สำเนาบทสนทนา 🔗
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Welcome everyone to Bitches in Heat, a podcast where middle-aged hotties bitch about perimenopause, menopause, and the shit that surrounds it.
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Also, hotties, there will be swearing.
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So maybe wear headphones or go in a different room if you've got kiddos and sensitive ears.
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But do grab a glass of your favorite beverage besties.
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I'm Marni.
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I'm Dom.
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And today we are bitching about weight gain.
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And just to be clear, we are not medical professionals, and our advice should not be construed as such.
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So, if you have any medical questions, go see your OB/GYN or your menopause specialist and tell them we sent you.
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Mm-hmm.
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So, uh we we forgot to say who are we and what are we drinking today?
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Who are we and what are we drinking?
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Yeah.
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Well, I am Dom.
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I am here in the Northeast where it's humid as fuck.
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And I am drinking rose from the corner store down the street.
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And I am Marni.
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I'm in the DC area.
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I have already been through menopause and I'm on the post-menopause side.
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Um, so I am helping Dom get through her menopause journey with grace and lots of uh swearing.
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And I am drinking Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc, as I like to do.
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Delicious.
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Yes.
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Uh Marni is my perimenopause Yoda, and basically has been helping me for the last almost four years as I've been going through this journey and has been more help to me than any fucking doctor.
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I'm honored.
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Cheers to you.
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Cheers to you.
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Cheers.
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So, Marni.
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Yes.
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fucking weight gain.
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Oh my god.
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Can we just talk about this for a minute?
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Yeah, we're gonna talk about for this for like a half an hour, actually.
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Yeah, we're gonna talk about it.
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So, menopausal weight gain fucking sucks.
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Fucking sucks.
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And like it feels like your whole life you and in our patriarchal society, we have been taught that, like, oh, you're supposed to be like spelt and have a washboard stomach, and everything that you see in every um every magazine is about how you can lose weight, and it's a gigantic money suck to the entire population, and half of the world who is assigned female at birth is gonna go through this, and it is a completely natural transition, but we've been we've been fooled into thinking that we are not supposed to gain weight, and it doesn't feel good, it doesn't like we feel uh less than because everybody's like, oh you know, once you got to this point, you let yourself go.
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No, it's not that at all.
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And and let's start our bitch sesh here because um it is a completely natural transition for us to have a pooch in our lower belly because once we start losing estrogen, our body goes, Oh, um, the fat cells can make things that are like estrogen.
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Why don't we just move to the center and we can we can take care of that extra estrogen drop for you?
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And it is so frustrating for us.
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Um, I went through my menopause transition and went through menopause during the pandemic.
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And it was uh so 2019 was my very last period, and 2020 in April of 2020 was when I hit my menopause, uh, my menopause day.
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So menopause, as we've said before on this podcast, is one day.
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It is menopause is just one day.
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It is the year anniversary of the last of your last period.
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Um, and so I, because it was the pandemic, was sitting on my couch scrolling through nightmare fuel and ending up like not moving my body.
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Uh, my cortisol was through the roof, not just because of my menopause, but also because the world was ended, as far as we knew.
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You know, like we were all gonna be out, you know, taken out by this mysterious illness that was going around taking everybody out from the world.
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Like a million people in the United States alone, just you know.
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So I have a kiddo.
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My husband is a frontline worker, he works in grocery stores.
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So, like, he's not he's not healthcare, but he had to go to work every day during the during the pandemic.
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So between the worry about him, the worry about the kid, the worry about the world, the worry about myself, yeah, because like you know, my husband was going to work every day and then bringing home God knows what, you know, they they had shirts made that said everybody stay six feet apart and thank you for, you know, taking care of us.
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But people, workers, grocery store workers were dying.
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And and it was it was an incredibly stressful time.
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Um, so so at this same time,
Load full transcript
I was hitting my menopause day, and I was like, fuck.
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Um, I remember growing up thinking, you know, like I would eat crackers and drink water from a Diet Coke can when I was in high school because I was obsessed with my weight.
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I was a cheerleader.
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I was like, oh I'm an actor.
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So like I was obsessed with trying to hit this um this unattainable beauty standard that we are fed from the time we are this big now, right?
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Um so I was always told growing up that if you're five feet tall, you should be a hundred pounds, and for every inch over five feet, you should add five more pounds on after that.
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And so I'm I've I'm short, I'm five foot two.
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I know you the so for those of you only listening, Dom's face is hysterical right now.
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She's making this face like, what the fuck?
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I have no, I have no words.
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I have no, I have no words.
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Maybe I wasn't meant for an audio only media.
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Or maybe it's best that I'm an audio only medium.
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Oh my gosh, no, it's it's hysterical.
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It's like her eyes are just like, what are you saying?
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Um, so that was what was told to us in all the magazines, Cosmo and 17 and whatever.
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And I remember hearing this story about I'm I'm looking at this little cat rescue on the corner of my screen, which Dom can't see right now, but there's a Siamese cat looking at-- looking out like, "what.
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the fuck." I'll see if I can post that on our Instagram or something.
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Um, but I remember reading a story about a woman who was five foot two and 150 pounds, and I was like, oh my god, how did she get to be 150 pounds?
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And like thinking, oh my god, my God.
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Rebecca says, I'm hungrier for everything but especially carbs.
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Yep.
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Listening to her pizza for dinner because fuck it.
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Yes.
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If I money suck at mind fuck, fucking weight gain, Adrienne says, Yes, yes, fucking weight gain.
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So and for context, I am now the heaviest I've ever been.
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I'm five foot two and 170 pounds.
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But like when I look at myself, when I look at my face, I don't feel like I mean, like, if I look at pictures of myself, I'm like, holy cow.
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But uh, but it's just because I don't uh look like what I think I look like.
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And we've been brainwashed to
think that we're supposed to be this skinny little mini, and it's ridiculous.
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It's ridiculous, it's not supposed to be that way.
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Um, and uh the old thing of calories in, calories out, you know, like just eat less and exercise more.
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It does not work for a menopausal body.
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Yeah.
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Um, I just started this amazing thing, and I'll I'll have to put a link to it uh in the chat.
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It is um healthy eating and healthy exercise for menopausal bodies um that is because your body gets used to a certain amount of calories, and it's like, okay, so this is the new normal.
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So it's it's still gonna do what it's gonna do and try to exist at that lower calorie rate.
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And most people that I know are eating healthily and and menopausal bodies are still going, oh, let me add on some more pounds because you need this because you don't have any estrogen.
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But it fucking sucks.
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It fucking sucks from a mental standpoint, a mental standpoint, right?
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Um, so you can uh eat fewer carbs and still gain weight, you can eat more protein and still gain weight.
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You can it is not the same as studies that are done on healthy, young uh bodies who were born uh who were assigned male at birth, which is what most health studies are done on.
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Yep, it's not the same.
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Okay, go for it, Dom.
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Pitch pitch away.
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So for me, I have been an athlete for most of most of my life.
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Oh wow.
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So I, you know, was we'll just start with college.
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I was an ath-- athlete as a child and in high school as well, but I ran compet-- competitively in college.
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I was in a dance company uh in my 20s and early 30s, I competed in martial arts.
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Um and so I have always been considered myself strong and fit.
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Um and because of the activities, and I was also a rock climber for over a decade.
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Wow.
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And so, like, because of these activities, like I also fueled myself well and um just naturally my like I was just very in tune with my body.
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I knew my vessel.
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I knew my vessel for most of my adulthood.
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And I knew what it needed, I could tell what it needed.
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Um, I could tell when I needed protein, I could tell when I needed grains.
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And my recovery time, if I was injured, or if I was wasn't
so bad unless it was a really serious injury, or if I took some time off and got a little what I at the time considered out of shape, I usually bounced back relatively quickly up until I was about 38 or 39 years old.
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And then even with my physical activity not changing drastically, and my diet not changing drastically, I started to gain weight.
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I was a runner still, I was still rock climbing, I was still physically, I was lifting weights.
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Everybody talks about also lifting weights is really important for us, especially at this in this age group.
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I was lifting weights and doing cardio, I was doing all of it.
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And but my body started changing, and I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
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And it was slow and it was kind of insidious because at first it was just like, oh, it's taking me a little bit longer to recover from this hard workout, and then it was, huh.
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My pants aren't fitting the way they used to fit.
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And then within the last couple of years, a mutual friend of ours called it, calls it the thickening.
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Yes, and it's like the title of a horror book, and that's literally what it felt like over the last, I would say, two years.
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I feel like I went through the thickening.
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"The thickening."
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And I jumped I never really actually paid much attention to the scale for because for me was how my performing in my sport, but I started to pay attention and I jumped almost 30 pounds over the last two years.
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And I was like, what the fuck is happening?
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Now I will say too, because my sleep has been fucked, my energy level has been fucked, and because my recovery time with injuries has been taking longer, I haven't been able to be as active as I used to be even four or five years ago.
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Yeah.
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Because I keep hurting myself.
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Yeah... Oh m--
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The simplest exercise, you're not even an exercise.
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I threw my back out getting off the toilet at three in the morning from crying.
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Oh my god, I hurt my back last night from just like turning around.
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It was the worst.
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I turned to get off the toilet at three in the morning last spring, and I legit threw my back out and had to go to the chiropractor for a--
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Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
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Anyhow, so it's like it's like I go through, I'm going, I go through this thickening.
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I feel like I'm still going through this thickening.
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And, you know, and again, listen to the first episode.
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You'll hear my doctor horror story.
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But as I was telling the doctors, I keep I'm gaining weight, and I don't nothing in my lifestyle has changed, but I'm gaining weight.
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And they just test my thyroid.
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Oh my god.
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And it came back normal.
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Of course, because it has nothing to do with your thyroid.
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And then they're like, so like, they're like, so what are you eating?
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Like, how much activity are you doing?
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And I'm like, I can guarantee you, I'm probably more active than your average patient.
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Yeah.
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And I'm just like, it was just so, it was so frustrating.
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And honestly, what was more frustrating was the doctors not actually helping me more than the weight gain.
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But it is fucking expensive because then I start buying more clothes, new clothes, which also I mean dopamine hit, but at the same time, it's like, ugh, I know.
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But also like the weight gain has sucked, but what for me has sucked more is like not feeling very strong anymore physically.
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Do you know what I mean?
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I totally combination of not knowing my body, of looking in the mirror and being like, okay, this is the new normal.
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We're gonna get used to this.
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And buying new clothes and like that sort of like those jeans are never gonna fit again.
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Um, but I have I have an amazing um fitness and nutrition coach that I have seen on and off for the last 10 years, and she and I are around the same age, and I hadn't been hadn't worked with her for a couple of years, and I reached out actually about a month ago, and my my legit message was I don't know my body anymore.
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Yeah, and I don't like how it feels, and I don't like how it looks right now.
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I'm not looking to get skinny, and I'm not looking to look like I looked at 25, but I would like to start feeling stronger again, and I'd like to feel comfortable in my skin.
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Can you help me?
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Yeah, I think that's the thing that that I hate the most is the the discomfort because we can talk all day long about the internalized misogyny of having a larger body.
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Like that's just like that.
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We have been brainwashed.
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And actually, um uh Rebecca said earlier that Diet Culture did a number on Gen X and
Millennials.
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Yes, yep, and um Adrienne said, Oh yeah, Gen X was fucked.
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Can't leave the table until the plate is clean, but also be model thin.
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Oh, let me add to that too.
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I grew up, I'm half Asian and I'm half Italian.
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I'm half Filipino and half Italian, okay?
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So legit, like Dom, eat more, eat more.
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Dom, you gained a couple pounds, huh?
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My whole fucking life.
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Quick story senior year of high school, graduation, my Filipino grandmother.
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Oh, Dominic, you got the booby.
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How much have you been eating?
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Literally what she said at brunch at a restaurant with my high school boyfriend there.
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Oh dear god.
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I'm just gonna know in sweet 16 when the grandma goes and like feels up-- feels up Molly Ringwald.
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Oh, yes! 16 candles, right?
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16 candles, 16 candles, yeah.
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Yeah, I that was my 16 candles moment.
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Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
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So yeah, so mis misogyny, patriarchy, but also culture influences our perceptions of our bodies and what is considered attractive and healthy.
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Um but it also, you know, it also goes for like even if you know, even if you don't gain a ton of weight, but your body's still changing, you're carrying weight in different places on your body.
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Yes.
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Or you're getting injured more.
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Like, I feel like that's all it's all connected.
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And it fucking sucks.
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It fucking sucks.
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Yeah, it is all connected, and it is also a normal part of aging, unfortunately, for those of us who have been raised to think that we shouldn't look this way.
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Um, it's it, you know, your your fat cells go to your booty and your thighs in early life because that's uh your body getting ready to be fertile.
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And then, you know, once you don't have the estrogen anymore, it's like all the fat cells move migrate to the apple body, and it's not not great for your internal organs either.
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But it's also there the things that we've been raised to think are the answer for that don't work, and so it's a mind fuck, and it's also it it is making us feel like we're doing the wrong thing and we're not.
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Um, Adrienne says, so glad for newer role models like Alona Mar.
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Uh, Rebecca says also
we have been told that weight gain is always due to personal choices, willpower, morality, and that our weight gain is a personal failure when in fact a lot of it is hormones, genetics, and stress.
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Hundred percent.
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Yeah.
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So Patricia says, yeah to that pizza because you fucking deserve it, Rebecca.
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Oh, yeah.
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Um, or you're perpetually constipated, Patricia says.
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That's the one that threw me off.
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Yes.
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Like you have to get, you have to have so much more, you have to have so much more water intake because the your the lack of estrogen is sucking all the the liquid, all the moisture out of your body.
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And so, and that includes everywhere.
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It's your skin, it's your um your vaginal moisture, it's your um your eyes, your mouth, your uh your colon, like your your intestines, your colon, all of that is you don't have the moisture that you used to have because your estrogen is down.
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Um so you have to--
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That's also going to be another episode.
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whole, a whole 'nother-- dryness, dryness everywhere is a whole 'nother episode.
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But um, electrolytes and and a larger uptake in water um helps the uh and uh side note for buoy, which is the electrolytes that I like a lot because there's no extra um uh no extra sugars in it.
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There's no sugars in it.
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Um, so it's just the electrolytes.
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They have one called digestive help or something.
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It's uh look for Buoy.com and I'll-- I'll put a a link in the show notes.
00:20:48.079 --> 00:21:02.960
I think I have a an affiliate link or something, um, but it'll give you a discount on your first thing-- And if you have um, uh, like a ... [GUFFAWS] brain fog is real!
00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:03.279
Brain fog!
00:21:02.980 --> 00:21:14.240
That's gonna be a whole 'nother thing. Brain fog moment! Um, if you have a uh like a what's the thing where you have an illness and it's all the time and like, uh...
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:15.599
chronic illness?
00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:17.279
Thank you, chronic illness.
00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:26.079
They have uh 35% off discount for life if you have a chronic illness and and anxiety counts, ADHD counts.
00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:30.000
And it's been helping me so much.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:42.240
They have a brain health one that is I'll say it again during our our brain fog episode, but um, it's got neurotropics in it, and then the one digestive health one has fennel in it.
00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:45.920
So, Patricia, you might really, really help this might really, really help you.
00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:50.880
Um, it has fennel in it, which relaxes the uh your intestines.
00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:55.119
Again, we're not doctors, but it's been helping me when I feel bound up.
00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:56.799
This uh electrolytes from Buoy.
00:21:57.440 --> 00:21:59.759
Digestive health helps, yes.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:00.640
Yes, yes.
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:01.920
I will put it in the show notes.
00:22:01.920 --> 00:22:06.480
And Patricia, since I know you all said, I'll send you the link individually.
00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:11.920
But I-- I use that in every single beverage that I drink during the day.
00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:17.680
I either use the hydration drops or I use if I'm having a particularly bad day because I also have celiac disease.
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:27.920
And if I have like and I have other um intestinal upset from digestive issues, um if I'm having a particularly bad day, I use the rescue drops.
00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:34.480
And that's a higher concentration of electrolytes and it helps me absorb the water better.
00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:36.240
Um, but yeah, yeah.
00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:47.680
So there's all different uh electrolytes, but for your specifically for the moisture intake, for the the water intake, the electrolytes help a lot.
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:48.480
Yeah.
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:49.119
I mean, I use--
00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:50.160
Where did I *start* with that?
00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:50.960
Anyway, go ahead. [LAUGHS]
00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:58.319
So like I use-- I use um I use element for hydration for electrolytes.
00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:01.680
Um it tastes pretty salty, but I'm like I'm pretty addicted to it.
00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:05.599
However, I really love what you're talking about with buoy.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:08.720
Um so I'm gonna buoy.
00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:14.160
I want to check that out though, because that just sounds magnificent.
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.000
So I I feel like tasteless.
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:20.000
Um oh and Patricia, you have an autoimmune disease, so this will be great.
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:21.440
Oh my gosh, yeah.
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:31.039
Seriously, and also like all you know, again, bring it up with your doctors too, you know, if it's something that you're not sure you can have.
00:23:31.039 --> 00:23:33.039
Um hashtag not doctors.
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:35.680
We're not doctors, we're not doctors.
00:23:35.680 --> 00:23:41.839
I feel like we've already gone past the "help me, Auntie M" and let's go on to Hotties -in-chief recommendations.
00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:43.200
Yes.
00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:48.720
Um, so one of the things, I'll go back to help me and for just a second because I just learned this.
00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:58.319
Um, so uh the weight gain, there are like three different um segments that it comes from.
00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:04.319
And uh I'm gonna pull this up on my my photos because I did take a uh photo of it.
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:20.799
Um it is like uh there are, there it is, um, inflammation, cortisol and sleep and gut health are the three things that contribute to um menopause symptoms overall.
00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:23.039
Those are like three big buckets.
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:29.279
And so, like joint pain and hot flashes and vaginal dryness, uh, skin changes, night sweats, it all goes into inflammation.
00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:36.319
Cortisol or sleep is like fatigue, broken sleep, muscle soreness, restless leg syndrome, which I know you have, Dom.
00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:40.559
And then gut health, it brain fog actually comes from your gut health.
00:24:40.559 --> 00:24:48.160
Trouble focusing, bloating, uh, your bowel movements, lack of motivation, feeling like flat.
00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:50.880
It all comes from your gut health.
00:24:50.880 --> 00:25:01.359
Um, and again, shout out to my my nutritionist, uh, Christine Marie uh Rogers from Nourish, and I'll put her in the chat again or in the uh show notes again.
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:11.440
Um she has taught me all of this about like a lot of the things that go on in your brain come start in your gut.
00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:23.839
And if your gut health, if your gut flora is damaged or your gut health is damaged, then it can affect your brain, your mood, your um your brain fog, all of this, the sleep.
00:25:23.839 --> 00:25:28.160
Um, so yeah, inflammation, cortisol, and gut health.
00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:32.559
If you can address those, it can start to help your symptoms.
00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:38.000
No matter what the symptoms are, they generally fall into one of those buckets.
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:39.279
Amazing.
00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:46.480
And there's somebody who uh has a a good course about this, and I'll see if I can remember who it is.
00:25:46.480 --> 00:25:48.319
I'll put it that in the show notes too.
00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:53.119
But there's a course about teaching you about those three different buckets and how you can help.
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:54.640
Oh, very cool.
00:25:54.640 --> 00:25:58.079
And it speaks to the weight gain, so it's perfect for this particular episode.
00:25:58.240 --> 00:25:58.720
Oh, perfect.
00:25:58.720 --> 00:26:13.279
And so I would imagine too, with each of those three buckets, I'm sure there are medicinal ways, but also nutritional ways and lifestyle, lifestyle things that we can perhaps do to help ourselves in each of those buckets.
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:16.000
I'm just imagining or slash--
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:17.759
Not a doctor!
00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:20.160
Hashtag, hashtag not a doctor.
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:23.440
But yes, a hundred percent yes.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:29.359
Um, and as much as uh Adrienne says, Woohoo! I have all three categories covered.
00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:34.400
Same friend, same, oh my gosh, it's so true.
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:38.799
But um, but yeah, that's this is uh the Hotties in Chief recommendations.
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:42.319
I will figure out who does that um that course.
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:45.279
She is an educator, and the course is like $19.
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:53.519
It is it's so cheap because she's like, I would rather have people know about this than make a lot of money from it.
00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:54.720
I love that.
00:26:54.720 --> 00:26:56.640
No gatekeeping, no gatekeeping.
00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:58.559
And she's a menopausal woman herself.
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:01.119
She's helped like 3,000 menopausal women.
00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:08.720
Like, there are some people who are like, my mom was going through this, and so I did a lot of studying, and here's my 30, you know, my $300 course.
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:17.519
It's not that, it's like she is like, this is what helped me, this is what has helped my clients, and you know, I have to make a little bit of money.
00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:19.759
So here, like, you can have it for 19 bucks.
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:21.359
And it's really great.
00:27:21.359 --> 00:27:24.720
I'll put that in the show notes as well when I remember who she is.
00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:30.480
Um, but buoy for electrolytes and lots and lots of water.
00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:39.920
Um, and you're gonna hate me for this, but coffee and tea are diuretics, and they take even more moisture out of your system.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:44.559
So yeah, I uh I can't have coffee anymore.
00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:52.960
So I feel a little lucky about that because I'm sad, but I can have like coffee ice cream, but I can't have like coffee, coffee.
00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:56.319
It hurts my stomach, like it really, really makes me sick.
00:27:56.319 --> 00:27:59.599
Um, so recommendations for that.
00:27:59.599 --> 00:28:08.160
Um moving your body no matter what is helpful because your joints are starting to freeze up at this point, too.
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:12.640
So, like having a little dance party while you wait for the microwave.
00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:28.640
You know, like if you are scrolling through social media, have a couple of things that are heavy that you can do some um some curls or some overhead presses with, just moving your body helps at this stage of the game.
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:33.039
Because we'll get to frozen shoulder at the in another episode.
00:28:33.039 --> 00:28:42.720
We'll get to joint pain in another episode, but just movement at this stage of the game is going to help you.
00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:54.640
Um we we didn't even touch on GLP ones, which I know a lot of people are into GLP one agonists, um, like you know, Wagovi and whatever.
00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:57.200
Um uh I can't remember all of them.
00:28:57.200 --> 00:28:58.880
I feel like that could be its own episode.
00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:11.440
Yeah, that would be its own episode, but but since we're touching on weight gain, um, I know I have good friends who are in our age group who have who have done
really well with GLP1 Agnes.
00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:14.240
And that, you know, they come with their own issues.
00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:21.920
But if if all else is failing you and you are a candidate, that's a that's a possibility.
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:22.799
No shame.
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:23.440
No shame.
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:25.279
Do what you gotta do to feel better.
00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:31.519
But just know that this is a total, totally normal stage of your life.
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:36.640
And don't feel, don't starve yourself because that doesn't help.
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:42.240
Um, you know, eat more protein, obviously, because like everybody's like, eat more protein, eat more protein.
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:45.359
Yeah, but like, you know, find some fun recipes.
00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:50.160
Ooh, there's this wonderful woman who's like Princess Pinky something.
00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:51.440
Did we talk about her?
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:55.119
I think in maybe you and I talked about her and we didn't talk about her.
00:29:55.119 --> 00:29:56.960
Princess Pinky something.
00:29:56.960 --> 00:30:05.759
And she does um she does recipes that are knockoffs of restaurants.
00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:06.880
Oh, very cool.
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:14.559
So if you're like, hey, I want to eat more chicken or fish or steak or eggs or whatever, find some fun new recipes.
00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:18.640
So you don't feel like you're you're completely bland.
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:33.839
Um, my nutritionist uh has uh like a matrix that she does about like to make sure that you're eating, like you're not just eating all carbs because you're not feeling well that day.
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:42.559
You're you're including some protein, you're including some vegetables, um, and you're including some healthy fats, because that's huge.
00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:49.440
Um and around our age is when insulin uh resistance starts to happen too.
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:55.279
Uh so if you eat more carbs, your body might not know how to deal with that.
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:59.519
Um, again, hello, lack of estrogen.
00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:01.440
I wish I could be on HRT.
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:02.319
I cannot.
00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:04.880
So Pinky Girl link above.
00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:06.319
Yes, pinky girl link.
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:07.279
Thank you.
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:08.559
Thank you, Patricia.
00:31:08.559 --> 00:31:12.079
She put, did you put the pinky girl link in the in the chat?
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:12.960
Thank you for that.
00:31:13.759 --> 00:31:14.880
Princess Pinky Girl.
00:31:14.880 --> 00:31:16.319
Princess Pinky Girl.
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:17.759
Princess Pinky Girl, that's what it is.
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.160
Thank you.
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:21.200
So yeah, I would say to you, I mean, I'm in Peri.
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:29.279
So I'm in the like I'm presently continuing to gain weight and trying to figure out what the fuck's happening.
00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:41.359
But I will say, if you have the budget for it, where and it's it is something that you are actively dealing with, hiring a nutritionist.
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:49.519
And also if they're all like what I have, the person I have is a licensed nutritionist and a fitness coach and a licensed fitness coach.
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:51.920
And so together, it's amazing.
00:31:51.920 --> 00:31:58.400
Um, because she's able to to help me figure out sort of holistically everything.
00:31:58.400 --> 00:32:04.720
Um, but making sure that they also understand the phase of life that you're in right now.
00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:05.279
Yes.
00:32:05.279 --> 00:32:07.680
If somebody says, "well, just eat less," leave.
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:08.000
leave.
00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:13.200
No, if all they say is calories and-- calories in and calories out, fuck them.
00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:13.920
Bye-bye.
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:20.000
Um, also, it is true, like prioritizing protein also helps with recover muscle recovery.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.559
And as we are, we we are prone to injury more right now.
00:32:24.559 --> 00:32:27.680
So this is something I do know as an athlete.
00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:30.799
Like prioritizing protein is super important.
00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:35.519
And like if you're someone like me where I enjoy cooking, but I don't really always have the time to cook.
00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:38.880
And the idea of a new fancy recipe actually sometimes I get excited.
00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:45.920
I'll go buy all the things at the grocery store and then it all goes bad in the fridge because I'm like, I'm just gonna order some fucking pizza.
00:32:45.920 --> 00:32:49.359
Um, yes, nothing wrong with pizza, no shame in pizza.
00:32:49.359 --> 00:33:01.359
Also, there's no shame in like doing those like mail order meal things, or um, I will include this in the show notes, but I follow a couple of food blogs.
00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:07.039
Um, I'm pescatarian and my husband's vegetarian, so it's also very specific, like what we can cook in our house.
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:11.119
But like a couple of cooks is an amazing.
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:12.400
Is that what it's called?
00:33:12.400 --> 00:33:13.920
It's called a couple of cooks.
00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:15.279
A couple of cooks, okay.
00:33:15.279 --> 00:33:29.839
And um, it's a husband and wife, and the majority of their recipes um are either plant-based or pescatarian, but they have some with with other animal protein, but they're usually 30 minutes or less.
00:33:29.839 --> 00:33:43.279
And they're I love and they're balanced and they're and the ingredients are things that most of us typically already have in our pantry, with the exception of maybe like one or two things, like that you need to go buy fresh.
00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:48.640
Um, and so for me, it's like, how can I how can I have something that's tasty?
00:33:48.640 --> 00:34:03.920
Because again,
ADHD, I need the dopamine, yeah, but isn't going to have that roadblock in the kitchen for me where it's like, well, I was excited, but now that's too much fucking work and I'm having executive function issues right now.
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:12.000
Um and then also uh carbs, unless you're gluten-free, are not the enemy.
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:19.119
Our bodies actually we do need carbohydrates um for fuel, for energy.
00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:20.639
It's just the balance of them.
00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:30.320
And that's where working with a nutritionist is incredibly helpful because also something that's important to me is I am a foodie, so I still need to have joy when I eat.
00:34:30.320 --> 00:34:30.880
Yes.
00:34:30.880 --> 00:34:36.880
And so part of like what I love about the person I'm working with is I'm working with is she knows this.
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:42.000
Yeah, and she's like, fuck yeah, you're still going to enjoy eating the foods that you love.
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:42.639
Yeah.
00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:47.199
Um, I also feel like a big part of this is self-talk.
00:34:47.199 --> 00:34:50.480
Yeah, it's it's a big part of self-talk.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:58.079
It's for me, it's I'm not looking to look the way I did when I was 25 years old.
00:34:58.079 --> 00:35:02.239
Yeah, I'm not looking to fit into a certain size.
00:35:02.239 --> 00:35:14.000
Fuck misogyny, fuck the patriarchy, fuck any cultural mindsets that made made us think that they're being over a certain size is bad.
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:15.039
Exactly.
00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:16.000
Oh my god.
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:20.400
Our focus should be on how are we feeling in our skin?
00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:21.280
Yeah.
00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:24.000
And do we feel strong?
00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:26.559
Are we working in our agility?
00:35:26.559 --> 00:35:30.719
Can we sit on the floor and get up off the floor?
00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:31.599
Oh, that's huge.
00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:32.480
You know what I mean?
00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:36.000
Which has started to be a challenge for me because I have a bad knee.
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:53.760
Um, and so like focus on those things and also like, yeah, go ahead and get put something in your budget if you can to buy something to wear that gives you joy, a fun color outfit for for this body that you gets to be your vessel now.
00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:54.800
Yes.
00:35:54.800 --> 00:36:06.719
You like you will always look at pictures of you from the past, um, and and you'll say, Oh god, I wish I was that size.
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:10.400
And five years from now, you're gonna think that about right now.
00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:13.760
Um, do you know about eloquie?
00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:15.360
That sounds really familiar.
00:36:15.360 --> 00:36:18.239
Eloquie, it's e-l-o-q-u-i-i.
00:36:18.239 --> 00:36:23.519
Um, it is fashion for size 14 and up.
00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:24.639
Amazing.
00:36:24.639 --> 00:36:31.039
Everybody I know who lives in a larger body who dresses from eloquie, oh my god, they look amazing.
00:36:31.039 --> 00:36:32.159
Amazing.
00:36:32.159 --> 00:36:33.119
They look amazing.
00:36:33.119 --> 00:36:39.840
Perimenoplas, plus diabetes is a whole extra barrel of monkeys, and I'm sure that's true for many folks who have been managing a chronic illness.
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:41.840
Every maintenance system needs a refresh.
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:43.280
That's so true, Rebecca.
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:48.880
Yeah, that's a whole nother ball of wax that we can talk about uh, you know, on another episode.
00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:55.840
But yeah, it's it's you get to the insulin resistance phase, and then diabetes type two becomes an issue.
00:36:55.840 --> 00:37:16.480
It runs in my family, and I'm certainly like something that I am uh I'm inherently aware of, but but one of the things that I've found very exciting is to Google, not Google, um, go on TikTok or Instagram and search my height and my weight.
00:37:16.480 --> 00:37:31.920
So like I look for five foot two, 170 pounds, mid-size, and that like just look for those words, and all these people come up, and mostly, mostly in femme bodies.
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:37.519
Uh, all these people come up looking hot as shit, and they have my body.
00:37:37.519 --> 00:37:45.519
Yes, that's the way I need to be dressing, not like a magazine, because the magazine stuff is never gonna look like that on me.
00:37:45.519 --> 00:37:52.079
I want to look like that woman who has my body who looks hot and confident and fantastic.
00:37:52.079 --> 00:37:59.519
And and like just seeing other people in my body is has been amazing.
00:37:59.519 --> 00:38:00.880
Rebecca says this has been awesome.
00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:04.079
I'm gonna go eat my pizza, but I'm feeling motivated to drink more water with it.
00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:05.280
Thank you both for this.
00:38:05.280 --> 00:38:07.280
Rebecca, thank you so much for being here.
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:09.840
Rebecca, and we can talk about this for an hour.
00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:10.239
Go ahead.
00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:12.320
Coconut water as well.
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:14.320
Coconut water, that's awesome.
00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:19.760
If you if you like it, I I drink harmless harvest.
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:31.119
It's a little bit more pricey, but it doesn't have it's like a gentler coconut water taste, and it's also it's just cooling and delicious, delicious.
00:38:31.119 --> 00:38:39.679
And the the hydration you can get from coconut water, our bodies absorb uh quicker and are able to utilize it faster.
00:38:39.679 --> 00:38:40.800
That's awesome.
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:46.320
Yeah, unfortunately, I have a coconut insert sensitivity, which is bad.
00:38:46.320 --> 00:38:48.239
But you know, what are you gonna call what are you gonna do?
00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:49.360
Unless you're Marni.
00:38:49.360 --> 00:38:50.719
Unless you're me.
00:38:50.719 --> 00:38:59.599
Like, but you know, the the fact that Dom was saying about a nutritionist and and nourish, I'll give another shout out to Nourish.
00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:02.960
Again, we are not sponsored by Nourish, but maybe someday.
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:06.159
Um, uh, that is often covered by insurance.
00:39:06.159 --> 00:39:29.760
So just just look into your insurance and a nutritionist, um, whether it is through like the list of doctors that is in your thing or nourish or like what what Dom said, somebody that you find that is that is a specialist in this that can help you feel good about what you're eating so that you can be strong and healthy.
00:39:30.079 --> 00:39:33.760
Yes. Yes! And also, we're all fucking gorgeous.
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:35.519
We're all fucking gorgeous!
00:39:35.519 --> 00:39:36.480
We're fucking gorgeous.
00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:38.320
Alright, Look at look in the camera right now.
00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:40.159
You are gorgeous.
00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:41.599
You're gorgeous!
00:39:41.599 --> 00:39:42.480
y ou are beautiful.
00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:43.679
Wh ere's my finger?
00:39:43.679 --> 00:39:45.920
You're gorgeous! you're beautiful!
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:52.559
you are so beautiful, and a washboard stomach was never meant to be the norm for women in midlife.
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:55.679
Like, look at Renaissance paintings, they're fucking gorgeous.
00:39:55.920 --> 00:39:57.280
Yes! Look at Marilyn Monroe.
00:39:57.440 --> 00:39:59.920
Marilyn Monroe, man, she was a size 14!
00:39:59.920 --> 00:40:01.199
Sophia Loren!
00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:01.679
She was Beautiful.
00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:04.639
Sophia Lauren, yeah, Kim Kardashian.
00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:06.079
She's got a big booty.
00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:07.599
J-Lo, come on.
00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:11.360
Yes, dude! If I were to have a bum like that...!
00:40:11.360 --> 00:40:14.239
Patricia says, I've loved all of this and I adore you both.
00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:15.280
Thanks for such a great time.
00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:17.119
We should probably wrap it up.
00:40:17.679 --> 00:40:18.320
Wrap it up.
00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:19.199
Let's do it.
00:40:19.599 --> 00:40:22.239
Special thanks to our editor, John Detty,
00:40:22.239 --> 00:40:24.559
and to our hotties in the chat.
00:40:24.559 --> 00:40:26.239
Thank you all for joining us.
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:29.360
And until next time, talk to each other.
00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:32.400
Because nobody else is going to.
00:40:33.119 --> 00:40:38.239
Bitches and Heat Podcast is a co-production of Marni Penning Narration, LLC and Dom Salvation.
00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:43.119
Dom and Marni are not medical professionals, and their advice should not be considered as such.
00:40:43.119 --> 00:40:47.920
They're just a couple of middle-aged hotties bitching about perimenopause and everything that surrounds it.
00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:54.880
If you'd like to join us for a live recording, you can become a supporter of the podcast at Bitchesinheatpodcast.com.
00:40:54.880 --> 00:40:58.239
Make sure you add the word podcast or you won't reach us.
00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:00.960
The other is a very different website.
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:06.880
Also make sure to check out our hotties merch at shop.bitchesinheatpodcast.com.
00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:17.760
If you have a suggestion for a future podcast, write to us at bitchesinheatpodcast@ gmail.com or visit our website, bitchesinheatpodcast.com, to send us some fan mail.
00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:25.599
Please note that no part of this audio may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems.
00:41:25.599 --> 00:41:29.199
Copyright 2026, all rights reserved.