สำเนาบทสนทนา 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:04.240
Hello, and welcome to the Designing with Love podcast.
00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:11.919
I am your host, Jackie Pelegrin, where my goal is to bring you information, tips, and tricks as an instructional designer.
00:00:11.919 --> 00:00:17.120
Hello, instructional designers and educators.
00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:21.600
Welcome to episode 138 of the Designing with Love podcast.
00:00:21.600 --> 00:00:24.320
I'm thrilled to have Darrell Williams with me today.
00:00:24.320 --> 00:00:34.560
Darrell is a master certified life coach, inspirational speaker, and certified facilitator who helps people grow in leadership, relationships, and purpose.
00:00:34.560 --> 00:00:44.560
What's wonderful is he brings 30 years of federal service, a distinguished 20-year military career, and was inducted into the White House Communications Agency Hall of Fame.
00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:46.880
I'm looking forward to hearing about that a little bit more.
00:00:46.880 --> 00:00:48.479
Welcome to the show, Gerald.
00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:51.920
Jackie, thank you so much for having me.
00:00:52.320 --> 00:00:52.960
Wonderful.
00:00:52.960 --> 00:01:05.920
Well, to start, can you tell us a little bit more about yourself, other than what I mentioned in the introduction, or maybe you want to expand upon it, um, about your journey and what led you from military and federal leadership into coaching and facilitation?
00:01:06.879 --> 00:01:07.280
Sure.
00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:13.840
So my journey, as we talked before the show, really started growing up in Compton, California.
00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:19.200
Those that have seen the movie Boys in the Hood, that was the era that I actually grew up in.
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:23.519
And my sister and brothers grew up during the era of straight out of Compton.
00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:31.760
So for me, being the oldest, I wanted to make sure whatever decisions I made were positive ones that affected them as well.
00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:35.599
And so for me, that led to joining the military.
00:01:35.599 --> 00:01:38.400
Joined the military right out of high school.
00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:45.200
The MOS or military occupational skill that I selected was human resources.
00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:51.599
I had a great typing teacher that taught me more than just typing at that time, but really about life.
00:01:51.599 --> 00:01:56.560
You know, where did I want to go and type of things I wanted to do and how could I get there?
00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:07.040
And uh she was really that first you know leader outside of family that helped me kind of really look at things from afar and not just that first immediate need.
00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:11.120
And once I joined the military, um, everything just took off.
00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:16.639
I saw these people with stripes that were definitely bigger than what I had.
00:02:16.639 --> 00:02:27.039
So I would find myself going to those individuals and asking them to be a mentor, or I would just ask them questions that allowed them to become unofficial mentors.
00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:40.719
And from there, every place that I was assigned, I would always find either the sharpest person or the person that was considered the leader, and I would make sure that I would connect with that person.
00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:48.240
I found early in my military journey the more mentorship you have, the farther you can go.
00:02:48.240 --> 00:02:54.400
It was just a true thing that I took even after my uh time in the military.
00:02:54.400 --> 00:03:10.879
I would still find leaders within the federal government that people looked up to, uh, mentors to make sure that I would always put myself in a place where there was somebody else that was helping me guide my career versus trying to depend on doing things on my own.
00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:26.879
And then once I retired out of the military and worked with the government for a while, and started realizing there's a lot of things, Jackie, that the Department of Defense does for their leaders that other organizations may not do.
00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:33.360
So I thought that why should the Department of Defense monopolize all these leadership skills?
00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:38.479
Like maybe they need to be shared with other organizations, other agencies.
00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:47.680
So I just decided to kind of package up those things that I thought would be helpful, those things that are transferable to other organizations.
00:03:47.680 --> 00:04:04.159
And kind of my niche was just how can I meet the need of this organization, this school, this college, and I would just bring that to whatever the platform was, whether it was speaking, facilitating, uh, or even coaching.
00:04:04.560 --> 00:04:05.039
Wow.
00:04:05.039 --> 00:04:06.159
That's amazing.
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:17.759
So you really you really got to take what you learned in your military career and bring that to the civilian world and see how you could make a difference in different organizations and schools and communities.
00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:18.560
I love that.
00:04:18.560 --> 00:04:20.399
That's great because it's true.
00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:22.800
The military really does teach so much.
00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:24.879
And why why monopolize that?
00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:25.759
I agree.
00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:27.920
Why not share that exactly?
00:04:27.920 --> 00:04:30.079
Because there's so many great skills that teach us.
00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:39.839
And yeah, so it sounds like you were able to take that once you once you graduate, or once you were able to retire from from military service and really utilize that.
00:04:39.839 --> 00:04:41.199
So that's that's great.
00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:43.680
That's that's a sign of a wonderful leader, right?
00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:46.240
That you're able to yeah, bring that about.
00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:47.439
So that's great.
00:04:47.439 --> 00:04:49.040
So yeah.
Load full transcript
00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:50.879
Yeah, one quick thing on that.
00:04:50.879 --> 00:05:09.600
It was so forth um interesting in the beginning when I would go to organizations and after I would kind of give my first pitch or share my first travel White House event or something like that, people would say, Well, I'm not sure what you're telling us is gonna work because in the military they have to listen to you.
00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:12.240
So that doesn't work in the private industry.
00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:19.439
And what I shared with them, Jackie, was yes, because of the rank structure, people have to listen to you.
00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:23.439
However, that does not guarantee they're gonna give you their best.
00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:37.439
And I guess that and that's why leadership is important because you want people in any organization to give you their best, and you want to bring out the best from that individual, and that has nothing to do with rank.
00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:39.120
Oh, that's so true.
00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:54.560
If a culture, yeah, if there's not a good sense of culture, I actually just took a survey from my department, and we talked about it in our um in our leadership meeting today, this morning, and it was really neat, thrill, because it was like um, I forget the title of it.
00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:58.240
It was like uh what's working and and what's not, right?
00:05:58.240 --> 00:05:58.800
Kind of thing.
00:05:58.800 --> 00:06:03.360
They made it a catchy title and not just employed engagement survey or something like that.
00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:12.319
So they made it catchy and it was really good because it gave us a chance, it gives us a chance once a year to really assess what's our culture look like?
00:06:12.319 --> 00:06:16.319
You know, what kind of things are we doing to keep to stay connected to each other?
00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:26.240
Because we uh we work from home, we're we're remote workers, so being able to have that connection that we don't normally get when we're in the office is really really great to have.
00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:34.399
So yeah, so it's it's important, right, to have that sense of community and and culture as well, um, even in the military, right?
00:06:34.879 --> 00:06:36.240
Especially in the military.
00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:37.040
Yes.
00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:43.439
Because uh yeah, they they have to do a lot of things that some of us would never imagine doing.
00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:47.600
So being able to keep them motivated, right, is so important, right?
00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:49.680
And have that sense of community and culture.
00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:53.120
Yeah, that they can they can rely on each other, right?
00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:54.720
Yeah, absolutely.
00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:55.839
Yes.
00:06:55.839 --> 00:07:05.920
So many of my listeners are educators and instructional designers like myself who often lead through influence rather than formal authority, like I was just
mentioning with myself.
00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:10.000
I don't have that title, but I lead in so many different ways.
00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:17.040
What are some practical ways and that uh they can grow strong, trusted leaders in in those kind of roles?
00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:19.120
No, that's a very good question.
00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:24.959
Because a lot of people I talk to, they're quick to say, Well, I'm not in charge of anyone, or it's just me.
00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:28.480
And like I always share with them, everyone is a leader.
00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:31.680
Um, because the first person that you're leading is yourself.
00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:35.920
Once you can lead yourself, then you learn to lead others.
00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:47.680
And for individuals that may not believe that they can do those types of things or don't have that experience, uh, one thing I always share with them is to use a coaching leadership style.
00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:56.639
Um because really influence is built through relationships and expertise, uh, and definitely not a title.
00:07:56.639 --> 00:08:06.240
So some of the practical ways that I share with uh people, uh, one is focus on solving uh the problems.
00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:10.000
Don't worry about your being in charge or not being in charge.
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:16.399
Uh instructional designers and educators often succeed uh kind of when they're acting as a bridge builder.
00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:18.959
I've seen that in our trained academies.
00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:28.160
But instead of pushing a new tool or theory, I would challenge them to ask their colleagues, right, what is your biggest headache right now?
00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:37.919
Um, because by fixing a small headache, um, kind of really builds that immediate credibility because you're addressing a pain point.
00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:44.559
And when every time you gain credibility, um, and it leads to larger initiatives later.
00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.559
Mm-hmm that's wonderful.
00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:47.519
I love that.
00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:55.679
And I've had some people I spoke to, I would talk to them about kind of looking at using like a consultant approach, right?
00:08:55.679 --> 00:09:06.799
So instead of giving orders or telling somebody what they should do, um, they can ask powerful open-ended questions such as, how might this change impact your students?
00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:12.399
Or what does success look like uh for you um here in this situation?
00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:22.879
Uh, because the main thing you'll find out that when you do that and take that approach, it kind of shifts the dynamics from being a boss uh to being a strategic partner.
00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:32.720
That's what everybody wants, regardless of where you work is a strategic partner, somebody that's in this with me instead of just telling me what to do from afar.
00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:34.480
That's great.
00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:37.679
I love that combination of being able to do that.
00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:46.879
And really, as you mentioned, Daryl, what really stood out to me is the pain points, looking at those pain points and what's your what's your biggest headache, right?
00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:48.240
What can we help solve?
00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:50.399
And I think that's so important, right?
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:51.200
I love that.
00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:56.960
And then acting as a consultant instead of trying to give orders, yeah, that's so so huge.
00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:06.000
Because you come alongside them and you meet them where they are, and you're able to help them grow and ultimately you grow, right, as an individual as well through that process.
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:07.200
That's great.
00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:18.080
Um so many of your speaking engagements, you talk about um coaching around leadership, relationships, and purpose, which I think is so key.
00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:24.399
Um, and with GCU being a Christian university, that really speaks to a lot of my listeners and myself too.
00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:33.120
So when someone feels stuck, stretched thin, or maybe unsure of what their next step should be, how can they begin reconnecting with their purpose in a meaningful way?
00:11:11.009 --> 00:11:19.330
That is a great question, and I tell you, I hear a lot of that um throughout the different organizations that I um speak at.
00:11:19.330 --> 00:11:23.090
And it's just a common thing, it happens to the best of us.
00:11:23.090 --> 00:11:32.530
Uh, I want your listeners to know that there's nothing wrong with them uh feeling that way or going through that type of transition because it is a part of life, right?
00:11:32.530 --> 00:11:37.570
So never look at yourself as, oh my gosh, what's wrong with me, or I've never felt this way before.
00:11:37.570 --> 00:11:40.050
We all grow through something like this.
00:11:40.050 --> 00:11:48.370
Uh one thing I would share with your listeners is kind of look at an approach, I call it the three R's, right?
00:11:48.370 --> 00:11:50.769
It's always good to remember things in threes.
00:11:50.769 --> 00:11:54.690
Um, the first one is kind of re-look at their passion.
00:11:54.690 --> 00:11:59.570
Because normally our passion will lead us back to our purpose.
00:11:59.570 --> 00:12:00.050
Right?
00:12:00.050 --> 00:12:01.330
All of us get off track.
00:12:01.330 --> 00:12:05.009
But when we go back to okay, why did I even get into structural design?
00:12:05.009 --> 00:12:07.009
Why did I become an educator?
00:12:07.009 --> 00:12:19.570
And once you start pulling those layers and you decide, well, these are things that took me away from what I really wanted to do, then you go and find a way to get back uh to that first true love.
00:12:19.570 --> 00:12:23.889
Uh the second R I would say is reconnect with the mentor.
00:12:23.889 --> 00:12:33.170
I said earlier you can get to places a lot faster, a lot quicker uh when you're
working with someone that's been there, done that.
00:12:33.170 --> 00:12:33.730
Right?
00:12:33.730 --> 00:12:38.690
So reconnecting with that mentor helps us uh really get back to our true north.
00:12:38.690 --> 00:12:42.850
Because when we get back on our true north, that's when we normally get back on track.
00:12:42.850 --> 00:12:47.730
Because a lot of times we get in our own way, we don't see those blind spots.
00:12:47.730 --> 00:12:52.450
But our mentor does such a good job of saying, Jackie, why did you do that?
00:12:52.450 --> 00:12:54.610
Or why'd you take that particular role?
00:12:54.610 --> 00:12:56.210
Or why didn't you do that?
00:12:56.210 --> 00:12:58.690
Or why didn't you take that role?
00:12:58.690 --> 00:13:08.769
And by them asking us those types of questions, we kind of peel back the layers and see, wow, maybe I didn't do that because of this or because of that.
00:13:08.769 --> 00:13:15.490
So a mentor can be really critical uh part of that second R to get back uh to our purpose.
00:13:15.490 --> 00:13:20.129
And then the third R is just reviewing options uh to find a coach.
00:13:20.129 --> 00:13:26.450
A lot of people nowadays, especially that are successful, uh, they have a coach, right?
00:13:26.450 --> 00:13:37.490
Somebody that's different from a mentor, where a mentor kind of tells you what to do or what they would do, while a coach kind of brings those things out of you because it's already inside of you.
00:13:37.490 --> 00:13:46.370
So they can help you find those answers, and then you become the owner of the strategy to get back on track.
00:13:47.250 --> 00:13:47.810
That's great.
00:13:47.810 --> 00:13:49.330
I love that with the three R's.
00:13:49.330 --> 00:13:49.730
I agree.
00:13:49.730 --> 00:13:51.889
It's it's easy to remember things in threes.
00:13:51.889 --> 00:13:52.769
I love that.
00:13:52.769 --> 00:14:06.850
You know, and one thing, Jerl, I offer to my students is I always give them that opportunity to stay connected with me beyond the class because it's so important because so many times students will think, oh, I'm just gonna go class to class, instructor to instructor, right?
00:14:06.850 --> 00:14:10.210
And um, and but they don't form those meaningful connections.
00:14:10.210 --> 00:14:16.850
And I think it's so important with their fellow students and with their instructors, as long as the instructor's willing to do it, right?
00:14:16.850 --> 00:14:19.970
Um, I think it's really great to take advantage of that.
00:14:19.970 --> 00:14:21.410
So it's really great.
00:14:21.410 --> 00:14:26.690
I even offer like weekly Zoom meetings with my students if they want it, and some of them don't come.
00:14:26.690 --> 00:14:35.570
And I just think to myself, gosh, if I had that opportunity when I was in my master's going to school online, I would have, I would have taken advantage of it as often as possible.
00:14:35.570 --> 00:14:52.769
So yeah, so it's it's like look at those little gems,
right, of opportunity and see where you can really tap into those because, like you said, it it really helps you to uh to be able to excel faster and to be able to go go to that higher level, right?
00:14:52.769 --> 00:14:56.370
And then you can turn around and pay it, pay it forward to someone else as well.
00:14:56.610 --> 00:15:01.009
No, and you bring up a good point, Jackie, because I do a lot of military transition coaching.
00:15:01.009 --> 00:15:08.050
And when I talk to those veterans, and we start looking at, you know, building their network, reconnecting with the network.
00:15:08.050 --> 00:15:10.290
Okay, what do you want to do outside of military?
00:15:10.290 --> 00:15:18.290
And then once they kind of figure out what that is, then I start going back to let's not even worry about jobs.
00:15:18.290 --> 00:15:19.889
Who can you talk to?
00:15:19.889 --> 00:15:20.450
Right?
00:15:20.450 --> 00:15:28.769
And they'll list maybe a former supervisor or they'll mention this person and that, and I say, Well, tell me a resume, you have a degree.
00:15:28.769 --> 00:15:31.410
It's like, oh yeah, I went to Grand Canyon University.
00:15:31.410 --> 00:15:34.850
I'm like, who in Grand Canyon University can you speak to?
00:15:34.850 --> 00:15:49.170
And it's like peeling back the layers until they finally realize, oh, you know, I did have a professor who offered to stay in contact, and we actually connected on LinkedIn, but I've never exhausted that uh relationship.
00:15:49.170 --> 00:15:50.690
Like, why not?
00:15:50.690 --> 00:15:58.610
Like they are there, they're professionals, they offered it to you, and some of them they look at the degree.
00:15:58.610 --> 00:16:01.410
Well, that was just um ends to a means.
00:16:01.410 --> 00:16:02.850
I'm like, no, no, no, no.
00:16:02.850 --> 00:16:09.810
Getting your degree is part of the journey of building the relationships for a lifetime.
00:16:09.810 --> 00:16:16.930
And if a professor wants you to stay connected, you owe it to yourself uh to keep that relationship growing.
00:16:17.250 --> 00:16:17.649
Right.
00:16:17.649 --> 00:16:19.410
Doesn't happen every time.
00:16:19.410 --> 00:16:26.450
So yes, I would say, yeah, from it for those that are listening that are in the military or getting ready to transition out.
00:16:26.450 --> 00:16:27.970
Yes, yeah, definitely.
00:16:27.970 --> 00:16:38.530
You're you're uh giving them wise counsel because uh yeah, go back to those contacts and those professors and just say, Do you remember me when I was in this class?
00:16:38.530 --> 00:16:48.129
Yeah, keep keep records of them, you know, and and you know, because I have some students that will say, Do you remember when I had when you were my instructor in this class and this class?
00:16:48.129 --> 00:16:53.490
And I'm like, Yes, I do remember that, but you have to recall their memory because they're not always going to remember.
00:16:53.490 --> 00:16:59.889
I've taught, you know, 60 something classes, so it's gonna be hard to remember that many students.
00:16:59.889 --> 00:17:04.690
So yeah, so it's good to be able to recall their memory on that.
00:17:04.690 --> 00:17:17.250
So um, so I would, yeah, it's always good to keep records of things and just kind of know, you know, what you did where and and all of that, because it really helps to go back to that at some point as well.
00:17:17.250 --> 00:17:18.529
Yeah, that's great.
00:17:18.529 --> 00:17:19.410
I love that.
00:17:19.410 --> 00:17:28.930
Yeah, and I love how you how you are connecting with those that um and giving them coaching, you know, when they're coming out of a military career, because that can be challenging, right?
00:17:28.930 --> 00:17:35.009
To to come out of that military career and then go into civilian career and make that transition.
00:17:35.009 --> 00:17:38.930
So that's great that you're helping them to make that a little bit easier.
00:17:38.930 --> 00:17:41.490
So it's not as much of a bumpy ride for them.
00:17:41.490 --> 00:17:45.169
Yes, yeah, that's great.
00:17:45.169 --> 00:17:49.889
So I wanted to do a quick bonus question, and we can spend some time on this one.
00:17:49.889 --> 00:17:52.689
This one's really great too, because I love these bonus questions.
00:17:52.689 --> 00:18:03.569
Um, given your experience leading in high-pressure environments like in the military, right, and in government, what is one leadership lesson you learned under pressure that still shapes how you coach others today?
00:18:04.129 --> 00:18:05.809
Hmm, very good question.
00:18:06.449 --> 00:18:07.089
Yes.
00:18:07.970 --> 00:18:22.769
So I'm looking at this one earlier, uh, I would say, I kind of narrow it down, that one leadership lesson that I learned, wow, especially under pressure, that shapes how I coach others and helping them.
00:18:22.769 --> 00:18:35.649
Uh I would definitely say it's the fact of them realizing that uh everything that they need, uh they already have it inside of them.
00:18:35.649 --> 00:18:41.250
Uh they just need to match that skill with the current situation.
00:18:41.250 --> 00:19:01.490
I was on so many trips, uh, especially supporting a president or vice president, where this didn't work well, or this equipment went bad, or this situation changed on us in a minute, or this phone line got cut accidentally at the airport before the plane showed up.
00:19:01.490 --> 00:19:10.129
And I always reminded everybody when I get enough more equipment, when I get more bodies, and we're not gonna get more time, right?
00:19:10.129 --> 00:19:13.009
Everything we have to figure this out is right in the circle.
00:19:13.009 --> 00:19:16.369
So let's start thinking outside of the box.
00:19:16.369 --> 00:19:17.089
Right?
00:19:17.089 --> 00:19:21.569
And I challenge those individuals, you know, what what are you really good at?
00:19:21.569 --> 00:19:25.250
And then somebody may say, you know, I I love reading.
00:19:25.250 --> 00:19:31.329
I'm
like, okay, so where did you read about if a phone line got snapped or cut?
00:19:31.329 --> 00:19:33.009
Like, what are some other options?
00:19:33.009 --> 00:19:40.049
Like, and instead of being pressured um toward people, Jackie, like, hurry up, figure this out.
00:19:40.049 --> 00:19:42.209
We only got 30 minutes, right?
00:19:42.209 --> 00:19:48.609
All that does is make people feel even more uncomfortable, they're unsettled, they can't think.
00:19:48.609 --> 00:19:54.449
Um, but when you remain calm and they're like, Daryl, the phone line just got cut.
00:19:54.449 --> 00:19:56.769
Like, oh, that's unfortunate.
00:19:56.769 --> 00:19:59.889
Okay, so now that it's cut, what are our options?
00:19:59.889 --> 00:20:09.970
And what I found, it's almost like when you have children, Jackie, the first time they fall down, they look at you, and if you're hysterical, they're gonna get hysterical.
00:20:09.970 --> 00:20:13.569
But if you're calm, then they're gonna stay calm.
00:20:13.569 --> 00:20:21.329
And that was the leadership style that I used a lot when something crazy happened, like a phone line getting cut accidentally before the plane arrived.
00:20:21.329 --> 00:20:23.569
It's like, okay, it's cut, right?
00:20:23.569 --> 00:20:26.209
We still have about 30 minutes.
00:20:26.209 --> 00:20:28.209
Whatever, what are our options?
00:20:28.209 --> 00:20:39.970
And what I found is when you do that with people, instead of making them nervous, you're basically empowering them to, hey, let's figure this out together.
00:20:39.970 --> 00:20:49.809
I don't know the answer, you don't know the answer, but I'm almost positive together we can come up with some option that's gonna at least get us to a plan B.
00:20:49.809 --> 00:20:54.449
And every time, I can tell you, Jackie, they never let me down.
00:20:54.449 --> 00:20:59.889
They always came through and said, Well, you know, we could try this or we could do that.
00:20:59.889 --> 00:21:05.730
And then once they come up with that answer, I would say, Okay, what's your part in this solution?
00:21:05.730 --> 00:21:10.289
And then what do you need me to do to help you be successful?
00:21:10.289 --> 00:21:20.689
And they'll say something like, Well, we probably need to call the next trip site or the next uh location where he's gonna go after he leaves the airport.
00:21:20.689 --> 00:21:24.449
And I'll say, Okay, I'll make that call, but you take care of the other part.
00:21:24.449 --> 00:21:27.409
And we always figured it out together.
00:21:27.409 --> 00:21:32.929
And I would always remind them, like, hey, that was a crazy situation that we went through, right?
00:21:32.929 --> 00:21:36.609
Let's make sure we pass that on when we do our trip report.
00:21:36.609 --> 00:21:40.769
Like, if this happens, here's some options you can do to fix it.
00:21:40.769 --> 00:21:44.529
But Jackie, I would always remind those individuals when the trip was over.
00:21:44.529 --> 00:21:48.529
It's like, hey, you
help be a part of that solution.
00:21:48.529 --> 00:21:53.009
It wasn't me as a trip lead or the trip officer, right?
00:21:53.009 --> 00:21:57.009
It was all of us working together as a team.
00:21:57.009 --> 00:22:09.009
So I may not be with you on your next trip, but if something happens that's crazy, you can still use those same techniques that we use, and that's how we get better as an organization.
00:22:09.009 --> 00:22:15.649
That's how our culture grows, and we all become troubleshooters instead of Darrell keeping all the answers to himself.
00:22:15.649 --> 00:22:18.609
Like that doesn't do anything for the organization.
00:22:18.609 --> 00:22:23.970
I want to duplicate that process and then let everybody know you don't have to be Daryl to do that.
00:22:24.289 --> 00:22:24.689
Right.
00:22:24.689 --> 00:22:25.490
I love that.
00:22:25.490 --> 00:22:27.970
That's a great story, too, that you shared.
00:22:27.970 --> 00:22:34.209
Uh yeah, it's I think you know, it's great because people learn through storytelling and and examples.
00:22:34.209 --> 00:22:36.849
So being able to imagine that and oh my goodness.
00:22:36.849 --> 00:22:42.769
Yeah, I can imagine being in the air and all of a sudden that happens and people want to panic right away, right?
00:22:42.769 --> 00:22:46.769
It's but keeping your nervous system regulated, I think, is so important.
00:22:46.769 --> 00:22:53.730
You probably learned that, I'm sure you learned that in the military, the importance of keeping yourself calm and giving yourself those deep breaths.
00:22:53.730 --> 00:23:01.169
And and so you were able to help people come back to that center and say, okay, let's just stay calm.
00:23:01.169 --> 00:23:02.689
What's the next best thing?
00:23:02.689 --> 00:23:15.250
Because it's true when when you're under pressure and you're you can't think you can't think as straight as you would, you know, if you're calm and regulated and able to think through those ideas and solutions better.
00:23:15.250 --> 00:23:15.649
Yeah.
00:23:15.970 --> 00:23:16.209
Yeah.
00:23:16.209 --> 00:23:25.809
And then sometimes um leaders make the mistake when they're talking to people and they'll say, Well, everybody's gonna get butterflies, you just need to get rid of them.
00:23:25.809 --> 00:23:31.569
The reality in my life that I've learned is butterflies don't go away.
00:23:31.569 --> 00:23:35.970
It's just a part of that nervous system that causes a reaction.
00:23:35.970 --> 00:23:41.009
So instead, what I tell people, Jackie, is hey, the butterflies aren't going anywhere.
00:23:41.009 --> 00:23:47.809
So how about just for that next hour or that next 45 minutes that you have to do, what it is you need to do?
00:23:47.809 --> 00:23:55.569
Just work out a compromise with the butterflies and ask them, hey guys, just for this next 45 minutes, can we just walk in the same direction?
00:23:55.569 --> 00:23:57.649
Can we just stay in formation?
00:23:57.649 --> 00:24:02.129
And then after those 45 minutes, you can go to whatever direction you want to go in.
00:24:02.129 --> 00:24:06.929
But for this time, let's walk together, let's go in the same formation.
00:24:07.250 --> 00:24:08.049
I love that.
00:24:08.049 --> 00:24:10.049
Wow, I'll have to try that now.
00:24:10.049 --> 00:24:13.730
Because yeah, you do no matter how many times you speak, right?
00:24:13.730 --> 00:24:19.490
You still get the little butterflies in your stomach, that little nervousness, like, oh, can I do this?
00:24:19.490 --> 00:24:21.730
And can I do it in front of 80 people?
00:24:21.730 --> 00:24:22.049
Right.
00:24:22.049 --> 00:24:24.049
So yeah, exactly.
00:24:24.049 --> 00:24:29.409
So I I find that the the breaths, uh, the breathing techniques really helps, you know.
00:24:29.409 --> 00:24:34.449
Uh is it four breaths in and then hold for two and out six, I think is what it is.
00:24:34.449 --> 00:24:36.049
And they teach it in the military too.
00:24:36.049 --> 00:24:37.730
So yeah, yeah.
00:24:37.730 --> 00:24:44.209
Because you have to be able to be able to keep yourself regulated under those high pressure situations, right?
00:24:44.209 --> 00:24:45.569
So that's important.
00:24:45.569 --> 00:24:46.529
Absolutely.
00:24:46.529 --> 00:24:47.889
Yes, I love that.
00:24:47.889 --> 00:25:00.369
So, Gerald, as we close, what's one final piece of encouragement or advice you would leave with educators and instructional designers like myself who want to lead with greater purpose, confidence, and impact in their lives?
00:25:01.569 --> 00:25:02.769
Very good question.
00:25:02.769 --> 00:25:06.289
And again, this can go across industries.
00:25:06.289 --> 00:25:14.209
Um, people that have come back and talked to me about things that they've overcome and they actually testify that this does work.
00:25:14.209 --> 00:25:17.730
It's not easy, but I'm telling you it works.
00:25:17.730 --> 00:25:22.529
And that is get comfortable, being uncomfortable.
00:25:22.529 --> 00:25:26.929
Again, get comfortable, being uncomfortable.
00:25:26.929 --> 00:25:34.929
Um, most leadership growth happens um when we are challenged or pushed out of our comfort zone.
00:25:34.929 --> 00:25:54.049
If you even look back over the years and look at all the areas where you really grew and those moments that you grew, I'm almost sure 90% of those times were situations where you did not want to be involved, you did not want to be a part of it, you didn't ask for it, it was thrown upon you.
00:25:54.049 --> 00:25:55.409
But guess what?
00:25:55.409 --> 00:25:58.929
Being uncomfortable, you figured it out.
00:25:58.929 --> 00:26:06.849
I don't care how long it took you, I don't care how many people you had to go talk to, um, you found a way to get through that uncomfortableness.
00:26:06.849 --> 00:26:19.730
And what's good about that process is it forces you to utilize gifts and talents um that are inside of you, but a lot of time they're just dormant, right, until they are
truly needed.
00:26:19.730 --> 00:26:25.250
And most of the time those skills come up during high pressure situations.
00:26:25.250 --> 00:26:31.329
Um a lot of people look back over to the military and say, No, why did they call them in for this natural disaster?
00:26:31.329 --> 00:26:33.329
Or why did they call them in to do this?
00:26:33.329 --> 00:26:35.569
Are they really trained to do that?
00:26:35.569 --> 00:26:41.329
Sometimes they're not, but they trust their training, right?
00:26:41.329 --> 00:26:47.329
They trust their team and they trust the fact that we're here to take care of others.
00:26:47.329 --> 00:26:57.569
So as long as that's our true north, it's gotta be a better way of doing it, so we're gonna figure that out because you know we're serving others instead of ourselves.
00:26:57.569 --> 00:27:04.929
And so a lot of times in the military, again, we get very comfortable being uncomfortable.
00:27:04.929 --> 00:27:08.129
Uh a lot of people say, Oh, that's easy for you, you're in the military.
00:27:08.129 --> 00:27:09.169
I don't care.
00:27:09.169 --> 00:27:11.649
Every time I have to speak, I still get uncomfortable.
00:27:11.649 --> 00:27:14.689
It's not an easy thing to do.
00:27:14.689 --> 00:27:24.129
But when you realize, hey, what I have to say is gonna help this audience, then again, I take the reflection off of me and put it back on someone else.
00:27:24.449 --> 00:27:25.730
Hmm, that's great.
00:27:25.730 --> 00:27:26.689
I love that.
00:27:26.689 --> 00:27:29.250
Yeah, get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
00:27:29.250 --> 00:27:29.970
I love that.
00:27:29.970 --> 00:27:40.529
Yeah, because so many of us today, and I I think I used to think it this way too, Darrell, is that I thought, I don't want to get myself into a weird situation or uncomfortable situation.
00:27:40.529 --> 00:27:41.409
But it's true.
00:27:41.409 --> 00:27:47.490
You if you're just comfortable all the time, that's not where you learn and grow, stretch and stretch yourself, right?
00:27:47.490 --> 00:27:58.369
So I think you learn through those hard situations or those uncomfortable situations where you're like, hmm, this was not the best feeling to have, but uh but it passes, right?
00:27:58.369 --> 00:28:00.529
It's not something that is there forever.
00:28:00.529 --> 00:28:03.649
It's you you get over that and get past that.
00:28:03.649 --> 00:28:08.929
So, and then you can look back on it and learn from it at the very end of that, right?
00:28:09.089 --> 00:28:13.089
So absolutely no, and you think about it, those are the best stories that we tell.
00:28:13.089 --> 00:28:24.849
Because I don't care what conference you go to, what um alumni gathering you go to, one of the first things you say is, remember that time when we had to come up with that new curriculum and they didn't give us a lot of time.
00:28:24.849 --> 00:28:26.849
How in the world did we do that?
00:28:26.849 --> 00:28:30.049
Like those are the stories that come up
immediately.
00:28:30.449 --> 00:28:31.649
Right, exactly.
00:28:31.649 --> 00:28:32.609
I love that.
00:28:32.609 --> 00:28:50.369
Yes, I you know, and even earlier this summer, I was really busy working on a bunch of curriculum and some programs, and we went all the way through, worked on the program, and then the college was like, nope, we got to put this on hold for a little bit because it was a new type of program that we hadn't worked on before.
00:28:50.369 --> 00:28:54.929
And the Department of Education, we knew it was going to take time for them to approve it.
00:28:54.929 --> 00:28:57.089
So we had to halt it, put it on hold.
00:28:57.089 --> 00:28:59.970
And uh at first I was like, that's a setback.
00:28:59.970 --> 00:29:00.449
Oh no.
00:29:00.449 --> 00:29:03.730
But then I thought, no, it'll it'll work out in good time.
00:29:03.730 --> 00:29:09.490
And what's funny is that I just heard from the assistant dean earlier today in a meeting, and she's like, guess what?
00:29:09.490 --> 00:29:15.889
Since we don't have to have approval for department through department of education anymore, we can now get that program through.
00:29:15.889 --> 00:29:17.169
I'm like, great.
00:29:17.169 --> 00:29:21.649
So all that work that we did now it's you know, it's come to fruition.
00:29:21.649 --> 00:29:23.089
So you just never know.
00:29:23.089 --> 00:29:29.329
Sometimes you can be in a really tough spot where you're like, oh, did that is that work gonna really mean anything?
00:29:29.329 --> 00:29:31.730
But yeah, it ended up, you know, helping us.
00:29:31.730 --> 00:29:36.049
Now we don't have to go and do that program and we can just put it right through.
00:29:36.049 --> 00:29:37.009
So it's great.
00:29:38.049 --> 00:29:38.289
That's all.
00:29:38.689 --> 00:29:43.649
Yeah, that's neat when you when you have those situations and you're like, okay, the work wasn't all in vain.
00:29:43.649 --> 00:29:45.089
It was well worth it.
00:29:45.089 --> 00:29:46.209
For sure.
00:29:46.209 --> 00:29:47.329
Definitely.
00:29:47.329 --> 00:29:48.129
Great.
00:29:48.129 --> 00:29:57.250
Well, thank you so much, uh, Jarell, for your time and for coming into the podcast today and sharing your uh thoughtful and encouraging insight with my listeners.
00:29:57.250 --> 00:30:02.129
I know they'll take away a lot from your perspective on leadership purpose and personal growth.
00:30:02.129 --> 00:30:08.529
For anyone that wants to keep learning from you and and keep in touch with you, what's the best way to follow you or connect?
00:30:09.409 --> 00:30:09.809
Sure.
00:30:09.809 --> 00:30:14.369
Um, they can uh look me up through Alliance Seminars Coaching.
00:30:14.369 --> 00:30:16.689
Um though they're still on Facebook, right?
00:30:16.689 --> 00:30:18.129
You can find me there.
00:30:18.129 --> 00:30:22.689
Um, but obviously most people are on Instagram, so you can find me there as well.
00:30:22.689 --> 00:30:27.730
And then our website is alliance seminarscoaching.org.
00:30:27.730 --> 00:30:32.849
Um again, just trying to make myself a resource for others.
00:30:32.849 --> 00:30:39.889
Uh, I just feel like you know, it'd be a shame to have all these different ideas and experience and not share with others.
00:30:39.889 --> 00:30:48.449
So everybody that knows me, know me as a connector, someone that tries to put you in the room with the right people that can at least help you or guide you.
00:30:48.769 --> 00:30:49.409
I love that.
00:30:49.409 --> 00:30:49.970
That's great.
00:30:49.970 --> 00:30:51.970
Networking is so important today.
00:30:51.970 --> 00:30:53.809
Yeah, so that's that's wonderful.
00:30:53.809 --> 00:30:57.169
And I when I checked out your website, I was like, wow, this is great.
00:30:57.169 --> 00:31:00.689
I love it because you you really do help people connect.
00:31:00.689 --> 00:31:06.129
And and like you said earlier, no matter what industry it's in, they can they can have that connection.
00:31:06.129 --> 00:31:13.169
And it doesn't have to just be uh a certain certain discipline or certain area, but it can be all all across the board.
00:31:13.169 --> 00:31:14.209
So that's great.
00:31:14.209 --> 00:31:15.329
I love that.
00:31:15.329 --> 00:31:15.889
Great.
00:31:15.889 --> 00:31:17.649
Well, thank you, Daryl, uh, Darrell.
00:31:17.649 --> 00:31:20.289
I look forward to having you back on the show anytime.
00:31:20.289 --> 00:31:21.970
And I know we'll stay connected.
00:31:21.970 --> 00:31:24.369
We're on LinkedIn together, uh, connected that way.
00:31:24.369 --> 00:31:30.289
So I look forward to keeping the connection going and um and and having you back on the show anytime.
00:31:30.289 --> 00:31:36.529
If there's anything that you wanted to touch more on with leadership and coaching, uh feel free to come back on.
00:31:36.529 --> 00:31:37.649
You're welcome anytime.
00:31:38.049 --> 00:31:38.769
No, thank you.
00:31:38.769 --> 00:31:50.369
And feel free to reach out to me if you come across any type of topics or trends that you feel that I can be assistance to instructional designers or those educational leaders.
00:31:50.369 --> 00:31:53.009
Um, please don't hesitate to contact me.
00:31:53.409 --> 00:31:53.649
Great.
00:31:53.649 --> 00:31:54.689
Thank you, Geral.
00:31:54.689 --> 00:31:55.490
I appreciate it.
00:31:55.490 --> 00:31:56.609
Or appreciate your time.
00:31:56.609 --> 00:31:58.689
Thank you.
00:31:58.689 --> 00:32:04.129
Thank you for taking some time to listen to this podcast episode today.
00:32:04.129 --> 00:32:06.369
Your support means the world to me.
00:32:06.369 --> 00:32:15.169
If you'd like to help keep the podcast going, you can share it with a friend or colleague, leave a heartfelt review, or offer a monetary contribution.
00:32:15.169 --> 00:32:20.929
Every act of support, big or small, makes a difference, and I'm truly thankful for you.