บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ Afraid to Ask, Ashamed to Fight: Breaking the Silence on Special Education

might read the book and think you know what. 00:05:46.161 --> 00:05:56.865 I think I'll try to do this myself, because I give them the book is not, it's not a sales pitch at all, not at all. 00:05:56.865 --> 00:06:02.877 And in fact I list free resources and I tell them go online. 00:06:02.877 --> 00:06:08.129 And I also tell them there's something called a procedural safeguards notice from. 00:06:08.129 --> 00:06:10.990 It's a state guide from ages three through 21. 00:06:11.841 --> 00:06:16.305 And that procedural safeguards notice, pam, is a goldmine. 00:06:16.305 --> 00:06:20.785 It's like to me it's the equivalent of getting a pair of diamond earrings. 00:06:20.785 --> 00:06:29.980 Wow, it really is that you look through it and it will explain to you what your rights are. 00:06:29.980 --> 00:06:30.642 It is not. 00:06:30.642 --> 00:06:31.966 Is it user-friendly? 00:06:31.966 --> 00:06:33.629 Well, I wouldn't call it that. 00:06:33.629 --> 00:06:34.992 You have to sit with it. 00:06:34.992 --> 00:06:39.088 It's not like reading a fun novel, it's not beach reading. 00:06:39.088 --> 00:06:58.350 You have to sit with it and sit with your highlighter, sit with your little post-it notes and underline it, and if you're one of my colleagues had said this if your procedural safeguards notice looks tattered and worn like the dog, ate part of it, that you have made very good use of it. 00:06:58.350 --> 00:07:04.968 If it looks pristine, no, that no, you got to get in there. 00:07:05.007 --> 00:07:12.440 So I think, well, nancy, what's going to happen is people are going to read this book, right, and they're going to go yeah, I think I can do this myself or they're going to quickly go. 00:07:12.440 --> 00:07:22.247 Oh, holy cow, I need to hire an advocate right away because I cannot handle, I can't, and you know, for many reasons, right, but it's a lot. 00:07:22.247 --> 00:07:29.682 People don't understand all the nuances and all the policies and procedures and things that are involved, and it's. 00:07:29.682 --> 00:07:32.110 It's not just this cut and dried, simple process. 00:07:32.110 --> 00:07:48.286 And unless you know what you're supposed to be doing and what rights you have and that your child has, sometimes you just get steamrolled, Right, oh yeah, because they think, well, she doesn't know what she's talking about, we're not going to tell her and then everything's good. 00:07:48.987 --> 00:08:02.607 So there are some cases where maybe a parent could handle it, maybe they do educate themselves, they read that procedure thing and they know what their rights are, but other times they're going to go like, whoa, where's Nancy? 00:08:02.607 --> 00:08:11.444 You know, and the beauty of it is that, for people who heard our last podcast, you can work from, zoom all over the country. 00:08:11.444 --> 00:08:15.492 Yeah, so you don't have to physically be present somewhere. 00:08:15.492 --> 00:08:17.968 That, with the background that you have and the skills and knowledge. 00:08:17.968 --> 00:08:21.629 And let's stop there for a minute for people who didn't listen to our last podcast. 00:08:21.629 --> 00:08:25.305 Tell them a little bit about your background so they understand where you're coming from. 00:08:26.048 --> 00:08:36.892 I am a New York State licensed master level social worker and I went to social work school at Adelphi University, which is a local university. 00:08:36.892 --> 00:08:41.259 I have 11 and a half years working. 00:08:41.259 --> 00:08:45.557 I worked in a special ed preschool as a special education social worker. 00:08:45.557 --> 00:08:57.376 I worked in a community agency as the director of autism services and we had the children on the spectrum. 00:08:57.376 --> 00:08:58.118 We had kind of a. 00:08:58.118 --> 00:08:59.200 We had a mixed group. 00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:14.052 We had children that had very high support needs and would elope they meaning they'd escape from their houses and it was which is really traumatic and we had children with lower support needs. 00:09:17.777 --> 00:09:20.639 But I've worked in different populations as well. 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:40.527 When I was a social work intern I worked in a counseling agency with clients from the criminal justice system, many of whom had gotten DUIs and were mandated to come in for counseling, and I decided I didn't want to stay in that drug alcohol field. 00:09:40.527 --> 00:09:42.269 I just I wanted to switch. 00:09:42.269 --> 00:09:46.379 So I have what you would call a varied background. 00:09:46.379 --> 00:09:56.416 I've also worked in foster care and when I was working this is a long time ago when I was working in foster care, we one of the local cable news stations. 00:09:56.416 --> 00:10:04.642 They wanted to feature the children who were freed for adoption, so there were three nonverbal kids and they were. 00:10:04.642 --> 00:10:09.854 They had been freed for adoption and they needed to interview one of the caseworkers. 00:10:09.854 --> 00:10:11.879 So that's how I got chosen. 00:10:11.879 --> 00:10:14.067 So I still have it. 00:10:14.067 --> 00:10:16.172 I didn't even have cable at the time. 00:10:16.172 --> 00:10:19.717 My friend, it was on HBO, it was on cable. 00:10:19.717 --> 00:10:25.413 We didn't have it, so a friend videotaped it for us so I still have it. 00:10:25.413 --> 00:10:32.096 It's actually on a videotape in combination with my family's home movies. 00:10:33.038 --> 00:10:33.499 Oh cool. 00:10:33.499 --> 00:10:38.456 And also you have personal experience, if you want to touch on that a little bit. 00:10:39.085 --> 00:10:39.865 Yes, I do. 00:10:39.865 --> 00:10:40.986 My son has. 00:10:40.986 --> 00:10:50.239 He was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when he was not quite four and he has low support needs. 00:10:50.239 --> 00:10:53.967 Right now he is. 00:10:53.967 --> 00:10:59.778 He works for my husband in my husband's business and and he's very, he's still. 00:10:59.878 -->

00:11:00.480 He's grown. 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:03.351 He hides his light under a bushel. 00:11:03.351 --> 00:11:08.091 He thinks that he can't do a certain thing and I say to him what do you mean? 00:11:08.091 --> 00:11:08.774 You can't do it. 00:11:08.774 --> 00:11:09.556 This is beautiful. 00:11:09.556 --> 00:11:19.850 So he's still developing, but autism is very, it's very misunderstood. 00:11:19.850 --> 00:11:28.320 People will ask me, people will ask me questions and I'll say, no, that's not really true. 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:29.721 That's not the case with him. 00:11:29.721 --> 00:11:39.986 Very it's very misunderstood. 00:11:39.986 --> 00:11:49.816 And there are unfortunately, generally speaking, in school districts which is another reason why parents are afraid to ask is that parents of typically developing children are deathly afraid that the kids with special needs are. 00:11:49.816 --> 00:11:53.192 They're stealing all the resources and my kid won't get anything. 00:11:54.596 --> 00:11:56.243 Well, I'll tell you what that's. 00:11:56.243 --> 00:12:02.015 That's a little bit concerning that they think that but, considering their children, are getting all the resources already. 00:12:02.015 --> 00:12:13.384 But what I like about the fact that you have a son, that you have walked the walk, you've talked the talk, you've experienced it on a daily basis. 00:12:13.384 --> 00:12:27.933 So when you are working with a parent who has a child who needs some advocacy or needs some help, you understand what that is to come from a parent perspective, because that's a very emotional place to come from. 00:12:27.933 --> 00:12:45.418 When it's your child and you're trying to advocate for your child and you're running up against people telling you, no, we can't, no, you're not entitled I mean you know, knowing full well that you probably are they're trying to stop you from getting it the fact that you are that parent and you can understand how that parent is feeling in that moment. 00:12:45.418 --> 00:12:46.965 Right. 00:12:46.965 --> 00:12:51.836 So there's this connection there that happens because you're looking at that parent and go I've got you. 00:12:51.836 --> 00:12:53.511 I know how this feels. 00:12:53.511 --> 00:12:54.890 I know the tears you've cried. 00:12:54.890 --> 00:13:02.466 I know the tears you've cried. 00:13:02.466 --> 00:13:04.332 I know the times you've smiled and been happy for progress your child has made. 00:13:04.352 --> 00:13:11.653 I know the emotions you go through on a daily basis dealing with everything you deal with and that's powerful, that's very powerful that you can walk alongside that parent knowing exactly what they're feeling. 00:13:11.653 --> 00:13:13.596 So I love it. 00:13:13.596 --> 00:13:18.355 I love the fact that you have that and I think that's a, that's like an extra gold star on your forehead. 00:13:18.355 --> 00:13:22.605 It's it's more than just being a social worker or an advocate. 00:13:22.605 --> 00:13:27.246 Anybody can learn that and they can read books and they can put it into practice. 00:13:27.246 --> 00:13:37.172 But when you have that extra, that extra piece, that you have walked that path and you can help them along their path, that's just amazing to me. 00:13:37.172 --> 00:13:38.195 Thank you. 00:13:38.195 --> 00:13:41.083 That's like the cherry on top of the sundae, thank you. 00:13:41.645 --> 00:13:43.070 And add the whipped cream on top of it too. 00:13:43.070 --> 00:13:50.817 So let's get into this with the school districts, because, yeah, I've run up across this myself personally. 00:13:50.817 --> 00:13:58.426 But so why isn't school district telling you what you need to know in order to help your child? 00:14:00.549 --> 00:14:02.116 There are two reasons for it. 00:14:02.116 --> 00:14:21.201 One reason is that and if we want to judge people favorably and I do try to do that one reason is that an administrator, even though they're administrators, they may not be fully aware of what's available. 00:14:21.201 --> 00:14:34.470 They may and probably have been misinformed by special education law, because if something is repeated often enough, nobody questions it, it becomes carved in stone. 00:14:34.470 --> 00:14:36.113 It's like oh oh well, that's the truth. 00:14:36.113 --> 00:14:52.013 So that if I'm trying to think of an example, example, so not that they would say this, but there are, there had been people who. 00:14:52.013 --> 00:15:03.200 It's less so today, but it was very problematic several years ago If, if enough people had said to a parent oh well, you don't want that your child is, is being going to be labeled. 00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:04.191 Well, that's another reason. 00:15:04.191 --> 00:15:12.975 You know that they're afraid to ask, but getting back to with the schools, they again, they might not be informed. 00:15:13.456 --> 00:15:21.336 And the other reason, which I mentioned a few minutes ago, is money, because special education services, they are more expensive. 00:15:21.336 --> 00:15:39.592 There are a lot of kids with dyslexia and to hire a certified individual to teach them how to read, based on the science of reading, is that that's expensive, that that's very expensive. 00:15:39.592 --> 00:15:49.701 So there's well, you know, if we don't have to spend outside money, and we'll, you know, we'll just keep give them academic intervention support, that'll be fine. 00:15:49.701 --> 00:15:51.412 We'll have no accountability. 00:15:51.412 --> 00:15:54.701 So the two reasons one, lack of being informed and two, money. 00:15:56.230 --> 00:16:01.301 And it's a shame that those issues are there to have to deal with. 00:16:01.301 --> 00:16:25.743 And you can understand in a way where an administrator, who has all these responsibilities for all everything in the school, could maybe be unaware, but at the same time, that's their job and there should be somebody in that school district or in that school that is assigned

to know the laws and what the rights are, instead of just fumbling their way through it. 00:16:25.743 --> 00:16:29.337 Funding, we can understand, obviously. 00:16:29.337 --> 00:16:31.236 I mean, you know that's life. 00:16:31.236 --> 00:16:48.970 However, when your child has needs, by law the school system has to provide it, and people don't understand that and so they'll take the wait and see answer from teachers or from administrators not knowing. 00:16:49.169 --> 00:16:50.833 Well, no, you can push this. 00:16:50.833 --> 00:16:57.332 I mean, I have a friend who sued the school system years ago because they were playing these games with her and she's like no, absolutely not. 00:16:57.332 --> 00:17:01.143 And the minute she lawyered up, guess where the money all of a sudden appeared. 00:17:01.143 --> 00:17:06.411 Ok, yeah, not that everybody needs to lawyer up, but she had had enough. 00:17:06.411 --> 00:17:30.577 She went, she went through the processes, through the steps, did everything she was supposed to do as a parent, and then had enough because they kept trying to roadblock her and she's like fine, that's your stance, I'll get a lawyer and you can talk to my lawyer and all of a sudden, miraculously, money appeared and services appeared. 00:17:31.239 --> 00:17:41.324 Right, of course, two things about lawyers and I see this on Facebook all the time People will say my child isn't getting services. 00:17:41.324 --> 00:17:43.194 Who can recommend a lawyer to me? 00:17:43.194 --> 00:17:45.842 That's not the first place that you go. 00:17:45.842 --> 00:18:02.634 And if, if a lawyer says, I'll help you for $7,000, which is what they say minimally even more, no, you don't want that, because what you want to do is you want to keep as good a relationship with the district as you possibly can. 00:18:02.634 --> 00:18:18.730 And so if you go let's say you go in with a lawyer they have to bring their lawyer in, which means they're paying their lawyer, and frankly, I'd rather see your child get the services and have the money spent that way than having them pay their lawyers. 00:18:19.492 --> 00:18:25.063 It's just exactly, and also and it makes things it makes things more hostile. 00:18:25.063 --> 00:18:25.844 That's the first thing. 00:18:25.844 --> 00:18:27.455 Number two the lawyers. 00:18:27.455 --> 00:18:31.779 By and large, they're not supposed to go into the IEP meetings. 00:18:31.779 --> 00:18:34.298 They're really there for due process. 00:18:34.298 --> 00:18:42.051 If you are suing your district for a non-public school placement, then you want to go to the lawyers, and that's not. 00:18:42.051 --> 00:18:46.111 I stay out of that and I would refer a family to a lawyer. 00:18:46.111 --> 00:18:48.616 That I tell parents. 00:18:48.616 --> 00:19:01.311 If you're going to do that, you really have to have a very strong stomach because, one, it's time consuming, very time consuming, and two, it'll eat your bank account alive. 00:19:01.311 --> 00:19:05.361 It's just and it goes, and also, it goes on and on. 00:19:05.361 --> 00:19:10.038 And the third thing is that the school districts, many of them, have deep pockets. 00:19:10.038 --> 00:19:15.420 So even if you prevail, they could say, well, I'm appealing this, and they could win. 00:19:15.420 --> 00:19:16.871 Yeah. 00:19:17.412 --> 00:19:31.545 Yeah, your best bet is to try to work with the schools, try to do what you can get an advocate, do whatever you need to do there, but there are times when they need to get their bell rung a little bit, I guess, and that's when the lawyers step in. 00:19:31.545 --> 00:19:41.653 But when you talked about don't bring your lawyer to the IEP meeting, should your child be allowed to attend their own IEP meeting? 00:19:42.976 --> 00:19:45.660 Well, this is that's Well, that's interesting. 00:19:45.660 --> 00:20:09.834 By law, once children turn a minimal age of 16 and probably even younger, 14, you should start talking about life after high school, whether it's college, whether it's employment, whether it's a day program for the child, and they should be included at that point. 00:20:09.834 --> 00:20:11.457 Now you can. 00:20:11.457 --> 00:20:20.650 My child only went to his meeting once because he actually he was in high school and he said, mom, I want to go to the meeting because I want to change my math class. 00:20:20.650 --> 00:20:34.405 I said, okay, there are parents who have brought their younger kids to the meetings, but what they do is they'll do a video and they'll introduce their child by video. 00:20:34.405 --> 00:20:40.417 Or their child will have written a letter saying this is how I feel. 00:20:40.417 --> 00:20:50.119 Or the child say seven or eight, comes in for 15 minutes or so and then the grandparents take the child out to McDonald's. 00:20:50.809 --> 00:20:56.757 So, it's really when they're under 14, it's really it's up to the parent In certain cases. 00:20:56.757 --> 00:21:01.980 I wouldn't bring a child my child when he was little, when he was like seven or eight. 00:21:01.980 --> 00:21:04.778 He couldn't, he wouldn't have been able to attend. 00:21:04.778 --> 00:21:05.871 He would have been like he would have been all over the place. 00:21:05.871 --> 00:21:06.469 He couldn't do it till he was like seven or eight. 00:21:06.469 --> 00:21:07.988 He couldn't, he wouldn't have been able to attend, he would have been like he would have been all over the place. 00:21:07.988 --> 00:21:09.153 He couldn't do it until he was older. 00:21:10.310 --> 00:21:20.256 But I like the idea of if the parent feels comfortable that the child could make it through the IEP, or even like part of it, like you said, at least expressing how they feel through a video or through a letter. 00:21:20.256 --> 00:21:31.536 You're talking about a person and what is going to happen for this person or not happen for this person, and to the level that they can understand that. 00:21:31.536 --> 00:21:40.269 I think

that's important that they're involved in those decisions that are impacting them and could have an impact for their entire life, right? 00:21:40.269 --> 00:21:47.548 So I think it's a cool thing if people can do it and if they feel comfortable with their children doing it. 00:21:47.548 --> 00:21:59.526 When they're younger, and especially as they're older, like you said, these decisions that they're being made are impacting them after they're out of school, whether they go to college, trade school, employment day program, whatever it is. 00:21:59.526 --> 00:22:07.904 They have a right to express how they feel and what they want or need, and I think that's important. 00:22:07.904 --> 00:22:10.596 And I know let's step back for a minute. 00:22:10.596 --> 00:22:25.182 I know, with my son and daughter-in-law, I was in an IEP meeting for my granddaughter and we talked about this briefly in the other episode, but I want to reiterate this again Don't be afraid to say could you please explain what you're saying. 00:22:27.190 --> 00:22:29.979 Don't be afraid to say could you please explain what you're saying, because they throw out all these acronyms you have. 00:22:29.979 --> 00:22:30.721 First of all, it's intimidating. 00:22:30.721 --> 00:22:36.420 You walk in a room, you have all these people sitting around looking at you and it's nerve wracking at first. 00:22:36.420 --> 00:22:43.040 And then they start spitting out all these acronyms that they all understand and I remember going stop. 00:22:43.040 --> 00:22:45.896 You need to tell them exactly what you need. 00:22:45.896 --> 00:22:48.914 I just basically said you're basically speaking the foreign language here. 00:22:48.914 --> 00:22:53.494 Could you please explain to my son and daughter what you mean by all of this? 00:22:53.494 --> 00:22:56.521 And they were very kind about it, they were great. 00:22:56.521 --> 00:22:58.013 They just they do this so much. 00:22:58.013 --> 00:23:00.441 They just forget, right it's just normal for them to do that. 00:23:00.849 --> 00:23:03.016 So don't be afraid to call them on it and go. 00:23:03.016 --> 00:23:10.361 Excuse me, I don't understand what you're saying and don't worry about it making you look like you're stupid or uneducated. 00:23:10.361 --> 00:23:10.842 I didn't care. 00:23:10.842 --> 00:23:22.582 I was like whoa, back it up Like you need to explain this so they can make an informed decision for their child and not just agree because they're intimidated by all these people around the table looking at you. 00:23:22.582 --> 00:23:26.106 Right, it's important, it's important, it's important. 00:23:26.829 --> 00:23:29.098 Well, how can people find your book? 00:23:29.098 --> 00:23:32.655 Now, we'll put a link in the show notes so people can definitely find it. 00:23:32.655 --> 00:23:34.816 It's an ebook, so they can download it right away. 00:23:34.816 --> 00:23:40.961 Yes, let me just tell you I downloaded the computer, but download it to the phone. 00:23:40.961 --> 00:23:56.554 If people would download it to their phone that they have this handy, that when they're in an IEP meeting and they're preparing for an IEP meeting, they can scroll down and go, oh, I need to ask about this or oh, this is a good question I need to ask. 00:23:56.554 --> 00:24:04.118 So in your book, do you have, do you provide I'm assuming you do a list of questions that should be asked during meetings? 00:24:08.366 --> 00:24:17.590 That's very interesting, I don't, you know, I don't think that I did specifically, I think let me go back to. 00:24:17.590 --> 00:24:19.194 I'm going to go back to the book now. 00:24:22.006 --> 00:24:24.134 If you didn't do it in this version, you can do it in the next one. 00:24:25.486 --> 00:24:26.087 You know what? 00:24:26.087 --> 00:24:30.933 It's interesting that you should say that, yeah, I'm already thinking about the next book. 00:24:30.933 --> 00:24:33.525 That's a very interesting question. 00:24:33.525 --> 00:24:42.038 I was more general and I was also pointing out pitfalls. 00:24:42.819 --> 00:24:42.960 Good. 00:24:43.944 --> 00:24:44.826 Danger zone ahead. 00:24:44.826 --> 00:24:45.826 Good pitfalls, danger zone ahead. 00:24:45.826 --> 00:24:55.156 One of the things a very, very big pitfall is children are getting have been suspended. 00:24:55.156 --> 00:25:09.147 For of course we want to keep the school safe and of course you know if there, if a child is, if there's a major tantrum going on, we want to be able to handle it. 00:25:09.147 --> 00:25:15.137 But I can tell you that I, a few years ago, I had a child suspended, middle schooler, with adhd. 00:25:15.137 --> 00:25:28.695 He walked up to this, the um school water fountain and instead of drinking from it, he was washing his hands from it and that was suspension worthy are you serious? 00:25:29.026 --> 00:25:29.770 oh, I'm serious. 00:25:29.911 --> 00:25:38.817 I'm completely suspended him for washing his hands in the fountain I mean it was the wrong thing to do, but all you had to tell him was no, we need you know. 00:25:38.817 --> 00:25:39.446 That's not. 00:25:39.446 --> 00:25:46.569 The fountain is not for washing your hand like go, you know, go to the boys room, oh yeah it sounded to me like they were looking for a reason to suspend him. 00:25:47.271 --> 00:25:54.352 Yeah, yeah, I mean in some cases let's get real the teachers are annoyed and they're don't have to deal with these kids, so it's easier to go. 00:25:54.352 --> 00:25:56.025 Oh, he washed his hands in the fountain. 00:25:56.025 --> 00:25:57.547 He's out for a couple of days, I'll get a break. 00:25:57.547 --> 00:26:02.113 I mean, seriously, that's ridiculous to suspend a child for something like that. 00:26:02.113 --> 00:26:04.896 I'm sure you have all kinds of stories. 00:26:04.896 --> 00:26:07.800 Now tell people how they can find your website. 00:26:08.825 --> 00:26:11.388 So my website is the site. 00:26:11.388 --> 00:26:23.531 It's

wwwspecialneedspronet, and when, when you click on it, you go to, it would be the pull down menu and you click on ebook. 00:26:23.531 --> 00:26:31.107 And I did what Amazon does with their books you can read the first three pages as a preview. 00:26:31.670 --> 00:26:33.252 Perfect, Now that's awesome. 00:26:33.252 --> 00:26:33.795 That's awesome. 00:26:33.795 --> 00:26:34.856 I'll also put. 00:26:34.856 --> 00:26:41.486 So I'll put your website in there and also just put the link directly to the book so that they can easily access it. 00:26:41.486 --> 00:26:45.974 But we want people to educate themselves to that. 00:26:45.974 --> 00:26:51.535 There are advocates out there that do what you do to help them navigate this. 00:26:51.535 --> 00:27:01.791 This is not an easy thing to navigate through all the time and sometimes you know it's like you need a roadmap, you need a driver, you need someone to kind of tell you which way to go, and it's great that you're there and you do it. 00:27:01.791 --> 00:27:04.454 And I applaud you for what you do because so many people need it. 00:27:04.454 --> 00:27:04.998 So many people need it. 00:27:04.998 --> 00:27:06.383 And I applaud you for what you do because so many people need it. 00:27:06.383 --> 00:27:06.865 So many people need it. 00:27:07.204 --> 00:27:10.695 Thank you All right, what final message do you want to leave with the listeners? 00:27:13.644 --> 00:27:20.276 This is suspensions which I just mentioned are increasing to everybody listening. 00:27:20.276 --> 00:27:41.315 If you get a phone call from your school saying come and pick up your child and that call didn't come from the school nurse saying that your child has a bad cough or seems like he has a fever, if you didn't get that kind of call, you sit on the other end. 00:27:41.315 --> 00:27:45.670 If they say, oh, come and pick up your child, he seems a little unhappy at school. 00:27:45.670 --> 00:27:56.547 Today has nothing to do with physical illness, that's a suspension and they need that must be put in writing and it can get. 00:27:56.547 --> 00:28:01.476 It can get very tricky because the school they can act. 00:28:01.476 --> 00:28:04.449 They can act like bullies and they often do. 00:28:04.449 --> 00:28:16.051 But you have to be firm with them and if you go to school and pick them up, say to them okay, now this needs to be recorded as a suspension and then put it in an email. 00:28:16.051 --> 00:28:25.979 Follow up with that phone call that you get, because the phone call saying pick him up because he's not doing his homework, no, Ridiculous, Ridiculous. 00:28:26.644 --> 00:28:26.987 There we go. 00:28:26.987 --> 00:28:27.528 There's another. 00:28:27.528 --> 00:28:31.371 They're trying to get rid of him or her for a couple of days. 00:28:31.371 --> 00:28:33.117 That's no, that's good advice. 00:28:33.117 --> 00:28:34.623 So parents need to. 00:28:34.623 --> 00:28:44.316 If you're called for a suspension or you're called for something other than like they're sick, like the nurse is calling but he's unhappy, he's not doing his stuff, Document that as a suspension. 00:28:44.316 --> 00:28:46.308 Follow up with the school with an email. 00:28:46.308 --> 00:28:48.405 Um, keep track record and nancy. 00:28:48.405 --> 00:28:49.227 You bring up a good point. 00:28:49.267 --> 00:28:59.922 We'll wrap this document document document yep, all the time, all the time you can't do email emails, phone conversations. 00:28:59.961 --> 00:29:07.192 If you get off the phone with the teacher, you start writing notes down immediately date, time, what happened, who was present, definitely, and what happened. 00:29:07.192 --> 00:29:09.455 You know what was the outcome Constantly. 00:29:09.455 --> 00:29:10.520 Keep a running record of that. 00:29:10.520 --> 00:29:12.647 That's valuable information, valuable. 00:29:12.647 --> 00:29:14.852 Well, thank you for being here again today. 00:29:14.852 --> 00:29:24.791 I'm so excited that you're here and that you are doing what you're doing and you've got this book out that's going to help parents and just keep up the good work, girl. 00:29:24.791 --> 00:29:25.452 Keep it up. 00:29:25.953 --> 00:29:28.766 Thank you, thanks, pam, all right, you take care. 00:29:28.766 --> 00:29:32.315 Thanks, take care All right Stay home. 00:29:32.315 --> 00:29:32.875 Okay.