บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ Out Here Grindin! with Charles Gould

like reclines? 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:41.439 I just know that recently I think he was reclining because of a back, something of an injury. 00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:45.520 I saw I said he does look relaxed, and I said, I could be relaxing. 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:46.560 I have bad knees. 00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:48.639 I that's why I don't that's why I have this recline. 00:03:49.360 --> 00:03:50.080 Like, uh you know what? 00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:51.039 It depends on the vibe. 00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:51.680 What's the vibe? 00:03:51.840 --> 00:04:03.759 Are you going for like we're just relaxed friends talking, or do you actually want a heightened conversation that we are relaxed friends talking, except I don't except I'm who I am, so how relaxed could it be? 00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:04.479 You know what I mean? 00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:06.639 And I'm who I am, so it won't be relaxed. 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:07.199 Exactly. 00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:10.479 Yes, so maybe maybe we're helping ourselves relaxed. 00:04:10.719 --> 00:04:17.199 Okay, Charles, you're interrupting my incredible I interrupted myself to wrote to to a recline, actually. 00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:17.759 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:23.279 Okay, no, because I've been DJing my songs, and I just have to play actually this song um as our intro today. 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:28.720 And it is definitely, it's definitely we're just gonna just gonna have a moment of is this in New York time? 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:30.560 No, we're just gonna have no. 00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:33.040 I thought about doing look at me, I'm already crying. 00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:40.639 I started, I thought about doing New York, New York, go New York, go New York, but I did recently see this is Bright Eyes Lua, of course. 00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:43.439 Um, I did recently see Brigdey's. 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:45.279 I know that it is freezing. 00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:48.560 I saw people posting about it. 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:50.879 I know that it's freezing, but I think we have to walk. 00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:53.279 Woo! I did see Bright Eyes at the Hollywood Ball. 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:56.399 It was probably maybe like the fourth or fifth time I've seen Bright Eyes. 00:04:56.639 --> 00:05:01.199 I can't, because actually we're gonna because he'll come after me, but I'm actually editing it under. 00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:03.040 It's it's under and it's beautiful. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:05.519 But I but we don't like to listen to it. 00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:10.399 We I sometimes do, but I know I'll get carried away because I already felt it happen. 00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:12.000 Because you know what happened? 00:05:12.639 --> 00:05:21.199 So my family was here recently, um, this past week, and I had a rental car, and we were driving back from a little Joshua Tree stargazing exposition. 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:23.600 How beautiful, actually, so gorgeous, amazing. 00:05:24.720 --> 00:05:28.879 I'm saying, oh my god, I have Hollywood, I have Friday's at the Hollywood Bowl 21 years. 00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:31.839 21 years of I'm wide awake it's morning. 00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:33.279 Now I have to not be reclined. 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:35.360 21 years of I'm Wide Awake It's Morning. 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:36.319 I felt myself getting too confident. 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:37.439 I knew that this was gonna happen. 00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:38.879 That I was gonna stop reclining? 00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:39.279 Yes. 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:41.600 Okay, I didn't think it would happen this quickly. 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:47.920 It's because I I was awoken by the thought of 21 years I'm a wide of I'm wide awake it's morning and digital ash, digital. 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:49.920 Wow, okay, that's a long time. 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:52.319 I remember when that I remember when that album came out. 00:05:52.639 --> 00:05:54.720 And the thing is is kind of, I don't really remember. 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:56.959 You do, because how could you forget? 00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:02.480 Um, on this podcast that I've had since 2017, I keep bringing it up lately because I want people to know that I've been in this game. 00:06:02.720 --> 00:06:03.040 Okay. 00:06:03.279 --> 00:06:07.040 And and and I think they could they could be like laughing at me for that, and that's fine. 00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:13.600 Um, I would talk about Bride Eyes all the time as like the my crush songs, of course, you know, because those are the songs of my uses, but you don't know. 00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:21.040 And so I'm playing, I'm like, okay, uh I'm playing a little bit of the album to myself driving back. 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:23.040 And then here comes on Lua. 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:25.519 Here comes on Lua this song, Bright Eyes. 00:06:25.680 --> 00:06:26.079 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:27.519 This is why you're with your family. 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:28.079 Yes. 00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:29.839 My brother's probably asleep in the back. 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:32.240 My my my mom's, she's next to me. 00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:33.279 She knows the score. 00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:34.720 She knows about Bright Eyes. 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:36.879 Because you talked about it so much. 00:06:37.120 --> 00:06:50.240 Oh, I mean, I went like when when I went to Lollapalooza when I was like 15, uh, Bright Eyes was playing, and they like cut to me during landlocked blues, absolutely singing my heart out for like a good 30 seconds. 00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:55.839 The Friday of the Lollapalooza, so then the rest of the weekend, random people would be like, Bright Eyes girl. 00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:56.160 Really? 00:06:56.639 --> 00:06:57.360 Very much that. 00:06:57.519 --> 00:06:57.759 Yeah. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:06:58.319 Wow. 00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:01.920 I famously, of course, Connor uh sang to me. 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:11.120 He reached out his hand, hold my hand at film at the Fillmore uh when they were playing

the People's Key Tour, singing like literally, it goes deep for me and Connor Oberst, right? 00:07:11.279 --> 00:07:13.120 Okay, wait, so you were it front row. 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:14.879 Yo, wait the filmmore. 00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:18.160 Always in the front row, every time I could be, yes, of course. 00:07:18.399 --> 00:07:22.560 Wait, so but so I just can I just figure out what this means? 00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:25.279 So you get there early, you get there a couple hours early to wait. 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:26.560 I used to do this always. 00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:37.199 I mean like before, because I did like music journalism in high school of giving almost famous, but before I did that, I would just show up like hours, hours, hours, hours early, skip school, etc. 00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:48.879 I I like famous famously, and you know, we got how we wish that all of these boys of the radio heads were doing better um with their pull their stances loudly. 00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:51.920 Um, but yeah, I like wait what are they what are the radio head guys doing? 00:07:52.079 --> 00:07:56.800 You know, they're just like wishy-washy like Johnny Green was married to big assion Zionists. 00:07:57.040 --> 00:08:04.800 Like, yes, Tom made Tom York be, you know, then then every statement Tom York has put out has been like bad. 00:08:04.959 --> 00:08:06.079 I hate this statement. 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:10.160 This is bad for the people for for people who wrote Hail to the Thief, you know. 00:08:10.240 --> 00:08:12.160 I mean, I'm thinking I'm thinking you're gonna be better. 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:14.319 Can I just say something in defense of him? 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:15.040 You can. 00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:17.040 I mean, well, it depends what it's gonna be. 00:08:17.199 --> 00:08:18.160 It's not, it's not. 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:18.879 Sure. 00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:21.040 You know what's something? 00:08:21.279 --> 00:08:26.800 No, um I thought that the way they put him on the spot initially was a little unfair. 00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:29.120 I'm who who was they? 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:37.519 So the first time the first time I even saw a headline that was like Tom York refuses to condemn genocide in Gaza, sure. 00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:39.919 He was playing a show and someone heckled him. 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:42.559 No, yeah, I mean that's not really fair. 00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:46.399 And he was like pissed and he walked off, and people were like, why didn't he just say it? 00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:47.360 Like, why is he pissed? 00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:47.840 Blah blah blah. 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:50.720 And I kind of remember at the time being like, but that's not fair to him. 00:08:51.519 --> 00:09:06.000 I mean, we can argue the fairness of that type of like, and you know me, I'm I I I'm an abolitionist, which means that which actually does not mean I think that cap like cancel culture, call-out culture, I do not think is real countability. 00:09:06.080

--> 00:09:06.639 You know what I mean? 00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:10.000 It's like it's not doing like good relationship, like healing in, etc. 00:09:10.320 --> 00:09:13.759 And so I agree with that, like that that's not you know, like I hear you. 00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:14.159 Yeah. 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:17.279 But it is just sort of like Yeah, give me the butt. 00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:25.360 I'm just kind of I like hey, maybe I was dumb for this, but I'm just like, oh, I thought you were more hashtag punk rock than this. 00:09:25.679 --> 00:09:26.879 Like I I just did. 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:46.799 I just like like cause because mate, whether whether it's a fair thing, and maybe what I know that that I am I am dis distinctly aware because I've had I had the fights that early days, like I I know that the that the tone has shifted like dramatically, yeah, right? 00:09:47.039 --> 00:09:51.440 And like more pe people who were very much like Rebecca, don't post that shit, don't say that shit. 00:09:51.600 --> 00:09:59.840 Early days are different now, you know, the the neoliberals of the of the my mom and Tom York's age group uh in particular. 00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:02.080 I like I'm so aware of that, and like whatever. 00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:04.799 I guess I guess I have space for that. 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:12.159 But that's where it's just like, oh no, I literally just did think that you were probably a motherfucker that would just be like, no, absolutely free pounds. 00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:13.120 Right, of course. 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:18.799 Because but that's because that's because but that's it, that's the idea of them that I had that I guess is untrue. 00:10:19.039 --> 00:10:20.480 Well, I guess there's two things. 00:10:20.720 --> 00:10:24.960 One, they're rich, right, and have been for a while, and have been for a really long time. 00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:27.039 Once people become rich, that's always the thing. 00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:29.679 Don't get me sorry about the Met Gala, you know. 00:10:30.159 --> 00:10:34.080 Well, I already, I already, I already made my I already made a real about it. 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:34.480 Okay. 00:10:34.879 --> 00:10:43.200 I didn't even pay attention to it this year out of protest because of course, but then you you see some people by accident and you see that they were at the Met Gala, and you said, You? 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:44.720 Well, you were cooler than that. 00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:45.519 Wait, like who? 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:50.080 Like, you know, just like people that you think are cooler than who do you think is cooler? 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:58.639 Sizza and Dochi, and like I but it's like of course they're just capitalists and like, but then also like weird, like there's there's weird lines. 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:03.519 Are those the two, Siza and Dochi that you were like those those were two that really kind of like hurt my feelings a little bit. 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:06.960 I'm like, well,

Dochi, yes, Sizza, no. 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:08.879 I'm not surprised Sizza went to the Megalob. 00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:09.679 I guess I'm not surprised. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:15.519 So this is this is this ends up being my analysis of my relationship to it, right? 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:21.039 It's sort of like I feel like I mean the megalabendum, whatever. 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:31.919 I think this year was a lot, it was like it was so much easier to just like not be there and be like not let's just like that's just like an easy thing to do. 00:11:32.159 --> 00:11:35.440 Like with the with the Jeff Bezos of it all specifically. 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:38.320 It's like you could just get easy points by not being there. 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:41.120 And then people are like, oh, but what about a fashion contract? 00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:43.200 Probably, and then I'm like, Well, that's the thing. 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:54.960 I'm looking for the line, and it's like, oh, probably once you've f once you've signed that like contract with that fashion brand that is the has probably done countless evil things. 00:11:55.039 --> 00:12:01.360 Like the line was probably been been crossed, and that's like the confusion, even though it's like do you know what I mean? 00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:07.679 Well, so what the idea that Doce has signed to do with Louis Vuitton, and they're like, you have to go to the Metcala in one of our things. 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:13.919 Well, that is what some people that's what people will say is like, oh, if you're a brand ambassador, you like it's a part of your contract that you have to go. 00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:15.200 I'm like, the Metcala. 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:17.279 That's what some people say. 00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:18.720 Whatever. 00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:20.159 I do I think that's bullshit. 00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:21.600 Do I think that you can make your choice? 00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:22.159 Yes. 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:35.600 But I'm like, even if giving space to that, that is just the relationship of like, oh yeah, literally, why have any expectations for any of these big hashtag capitalist celebrities, like literally no heroes? 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:41.679 I can love the songs that they they made, but also think that it's stupid that they are. 00:12:42.159 --> 00:12:52.799 I just I just you just realized more, like, oh yeah, like you these are like great artists, but also like they're I don't know what I expect from them. 00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:56.320 But oh man, it's like it's okay to be like that was stupid. 00:12:56.559 --> 00:12:58.720 You look a little dumb, you look a little silly goose for that. 00:12:58.960 --> 00:12:59.200 Totally. 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:00.960 Absolutely 100%. 00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:02.159 And I th and that's the thing. 00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:05.679 Ultimately, I think Tom York had been looking a little silly goose with that. 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:08.320 Tom York looking, I agree with you,

I agree. 00:13:08.399 --> 00:13:10.240 And I I don't really know what he said outside. 00:13:10.320 --> 00:13:14.559 We have to edit the first part because I don't really know what he said afterwards. 00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:26.559 So he might have said some really bad shit, and I have no idea, but I do think like But that's the thing, even the because of the fact that we don't that we we would know if he just said, Yeah, fucking free Palestine, bah bing ba boom. 00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:27.039 You know what I mean? 00:13:27.200 --> 00:13:31.200 Yes, yes, like there the fact that he hasn't just come out and said that by now is a little is bad. 00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:42.000 Yeah, like there's mad people who are like so vocal about it, and it's just like that like you can go back and forth about what you think people's responsibility is towards like the this the issues of our time, whatever. 00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:47.279 I think, you know, I think I think it's just like you you're showing your ass every time. 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:51.679 I'm not gonna for I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not seeing your ass and not liking how that how it's looking. 00:13:51.919 --> 00:13:52.639 You know what I mean? 00:13:53.279 --> 00:14:12.639 And I go back and forth all the time about a lot of these things and like and like I I understand that I can probably come off as like maybe a little dogmatic, a little like militant towards like certain things, you know, like maybe maybe extreme on a on a on a spectrum of like what we're demanding of each other. 00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:20.720 And I hold space for that in the sense of like okay, well, I don't want to be a cop, cop behavior is what we're not trying to accomplish here. 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:23.679 I never want that to be the thing, right? 00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:40.240 Like that I am policing someone's behavior, but when the behavior is aligning itself so readily to the tool of white supremacy police state, when the behavior is being pol is actually doing police, we gotta. 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:43.840 I I'm gonna at least say knock knock and stop doing that. 00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:50.000 I mean, I think that if you can't criticize famous people for going to some bullshit like the Met Gala, then where where are we? 00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:51.200 Where are we in this life? 00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:55.279 Yeah, and I will say to the damn contrary, to bring it right back. 00:14:56.480 --> 00:15:04.000 Connor Over's 21-year anniversary show Hollywood Bowl, he's saying Benjamin Yetanyahoo is doing genocide. 00:15:04.320 --> 00:15:10.080 He said, Yeah, he put all out on the streets like like like like America was founded on the genocide of the Native Americans. 00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:16.639 This is so interesting about LA California town, and probably elsewhere as well. 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:24.960 He does all of these things on the screen of like just saying all the truths, talking about chattel slavery, talking about slavery. 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:27.840 There's there's no reaction, there's no it's so quiet, it's so quiet. 00:15:27.919 --> 00:15:32.000 Because I I I I guess like what do you what do people respond to? 00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:34.720 The the fact and truths of slavery. 00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:36.159 You don't want that. 00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:37.440 You don't want that. 00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:40.480 Um but then a Hollywood Bowl weird venue. 00:15:40.720 --> 00:15:43.440 I know, but that's why I'm like but do you golf clap? 00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:45.840 It's not like a weird, it's not like a punk rock. 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:47.519 I did stand for some of it. 00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:51.679 I said, you guys are lame if you're not rocking out to some of this music, okay? 00:15:51.919 --> 00:16:03.519 Um but then it's like they talk about he like he he he has like a thing about slavery, and then and then he has a thing about like ice, and then that gets a big loud reaction. 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:20.159 But what's interesting is like pretty much he was presenting it in the same way of these are the facts of oppression of America, and it was like the genocide of Native Americans slavery now ice. 00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:29.120 Okay, and I'm like it's just you guys make it very clear of the things that you don't want to fucking even address in one energetic way or another. 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:32.320 I think that you're thinking uh I might be. 00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:34.159 This is can I tell you honestly what I think? 00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:37.759 Tell me people in LA are dumb. 00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:41.279 I know I keep facing this. 00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:46.879 And they just saw the thing, they saw the thing that was at was top of mind. 00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:47.759 Of course. 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:50.720 And they were just like, ICE, oh yeah, I know that I don't like that. 00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:55.919 Instead of having to be like, I mean, obviously that they I don't think they like slavery. 00:16:56.159 --> 00:16:56.960 No, of course not. 00:16:57.279 --> 00:17:07.440 But it's like you're you they're they're they were expressing a frustration towards ice that I'm like you can have it towards all of the other stuff that preceded it. 00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:09.680 You're giving them too much credit. 00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:16.960 They just literally saw the thing that they had seen earlier that day on Twitter, and they were like, wait, no, that I boo. 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:18.240 No, it's true. 00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:24.720 I'm expecting far too much from the millennial bright eyes uh crowd of the Hollywood Bowl, but I'll say Just LA. 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:31.359 If you were in New York, you've been in like Phil, if you were on the East Coast, it would have been right. 00:17:31.599 --> 00:17:35.279 Come near, come near, go, you know. 00:17:35.759 --> 00:17:37.599 And I grew up in LA, so I can say these things. 00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:38.720 So you're

allowed to say it. 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:42.079 Okay, like I'm just bringing it as an outside observer in, you know. 00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:44.480 I would say that, like, so how long have you been in LA? 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:46.240 No, so it's only since last August. 00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:49.920 Also, this is the surprising thing I've noticed for people who move here from New York. 00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:51.519 Yeah, we're like, what the helly? 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:54.000 It takes them three years to be like, uh oh no, no, no. 00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:59.279 People here are just I don't want to say dumb because that's that's too reductive. 00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:01.440 No, I know that it's just different. 00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:03.920 It's just different, it's just different, it's different. 00:18:04.480 --> 00:18:07.599 I say with tears streaming down my eyes. 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:15.039 Well, you know, I'm glad that C B that's C C O Connor Obers, C O Connor Obers. 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:15.519 Yeah, yeah. 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:17.599 I'm glad that he said, fuck it. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:24.400 He know I I think he knew, and he said it's time to let these people know, you know, because it's because it's like where there's Zionists with the crowd of Bright Eyes. 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:24.799 I'm sure. 00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:25.119 Definitely. 00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.799 I'm sure the Hollywood Bowl, yes. 00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:27.680 Are you kidding me? 00:18:28.240 --> 00:18:30.960 Great show, Muldy Peaches between the two sets. 00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:31.599 Hello. 00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:33.200 I realize okay, I know all these songs. 00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:34.559 Multi peaches, remember that? 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:35.359 Wait, wait, wait. 00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:37.839 Connor, they did two, they they did a lot of things. 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:43.680 He did I'm wide awake this morning full album, Muldi Peaches set, and then Digital Ash, Digital Earn full album. 00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:44.240 That's amazing. 00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:45.599 How long it was incredible. 00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:48.799 Like three or two two three years, three hours? 00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:49.200 I don't know. 00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:50.160 Started at seven. 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:51.279 That's a really good example. 00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:55.839 Three and a half of a I don't think he ever got that rich. 00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:56.480 Connor. 00:18:56.720 --> 00:18:57.599 Connor, no, I don't think. 00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:01.279 I mean, they're they're obviously they're selling out the Hollywood Bowl, so they're doing great. 00:19:01.440 --> 00:19:01.680 Yeah. 00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:06.079 But I don't think they ever got rich on the level where they like don't pay attention to anything. 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:08.000 Not right, not radio head rich. 00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:08.799 Not radio head rich. 00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:09.440 That's for damn sure. 00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:11.279 Also, you had like a brain tumor and stuff. 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:11.920 You did? 00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:14.000 Yeah, he had a brain tumor and stuff like years ago. 00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:15.039 Were you crying every day? 00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:16.079 I was literally crying. 00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:17.920 Googling, how's Connor? 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:22.720 I was like, We need him. 00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:31.200 But um, the whole br the really the reason I brought that up, and then your shirt was tripping me out, was because I was because I was listening when I was listening to Lua in the car. 00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:38.640 And we're gonna do the podcast, which is Classroom Crush, and it is actually about childhood crushes um and relationships, which were political, by the way. 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.680 And that's fine that they can be all the same podcast. 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:42.480 Yeah. 00:19:43.200 --> 00:19:48.000 Um, um, I'm listening to this song Lua Driving in the Car before before the thing. 00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:50.160 Here's the thing about bright eyes music. 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:50.480 Yeah. 00:19:50.720 --> 00:20:00.880 When you when you're listening to it when you're a teenager, wow can it hit different when now you are older, you have had uh the experiences. 00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:03.920 Maybe you've lost someone to addiction. 00:20:05.359 --> 00:20:12.880 And you're listening, and you're driving and you're singing and you're singing along to the words because you don't they're imprinted in you, and then you're saying, actually, I know this feeling well now. 00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:14.720 Oh my god, the feeling is overwhelming me. 00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:17.839 Then you're crying in the car, then one of your contacts falls out. 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:20.000 Uh-oh, you have 26 minutes left on the drive. 00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:26.880 Now you're driving the rest of the way because of the crying, uh, closing one eye, trying not to kill your family. 00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:28.559 Is your mom asleep at the time? 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:31.519 No, she's a she's awake, but we're just going. 00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:32.799 I'm like, we're good. 00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:33.920 We got this. 00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:36.880 I was saying, Mom, you might need to take over because I can't see it. 00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:37.839 I got it. 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:39.119 You know, we were okay. 00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:42.079 It wasn't comfortable, um, but I did it. 00:20:42.240 --> 00:20:46.559 You know, which is kind of how life is a little risky, a little uncomfortable, but you did it in the end. 00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.079 And his name was Alan. 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:49.920 That's why your shirt is crazy. 00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:50.720 Oh, really? 00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:51.279 Yeah. 00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:54.319 Oh, geez of the of the the pod, no. 00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:55.839 All about that Alan story. 00:20:55.920 --> 00:20:56.000

Okay. 00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:57.519 Anyways, I start crying again. 00:20:57.599 --> 00:20:58.319 Go on. 00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:00.480 Well, now I don't know. 00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:04.480 I was just gonna say, like, I also never want to stop driving when I start driving either. 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.240 Because you're just I'm in the mode. 00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:08.799 I'm in the mode, and I'm like, let's just let me move out. 00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:09.519 Exactly. 00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:11.200 That's how I feel about my life right now. 00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:11.759 Do you? 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:15.759 Let me just keep yeah, yeah, that's shit over with. 00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:19.599 No, like, can we just like can we just keep can we just can we get the can we keep going? 00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:20.079 Can we get there? 00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:23.440 Can we what's all it's why I've recently stopped going to therapy? 00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:25.039 You stopped going to therapy? 00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:26.000 I did. 00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:26.960 What do you mean? 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:27.519 Go on. 00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:30.240 I want this is why you recently stopped going to therapy. 00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:33.440 I I went to therapy for 10 years. 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:34.960 That's a lot of years in a row. 00:21:35.599 --> 00:21:37.599 Yeah, you know, yes, on and off. 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:40.000 You didn't go back and forwards in time. 00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:46.319 Yeah, no, I did 10 years in the five in the 70s, five in the eighties. 00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:48.559 Psychoanalytical. 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:50.160 Kind of in the row in a row. 00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:52.079 You know, like I would take time off, obviously. 00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:52.559 Yeah. 00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:54.640 But for the most part, ten years of therapy. 00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:54.960 Okay. 00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:56.480 I feel like I know. 00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:59.759 I'm not saying my life is perfect, but I feel like I know a lot. 00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:01.440 You know the stuff. 00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:02.960 I'm on the path. 00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:05.759 I know how to get to where I need to go. 00:22:06.559 --> 00:22:11.920 I don't need every week to talk about you don't got stuff weighing you down right now. 00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:12.640 I do. 00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:13.680 But you're okay. 00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:14.880 But I have the tools. 00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:16.319 He's got the tools, baby. 00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:17.279 Ladies and gentlemen. 00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:22.880 Ladies and gentlemen, I am really, oh my God, so excited to introduce. 00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:24.400 He's got the tools. 00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:25.279 He's got the vision. 00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:26.079 He's on the road. 00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:27.039 He's on the path. 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:28.319 He's making you laugh. 00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:29.839 He's making you think. 00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:33.200 Is Charles Gould related to Elliot? 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:34.160 Not related. 00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:35.599 You should just start claiming it. 00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:36.480 Why not? 00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:37.599 That's a really good point. 00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:38.799 I mean, what are people going to say? 00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:40.160 Well, what do I get out of it? 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:41.119 He's a cool guy. 00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:42.000 Long goodbye. 00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:42.720 You ever seen that one? 00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:44.079 What a film. 00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:45.200 What a film. 00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:48.400 It could be like, yeah, you told me about the set. 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:49.680 What did you just start lying? 00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:50.079 I don't know. 00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:51.359 I'm telling you to do that. 00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:55.119 I don't want to advocate for another white man to lie, but no. 00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:57.359 But I would if I were you. 00:22:57.519 --> 00:22:57.920 I just would. 00:22:58.000 --> 00:22:59.759 I would if I thought I could get something out of it. 00:22:59.839 --> 00:23:01.440 I just think they'd be like, figure out what you could get. 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:02.799 Oh, Elliot, cool. 00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:03.440 Are you related? 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:06.960 And then if I go, yeah, then they most of the most of the time go, oh, cool. 00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:09.440 Who knows where that could go? 00:23:09.599 --> 00:23:10.720 In this town, maybe? 00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:13.039 Who knows what does that go at? 00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:14.960 But if we're in this town, then I'll get caught. 00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:15.920 With these dumbass, yeah. 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:20.160 Because he does have a kid with shh Barbara Streisand, I think. 00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:20.640 Does he? 00:23:20.880 --> 00:23:21.839 I think they have a child. 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.480 I don't know that, but I could you it could be true. 00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:24.720 Yeah. 00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:25.200 I believe you. 00:23:25.359 --> 00:23:26.079 And then people might be able to do it. 00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:27.200 I'm not gonna claim it to be true. 00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:28.640 Are you also related to Barbara Streisand? 00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:30.400 And then I you know I think the lie gets deeper in the city. 00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:30.960 Hell yeah. 00:23:31.039 --> 00:23:32.079 No, I think I go, yeah. 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:32.640 I go back. 00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:34.640 Oh yeah, uh Aunt Barbie. 00:23:34.799 --> 00:23:36.400 And then you okay, here's the thing. 00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:38.559 You have your starring vehicle, okay? 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:39.359 You're crazy. 00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:42.000 You're like, one lie spun me out of control. 00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:45.920 It's a classic comedy um produced by Seth Rogan. 00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:50.079 Wait, you're right, because oh, but then also like the

thing happens where okay, I get the starring vehicle. 00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:51.279 Yeah, it's a huge hit. 00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:51.599 Hello. 00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:55.200 And then everyone starts being like, but this guy's a Nepo baby, he's Elliot Gould's son. 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:58.000 And then I go, actually, I'm not. 00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:05.839 And then they go, Oh, he used Nepo babies to get what he wanted, but he's actually not a Nepo baby. 00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:06.960 We respect him more. 00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:08.319 We respect him even more. 00:24:08.559 --> 00:24:10.240 Five more starring roles. 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:11.119 Boom. 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:13.519 And now you're basically Timothy Chalome. 00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:16.079 I'm at the Knicks game. 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:17.359 You're at the Knicks game. 00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:23.680 Well, what was funny when I watched the Knicks game um uh and go New York is we swept that absolutely in four. 00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:24.960 Thank you very much. 00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:30.960 Um, was was the people around me when they were cutting to TC, nobody was in nobody cared. 00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:33.680 Everyone was like, get him out, we don't care, move on. 00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:36.160 Everyone's over TC and Timothy Cheltens. 00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:38.079 Just the Knicks fans. 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:39.519 Yeah, but whatever. 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:42.480 The Knicks do not have good slips. 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:45.119 I mean Spikely, fine. 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:48.319 They have Spike and Ben still are and T TC. 00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:50.480 I Spike, fine. 00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:52.240 But you know, he's been a fan since the whatever. 00:24:52.640 --> 00:24:52.880 Forever. 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:53.039 Yeah. 00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:54.960 I almost don't even count him anymore. 00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:56.240 Yeah, no, he's just there. 00:24:56.319 --> 00:25:00.160 He's just uh he's a part of the the he's the set dressing. 00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:02.720 And like at this point now, that's like what he's all about. 00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:08.400 No, now it it's be it's becoming very obvious when people are just clout chasing at the at a celebrity row. 00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:11.680 And what's gonna be so guys, I have to say it right here. 00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:22.799 What's gonna be so annoying is that when I'm more famous now and I am down there watching and I'm not gonna go that close because for frankly, I don't think that that those are better's views, you know, to be so close to the game. 00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:23.279 That's it. 00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:23.519 Really? 00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:24.079 You don't think so? 00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:27.680 I mean, nah like I get a couple I'm gonna get a little elevation. 00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:30.799 Yeah, but you don't wanna like Here's the thing. 00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:33.759 If you see me on Celebrity Row, I'm a real fan. 00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:35.039 That's what I want people to understand. 00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:35.680 I don't know. 00:25:35.759 --> 00:25:39.599 I think that if you're a real fan, you're not just cloud chasing, you sit in the box. 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:41.039 You know, like anytime. 00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:43.599 That's what I'm saying, is what's even the better seat? 00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:44.799 What's even the better POV? 00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:46.559 But it's not even about the best seat. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:53.759 But if you're if you're if you're a real fan, then you then you don't want to take the attention away from the game. 00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:54.559 No, exactly. 00:25:54.799 --> 00:26:00.880 So like DiCaprio is a Lakers guy, you never you never see DiCaprio sitting on the floor. 00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:01.680 I guess not. 00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:05.359 I mean you saw De Attention then, but he's kind of like the OG of that. 00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:05.920 Yeah, yeah. 00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:08.880 But he doesn't do that anymore either, but that's because he has dementia. 00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:12.000 So that's why he doesn't do it. 00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:20.000 Wait, speaking of memories on my podcast about childhood crushes. 00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:20.400 Oh, yeah. 00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:21.680 Here we are. 00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:25.039 I I I saw an opportunity and I took it. 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:27.519 Thank you so much. 00:26:27.599 --> 00:26:28.480 And now I'm leaning back. 00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:29.039 Uh-oh. 00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:32.799 How is that whole thing we talked about before not gonna be in the podcast? 00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:34.000 It's all gonna be in the podcast. 00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:34.400 Okay, okay. 00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:35.200 Yeah, you're not gonna like it. 00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:38.720 What I literally said is my podcast is whatever it is, whatever I want. 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:40.799 You're not gonna do editing or anything. 00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:41.920 Like, God forbid. 00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:43.839 What editing? 00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:48.400 I haven't edited this podcast really like that in years. 00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:54.319 I I've decided it's a political stance to some kind sometimes sound stupid on a podcast. 00:26:54.559 --> 00:26:56.000 Well, I think that you have to. 00:26:56.319 --> 00:26:57.519 So I this is what I think. 00:26:57.680 --> 00:27:02.640 The theme of this of this episode of your podcast is our podcast art. 00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:08.160 Yeah, and I mean, well, I mean answer it, I'm answering it every day in the affirmative, of course. 00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:12.319 But I think like this episode is art. 00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:12.720 Yeah. 00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:14.319 Not editing it is like art. 00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:15.119 No, definitely. 00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:16.240 I just mean in general. 00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:19.519 Can podcasts be considered great art? 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:21.119 I think

yes. 00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:22.960 But what's an example? 00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:24.000 This podcast. 00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:25.359 Besides this podcast. 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:26.079 True. 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:27.039 Besides this podcast. 00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:27.680 You know what? 00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:30.319 Actually, podcast that I think is art, history. 00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:31.279 Okay. 00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:37.039 And I'm gonna say this with the asterisk of like, I'm gonna be honest, I haven't actually watched like a full one. 00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:37.440 Okay. 00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:42.000 But every fucking clip from this podcast makes me die laughing, and I do think it's art. 00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:42.400 Okay. 00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:46.000 Have you ever seen the sandbox sex sessions, guys? 00:27:46.240 --> 00:27:53.119 They're basically like doing like a toxic male like podcast where they're like, is it appropriate for a grown man to brush his teeth? 00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:55.440 And they're like, Well, I don't know. 00:27:55.519 --> 00:28:00.559 I mean, dude, and then but they're like so committed and like, and I do think it is literally art. 00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:02.880 I'm like, it's it's satire, it's art. 00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:05.440 But are they actually doing a full-ass podcast? 00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:06.240 No, they are. 00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:15.119 It's a podcast, but they're staying in character like that, like, like it, and it looks like like it just looks it look, it's just I can't even describe it. 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:15.920 It makes me laugh. 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:22.319 Every because the thing that they will come up with to question the masculinity around is art, frankly. 00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:22.799 Okay. 00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:26.799 Every time I see, I say art history, I say they should be teaching this. 00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:29.119 They won't be because I mean we'll see what happens. 00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:29.759 We'll see, we'll see. 00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:30.960 I mean, we'll see what happens. 00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:39.279 But if I have an art history book here, if we have up uh, you know, from my high school, updated art history, sandbox sessions should be in there. 00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:42.799 Well, this is a moment of time that they're capturing and reflecting, and that is art. 00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:44.640 So, yeah, that is what art is yeah. 00:28:44.720 --> 00:28:46.000 I started art history, that's what it is. 00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:48.319 Oh, no, no, high school. 00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:50.480 I had no response to that, it was too smart. 00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:59.200 Hey, that's what happens when you go to an arts high school and then do two semesters of screenwriting college and then drop out, as you know, Jessana. 00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:00.720 You know, huh? 00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:06.960 We had just approached a gorgeous segue of memories back down memory lane, Minnie Ripperson. 00:29:07.599

--> 00:29:10.640 Charles, can we go back down memory lane? 00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:17.279 And can you tell me what kind of kid are you growing up and were you uh were you inclined towards love and romance? 00:29:17.519 --> 00:29:18.240 When I was a kid? 00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:18.640 Yeah. 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:19.839 What kind of kid was I? 00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:20.960 That's a really good question. 00:29:21.119 --> 00:29:21.680 Yeah. 00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:23.599 Well, we're here in LA County. 00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:29.279 Basically, and then and even though even though I'm a therapist, I'm reclined. 00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:34.880 I think I was like kind of uh I started as happy go lucky and then I got really shy. 00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:35.440 Why? 00:29:35.599 --> 00:29:37.519 And then I was a pretty shy kid, I think, for a long time. 00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:38.799 What happened that made you shy? 00:29:39.440 --> 00:29:40.000 Life, I think. 00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:42.400 What's around what age did you start to get shy? 00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:43.359 Middle school. 00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:45.200 So it's like when the hormones are happy. 00:29:45.519 --> 00:29:46.559 When the hormones kicked in. 00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:48.400 Did the horniness make you shy? 00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:50.640 Did you start getting horny and then you're like, uh-oh. 00:29:51.119 --> 00:29:52.799 It wasn't the horniness that made me shy. 00:29:52.880 --> 00:30:01.920 It was like, no, I do think that like I got shy when when I uh I it was like a a need for acceptance, love and acceptance for sure. 00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:02.720 Okay, go on. 00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:03.920 Yeah, that's when I got shy. 00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:06.160 When when you started to recognize this need. 00:30:06.400 --> 00:30:07.279 Yeah, I I think so. 00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:09.680 That needed you to be more out and made you go. 00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:18.799 What's a what's a memory of that that you have that you remember thinking, wait, now I'm craving love and affection in a different way? 00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:20.799 And was it via a crush? 00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:25.440 It was well, I'll put it via a crush for the because of the podcast. 00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:27.200 Classroom crush, if you if you're here. 00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:28.559 Because I'm a good student. 00:30:28.799 --> 00:30:29.039 Thanks. 00:30:29.279 --> 00:30:30.400 And I'm doing the assignment. 00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:35.119 I think we had this thing called the fifth grade luncheon at my elementary school. 00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:37.920 L-U-N-C-H-E-O-N. 00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:38.799 Exactly. 00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:41.599 Okay, and our finger and our pinkies are up. 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:42.640 Eluncion. 00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:45.359 And where is this exactly? 00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:46.240 This is Santa Monica. 00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:49.119 Okay, and you see me with my pinky up as well. 00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:51.839 No, I don't know if the

Santa Monica's like Santa Monica's fancy, yes. 00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:52.319 Okay, yeah. 00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:55.039 There are some parts of Santa Monica that are not, or they weren't. 00:30:55.200 --> 00:30:56.160 I don't know what it's like now. 00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:58.400 I haven't I barely ever go there. 00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:00.720 But they weren't when I was growing up. 00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:01.039 Yeah. 00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:03.279 Um, but I did not live in them. 00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:04.559 I lived in the nice part. 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:06.160 It's called Northside Santa Monica. 00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:08.319 Okay, you lived in the nice North Side Manitoba. 00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:10.559 I lived Northside, which is fancy. 00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:11.759 Has always been fancy. 00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:12.559 You're fancy. 00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:14.319 You're growing up a little fancy town. 00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:20.559 I would say that I grew up fancier adjacent. 00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:39.920 It's hard to say because my dad was like really was like a blue-collar guy who kind of like got rich in Hollywood and kind of like uh he kind of like hit it big when we were kids and never was like thought he had money ever. 00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:40.559 Sure. 00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:42.160 But it's undeniable that he did. 00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:43.839 He's like, I'm not one of those guys. 00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:48.240 Yeah, he was like a bartender up until he was like 43 years old. 00:31:48.720 --> 00:31:51.920 And then he started like selling movies, and then it was like, whoa shit. 00:31:52.240 --> 00:31:52.960 No, yeah, yeah. 00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:53.839 Different life. 00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:54.720 Different life. 00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:55.200 Okay. 00:31:55.599 --> 00:32:02.079 So I'm not trying to say that we we grew up, I grew up with money, but for some reason we never acted like it. 00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:03.279 Acted like it, yeah. 00:32:03.599 --> 00:32:11.279 I mean, a lot of rich people that did that didn't grow up rich, I do think like they're like, well, then I'm not gonna to spend it would be crazy. 00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:19.279 Well, and that's the thing is I think he lived his whole entire life like, well, it's so crazy to have scarcity mindset when you do have the abundance, you know what I mean? 00:32:19.359 --> 00:32:22.240 But that that's how capitalism is a crushing to us all, actually. 00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:22.880 That's true. 00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:23.440 Even the rich. 00:32:23.759 --> 00:32:24.640 Even the rich, yeah. 00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:29.279 Me and the top rich apologists of the podcast podcasting sphere. 00:32:29.519 --> 00:32:33.920 No, I just contain nuance about the way that these manifest in our human condition. 00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:39.519 No, but I actually think that by saying hopefully, even the rich people can be like, oh yeah, this is actually not good for me. 00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:45.920 Yeah, no, they I don't think they will because they're becoming too comfortable, is what I continue to understand, but being in LA County City love. 00:32:46.240 --> 00:32:50.799 Um but but I think that's uh that's what I'm at least trying to push, is hey, hello, it's not good for any of us. 00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:51.920 But you know, we'll see. 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:52.799 We'll see how things unfold. 00:32:53.039 --> 00:32:53.839 They're getting too rich. 00:32:54.160 --> 00:32:54.880 They're getting no rich. 00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:58.640 Now they're so rich that they do whatever the fuck they want and control whoever they want. 00:32:58.880 --> 00:32:59.279 Yeah. 00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:01.039 So and why would they stop doing that? 00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:02.400 Why would they stop doing that? 00:33:02.640 --> 00:33:12.960 That's what I'm starting to s realize is maybe I have to decenter trying to get people down to cut to understand what's going on down here because maybe over there they'd they I've been having this conversation. 00:33:13.039 --> 00:33:15.440 I'm like, oh wait, they just they just don't care. 00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:16.880 Up there, they just don't care. 00:33:17.200 --> 00:33:20.640 We don't you should definitely abandon trying to get them together. 00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:23.599 No, yeah, like I guess I guess I like for sure. 00:33:23.759 --> 00:33:30.240 Um, but it's just it's I'm just con I literally am constantly confronted with like, wow, they really don't care. 00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:34.400 Like it, like I don't know why it shocks me, but it's just like it call me crazy. 00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:35.119 I'm a dreamer. 00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:36.319 I'm a dreamer. 00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:40.000 Like, dang, nobody cares about their fellow man out here. 00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:41.039 You know, it's okay. 00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:41.759 That's true. 00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:42.480 It's okay. 00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:43.440 Moving on. 00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:44.799 Um, but you're not like that. 00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:48.160 You're you're you're you're you're you've been you've you're humbled by life. 00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:52.400 Yeah, I've been humbled my life. 00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:55.440 Okay, so you're you're you had a fifth grade luncheon. 00:33:55.759 --> 00:33:57.359 We had a thing grade luncheon. 00:33:57.440 --> 00:33:57.680 Yeah. 00:33:57.839 --> 00:34:02.400 And it was like a dance essentially, but I think we were too young for them to be like a dance. 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:03.680 That's privilege, though. 00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:05.599 To have a dance pre-eighth grade. 00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:05.920 Hello. 00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:06.960 Is that privilege, really? 00:34:07.039 --> 00:34:08.159 We were fifth grade. 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:09.199 This is pre-sixth grade. 00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:10.320 Like, that's what I'm saying. 00:34:10.400 --> 00:34:12.800 I'm like, I'm having crutches, crushes even before then. 00:34:12.960 -->

00:34:15.920 To have an opportunity for a dance at that age. 00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:16.320 Yeah. 00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:21.119 Actually, maybe it would, it's good that it didn't happen to me because I maybe I would have gotten rejected and had and just had more trauma. 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:21.599 You know what I mean? 00:34:21.760 --> 00:34:22.239 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:25.840 Well, but you're you're having uh you're having events and adventures. 00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:28.000 We were having events and adventures, end of the year. 00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:31.119 We had dances in sixth grade too, and seventh grade and eighth grade. 00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:37.760 Some people have it all the seventh, the sixth and seventh and eighth grade ones were actual torture, though, I think. 00:34:38.079 --> 00:34:40.719 Because at that point you're already in the prison of yourself. 00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:41.199 Yeah. 00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:43.920 So insecure and you're so horny. 00:34:44.079 --> 00:34:45.039 So horny, right? 00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:49.920 That you like can't control yourself, but you But you're grinding, you're doing it, you're letting it out one way or another. 00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:52.159 Sometimes you're grinding. 00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:55.199 What was the level of grind culture at the at your school? 00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:56.800 Santa Monica High School? 00:34:56.960 --> 00:34:57.360 Yeah. 00:34:57.760 --> 00:34:58.239 A hundred. 00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:00.400 A hundred percent grind culture. 00:35:00.719 --> 00:35:02.000 Uh if it's a scale out of ten. 00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:02.800 Ten. 00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:04.239 Or no, it was a hundred. 00:35:04.480 --> 00:35:04.719 A hundred. 00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:05.039 Got it. 00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:06.079 You grinded like crazy. 00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:06.320 Yeah. 00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:08.079 You want to hear a funny story about grinding? 00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:08.880 Of course, always. 00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:11.519 What so the the really great thing about grinding. 00:35:11.840 --> 00:35:13.519 Because I'm out here grinding. 00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:17.199 They talk about greatness whenever they speak about me. 00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:17.760 Go on. 00:35:17.920 --> 00:35:18.239 Okay. 00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:24.480 Is uh that you get a boner and you get to rub your boner on the person who's grinding on you's butt. 00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:24.960 Yes. 00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:25.280 Yes. 00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:27.519 Jonathan Braylock, we just discussed this. 00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:28.559 He said the same thing. 00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:30.880 Of course, he well, he was like looking back. 00:35:31.119 --> 00:35:33.360 Of course, I had a boner, and how could she have not known? 00:35:33.519 --> 00:35:33.599 Yes. 00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:34.239 You know, right? 00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:36.480 I not I was aware I had a boner. 00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:36.800 Yeah. 00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:37.840 How did you feel about it? 00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:40.079 And I liked rubbing it on their butts. 00:35:40.639 --> 00:35:44.320 And for the most part, I pretty much knew that they knew. 00:35:44.559 --> 00:35:48.880 Although, if I'm being totally honest, I didn't think about it. 00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:52.079 It wasn't for them. 00:35:54.000 --> 00:35:54.480 Wow. 00:35:54.639 --> 00:35:56.000 You heard it here first. 00:35:56.159 --> 00:35:57.760 It wasn't for them. 00:35:58.320 --> 00:35:59.599 It was for me. 00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:02.320 I wasn't thinking about that. 00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:02.800 Yeah. 00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:10.719 No, I don't think many people, I think, I think it was all um hormones, feelings, um, frictions. 00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:20.559 Um, you know, I'm not like, I haven't read I I'm not aware of of oppression, of the oppression of women. 00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:21.599 Uh, you know, I'm inside. 00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:37.760 Oh, you mean at that point you're not at that point I'm not thinking about You're not thinking about the patriarchy and how it might be manifesting in your, you know, where's the well and here's a question we have to ask where's the where's consent in the in the eighth in the eighth grade grinding conga line. 00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:38.320 Exactly. 00:36:38.480 --> 00:36:39.679 You know, does it exist? 00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:42.079 I wonder if they're grinding out here today. 00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:42.880 Do you think they are? 00:36:43.039 --> 00:36:43.280 I don't know. 00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:44.239 I think they are. 00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:44.800 I think they are. 00:36:45.039 --> 00:36:48.239 I think it's sort of like it does, it's just like a movement that has to happen. 00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:53.280 But here's the thing, I wasn't really grinding, I didn't really have the opportunities to grind. 00:36:53.519 --> 00:37:09.679 I remember um like my my my friend's like 13th birthday or something, or 14th birthday that I was at with her friend or her school friends from her school, and they were big grind culture, different schools. 00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:10.639 So you were friends with people. 00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:14.079 Well, I mean, she when I say my friend, she's my aunt, but she's a year older than me. 00:37:14.239 --> 00:37:14.800 I have that too. 00:37:14.960 --> 00:37:15.360 Oh, you do? 00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:19.840 Well, I have a niece who's like eight, well, ten years younger than me. 00:37:22.719 --> 00:37:23.280 Actually, 12. 00:37:23.920 --> 00:37:24.800 No, actually not that. 00:37:25.119 --> 00:37:27.599 She's actually 15 years younger than me. 00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:34.880 But it does feel, it does feel it felt like one year. 00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:41.440 Well, it is kind of weird to be like, oh, like I hang out with her and we go to bars, and I'm like, Well, now at this point, yeah. 00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:41.920 Yeah. 00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:44.400 But she's like a fully grown. 00:37:45.039 -->

00:37:47.039 She's a grown nieces grow up. 00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:47.679 It's crazy. 00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:52.719 No, but I'm not like old enough to have a full I shouldn't have enough. 00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:53.920 I understand what you're talking about. 00:37:54.079 --> 00:37:55.280 Okay, okay, you see where I'm coming from. 00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:55.519 Okay. 00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:58.159 It is different than she was one year older than me. 00:37:58.400 --> 00:37:58.800 No, no, no. 00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:00.800 We have we had when I was growing up. 00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:02.639 We had guys who would come to the party with their uncle. 00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:07.119 Yeah, and it's like that was like I was that to her, but she so she's in a different school. 00:38:07.199 --> 00:38:16.719 And I remember her birthday was Crying Culture, and like there was one guy in her like class that came that I kind of had a crush on it, and then I was like, ooh, it was a little bit of grind nation, but I was shy about it. 00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:18.880 I think I was shy about it, you know? 00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:21.039 I'm like, I don't know what we're supposed to do. 00:38:21.199 --> 00:38:28.239 I know that I that I I know that, and that's what's it's like was I out here on on YouTube.com girls grinding? 00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:28.639 Yes. 00:38:29.280 --> 00:38:30.239 You were of course. 00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:32.000 And am I the am I the only one that I know of? 00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:32.480 No. 00:38:32.639 --> 00:38:32.880 No. 00:38:33.039 --> 00:38:40.320 We were all looking up grinding of all and and and no matter where your sexuality on the spectrum was, probably at some point you looked up girls kissing. 00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:42.159 That's not true, not every single person. 00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:45.119 But a lot of people did look up girls kissing on YouTube. 00:38:46.239 --> 00:38:47.679 Yeah, early YouTube, just girls kissing. 00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:56.480 Why not just because early, because early before you're like, oh, a porn site, even before that, you're thinking dudes were looking at porn. 00:38:56.719 --> 00:39:11.360 I mean, well, I mean, I saw porn for the first time in well, no, actually what it was is I saw porn for the first time when I was eight by accident, and then on purpose, and then I was looking at it, and then I got caught, and then that was traumatizing, and then I was like, well, now I gotta be careful about this porn stuff because I know about it. 00:39:11.519 --> 00:39:12.480 So then youtube.com. 00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:15.920 Then you could go and then you can't really get in trouble for youtube.com. 00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:17.119 Not really until you can. 00:39:17.840 --> 00:39:20.079 Until the search histories reveal a little too much, you know. 00:39:20.400 --> 00:39:23.840 But did the search but when do you learn that you can delete your search history? 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:24.320 What age? 00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:26.639

No, no, like never. 00:39:26.719 --> 00:39:28.400 I I I don't, I just get a laptop. 00:39:29.199 --> 00:39:30.559 Once I get a laptop, things are different. 00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:32.239 So your parents let you have a laptop. 00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:34.079 Well, I mean, but that's that's later. 00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:34.559 That's later. 00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:36.000 No, no, no. 00:39:36.159 --> 00:39:38.079 Like, well, I mean, I used to talk about it. 00:39:40.800 --> 00:39:42.079 So I had throughout my whole experience. 00:39:42.400 --> 00:39:43.599 Well, because you're a devilish boy. 00:39:43.679 --> 00:39:43.840 No. 00:39:44.239 --> 00:39:46.719 I mean, I it is different if you're a guy, probably. 00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:49.440 If you're a little bit of a couple of things, I got caught a couple times. 00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:51.280 I got caught porn young. 00:39:51.440 --> 00:39:58.400 I got caught like looking up stuff on like the computer before I realized I could delete the the history or whatever. 00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:09.039 But I think and that in the interim of getting a laptop and the compute the home computer, that's when I would I used to call on my phone sex lines. 00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:09.760 Whoa, nice. 00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:12.480 But I would like pay for them and just like listen to the intro. 00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:18.559 So I would just like be there like, hmm, what could be one 1-800 sex sexy ass? 00:40:18.800 --> 00:40:19.360 Sexy ass. 00:40:19.519 --> 00:40:20.960 You know, boobs sex. 00:40:21.440 --> 00:40:24.079 I'm still calling 1-800 sexy ass. 00:40:24.639 --> 00:40:27.199 1-8888 blow job. 00:40:28.079 --> 00:40:28.400 You know what I mean? 00:40:28.719 --> 00:40:30.400 They're like, and you know what's so funny? 00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:32.159 Many should I say it's online. 00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:40.960 I don't know why I wouldn't really I we many, many, many years later, I would then audition for a podcast thing where I would play a phone sex operator from Miami. 00:40:41.119 --> 00:40:41.280 Whoa. 00:40:41.519 --> 00:40:48.880 I said, I have I have like like and like the day in the life of a phone sex operator, and I would do phone sex calls kind of pretty much as the scenes. 00:40:49.039 --> 00:40:51.760 And I said, I um have experience. 00:40:51.840 --> 00:40:52.400 I remember this. 00:40:52.639 --> 00:40:52.880 Wow. 00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:54.800 And so you were doing research even when I was a little bit. 00:40:54.880 --> 00:40:56.239 I did research before I even knew that. 00:40:56.639 --> 00:40:59.599 That's what happens if your mom's like, why so happens when you stay ready? 00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:02.559 You don't gotta get ready, okay, for your phone sex line job. 00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:05.920 You're like, how do I reach out for a double? 00:41:06.320 --> 00:41:09.440 Listen, one day I'm gonna be on a wonder podcast, all right? 00:41:10.719 --> 00:41:12.079 You don't understand what it means to be. 00:41:12.480 --> 00:41:14.559 First thing I've ever auditioned for unbooked. 00:41:14.639 --> 00:41:16.400 I don't know what that means about me. 00:41:16.639 --> 00:41:18.000 I think it means you found your type. 00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:19.679 I kind of, yeah, unfortunately. 00:41:20.079 --> 00:41:20.880 Stop questioning. 00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:22.719 Yeah. 00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:26.239 Anybody want to give me a job, a real acting job? 00:41:26.400 --> 00:41:28.000 Anyways, okay, back to you. 00:41:28.159 --> 00:41:31.119 Um, so you're getting so you become shy. 00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:33.440 Who's the crush in your fifth grade luncheon? 00:41:33.840 --> 00:41:36.079 Uh I I do I have to say their name? 00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:38.400 You could make up a name. 00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:41.039 Yeah, because they follow me on Instagram. 00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:42.000 Yeah, you think of a different name. 00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:43.039 You still talk to them. 00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:44.639 Think of a different name. 00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:46.960 It's so funny because it's like Suzanne. 00:41:47.280 --> 00:41:49.599 All of a sudden the hardest thing in the world is to think of a name, right? 00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:50.559 That's not hers. 00:41:50.639 --> 00:41:51.599 Is her name Suzanne? 00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:53.199 I hit it in the nail on the head. 00:41:53.519 --> 00:41:56.239 What's the what's the what's the vibe of her? 00:41:56.559 --> 00:41:57.840 Her name was not Suzanne. 00:41:58.079 --> 00:41:58.880 Uh, what was her vibe? 00:41:59.039 --> 00:41:59.440 I think so. 00:41:59.519 --> 00:41:59.840 That's what I'm saying. 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:01.920 Quirky alt quirky alt girl. 00:42:02.159 --> 00:42:03.599 Quirky art alt girl. 00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:04.239 Stella. 00:42:04.639 --> 00:42:04.880 Okay. 00:42:05.039 --> 00:42:05.519 I like that. 00:42:05.599 --> 00:42:06.000 I like that. 00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:07.760 That's like in the genre. 00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:09.039 Yeah, yeah, that's in the genre. 00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:11.360 I mean, her she had a quirky name. 00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:13.280 It is not Stella, but Stella was. 00:42:13.519 --> 00:42:15.360 She'll tell me after, and we'll be like, I'll tell you after. 00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:15.679 Yeah. 00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:17.840 And like she is also kind of like maybe a little famous now. 00:42:18.159 --> 00:42:20.559 Actually, tell me right now and I'll bleep it out so we can get our genuine reaction. 00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:21.760 Are you actually gonna bleep it? 00:42:21.840 --> 00:42:22.800 I will actually bleep it. 00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:24.000 I literally will. 00:42:24.239 --> 00:42:25.199 I beep, I bleep. 00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:26.559 And I'm gonna put a bar over your mouth. 00:42:26.719 --> 00:42:26.880 Really? 00:42:27.119 --> 00:42:28.480 Well, that sounds like a lot, but I'll do it. 00:42:28.639 --> 00:42:29.360 I don't think you have to put the bar. 00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:29.840 I'll just

put it back. 00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:30.719 Yeah, like this. 00:42:33.519 --> 00:42:35.840 Oh my god, I had one of those in my school. 00:42:36.159 --> 00:42:38.400 And there's very much like, oh, an allure, like, ooh, la la. 00:42:38.960 --> 00:42:39.199 Very cool. 00:42:39.440 --> 00:42:39.920 She's very cool. 00:42:40.239 --> 00:42:41.599 Cool's that girl, you know? 00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:43.199 Okay, so Stella. 00:42:43.599 --> 00:42:44.320 So Stella. 00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:45.599 So Stella is. 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:46.960 Wow, that was smooth. 00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:47.519 Thank you. 00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:49.440 I've been doing this since 2017. 00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:55.840 Um, okay, so so you're is she standing out to you because she's a quirky art girl? 00:42:56.480 --> 00:42:57.360 Good question. 00:42:58.079 --> 00:43:01.360 Uh no, I don't think I I it was like I was refined enough. 00:43:01.519 --> 00:43:04.159 I think she just was like talking to me. 00:43:04.639 --> 00:43:05.199 She talked to you. 00:43:05.360 --> 00:43:06.639 And I also think she had a crush on me. 00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:07.679 Okay, why do you think? 00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:12.800 Because this is actually a story that this girl made fun of me for years. 00:43:14.320 --> 00:43:15.039 No, no, in a fun way. 00:43:15.199 --> 00:43:15.280 Yeah. 00:43:15.760 --> 00:43:16.239 She was my friend. 00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:16.719 Okay. 00:43:16.960 --> 00:43:22.400 Uh she was like, this girl was like a really close friend of hers, and I was like, oh, I think Stella has a crush on me. 00:43:22.480 --> 00:43:23.199 And she was like, Why? 00:43:23.519 --> 00:43:28.320 And I was like, uh, because she I sat behind her in a class. 00:43:28.400 --> 00:43:28.719 Uh-huh. 00:43:29.119 --> 00:43:33.119 In class, and whenever she would turn around to get something from her backpack, we would make eye contact. 00:43:33.440 --> 00:43:34.239 Because you were looking. 00:43:34.400 --> 00:43:34.480 Yeah. 00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:35.599 You were waiting. 00:43:35.920 --> 00:43:37.679 You were just waiting for her to turn around. 00:43:37.920 --> 00:43:39.679 I would just stare at her at the back of her head. 00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:40.559 At the back of her head. 00:43:40.639 --> 00:43:40.960 Totally. 00:43:41.199 --> 00:43:44.880 And uh yes, and if she turned around and then and then I'd immediately look away, like caught. 00:43:45.039 --> 00:43:45.199 Yeah. 00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:48.320 And I told her that, and this girl thought that was the funniest thing in the world. 00:43:48.400 --> 00:43:51.280 She's like, That doesn't mean she likes you, it just means she's getting something from her backpack. 00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:52.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:53.840 And then for years, years, years. 00:43:54.400 --> 00:44:01.519 Uh up until we were in college, she would be like, Oh, someone's turning around and That was really funny. 00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:04.000 That is funny, but I'm

like not wrong. 00:44:04.079 --> 00:44:07.440 I'm like, if I could if you're catching the eye contact, I would think so. 00:44:07.679 --> 00:44:09.599 Sometimes three to four times a day. 00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:10.639 So was it true? 00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:16.800 No, I do I think I was So this is the thing that messed me up and it took me years to recover from it. 00:44:17.119 --> 00:44:17.440 Let's go. 00:44:17.679 --> 00:44:22.880 I think I did kind of get confirmation that she would go to the fifth grade luncheon with me if I asked, but I didn't ask. 00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:27.920 What do you mean you think so so someone asked and you you had a little bit like she does have a crush on you? 00:44:28.320 --> 00:44:33.840 And you you were like I could do this, but I'm not gonna do this. 00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:36.320 Well, I think I was like, I can't do this. 00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:37.280 Why? 00:44:37.599 --> 00:44:38.880 Because I was pressure's on. 00:44:39.119 --> 00:44:41.199 Afraid, yeah, pressure's on, afraid of rejection. 00:44:41.679 --> 00:44:43.119 Had you been rejected before? 00:44:43.679 --> 00:44:44.000 No, no. 00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:44.960 I was in fifth grade. 00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:45.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:44:46.079 --> 00:44:48.159 I mean, I had I been rejected before, sure. 00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:51.679 Well, you know, then by who by what? 00:44:51.920 --> 00:44:54.320 By our first our first relationship. 00:44:54.639 --> 00:44:56.159 Which was your first relationship? 00:44:56.400 --> 00:44:58.559 No, I uh your mom, your mom. 00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:02.079 Your mom, you'd been rejected by oh right. 00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:03.519 I forgot that I'm therapy. 00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:05.920 Um yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:45:06.079 --> 00:45:07.039 In which ways? 00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:11.920 No, I I wasn't really rejected by my mom. 00:45:12.320 --> 00:45:15.119 Hey, folks, you brought it up, not me. 00:45:16.559 --> 00:45:16.880 Okay. 00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:20.639 Well, this is why I asked who were you being before. 00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:25.440 So who were you being like before this this crush? 00:45:25.519 --> 00:45:28.000 Like this, are you are you being funny boy? 00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:30.079 Are you before shyness overtakes you? 00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:30.880 No, no, no. 00:45:31.199 --> 00:45:32.400 I was not funny boy yet. 00:45:32.559 --> 00:45:32.719 Okay. 00:45:32.960 --> 00:45:34.719 Funny boy was not until high school. 00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:35.599 I was coping. 00:45:36.239 --> 00:45:37.119 Funny boy was coping. 00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:39.679 I was uh no, I was funny and like goofy. 00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:46.400 But I think once like oh shit, I wanna like be like hold that person's hand. 00:45:47.840 --> 00:45:48.719 What was that at that point? 00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:49.920 That's a really good question. 00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:54.400 What were you like into when I was a little bit more? 00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:55.760 What were your friends like? 00:45:56.800 --> 00:45:58.000 Did you have friends? 00:45:58.320 --> 00:45:59.519 I had friends. 00:45:59.760 --> 00:46:02.639 Mostly we were into sports. 00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:04.559 Big public schools. 00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:04.960 Okay. 00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:07.280 Santa Monica has really big public schools. 00:46:07.840 --> 00:46:08.159 Got it. 00:46:08.639 --> 00:46:12.079 So where are you in the like, are there clicks in that way? 00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:15.360 Because I always I always went to small schools. 00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:18.239 So even if there were like clicks, it was like not really. 00:46:18.400 --> 00:46:20.559 You know, there's like it was like there's 45 of us. 00:46:20.639 --> 00:46:21.599 There's not much you could do. 00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:24.559 Yeah, but there wasn't like popular kids yet, because we're still really young. 00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:25.199 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:46:25.599 --> 00:46:26.559 Still fifth grade. 00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:28.559 So you were into sports with your friends? 00:46:28.719 --> 00:46:32.239 I think me and my sports we were mostly into into like the Dodgers. 00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:32.880 Mm-hmm. 00:46:33.119 --> 00:46:33.280 Yeah. 00:46:33.519 --> 00:46:35.199 Okay, you're just like being little Rap Scallion boys. 00:46:35.360 --> 00:46:46.000 Being a little Rap Scallion boys, running around Dodgers, and then Lakers also at the time were really, really good, but I didn't like them because I was uh, you know, counter counter-cultural. 00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:48.239 So you were a contrarian from the start. 00:46:48.559 --> 00:46:49.119 From the start, yes. 00:46:49.760 --> 00:46:51.840 Okay, so we're getting a picture here. 00:46:52.320 --> 00:46:53.840 We're drawing the outline. 00:46:54.559 --> 00:46:55.840 A little rabble rouser. 00:46:56.079 --> 00:46:57.199 A little rabble rouser. 00:46:57.280 --> 00:46:58.400 I definitely, yeah. 00:46:58.960 --> 00:47:00.320 I got into a little trouble. 00:47:00.559 --> 00:47:00.880 Okay. 00:47:01.440 --> 00:47:03.039 Did you feel confined at home? 00:47:03.199 --> 00:47:04.480 Were you trying to break free? 00:47:04.880 --> 00:47:05.679 Totally confined. 00:47:06.719 --> 00:47:07.760 My parents are were strict. 00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:08.239 Okay. 00:47:09.599 --> 00:47:09.760 Yes. 00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:11.280 Strict about like what kind of stuff? 00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:12.639 Leaving the house. 00:47:13.199 --> 00:47:14.880 Watching TV, video games, stuff like that. 00:47:15.039 --> 00:47:16.559 You weren't allowed to watch what you wanted to watch and stuff? 00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:18.079 We weren't allowed to watch TV, period. 00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:18.960 Period. 00:47:19.199 --> 00:47:19.840 Why? 00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:23.920 Were they protecting you from was it, it's not, is it is it giving religious? 00:47:24.079 --> 00:47:25.920 Is it giving because not religious? 00:47:26.239 --> 00:47:28.559 It's more just like you

should be doing your homework. 00:47:29.599 --> 00:47:30.719 High standards. 00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:33.840 Yeah, but then it's like, but kind of. 00:47:34.400 --> 00:47:35.599 But then it's okay. 00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:37.039 We we love them and we have grace. 00:47:37.280 --> 00:47:37.920 No, no, of course. 00:47:38.800 --> 00:47:39.360 No, no, no. 00:47:39.440 --> 00:47:45.039 This I I actually um the no TV thing, it's funny because when I tell people that, they go, whoa, that must have sucked. 00:47:45.119 --> 00:47:46.559 It didn't really I don't know. 00:47:46.639 --> 00:47:47.360 It was pretty neutral. 00:47:47.599 --> 00:47:51.280 We got to watch uh TV on the weekends, just not during the week. 00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:51.760 Okay. 00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:54.719 And then we did get to watch an hour on Friday. 00:47:55.119 --> 00:47:55.760 Ooh, crazy. 00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:57.199 Or were you watching on that? 00:47:57.440 --> 00:47:58.159 TGIF. 00:47:58.400 --> 00:47:58.559 Okay. 00:47:58.880 --> 00:47:59.280 You're too young. 00:47:59.440 --> 00:48:00.000 No, I'm too young. 00:48:00.159 --> 00:48:00.719 Yeah, you're too young. 00:48:00.800 --> 00:48:01.039 You wouldn't. 00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:01.840 You wouldn't even know. 00:48:01.920 --> 00:48:04.960 It was like To me, I'm like, that's because I'm chili cheese fries. 00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:05.920 We got pizza. 00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:06.639 We would order pizza. 00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:08.079 I'm just talking about TGI Fridays. 00:48:08.239 --> 00:48:11.360 Oh I don't even know if that's a TGI Fridays thing. 00:48:11.519 --> 00:48:13.199 I should have said Bolton Lava Cake. 00:48:13.280 --> 00:48:14.159 That's TGI Fridays. 00:48:14.239 --> 00:48:15.440 Or is it Chili's, or is it both? 00:48:15.599 --> 00:48:18.320 But do you my dad made TGI Fridays famous? 00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:20.639 What do you mean? 00:48:22.239 --> 00:48:27.840 My dad made TGI Fridays famous and they invite him to saying it again doesn't explain it. 00:48:28.159 --> 00:48:32.159 My dad wrote a movie about a bartender. 00:48:32.639 --> 00:48:34.159 Are you gonna just tell me what the movie is? 00:48:34.239 --> 00:48:35.360 The movie's called Cocktail. 00:48:35.599 --> 00:48:35.840 Okay. 00:48:36.239 --> 00:48:36.880 Have you heard of it? 00:48:37.039 --> 00:48:37.360 Yes. 00:48:37.519 --> 00:48:37.840 Okay. 00:48:38.800 --> 00:48:42.639 With with our with the king of the church of our state. 00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:43.199 Exactly. 00:48:43.599 --> 00:48:44.239 The king of a church. 00:48:44.480 --> 00:48:47.039 And notice how I don't say his name because maybe I'm scared. 00:48:47.199 --> 00:48:47.440 Yeah, yeah. 00:48:48.239 --> 00:48:49.840 Well, I'm not scared of anybody. 00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:54.079 They probably have some algorithm where everybody find me. 00:48:54.320 --> 00:48:54.559 Yes. 00:48:54.719 --> 00:48:54.880 Yeah. 00:48:55.280 --> 00:48:58.960 Every time his name is said online, it like probably pops up

on some computer something. 00:48:59.199 --> 00:49:01.280 When my mom was here, she was like, Do you want to with my brother? 00:49:01.440 --> 00:49:03.519 She was like, Do you want to go in the thing of Scientology? 00:49:03.679 --> 00:49:05.199 Maybe my brother are like, No. 00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:05.679 Yeah, yeah. 00:49:05.840 --> 00:49:07.199 We don't want what could they? 00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:08.960 We don't want to step into that building. 00:49:09.119 --> 00:49:09.599 I don't know what. 00:49:09.679 --> 00:49:11.280 I don't know what they all got going on in there. 00:49:11.679 --> 00:49:12.960 Do you want to know something really fucked up? 00:49:13.039 --> 00:49:13.679 Yeah, always. 00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:16.000 I have a friend who has a friend. 00:49:16.239 --> 00:49:17.199 This is from this is a friend. 00:49:17.519 --> 00:49:18.719 Friend of a friend of a friend. 00:49:19.039 --> 00:49:23.199 Who was like jokingly, I'm gonna go in there and pretend like I want to join. 00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:24.639 And then they never left. 00:49:24.880 --> 00:49:26.320 They kept him there for two days. 00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:28.000 I'm say see, that's what I'm saying. 00:49:28.079 --> 00:49:29.519 It's exactly what I'm saying. 00:49:29.760 --> 00:49:38.320 And he um uh what they do is they'll say if you walk in, you say you're interested, they show you like a this is what I heard secondhand. 00:49:38.719 --> 00:49:42.079 They show you like a two-hour movie to just kind of like get you in. 00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:43.840 And then they're like, oh, so cool. 00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:45.039 You guys are probably hungry. 00:49:45.119 --> 00:49:51.519 So then they have like a communal meal, and then you they're like talking to you about the church, and then they're like, Hey, come talk to this person. 00:49:51.679 --> 00:49:59.280 And it is just like a thing like that, and they just have you moving from room to room to the point where you feel like you can't say, I want to leave. 00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:01.760 Yeah, and then you find yourself so deep in the building. 00:50:02.639 --> 00:50:04.800 No, literally, yes, yes, that's how it works. 00:50:04.880 --> 00:50:10.320 You get deep abuses, you get deeper and deeper into an endless building of which you cannot find the windows anymore. 00:50:10.480 --> 00:50:10.639 Right. 00:50:10.800 --> 00:50:17.039 And then they've and then something about that maze makes you think, were there ever did I ever not exist here? 00:50:17.119 --> 00:50:17.360 Right. 00:50:17.519 --> 00:50:19.679 How do I even get back to where I once was? 00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:30.079 Yeah, and then he said that the guy at some point somehow was looking for something or something happened where he and this is like really dramatic. 00:50:30.159 --> 00:50:41.679 So I don't know how I don't know how true this is, but he said that he like somehow found his way back to the front lobby and looked and saw the front door, and like it seeing the front

door like knocked him out of his trance. 00:50:41.840 --> 00:50:44.639 Wow, and then he said he ran to the front door. 00:50:44.800 --> 00:50:45.360 I believe it. 00:50:45.599 --> 00:50:49.599 And he said that he thought that the peop the Scientology people would try to chase him and be like, wait, wait, come back. 00:50:49.679 --> 00:50:51.280 But he said they were just like, Oh, there goes another one. 00:50:51.360 --> 00:50:52.079 There goes another one. 00:50:52.239 --> 00:50:52.639 Yep. 00:50:53.039 --> 00:50:55.440 I believe it 100%. 00:50:57.199 --> 00:50:59.920 I was thinking, I was talking about Elizabeth Moss the other day. 00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:06.320 I was just like, there's a lot of them that are still there are a lot of them because there's this one girl who loves to talk about them, about the the, you know, on Instagram. 00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:10.000 Oh, and nice where she'll just be like, Do you know that this person is like a level five? 00:51:10.079 --> 00:51:11.519 And I'm like, I did not know that. 00:51:11.599 --> 00:51:12.159 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:51:12.159 --> 00:51:17.840 But that does paint my entire picture of them now, like one way or another, it kind of does, you know. 00:51:18.559 --> 00:51:21.519 Have you ever read um Leah Remney's book? 00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:28.880 No, I mean I saw Going Clear and was obsessed with Going Clear when it was I wasn't so obsessed with going clear where I was like, I want to watch that thing again. 00:51:29.360 --> 00:51:32.719 Like I had that with Going Clear and the Jinx for some reason. 00:51:32.800 --> 00:51:34.719 I was like, that was rewatchable. 00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:37.119 Well, the Jinx, though both those were both incredible. 00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:37.599 Yeah. 00:51:37.760 --> 00:51:39.760 Rewatchable documentaries is so funny. 00:51:39.840 --> 00:51:40.079 I know. 00:51:41.119 --> 00:51:42.239 Weird, but it's true. 00:51:43.679 --> 00:51:45.360 This is my fifth time watching the jinx. 00:51:46.000 --> 00:51:47.119 Well, that's like kind of how I am. 00:51:47.199 --> 00:51:51.599 Like, like real, real Rebecca Heads, and that's I'm just that's what they're called now. 00:51:51.760 --> 00:51:52.480 They're fans of me. 00:51:52.639 --> 00:51:53.280 They're Rebecca Heads. 00:51:53.440 --> 00:51:55.280 I just yeah, the Rebecca Heads. 00:51:55.360 --> 00:51:56.559 It's an official title. 00:51:56.719 --> 00:52:00.159 Well, no, that's how I I'm like obsessed with Spotlight, the film. 00:52:00.400 --> 00:52:02.079 And that's kind of how I feel with it. 00:52:02.159 --> 00:52:09.840 Where like I've seen Spotlight like six times, but it's almost like a movie, at least but it's kind of like watching a documentary, also, because it's just a thing, it's just like the thing. 00:52:10.079 --> 00:52:11.519 Yeah, but Mark Ruffalo is it. 00:52:11.840 --> 00:52:13.599 But Mark Ruffalo, but that's the thing. 00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:20.159 Some of these characters, like Robert Durst, have some as

it gives exactly the amount of charisma as Mark Ruffalo. 00:52:20.320 --> 00:52:21.360 We have to we can't lie. 00:52:21.599 --> 00:52:22.159 Oh, totally. 00:52:22.800 --> 00:52:24.400 Well, that's why it's why that's so good. 00:52:25.199 --> 00:52:27.760 Have you seen the movie about Robert Durst starring Ryan Gosling? 00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:28.639 No. 00:52:28.800 --> 00:52:29.599 Which one is that one? 00:52:29.760 --> 00:52:30.079 It's good. 00:52:30.159 --> 00:52:31.039 The what's it called again? 00:52:31.519 --> 00:52:33.039 Directed by the guy who directed the jinx. 00:52:33.280 --> 00:52:35.599 No, no, I know, I know, because I know that that was like the whole thing. 00:52:35.679 --> 00:52:35.920 Yeah, yeah. 00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:38.400 But I'm like, oh, that's right, the whole thing's right there. 00:52:38.559 --> 00:52:39.280 I mean, yeah. 00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:41.280 We we should not talk about Robert Durst. 00:52:41.440 --> 00:52:43.360 Oh my god, we were trying to talk about you. 00:52:43.599 --> 00:52:45.280 We're talking about it. 00:52:45.360 --> 00:52:49.119 And we're talking about grinding and your shyness that overcame you. 00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:56.079 Well, so okay, I wanna like when you realize that you have a crush on Stella, did you feel like that you realized it? 00:52:56.559 --> 00:52:58.239 That you're like, oh, this is a crush? 00:52:58.800 --> 00:52:59.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:53:00.400 --> 00:53:02.800 And were you instantly like, this is scary to me? 00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:03.360 Uh yes. 00:53:04.639 --> 00:53:05.280 And it makes me nervous. 00:53:05.519 --> 00:53:06.079 And it makes you nervous. 00:53:06.320 --> 00:53:06.880 This makes me nervous. 00:53:07.199 --> 00:53:11.760 What was making were you like have like what was making you nervous about it? 00:53:11.840 --> 00:53:19.280 The idea of the rejection, were you having like like were you even imagining yourself like approaching a thing? 00:53:19.519 --> 00:53:23.760 Like, would you even would you even think about like trying to talk to her or whatever? 00:53:24.079 --> 00:53:24.960 Or were you automatically? 00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:28.320 I think I was obsessed with trying to talk to her, and I think that's what like alternative. 00:53:28.639 --> 00:53:29.840 Did you try it at all? 00:53:30.159 --> 00:53:31.360 Yeah, I think I tried. 00:53:31.519 --> 00:53:31.840 Okay. 00:53:32.159 --> 00:53:33.440 Not as much as I should have. 00:53:33.760 --> 00:53:41.920 And I do think we did have some like natural just like interactions, just because we had friendly mutual friends, and you were like sitting behind her and stuff, yeah. 00:53:42.320 --> 00:53:43.039 Smelling her air. 00:53:43.119 --> 00:53:43.360 Yeah. 00:53:43.519 --> 00:53:43.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:53:44.079 --> 00:53:44.960 She didn't know I was there. 00:53:45.199 --> 00:53:45.519 Yeah. 00:53:46.079 --> 00:53:46.559 She knew. 00:53:46.639 --> 00:53:48.320 I mean, she didn't aware. 00:53:48.960 -->

00:53:50.880 Uh similar, yeah. 00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:52.400 No, we had a good uh, we talked. 00:53:52.480 --> 00:53:55.360 We had a good um, we had a good banter. 00:53:55.840 --> 00:54:01.519 So when you find out that maybe she could even be interested, what's the process for you? 00:54:01.599 --> 00:54:02.239 Do you think? 00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:11.199 Are you like, is I my question for you is are you ever like giving yourselves even the space to have a little bit of hope for it? 00:54:11.440 --> 00:54:12.079 No, never. 00:54:12.320 --> 00:54:17.280 Never why because we live in a hopeless world. 00:54:17.440 --> 00:54:22.079 I I knew even then we lived in a hopeless world where nothing good happened. 00:54:22.320 --> 00:54:24.480 So even in fifth grade, I knew that. 00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:27.119 What do you think was affirming that for you? 00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:29.840 Just the state of the world? 00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:31.760 Your mom, what's going on? 00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:40.719 She's not were you trying to how are you how are you like a well that's why I wonder like how are you appealing to people at that point? 00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:43.039 Like your mom or a friend. 00:54:43.679 --> 00:54:46.960 Cause I'm like, I know I was always doing a little show trying to make them laugh. 00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:48.960 You know, I wasn't doing that at that point. 00:54:49.199 --> 00:54:53.280 Were you like, I heard this this I heard about this article. 00:54:53.360 --> 00:54:57.039 Like, were you trying to appeal intellectually were you make like I'm like a smart boy? 00:54:57.199 --> 00:54:58.079 Or you know what I mean? 00:54:58.239 --> 00:55:00.719 No, no, I was like, or are you trying to be a good boy? 00:55:00.880 --> 00:55:03.760 I don't think it had occurred to me yet that I had to do that. 00:55:04.400 --> 00:55:06.880 I was still too I was still too young to be. 00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:09.679 Well, I mean, you should in unconditional love should be, you know what I mean? 00:55:09.840 --> 00:55:12.159 But I should have had that. 00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:16.400 No, you shouldn't have to think of how to appease to to at least, you know. 00:55:16.719 --> 00:55:17.119 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:55:17.360 --> 00:55:20.079 I mean, but that uh that is true for all of us. 00:55:20.480 --> 00:55:27.440 I'm trying to think if I was like Do I have to spit game? 00:55:28.079 --> 00:55:31.599 I don't think I realized about spitting game until a year or two later. 00:55:32.719 --> 00:55:37.599 I think if we're talking about the very, very first crush, the idea of like being like, so what's up? 00:55:37.679 --> 00:55:38.559 Like, what do you do? 00:55:38.639 --> 00:55:39.280 How was your day? 00:55:39.599 --> 00:55:40.400 Didn't even occur to me. 00:55:41.920 --> 00:55:44.880 Yeah, I still think I probably thought I had to be funny. 00:55:45.360 --> 00:55:52.480 When you are getting older, do you find your way out of that type of shyness? 00:55:52.639 --> 00:55:57.440 Or like in high school, do you have like a crush or a girlfriend or anything? 00:55:57.760 --> 00:55:58.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:55:58.400 --> 00:56:00.320 In high school, so I got really lucky. 00:56:00.400 --> 00:56:03.199 My older brother was like one of the most popular kids in school. 00:56:03.440 --> 00:56:03.679 Okay. 00:56:03.920 --> 00:56:09.199 So I just kind of got adopted into the popular kids, even though they didn't really like me. 00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:12.159 Everything's handed to this guy. 00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:15.440 I mean, it is kind of true. 00:56:15.679 --> 00:56:20.000 Even though they didn't particularly like me very much and I wasn't cool enough. 00:56:20.559 --> 00:56:21.760 You're the younger brother? 00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:24.480 I was his younger brother, yes. 00:56:25.519 --> 00:56:39.039 Uh so I kind of just got adopted in just out of like people hoping to have proximity to my brother, which got me into got me at parties and stuff that I would not have been at without my brother. 00:56:40.960 --> 00:56:44.480 Which made certain women just kind of be like, Well, then he must be. 00:56:44.639 --> 00:56:45.760 I mean, I'm almost positive. 00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:51.199 In fact, I kind of noticed because she told me that the girl who took my virginity was just kind of like, eh, why not? 00:56:51.360 --> 00:56:51.760 Yeah. 00:56:52.079 --> 00:56:52.639 Interesting. 00:56:52.880 --> 00:57:03.039 No, I mean, that's kind of how my that I mean, that's kind of how I lost my virginity, where it was sort of like we were already there, and he was like, he was like, Have you had sex before? 00:57:03.119 --> 00:57:07.119 And I was like, No, but I'm trying to get I'm like, but workle, bye bye. 00:57:07.199 --> 00:57:08.079 I'm gonna get rid of it. 00:57:08.159 --> 00:57:09.519 And he's like, okay. 00:57:10.159 --> 00:57:11.199 I was like, all right. 00:57:11.440 --> 00:57:12.639 And then we and then I looked at it. 00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:14.800 But you were like, we're cool, as in I don't want to have sex with you. 00:57:15.039 --> 00:57:17.679 No, I I was like, I was like, I'm trying to get rid of that thing. 00:57:17.840 --> 00:57:19.760 Oh, doesn't have you know. 00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:23.280 I said my V card, you think it I said, I'm over it. 00:57:23.360 --> 00:57:24.880 Yeah, get it out of here, you know. 00:57:25.119 --> 00:57:31.920 But wasn't I'm like it wasn't a heavy-weighted uh decision for him or either of us at the time. 00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:32.960 It was just kind of like, hey. 00:57:33.199 --> 00:57:34.079 Well, I was so pumped. 00:57:34.400 --> 00:57:35.440 You were pumped to do it to get it. 00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:37.280 Well, especially with this girl, she was really hot. 00:57:37.519 --> 00:57:39.280 She was a hot girl, yeah, and she was a popular girl. 00:57:39.440 --> 00:57:40.239 Ooh la la. 00:57:40.719 --> 00:57:41.199 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:57:41.519 --> 00:57:41.760 Okay. 00:57:42.000 -->

00:57:42.559 So that was good. 00:57:42.800 --> 00:57:50.880 So what but what helped you regain like any like sort of confidence or like break out of shyness, do you think? 00:57:51.119 --> 00:57:55.039 Did it just sort of like fade away or I think it wasn't until college. 00:57:55.760 --> 00:57:58.079 So you just buried, you just kind of like did the thing. 00:57:58.639 --> 00:58:02.480 Well, in high school, I was like, I could be funny and I knew that funny was important. 00:58:03.360 --> 00:58:06.400 But did you start to use it as a flirtation device? 00:58:09.199 --> 00:58:10.559 Were you like I could be the funny guy? 00:58:10.719 --> 00:58:10.960 Yes. 00:58:12.079 --> 00:58:18.320 Because I do think that like uh once you start being funny and people really start laughing, people do start liking you. 00:58:19.280 --> 00:58:20.079 That is a true thing. 00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:22.400 You uh allow endorphins to be released. 00:58:22.559 --> 00:58:23.760 Yes, that's science math. 00:58:25.599 --> 00:58:26.880 People get hornier for you? 00:58:27.039 --> 00:58:27.760 Yeah, I would say. 00:58:27.920 --> 00:58:28.639 What was that like? 00:58:28.880 --> 00:58:29.519 It was great. 00:58:29.760 --> 00:58:30.320 That was great. 00:58:30.480 --> 00:58:32.159 Yeah, for sure. 00:58:32.559 --> 00:58:35.039 I was a big fan of it, and I've been chasing that forever. 00:58:35.119 --> 00:58:43.280 And like I thought, oh, when I do stand-up, like I'll go on stage and people will laugh and they'll look at me like I want to suck his dick so bad. 00:58:43.599 --> 00:58:44.559 Little did I know. 00:58:45.039 --> 00:58:46.880 That's not the case at all. 00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:50.239 No one be wanting to fuck comics anymore. 00:58:50.480 --> 00:58:51.039 No, but I'm not gonna be. 00:58:52.400 --> 00:58:53.039 You have a girlfriend, right? 00:58:53.599 --> 00:58:58.960 I've had a girlfriend for nine years, and and the fact that I do comedy is a really big part of why she's attracted to me. 00:58:59.199 --> 00:59:15.280 No, yeah, I mean, I think that unfortunately for for many women out there uh of the straight kind, they are still attracted to comedians, and it's not always not great every time, you know? 00:59:15.599 --> 00:59:18.960 You know, you mean it's it is good sometimes though. 00:59:21.119 --> 00:59:30.800 Trying to think, I'm like, like when I'm like, when have I fucked a comedian that I've been like, wow, that was amazing. 00:59:31.039 --> 00:59:32.239 Oh, you're talking about sex-wise. 00:59:32.480 --> 00:59:39.280 No, no, I mean, well, sex and just like in general, like like the whole thing of like to date a comedian or whatever. 00:59:39.360 --> 00:59:52.800 Like, I'm like, I'm like, I've had many a crush on a comedian, but as far as like the following through of those things, I was like, no, I mean, like, I kind of dated one guy in Chicago who was like nice guy, but it was like on my way out, like there's no no no villain behavior there. 00:59:52.960 --> 01:00:04.719 But like there are, you know, there are the the the the the things that often make people funny are the things that are going to make them also so annoying to try to be with, you know. 01:00:04.880 --> 01:00:07.920 And I mean, and that's just I mean, and same, and I mean the same, you know. 01:00:08.239 --> 01:00:19.039 Well, I know, and that's just the hard truth is that I think we're in a time now where people are trying to be like, well, to be funny, you actually don't have to be that messed up, or you don't have to be this or that, but that's just not true. 01:00:19.280 --> 01:00:22.559 Well, and it's like at least like the kind of like really funny actually for me. 01:00:22.719 --> 01:00:23.360 I mean, like, yeah. 01:00:23.519 --> 01:00:30.480 Well, and that's that's the thing that I I think I also trick myself with sometimes where I'd be like, Oh, the I love this person on stage and like they're so funny and whatever. 01:00:30.719 --> 01:00:42.239 But like, and and then it's like, oh, and we can do bits together and we have like great fun bit chemistry, bit chemistry, but then it's like, does that actually turn into anything beyond that? 01:00:42.639 --> 01:00:49.920 No, I think I was always like, Oh, well, kinetic energy will make that turn into like romantic, actually love sort of chemistry, yeah. 01:00:50.079 --> 01:00:53.440 But then like it wouldn't always, and I'm like, what's going on here? 01:00:53.599 --> 01:00:55.519 But we bits, but we laugh, you know. 01:00:55.679 --> 01:00:57.119 Well, but the but that's different. 01:00:57.360 --> 01:01:00.079 The person you're with has to be like capable of love. 01:01:00.320 --> 01:01:00.480 Love. 01:01:00.960 --> 01:01:01.840 Do you think you're capable of love? 01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:04.079 I mean, you've been in a relationship for so many years. 01:01:04.320 --> 01:01:06.320 What's different about you now that makes you capable? 01:01:06.559 --> 01:01:12.719 I know that you're you're getting on your edge of not being able to talk anymore, but I think I got another 30 minutes. 01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:16.320 Hey! See, I said an hour knowing it wasn't gonna be an hour. 01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:20.800 Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, you know, and I think that like, yeah, no, yeah, no, we're having fun. 01:01:21.039 --> 01:01:21.760 We got another 30. 01:01:21.840 --> 01:01:22.559 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:01:26.079 --> 01:01:27.760 Uh what makes you able? 01:01:28.079 --> 01:01:28.559 Therapy. 01:01:28.800 --> 01:01:29.280 Therapy. 01:01:29.440 --> 01:01:29.679 Totally. 01:01:29.920 --> 01:01:31.679 What made when did you start therapy? 01:01:31.840 --> 01:01:32.159 I started. 01:01:32.400 --> 01:01:32.800 10 years ago. 01:01:33.039 --> 01:01:33.599 10 years ago. 01:01:33.760 --> 01:01:35.519 What made you decide that you were working? 01:01:37.360 --> 01:01:38.639 What made you decide though? 01:01:38.800 --> 01:01:54.639 I'm so interested in this as someone who's dealt with,

conversed with, has tried to reach out to so many people of the of the male disposition, um who like know they're like in a place but not doing not doing the thing. 01:01:54.880 --> 01:01:56.480 Well, it has to be around decision, I think. 01:01:56.719 --> 01:01:57.280 No, 100%. 01:01:57.679 --> 01:02:02.639 That's why I always p ponder what made what what shifts you into the decision. 01:02:02.960 --> 01:02:09.039 No, like I like I literally I woke up one morning and I was so racked with anxiety that I could not get out of my bed. 01:02:09.360 --> 01:02:12.880 And you were like, this is not and I was like, okay, I need help. 01:02:13.280 --> 01:02:13.519 Yeah. 01:02:13.679 --> 01:02:13.840 Yeah. 01:02:14.079 --> 01:02:16.480 How's the anxiety like manifesting? 01:02:17.280 --> 01:02:21.760 It manifested in this kind of like insane spiral of what's the point? 01:02:22.400 --> 01:02:24.320 Like I think about all the things I had to do. 01:02:24.559 --> 01:02:26.400 Like I had a job, like I had a life. 01:02:26.559 --> 01:02:27.039 Yeah. 01:02:27.599 --> 01:02:30.559 So it's not like I was like, oh, I'm unemployed. 01:02:30.639 --> 01:02:31.920 I don't have this, I don't have that. 01:02:32.000 --> 01:02:33.119 It's like I had all that stuff. 01:02:33.519 --> 01:02:35.519 Did you ever have that when you were younger? 01:02:36.159 --> 01:02:38.159 Well, yeah, yeah, I think so. 01:02:38.559 --> 01:02:43.840 Cause I think about it often that like I'll think about this time in like third grade. 01:02:44.159 --> 01:02:56.400 Third grade was really my year of like, like, I feel like I had my big heavy adult like middle school leaning into adult style depression vibes, but like third grade was really like when it was going down for me. 01:02:56.719 --> 01:02:59.920 So then when all of them were dealing with it in fifth grade, I'm like, this is old news. 01:03:00.320 --> 01:03:00.880 You know? 01:03:01.199 --> 01:03:21.440 Um, but I remember like dude, I remember straight up like among other things of my life, learning about like the solar system more deeply, and and then with that combined with all of like the trauma and drama that was going on with my life, where I was just like, We're I remember calling my crush, Eric, best friend slash crush. 01:03:21.599 --> 01:03:22.880 Yeah, and we're talking. 01:03:23.039 --> 01:03:26.000 I'm like, we're so small. 01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:26.719 Really? 01:03:26.800 --> 01:03:27.760 You said it in third grade. 01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:29.199 It doesn't matter. 01:03:29.360 --> 01:03:31.920 Like it doesn't, it doesn't matter. 01:03:32.079 --> 01:03:32.320 Yeah, yeah. 01:03:32.559 --> 01:03:34.400 Eric, it doesn't matter, you know. 01:03:34.639 --> 01:03:36.960 And Eric was like, uh digital. 01:03:38.800 --> 01:03:45.119 No, I always feel that like for some reason that school that I went to, like that K thrade school, like we were all a little doom and gloom. 01:03:45.199 --> 01:03:46.320 Like we were all like all fucked

up. 01:03:46.400 --> 01:03:47.280 I don't know what was wrong with us. 01:03:47.599 --> 01:03:48.880 And you're from Fort Miami, right? 01:03:49.119 --> 01:03:49.760 Miami, yeah. 01:03:49.920 --> 01:03:53.280 But when you think of Miami, you think of sunshine and you know what I think it is? 01:03:53.360 --> 01:04:13.920 Yeah, the lack of mountains allows for a suffocation of your sort of like perspective of sort of like almost like I'm realizing we're small because of the solar system, but there's nothing in my experience that makes me feel like the scale of like a mountain that makes me feel small in a way that's like alleviating. 01:04:14.159 --> 01:04:15.360 What about the ocean? 01:04:15.599 --> 01:04:19.119 The ocean is I am not like going to the ocean every day, especially. 01:04:19.199 --> 01:04:20.000 I'm like two goth. 01:04:20.159 --> 01:04:21.440 I'm like, you're trying to get me tan. 01:04:21.760 --> 01:04:22.159 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:04:22.400 --> 01:04:23.599 I'm wearing a hoodie. 01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:24.480 Right, right, right, right. 01:04:24.639 --> 01:04:30.239 I'm trying to be Robert Smith, Atlas Glass, Crystal Castle's Robert Smith collaboration. 01:04:30.320 --> 01:04:31.119 That's what I'm trying to be. 01:04:31.199 --> 01:04:31.519 Remember that? 01:04:32.239 --> 01:04:33.519 Knew about that in third grade. 01:04:33.679 --> 01:04:38.000 And then I mean that was more in like middle school, I guess, but that was you know the track we're going. 01:04:38.320 --> 01:04:40.480 I'm trying to picture a third grader listening to Crystal Castle. 01:04:41.199 --> 01:04:46.400 No, no, I don't think they were that was more that was middle school, high school, but but it was definitely there. 01:04:46.559 --> 01:04:47.920 I was on the I was on the road for that. 01:04:48.719 --> 01:04:53.280 You know, um when I went back to Miami and I was staying there for like seven months before I came here. 01:04:53.360 --> 01:04:54.960 Oh my god, it was in the freaking ocean every day. 01:04:55.039 --> 01:04:56.239 I was I was at the beach all the time. 01:04:56.400 --> 01:04:56.719 Yeah, yeah. 01:04:57.039 --> 01:04:59.840 I have a different you know understanding of it, but growing up, no. 01:05:00.079 --> 01:05:02.159 Well, I grew up in Santa Monica, I never went to the beach. 01:05:02.400 --> 01:05:02.639 Right. 01:05:02.719 --> 01:05:04.159 It's not like you're the thing that you do. 01:05:04.239 --> 01:05:06.000 You're like, what am I a fucking tourist going to the beach? 01:05:06.239 --> 01:05:06.400 Exactly. 01:05:06.719 --> 01:05:07.599 Parking's annoying. 01:05:07.920 --> 01:05:13.840 And also the kids that went to the beach were like, there were surfers and then there was like hippies that would like go there and hacky sack. 01:05:14.159 --> 01:05:15.760 So who are you among that group? 01:05:15.920 --> 01:05:18.719 It's kind of like a we were the so in Santa Monica. 01:05:18.960 --> 01:05:19.840 Hollywood yuppie? 01:05:22.719 --> 01:05:24.000 No, you're Santa Monica. 01:05:24.159 --> 01:05:31.119 But the Santa Monica, the high school that I went to was so in Santa Monica there's Crossroads, which is where the Hollywood Yuppies go. 01:05:31.280 --> 01:05:31.360 Okay. 01:05:31.599 --> 01:05:32.800 The private school, right? 01:05:33.039 --> 01:05:34.400 Where Jonah Hill went. 01:05:34.639 --> 01:05:34.960 Sure. 01:05:35.280 --> 01:05:38.079 And like Al Pacino's daughter, Jack Nicholson's daughter. 01:05:38.239 --> 01:05:38.719 Yes. 01:05:38.960 --> 01:05:40.559 That's like for the Hollywood Elite. 01:05:40.639 --> 01:05:40.800 Okay. 01:05:40.960 --> 01:05:43.360 And then there's Santa Monica High School, which is the public school. 01:05:43.519 --> 01:05:43.679 Right. 01:05:43.840 --> 01:05:50.400 And that's for like the you know, the like the writers who sold a couple movies or they write on TV. 01:05:50.719 --> 01:05:51.920 The different tier of Hollywood. 01:05:52.239 --> 01:05:54.639 Yeah, where the they're different, yeah, on the call sheet. 01:05:55.760 --> 01:05:56.960 Below the line, above the line. 01:05:57.039 --> 01:05:57.519 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:05:58.000 --> 01:05:59.760 Like DPs, like a lot of people are like. 01:06:00.159 --> 01:06:02.639 Oh, my dad that did sound for that movie. 01:06:03.920 --> 01:06:06.000 What a funny way to grow up. 01:06:06.079 --> 01:06:07.119 I'm laughing. 01:06:08.400 --> 01:06:10.719 That was like the Santa Monica vibe. 01:06:11.920 --> 01:06:18.480 And then, and then there was like you know, there's so many kids in my high school, there was tons of also people whose parents did not work in Hollywood at all. 01:06:18.719 --> 01:06:18.880 Yeah. 01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:19.280 Yeah. 01:06:19.440 --> 01:06:19.760 Yeah. 01:06:20.159 --> 01:06:22.400 But we were split in middle school. 01:06:22.480 --> 01:06:24.719 So high school was so big, there was no like clicks. 01:06:25.280 --> 01:06:29.760 The cool kids in my high school were like the kids who did drugs and beat the shit out of people. 01:06:30.079 --> 01:06:30.400 For sure. 01:06:30.559 --> 01:06:31.280 You weren't doing that. 01:06:32.239 --> 01:06:33.119 A little bit dabbling. 01:06:33.599 --> 01:06:33.840 Drugs. 01:06:34.079 --> 01:06:34.639 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:06:36.079 --> 01:06:37.199 I was not beating shit out of it. 01:06:37.840 --> 01:06:39.360 Uh we were smoking weed for sure. 01:06:39.679 --> 01:06:41.280 I did shrooms in high school. 01:06:41.519 --> 01:06:43.039 You were like, and that's it. 01:06:43.360 --> 01:06:43.599 Yeah. 01:06:44.159 --> 01:06:45.679 But there were some kids doing coke. 01:06:46.000 --> 01:06:46.719 Well, that's the thing. 01:06:46.800 --> 01:06:48.480 My high school was big Coke vibes. 01:06:48.639 --> 01:06:48.880 Really? 01:06:49.039 --> 01:06:49.199 Yeah. 01:06:49.280 --> 01:06:53.280 People were there was definitely a phase where people were like doing Coke in the bathrooms, and I was like, who do we think we are? 01:06:53.360 -->

01:06:53.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:06:54.000 --> 01:06:55.360 I'm like, I I wasn't that. 01:06:55.440 --> 01:07:00.559 I was very like high on life in in like the early days of I mean freshman and sophomore years. 01:07:00.639 --> 01:07:02.800 I was like, I'm high on life, and then sort of junior. 01:07:03.199 --> 01:07:06.079 I I would drink, but like I wasn't, you know. 01:07:06.239 --> 01:07:06.880 That's not true. 01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:10.320 I did I did do Coke when I was 16, but that's kind of like a rite of passage. 01:07:10.400 --> 01:07:11.519 You had to in Miami. 01:07:11.679 --> 01:07:12.079 In Miami. 01:07:12.159 --> 01:07:12.639 They're like, yeah. 01:07:12.719 --> 01:07:15.360 But I but I I remember that's a bar mitzvah in Miami. 01:07:15.599 --> 01:07:15.920 A little bit. 01:07:16.159 --> 01:07:17.599 You turn 16, they go, okay, and now you're just gonna be able to get it. 01:07:18.079 --> 01:07:18.880 Here's your first bump. 01:07:19.039 --> 01:07:19.360 Yeah. 01:07:19.599 --> 01:07:29.039 Um but I I definitely remember being like like doing the coke and being like, I understand why people get addicted to this one. 01:07:29.519 --> 01:07:32.000 I was like, hmm, yeah, noted. 01:07:32.159 --> 01:07:33.440 Not gonna do more of that. 01:07:33.599 --> 01:07:33.760 Yeah. 01:07:34.159 --> 01:07:35.119 Feel the danger. 01:07:35.280 --> 01:07:36.239 Um, but I understand. 01:07:36.400 --> 01:07:37.360 Oh, I love Coke. 01:07:37.840 --> 01:07:38.559 I don't I don't know. 01:07:38.639 --> 01:07:44.480 But I'm just like, I don't, I'm already like, you know, I was always like, this is so much fun, everyone's annoyed by me. 01:07:45.440 --> 01:07:47.599 I'm having fun, but I know everyone thinks I'm annoying. 01:07:47.760 --> 01:07:47.920 Right. 01:07:48.079 --> 01:07:49.360 Same thing with Molly, pretty much. 01:07:49.519 --> 01:07:49.679 Right. 01:07:49.760 --> 01:07:53.519 So, but you don't consider yourself shy in any situation ever. 01:07:54.159 --> 01:08:01.679 Oh, I think I'm definitely like it's the curse of being complicated woman. 01:08:02.480 --> 01:08:09.840 Like, no, I mean, I think people think I'm like so much more like confident and like social than I am. 01:08:10.480 --> 01:08:13.440 Like, bitch, I am alone all the time. 01:08:13.519 --> 01:08:14.639 I'm always alone. 01:08:14.800 --> 01:08:15.760 I'm always alone. 01:08:16.159 --> 01:08:17.760 Parties scare me. 01:08:17.920 --> 01:08:19.439 I don't like it. 01:08:19.680 --> 01:08:21.920 Like it's I don't know where to go. 01:08:22.319 --> 01:08:30.079 And uh, but like sometimes I can a little, you know, like do the dance, but I'm like, it definitely is anxiety that's why for me. 01:08:30.640 --> 01:08:31.279 Cocaine. 01:08:31.439 --> 01:08:32.479 No, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:08:33.119 --> 01:08:40.159 But but then I'm already like, but I already talked too much as a default, so then I'm gonna talk more on the coke, and now everybody hates me. 01:08:40.319 --> 01:08:52.640 I remember

doing coke with with my with like my best friend, and he was just like having a bad time himself, and I was and we were like at karaoke or something, and I was like, Well, I annoyed Mark so much, and he hates me now. 01:08:54.319 --> 01:08:57.199 This is like literally just that could just be Coke paranoia. 01:08:57.439 --> 01:08:58.319 No, that's what I'm saying. 01:08:58.399 --> 01:08:59.279 It's like not worth it. 01:08:59.359 --> 01:09:00.640 It's not worth it for me. 01:09:00.960 --> 01:09:03.359 Now I think my now it's weed. 01:09:03.439 --> 01:09:08.640 Weed is weed chills me out more where I'm like, maybe I'm annoying, but I don't care as much, you know. 01:09:08.960 --> 01:09:11.600 So now I'm kind of more of a classic stoner. 01:09:11.760 --> 01:09:12.000 Okay. 01:09:12.159 --> 01:09:14.880 I'm a I've evolved, I've evolved into that. 01:09:15.199 --> 01:09:19.279 Do you think like smoking being a stoner is still funny now that weed is legal? 01:09:19.680 --> 01:09:20.079 I don't know. 01:09:20.159 --> 01:09:21.600 I think it's funny that I do it. 01:09:21.760 --> 01:09:22.159 Yeah, yeah. 01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:29.439 I think it's funny because like people used to like ascribe a stoner-ish kind of personality onto me because I'm just like this, uh-huh. 01:09:29.520 --> 01:09:30.720 Like a little goofy. 01:09:30.880 --> 01:09:41.760 So I think it's funny that I do it now and as I didn't before, and I'm like, I'm like an adult like stoner, but I think I like it mostly like by myself, I'm like vibing. 01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:45.920 I don't even realize until I like to see a picture of myself, I'm like, oh, I'm stoned. 01:09:46.000 --> 01:09:48.079 Yeah, but it's just because I'm kind of like quiet. 01:09:48.319 --> 01:09:48.640 Yeah, yeah. 01:09:48.800 --> 01:09:50.560 Oh, you mean if you're out and about? 01:09:51.119 --> 01:09:57.359 Like, I will just like walk and smoke and and and like sit with my laptop and work on a at a place or whatever. 01:09:57.600 --> 01:10:07.039 And it's only when someone comes up to me that I'm like, oh yeah, that that and then I start talking to them, and and then I'm like, oh yeah, I'm a little goofy town, but I didn't realize because I was just in my little zone. 01:10:07.199 --> 01:10:08.479 Okay, in the zone. 01:10:09.520 --> 01:10:19.840 Yeah, or like or like you'll take pictures of your like if I if I like go and look, yeah, I'm constantly I go on a like taking selfies and being like, whoa, I'm high, dude. 01:10:20.239 --> 01:10:22.800 Literally, I'll look at my phone and be like, do I have something on my teeth? 01:10:22.880 --> 01:10:23.760 And I'm like, my eyes. 01:10:24.239 --> 01:10:25.760 Okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, okay. 01:10:26.000 --> 01:10:26.239 Yeah. 01:10:26.479 --> 01:10:36.640 Or maybe a maybe a crush is saying, Send me a selfie, and I go, and I'll go, maybe I can cute today, maybe I'll send a selfie, and I'm like, oh, I'm stoned, but I still look cute. 01:10:36.800 --> 01:10:37.039 Bing. 01:10:37.439 --> 01:10:43.359 See, if I was high and someone said send me a selfie, I think I would uh my head would explode from paranoia. 01:10:43.760 --> 01:10:51.039 See, I think I'll I'll be I will take more time on the selfie no no high than high. 01:10:51.199 --> 01:10:51.600 Oh, good. 01:10:51.680 --> 01:10:58.079 Well that's I think so than we know people don't the the weed gives me anxiety thing, it does not happen to me, I don't think. 01:10:58.399 --> 01:11:03.920 I think probably now I'd be better, but I because I've been like microdosing shrooms, and that's incredible. 01:11:04.319 --> 01:11:05.279 I should do that. 01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:10.079 The the one time I like microdosed shrooms, I was like, I don't feel my knee pain. 01:11:10.159 --> 01:11:10.720 What the hell? 01:11:10.960 --> 01:11:11.439 Yeah, exactly. 01:11:12.159 --> 01:11:12.640 I know. 01:11:12.880 --> 01:11:16.079 I know it's like I'm like, I have chronic knee pain and I'm not feeling it right now. 01:11:16.159 --> 01:11:17.359 I'm actually prancing. 01:11:17.680 --> 01:11:21.199 And you're not like suit, you're you're functional. 01:11:21.439 --> 01:11:23.680 Wait, are we doing Joe Rogan or something? 01:11:25.279 --> 01:11:27.279 I just realized, are we doing Joe Rogan right now? 01:11:27.359 --> 01:11:28.239 Is that is that what he does? 01:11:29.279 --> 01:11:30.079 I literally don't know. 01:11:30.159 --> 01:11:31.279 That's why I asked. 01:11:31.600 --> 01:11:35.199 I just I for one second had a moment where I said, Are we doing Joe Rogan? 01:11:35.279 --> 01:11:36.720 And that's why I asked, you know? 01:11:36.960 --> 01:11:37.359 Yeah, yeah. 01:11:37.439 --> 01:11:38.720 Well, I I don't know. 01:11:38.880 --> 01:11:46.720 The only Joe Rogan podcast I ever listened to was the one that during the pandemic, when everyone was like, This is so dangerous, because he was like talking about vaccines. 01:11:46.880 --> 01:11:47.760 Oh, I didn't listen to it. 01:11:47.840 --> 01:11:48.239 What did he say? 01:11:48.319 --> 01:11:49.600 He just said all the bad stuff, right? 01:11:49.840 --> 01:11:52.159 Honestly, I was like, He's kind of right. 01:11:52.319 --> 01:11:56.720 It's just no can you imagine? 01:11:56.960 --> 01:12:02.000 I was like, it's just a dumb guy talking in his basement. 01:12:02.319 --> 01:12:03.279 You want to know the sad truth? 01:12:03.680 --> 01:12:04.000 Yeah. 01:12:04.239 --> 01:12:06.399 I had a crush on him when he hosted Fear Factor. 01:12:06.560 --> 01:12:14.399 I mean, as a child, I had a crush on Joe Rogan when he hosted Fear Factor, and then when you're in high school, maybe you discover a little show called News Radio. 01:12:14.479 --> 01:12:17.680 Maybe by the season on iTunes, because it's a nice little show. 01:12:17.840 --> 01:12:18.000 Yeah. 01:12:18.159 --> 01:12:19.039 Hey, what is it,$10? 01:12:19.520 --> 01:12:21.840 You're like, hey, I kind of have a crush on Joe Rogan and News Radio. 01:12:22.079 --> 01:12:22.560 Joe

Rogan is. 01:12:22.720 --> 01:12:24.000 And then he becomes later into Joe Rogan. 01:12:24.560 --> 01:12:25.119 Attractive guy. 01:12:25.439 --> 01:12:26.880 And I think that's all part of it. 01:12:27.600 --> 01:12:30.159 I don't think you get that successful if people don't want to fuck you. 01:12:30.399 --> 01:12:31.039 I guess so. 01:12:31.279 --> 01:12:36.079 Yeah, there must be some something about you that people are like, I want to fuck that person. 01:12:36.399 --> 01:12:38.079 Most yeah, mostly. 01:12:38.239 --> 01:12:41.920 And that's why I think all like 30% of the MAGAs are are just gay, right? 01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:42.399 You know what I mean? 01:12:42.640 --> 01:12:43.760 Because they want to fuck Trump, maybe. 01:12:44.319 --> 01:12:44.479 Yeah. 01:12:44.720 --> 01:12:49.359 It's just like an expression of homoeroticism that's okay, and they're allowed to do. 01:12:49.600 --> 01:12:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:12:50.319 --> 01:12:50.560 You know? 01:12:50.880 --> 01:12:55.199 And I think a lot of men want to express affection towards other men, whether gay or not, yeah. 01:12:55.359 --> 01:12:56.960 And they don't feel comfortable doing it. 01:12:57.119 --> 01:13:00.399 And this is, and and I'm also a MAGA apologist podcast, of course. 01:13:00.640 --> 01:13:03.920 You know, I'm a rich person in MAGA apologist podcast, of course. 01:13:04.239 --> 01:13:05.600 No, but I do think this is true. 01:13:05.760 --> 01:13:06.560 I do think this is true. 01:13:06.640 --> 01:13:10.960 I'm like, uh yeah, those men have fraud relationships with their masculinities for many reasons. 01:13:11.119 --> 01:13:13.119 Daddy issues is uh one of them. 01:13:13.359 --> 01:13:16.479 Yes, girls aren't the only ones with daddy issues, okay. 01:13:16.800 --> 01:13:17.439 No, definitely not. 01:13:17.680 --> 01:13:18.720 But yours are the mom ones. 01:13:18.880 --> 01:13:21.840 I have the mommy issues, which are way less fun than daddy issues. 01:13:22.000 --> 01:13:23.439 Yeah, what's up with that? 01:13:23.920 --> 01:13:24.319 What? 01:13:24.960 --> 01:13:26.399 I just go, what's up with that? 01:13:26.720 --> 01:13:28.399 No, mom stuff is interesting. 01:13:28.560 --> 01:13:35.279 I used to have a joke where if you have daddy issues, you go, you tell yourself, you say, I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna prove that motherfucker wrong. 01:13:35.600 --> 01:13:37.439 I'm gonna work hard and I'm gonna fuck. 01:13:37.680 --> 01:13:38.800 I'm gonna fuck so much. 01:13:38.960 --> 01:13:39.840 I'm gonna do all the fucking. 01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:42.000 I'm gonna do all the fucking and all the working hard. 01:13:42.079 --> 01:13:44.399 And one of these days I'll show my daddy what's wrong. 01:13:44.800 --> 01:13:48.960 Then if you have mommy issues, you just go, I think I'm gonna stay in and drink some tea. 01:13:51.760 --> 01:13:53.439 Nobody ever laughed at that joke. 01:13:53.680 --> 01:13:54.560 I like it. 01:13:54.880 --> 01:13:55.840 Nobody ever laughed. 01:13:56.000 --> 01:13:57.119 But I should try to bring it back. 01:13:57.279 --> 01:13:58.399 But I understand, bring it back. 01:13:58.479 --> 01:14:00.560 Yeah, but maybe it's because I understand you now. 01:14:00.640 --> 01:14:03.119 I understand that we're coming from a context of trueness. 01:14:03.359 --> 01:14:04.159 Right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:14:04.159 --> 01:14:04.800 It's a real thing. 01:14:04.960 --> 01:14:05.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:14:06.000 --> 01:14:18.880 Um, do you feel do you feel like when you were approaching like crushing in your like early adulthood, did it feel like did you feel like a crush was someone to like win over? 01:14:19.119 --> 01:14:24.560 Was a crush someone to just like observe from afar and like never even approach? 01:14:24.800 --> 01:14:25.920 Or you know what I mean? 01:14:26.159 --> 01:14:27.279 No, I knew you had to win them over. 01:14:27.439 --> 01:14:28.239 You knew you had to win them over. 01:14:28.479 --> 01:14:28.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:14:28.960 --> 01:14:29.840 I had some crushes. 01:14:30.239 --> 01:14:33.920 I I never a crush never seemed unattainable to me. 01:14:34.159 --> 01:14:34.640 I love this. 01:14:34.720 --> 01:14:34.960 Yeah. 01:14:35.359 --> 01:14:40.000 I've always been like, I've always had crushes on people who I could reasonably up with. 01:14:40.239 --> 01:14:40.479 Yeah, yeah. 01:14:40.720 --> 01:14:45.680 Because people go back like on this podcast, people have very different opinions and perspectives on this. 01:14:46.000 --> 01:14:49.920 I also feel like why I have the crush if you're not gonna go towards it. 01:14:50.239 --> 01:14:53.600 But I also think like attainability is what was always like a part of the crush for me. 01:14:54.079 --> 01:14:56.239 What what what were you finding attainable about people? 01:14:56.319 --> 01:14:58.399 Like what is that reflective of you? 01:14:58.640 --> 01:14:59.279 Do you know what I mean? 01:14:59.520 --> 01:15:00.319 Oh, interesting. 01:15:00.720 --> 01:15:04.960 You mean like why did you think that you could win them over? 01:15:05.359 --> 01:15:10.399 I think it's more just that like there were obviously people who I was like, oh, that's a hot, they're hot. 01:15:10.560 --> 01:15:10.720 Yeah. 01:15:11.039 --> 01:15:12.239 But I don't have a crush on them. 01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:17.760 I think I actually had to like have some exchange. 01:15:18.079 --> 01:15:22.560 Like I I had to actually talk to the people to develop a like a crush crush. 01:15:22.800 --> 01:15:23.199 Okay, yeah. 01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:28.479 You're not you're not just like observing from afar and being like and projecting like a fantasy onto a person. 01:15:29.039 --> 01:15:30.159 Well, no, no, no, no. 01:15:30.560 --> 01:15:31.359 Not like entirely. 01:15:31.520 --> 01:15:32.159 Not entirely. 01:15:32.560 --> 01:15:43.840 Because I'm trying to think about like, you know, there was like the there were like people in my older brother's grade who

were so hot and they were like around my house all the time hanging out with my really popular ass older brother. 01:15:44.880 --> 01:15:48.239 But I was never like oh my god, it's Britney. 01:15:48.640 --> 01:15:48.880 Yeah. 01:15:49.600 --> 01:15:54.720 But then there were like girls in my grade who were like in my group of friends, and that's when I would be like I wouldn't be able to talk to them. 01:15:55.359 --> 01:15:55.680 Why? 01:15:56.399 --> 01:16:00.000 I think because like there was actually a chance or something, or I knew them as you know what it is? 01:16:00.560 --> 01:16:01.680 I knew them as people. 01:16:02.000 --> 01:16:02.720 The whole thing. 01:16:02.960 --> 01:16:03.840 I knew the whole thing. 01:16:03.920 --> 01:16:04.880 They were a person to me. 01:16:05.039 --> 01:16:05.279 Yeah. 01:16:05.520 --> 01:16:13.520 They weren't just like and what that made it more complicated to approach, scarier, or like I think scarier. 01:16:13.680 --> 01:16:14.000 Yeah. 01:16:14.159 --> 01:16:21.359 What are you scared of like failing, being embarrassed? 01:16:21.600 --> 01:16:33.279 Like, what do you think it because I'm a very my uh what I've now understand to be like some anxiety is like, oh yeah, I I go worst-case scenario mode on a lot of stuff. 01:16:33.520 --> 01:16:37.039 Frankly, it's because I think I've had a lot of worst-case scenarios happen to me. 01:16:37.359 --> 01:16:45.520 A lot of a lot of bad stuff, you know, it doesn't help when it's backed up, but like that's not always how it necessarily manifests, you know what I mean? 01:16:45.600 --> 01:16:46.239 Like I do. 01:16:46.319 --> 01:16:47.359 Well, anxiety, right? 01:16:47.439 --> 01:16:52.399 Uh anxiety develops is is a survival mechanism that developed out of necessity. 01:16:52.640 --> 01:16:52.960 Right. 01:16:53.119 --> 01:16:54.880 But I mean That's how it starts, right? 01:16:54.960 --> 01:17:02.159 Yeah, I guess start it as a defense mechanism or survival mechanism for genuine actual survival. 01:17:02.319 --> 01:17:02.560 Right. 01:17:02.800 --> 01:17:03.920 And then it like goes nuts. 01:17:04.159 --> 01:17:05.119 What did you have to survive? 01:17:05.279 --> 01:17:06.479 I'm not gonna get to that. 01:17:08.720 --> 01:17:09.680 We're not gonna get to that. 01:17:09.840 --> 01:17:13.199 We should have switched this is that I should have had you reclining. 01:17:14.800 --> 01:17:17.199 He takes a sip of water. 01:17:18.560 --> 01:17:21.359 Okay, but but even not whatever you think it is. 01:17:21.840 --> 01:17:25.359 No, listen, I could think you don't know what I'm thinking. 01:17:25.439 --> 01:17:28.239 I can think I I there's so many possibilities. 01:17:28.479 --> 01:17:30.720 Um, have you watched the new season of couples therapy? 01:17:30.800 --> 01:17:31.439 I'm getting into it. 01:17:31.520 --> 01:17:32.079 I love that show. 01:17:32.159 --> 01:17:32.720 What a show. 01:17:32.880 --> 01:17:35.600 Uh all the all of the range of traumas, my lord. 01:17:35.680 --> 01:17:36.159 It's so great. 01:17:37.279 --> 01:17:38.640 There's too much shit for me to watch. 01:17:38.720 --> 01:17:40.560 I can't get into couples therapy. 01:17:40.720 --> 01:17:41.199 I really want to. 01:17:43.840 --> 01:17:49.039 It's like I can I watched the first two seasons and I was really into it during the pandemic, but that was when we had nothing to do. 01:17:49.199 --> 01:17:52.880 And now I'm like, I got too much stuff. 01:17:53.199 --> 01:17:54.159 Okay, he's got too much stuff. 01:17:54.239 --> 01:17:55.119 And he's avoiding my questions now. 01:17:55.359 --> 01:17:56.000 Oh, wait, what was your question? 01:17:56.159 --> 01:17:56.720 No, no, no, no. 01:17:56.800 --> 01:17:59.279 I no, now my question was okay, yeah. 01:17:59.439 --> 01:18:05.680 So the fear, the anxiety isn't necessarily is it stopping you from trying at all when you know the full person? 01:18:06.239 --> 01:18:06.880 Yeah, yeah, totally. 01:18:07.119 --> 01:18:07.279 Yeah. 01:18:07.439 --> 01:18:07.680 Totally. 01:18:07.840 --> 01:18:12.239 And also, man, I'm thinking about this girl who had a crush on in in eighth grade. 01:18:12.479 --> 01:18:12.880 Uh-huh. 01:18:13.199 --> 01:18:14.319 Why'd you have a crush on her? 01:18:14.720 --> 01:18:15.920 What was her vibe? 01:18:16.720 --> 01:18:17.760 She was so hot. 01:18:19.920 --> 01:18:21.039 What's so hot? 01:18:22.000 --> 01:18:25.039 Uh you at the time. 01:18:25.279 --> 01:18:28.239 Or is she is she just like easy to typical? 01:18:29.039 --> 01:18:29.680 No, no, no, no. 01:18:29.760 --> 01:18:35.279 She was physically white supremacy would deem her uh conventionally attractive. 01:18:35.760 --> 01:18:36.079 Yes. 01:18:36.239 --> 01:18:36.960 Yes, yes. 01:18:37.119 --> 01:18:39.119 I would say Pop culture wise. 01:18:39.520 --> 01:18:45.840 Pop culture-wise, like conventionally attractive, but also like not in a white no, but she wasn't white though. 01:18:46.159 --> 01:18:47.520 Well, great, go on. 01:18:48.960 --> 01:18:58.159 That was like a really good thing about growing up in Santa Monica, and it's just LA in general, was incredible, incredible diversity. 01:18:58.319 --> 01:18:58.720 Yeah. 01:18:58.880 --> 01:19:01.439 And before we even like knew that was a thing. 01:19:01.680 --> 01:19:02.239 Right, right, right. 01:19:02.399 --> 01:19:08.079 Like we weren't talking about like diversity and how important it was for people and and growing up. 01:19:08.239 --> 01:19:08.800 We just had it. 01:19:09.039 --> 01:19:10.560 No, I was talking well, this is the thing. 01:19:10.640 --> 01:19:17.199 I was talking about this the other day about South Florida, where I'm like, now was South Florida racist 100%. 01:19:17.760 --> 01:19:18.880 As was Santa Monica. 01:19:19.199 --> 01:19:23.439 But I don't think we realized it because we were all super, we were all mixed up. 01:19:23.520 --> 01:19:34.000 I talked about it on this podcast for years, how it's like only once I left Miami did I really

understand, like, I was like, oh yeah, it's a lot of white people. 01:19:34.079 --> 01:19:34.239 Yeah. 01:19:35.119 --> 01:19:38.560 And in this, in this neighborhood in Chicago, it's mostly white people. 01:19:38.720 --> 01:19:39.359 You know what I mean? 01:19:39.520 --> 01:19:46.640 Because like, no matter even even the most quote unquote white areas you could get in Miami were pretty still pretty diverse. 01:19:46.800 --> 01:19:49.760 And white, and white was like white Latino most of the time. 01:19:50.079 --> 01:19:50.560 You know what I mean? 01:19:50.880 --> 01:19:51.039 Yeah. 01:19:51.119 --> 01:19:53.359 So it's like a little asterisk in in all of it. 01:19:53.520 --> 01:19:56.640 Well, they're still rife with the racial traumas and tensions, of course, yes. 01:19:56.960 --> 01:19:58.000 But don't get me wrong. 01:19:58.159 --> 01:20:00.880 But you but you don't, you know, it's a different perspective of it. 01:20:01.119 --> 01:20:02.000 It's a different perspective. 01:20:02.159 --> 01:20:13.840 We were like between 2400, you know, we just had like so many different types of like Central American, Mexican, black, Asian, like and sexy ladies, sexy girls. 01:20:15.039 --> 01:20:16.800 Sexy girls from all over the world. 01:20:17.359 --> 01:20:20.560 We it's just kind of crazy, like in middle school and like high school. 01:20:20.640 --> 01:20:23.760 I just there were just so many hot like so. 01:20:23.840 --> 01:20:25.039 That was really all it took for you. 01:20:25.199 --> 01:20:27.680 You weren't looking for your deep um soulmate. 01:20:28.000 --> 01:20:29.600 Not at no, not in eighth grade. 01:20:29.760 --> 01:20:30.960 Yeah, her name was Anna. 01:20:31.119 --> 01:20:33.760 Yeah, I just think she got the titties first, you know. 01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:38.560 Sometimes the girl, I guess, the titties first is gonna get is she's gonna be the answer for most people on the pod. 01:20:38.800 --> 01:20:39.359 Yeah, you know. 01:20:39.600 --> 01:20:40.960 And she was also really hot. 01:20:41.199 --> 01:20:41.520 Yeah. 01:20:41.760 --> 01:20:42.319 Uh yeah. 01:20:42.640 --> 01:20:43.439 Titties plus hot? 01:20:44.399 --> 01:20:45.760 I don't know what she's up to nowadays. 01:20:45.920 --> 01:20:47.920 I would love to know what she's doing these days. 01:20:48.159 --> 01:20:55.840 Hey now, watch out! Not because I'm standing up for your girlfriend that I've never met. 01:20:57.119 --> 01:21:01.840 No, my girlfriend is not trust me, my girlfriend is not worried about me cheating on her. 01:21:02.960 --> 01:21:04.640 With your this hot girl from the city. 01:21:04.720 --> 01:21:09.279 No, I bet Anna is like uh I bet you she's like married to like a UFC fighter or something. 01:21:09.520 --> 01:21:10.319 Probably something like that. 01:21:10.720 --> 01:21:11.279 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:21:11.760 --> 01:21:16.319 When you start maybe she lives in Vegas or something like that, and like does social media and it could be. 01:21:16.479 --> 01:21:18.479 You know, she's just thick, thick as hell. 01:21:18.720 --> 01:21:20.319 She's just thick and living her dreams. 01:21:20.880 --> 01:21:22.319 God, and we hope that that's true. 01:21:22.479 --> 01:21:25.920 Yeah, because she probably went through a lot by being the girl with the titties first. 01:21:26.800 --> 01:21:32.640 I this is and this reminds me, I want God, I wanted to say it up top, and that God, I hope that people are still listening. 01:21:32.800 --> 01:21:34.960 So they I hope the OGs are still listening. 01:21:35.119 --> 01:21:39.520 Now, on this podcast, historically, I'll say it. 01:21:39.840 --> 01:21:45.119 I have been quite rude to hot girls all over the world. 01:21:45.359 --> 01:21:46.319 Oh, okay. 01:21:46.560 --> 01:21:48.239 Especially early days. 01:21:48.560 --> 01:21:52.960 I was I was um uh also a an incel apologist podcast. 01:21:53.119 --> 01:21:57.279 I I fancy myself in very much alignment with the incel culture of why won't you date me? 01:21:57.600 --> 01:22:01.840 Which is not, of course, what the incel culture is, is quite violent and and supremacist. 01:22:02.000 --> 01:22:04.800 Um, but in a spiritual way, you know, in a jokey ha ha. 01:22:05.279 --> 01:22:06.800 So what you were like queer incel? 01:22:07.359 --> 01:22:13.840 No, I mean I was just like I was just like, I want a boyfriend so bad nobody will date me, and so therefore it's like Oh, not like women, huh? 01:22:14.000 --> 01:22:14.880 You are not bi. 01:22:15.279 --> 01:22:15.920 I'm like bi. 01:22:16.319 --> 01:22:17.520 Yeah, you're like bi like everybody else. 01:22:17.840 --> 01:22:18.399 Yeah, I guess. 01:22:18.560 --> 01:22:30.399 Yeah, I but uh historically I've I'm like I love boys so much, so then everyone's like I realize people were ascribing straightness straightness to me in a very heavy way that I said, Okay, just because I like boys so much doesn't mean I'm fucking straight as hell. 01:22:30.479 --> 01:22:30.960 What the hell? 01:22:31.119 --> 01:22:31.760 True, you know? 01:22:31.840 --> 01:22:33.439 Yeah, do I want to date a girl? 01:22:33.600 --> 01:22:34.000 Probably not. 01:22:35.439 --> 01:22:37.600 But you're not afraid of some put some puts. 01:22:37.920 --> 01:22:39.520 No, I mean women are beautiful. 01:22:39.600 --> 01:22:40.159 What can we say? 01:22:40.479 --> 01:22:42.800 Who doesn't love titties one way or another? 01:22:42.960 --> 01:22:43.119 Yeah. 01:22:43.359 --> 01:22:49.039 Um but do I find myself, do I see myself with a nagging, and no, I'm just kidding. 01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:54.800 But no, I will say, but also, okay, this this is wrapped up in my point. 01:22:54.880 --> 01:23:06.479 I think I think part of my resentment towards uh hot women growing growing up and then also growing up on this podcast, probably with these conflicting feelings of but being attracted to like being jealous of you and then also attracted to you. 01:23:06.560 --> 01:23:08.640 This is like maybe confusing to me,

probably. 01:23:08.800 --> 01:23:09.840 Well, this is my analysis. 01:23:10.319 --> 01:23:16.880 I am with hot guys, and you also want to do them, so you're giving back occasionally, occasionally occasionally you're like depends. 01:23:17.039 --> 01:23:20.000 So you're like trying to have an Eiffel Tower moment with your boy. 01:23:20.800 --> 01:23:24.319 I was talking about this once recently with two boys, right? 01:23:24.479 --> 01:23:28.000 I was talking about this with someone where we were like, there's no way that's not gay. 01:23:28.319 --> 01:23:30.000 Like a little, you know what I mean? 01:23:30.159 --> 01:23:30.960 Oh, Eiffel Tower. 01:23:31.119 --> 01:23:36.000 Oh, I thought you meant I'm in the middle, and I'm getting Eiffel Towered by two guys. 01:23:36.239 --> 01:23:37.039 Either way. 01:23:37.279 --> 01:23:41.199 Well, because in the original is in it's it's two guys, one girl. 01:23:41.279 --> 01:23:41.600 Yes. 01:23:41.760 --> 01:23:47.760 We were just talking about is two guys, one girl, threesome kind of in general, kind of like like a little gay. 01:23:48.319 --> 01:23:52.960 I mean if the well the and the but the guys don't like suck each other off or anything like that? 01:23:53.279 --> 01:24:03.520 No, but I'm like, I think I think it and and I'm saying it with all love, a little gay to be to be fucking with your homeboy, and that's cool, and I love it. 01:24:03.680 --> 01:24:18.399 And I think and I think we should expand our view of that, and you know I don't I don't want any I don't want any self-uh identifying straight men to not have a threesome with their homeboy because they think it's a little gay if they want to have it, but consider them. 01:24:18.880 --> 01:24:19.680 Are you saying that a little bit? 01:24:20.000 --> 01:24:21.199 Orgies are gay? 01:24:21.439 --> 01:24:26.000 I mean like a lit like I mean queer. 01:24:26.720 --> 01:24:28.880 Okay, you're saying that orgies are at least a little queer. 01:24:29.119 --> 01:24:30.880 Okay, I'm dropping things in the back. 01:24:31.039 --> 01:24:33.199 Um I think a little bit. 01:24:33.359 --> 01:24:34.239 I mean, yeah. 01:24:34.399 --> 01:24:35.760 Like, is this crazy? 01:24:35.920 --> 01:24:36.880 This might be crazy. 01:24:37.039 --> 01:24:39.279 I guess this is a little cra maybe this is crazy. 01:24:39.600 --> 01:24:41.199 This is the only reason why I'm thinking. 01:24:41.680 --> 01:24:45.600 I'm like straight, even I think even straight orgy, brother. 01:24:45.680 --> 01:24:52.079 You're having a bunch of sex with a bunch of people, some of those including um, you know, like like men. 01:24:52.560 --> 01:24:58.720 And I mean, sexuality be is is is a spectrum, and I think on the spectrum, you'd be a little gay with that. 01:24:58.880 --> 01:24:59.119 Right, right. 01:24:59.279 --> 01:25:00.640 And then I say it with all love. 01:25:00.880 --> 01:25:01.279 No, no, no. 01:25:01.600 --> 01:25:06.479 Just in the same way that if I'm gonna have a threesome with a girl, that's a little gay of me. 01:25:06.560 --> 01:25:06.880 Right. 01:25:07.359 --> 01:25:14.079 Because I think maybe there exists women or men who are like, I definitely don't want any part of that. 01:25:14.159 --> 01:25:15.760 And I'm like, okay, go off. 01:25:16.319 --> 01:25:20.560 And maybe they're they're they're on they're in a different uh area of the spectrum. 01:25:20.880 --> 01:25:25.600 There are a hundred percent multiple I would say I most people don't want to have threesomes. 01:25:26.239 --> 01:25:26.640 You think? 01:25:26.880 --> 01:25:27.600 I think so, yes. 01:25:27.840 --> 01:25:28.079 See? 01:25:28.239 --> 01:25:31.439 And I think everyone's just a little bit more gay than they want to admit. 01:25:31.680 --> 01:25:33.359 But I don't think that's why they don't want to have threesomes. 01:25:34.159 --> 01:25:36.399 I think I think people just really don't want to have threesomes. 01:25:36.720 --> 01:25:37.039 No, yeah. 01:25:37.119 --> 01:25:39.520 I no, I think they're not into that idea. 01:25:39.760 --> 01:25:42.960 Well, yeah, I mean I think that that and that makes sense. 01:25:43.199 --> 01:25:43.680 Yeah, totally. 01:25:44.000 --> 01:25:45.199 All of it makes sense to me. 01:25:45.600 --> 01:25:48.000 I'm just like, I've just watched video videos. 01:25:48.560 --> 01:25:48.880 Same. 01:25:49.119 --> 01:25:50.000 I've watched so many videos. 01:25:50.399 --> 01:25:55.199 Two dudes, real, and one girl, and there's just nothing gay about those guys. 01:25:55.600 --> 01:25:58.399 Those are like the two straightest guys like ever. 01:25:59.439 --> 01:25:59.760 Okay. 01:26:00.239 --> 01:26:00.960 That's all. 01:26:03.119 --> 01:26:06.000 I saw, I watched, and I hate talking about porn in public. 01:26:06.319 --> 01:26:08.079 I love watching about talking about porn in public. 01:26:08.239 --> 01:26:10.399 I think it's so much I think we have to be doing it. 01:26:10.640 --> 01:26:16.800 Well, because everyone's watching it, and like why is it like all of the most taboo stuff, and we're just not talking about it, whatever. 01:26:16.960 --> 01:26:17.119 Right. 01:26:17.359 --> 01:26:19.279 You know, we're not talking about the top search terms. 01:26:21.199 --> 01:26:21.439 Exactly. 01:26:21.520 --> 01:26:23.119 That's why we have to talk about it. 01:26:23.920 --> 01:26:30.399 It's not like child, you know what it is, is it's like such a contributing it's not like fighting the status quo. 01:26:30.720 --> 01:26:32.399 No, it's contributing, and that's why we should talk about it. 01:26:32.640 --> 01:26:33.199 But why? 01:26:33.439 --> 01:26:36.399 Because we're all because not we're all. 01:26:36.479 --> 01:26:57.119 I mean, I don't know if put a blanket on it, but it's like to act like there's not millions of people around the damn planet watching barely legal get slammed by like not acknowledging it isn't gonna make that not true. 01:26:57.279 --> 01:27:02.079 Like, especially when we're talking when we're talking

about the Epstein of it all and stuff. 01:27:02.319 --> 01:27:05.600 And like, listen, and okay, okay, I've been kind of wanting to talk about it. 01:27:05.760 --> 01:27:07.039 Wait, how did Epstein get into this? 01:27:07.840 --> 01:27:14.000 No, I mean we're listening we're we're talking, we're talking about just what talk what like normal ass porn. 01:27:14.159 --> 01:27:16.640 No, normal, yeah, I know, like, but like, but that's the thing. 01:27:16.800 --> 01:27:20.239 Even normal porn is like, like, what's normal porn anymore? 01:27:20.560 --> 01:27:20.880 That's true. 01:27:21.039 --> 01:27:23.359 The the dial is is extreme, but on purpose. 01:27:23.520 --> 01:27:23.760 That's true. 01:27:23.920 --> 01:27:26.640 And I really don't think it's the consumer's fault at all, really. 01:27:26.800 --> 01:27:37.359 I think like not at all, but you know, like, like it's the the in the same way of the algorithm promoting whatever, like I it's capitalism, it's extreme, everything's extreme. 01:27:37.600 --> 01:27:56.479 I've been thinking about porn lately because I will straight up I'll say, as someone who has watched porn for a very long time of their life, since their grade in one form or another, I will say that in the wake of all of this stuff, my relationship to it is different. 01:27:56.640 --> 01:27:58.560 I'm seeing it different now. 01:27:58.640 --> 01:27:59.760 I'm not as horny. 01:28:00.159 --> 01:28:02.079 For the porn in the way that I used to be. 01:28:02.560 --> 01:28:05.520 And I think it's like the mask is falling a little bit. 01:28:05.680 --> 01:28:11.119 And I'm saying this with the fucking asterisk of do I think sex work is work? 01:28:11.279 --> 01:28:11.680 Yes. 01:28:11.840 --> 01:28:17.199 Do I fucking like shame anyone who's like engaging in in whatever industry? 01:28:17.359 --> 01:28:23.520 Like, no, I get that capitalism in is is our is our evil and we're fucking facing it and blah blah blah blah. 01:28:23.840 --> 01:28:52.079 But do I think that like I'm like I'm lately questioning more and more on the I'm like, is is the is the way that we treat porn is that gonna just sort of be like this big psy-op that like years later it's like oh yeah, all of the like I think kink culture and everything, all sexuality, everything's like very complicated and nuanced and very personal. 01:28:52.560 --> 01:29:09.439 I acknowledge all of that, but the industry around certain kinks, certain kinks that are predicated maybe on like youth and like varying of consents. 01:29:09.600 --> 01:29:14.079 And that's what's so and I and I say this with like I I've watched free use porn. 01:29:14.159 --> 01:29:29.439 I what like like I know what's all up on the internet and and like and I understand it, I understand how it can make you horny, but I also am trying to think who's who's who's allowing it, what are they gaining from it? 01:29:29.760 --> 01:29:30.880 I agree what I mean. 01:29:31.680 --> 01:29:38.000 I think porn is a stop because I actually also where are we in the leveling and in the deconstructing of it? 01:29:38.319 --> 01:29:40.880 I think it divorces you from your sexuality. 01:29:41.199 --> 01:29:44.399 Well, and that's what I I've been thinking from your sexuality. 01:29:44.640 --> 01:29:54.000 I've been talking, and I haven't talked about it as much with men on the podcast, but I've been talking all about coming this season and like like me coming, like women coming. 01:29:54.399 --> 01:29:55.600 Why don't you talk about it with men? 01:29:55.920 --> 01:29:56.079 Huh? 01:29:56.239 --> 01:29:57.359 Why don't you talk about it with men? 01:29:57.600 --> 01:29:59.039 Well, because that's terrifying. 01:29:59.279 --> 01:30:02.239 No, I'm reverse I mean it's called reverse sexism. 01:30:02.560 --> 01:30:03.199 Oh, isn't it? 01:30:03.359 --> 01:30:05.039 Okay, maybe that is reverse sexism. 01:30:05.199 --> 01:30:06.880 Maybe I'm not giving it the chance. 01:30:07.119 --> 01:30:07.600 No, I'm joking. 01:30:07.840 --> 01:30:15.600 But no, it's it is it is true that like I I think about it where I'm like trying to understand my own sexuality. 01:30:16.000 --> 01:30:25.680 I I am understanding my sexuality in a different way than I ever have before, just because of like life and time and experience and abuse and blah blah and like violation, blah blah. 01:30:25.840 --> 01:30:40.560 But also just like in a cultural sort of like way, like all of that shit, everything everything that's come out in the wash as of late in such obvious ways is like, oh, this is foundational to how I think about myself though, because of like the culture that has made it a certain way. 01:30:40.800 --> 01:31:02.079 And you're talking about the culture of like sexually young women, rape like general rape culture, general like growing up, um 90s, early 2000s, and like sexuality sort of being like like pushed on girls as like as a culture, like like I remember being called slut in in third grade, no one really knew what slut meant. 01:31:02.319 --> 01:31:02.800 You know what I mean? 01:31:02.880 --> 01:31:05.119 But it's like it was a mean girls or whatever, you know. 01:31:05.359 --> 01:31:12.000 And like so, this this sort of being an element of life, but not something that was like something I had agency over, you know. 01:31:12.560 --> 01:31:24.079 I actually think that underratedly, well, and we're gonna look back on it the early 2000s or like the 2000s, yeah, were a terrible time to grow up. 01:31:24.800 --> 01:31:26.000 I think a really bad one. 01:31:26.159 --> 01:31:26.479 Yeah. 01:31:26.640 --> 01:31:27.600 I I really do think so. 01:31:27.920 --> 01:31:30.720 I think we're gonna look back on it and be like, oh yeah, that was really bad. 01:31:31.039 --> 01:31:40.960 But I think it's what will hopefully make us able to like create a better future because we've had sort of like we've had two sides of the same coin of like bad culture, you know what I mean? 01:31:41.039 --> 01:31:45.119 Like

we're living in this like next evolution of it, but we saw the seeds of it planted. 01:31:45.199 --> 01:31:45.920 Do you know what I'm saying? 01:31:46.159 --> 01:31:46.640 Well, totally. 01:31:46.800 --> 01:31:53.279 Well, actually, that's funny that I I actually think we grew up in a way better time than anyone after us now that I'm thinking about it. 01:31:53.520 --> 01:31:58.399 I would so much rather have grown up and we did than once social media was like a real thing. 01:31:58.720 --> 01:32:08.079 I know it is, it is, yeah, it's it's hard because it's everything's more extreme now, but I also think that the kids have an ability to be more smarter now. 01:32:08.720 --> 01:32:11.920 The kids that are growing up now, yeah, but like Gen Z. 01:32:12.560 --> 01:32:14.720 Gen Z, they're confused, but they're on their way. 01:32:14.880 --> 01:32:25.520 They're on their way, they're on their way just because but just because like getting older they will eventually, but like Gen Z grew up fully in like tech will save you. 01:32:25.680 --> 01:32:29.119 Yeah, but they're already like rebuking it, and that's what's cool. 01:32:29.279 --> 01:32:30.720 That's the thing, they're seeing the turnaround. 01:32:30.960 --> 01:32:32.000 It's too late, I guess. 01:32:32.239 --> 01:32:35.039 No, it's never too late, Charles! It's too late for them. 01:32:35.600 --> 01:32:36.800 Oh, wait, are you Gen Z? 01:32:37.199 --> 01:32:37.840 No, okay. 01:32:37.920 --> 01:32:38.880 You're I'm on the edge. 01:32:39.039 --> 01:32:39.760 You're a Zelennial. 01:32:39.920 --> 01:32:41.680 I'm a I'm a young, I'm a young millennial. 01:32:41.760 --> 01:32:43.359 I don't think I'm actually a Zillennial. 01:32:43.439 --> 01:32:49.920 Okay, but what's funny is I have one viral post online and people are like Gen Z are doing it for us all. 01:32:50.000 --> 01:32:51.279 They think they're all calling me Gen Z. 01:32:51.359 --> 01:32:52.239 I'm like, all right, go off. 01:32:52.640 --> 01:32:53.680 I'm like, I'll take it. 01:32:53.840 --> 01:32:54.560 Whatever. 01:32:55.119 --> 01:32:59.039 Uh anyways, I can't remember how we got over here. 01:32:59.279 --> 01:33:01.119 But yeah, you think they're having a worse time. 01:33:01.359 --> 01:33:02.560 I think that they're having a worse time. 01:33:02.640 --> 01:33:06.159 I think it's gonna be really hard for them to figure it out. 01:33:06.399 --> 01:33:16.000 I think that Gen Alpha 2, the the hope is in like my really young nieces and nephews who are being raised with no social media because my millennials are scared, yeah. 01:33:16.159 --> 01:33:19.920 Yeah, my millennial um siblings know that it's bad. 01:33:20.640 --> 01:33:24.319 And they're like gonna try to raise them with no social media for as long as possible. 01:33:24.560 --> 01:33:24.880 Yeah. 01:33:25.119 --> 01:33:27.520 And I think that that generation actually has a real chance. 01:33:27.840 --> 01:33:29.520 I thought he was gonna mess with something. 01:33:29.680 --> 01:33:30.479 My cat has done this. 01:33:31.119 --> 01:33:31.920 No, he has done it. 01:33:32.000 --> 01:33:33.520 He has stopped recording the podcast before. 01:33:33.760 --> 01:33:34.319 That's so cute. 01:33:34.479 --> 01:33:36.399 It's he's pretty cute, but he is obstructive. 01:33:36.560 --> 01:33:37.600 Are you do you want babies? 01:33:37.760 --> 01:33:39.439 Do you want children into this world? 01:33:40.000 --> 01:33:41.439 Yeah, I want one, I want one baby. 01:33:41.520 --> 01:33:42.079 Yeah, one baby. 01:33:42.159 --> 01:33:43.199 Yeah, one singular. 01:33:43.439 --> 01:33:44.000 Yes. 01:33:44.560 --> 01:33:45.600 This is interesting. 01:33:45.840 --> 01:33:46.479 Yeah. 01:33:46.880 --> 01:33:48.880 Because I have so many brothers, that's why it's so weird. 01:33:49.039 --> 01:33:50.800 How many brothers or how many siblings are you? 01:33:50.960 --> 01:33:51.680 I have four brothers. 01:33:52.000 --> 01:33:52.960 Where are you in the line? 01:33:53.359 --> 01:33:54.000 Middle. 01:33:54.640 --> 01:33:55.039 Yeah. 01:33:55.199 --> 01:33:55.439 Yeah. 01:33:55.760 --> 01:33:56.479 There it is. 01:33:56.800 --> 01:33:58.319 Did you have to fend for yourself a lot? 01:33:58.479 --> 01:33:59.359 Oh, are you kidding me? 01:33:59.520 --> 01:33:59.920 All the time. 01:34:00.079 --> 01:34:00.319 Yeah. 01:34:00.479 --> 01:34:01.119 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:34:01.279 --> 01:34:03.039 Were you upper middle or lower middle? 01:34:03.359 --> 01:34:06.399 Danny Sellers was upper middle, and he also said the same. 01:34:06.720 --> 01:34:10.640 I have half some of them are half siblings. 01:34:10.720 --> 01:34:10.880 Okay. 01:34:11.279 --> 01:34:12.800 So I did not live with them. 01:34:13.119 --> 01:34:15.680 So you are you the only one that's no. 01:34:15.920 --> 01:34:16.560 No, no, no, no. 01:34:16.720 --> 01:34:16.800 Okay. 01:34:17.119 --> 01:34:20.640 Three of them are my mom and my dad's. 01:34:21.279 --> 01:34:26.960 So I was dead in the middle of the three of us, and the other one, the other ones never lived with us. 01:34:27.600 --> 01:34:27.840 Okay. 01:34:28.800 --> 01:34:34.560 You're in the middle of the uh So I was raised in a house of three three brothers. 01:34:34.800 --> 01:34:35.039 Yeah. 01:34:35.279 --> 01:34:38.479 And I was dead in the middle of the and how's mom with your older brother? 01:34:39.680 --> 01:34:40.960 I'm just kidding. 01:34:41.199 --> 01:34:42.399 I'm just kidding. 01:34:42.720 --> 01:34:43.279 She's not. 01:34:43.520 --> 01:34:43.760 No. 01:34:44.239 --> 01:34:45.439 It's not like just me. 01:34:45.680 --> 01:34:47.359 No, it's an affection thing. 01:34:47.680 --> 01:34:51.760 No, uh how do you how are you about receiving affection now in your adults? 01:34:52.079 --> 01:34:52.479 Terrible, terrible. 01:34:52.640 --> 01:34:52.800 Terrible. 01:34:53.039 --> 01:34:53.279 Yeah, yeah. 01:34:53.600 --> 01:34:55.359 Did your girlfriend break down your walls and how? 01:34:55.680 --> 01:34:56.319 Oh no, she did not.

01:34:56.479 --> 01:34:56.960 Oh, she didn't. 01:34:57.039 --> 01:34:57.600 She's working on it. 01:34:58.560 --> 01:35:01.680 No, I think she can't sure or she loves you who you for who you are. 01:35:01.840 --> 01:35:02.159 Yeah. 01:35:02.720 --> 01:35:02.960 Yeah. 01:35:03.199 --> 01:35:12.800 Since sincerely, I think like we'll we'll eat we even have a thing where we'll be talking to each other and we'll be like, okay, no, uh, we have this thing called don't put it on my to-do list. 01:35:13.520 --> 01:35:14.560 Okay, we'll go on. 01:35:15.119 --> 01:35:23.279 When one of us is just trying to vent or doing talking about something, and the other one is trying to be like, Well, this would be why don't you try this? 01:35:23.359 --> 01:35:25.119 Or I'm gonna get you out of this. 01:35:25.680 --> 01:35:30.560 We both, and her too, she'll just be like, Don't put this on my to-do list, and I'll be like, Don't put it on our to-do list. 01:35:30.640 --> 01:35:31.760 And we're like, Okay, and we just put it on the code. 01:35:31.920 --> 01:35:32.800 That's a good boundary. 01:35:33.119 --> 01:35:37.199 Honestly, it well that's yeah, and it's totally natural, by the way. 01:35:37.279 --> 01:35:41.840 Yeah, it happened organically that we both just came together at this moment in our lives. 01:35:41.920 --> 01:35:44.079 We oh no, mister. 01:35:44.640 --> 01:35:45.840 See, he's starting to get bored. 01:35:46.159 --> 01:35:49.039 He's trying to put my oh can he knows this will get him the attention. 01:35:49.439 --> 01:35:50.479 Literally, yeah. 01:35:50.800 --> 01:35:51.439 Go on. 01:35:51.840 --> 01:35:55.359 We just like organically, we didn't have to work that hard at it. 01:35:55.680 --> 01:35:59.520 We just really respect each other's boundaries and we're incredible communicators. 01:35:59.680 --> 01:36:01.680 I think we we just found the right person. 01:36:01.920 --> 01:36:03.680 I just think that that that that that can happen. 01:36:03.920 --> 01:36:06.880 See, part of the reason I wanted you on my podcast because we we started talking. 01:36:07.039 --> 01:36:14.319 We I I came to you, and we're not talking about on this podcast because I'm not talking about it, but I came to you after I had uh, you know, whatever. 01:36:14.399 --> 01:36:16.239 We were we've just been talking about dating in love. 01:36:16.399 --> 01:36:17.199 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:36:17.520 --> 01:36:23.279 And you told me that you were like so early on, pretty much like uh first first. 01:36:23.680 --> 01:36:23.920 Yeah. 01:36:24.079 --> 01:36:30.079 And what do you think it was the first second about her looking back? 01:36:30.399 --> 01:36:31.680 And does it make sense to you? 01:36:32.239 --> 01:36:32.800 Total vibe. 01:36:33.039 --> 01:36:35.119 What's what's what's her vibe giving you? 01:36:35.359 --> 01:36:36.640 I I I couldn't tell you. 01:36:37.359 --> 01:36:38.239 Yes, you can. 01:36:39.199 --> 01:36:41.279 Where time take me, where are we? 01:36:41.439 --> 01:36:42.319 Time and place. 01:36:42.560 --> 01:36:43.279 We're at the bar. 01:36:43.920 --> 01:36:46.479 You actually want to know like when we first on our first date. 01:36:46.720 --> 01:36:49.199 Well, I'm trying to to capture the feeling, but yeah. 01:36:49.359 --> 01:36:53.760 Or like like what what was it that was so instantaneous? 01:36:55.920 --> 01:37:00.399 Well okay, I invited her. 01:37:00.560 --> 01:37:07.199 I used to do a weekly comedy show at this bar in Brooklyn, and I just invited every first date there, which people think is weird, but honestly. 01:37:07.439 --> 01:37:08.319 For to your show? 01:37:08.399 --> 01:37:08.640 Yeah. 01:37:08.880 --> 01:37:10.319 To watch you perform. 01:37:10.640 --> 01:37:12.000 Well, yes. 01:37:13.279 --> 01:37:15.520 Like you're hosting it and then you're sitting back down, type of thing. 01:37:15.600 --> 01:37:16.640 Or yes, I was the host. 01:37:16.800 --> 01:37:18.079 And you're like, are you having fun? 01:37:18.239 --> 01:37:20.560 Yeah, and then afterwards I would we would like get a drink. 01:37:20.720 --> 01:37:20.960 Okay. 01:37:21.199 --> 01:37:22.159 I had all these drink tickets. 01:37:22.319 --> 01:37:32.000 So you're saying this is this is the way that I am gonna present myself because I know that this is I am presenting myself in the in the it wasn't even that thought out. 01:37:32.079 --> 01:37:34.880 It was just like, this is a place I'm at every Tuesday. 01:37:35.119 --> 01:37:35.600 Easy. 01:37:35.760 --> 01:37:37.520 From 7:30 till whenever I'm gonna be. 01:37:37.680 --> 01:37:40.880 But you're feeling good at yourself about yourself in the in the performing space. 01:37:41.119 --> 01:37:42.960 I feel good about myself in the performing space, yes. 01:37:43.039 --> 01:37:47.279 I also feel I also we meet we did it at this bar that was a cocktail bar. 01:37:47.840 --> 01:37:48.640 That was really low lighting. 01:37:48.880 --> 01:37:49.119 Yeah, yeah. 01:37:49.279 --> 01:37:49.520 Oh, okay. 01:37:50.079 --> 01:37:50.720 It's giving date. 01:37:50.880 --> 01:37:52.399 It's giving date anyway. 01:37:52.720 --> 01:37:54.800 I got like 50 drink tickets. 01:37:54.880 --> 01:37:55.279 Yeah. 01:37:55.520 --> 01:38:00.239 So not only did I was that never a thing, like who's gonna do this, who's gonna pay, blah, blah, blah. 01:38:00.640 --> 01:38:03.520 I actually think people felt special. 01:38:03.600 --> 01:38:05.199 They're like, oh, I got a drink ticket. 01:38:05.279 --> 01:38:05.520 Yeah. 01:38:05.760 --> 01:38:07.600 Like I'm on the list. 01:38:07.760 --> 01:38:08.720 Yeah, like I'm on the list. 01:38:09.279 --> 01:38:11.680 Not like this guy's a cheapo, got me these drink tickets. 01:38:11.840 --> 01:38:11.920 Yeah. 01:38:12.399 --> 01:38:13.279 Like, well, this is cool. 01:38:13.520 --> 01:38:13.840 Sure. 01:38:14.000 --> 01:38:16.720 It was like a little special like moment thing. 01:38:17.039 --> 01:38:17.199 Yes. 01:38:17.359 --> 01:38:17.840 Yeah. 01:38:18.079 -->

01:38:21.279 And once again, I felt good in that space, and I was always gonna be there. 01:38:21.439 --> 01:38:23.119 I wasn't I never missed that show ever. 01:38:23.760 --> 01:38:26.399 And so I invited her to the show, and she was like, Oh, that's so funny. 01:38:26.640 --> 01:38:31.840 I'm I I'm in a reading group around the corner, so I'm gonna miss the show, but I can come hang after. 01:38:32.159 --> 01:38:32.479 Okay. 01:38:32.800 --> 01:38:34.159 And I was like, Oh, cool, girl. 01:38:34.399 --> 01:38:34.640 Hang out. 01:38:34.720 --> 01:38:35.680 She's got her own stuff going on. 01:38:37.359 --> 01:38:38.560 Yeah, she's reading. 01:38:38.720 --> 01:38:38.960 Whatever. 01:38:39.840 --> 01:38:40.319 Whatever. 01:38:40.560 --> 01:38:48.720 And then she came, and I was in the middle of a conversation with these people who had come to the show and were like talking to me about my set. 01:38:49.520 --> 01:38:57.840 And uh I was like, she came in and in a superficial way, she was better looking at her pictures. 01:38:58.079 --> 01:38:58.800 You're like, hello. 01:38:58.960 --> 01:39:00.079 Yeah, because she's from App. 01:39:00.319 --> 01:39:02.239 She was she was on it was it was Tinder. 01:39:02.479 --> 01:39:03.760 When Tinder was still okay. 01:39:04.000 --> 01:39:07.039 When Tinder was when people were still making relationships off Tinder. 01:39:07.199 --> 01:39:07.920 I would say thriving. 01:39:08.079 --> 01:39:09.199 Thriving days got in. 01:39:09.359 --> 01:39:10.479 I say Tinder thriving days. 01:39:10.640 --> 01:39:10.880 Yeah, yeah. 01:39:11.119 --> 01:39:14.399 No, no, I mean I know people who got in at that time and they're still together. 01:39:15.039 --> 01:39:16.159 This is 2018. 01:39:16.319 --> 01:39:16.720 Yeah, yeah. 01:39:17.279 --> 01:39:17.680 Literally that year. 01:39:18.399 --> 01:39:18.640 Yeah, yeah. 01:39:18.800 --> 01:39:19.199 Exactly that. 01:39:19.279 --> 01:39:19.520 Yeah. 01:39:19.680 --> 01:39:20.319 Yeah, thriving. 01:39:20.399 --> 01:39:22.159 Post Trump, but still Tinder thriving. 01:39:22.399 --> 01:39:22.960 People are getting horny. 01:39:23.199 --> 01:39:23.680 People are horny. 01:39:23.760 --> 01:39:24.159 They want to live. 01:39:24.319 --> 01:39:24.800 And people are horny. 01:39:25.119 --> 01:39:25.680 They want to live. 01:39:26.560 --> 01:39:29.439 They want to lock into what's gonna ride them through the next four years. 01:39:29.600 --> 01:39:32.239 And before Pan, I think the pandemic fucked everything, but whatever. 01:39:32.319 --> 01:39:32.479 Yeah. 01:39:32.560 --> 01:39:33.600 That's a whole nother thing. 01:39:34.399 --> 01:39:36.159 We don't have to try to figure that one out. 01:39:36.560 --> 01:39:38.000 We're gonna try to figure out this one. 01:39:38.239 --> 01:39:38.800 She came in. 01:39:38.880 --> 01:39:40.399 I was talking to these people about my set. 01:39:40.479 --> 01:39:42.000 I had this really weird riff. 01:39:42.079 --> 01:39:49.920 This guy gave me this really weird, overly kind of like uh comfortable riff on a joke I told. 01:39:51.520 --> 01:39:52.159 Overly familiar. 01:39:52.399 --> 01:39:53.520 Like overly familiar, thank you. 01:39:53.600 --> 01:39:54.399 Yeah, that's the word I was like. 01:39:54.880 --> 01:39:55.279 I got you. 01:39:55.439 --> 01:39:56.000 Yeah, I got you. 01:39:56.159 --> 01:39:58.800 This is also a triggering thing to me when people are overly familiar. 01:39:59.279 --> 01:40:05.680 And this this guy was like overly familiar, was like riffing with me about this thing that I talked about on stage. 01:40:05.920 --> 01:40:09.359 She literally had walked in, I had just introduced myself to her. 01:40:09.439 --> 01:40:09.600 Yeah. 01:40:09.760 --> 01:40:12.319 And then we both turned because this guy was like in the middle. 01:40:12.399 --> 01:40:14.720 He said this really weird off-color joke. 01:40:14.960 --> 01:40:19.920 And then I was like, oh, hey, do you mind if I just like talk to these people for a second? 01:40:20.399 --> 01:40:21.920 There's some stuff I have to do for the show. 01:40:22.239 --> 01:40:23.119 And I was like, here. 01:40:23.279 --> 01:40:24.640 And I gave her three drink tickets. 01:40:25.039 --> 01:40:25.279 Nice. 01:40:25.520 --> 01:40:27.039 And she was like, no problem. 01:40:27.920 --> 01:40:32.800 And then she went to the bar and she ordered a drink with the drink tickets. 01:40:33.520 --> 01:40:38.800 And then she came back and stood next to me while I was talking to these guys. 01:40:39.840 --> 01:40:41.600 And I was like, this is so cool. 01:40:42.000 --> 01:40:42.560 She's just here. 01:40:42.960 --> 01:40:46.319 She's and she c and she contributed to the conversation like she was comfortable. 01:40:46.560 --> 01:40:47.119 She was comfortable. 01:40:47.520 --> 01:40:49.039 Totally and completely comfortable. 01:40:49.439 --> 01:40:54.560 And she didn't like take the drink tickets and sit at the bar and like wait for me and make me feel like I gotta do blah blah blah blah blah. 01:40:54.800 --> 01:40:55.039 Right. 01:40:55.199 --> 01:40:57.520 She just literally got right into it. 01:40:57.760 --> 01:40:59.439 Nice with me in the mix. 01:40:59.680 --> 01:41:01.279 She got right into the mix. 01:41:02.239 --> 01:41:05.600 And did you feel it like while you're talking to these people? 01:41:05.760 --> 01:41:08.239 Are you is it like literally like registering to you in real time? 01:41:08.319 --> 01:41:09.039 Like, oh, that's cool. 01:41:09.119 --> 01:41:10.000 She's like, yeah, yeah. 01:41:10.079 --> 01:41:11.439 Like 100% with you. 01:41:11.920 --> 01:41:12.159 Nice. 01:41:12.399 --> 01:41:14.720 When she left with the drink tickets, I was like, ah fuck. 01:41:14.800 --> 01:41:16.560 Like, I'm stuck talking to these people. 01:41:16.720 --> 01:41:17.039 Yeah. 01:41:17.279 --> 01:41:19.920 And we had to do shit like put the mics away, blah blah blah. 01:41:20.239 --> 01:41:21.600 And I was like, I don't I don't really want to do that. 01:41:21.680

--> 01:41:22.800 I kind of want to talk to this person. 01:41:23.039 --> 01:41:24.720 So when she came back, I was like, oh great. 01:41:24.880 --> 01:41:25.439 She came back. 01:41:25.600 --> 01:41:25.920 Yeah. 01:41:26.239 --> 01:41:26.640 Cool. 01:41:27.279 --> 01:41:32.159 And then she like hung and she could like riff and with these people she had never met. 01:41:32.720 --> 01:41:37.359 And uh I was just like, this is I was like, this is I knew. 01:41:37.600 --> 01:41:37.920 I knew. 01:41:38.319 --> 01:41:38.479 Yeah. 01:41:39.359 --> 01:41:40.319 Which is kind of crazy. 01:41:40.640 --> 01:41:48.880 Do you feel like what what's like the once you also start to like really see each other and you're getting to know each other? 01:41:48.960 --> 01:41:52.399 Like, what is affirming that feeling for you? 01:41:52.479 --> 01:41:56.880 Or like what how are you feeling in the dynamic with her? 01:41:57.039 --> 01:42:00.239 Are you feeling like, oh, so yourself? 01:42:00.399 --> 01:42:03.520 Are you feeling like you want to be you know what I mean? 01:42:03.600 --> 01:42:06.960 Like, what is she bringing out in totally myself from the first second? 01:42:07.119 --> 01:42:15.760 Yeah, totally myself, and also like so like um you don't have to win it over, win her over. 01:42:16.000 --> 01:42:24.880 Don't have to win it over, and it was just easy, no games, like yeah, that was the height of like game time, game culture, game culture, like now. 01:42:24.960 --> 01:42:26.800 People just ghost, yeah, yeah. 01:42:27.039 --> 01:42:36.239 But back in those days, like anxious avoidant, and yeah, lifestyle, which is definitely worse, but yeah, those were like the game days where everyone was playing these dumb games. 01:42:36.319 --> 01:42:39.920 There was like a ton shoot, and we just played no games, yeah. 01:42:40.159 --> 01:42:44.640 And there was also this thing that I now do where it'd be like, Hey, you want to hang out on Tuesday? 01:42:44.800 --> 01:42:47.680 And if she was like, I can't, she'd be like, What are you doing Saturday? 01:42:47.920 --> 01:42:48.960 And I'd be like great. 01:42:49.199 --> 01:42:54.880 Always the follow-up, the follow-up with a because that could just be feel like such a rejection if it's just the rejection. 01:42:55.199 --> 01:42:59.760 It is a it is someone's like no, I can't, yeah, no, nothing else. 01:43:00.159 --> 01:43:03.359 And then like making you have to be like, Well, what about blah blah blah blah blah? 01:43:03.680 --> 01:43:24.399 I'm trying to always pay attention to that now that I realize later in life, after all of the relationships that were founded on a total imbalance, you know, I'm like trying to recognize because uh it's like I don't want to be like hyper analytic about it where I'm like you know getting in my own head or whatever, but it's like okay, am I always making the plan? 01:43:24.560 --> 01:43:25.279 And what does that mean? 01:43:25.439 --> 01:43:26.399 Yeah, you know what I mean? 01:43:26.560 --> 01:43:26.880 Yeah, yeah. 01:43:27.119 --> 01:43:33.840 And and it's interesting to not always make the plan or you or to see what happens if you don't, you know, if the space will be filled. 01:43:34.079 --> 01:43:34.399 Yeah. 01:43:34.560 --> 01:43:35.199 Yeah. 01:43:35.439 --> 01:43:37.359 And and it just always was. 01:43:37.760 --> 01:43:38.239 Well, yeah. 01:43:38.319 --> 01:43:42.560 I mean, I I wasn't gonna be making the the only one making the plans anyway. 01:43:42.640 --> 01:43:42.800 Yeah. 01:43:42.960 --> 01:43:44.560 But I would say it was a really good 50-50. 01:43:44.720 --> 01:43:45.520 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:43:45.760 --> 01:43:48.800 It felt really like we were both exchanging. 01:43:49.039 --> 01:43:53.520 Also, there was a time limit on it because she was gonna get her PhD. 01:43:53.840 --> 01:43:54.159 Oh. 01:43:54.640 --> 01:43:56.239 So she was moving to New Mexico. 01:43:56.640 --> 01:44:06.880 So we only had three and a half months to like to lock something to to def so did you define after when did you do that? 01:44:07.119 --> 01:44:15.199 We were like, she was like when the three and a half months was up, we were like, and I also think that's why we didn't really play any games because we were like, we don't have to, we're done in three and a half months. 01:44:15.279 --> 01:44:15.520 Who cares? 01:44:16.399 --> 01:44:18.640 Let's just have as much fun with this person as possible, yeah. 01:44:19.119 --> 01:44:24.399 Like go on cool dates, have as much sex as we can, and right, and like then I'm out of here. 01:44:24.880 --> 01:44:29.520 But then when we she was leaving, we both were like, Oh, maybe we just keep in touch. 01:44:29.760 --> 01:44:32.319 Hmm, keep in touch, yeah, keep in touch, yeah. 01:44:32.720 --> 01:44:34.000 Let's just see what happens. 01:44:34.239 --> 01:44:46.399 When those mu the when the end of that is like approaching, are you are you still convincing yourself that like, oh well, it'll be just or is there like a dread coming, like, oh no, wait, she are you starting to feel like oh she's leaving? 01:44:46.720 --> 01:44:47.119 Do you remember? 01:44:48.239 --> 01:44:52.239 I'm telling you, there was never one second of doubt that it would not get to where we're at now. 01:44:52.399 --> 01:44:52.640 Really? 01:44:52.720 --> 01:44:56.000 You were just like, oh, we'll just we'll just I was just like, oh, we'll figure it out. 01:44:56.079 --> 01:44:58.640 She'll be gone for three years, but whatever. 01:44:58.720 --> 01:44:59.199 We'll do that. 01:44:59.439 --> 01:45:04.159 But you weren't we're you weren't necessarily saying it in that such sort of confidence, right? 01:45:04.479 --> 01:45:05.039 Oh no, no, no. 01:45:05.199 --> 01:45:05.760 No, no, no. 01:45:05.920 --> 01:45:12.319 You're just like, in my little secret head, I know that we're staying in touch, but yeah, yeah. 01:45:12.399 --> 01:45:16.479 And I knew, and we were like, Oh, but we'll and we'll we'll see other people,

like, don't worry about that. 01:45:16.560 --> 01:45:17.840 We're not boyfriend, girlfriends. 01:45:18.159 --> 01:45:21.840 Okay, yeah, we'll just start talking, and then we did for three years. 01:45:21.920 --> 01:45:25.199 We were like technically open while she was at school. 01:45:25.359 --> 01:45:25.760 Yeah. 01:45:25.920 --> 01:45:31.760 And we talked, and then we were like officially boyfriend and girlfriend when she came back on one of uh on a break one time. 01:45:32.239 --> 01:45:32.880 So funny. 01:45:33.359 --> 01:45:36.399 Three months to then three, and now you're boyfriend, girlfriend. 01:45:36.720 --> 01:45:38.000 Now now, yeah. 01:45:38.159 --> 01:45:41.920 Well, no, we were we eventually were like boyfriend, girlfriend out in her first year of oh, okay. 01:45:42.000 --> 01:45:43.359 You guys like were like, this is dumb. 01:45:43.439 --> 01:45:44.079 This is dumb. 01:45:44.159 --> 01:45:45.039 Let's just be boyfriend, girlfriend. 01:45:45.119 --> 01:45:45.199 Okay. 01:45:45.359 --> 01:45:51.119 But then we did stay open for the her last two years of school, which I also think was really good. 01:45:51.359 --> 01:45:51.680 Mm-hmm. 01:45:51.840 --> 01:45:55.920 Like, did it just feel like less pressure to like Yeah, took all the pressure off. 01:45:56.079 --> 01:46:00.159 It wasn't even about like me wanting to like run around and fuck as many people as I can. 01:46:00.239 --> 01:46:02.399 It was more about just being like, I could if I wanted to. 01:46:02.640 --> 01:46:02.880 Right. 01:46:02.960 --> 01:46:10.800 Like I it does sort of feel like it means something else to be like in a long distance relationship that you are like demanding is exclusive. 01:46:10.960 --> 01:46:14.960 Like that sort of feels like a I don't know, maybe it's on a different like scale. 01:46:15.199 --> 01:46:23.600 Even if you're just doing that like by default, you know, like maybe the maybe that like gives it a seriousness or something. 01:46:23.840 --> 01:46:31.039 It also like makes you you do you don't feel like you're missing out on anything if you're in an open relationship. 01:46:31.359 --> 01:46:36.960 Like let's say hypothetically I went to a party and I had a really good connection with someone and we were flirting. 01:46:37.039 --> 01:46:39.039 I and I could go home and have sex with them. 01:46:39.439 --> 01:46:39.680 Right. 01:46:39.840 --> 01:46:43.680 And not be like and and yeah, yeah, and not be cheating or not be cheating. 01:46:43.840 --> 01:46:44.159 Yeah. 01:46:44.399 --> 01:46:48.560 But if I if I was like, oh, I can't do this, I want to, but I can't. 01:46:48.720 --> 01:46:48.960 Yeah. 01:46:49.199 --> 01:46:51.680 It might be like, fuck that you know that rule. 01:46:53.439 --> 01:46:54.159 Yeah, yeah. 01:46:54.399 --> 01:46:55.920 You're you're the cop now. 01:46:56.079 --> 01:46:58.880 Yeah, like you never want your girlfriend to be the cop. 01:46:59.119 --> 01:47:00.960 Okay, Fred, be be relaxed. 01:47:01.119 --> 01:47:02.159

Did Fred just touch my leg? 01:47:02.319 --> 01:47:03.199 He did, he just went. 01:47:03.920 --> 01:47:05.039 He wants attention. 01:47:05.119 --> 01:47:06.479 He has no teeth if you've realized. 01:47:06.800 --> 01:47:07.840 He has no teeth, by the way. 01:47:08.000 --> 01:47:08.640 He has no teeth. 01:47:08.880 --> 01:47:09.600 You took his teeth out? 01:47:10.800 --> 01:47:17.520 They took his teeth out because he has cat FIV, he has he has cat HIV, yeah, and they took all his teeth out. 01:47:17.680 --> 01:47:19.039 But that's good, that's okay. 01:47:19.279 --> 01:47:19.760 Wait a while. 01:47:19.920 --> 01:47:21.760 He's happy with no teeth. 01:47:22.159 --> 01:47:24.159 It was hurting him to have teeth, actually. 01:47:25.520 --> 01:47:26.239 How old? 01:47:26.479 --> 01:47:27.680 He's like five years old. 01:47:27.840 --> 01:47:30.399 Stop taking attention away from the podcast. 01:47:30.640 --> 01:47:35.760 So, do you feel like your relationship has solved your mama's um no? 01:47:35.840 --> 01:47:36.800 There's never a solving. 01:47:36.960 --> 01:47:37.920 Yeah, I would say there's never a solving. 01:47:38.720 --> 01:47:39.760 Every time I think it has. 01:47:40.000 --> 01:47:40.560 Yeah. 01:47:40.880 --> 01:48:09.520 No, because that's a I I the more and more I live and grow and and and and heal or try, relax, cat, is really just, I feel like it's like, like, what's the healthy version of compartmentalization where I'm starting to realize, like, oh yeah, certain traumas and dynamics like that have informed the way that my brain works and the way that I move through life, like I have, I have kept remaining true by deciding that that is the truth. 01:48:09.600 --> 01:48:09.760 Yes. 01:48:09.920 --> 01:48:13.039 Whereas it's like, okay, does my dad not know how to give me a hug? 01:48:13.199 --> 01:48:14.159 Say, I love you good. 01:48:14.239 --> 01:48:16.159 Yeah, no, but that's that. 01:48:16.319 --> 01:48:16.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:48:17.039 --> 01:48:18.720 And am I lovable still? 01:48:18.960 --> 01:48:21.920 Yes, you know, could it be? 01:48:22.319 --> 01:48:26.159 Well, and it also is funny because like neither of my brothers did any therapy. 01:48:26.399 --> 01:48:27.520 Okay, are they messed up? 01:48:27.600 --> 01:48:28.560 What's that what's their deal? 01:48:28.800 --> 01:48:36.560 They're they're more like emotionally messed up than me, but their lives are bet are not worse than mine in any way, shape, or form. 01:48:36.880 --> 01:48:39.920 Yeah, they're in long-term healthy relationships, they have children. 01:48:40.079 --> 01:48:41.279 Well, that you know they have good jobs. 01:48:41.520 --> 01:48:44.000 Oh, you know, that's why you gotta watch couples' therapy. 01:48:44.960 --> 01:48:47.119 You never know what's going on. 01:48:47.600 --> 01:48:51.439 I do think that you're right. 01:48:51.520 --> 01:48:55.680 I guess I wouldn't really know, but I feel like you do kind of know when it's bad. 01:48:56.000 --> 01:48:57.439 No, I mean, but that's the thing. 01:48:57.600 --> 01:49:04.159 Sometimes you know when it's bad when it's already been bad because it got because it got that bad to make it bad. 01:49:04.239 --> 01:49:04.319 Right. 01:49:04.560 --> 01:49:06.640 And then you're like, wait, but what about all the years before? 01:49:06.880 --> 01:49:08.239 Was it starting to get bad? 01:49:08.399 --> 01:49:09.279 It's no one's fault. 01:49:09.359 --> 01:49:10.319 There's nothing you can do about it. 01:49:10.479 --> 01:49:14.720 Right, it's just like saying you never know what's happening behind those apartment doors. 01:49:16.560 --> 01:49:25.840 But it is kind of funny that like my brothers and my life, they're not just like my life is not discernibly better than theirs in any way. 01:49:25.920 --> 01:49:28.560 And they never went to therapy, and I went to therapy for 10 years. 01:49:28.800 --> 01:49:32.319 No, I think you're you you're you're just kind you're that's the thing. 01:49:32.399 --> 01:49:34.640 We don't know what it's like in time inside someone's head. 01:49:34.800 --> 01:49:37.039 You don't know what's going on in there with those guys. 01:49:37.359 --> 01:49:37.920 That's true. 01:49:38.000 --> 01:49:39.680 I mean, they they could be fraught. 01:49:39.920 --> 01:49:41.279 They don't have they are fraught. 01:49:41.439 --> 01:49:44.479 They don't have a they don't have a place to express themselves like you. 01:49:44.560 --> 01:49:47.520 I mean, I don't know anything about them, but no, no, no. 01:49:47.600 --> 01:49:49.920 I But You know what I mean? 01:49:50.159 --> 01:49:53.039 I just I'm just saying they could be absolutely tormented and you would never know. 01:49:53.199 --> 01:49:58.720 Don't don't just kind we're trying to get more men to do therapy for ten years, so don't tell people that it's the thing. 01:49:59.039 --> 01:49:59.760 I do think that they are. 01:50:00.880 --> 01:50:01.119 Yeah. 01:50:01.359 --> 01:50:02.239 But so am I. 01:50:02.880 --> 01:50:04.960 No, but you but you can deal, you know. 01:50:05.039 --> 01:50:07.119 You don't know the ways that it's cut well, hopefully. 01:50:07.199 --> 01:50:09.119 You don't know the ways that we're all fucked up. 01:50:09.199 --> 01:50:10.000 We're all tormented. 01:50:10.079 --> 01:50:15.119 It's the fact that we let it spill out onto people in ways that aren't, you know, like good. 01:50:15.439 --> 01:50:15.920 No, no, no. 01:50:16.000 --> 01:50:16.479 I hear you. 01:50:16.640 --> 01:50:20.720 I just it's accountability for the masses to do a therapy for the self. 01:50:21.439 --> 01:50:22.720 What am I snapping? 01:50:23.119 --> 01:50:23.760 What the fuck? 01:50:24.000 --> 01:50:24.640 No, I mean I don't know. 01:50:24.800 --> 01:50:25.520 What the fuck, Fred? 01:50:25.600 --> 01:50:26.399 What do you have to say? 01:50:27.680 --> 01:50:29.680 No, I mean, all obviously I think you're right. 01:50:29.760 --> 01:50:31.279 I think everyone should do some kind of therapy.

01:50:31.680 --> 01:50:36.239 But it is just really interesting to me that my brothers have perfectly fine, good lives. 01:50:36.479 --> 01:50:43.439 And yes, I don't know what their relationships are like behind closed doors, but they have really happy kids. 01:50:43.600 --> 01:50:43.840 Yeah. 01:50:44.239 --> 01:50:45.920 At least when I see them, they're running around happy. 01:50:46.079 --> 01:50:49.760 They haven't like gone into a shell, which makes me think that they're happy. 01:50:50.079 --> 01:50:50.800 No, that's good. 01:50:50.960 --> 01:50:52.399 You don't want them to be small. 01:50:52.720 --> 01:50:52.960 Right. 01:50:53.439 --> 01:50:57.359 Anytime I see my Denises and nephews, they're running around like crazy, they're screaming, they're laughing. 01:50:57.680 --> 01:51:07.600 One of them is seven, so like this would be the time when I think that they would start going into a shell, and she's she seems totally happy being herself and like and so I'm like, oh interesting. 01:51:07.760 --> 01:51:08.720 That's all we want that. 01:51:08.800 --> 01:51:10.159 We want happy, healthy families. 01:51:10.479 --> 01:51:11.680 We want happy, healthy families. 01:51:12.000 --> 01:51:12.479 All around. 01:51:12.720 --> 01:51:13.199 All around. 01:51:13.520 --> 01:51:15.039 Charles, thanks for coming on my podcast. 01:51:15.119 --> 01:51:16.800 We're gonna do one more thing before we go. 01:51:16.880 --> 01:51:17.920 Where's my laptop? 01:51:18.399 --> 01:51:20.960 We're gonna talk about Did I drop it? 01:51:21.039 --> 01:51:21.279 It's there. 01:51:21.439 --> 01:51:22.000 The song I know. 01:51:22.239 --> 01:51:23.439 We're gonna talk about the song. 01:51:23.680 --> 01:51:28.479 Um, I talked about Lua Top, and that was that was giving my classroom crush song. 01:51:28.640 --> 01:51:33.920 Okay, not gonna lie, it does look like my crush texted me it's fine. 01:51:34.800 --> 01:51:36.159 Wait, is this the basketball guy? 01:51:36.560 --> 01:51:36.720 What? 01:51:36.960 --> 01:51:38.560 This is the guy you're going to basketball games with? 01:51:39.279 --> 01:51:39.600 No. 01:51:40.399 --> 01:51:42.960 Oh, your crush texted you it's fine just now, or no? 01:51:43.279 --> 01:51:43.840 No, no, no. 01:51:43.920 --> 01:51:53.119 I just said like I'm I'm telling myself it's fine that my crush texted me because it's fine, because it's normal, and I don't have to be like, oh my god, my crush texted me. 01:51:53.279 --> 01:51:53.680 Okay, yeah, yeah. 01:51:54.000 --> 01:51:55.840 I'm so I'm just I'm just self-soothing. 01:51:56.239 --> 01:51:57.359 You're self-soothing, okay, okay, okay. 01:51:57.600 --> 01:51:59.520 Yeah, I'm doing what the kids call self-soothing. 01:52:00.960 --> 01:52:04.800 I'm de-escalating myself at my own excitement out of text because relax. 01:52:05.119 --> 01:52:08.560 Because we're relaxed, it doesn't even mean anything to be texted, whatever. 01:52:08.720 --> 01:52:09.359 What's your song? 01:52:09.600 --> 01:52:11.199

Wait, is this the same guy? 01:52:11.840 --> 01:52:13.760 Charles, we're just talking about it off pod. 01:52:14.159 --> 01:52:15.039 Okay, okay, okay. 01:52:15.600 --> 01:52:17.439 Uh but this song. 01:52:17.840 --> 01:52:26.000 Tell me about your and on my podcast, Child Cross from Crush, we talk about childhood crush songs that remind us of absolutely loving and and and loving and learning. 01:52:26.399 --> 01:52:27.439 I don't know what this song is called. 01:52:27.840 --> 01:52:29.439 Okay, but this was the grinder. 01:52:29.680 --> 01:52:30.560 This was the grind song. 01:52:30.720 --> 01:52:31.920 Oh, which was the grind song? 01:52:32.159 --> 01:52:35.439 This is a song that we would all, when this song came on, we were like, oh, it's time to grind. 01:52:35.680 --> 01:52:36.239 Which one was it? 01:52:36.399 --> 01:52:39.600 The slow dance song was Casey and Jojo, All My Life. 01:52:40.159 --> 01:52:42.640 Um that one? 01:52:42.880 --> 01:52:47.920 That one, but the grind song was and I'm sure you could Google this in two seconds. 01:52:48.479 --> 01:52:51.039 Uh it's a song that goes, at night, at the night. 01:52:51.279 --> 01:52:51.840 Thank you. 01:52:52.640 --> 01:52:57.199 Oh, you mean Ghost Town DJ's uh fucking my boo? 01:52:58.159 --> 01:53:00.159 Ghost Town DJ's remix. 01:53:00.319 --> 01:53:00.880 That's what it is. 01:53:01.119 --> 01:53:01.600 I know that. 01:53:01.840 --> 01:53:02.880 Because I'm fucking good. 01:53:03.119 --> 01:53:06.159 Ghost Town DJ, it is uh my boo, right? 01:53:06.399 --> 01:53:06.800 I think so. 01:53:06.960 --> 01:53:08.000 No, because that's one of my faves. 01:53:08.640 --> 01:53:09.760 That's one of my absolute faves. 01:53:09.920 --> 01:53:11.279 Ghost Town DJ is my boo, yeah. 01:53:11.840 --> 01:53:12.239 When the game is. 01:53:12.640 --> 01:53:13.600 Game is on give me. 01:53:14.479 --> 01:53:15.840 Because the way it starts, too. 01:53:16.079 --> 01:53:17.840 Can you get your ass out of Charles' face? 01:53:18.000 --> 01:53:20.399 I'm just I'm just wanting you to have some respect, brother. 01:53:20.880 --> 01:53:24.399 Okay, and now it doesn't work, even though it's kind of the best one of the best songs. 01:53:24.800 --> 01:53:25.439 Yeah. 01:53:26.560 --> 01:53:27.039 Oh wow. 01:53:27.119 --> 01:53:28.560 I don't even remember this intro. 01:53:28.960 --> 01:53:29.920 It starts like this. 01:53:30.159 --> 01:53:31.279 Oh, yeah, here we go, here we go. 01:53:31.359 --> 01:53:36.800 Yes, and this is when it's like everyone's like, yeah, yeah, oh it's grinding time, it's grinding time, yeah. 01:53:37.039 --> 01:53:38.960 And all the teachers would be like, whoa nice. 01:53:41.199 --> 01:53:44.079 And all the girls are kind of like, they're like, Who am I gonna grind with? 01:53:48.079 --> 01:53:49.680 And now we're about to go crazy. 01:53:50.000 --> 01:53:55.600 I've been watching you. 01:53:56.000 --> 01:53:57.760 Did you fancy yourself a good grinder? 01:54:00.640 --> 01:54:01.439 I was a

good grinder. 01:54:01.840 --> 01:54:03.279 Oh, yeah, yeah, I could grind. 01:54:05.279 --> 01:54:06.000 I was a good grinder. 01:54:06.479 --> 01:54:07.039 I could grind. 01:54:07.359 --> 01:54:07.680 I fucked. 01:54:07.760 --> 01:54:08.399 I'm gonna grind. 01:54:09.520 --> 01:54:12.079 That was a thing that I was good at, was grinding. 01:54:13.520 --> 01:54:16.000 And that's why it sucks that it's not like a thing anymore. 01:54:16.720 --> 01:54:18.800 No, yeah, there's two yeah. 01:54:19.119 --> 01:54:23.119 It's like when I go to a wedding now, I want to grind on my girl, but she says no. 01:54:23.359 --> 01:54:26.239 Well, maybe your oh, your girl says no grinding. 01:54:26.319 --> 01:54:26.960 She says no grinding. 01:54:27.119 --> 01:54:28.319 You have to respect that. 01:54:28.399 --> 01:54:30.239 And that's the thing is now we have consent. 01:54:30.399 --> 01:54:32.319 There was grind culture, and now there's consent culture. 01:54:32.399 --> 01:54:34.239 And maybe one day we can bring them all together. 01:54:34.479 --> 01:54:38.800 Maybe we can have maybe, maybe um, and I put the pressure on you. 01:54:38.960 --> 01:54:43.680 I say maybe at your wedding wedding, it's it's a it's a pro-grinding uh wedding. 01:54:43.760 --> 01:54:48.479 It's like, don't come here if you're not ready to grind with your friend, with a stranger, with with a new lover. 01:54:48.960 --> 01:54:52.880 That a hundred percent my wedding will be a a pro-grinding wedding. 01:54:52.960 --> 01:54:55.920 Yes, and b uh actually will be mandatory. 01:54:56.319 --> 01:54:58.399 I um expect an invite. 01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:03.279 And also you're on the damn dance floor, but get away from me with that. 01:55:05.039 --> 01:55:07.039 He said it with too much confidence. 01:55:07.279 --> 01:55:09.520 He's gonna make things go crazy on the dance. 01:55:09.920 --> 01:55:15.680 There's gonna be six songs, and it's gonna be grinding uh mandatory, and everyone will have to grind for those two. 01:55:15.920 --> 01:55:18.319 And by the end of it, boys, that place's gonna sank. 01:55:20.880 --> 01:55:24.319 Charles, what would you like to plug today? 01:55:24.479 --> 01:55:25.439 Do you have a plug? 01:55:25.600 --> 01:55:27.119 Hey man, follow me on Instagram. 01:55:27.279 --> 01:55:29.600 Follow him on Instagram at CharlesGold1. 01:55:29.920 --> 01:55:31.119 You doing some shows? 01:55:31.439 --> 01:55:32.239 Nope. 01:55:33.520 --> 01:55:35.039 I got nothing coming up. 01:55:35.199 --> 01:55:37.840 Well, if he starts to have them, you'll know where to find them. 01:55:38.399 --> 01:55:39.840 Yeah, if you follow me, you'll find the shows. 01:55:40.000 --> 01:55:41.199 You're working, but he's working. 01:55:41.279 --> 01:55:42.159 You're working on stuff. 01:55:42.319 --> 01:55:45.439 You don't even know what we're gonna see lately and coming up on this damn pod. 01:55:45.600 --> 01:55:45.840 Yeah. 01:55:45.920 --> 01:55:47.039 Or the Instagram. 01:55:47.279 --> 01:55:47.920 Yeah, that's true. 01:55:48.000 --> 01:55:48.319 That's true. 01:55:48.399 --> 01:55:49.840 You're gonna see some stuff you were not expecting. 01:55:50.079 --> 01:55:51.600 You were not even expecting this from him. 01:55:51.760 --> 01:55:52.000 Yeah. 01:55:52.159 --> 01:55:56.560 Um, you can follow the podcast classroom Crush Pod on Instagram. 01:55:56.720 --> 01:55:57.359 I'm on YouTube. 01:55:57.680 --> 01:55:59.439 I don't know why it's hard. 01:55:59.760 --> 01:56:07.119 Um, but just, you know, guys, keep loving and I don't know, it bothers the police. 01:56:07.359 --> 01:56:07.680 Yeah. 01:56:08.479 --> 01:56:09.279 You know, yeah. 01:56:09.520 --> 01:56:10.159 Wait, what did you say? 01:56:10.239 --> 01:56:11.039 What was the last thing you said? 01:56:11.279 --> 01:56:12.000 Bothers the police. 01:56:12.239 --> 01:56:16.000 A boss every time I have to make sure that they know.