บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ Will Ferrell

00:03:41.830 This is the first time I've heard my own speaking voice. 84 00:03:41.990 --> 00:03:43.530 And you're loving it. It's horrible. 85 00:03:44.699 --> 00:03:47.180 Perfect. I sound like an irate woman. 86 00:03:47.379 --> 00:03:49.919 You have a good voice. Don't sell yourself short. 87 00:03:49.939 --> 00:03:51.780 I don't love my voice. I want to say, I 88 00:03:51.819 --> 00:03:53.810 want to start it with this. I don't think you 89 00:03:53.830 --> 00:03:55.889 should be here. I think it was a mistake. You 90 00:03:55.909 --> 00:03:58.449 are too big a star to come in. You have 91 00:03:58.569 --> 00:04:00.889 lowered yourself to be here. This was a mistake. 92 00:04:00.990 --> 00:04:04.039 I am just focusing on the sound blankets taped to 93 00:04:04.060 --> 00:04:04.819 the walls here. 94 00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:08.069 Mm-hmm. This is the room where they shot Joe Pesci 95 00:04:08.110 --> 00:04:08.770 in Goodfellas. 96 00:04:09.169 --> 00:04:10.349 Where they've stenciled Conan. 97 00:04:10.469 --> 00:04:15.300 Yeah. It does. It really does look like we're preparing 98 00:04:15.340 --> 00:04:15.900 for a murder. 99 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:17.779 This is crazy. 100 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:19.579 What's with your management? I told you when I saw you. 101 00:04:19.600 --> 00:04:19.740 Yeah. 102 00:04:24.310 --> 00:04:25.389 You grabbed me by the shoulders. 103 00:04:25.410 --> 00:04:26.910 And I said, I will not do your podcast. 104 00:04:26.949 --> 00:04:29.209 You said that. And you said it was the conviction 105 00:04:29.329 --> 00:04:31.670 of a man whose legs were on fire. And I thought, 106 00:04:31.709 --> 00:04:33.990 he's telling the truth. You went, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. 107 00:04:34.009 --> 00:04:36.149 It's all right. Yeah, yeah. And I respected you for 108 00:04:36.170 --> 00:04:40.069 that decision. You're Will Ferrell. You've made over four movies. 109 00:04:41.129 --> 00:04:45.110 Over four movies in Jamaica alone. 110 00:04:45.410 --> 00:04:45.649 Yes. 111 00:04:46.009 --> 00:04:46.230 Yeah. 112 00:04:46.529 --> 00:04:47.290 We'll get back to that. 113 00:04:47.389 --> 00:04:47.689 Okay. 114 00:04:47.860 --> 00:04:50.720 I know your management, Mr. Jimmy Miller. Right. I think 115 00:04:50.740 --> 00:04:53.139 he made a mistake. I don't think you should be here. 116 00:04:53.980 --> 00:04:54.720 Well, I'm here. 117 00:04:54.839 --> 00:04:56.240 This was an easy pass for you. 118 00:04:57.480 --> 00:04:58.759 I can pass right now. 119 00:04:59.220 --> 00:04:59.480 You could. 120 00:04:59.500 --> 00:05:01.360 And we can just cut this thing in half. 121 00:05:01.660 --> 00:05:01.939 Yeah. 122 00:05:02.060 --> 00:05:02.980 Or not even in half. 123 00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:04.100 Yeah. But you're here. 124 00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:06.139 God, I want to walk out this door right now. 125 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:08.680 Listen, you can't. The door's been sealed. 126 00:05:08.740 --> 00:05:09.600 Oh, my God. It has. 127 00:05:09.660

--> 00:05:10.500 They've welded it. 128 00:05:10.540 --> 00:05:11.579 They're sealing it right now. 129 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:15.500 They have welding duct tape and extra Fernie blankets. So 130 00:05:15.550 --> 00:05:18.089 just a couple, not very recently. You never know when 131 00:05:18.110 --> 00:05:19.850 these things air. So I'm just going to say very recently. 132 00:05:19.870 --> 00:05:19.949 Yeah. 133 00:05:20.500 --> 00:05:22.360 I shared the stage with you at the Greek Theater, 134 00:05:22.379 --> 00:05:25.300 and you were Ron Burgundy. Right. You were– when you 135 00:05:25.339 --> 00:05:28.769 become Ron Burgundy, you do things that no one else 136 00:05:28.850 --> 00:05:32.810 in comedy can do. I was stood backstage, and you, 137 00:05:32.930 --> 00:05:36.009 as Ron, started to talk about– for any other comedian, 138 00:05:36.029 --> 00:05:38.610 it would be an aside. You just mentioned, we're here 139 00:05:38.649 --> 00:05:40.620 at the Greek. It's nice. We're nestled in the hills 140 00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:41.500 here in Hollywood. 141 00:05:41.720 --> 00:05:41.839 Right. 142 00:05:41.860 --> 00:05:44.680 Now some wolves– You started to talk about wolves being 143 00:05:44.699 --> 00:05:47.500 in the hills. And I watched as you talked about 144 00:05:47.620 --> 00:05:48.860 wolves coming out of the hills. 145 00:05:48.899 --> 00:05:49.339 Coyotes. 146 00:05:49.459 --> 00:05:49.899 Coyotes. 147 00:05:49.959 --> 00:05:50.459 Coyotes. 148 00:05:50.839 --> 00:05:54.899 For maybe 15 minutes. And you wouldn't let it go. 149 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:59.290 And it was hilarious. You went at least 14 minutes 150 00:05:59.550 --> 00:06:03.790 longer than any other human would ever go on about coyotes. 151 00:06:03.930 --> 00:06:09.949 Yeah. There is something about doing Ron Burgundy because he's 152 00:06:09.970 --> 00:06:12.879 an expert on everything in his own mind. And it's 153 00:06:12.939 --> 00:06:15.220 great if the audience is laughing, obviously. 154 00:06:15.259 --> 00:06:16.819 They were laughing very hard, yeah. 155 00:06:17.060 --> 00:06:19.240 But it's even better when they're not because I just 156 00:06:19.300 --> 00:06:22.180 love to punish them. And just, they can't go anywhere. 157 00:06:22.500 --> 00:06:24.399 And Ron just has a captive audience. 158 00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:27.300 Well, it's nice because it's not you in that moment. You, 159 00:06:27.660 --> 00:06:30.480 Will is somewhere else. Ron is on stage. 160 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:33.680 I was also just screaming names of communities at them. 161 00:06:33.939 --> 00:06:34.240 Yes. 162 00:06:34.259 --> 00:06:36.500 Because if you've been to the Greek theater, for those 163 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:40.459 listeners at home, it's up in the Los Feliz area, 164 00:06:40.490 --> 00:06:44.240 Griffith Park area. And so I kept referencing the communities 165 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:46.779 down in San Diego because I'd driven, I'd rented a 166 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:52.360

car to drive to the Greek theater. But I kept saying, 167 00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:56.569 I had a list of like 15 communities which are 168 00:06:56.750 --> 00:06:59.810 foreign to the LA audience. But I just like, anyone 169 00:06:59.870 --> 00:07:04.810 from Rancho Panasquitas here tonight? And there'd just be like 170 00:07:04.889 --> 00:07:06.500 a smattering of applause. 171 00:07:06.509 --> 00:07:06.829 Yeah. 172 00:07:08.019 --> 00:07:15.350 I want to hear you in cantata. But somehow they 173 00:07:15.410 --> 00:07:17.589 came with me on it, and I just kept, yeah. 174 00:07:17.649 --> 00:07:20.500 Well, then you started talking about how on your drive up, 175 00:07:21.189 --> 00:07:25.139 you're on the 101, but then you get on the 134, 176 00:07:25.139 --> 00:07:27.959 so you switch to the 5. To the 710. To 177 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:29.360 the 710, and again. 178 00:07:29.379 --> 00:07:34.110 I kept saying, stay with me. Stay with me. Stay 179 00:07:34.120 --> 00:07:34.740 with me. 180 00:07:35.110 --> 00:07:38.629 But what I loved as a longtime admirer of yours, 181 00:07:39.209 --> 00:07:40.750 I get to ask this a lot. People say, who 182 00:07:40.790 --> 00:07:44.410 makes you laugh the hardest? And I consistently say Will 183 00:07:44.490 --> 00:07:49.860 Ferrell because he doesn't care. He goes down these deep, 184 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:53.019 deep wells. He does not care if you're coming with 185 00:07:53.079 --> 00:07:56.279 him or not. And you follow him out of fascination. 186 00:07:56.300 --> 00:07:58.959 And I don't know where that comes from. You have– 187 00:07:59.500 --> 00:08:02.339 You have dead shark eyes and you are. 188 00:08:02.360 --> 00:08:04.319 I think it's that thing, you know, and it happened 189 00:08:04.819 --> 00:08:09.269 on my audition for Saturday Night Live. You know, they 190 00:08:09.290 --> 00:08:11.189 do it different every year, as you know, but that 191 00:08:11.250 --> 00:08:13.310 year that I did it, everyone had to do it 192 00:08:13.389 --> 00:08:17.509 in 8H and it was, there's no audience and there's 193 00:08:17.550 --> 00:08:22.069 just a camera and someone holding a boom mic and 194 00:08:22.269 --> 00:08:25.339 just the glow of Lorne Michaels cigarette as he smokes it. 195 00:08:25.410 --> 00:08:25.490 No. 196 00:08:26.230 --> 00:08:28.290 But he doesn't smoke. In the darkness. 197 00:08:28.649 --> 00:08:32.940 No, but you're literally alone. Yes. And it's so intimidating 198 00:08:33.080 --> 00:08:36.480 and so awful that I was like, oh, it can't 199 00:08:36.539 --> 00:08:40.240 get any worse than this. So I'll just try to 200 00:08:40.679 --> 00:08:44.860 relish the moment. So that same, I've kind of just 201 00:08:45.019 --> 00:08:46.559 followed that practice. 202 00:08:46.759 --> 00:08:49.220 You've always done that. I remember early on when you 203 00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:51.879 were on China Live and you were not, you did 204 00:08:51.919 --> 00:08:54.679 well right away, but you had-

Sort of. Sort of, 205 00:08:54.710 --> 00:08:56.009 but you- I. 206 00:08:55.870 --> 00:08:58.549 Was announced the most annoying newcomer. 207 00:08:58.710 --> 00:08:59.360 Were you really? 208 00:08:59.750 --> 00:08:59.980 Yes. 209 00:09:00.519 --> 00:09:02.519 Sherry O'Terry was like the outbreak star. 210 00:09:02.659 --> 00:09:02.899 Yeah. 211 00:09:03.019 --> 00:09:05.620 And then Will Ferrell, most annoying newcomer. 212 00:09:05.799 --> 00:09:06.399 Yeah. Okay. 213 00:09:06.419 --> 00:09:09.340 There's one guy not to watch. This guy won't shut up. 214 00:09:09.460 --> 00:09:09.639 Yeah. 215 00:09:09.779 --> 00:09:11.200 But you have forgotten about that. 216 00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:15.230 Oh, I say it in my prayers every night. 217 00:09:16.269 --> 00:09:19.360 So I remember- That I was doing the late night 218 00:09:19.399 --> 00:09:21.100 show on the sixth floor. 219 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:22.210 Because when did you start? 220 00:09:22.250 --> 00:09:24.330 You started in- 93. Yeah. What year did you start? 95. 221 00:09:24.330 --> 00:09:24.509 Okay. 222 00:09:24.690 --> 00:09:28.409 Yeah. So right around the time my show is sort 223 00:09:28.470 --> 00:09:30.409 of starting to gel and get up and running, it 224 00:09:30.429 --> 00:09:33.450 took us about two years to figure out what the 225 00:09:33.509 --> 00:09:37.409 hell we were doing. Right. But I remembered a guy 226 00:09:37.450 --> 00:09:41.120 who worked on our show also hung out at Star 227 00:09:41.159 --> 00:09:43.740 Not Live and he was talking about you. Okay. And 228 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:48.549 he said, there's this guy, Will Ferrell- And he's really funny, 229 00:09:48.669 --> 00:09:50.649 but he does these things. And I don't know if 230 00:09:50.690 --> 00:09:53.570 he's kidding or not, or if he's crazy. And I said, 231 00:09:53.610 --> 00:09:56.539 what do you mean? And he said, tell me if 232 00:09:56.580 --> 00:09:58.220 this is true. This is what I heard at the time. 233 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:01.840 And I'm pretty sure it's not lore. He told me that, no, 234 00:10:01.860 --> 00:10:04.639 this guy will, this kid will. The last sketch that 235 00:10:04.659 --> 00:10:08.200 he was in on Saturday Night Live, he had to 236 00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:10.460 be dressed in a certain costume. 237 00:10:10.679 --> 00:10:11.710 Oh, the Jerry Reed outfit. 238 00:10:11.850 --> 00:10:15.090 Yes, like a full-on country music star outfit. 239 00:10:15.110 --> 00:10:15.250 Mm-hmm. 240 00:10:15.730 --> 00:10:18.720 And he wore it to the after party, which Saturday 241 00:10:18.740 --> 00:10:21.759 Night Live always has, and then continued to wear it 242 00:10:21.879 --> 00:10:22.460 for weeks. 243 00:10:23.139 --> 00:10:26.200 Well, not only for weeks, for the whole entire second 244 00:10:26.220 --> 00:10:26.799 half of the season. 245 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:27.159 Yes. 246 00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:27.480 Yes. 247 00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:30.220 And I had a friend of mine, then people started 248 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:33.049 to tell me, I kept thinking he's going to drop it. 249 00:10:33.240 --> 00:10:35.970 So then weeks later, someone would say, I was at 250 00:10:36.009 --> 00:10:42.279 the Natural History Museum and I saw... Will Ferrell walking 251 00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:46.220 down the street in his country western costume. 252 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:48.870 I'll describe the outfit to you. Wrangler jeans. 253 00:10:48.899 --> 00:10:49.179 Yeah. 254 00:10:49.379 --> 00:10:54.370 Like 1970s Nike track shoes. Western shirt with a down 255 00:10:54.409 --> 00:10:55.990 vest and a trucker's cap. 256 00:10:56.009 --> 00:10:56.570 Trucker's cap. 257 00:10:56.610 --> 00:10:58.029 And I was playing Jerry Reed. 258 00:10:58.210 --> 00:11:00.610 Yep. From the Smoking the Bandit movie. From the Smoking 259 00:11:00.750 --> 00:11:01.250 the Bandit. 260 00:11:01.340 --> 00:11:04.090 Great musician. In a sketch. That for some reason, you 261 00:11:04.129 --> 00:11:06.169 remember how the shooting days when at SNL, we had 262 00:11:06.190 --> 00:11:08.210 a pre-tape, but we shot part of it in the 263 00:11:08.250 --> 00:11:09.690 first part of the day and we weren't shooting the 264 00:11:09.730 --> 00:11:11.549 second part till the next. So I decided I'm just 265 00:11:11.570 --> 00:11:13.450 going to hang out my Jerry Reed costume all day 266 00:11:13.470 --> 00:11:17.169 during rehearsal and whatever. But then I decided to wear 267 00:11:17.190 --> 00:11:20.149 it to the after party. Then I wear it to 268 00:11:20.169 --> 00:11:22.389 the pitch meeting the following Monday. And then it was 269 00:11:22.409 --> 00:11:25.049 this writer, Tom Giannis, who was like, because it was 270 00:11:25.090 --> 00:11:28.230 a run of three shows. He's like, please wear it 271 00:11:28.409 --> 00:11:30.710 for the next show too. So I started wearing it 272 00:11:31.250 --> 00:11:33.779 show week number two. Then show week number three. And 273 00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:36.110 I thought, okay, this was funny enough. And it was 274 00:11:36.149 --> 00:11:38.789 Tom was like, please wear it for the rest of 275 00:11:38.830 --> 00:11:42.629 the year. It'll be so inspirational. And I'm like, you're right, Tom. 276 00:11:42.669 --> 00:11:45.070 I have to do this. I don't know why. 277 00:11:45.090 --> 00:11:46.070 This is what separates you. 278 00:11:46.090 --> 00:11:47.860 I don't know why this was a badge of honor. 279 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:48.220 Yeah. 280 00:11:48.340 --> 00:11:52.059 So I'm like, there's no reason not to. And it 281 00:11:52.120 --> 00:11:56.080 became this beautiful comedy litmus test. And it would get 282 00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:59.220 funnier and funnier and funnier to people. Other people would 283 00:11:59.240 --> 00:12:01.799 be like, there are other people who are more, of 284 00:12:01.840 --> 00:12:04.720 the staff would be like, would you stop? What's wrong 285 00:12:04.759 --> 00:12:05.159 with you? 286 00:12:05.299 -->

00:12:05.500 Right. 287 00:12:05.519 --> 00:12:07.960 Don't, now I didn't wear it consecutively. I would launder 288 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:08.940 it on occasion. 289 00:12:09.059 --> 00:12:09.259 Yeah. 290 00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:11.960 But for the most part, I wore it from February 291 00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:12.419 to May. 292 00:12:12.500 --> 00:12:13.500 Yes. Yeah. 293 00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.860 And at one point I had, Alec Baldwin was hosting 294 00:12:17.179 --> 00:12:21.480 and he said, are those your normal clothes? Is this 295 00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:26.580 an outfit you normally wear? And I go, I go, 296 00:12:26.620 --> 00:12:29.230 I don't know how to explain this to you. But no, 297 00:12:29.269 --> 00:12:31.610 this is like a long running joke. 298 00:12:31.629 --> 00:12:33.470 He's like, good, because it's not a good look for you. 299 00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:37.960 And I could see him with those eyes, those piercing eyes. 300 00:12:37.980 --> 00:12:42.220 And he was giving me like brotherly advice. And I go, oh, no, 301 00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:46.840 I know it's not. But once again, that became a 302 00:12:46.860 --> 00:12:50.700 thing where, oh, I got to keep wearing it. And yeah, 303 00:12:50.779 --> 00:12:54.100 finished out the year wearing the Jerry Reid outfit. 304 00:12:54.139 --> 00:12:56.600 You also did something that no one's ever done before, 305 00:12:56.960 --> 00:13:01.100 which I loved. Again, I'm doing my show. 306 00:13:01.700 --> 00:13:04.179 I love, I'm trying to remember what it will be. 307 00:13:04.259 --> 00:13:05.960 I'll tell you. Yes. I think you will remember. Okay. 308 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:08.299 I'm doing my show down on late night and at 309 00:13:08.320 --> 00:13:09.840 the late night show. And again, we're just a couple 310 00:13:09.860 --> 00:13:10.379 of floors away. 311 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:11.639 Yeah, you guys are on the sixth floor. 312 00:13:11.779 --> 00:13:18.269 Sixth floor. And so you came to us and you said, 313 00:13:18.289 --> 00:13:20.429 I have a funny idea and I don't think they 314 00:13:20.450 --> 00:13:22.070 like it starting out live, but I could do it 315 00:13:22.129 --> 00:13:26.870 on your show. And we said, sure. And we're doing 316 00:13:26.909 --> 00:13:30.460 an hour a night. Yeah. And so- You played a 317 00:13:30.519 --> 00:13:33.059 character called Scrub-a-Dub. Oh, no. 318 00:13:33.100 --> 00:13:36.389 This was written by Adam McKay. 319 00:13:36.409 --> 00:13:39.070 It was written by Adam McKay, the great Adam McKay. 320 00:13:39.690 --> 00:13:41.929 But you played Scrub-a-Dub. 321 00:13:42.009 --> 00:13:42.190 Right. 322 00:13:42.289 --> 00:13:44.429 And Adam McKay wrote it. And so you guys came 323 00:13:44.470 --> 00:13:46.750 to us, it was both of you, and said, can 324 00:13:46.769 --> 00:13:47.960 we do it on your show? And we were like, 325 00:13:48.659 --> 00:13:52.039 you know, it was someone saying, do you want a Bugatti? Yes. Yes, 326 00:13:52.080 -->

00:13:52.779 we want a Bugatti. 327 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:52.870 Yes. 328 00:13:53.190 --> 00:13:56.110 You guys came and Scrub-A-Dub, it's hard to describe, but 329 00:13:56.169 --> 00:13:57.570 he's like a Mr. Clean. 330 00:13:57.610 --> 00:13:58.909 Obnoxious Mr. 331 00:13:58.950 --> 00:14:01.789 Clean. He's an obnoxious Mr. Clean who's out of control. Yeah. 332 00:14:02.129 --> 00:14:04.379 And it was a sketch where we're going to have 333 00:14:04.409 --> 00:14:05.940 a website soon where you can look up all the 334 00:14:05.980 --> 00:14:07.759 old stuff in high resolution. 335 00:14:07.860 --> 00:14:09.840 But it was kind of like a running ad throughout 336 00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:10.220 your show. 337 00:14:10.279 --> 00:14:11.220 It was a running ad. 338 00:14:11.720 --> 00:14:12.259 Live ad. 339 00:14:12.379 --> 00:14:15.340 You kept interrupting and I would move on. You'd say, 340 00:14:15.379 --> 00:14:17.379 I'm Scrub-A-Dub. And you were, I think you were bald 341 00:14:17.419 --> 00:14:18.590 and you had. 342 00:14:18.389 --> 00:14:19.389 A muscular Mr. 343 00:14:19.450 --> 00:14:22.720 Clean outfit. Yep. And then I would say, okay, well, 344 00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:24.679 that's great, scrub-a-dub. And I would move on. And then 345 00:14:24.710 --> 00:14:26.870 you'd be in the corner and you'd be playing craps 346 00:14:27.850 --> 00:14:30.750 with dice. And you'd be yelling, come on, come on, 347 00:14:30.830 --> 00:14:35.190 luck be my leader tonight, scrub-a-dub. And you kept, it 348 00:14:35.230 --> 00:14:37.330 got violent. It got out of control. 349 00:14:37.370 --> 00:14:39.509 At one point of spray painting on the set. You 350 00:14:39.549 --> 00:14:43.549 were spray painting and you kept interrupting. So here's the 351 00:14:43.590 --> 00:14:47.159 great thing about it. No one had told Lorne. No 352 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:48.559 one had asked Lorne's permission. 353 00:14:48.580 --> 00:14:49.620 Because we didn't know. 354 00:14:49.799 --> 00:14:52.120 We didn't know anything. We're all kids. We're all kids. 355 00:14:52.179 --> 00:14:53.740 And we're all just doing, well, this is funny. They 356 00:14:53.759 --> 00:14:54.820 wouldn't do it on Saturday Night Live, so we'll do 357 00:14:54.840 --> 00:14:54.980 it here. 358 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:55.639 We'll just bring it out. 359 00:14:55.659 --> 00:14:59.350 So the next thing, we get this call from Lorne. 360 00:14:59.720 --> 00:15:02.950 Who's executive producing our show? But he doesn't know that 361 00:15:03.289 --> 00:15:04.909 we just get this call, which is like, you know, 362 00:15:05.230 --> 00:15:08.610 if you're going to use my people, would you let me? 363 00:15:08.850 --> 00:15:10.250 And I think you got a talking to. 364 00:15:10.289 --> 00:15:11.250 Yeah, I did too. 365 00:15:11.470 --> 00:15:14.129 You got a talking to, and I think Adam McKay 366 00:15:14.169 --> 00:15:16.940 got a talking to. 367 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:18.159 . 368 00:15:18.059

--> 00:15:20.720 But we were just completely like, well, oh, they don't 369 00:15:20.740 --> 00:15:22.399 want to use it here. Let's just, well, let's call 370 00:15:22.419 --> 00:15:23.759 up Conan and his guys. 371 00:15:24.059 --> 00:15:27.889 And that started this thing where... The most consistent thing 372 00:15:27.929 --> 00:15:32.090 I hear from fans is that your appearances were always 373 00:15:32.490 --> 00:15:40.139 these conceptual thought pieces, comedy pieces where you would commit 374 00:15:40.340 --> 00:15:43.240 and your commitment would make me commit. I would never 375 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:44.419 say this is a bit. 376 00:15:44.779 --> 00:15:45.179 Right. 377 00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:50.100 So there's the time you, through very complicated pre-tapes, you 378 00:15:50.220 --> 00:15:51.120 heckled yourself. 379 00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:54.320 Playing a guy with a mustache and a Michael Jackson. 380 00:15:53.970 --> 00:15:56.490 Glove yeah and a Michael Jackson jacket jacket that was 381 00:15:56.509 --> 00:15:59.110 too small so you came out to try stand-up Will 382 00:15:59.149 --> 00:16:02.409 Ferrell and then we cut to you with a mustache 383 00:16:04.570 --> 00:16:08.080 heckling myself and then the heckling gets between the two 384 00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:09.500 of you and you say hey I'm just trying to 385 00:16:09.539 --> 00:16:11.720 do something here and then you as yourself being a 386 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:16.460 total dick and you kept kept wiping the mustache with 387 00:16:16.500 --> 00:16:19.799 your finger And gesturing to it and being a total prick. 388 00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:22.960 And then you charged yourself and everyone in the audience 389 00:16:22.980 --> 00:16:24.840 was like, well, how's this going to happen? Because the 390 00:16:24.860 --> 00:16:26.639 guy in the audience is a pre-tape. Oh, that's right. 391 00:16:26.730 --> 00:16:29.159 How are you two going to interface? And then we 392 00:16:29.230 --> 00:16:31.850 cut to, you insisted on a body double who was 393 00:16:31.889 --> 00:16:36.590 a little person. I forgot that. In a Michael Jackson jacket. Right. 394 00:16:36.669 --> 00:16:38.450 Who tackles you. Yes. 395 00:16:38.490 --> 00:16:39.659 And beats me up. 396 00:16:39.730 --> 00:16:42.269 And beats you up. It doesn't match you in any way. 397 00:16:42.289 --> 00:16:45.120 Yes, in any way, shape or form. Thank God. for 398 00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:49.159 your late night show, because that was like, that was 399 00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:53.220 like comedy heaven where I knew there were other talk 400 00:16:53.240 --> 00:16:56.490 shows that were, you know, very lovely to do. However, 401 00:16:56.809 --> 00:16:59.250 they had their set rules as to what they were 402 00:16:59.289 --> 00:17:01.659 comfortable doing. And you guys were always like, let's do it. 403 00:17:01.850 --> 00:17:04.210 Let's try it. Yeah. There was, there was one where you. 404 00:17:04.329 --> 00:17:07.619 We had the drum off where I wanted to show 405 00:17:07.630 --> 00:17:12.890 off my drumming against a nine-year-old kid. Who was a 406 00:17:13.130 --> 00:17:14.130 nine or, he was like 11. 407 00:17:14.109 --> 00:17:15.269 He was like 11, yeah. 408 00:17:15.410 --> 00:17:17.630 But a really good drummer. And I can't play and 409 00:17:17.670 --> 00:17:20.230 he blows me away and I chase him off the set. 410 00:17:20.710 --> 00:17:20.930 Yeah. 411 00:17:21.650 --> 00:17:25.299 I mean, that was, I was once doing Charlie Rose 412 00:17:25.859 --> 00:17:28.279 and he was asking about doing late night TV and 413 00:17:28.299 --> 00:17:32.140 all the talk shows. And I literally started going down, 414 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:35.660 like just unabashedly going, oh, this one's fun. You know, 415 00:17:35.849 --> 00:17:39.269 you know, always doing Letterman. It's such a cool thing, but. 416 00:17:39.750 --> 00:17:43.970 But hands down, Conan is the best. And Charlie Rose went, careful, careful. 417 00:17:43.990 --> 00:17:46.849 Like he didn't want me to play favorites in any way, 418 00:17:46.890 --> 00:17:49.660 but I'm like, I mean, he's the, and I saw 419 00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:51.599 what he was, he was trying to not let me 420 00:17:51.660 --> 00:17:53.700 put my foot in my mouth, but no, you guys. 421 00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:55.539 I think time has proven that his judgment was best. 422 00:17:55.579 --> 00:17:56.240 Yes, right. 423 00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:58.609 You know, we have to do it. We have to 424 00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:00.650 take a quick break. We'll be right back. 425 00:18:06.390 --> 00:18:09.190 And now it's time for a segment called Conan O'Brien 426 00:18:09.230 --> 00:18:11.230 pays off the mortgage on his beach house. 427 00:18:11.750 --> 00:18:14.670 Yeah, we've been over this before, but I took a 428 00:18:14.750 --> 00:18:17.609 pretty large mortgage and then I borrowed against the mortgage 429 00:18:18.009 --> 00:18:20.990 and then I took another mortgage. Financially, not the smartest move. 430 00:18:21.309 --> 00:18:23.349 That sounds like a lot of bad decisions. 431 00:18:23.690 --> 00:18:28.789 Yeah, but if it's enabled me to read ads, then 432 00:18:28.809 --> 00:18:31.599 maybe it's led me to My True Calling Online. Don't 433 00:18:31.619 --> 00:18:31.890 you think? 434 00:18:32.119 --> 00:18:34.599 You think ad reading is your true calling? 435 00:18:34.740 --> 00:18:36.839 It might be the only thing I do well. Okay. 436 00:18:36.859 --> 00:18:37.299 I've decided. 437 00:18:37.539 --> 00:18:39.460 Did you hear about the Murphys down the road? 438 00:18:39.779 --> 00:18:42.599 I did. And with the Walshes, too, of all people. 439 00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:44.480 I heard the Flims were at it as well. 440 00:18:44.740 --> 00:18:45.079 No. 441 00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:45.720 Switchers. 442 00:18:45.960 --> 00:18:46.539 The lot of them. 443 00:18:46.900 --> 00:18:49.339 You know, it might not be a bad idea. 444 00:18:49.779 --> 00:18:50.059 Really?

445 00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:52.839 I heard they all got a brilliant deal and saved 446 00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:57.079 hundreds of euros switching their energy with Switcher.ie. Happy days. 447 00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:58.720 Maybe we should join them. 448 00:18:59.200 --> 00:18:59.319 Hmm. 449 00:18:59.869 --> 00:19:03.390 See if you can save on your energy at switcher.ie. 450 00:19:03.849 --> 00:19:04.190 Switch. 451 00:19:04.730 --> 00:19:05.130 Save. 452 00:19:05.619 --> 00:19:06.380 Happy days. 453 00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:11.319 And then we're back. 454 00:19:11.460 --> 00:19:12.000 Just like that. 455 00:19:12.019 --> 00:19:13.019 Yeah, we did nothing. 456 00:19:13.059 --> 00:19:13.779 That was a good break. 457 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:16.680 Your level of commitment was what we were talking about. 458 00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:18.859 And I tell people that. 459 00:19:18.900 --> 00:19:19.920 Wait, back, sorry. 460 00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:20.279 Yeah. 461 00:19:20.519 --> 00:19:21.500 Back to Ron Burgundy. 462 00:19:21.599 --> 00:19:21.809 Yes. 463 00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:23.069 At this live charity show. 464 00:19:23.180 --> 00:19:23.609 Yeah. 465 00:19:23.849 --> 00:19:27.809 I didn't even tell you about this component because... Jerry 466 00:19:27.849 --> 00:19:30.329 Seinfeld was doing standup as part of our show. And 467 00:19:30.369 --> 00:19:33.660 I ran into his longtime manager, uh, George Shapiro. 468 00:19:33.740 --> 00:19:34.200 Yeah. 469 00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:37.960 And he has very set rules as to how Jerry 470 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:41.119 likes to be introduced and doesn't want a lot of, uh, 471 00:19:41.180 --> 00:19:42.920 they just want ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Seinfeld, and he 472 00:19:42.940 --> 00:19:44.950 has to have a stool and, you know, yeah every 473 00:19:44.990 --> 00:19:47.279 comedian has their particular things that they they want a 474 00:19:47.299 --> 00:19:50.960 certain way and so he was like uh he was 475 00:19:51.019 --> 00:19:54.160 like hey will yeah ron burgundy i love it's gonna 476 00:19:54.279 --> 00:19:56.000 and you know keep it short and i was like 477 00:19:56.039 --> 00:19:57.670 well you got to tell that to ron burgundy ha 478 00:19:57.710 --> 00:19:59.650 ha ha and then i could tell it made his 479 00:19:59.730 --> 00:20:02.170 head spin in such a way because i knew we 480 00:20:02.210 --> 00:20:05.349 had this crazy intro for jerry as ron that yeah 481 00:20:05.369 --> 00:20:07.710 yeah um And luckily, Jerry thought it. 482 00:20:07.710 --> 00:20:10.150 Was really fun. I was backstage because we had just 483 00:20:10.250 --> 00:20:14.549 finished our bit. I'm standing backstage when Jerry is about 484 00:20:14.569 --> 00:20:14.849 to go on. 485 00:20:14.849 --> 00:20:15.569 Yes, yes. 486 00:20:15.670 --> 00:20:18.230 And so I was standing here because I'm just, you know, 487 00:20:18.349 --> 00:20:22.579 interested to see. The transition. The transition. And, you know, 488 00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:24.460 the crowd excited about Conan and then just sort of 489 00:20:24.500 --> 00:20:27.180 having to settle down for Jerry. Yeah. You know. Well, 490 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:28.960 Jerry was brought in to cool it off a little 491 00:20:29.019 --> 00:20:30.779 bit after Conan, which is generally his role. 492 00:20:30.900 --> 00:20:32.019 Well, we shut the show down. 493 00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:32.359 Yeah. 494 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:33.259 To cool it down. 495 00:20:33.380 --> 00:20:33.559 Yeah. 496 00:20:33.619 --> 00:20:34.420 Yeah. Anyway. 497 00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:39.619 Anyway. So Jerry comes in and, you know, crowds filing out. 498 00:20:39.720 --> 00:20:41.599 I'm told he's not that powerful in the business. I'm 499 00:20:41.619 --> 00:20:42.380 just going to go after him. 500 00:20:42.440 --> 00:20:43.009 He's not. 501 00:20:43.369 --> 00:20:43.720 He can't. 502 00:20:43.869 --> 00:20:44.789 He can't hurt you. 503 00:20:44.890 --> 00:20:45.390 Yeah, he can't. 504 00:20:45.809 --> 00:20:47.190 He can hurt a lot of people. He can't hurt you. 505 00:20:47.309 --> 00:20:49.170 No, no, no. I'm in a very small room. Not 506 00:20:49.190 --> 00:20:49.730 the man. 507 00:20:49.750 --> 00:20:52.450 Not the main man. Protected by his ferny blankets. 508 00:20:54.250 --> 00:20:57.150 So, but yeah, you go on and on and on 509 00:20:57.190 --> 00:21:00.019 and you start listing his credits, which includes you've seen 510 00:21:00.059 --> 00:21:03.839 him on the Arsenio Hall show. This is for Jerry Seinfeld. 511 00:21:04.660 --> 00:21:10.700 You know him from Arsenio Hall, the Magic Johnson talk show. 512 00:21:11.259 --> 00:21:16.099 You know him from the Seinfeld show reruns. You listed 513 00:21:16.119 --> 00:21:19.000 the local affiliate. Yeah. Anyway, he was backstage and he 514 00:21:19.039 --> 00:21:22.160 was howling, which was, he was really laughing. 515 00:21:22.309 --> 00:21:24.150 He wrote me a really nice, yeah, he said he 516 00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:27.210 had a great time. And I'm like, thanks for indulging 517 00:21:27.289 --> 00:21:30.059 Ron with the long. He's like, oh yeah, I loved it. 518 00:21:30.150 --> 00:21:30.910 But anyway. 519 00:21:31.390 --> 00:21:32.750 You and I have something in common. 520 00:21:32.769 --> 00:21:34.839 We both sort of. We share the same birthday. 521 00:21:35.130 --> 00:21:36.940 No, we don't. No. No, we don't. 522 00:21:36.960 --> 00:21:37.420 Sorry, go ahead. 523 00:21:37.579 --> 00:21:39.359 I got excited for a second, but I've never seen 524 00:21:39.380 --> 00:21:41.059 you at Denny's for the free cake on the day 525 00:21:41.099 --> 00:21:41.460 I'm there. 526 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:44.940 You're always there at Denny's, right? For the free cake? 527 00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:46.359 When I can get a free cake. 528 00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:47.180 Forget it. 529 00:21:48.289 --> 00:21:49.809 I was in the Groundlings. Right. I was in the 530 00:21:49.849 --> 00:21:51.210 Groundlings before you.

531 00:21:51.269 --> 00:21:53.569 You were a contemporary of Lisa Kudrow's. 532 00:21:53.890 --> 00:21:54.789 Lisa Kudrow. 533 00:21:54.990 --> 00:21:56.690 Or shall I say she was of you. 534 00:21:56.730 --> 00:21:56.890 Yeah. 535 00:22:00.410 --> 00:22:04.619 That means nothing. So you start by taking the classes. 536 00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:04.960 Yes. 537 00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:07.160 That's what happens at the Groundlings here in Los Angeles. 538 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:08.319 You take the classes. 539 00:22:08.700 --> 00:22:12.259 They have really cool names. Beginning, Intermediate, and Advanced. 540 00:22:13.079 --> 00:22:15.690 So what I've always thought was hilarious was Lisa was 541 00:22:16.049 --> 00:22:18.569 so historically funny. And some people have sometimes thought they 542 00:22:18.609 --> 00:22:21.190 sometimes make people repeat at the Groundlings just to get, 543 00:22:21.529 --> 00:22:25.470 you know, make a little more money. Uh-huh. You know? So, yeah. 544 00:22:25.980 --> 00:22:27.980 There was– Lisa was just hilarious. And then they were– 545 00:22:28.000 --> 00:22:29.099 I remember them telling Lisa. 546 00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:29.960 She had to repeat. 547 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:31.940 You should take this class again. 548 00:22:31.960 --> 00:22:32.700 You got to keep working on your job. 549 00:22:32.710 --> 00:22:34.569 You should get again. I just think one more– and 550 00:22:34.589 --> 00:22:36.569 basically it was like, you know, one more round of 551 00:22:36.630 --> 00:22:38.950 payments maybe. Yeah, you'll really. 552 00:22:38.829 --> 00:22:42.490 Improve your comedy chops. That's hilarious. 553 00:22:42.529 --> 00:22:44.990 Yeah. She and I were there at the same time. 554 00:22:45.009 --> 00:22:47.410 I didn't actually ever join the Groundlings because I left 555 00:22:47.450 --> 00:22:49.410 to write at Saturday Night Live, but I did all 556 00:22:49.430 --> 00:22:50.039 the classes. 557 00:22:50.539 --> 00:22:52.210 You went all the way. Did you go to the 558 00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:52.700 Sunday show? 559 00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:54.880 I was about to go to the Sunday show when 560 00:22:54.900 --> 00:22:55.680 I had to leave. 561 00:22:55.740 --> 00:22:56.000 Yeah. 562 00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:57.539 For gainful employment. 563 00:22:57.660 --> 00:23:00.420 For gainful employment. Rather than pay to be on stage, 564 00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:01.680 I was paid. That's what was. 565 00:23:01.579 --> 00:23:04.559 Always so funny to talk to anyone who'd come from 566 00:23:04.619 --> 00:23:06.759 Second City in Chicago. They were like, how much do 567 00:23:06.779 --> 00:23:08.700 you make at the Groundlings? I'm like, No, you had 568 00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:10.539 to pay to perform there. Yeah. 569 00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:10.799 Yeah. 570 00:23:10.940 --> 00:23:12.339 And then when you were on the main stage, you 571 00:23:12.440 --> 00:23:15.019 finally didn't have to pay. I didn't make any money. 572 00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:18.220 No, they, I think the key is that Second City, 573 00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:21.410 I think they serve drinks and they serve food and 574 00:23:21.430 --> 00:23:22.970 you can buy t-shirts in the lobby. 575 00:23:23.009 --> 00:23:23.809 You can actually. 576 00:23:24.069 --> 00:23:25.549 The Groundlings never cracked that. 577 00:23:25.569 --> 00:23:26.529 No, no. 578 00:23:26.769 --> 00:23:30.250 But I did that. And I remember hearing about you 579 00:23:30.710 --> 00:23:33.519 later on. I remember hearing about you at the Groundlings 580 00:23:33.579 --> 00:23:36.720 as this incredibly funny guy. My sister. Right, right, right. 581 00:23:36.900 --> 00:23:39.140 Jane was at the ground. And she said there's this– 582 00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:42.890 she would rave about you. And I said from the– 583 00:23:42.980 --> 00:23:45.559 Thanks to Jane. Yeah. Yeah. I said from the sound 584 00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:47.319 of it, he doesn't have it is what I said 585 00:23:47.339 --> 00:23:49.180 at the time. I was very defensive. 586 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:49.990 So, yeah. 587 00:23:50.170 --> 00:23:50.769 And competitive. 588 00:23:51.250 --> 00:23:52.529 Without even knowing me. 589 00:23:52.730 --> 00:23:55.170 All I heard was someone else is funny. And I said, 590 00:23:55.250 --> 00:23:57.130 doesn't sound funny to me. She hadn't even given an 591 00:23:57.190 --> 00:23:59.509 example of how you might be funny. That's all I 592 00:23:59.529 --> 00:24:00.349 needed to know. I shut it down. 593 00:24:00.369 --> 00:24:01.750 I think that says a lot about you. 594 00:24:02.009 --> 00:24:02.630 I don't see that. 595 00:24:02.650 --> 00:24:03.039 Hmm. 596 00:24:03.660 --> 00:24:03.920 All right. 597 00:24:04.140 --> 00:24:07.599 I just am very, I root against other people in comedy. 598 00:24:07.720 --> 00:24:08.460 What does that say about me? 599 00:24:08.529 --> 00:24:10.609 I know. You're an awful human being. 600 00:24:11.470 --> 00:24:11.769 Oh. 601 00:24:12.109 --> 00:24:12.529 Yes. 602 00:24:13.289 --> 00:24:13.410 Oh. 603 00:24:13.730 --> 00:24:14.069 Yeah. 604 00:24:14.210 --> 00:24:18.109 When others succeed in comedy, I'm enraged. Right. Is that 605 00:24:18.170 --> 00:24:18.549 not good? 606 00:24:18.950 --> 00:24:19.829 You need to let that go. 607 00:24:20.549 --> 00:24:24.170 I want you to do worse than you're doing. 608 00:24:24.529 --> 00:24:24.670 Oh. 609 00:24:25.019 --> 00:24:26.539 So I can feel better about me. 610 00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:26.859 Right. 611 00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:27.759 What's wrong with that? 612 00:24:27.859 --> 00:24:29.519 You're not going to get anyone on this podcast, that's 613 00:24:29.559 --> 00:24:33.049 for sure. By the way. My crusade after doing this 614 00:24:33.150 --> 00:24:34.740 is to tell no one else to do it. 615 00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:36.349 You're going to spread that out? 616 00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:38.859 Oh, my God. I'm getting right on the old social media. 617 00:24:39.039 -->

00:24:39.700 Is that what it's called? 618 00:24:39.779 --> 00:24:40.599 It's called the Soch. 619 00:24:41.099 --> 00:24:42.680 Is that what the kids call it? 620 00:24:42.680 --> 00:24:44.509 I should know. I was on Twitter for four days. 621 00:24:45.029 --> 00:24:46.769 And then shut it down. 622 00:24:46.809 --> 00:24:47.640 Did you enjoy it? 623 00:24:48.130 --> 00:24:50.869 I really, I got way too sweaty and nervous. 624 00:24:51.089 --> 00:24:51.289 Yeah. 625 00:24:51.309 --> 00:24:52.009 It was too much pressure. 626 00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:52.549 Yeah. 627 00:24:52.809 --> 00:24:56.430 I don't read anything about. No, no, no. I'm not 628 00:24:56.490 --> 00:25:00.890 interested in anyone's opinion of what I'm doing. Same here. 629 00:25:01.029 --> 00:25:05.259 About my work. Not because I'm thick skinned, because I'm 630 00:25:05.380 --> 00:25:08.140 thin skinned. Totally. And I really don't want to hear 631 00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:11.819 an anonymous person say, who has nothing to lose, say. 632 00:25:12.019 --> 00:25:15.579 Well, all the good reviews that I have been forwarded. 633 00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:21.220 Where's my cough button? Well, next year we'll get enough 634 00:25:21.289 --> 00:25:22.329 budget for a cough button. 635 00:25:22.529 --> 00:25:22.880 Okay. 636 00:25:23.009 --> 00:25:23.710 Jeez Louise. 637 00:25:24.730 --> 00:25:24.829 Oh. 638 00:25:25.250 --> 00:25:27.190 You said. We're going to have to edit this whole part. 639 00:25:27.230 --> 00:25:27.369 I know. 640 00:25:27.390 --> 00:25:28.710 Because this shows you as a human being. 641 00:25:28.730 --> 00:25:32.720 I always get. I don't read anything, reviews or anything, 642 00:25:33.299 --> 00:25:36.809 except for the idol-like. You should read the one, though. 643 00:25:36.950 --> 00:25:41.210 It's a great one. And it inevitably always starts with, 644 00:25:41.470 --> 00:25:45.430 I've never liked this guy. However, he was a pleasant 645 00:25:45.470 --> 00:25:48.210 surprise in his role as the cat burglar. 646 00:25:48.910 --> 00:25:53.740 Sona, what do I read? Nothing. I mean, novels. No, no, no, no. No, 647 00:25:53.779 --> 00:25:56.839 I mean, yeah, novels, but only if they're about me. No. 648 00:25:57.599 --> 00:25:59.039 Do I read any press? 649 00:25:59.740 --> 00:26:02.319 It could be the most glowing review of something you've done. 650 00:26:02.339 --> 00:26:04.859 You won't read it. And the reason, even if it's glowing, 651 00:26:05.309 --> 00:26:06.380 is that what will I find? 652 00:26:06.650 --> 00:26:09.730 If it's good, you'll always find the one. 653 00:26:09.670 --> 00:26:11.269 Line that'll trigger something. No, you'll find the one thing 654 00:26:11.289 --> 00:26:12.809 that makes you go, really? 655 00:26:13.029 --> 00:26:13.369 Yeah. 656 00:26:13.630 --> 00:26:13.910 Yeah. 657 00:26:14.130 --> 00:26:17.930 You know, though saddled with, you know, a horrible lack 658 00:26:17.990 --> 00:26:22.799 of humor... O'Brien's managed to overcome

it. You know, whatever. 659 00:26:22.940 --> 00:26:23.890 And then it goes on to say. 660 00:26:23.900 --> 00:26:27.440 The only time bad reviews are fun is when something 661 00:26:27.480 --> 00:26:30.579 has done really well. You can tell critical masses, you know, 662 00:26:31.380 --> 00:26:34.309 some of the most amazing reviews we ever got were 663 00:26:34.849 --> 00:26:35.569 on Step Brothers. 664 00:26:35.990 --> 00:26:36.210 Yeah. 665 00:26:36.430 --> 00:26:39.529 So we were already feeling like, oh, this is hitting 666 00:26:39.589 --> 00:26:42.990 all the right spots and we've made something good. And 667 00:26:43.029 --> 00:26:45.990 the best one was Roger Ebert. And the review was like, 668 00:26:46.289 --> 00:26:48.609 whatever you do, do not see this movie. 669 00:26:48.809 --> 00:26:49.329 Oh, wow. 670 00:26:49.470 --> 00:26:52.450 Do not tell your friends about it. Do not buy 671 00:26:52.470 --> 00:26:54.210 it when it comes out on DVD. And I think 672 00:26:54.230 --> 00:26:56.829 he literally wrote like, this is like the sign of 673 00:26:56.869 --> 00:27:00.069 the end times that this kind of creative venture is 674 00:27:00.130 --> 00:27:04.019 being supported. It is juvenile asset, like everything. He's just like, 675 00:27:04.819 --> 00:27:08.619 and you just like, why do people, why are they 676 00:27:08.660 --> 00:27:11.180 making this? And it was just old man voice as 677 00:27:11.220 --> 00:27:12.980 you read it. And, uh, and we were like, ah, 678 00:27:13.609 --> 00:27:14.230 It's so nice. 679 00:27:14.259 --> 00:27:16.519 Because you felt secure. Because we felt so good. And 680 00:27:16.539 --> 00:27:17.319 it was so off. 681 00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:19.579 And it was so off, but it was only out 682 00:27:19.619 --> 00:27:21.420 of security could we read them. 683 00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:25.400 I am happy if I've doubled down or committed to something. 684 00:27:25.970 --> 00:27:30.940 You mentioned Tom Giannis. Tom Giannis helped direct a show 685 00:27:30.980 --> 00:27:32.920 in Chicago that I did way back in 1988. You 686 00:27:32.940 --> 00:27:37.119 probably weren't born yet. Oh, with Odenkirk and Smigel. Happy, happy, 687 00:27:37.140 --> 00:27:39.079 good show. We did this stage show in Chicago, and 688 00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:41.369 I used to do a character. I would have Bob 689 00:27:41.410 --> 00:27:44.009 go out and very pompously, Bob Odenkirk would go out 690 00:27:44.029 --> 00:27:46.630 and pompously tell the crowd that thing of Conan through 691 00:27:46.690 --> 00:27:49.690 improv is working on a character, and he is going 692 00:27:49.710 --> 00:27:52.359 to come out now, and he's going to do his character, 693 00:27:52.380 --> 00:27:54.849 and it's a very rich character. and you're to ask 694 00:27:54.890 --> 00:27:57.150 him questions, and we're all going to build the character 695 00:27:57.190 --> 00:27:59.130 some more together. And it was this very, because this 696 00:27:59.170 --> 00:28:02.640 is how, you know, this really pompous thing. And this is, 697 00:28:02.650 --> 00:28:05.809 it's in Chicago, which is the birth, you know, it's improv, 698 00:28:05.849 --> 00:28:08.230 and they're really, and they're going to, and so by 699 00:28:08.490 --> 00:28:12.150 your questions, you'll see Conan on stage add more depth 700 00:28:12.170 --> 00:28:15.559 to his character. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Spoon Eye. 701 00:28:16.099 --> 00:28:18.440 And I came out, and I had a spoon wedged 702 00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:22.190 in my eye, and I talk like a pirate. And 703 00:28:22.210 --> 00:28:24.480 I go, I'm Spoon Eye. I am Spoon Eye. And 704 00:28:24.519 --> 00:28:26.859 people were trying to help me in the crowd. So 705 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:29.880 they would go, questions for me. And we'll build the 706 00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:33.559 character C. Spoon Eye I be. Any questions? And so 707 00:28:34.099 --> 00:28:37.130 these people would say things like, what's your favorite song? 708 00:28:37.569 --> 00:28:42.009 Like a classic song. It has river in it. Like 709 00:28:42.049 --> 00:28:44.730 they want me to go Spoon River instead of Moon River. 710 00:28:44.750 --> 00:28:47.589 And I'd go, I know what you're talking about. The 711 00:28:47.769 --> 00:28:52.289 Spoonie Spoon song. Oh, Spoonie Spoon. And then It was 712 00:28:52.329 --> 00:28:54.410 a total fuck you. And then someone else would say, 713 00:28:54.430 --> 00:28:57.150 what's your favorite way to lie in bed with your girlfriend? 714 00:28:57.410 --> 00:28:59.890 And instead of saying spooning, I'd say on a spoonie 715 00:28:59.930 --> 00:29:04.500 spoon bed. The crowd would become enraged. And this critic 716 00:29:04.759 --> 00:29:06.720 wrote a thing. And he said, I went to this 717 00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:08.700 show and I liked the show. But then Mr. O'Brien 718 00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:11.380 took the stage with his spoon eye character. I saw 719 00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:18.529 him miss opportunity after opportunity. I was so happy. 720 00:29:18.670 --> 00:29:22.119 Kristen Wiig and I did a Lifetime movie. which unfortunately 721 00:29:22.180 --> 00:29:25.069 I need to give lifetime permission to air it more 722 00:29:25.140 --> 00:29:27.089 often because not that many people, but I always had 723 00:29:27.109 --> 00:29:29.789 this idea to take comedy people and do a lifetime 724 00:29:29.829 --> 00:29:32.730 movie straight up. So we did a lifetime movie called 725 00:29:32.769 --> 00:29:36.009 Deadly Adoption and it was amazing. And we played it 726 00:29:36.049 --> 00:29:39.359 totally straight and all the actors had to sign non-disclosure 727 00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:42.200 that they would. And guys on the cast were like, 728 00:29:42.359 --> 00:29:43.839 is this supposed to be funny? I'm like, no, this 729 00:29:43.880 --> 00:29:46.319 is just a change in direction. I just love the script. 730 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:51.809 And so it's the most melodramatic. It's this

amazing kind 731 00:29:51.849 --> 00:29:55.569 of meta thing. Anyway, two reviews. Rolling Stone totally got 732 00:29:55.589 --> 00:29:57.910 what we were doing. But the New York Times television critic, 733 00:29:57.950 --> 00:30:00.930 whoever this was, was like, It just baffled his mind 734 00:30:01.190 --> 00:30:06.190 and said, while Kristen Wiig has proven she is a 735 00:30:06.329 --> 00:30:10.119 dramatic actress, Mr. Farrell, if it's supposed to be funny, 736 00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:15.279 it's not funny. And as an actor, he's terrible. This, 737 00:30:15.779 --> 00:30:18.519 he could not figure out what was going on, which 738 00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:19.440 was bliss. 739 00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:20.460 Absolute bliss. 740 00:30:20.700 --> 00:30:21.009 Yeah. 741 00:30:21.269 --> 00:30:21.450 Yeah. 742 00:30:21.829 --> 00:30:24.269 The only thing I've ever seen that sort of, it's 743 00:30:24.309 --> 00:30:26.950 an analogy. If you've seen the movie The Right Stuff, 744 00:30:27.029 --> 00:30:30.339 there's a moment where. I have not. Okay. Well, this 745 00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:32.940 is awkward. You could have just– it's about astronauts. 746 00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:34.500 I should have let it– just edit me out when 747 00:30:34.539 --> 00:30:36.779 I say have not. But I haven't seen it. Go ahead. 748 00:30:37.259 --> 00:30:39.160 If you keep saying that, we can't edit. We don't 749 00:30:39.299 --> 00:30:40.440 have the budget. 750 00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:41.509 The right stuff. What is it about? 751 00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:43.240 Oh, it's about astronauts. It's about space. 752 00:30:43.509 --> 00:30:43.670 Yes. 753 00:30:44.430 --> 00:30:48.329 But anyway– But I haven't seen it. But there's a 754 00:30:48.349 --> 00:30:51.009 part where they get up into the atmosphere, that part 755 00:30:51.049 --> 00:30:53.380 of the atmosphere that's not yet outer space but not– 756 00:30:53.430 --> 00:30:55.470 and the light gets blue and it gets really weird. 757 00:30:55.950 --> 00:30:59.460 I've always thought in comedy– If you keep pushing something 758 00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:02.839 beyond when it's not funny, you can get to this. 759 00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:06.500 It's funny. Then it's not funny. Then it's really not funny. 760 00:31:06.519 --> 00:31:09.940 Then people are getting a little irritated. If you keep going, 761 00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:11.869 there's this magical blue light. 762 00:31:11.890 --> 00:31:14.509 You can somehow transition into it. 763 00:31:14.569 --> 00:31:17.009 Yeah. And I believe you are the. 764 00:31:17.029 --> 00:31:19.650 It's holding your hand over the flame for a little 765 00:31:19.670 --> 00:31:22.990 while and just seeing how long before it gets really hot. 766 00:31:23.849 --> 00:31:26.230 You also did– I was there when you got your 767 00:31:26.289 --> 00:31:29.990 Mark Twain award. And it was the funniest acceptance speech 768 00:31:30.569 --> 00:31:33.069 I've ever seen anybody give. And then you did this 769

00:31:33.130 --> 00:31:37.809 brilliant thing where you finally– you're holding the Twain award. 770 00:31:37.829 --> 00:31:38.690 You say what you did. 771 00:31:38.789 --> 00:31:43.599 Well, which I was– so I had this idea and 772 00:31:43.660 --> 00:31:47.380 I was so thankful that they said yes without a– 773 00:31:47.579 --> 00:31:49.960 hitch because I was preparing for this battle. 774 00:31:49.980 --> 00:31:51.500 Because it can get stodgy, that event. Right. 775 00:31:51.819 --> 00:31:53.599 And they want to see what your speech is going 776 00:31:53.619 --> 00:31:55.240 to be ahead of time. And I was thinking, oh, 777 00:31:55.359 --> 00:31:59.809 it'd be so funny because you're handed the bust and 778 00:31:59.849 --> 00:32:02.490 it sits on a stool while you give your speech. 779 00:32:03.269 --> 00:32:06.130 And so I thought, God, it'd be great to go 780 00:32:06.150 --> 00:32:09.990 to set it down and just break it, miss the 781 00:32:10.009 --> 00:32:14.779 stool and have it just explode on the stage. 782 00:32:14.819 --> 00:32:15.000 Yeah. 783 00:32:15.369 --> 00:32:19.430 And then just play off of the, oh, geez. And 784 00:32:19.509 --> 00:32:21.339 I was thinking they're going to be like, we can't 785 00:32:21.380 --> 00:32:23.319 do that. The sanctity of the, and I was building 786 00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:27.380 up my whole argument that Mark Twain himself would have 787 00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:29.599 wanted this. And luckily they were like, hilarious. 788 00:32:29.619 --> 00:32:30.140 That's great. 789 00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:33.640 So, yeah. So they allowed me to do it. And 790 00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:38.470 I then just very delicately stacked a crumbled mass onto 791 00:32:38.490 --> 00:32:38.930 the stool. 792 00:32:38.950 --> 00:32:39.019 Yes. 793 00:32:39.539 --> 00:32:43.380 And then read my speech as if I was standing 794 00:32:43.400 --> 00:32:45.980 in front of a perfectly intact Mark Twain award. 795 00:32:46.059 --> 00:32:46.319 Yeah. 796 00:32:46.579 --> 00:32:50.279 But the audience gasp mixed with realizing. 797 00:32:50.509 --> 00:32:50.740 Yes. 798 00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:53.369 That it was all a setup, but it was, it. 799 00:32:53.349 --> 00:32:57.230 Was really fun. And I can assure you the Oscars, 800 00:32:57.670 --> 00:33:01.069 the Emmys, the Grammys, whenever you, when the times I've 801 00:33:01.130 --> 00:33:04.039 done an award show or been around an award show, 802 00:33:04.730 --> 00:33:09.210 They act like their award is the goblet that Christ 803 00:33:09.329 --> 00:33:12.609 drank from in the Last Supper. That's how they act 804 00:33:12.650 --> 00:33:14.849 like it. And if you have a funny idea that involves, 805 00:33:14.869 --> 00:33:16.970 they're like, well, we'd love to help you, but that's 806 00:33:17.049 --> 00:33:17.349 an Emmy. 807 00:33:17.369 --> 00:33:18.150 Here's the thing. 808 00:33:18.329 --> 00:33:21.529 That's an Emmy. Let me get back to you. 809 00:33:24.839 --> 00:33:27.960 So, Conan, we talked. Oh, my God, we love it. However, 810 00:33:28.099 --> 00:33:28.940 is there any way? 811 00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:29.519 Yeah. 812 00:33:29.779 --> 00:33:30.299 My favorite thing ever. 813 00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:31.130 The voice always goes up. 814 00:33:31.450 --> 00:33:34.750 My favorite thing ever was, not my favorite thing ever, 815 00:33:34.789 --> 00:33:36.859 but involving an award show, one of my favorite moments 816 00:33:36.910 --> 00:33:43.839 was I did an NFL honors once. And I thought 817 00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:46.400 really good jokes. Right. The jokes were fine. And then 818 00:33:46.420 --> 00:33:51.289 I had really good slams on the commissioner of football. Perfect. 819 00:33:51.589 --> 00:33:52.109 Roger Goodell. 820 00:33:52.130 --> 00:33:52.670 Roger Goodell. 821 00:33:52.750 --> 00:33:55.210 Yeah. Were you hosting? 822 00:33:55.470 --> 00:33:56.230 I was hosting. 823 00:33:56.269 --> 00:33:56.410 Yeah. 824 00:33:56.980 --> 00:34:03.049 And so he comes in, and he's this very neatly coiffed, 825 00:34:03.269 --> 00:34:03.789 straight talk. 826 00:34:03.809 --> 00:34:04.470 Kind of all business. 827 00:34:04.549 --> 00:34:07.089 All business. And he comes in, but he sees me, 828 00:34:07.130 --> 00:34:09.389 a comedy guy. Sure. He's just like, what the hell, 829 00:34:09.469 --> 00:34:11.750 you rascal. Can't wait for tonight. 830 00:34:11.789 --> 00:34:12.570 Can't wait for tonight. 831 00:34:13.489 --> 00:34:16.070 You see what you're up to, you trickster. And I said, 832 00:34:16.469 --> 00:34:18.030 we have a couple of jokes about you. And he said, 833 00:34:18.070 --> 00:34:19.789 they're going to be fine. They're going to be fine. 834 00:34:19.809 --> 00:34:21.780 Whatever you want to do. And I said, you're sure? 835 00:34:21.800 --> 00:34:23.280 And he said, sure, I'll take a look. But I'm 836 00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:25.289 fine with all of them. I just want you to 837 00:34:25.329 --> 00:34:27.030 be you and have a good time. And I said, well, 838 00:34:27.050 --> 00:34:30.389 thanks a lot, Mr. Goodell. Please call me Roger Goodell. 839 00:34:30.409 --> 00:34:32.090 It's like, okay. And then. 840 00:34:32.110 --> 00:34:32.989 Not Roger. 841 00:34:33.150 --> 00:34:33.489 Roger. 842 00:34:33.510 --> 00:34:35.090 Roger Goodell. Commissioner. 843 00:34:35.130 --> 00:34:39.110 Yeah. Okay. So then he turns and he walks over 844 00:34:39.289 --> 00:34:43.250 about 10 feet from me and he's talking to someone 845 00:34:43.710 --> 00:34:44.550 and the woman. 846 00:34:44.570 --> 00:34:46.250 A person then. 847 00:34:46.269 --> 00:34:48.369 No, a woman comes over and hands him the sheet 848 00:34:48.409 --> 00:34:51.269 of jokes and he reads through the sheet of jokes 849 00:34:51.309 --> 00:34:53.449 and I have like six jokes on him. And then 850 00:34:53.809 --> 00:34:55.909 he hands the sheet back to her and she comes 851 00:34:55.949 --> 00:35:01.579 over and he says, none of those are acceptable. Of course. 852

00:35:01.880 --> 00:35:05.260 Eight seconds had passed since. Oh, you have fun, you minx. 853 00:35:05.659 --> 00:35:08.480 Yeah, that's what the, that for one of those first 854 00:35:08.659 --> 00:35:11.840 ESPY years, SNL was producing the ESPYs. 855 00:35:12.159 --> 00:35:12.860 Who did you mock? 856 00:35:12.900 --> 00:35:16.239 Norm MacDonald. Norm was hosting Radio City and I came 857 00:35:16.280 --> 00:35:17.110 out as Harry Carey. 858 00:35:17.119 --> 00:35:17.550 Yes. 859 00:35:17.659 --> 00:35:19.409 And they just wrote, you know, and we just went 860 00:35:19.429 --> 00:35:20.309 around the room and roasted. 861 00:35:20.329 --> 00:35:23.539 Whose teeth did you go after? You went after someone's teeth. 862 00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:25.460 And I don't know who it was, but you. 863 00:35:26.280 --> 00:35:28.139 A very prominent quarterback at the time. 864 00:35:28.579 --> 00:35:30.320 And you were like, gee, I think I'd have the 865 00:35:30.380 --> 00:35:33.059 money to get his teeth fixed. And they cut to him, 866 00:35:33.280 --> 00:35:36.000 and this makes it... Please find it. It makes it 867 00:35:36.039 --> 00:35:39.110 a thousand times funnier. He is stoning you. 868 00:35:39.219 --> 00:35:39.510 Yes. 869 00:35:41.280 --> 00:35:44.989 And there were other athletes, and it was just Harry 870 00:35:45.030 --> 00:35:47.210 Carey not really knowing who's out there. 871 00:35:47.289 --> 00:35:47.489 And.... 872 00:35:49.030 --> 00:35:51.369 Thinking he was at the Source Awards or something. 873 00:35:51.429 --> 00:35:51.769 I don't know. 874 00:35:51.829 --> 00:35:55.809 And like just anyway, it was apparently it was talked 875 00:35:55.869 --> 00:35:59.070 about in the halls of ESPN for decades later. Like, 876 00:35:59.210 --> 00:36:01.769 let's not have another Will Ferrell, Harry Carey moment. 877 00:36:01.909 --> 00:36:02.110 Yeah. 878 00:36:02.170 --> 00:36:02.349 Yeah. 879 00:36:02.590 --> 00:36:03.409 Their loss, I say. 880 00:36:03.630 --> 00:36:04.449 Yeah, me too. 881 00:36:04.909 --> 00:36:06.550 I don't want to keep you any longer. I know 882 00:36:06.570 --> 00:36:08.289 that you were having facial surgery today. 883 00:36:08.590 --> 00:36:11.889 I am having not only facial surgery, but butt implants. 884 00:36:12.210 --> 00:36:12.650 Finally. 885 00:36:13.210 --> 00:36:13.530 So. 886 00:36:13.809 --> 00:36:14.110 All right. 887 00:36:14.150 --> 00:36:15.909 And it's a big day and I'm doing it myself. 888 00:36:16.590 --> 00:36:17.199 That's a mistake. 889 00:36:17.809 --> 00:36:19.860 No, I can do it. I've got a monitor system. 890 00:36:20.039 --> 00:36:21.820 It'll be easy. You're going to lie on a table. 891 00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:22.460 You're going to lie on a table. 892 00:36:22.500 --> 00:36:23.199 You're going to look at a monitor. 893 00:36:23.219 --> 00:36:23.900 You're acting it out. 894 00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:26.019 Acting it out. I'm acting it out right now. 895 00:36:26.039 --> 00:36:28.300 Okay, that's good on a podcast. Act it out. You're 896 00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:29.130 really good at acting stuff out. 897 00:36:29.139 --> 00:36:30.320 My own butt implants. 898 00:36:30.900 --> 00:36:33.050 I maintain this was a mistake. You shouldn't have been here. 899 00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:34.789 Well, we'll see. 900 00:36:35.070 --> 00:36:35.250 Yeah. 901 00:36:35.570 --> 00:36:36.789 We'll see. 902 00:36:36.849 --> 00:36:37.110 Fine. 903 00:36:37.269 --> 00:36:39.769 You maintain a mistake, and I will make it my 904 00:36:39.869 --> 00:36:44.010 crusade and my life's work to tell people to not 905 00:36:44.070 --> 00:36:44.929 do this podcast. 906 00:36:46.329 --> 00:36:49.579 And you will. I cannot thank you enough, and I 907 00:36:49.619 --> 00:36:52.789 maintain your– there's some funny people on the planet, but 908 00:36:53.170 --> 00:36:55.050 Will Ferrell has them all beat by Country Mile. I 909 00:36:55.090 --> 00:36:55.570 really believe that. 910 00:36:55.590 --> 00:36:55.940 Thank you. 911 00:36:55.960 --> 00:36:59.679 Thank you, Colin. You've done nothing. I'm filled with goodwill 912 00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:02.829 and warmth and good cheer whenever I even think about you. 913 00:37:03.010 --> 00:37:04.750 You've just been such a good guy to me over 914 00:37:04.789 --> 00:37:06.550 the years. And I thank you from the bottom of 915 00:37:06.590 --> 00:37:07.590 my heart. And hilarious. 916 00:37:07.789 --> 00:37:11.670 Thanks so much. Thanks, everyone. Great job, everybody. Great job. 917 00:37:12.070 --> 00:37:13.969 Did you hear about the Murphys down the road? 918 00:37:14.289 --> 00:37:17.110 I did. And with the Walshes, too, of all people. 919 00:37:17.449 --> 00:37:18.989 I heard the Flins were at it as well. 920 00:37:19.280 --> 00:37:19.590 No. 921 00:37:19.800 --> 00:37:20.239 Switchers. 922 00:37:20.469 --> 00:37:21.059 The lot of them. 923 00:37:21.420 --> 00:37:21.679 You know. 924 00:37:22.289 --> 00:37:23.849 It might not be a bad idea. 925 00:37:24.280 --> 00:37:24.570 Really? 926 00:37:24.590 --> 00:37:27.360 I heard they all got a brilliant deal and saved 927 00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:31.599 hundreds of euros switching their energy with Switcher.ie. Happy days. 928 00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:33.239 Maybe we should join them. 929 00:37:34.400 --> 00:37:37.949 See if you can save on your energy at Switcher.ie. 930 00:37:38.369 --> 00:37:38.730 Switch. 931 00:37:39.250 --> 00:37:39.670 Save. 932 00:37:40.150 --> 00:37:40.869 Happy days. 933 00:37:45.320 --> 00:37:47.360 All right, Will, Conan's gone. You said that you felt 934 00:37:47.659 --> 00:37:48.920 awkward about being his friend. 935 00:37:49.019 --> 00:37:50.159 It got a little contentious there. 936 00:37:50.219 --> 00:37:52.119 How do you feel now after talking with him? 937 00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:55.119 I feel so much better. It's the longest conversation we've 938 00:37:55.340 --> 00:38:00.070 ever had. And I got to look into parts of 939 00:38:00.119 --> 00:38:03.130 his

soul that I wasn't able to look into before. Yeah, 940 00:38:03.190 --> 00:38:07.210 I definitely, how do I say it? I don't feel 941 00:38:07.250 --> 00:38:10.449 as awkward. I now just feel slightly nervous. 942 00:38:10.769 --> 00:38:11.590 Do you think it will happen? 943 00:38:12.130 --> 00:38:12.289 What? 944 00:38:12.469 --> 00:38:12.869 Friendship. 945 00:38:13.570 --> 00:38:14.570 Oh, hmm. 946 00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:20.679 That's a real long shot. Look, I'm a pragmatist. And yeah, 947 00:38:20.699 --> 00:38:22.860 if I had to put money on it, no. Thank you. 948 00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:29.489 Yeah. What is this now? What are we doing? 949 00:38:29.510 --> 00:38:33.309 We're going to listen to some questions that fans have 950 00:38:33.329 --> 00:38:33.610 for you. 951 00:38:33.630 --> 00:38:36.090 We're going to actually hear the fans. Yes. You think 952 00:38:36.110 --> 00:38:38.889 they're going to be mean? Yeah. Why? 953 00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:42.000 Because when people don't have to ask you something personally, 954 00:38:42.019 --> 00:38:43.880 they can be mean about it. But I think also 955 00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:44.880 people seem to like you. 956 00:38:44.900 --> 00:38:47.539 This is like being able to hear the internet. Yes. 957 00:38:47.559 --> 00:38:49.449 Do you know what I mean? These people have no 958 00:38:49.570 --> 00:38:53.409 fear of hurting my feelings. This is just scary. Yeah. 959 00:38:53.429 --> 00:38:55.230 This is frightening. But go ahead. Let's do it. I'm 960 00:38:55.289 --> 00:38:56.449 a brave person. You are. 961 00:38:57.969 --> 00:39:00.349 Conan, how do you get your hair to stand up 962 00:39:00.409 --> 00:39:00.849 like that? 963 00:39:00.969 --> 00:39:01.809 I just don't know. 964 00:39:01.829 --> 00:39:03.670 Please tell me your secrets. 965 00:39:05.409 --> 00:39:07.510 That's a good question. And I do get that question 966 00:39:07.530 --> 00:39:10.389 all the time. First of all, it began naturally. I 967 00:39:10.409 --> 00:39:13.059 just noticed that my hair kind of sits up a 968 00:39:13.099 --> 00:39:14.900 little bit and it has spring to it. And this 969 00:39:14.920 --> 00:39:17.519 is like when I was a teenager. Okay. You know, 970 00:39:17.539 --> 00:39:20.719 I was a big fan of rockabilly music and they 971 00:39:20.760 --> 00:39:22.739 really comb their hair up and all that. And so I, 972 00:39:23.260 --> 00:39:25.550 I liked combing my hair up into a big wave 973 00:39:25.570 --> 00:39:28.809 because I realized I could do that. And that, uh, 974 00:39:28.929 --> 00:39:31.110 it created kind of a look and then i was 975 00:39:31.150 --> 00:39:33.590 watching tv one day and this is a long time 976 00:39:33.639 --> 00:39:35.840 ago and there was this actress named victoria principal do 977 00:39:35.860 --> 00:39:38.139 you remember her you're making a confused look she was 978 00:39:38.179 --> 00:39:40.960 on the show dallas oh okay i'm really dating i'm 979 00:39:40.980 --> 00:39:42.480 really dating myself now. 980 00:39:42.679 --> 00:39:45.940 I thought you were 25. 981 00:39:44.579 --> 00:39:47.699 Yeah well until you saw the old ivane but There 982 00:39:47.719 --> 00:39:50.130 was this actress named Victoria Principal, and she did a commercial, 983 00:39:50.190 --> 00:39:52.070 and she gave her hair tip, which she dried her 984 00:39:52.110 --> 00:39:54.090 hair upside down. And then so I thought, I'm going 985 00:39:54.110 --> 00:39:56.670 to try that. So I was actually a teenage boy 986 00:39:57.269 --> 00:40:00.369 taking advice from an actress who was speaking to women. 987 00:40:00.389 --> 00:40:03.170 And I realized I could make my hair stand up 988 00:40:03.550 --> 00:40:06.449 even more to the point where it got ridiculous. And 989 00:40:06.469 --> 00:40:09.110 then it just became this weird habit where sometimes I 990 00:40:09.150 --> 00:40:10.860 would just try to build it up into this big 991 00:40:10.949 --> 00:40:13.250 French pastry that sat on top of my head. I 992 00:40:13.269 --> 00:40:16.150 was actually in Ireland once and this guy was like 993 00:40:16.170 --> 00:40:17.610 standing by the side of the road and I walked 994 00:40:17.650 --> 00:40:19.210 by and he went, good God, what do you feed 995 00:40:19.250 --> 00:40:21.710 that thing pointing to my hair? And now I don't 996 00:40:21.750 --> 00:40:25.349 know how to stop. Now I've become like Big Bird 997 00:40:25.889 --> 00:40:28.739 or Mickey Mouse. I'm supposed to look a specific way. 998 00:40:28.780 --> 00:40:32.039 I made myself a cartoon. I turned myself into an 999 00:40:32.099 --> 00:40:35.480 emoji and people want to see me be that. And 1000 00:40:35.500 --> 00:40:37.179 there are times when my hair is flat and people 1001 00:40:37.219 --> 00:40:40.880 are all upset like I'm a fraud. And then I'm like, okay, 1002 00:40:40.920 --> 00:40:43.090 I'll go fix it. And then I comb it back 1003 00:40:43.150 --> 00:40:45.230 up again and everyone's happy and I get a free latte. 1004 00:40:45.250 --> 00:40:46.710 All right. 1005 00:40:47.449 --> 00:40:47.929 Moving on. 1006 00:40:49.480 --> 00:40:53.079 Hey, Conan, which is your favorite Star Wars movie of 1007 00:40:53.179 --> 00:40:54.019 the prequels? 1008 00:40:54.699 --> 00:40:55.039 Thank you. 1009 00:40:55.059 --> 00:40:58.860 This is Janine from Sacramento. Have a good day. God, 1010 00:40:59.320 --> 00:41:02.619 the prequels are the ones that came. There's the first 1011 00:41:02.679 --> 00:41:04.639 couple that I watched when I was young. 1012 00:41:05.059 --> 00:41:05.340 Yes. 1013 00:41:06.199 --> 00:41:10.289 And then George Lucas made a bunch later on that 1014 00:41:10.550 --> 00:41:11.550 seemed to upset people. 1015 00:41:12.019 --> 00:41:13.079 Right, there was Jar Jar. 1016 00:41:13.559 --> 00:41:14.730 Oh, Jar Jar Binks was in it. 1017 00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:15.070 Yeah. 1018 00:41:15.750 --> 00:41:19.050 Right. There's a lot of those ones where they're sitting 1019 00:41:19.130

--> 00:41:24.150 around talking, and it's very bureaucratic. And it's like Samuel L. Jackson, 1020 00:41:24.190 --> 00:41:24.750 is that right? 1021 00:41:25.010 --> 00:41:26.449 Yeah, Samuel L. Jackson is in it. 1022 00:41:26.469 --> 00:41:29.300 Samuel L. Jackson's in it, and Yoda's there, and a 1023 00:41:29.340 --> 00:41:31.739 bunch of other Leap Glorps and Gloop Gloops are there, 1024 00:41:31.800 --> 00:41:35.099 just weird aliens. And they're saying, it will be brought 1025 00:41:35.139 --> 00:41:38.280 to a vote soon. Yes, it will then go to 1026 00:41:38.300 --> 00:41:41.409 the next chamber of the House of the Elders. What 1027 00:41:41.429 --> 00:41:43.869 do we do then? Difficult it is. 1028 00:41:44.449 --> 00:41:49.380 Maybe we can introduce Bill as alternate with Ryder on it. 1029 00:41:49.639 --> 00:41:52.039 And you're like, why? Why are we getting bogged down? 1030 00:41:52.420 --> 00:41:54.940 The whole thing is like a PTA meeting. And then 1031 00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:58.059 they'll cut to a young Princess Leia and she's sulking. 1032 00:41:58.099 --> 00:42:00.619 And then Ewan McGregor is around doing something. And then 1033 00:42:00.699 --> 00:42:05.250 back to the conference room where they're like, oh, didn't 1034 00:42:05.289 --> 00:42:07.889 go well. This could take months. 1035 00:42:08.489 --> 00:42:13.769 Let's reintroduce Bill. Maybe we get ombudsman to support Bill. 1036 00:42:14.389 --> 00:42:19.739 And then using legislative powers. Am I wrong about that? 1037 00:42:20.139 --> 00:42:23.139 Well, Princess Leia was an enum. I'm so sorry. I 1038 00:42:23.320 --> 00:42:25.059 just needed to make sure you knew that. 1039 00:42:25.119 --> 00:42:26.760 What? Oh, wait. 1040 00:42:26.820 --> 00:42:30.469 You're talking about, is it Queen Amidala or Princess Amidala? 1041 00:42:30.489 --> 00:42:33.690 Can I just say, thank you, Matt. Can I just 1042 00:42:33.710 --> 00:42:36.250 say that I refer to all If they're wearing a 1043 00:42:36.309 --> 00:42:38.690 robe and they're the object of someone's affections in a 1044 00:42:38.730 --> 00:42:41.030 Star Wars, I just call them Princess Leia. That's the 1045 00:42:41.050 --> 00:42:41.710 way I get through it. 1046 00:42:41.730 --> 00:42:43.670 Okay, I'm sure Star Wars fans won't mind. 1047 00:42:43.949 --> 00:42:46.550 She's also a senator, just so we're covering all bases. 1048 00:42:46.570 --> 00:42:50.679 Oh, she's a senator. Great. Okay, well, first of all, suddenly, oh, 1049 00:42:50.699 --> 00:42:52.800 look who came to life over here with Star Wars. 1050 00:42:52.820 --> 00:42:53.619 Someone called my name? 1051 00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:57.940 Yeah. Am I not wrong, Matt, that there's chunks of 1052 00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:02.690 those movies that are bogged down in the legislative affairs... 1053 00:43:02.949 --> 00:43:05.780 of the rebel colony or whatever they're called. 1054 00:43:05.559 --> 00:43:09.300 Literally the imperial senate and the jedi council room which 1055 00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:10.880 is just a round. 1056 00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:13.050 Room yes it's a round room yeah and people are 1057 00:43:13.070 --> 00:43:16.590 bringing in papers and yoda's like looks bad it does 1058 00:43:17.269 --> 00:43:20.309 they use the term trade disputes yeah there are trade 1059 00:43:20.369 --> 00:43:23.320 disputes what a great idea that was the one thing 1060 00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:26.440 that every kid wants to see in their space epic 1061 00:43:27.409 --> 00:43:30.170 Is a bunch of senators talking about a tariff and 1062 00:43:30.210 --> 00:43:32.030 a trade dispute. Do you know what I mean? 1063 00:43:32.050 --> 00:43:32.630 Yeah. 1064 00:43:32.730 --> 00:43:34.889 It really is like they were taking the minutes of 1065 00:43:35.230 --> 00:43:38.130 what happened was George Lucas. He was probably in whatever 1066 00:43:38.170 --> 00:43:41.880 really nice enclave he lives in outside San Francisco. Right. 1067 00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:44.699 And he had to go to the DMV. And someone said, no, 1068 00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:46.579 you got to get in that line and then you 1069 00:43:46.599 --> 00:43:48.699 have to mail it in. And then he and Lucas 1070 00:43:48.739 --> 00:43:52.139 was like, yes, yes. This is what Star Wars needs. 1071 00:43:52.619 --> 00:43:55.079 He was so pissed at the Bush administration that he 1072 00:43:55.139 --> 00:43:58.460 named two of the alien characters, Lot Dodd and Newt 1073 00:43:58.519 --> 00:44:01.380 Gunray after Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott. 1074 00:44:01.460 --> 00:44:03.940 Well, that's the stuff that ages really well in films. 1075 00:44:04.599 --> 00:44:06.800 Can you see a 16 year old kid chuckling at 1076 00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:12.179 the Trent Lott joke? What a mistake. Stay in your lane. 1077 00:44:12.300 --> 00:44:15.119 Don't get it. Don't get so enraged by the right 1078 00:44:15.159 --> 00:44:19.360 that you start warping your creative powers. You know, it, it, 1079 00:44:20.320 --> 00:44:22.179 But anyway, that's what I remember about that movie is 1080 00:44:22.219 --> 00:44:24.320 I watched 20 minutes of it and I think they 1081 00:44:24.340 --> 00:44:29.510 got a bill passed and I was bummed out. 1082 00:44:30.179 --> 00:44:30.449 Okay. 1083 00:44:30.789 --> 00:44:33.150 Next question is about a popular figure on your show. 1084 00:44:33.289 --> 00:44:34.550 So let's play it. 1085 00:44:36.130 --> 00:44:37.429 Tell me about Jordan. 1086 00:44:38.050 --> 00:44:39.989 Is Jordan your favorite person in your staff? 1087 00:44:42.030 --> 00:44:44.750 That's unbelievable. That guy has watched all the Jordan remotes 1088 00:44:45.230 --> 00:44:48.929 and his assumption is that Jordan's my favorite person. Have 1089 00:44:48.949 --> 00:44:51.519 you learned nothing? And some of you are probably listening 1090 00:44:51.539 --> 00:44:54.139 to the podcast and may not know what we're talking about. 1091 00:44:54.159 --> 00:44:57.090 Jordan Schlansky is an associate

producer on the show. And 1092 00:44:57.449 --> 00:44:59.809 I started doing segments with him years ago. And people 1093 00:44:59.849 --> 00:45:04.269 love it because he's such a strange guy. And he 1094 00:45:04.289 --> 00:45:07.769 can be borderline rude to me. Nobody knows what he does. 1095 00:45:08.050 --> 00:45:09.750 And every time I ask him, and this is not 1096 00:45:09.789 --> 00:45:13.590 even a joke, he says, I have various duties and responsibilities. 1097 00:45:14.690 --> 00:45:17.469 And I've asked Jeff Ross, the executive producer. And Jeff's like, 1098 00:45:17.809 --> 00:45:19.750 we do stuff. And I'm like, what does he do? 1099 00:45:20.030 --> 00:45:21.949 He does stuff. So I don't know. I think Jordan 1100 00:45:22.010 --> 00:45:24.739 has something on Jeff. I think Jeff once was in 1101 00:45:24.760 --> 00:45:28.199 his Tesla and backed up over an old lady and 1102 00:45:28.280 --> 00:45:30.639 Jordan saw it. And Jeff was like, just keep this quiet. 1103 00:45:30.840 --> 00:45:33.099 You don't have to do anything. So yeah, I know 1104 00:45:33.159 --> 00:45:36.179 Jordan is not my favorite person. I do think he's 1105 00:45:36.239 --> 00:45:39.110 one of my favorite comedy partners as a person. No. 1106 00:45:40.369 --> 00:45:42.909 he really can be very irritating. Yeah. 1107 00:45:43.090 --> 00:45:46.510 He has good wine recommendations and good restaurant recommendations. 1108 00:45:46.530 --> 00:45:48.469 Yeah. But he'll talk about it for an hour and 1109 00:45:48.469 --> 00:45:51.570 10 minutes. Yeah. He has this manner. You ask him about, well, 1110 00:45:51.590 --> 00:45:53.289 what do you think? What kind of wine should I get? Well, 1111 00:45:53.530 --> 00:45:57.090 traditionally the Malbec, of course, you know, in this region 1112 00:45:57.150 --> 00:45:58.530 because of the earth and you actually, and then he 1113 00:45:58.590 --> 00:46:00.630 goes into this stuff where he says, you can actually 1114 00:46:00.789 --> 00:46:03.809 feel the sunlight in the olive oil. When you taste 1115 00:46:03.829 --> 00:46:07.190 this olive oil, you actually tasting the sunlight, the Tuscan sun, 1116 00:46:07.489 --> 00:46:09.909 and you're tasting the dreams and disappointments of it. And 1117 00:46:09.929 --> 00:46:10.769 you're like, No. 1118 00:46:11.170 --> 00:46:12.929 I mean, a friend of mine asked him about an 1119 00:46:12.989 --> 00:46:15.150 Italian restaurant once, and he goes, well, you can go 1120 00:46:15.170 --> 00:46:17.510 to this one, which is a ristorante, or you can 1121 00:46:17.550 --> 00:46:20.949 go to this one, which is a trattoria. But he's like, 1122 00:46:20.989 --> 00:46:23.849 it's your personal preference. And I didn't even know those 1123 00:46:23.869 --> 00:46:24.769 were two different things. 1124 00:46:24.989 --> 00:46:29.130 I don't think they are. Do they serve food? No, 1125 00:46:29.170 --> 00:46:29.949 he's out of his mind. 1126 00:46:32.869 --> 00:46:36.980 Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Sona Movsesian and Conan 1127 00:46:37.019 --> 00:46:41.880 O'Brien as himself. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced 1128 00:46:41.940 --> 00:46:44.900 by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and 1129 00:46:44.960 --> 00:46:48.280 Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf. Special thanks to 1130 00:46:48.320 --> 00:46:50.659 Jack White and the White Stripes for the theme song. 1131 00:46:51.099 --> 00:46:54.639 Incidental Music by Jimmy Vivino. You can rate and review 1132 00:46:54.679 --> 00:46:57.409 this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your 1133 00:46:57.449 --> 00:47:00.769 review featured on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? 1134 00:47:01.010 --> 00:47:06.750 Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. 1135 00:47:07.130 --> 00:47:09.409 It, too, could be featured on a future episode. 1136 00:47:09.969 --> 00:47:12.829 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien 1137 00:47:12.869 --> 00:47:16.679 Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine 1138 00:47:16.719 --> 00:47:26.940 podcasts are down. This has been a Team Coco production 1139 00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:28.980 in association with Earwolf.