming stronger, they actually showed more signs of resilience than the group of people who didn't have any traumatic experiences at all.
00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:06.079
And that's mind-blowing, but it also gave me hope at the time I was reading about this.
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:12.160
And I think it's giving other people hope too, who have been through difficult situations.
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:16.240
And they have now they have a big calling.
00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:19.359
In fact, they've turned their pain into purpose.
00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:23.839
They really want to help others through experiences they've been through.
00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:27.279
And they have boots on the ground, they're helping other people.
00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:37.359
Yet they're also realizing that it's easy to start to lose yourself when you're overhelping and overgiving.
00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:40.960
And you don't have to choose either or.
00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:44.640
You can choose to take care of your needs while helping other people.
00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:47.519
And it may look differently than other people do.
00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:57.440
Um, I think, especially those in the health professions, you know, they're they're constantly helping others and also caregivers as well.
00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:04.079
And I had to find a way to take care of my needs while I was caring for my dad.
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:12.960
And I wasn't always thriving a hundred percent, but I can tell you I was able to get out of that day-to-day survival mode.
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:19.599
And it took a lot of practice and it's it's possible, and it starts with little steps.
00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:21.200
True.
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:22.000
Exactly.
00:20:22.240 --> 00:20:23.599
Wow, that's amazing.
00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:29.759
Yeah, so Barbara, I mean, this is such a um incalming and eye-opening conversation.
00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:36.319
And I know our listeners are working away today, not just with the information, but with a hope.
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:45.839
So uh kind of resetting your thinking isn't about perfection, it's all about the gentle shifts that lead to the profound changes.
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.720
So um, yeah, that's amazing.
00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:56.480
And for all the listeners who are listening right now, remember that your brain is designed to heal.
00:20:56.720 --> 00:21:11.599
So take one small step today, whether that's a breath, uh gratitude moment, or maybe you can say a reframed thought and trust that you are already on the path of renewal.
00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:12.799
Lovely, right?
00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:17.920
So, um, Barbara, if someone wants to connect with you, what will be the best medium to connect?
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:24.079
Yes, they can simply go to my website, discover nextstep.com.
00:21:25.279 --> 00:21:25.599
Okay.
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:26.720
Perfect.
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:28.319
That's quite easy.
00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:33.759
And um, so dear listeners, what I'll do, I'll put all the links into the show notes for your easy reference.
00:21:33.920 --> 00:21:44.960
And uh, if you have enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow us on favorite podcast platform and share this with someone who might need a gentle reset today.
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:52.400
And as always, stay curious, stay compassionate, and keep nurturing your healthy mind and a healthy life.
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:54.319
So, thank you so much.
00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:55.680
Thank you.