บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ #43 - The Trickster, the Unconscious, and Why Stress Makes Us Forget

it, I don't like forget, like literally forget. 00:04:28.399 --> 00:04:32.879 Now I will reschedule things, I will definitely dread things and cancel them. 00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:36.800 But I don't generally speak, I don't forget. 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:40.720 But this this like straight true for straight up forgetting. 00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:45.360 So when you looked at me and said we didn't record the podcast, my response was I just burst out laughing. 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:45.759 Oh yeah. 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:48.160 I was like, oh my god, we didn't do it. 00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:49.759 And then I was like, okay, that's hilarious. 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:50.639 Let's do it tomorrow. 00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:52.560 We'll do it tomorrow. 00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:53.439 And when was it? 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:54.639 I think again in the evening. 00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:55.600 It was Sunday night. 00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:57.920 We were laying in bed, probably watching PBS. 00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:01.360 And you're like, oh my god, we did it. 00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:06.879 And then I bust out laughing again. 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:08.240 Right? 00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:10.000 And listen, we'd love you. 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:10.879 We'd love you all. 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:11.839 Oh, we'd love to do the pod. 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:14.399 And we'd love to think we were gonna do it on Monday. 00:05:14.959 --> 00:05:16.240 Were we gonna do it on Monday? 00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:18.079 I think it was only twice that we really find it. 00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:19.360 I think it was only twice. 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:22.480 I like to think of it as three times because that makes it more like a fairy tale. 00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:25.680 Because in fairy tales, it's always this is our third time of trying. 00:05:25.839 --> 00:05:27.439 We we got it right the third time. 00:05:27.759 --> 00:05:28.720 We got it right the third time. 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:34.720 I cast a spell on you. 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:37.680 We're catching their disease. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:39.439 Because you're mine. 00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:41.839 Yeah. 00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:43.040 Very strange. 00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:44.480 I cast a spell. 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:53.120 You know, there have been uh uh I could count on on less than half of one hand times that I have just completely forgot about a thing. 00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:56.240 And and like Yeah. 00:05:56.480 --> 00:06:04.639 And it has always been, always been at a time that I would just had extraordinary stress. 00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:05.680 Yeah. 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:08.879 It's like it's like I just I reach maximum capacity. 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:12.399 My brain my brain is just not keeping up. 00:06:12.560 --> 00:06:24.160 The other weird thing for me, which I hadn't mentioned to you, is you know, like when I'm doing stuff around the house or whatever, like I like to listen to my like NBR shows or podcasts or whatever. 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:24.399 Yeah. 00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:28.079 I spent hours gardening the other day listening to nothing. 00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:28.480 Yeah. 00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:30.879 Listening, I don't even want the input. 00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:35.199 I got enough going on in here, and that is not normal for me. 00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:36.000 Right. 00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:49.839 Yeah, so so that all got me thinking about forgetting, denial, sleep, like that just as a psychological theme. 00:06:50.879 --> 00:06:59.600 Um and I started thinking about like all of the fairy tales that I know that have forgetting or particularly sleep in them. 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:00.399 Sure. 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:11.680 Because what I was thinking about was I was thinking, okay, well, forget like totally forgetting something is most likely the defense mechanism of repression. 00:07:13.279 --> 00:07:14.560 And or denial. 00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:20.160 Well, it's really repression because it's it's like totally we didn't know it. 00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:21.040 I mean, I wasn't. 00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:25.199 We didn't even like talk about it in the morning and like did it get any kind of strategy. 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:27.439 I mean, I think that that was probably the fatal move. 00:07:27.680 --> 00:07:31.920 And that was there was not one part of me that was secretly like waiting for you to bring down. 00:07:34.720 --> 00:07:38.879 Sometimes like the morning that we canceled, I laid in bed and I was like, oh god, I really don't want to do it. 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:40.240 Oh, I don't want to disappoint. 00:07:40.319 --> 00:07:41.680 I know she's gonna be disappointed. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:42.639 I don't really want to do it. 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:43.839 I've got to get honest with her. 00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:46.879 I gotta get honest with her about the fact that I don't want to do it. 00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:50.560 And then I'm like, babe, I just don't want to do this. 00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:52.639 And you were like, Oh thank god, I don't either. 00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:53.360 Oh yeah. 00:07:53.439 --> 00:07:56.720 No, I was like, oh no, I thought that that's where we were going anyways. 00:07:57.600 --> 00:07:59.120 So that was like the moment when we were. 00:07:59.279 --> 00:08:00.720 Because we woke, I woke up so tired. 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:02.720 So tired and so overwhelmed. 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:09.839 And then I was thinking, and then it's so anyway, I was thinking about okay, so like let's say my psyche just took that and put it away. 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:10.800 Yeah. 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:13.439 Because I no longer had bandwidth to deal with it. 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:15.839 Like everything else in my life going on last week. 00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:19.199 I could not the pod could not enter my mind, literally. 00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:22.480 And my psyche erected a guardian. 00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:26.959 So I was like, I think of these defense mechanisms

as they're really helpful at certain times. 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:30.720 Like not being able to remember could actually be great. 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:33.440 About like it's protective, right? 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:38.159 I mean, a lot of people come into therapy and they're like, they want to do work trauma work, which is great. 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:46.080 I support this, but I'm not I don't want to be unclear about that, but but they'll say, I have a feeling, but I don't really remember. 00:08:46.320 --> 00:08:49.039 And it's like um, yeah. 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:52.960 And like maybe that's because you can't. 00:08:53.360 --> 00:08:57.840 Literally can't like there's just a you're too full. 00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:17.600 Like you can't like your psyche will not, it's like this guardian of Rex, and it's like will not you though you shall not pass you know is it kind of like Gandalf and the thing with the sword, you know, and he's just gonna fight that shade. 00:09:17.759 --> 00:09:21.279 Yeah, that shadow, he's just gonna fight that, and he goes right down with it. 00:09:21.440 --> 00:09:21.519 Yeah. 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:27.360 But it you know that scene is so powerful because in terms of something coming up from the unconscious, coming up out of that. 00:09:27.519 --> 00:09:30.480 You know, you know what I'm talking about, that scene in uh Lord of the Rings? 00:09:30.559 --> 00:09:30.720 Yeah. 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:33.360 Where they're down in the mind, you know, they're in the underworld already. 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:34.240 Yeah, yeah. 00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:40.159 And here's the wizard, and the wizard is like, you're not gonna and then he goes down with it. 00:09:40.480 --> 00:09:40.639 Yeah. 00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:41.200 Right. 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:43.039 And he comes back, of course, transformed. 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:50.720 But he has this experience of being pulled down into the underworld or being put to sleep, forgetting. 00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:51.200 Yeah. 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:58.639 But I think of all of those um Disney movies that are like the person wakes up and there's somebody else, Freaky Friday. 00:09:59.840 --> 00:10:01.440 Is it Gulliver's Travels? 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:06.799 Or no, he's just like he's just like penned down by a bunch of of tiny people or something. 00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:09.759 Do you know the one I'm talking about? 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:19.039 That is that is that just is it, but he I think he wakes up and he goes on a journey and it's like it's all those movies were like it was a dream, you know. 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:22.000 All the sitcom episodes where some kind of weird thing is happening. 00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:23.200 Totally, yeah. 00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:26.080 And then, you know, Alice is actually Mrs. 00:10:26.159 --> 00:10:26.480 Brady. 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:29.919 You know, we talked about the Odyssey um a couple episodes back. 00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:32.399 I can't remember what number it is, but I'll put it in the show notes. 00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:33.039 Great. 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:38.399 And um a big part of that story is he's eating what the lotus flowers. 00:10:38.639 --> 00:10:39.679 The lotus eaters. 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:40.159 Yeah. 00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:40.879 Yes. 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:41.440 Yeah. 00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:42.000 Mm-hmm. 00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:42.480 Yes. 00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:52.559 And then, you know, I got really into that series, um, his dark materials based on the uh Phil Philip Pullman's um trilogy. 00:10:53.360 --> 00:11:02.480 And yeah, there's this whole part in the last third where the main character is um drugged um and put to sleep for a long time. 00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:04.639 Like her mother is trying to protect her. 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:06.000 Spoiler alert. 00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:13.840 Um this this female is trying to protect her and is keeping her asleep because there are people out there looking for her. 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:17.440 Um, but she has to go fulfill her destiny, basically. 00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:19.360 So that's she has to wake back up. 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:21.360 I mean, somebody has to wake her back up. 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:23.759 Kind of like Sleeping Beauty, that's that story. 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:24.080 Yeah. 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:25.120 I didn't mean to interrupt you. 00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:27.600 I think I think Sleeping Beauty is very similar, right? 00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:31.039 I mean, like um And Snow Wife goes to sleep, doesn't she? 00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:32.399 Snow White goes to sleep. 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:34.559 Yeah and then something, another part of her, right? 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:39.200 If you look at the fairy tale as if all the all the elements are parts of you, right? 00:11:39.360 --> 00:11:39.519 Yeah. 00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:43.840 Another part of you has to be mobilized out of the unconscious and come kind of wake you up. 00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:48.159 And it is often the masculine that says, Hey, listen, you gotta do this thing. 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:55.360 Oh, so uh you know I guess that's me right now, since I'm the one that's saying Oh my god, the podcast. 00:11:55.759 --> 00:11:56.080 Yeah. 00:11:58.080 --> 00:11:58.639 Yeah. 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:07.440 Well, and last night I just I mean, the way that I dealt with the fact that my mind kept forgetting was I just m put it in my calendar and set an alarm for it. 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:08.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:08.879 No, totally. 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:09.600 You're like, okay. 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:23.039 I was like, I'm not gonna allow, I'm not gonna allow my mind to get the better of me, but I could really see how myself, if like if we want to go young-in with it, yeah, like my unconscious had a different agenda than my ego. 00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:25.840 My ego wanted to push through to do the pod. 00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:26.080 Yeah.

00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:27.919 So, okay, you know what this reminds me of? 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:34.799 The time when um, again, with this construction thing, it's such a cool object lesson for people to understand the concept, I think. 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:35.279 Yeah. 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:42.559 Because it's like again with the construction thing, um, we had that day when they showed up and they were putting in a door and they came with the wrong door. 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:45.600 And and my recollection was it was you were very upset about it. 00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:47.919 Okay, listen, I did not want to record that day. 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:48.240 Right. 00:12:48.399 --> 00:12:50.320 Because I felt like there was too much going on. 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:55.039 And you were like, listen, let's just do it, let's power through, blah, blah, blah. 00:12:55.279 --> 00:12:56.559 I'm like, okay, okay. 00:12:56.720 --> 00:13:07.120 And then they bring this door and it's the wrong size, and I'm, you know, I I listen, I want to say I've come a long way because they just cut two more holes in our external walls to put in these windows. 00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:09.440 And symbolically, and I was okay with it. 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:17.840 But but the first time they cut through the external concrete block wall to do stuff with this thing, I was just I don't know. 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:19.360 It feels really vulnerable. 00:13:19.440 --> 00:13:24.240 And yeah, so then then they showed up, they showed up early with the wrong door size. 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:27.600 We're like, okay, let's they're gonna go to Home Depot, let's just record. 00:13:27.759 --> 00:13:32.080 We record, except we get to the end, and of course we did not record. 00:13:32.480 --> 00:13:33.840 I pressed the record button. 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:36.159 I think I pressed the button, but I just pressed it twice. 00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:37.360 By the way, are we recording right now? 00:13:37.519 --> 00:13:40.000 Yes, I can see the little red light and the time is going by. 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:42.000 Because that would be a classic. 00:13:42.559 --> 00:13:43.519 That would be a classic. 00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:44.320 No, I'm here. 00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:46.799 I'm in it to win it today, but I was not that day. 00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:51.279 So my unconscious, which is where I think you were going with this, just sort of took control. 00:13:51.440 --> 00:13:53.600 It was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:57.759 And really it was saying no to me, which I needed to be said no to that day. 00:13:57.919 --> 00:13:59.679 I think I couldn't say no. 00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:01.279 Yeah, and I was not hearing no. 00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:02.799 Oh, that you were not hearing no. 00:14:02.879 --> 00:14:03.200 That's true. 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:04.960 I was a hundred percent no. 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:08.240 I was a hundred percent gonna fight the fact that these guys were showing up. 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.559 I was gonna fight the fact that we're staying on schedule. 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:13.600 I was like, we're staying, I mean, just boom, boom, masculine, masculine, masculine. 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:13.759 Yeah. 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:17.039 Just like we're staying on track, we're doing this thing, yong, yong, yon, yong. 00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:23.519 Oh, and so then anxious that that that yin needed to come. 00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.399 Yin was like, oh, I know how to take care of this. 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:31.519 Well, I mean, I think in that moment we I would say I was not acting harmoniously. 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:33.279 I wasn't really in the flow in that moment. 00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:34.399 I was forcing. 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:37.840 I was just going back to the last episode with Becky on the flow. 00:14:38.639 --> 00:14:39.279 Totally. 00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:42.480 I mean, I can see where my ego just wanted its own way. 00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:42.960 Yeah. 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:46.960 And um, you know, and then it's like, okay, so then what shows up? 00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:47.679 Trickster. 00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:47.919 Yeah. 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:51.679 Trickster shows up and it's like, you want to record. 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:52.480 You're on a record? 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:54.080 Not so much. 00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:57.200 And this is often where trickster will show up. 00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:04.159 Like in that limnal space um that's like you you aren't this is just not gonna happen today. 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:04.639 Yeah. 00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:16.960 Like no matter how hard you try, and no matter how much your ego wants this thing, um, maybe there's something going on that's in better service to your soul or to yourself. 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.000 But um well, definitely sleeping in last Thursday wasn't better service to me. 00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:26.000 Uh yeah, that was a good thing. 00:15:26.159 --> 00:15:28.000 And then also to have a relaxing weekend. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:28.559 Totally. 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:32.720 I mean, even though this is fun and everything, it's work. 00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:39.039 When we when we need to record on the weekend, it's working on the weekend, which we don't typically do. 00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:46.480 I really try to keep to keep a decent set of boundaries around having off time, you know? 00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:52.879 Like and we really I mean, speaking for myself, I really need I needed two days of off time this weekend. 00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:54.000 A hundred percent. 00:15:54.240 --> 00:16:01.120 You know, there was a time in my career, probably 2008, nine, ten, where things were really busy, got really busy for me. 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:05.679 Um this was kind of like when mindfulness made a big splash. 00:16:06.080 --> 00:16:07.759 Oh yeah, I was teaching workshops then too. 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:15.919 And because I had

already been a meditator, it was a natural fit for me to be people were very hungry for the information and it wasn't as widely available as it is now. 00:16:16.080 --> 00:16:22.720 And so I was doing more teaching and um you know more speaking engagements, and I was just super busy. 00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:32.080 And uh I actually at one point I think Vieira said something, my daughter said something to me in the kitchen. 00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:34.399 She said something to the effect of I'm sick of Dr. 00:16:34.559 --> 00:16:34.960 Brady. 00:16:35.840 --> 00:16:36.720 It was something like that. 00:16:36.879 --> 00:16:41.679 It was something like a little only a little kid could say in a way that was like true, you know. 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:43.360 And I was like, God, I am too. 00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:51.679 And so I put this little note for myself at the bottom of my work day every day that said goodnight, Dr. 00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:52.240 Brady. 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:53.039 Oh wow. 00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:55.840 As a way to like leave that at the office. 00:16:56.159 --> 00:16:56.320 Wow. 00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:57.279 Like, do you know what I mean? 00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:02.159 So that I could really because it was right around that time that I started using my um iPhone a lot as well. 00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:02.879 Right. 00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:04.880 Oh you had your emails on your own. 00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:07.119 So I had my emails on my text messages. 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:10.160 And clients had a different kind of direct access to me. 00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:10.640 Yes. 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:12.559 That they didn't have in the same way before. 00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:13.279 Right. 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:16.160 Um, you know, like when I had a beeper or whatever. 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:16.559 True. 00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:17.759 I mean, you know what I mean? 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:25.519 There was a different layer of um I mean, I actually think for a short while, I had an office phone that had a machine on it. 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:26.880 Oh yeah, you know what I mean? 00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:29.440 And I would just go into the office and listen to that in the morning. 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:30.799 That and that was my work phone. 00:17:31.119 --> 00:17:33.039 Yes, you didn't get your messages to your door. 00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:36.960 I had a work phone even when I l when I was over there at Heritage Station, I had a work phone for a while. 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:38.160 And a fax machine. 00:17:38.319 --> 00:17:38.559 Yep. 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:39.839 Who has those anymore? 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:40.640 Yep. 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:50.079 So yeah, I think this thing about um, you know, like trying to structure that so that I have off time is so important, and it was really nice to have a simple weekend. 00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:52.319 And I needed it. 00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:53.599 I really needed it. 00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:56.000 And maybe

like Odysseus needed it too. 00:17:56.480 --> 00:18:04.559 So there are these times when my ego might be like, damn, I really wanted to, but then I forgot, and maybe forgetting was what I needed, but it's not what I wanted. 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:10.319 I mean and what is that part of myself that I I find it sort of. 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:18.000 Well, I'm thinking about too, at least the stories that I had just told about Odysseus and then um Lyra and Historic Materials. 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:21.680 It's like that that sort of waking up out of the sleep. 00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:28.079 Now it's slightly different because Odysseus is telling the story while he's sleeping, or you know, it's all happening conc concurrently. 00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:31.119 But also it's like they're charging up. 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:35.920 It it it's always right before like the big final battle. 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:37.359 Oh, interesting. 00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:38.000 You know? 00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:38.640 Yeah. 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.119 It's always right before the big final battle. 00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:46.880 Um, the other thing that I'm thinking, you know, I I think about this in terms of the word to remember. 00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:53.440 To remember, to bring together again, to remember. 00:18:54.559 --> 00:18:58.720 But I never really think about it with forgetting. 00:19:00.480 --> 00:19:00.799 Oh. 00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:02.079 All right. 00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:03.359 Unpack that a little bit. 00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:04.079 I don't know. 00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:08.720 I mean, I it's just sort of occurring to me that forgetting, you could it's like it's forgetting. 00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:12.319 You when you forget, it's for getting something later. 00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:17.680 It's for getting the thing you can't get. 00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:18.640 You see what I'm saying? 00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:21.680 Like, especially if we're like saving up for the the the final battle. 00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:23.519 Doesn't the word for mean ahead? 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:27.039 Isn't that isn't a Yeah, something that you're gonna get later. 00:19:27.279 --> 00:19:28.559 Yeah, it's like a head, right? 00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:32.079 Your forehead isn't is it the front of your head? 00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:38.880 Or for word, like going for but also uh four for is a I I think of like four grounds. 00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:40.480 But I think it's more of a proposition. 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:44.799 Preposition for me, for you. 00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:46.960 F-O-R, not F-O-R-E. 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.920 I think it's a preposition. 00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:51.599 For it's for getting. 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:53.440 It's for getting later. 00:19:54.960 --> 00:19:56.079 Do you see what I'm saying? 00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:58.240 Yeah, I would have to look that up. 00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:02.559 I do see what you're saying in terms of the hominym, and it's really interesting to think about it in that way. 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:03.440 Just to kind of do that. 00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:11.200 In the same way that to remember means to bring together again, to forget is to is forgetting. 00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:13.920 I see what you're saying. 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:25.519 It's like you can't get what it is that you want now, but if you forget now, if you forget now, then you will get later. 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:28.400 Oh, that kind of makes my head hurt. 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:31.119 But it's really interesting to think about. 00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:36.160 I literally just got a little stabbing pain, right? 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:40.480 Trying to wrap my mind around. 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:48.880 Uh disclaimer on this podcast may cause stabbing pain in your right, Temple. 00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:53.119 Well, it's like on those days there were certain things though that I didn't forget. 00:20:53.200 --> 00:20:55.039 Like I didn't forget to eat. 00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:55.839 Right. 00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:57.839 I didn't forget to brush my teeth. 00:20:58.000 --> 00:20:58.240 Yeah. 00:20:58.400 --> 00:20:59.680 I didn't forget to take a shower. 00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:00.400 Yeah. 00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:04.720 I'll tell you what, I almost forgot this weekend to pay our freaking taxes. 00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:06.160 Oh, yeah, the taxes. 00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:07.920 Well, that's one I would like to forget. 00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:11.440 That that's I'm telling you right now, I'd like to forget to pay my taxes. 00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:15.279 So it for me, it's like there's like a tier. 00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:19.519 There's the whole Maslow's hierarchy, there's Nissa's hierarchy of needs. 00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:22.799 There's Nissa's hierarchy of duties. 00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:27.920 There's Nissa's hierarchy of, you know, daily essential activities. 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:31.039 And like I'm not forgetting any day to drink coffee. 00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:32.319 Nope. 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:35.519 You know, I'm not, but I don't always make my lists. 00:21:35.599 --> 00:21:41.119 See, this is something we talked about, I think, in one of the first episodes is that when I'm really stressed out, I stop making lists. 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:43.759 And when I'm really stressed out, I start making lists. 00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:44.079 Yeah. 00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:47.519 I always know I'm deep in my shadow when I'm st when I'm making a list. 00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:52.160 I'm in my own dark materials when I'm making a list. 00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:56.079 Because I have to look so deep into myself to find that and bring it out. 00:21:56.160 --> 00:21:58.880 It's unconscious, it's not my preference to do that. 00:21:59.039 --> 00:21:59.359 Yeah. 00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:05.279 Um and which it doesn't mean it doesn't exist in me, but it's like I have to throw it I have to throw a bucket down into the well. 00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:05.599 Yeah.

00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:07.920 Is the way that I think about working with my unconscious. 00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:20.160 And I I mean like s some of these are symbols that I've just kind of picked up that I use with myself and that um you know from sort of living in a way that is coherent with an understanding of the fact that my ego is not in charge. 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:41.279 I mean I and you know as as as much as people as as much as many people in psychology today would sort of poo-poo psychoanalytic thinking or Jungian thinking for it being not scientific or it being you know kind of this you know you could get laughed out of the room in certain places where there are you know psychologists who are neurologically based. 00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:45.119 They think everything comes from the brain they're convinced that that's their story. 00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:46.240 They're sticking to it. 00:22:46.799 --> 00:23:06.640 Um I have never found as much life or love in that story or frankly as much a practical applicability as in the story that there's something going on inside of me that is actually for my own good that contains things that will also sometimes hamstring me if I'm not paying attention. 00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:12.160 Like as much as it's there for my own good there are things inside of it that could really take me out. 00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:27.039 But but those are ultimately for your own good is that what you're saying living harmoniously as a human and so forgetting something like we did could could could be a way to pay attention to that. 00:23:27.279 --> 00:23:52.319 Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that this maybe is for our our best interest yeah like oh I forgot like and it's not me like there's something like there I have this inner ally that you have an inner ally I love that you have an inner ally like if if I think about myself with a capital S as this this inner ally who's really there for me. 00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:55.599 Yeah you know and some people might call that God. 00:23:55.839 --> 00:24:03.920 Sure and I think that my inner ally or self is attached is divine in some way. 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.680 I mean I I can't it's it's it's very mysterious and it's it's ineffable. 00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:09.039 It's difficult to talk about these things. 00:24:09.119 --> 00:24:22.240 It's like the moment you the for me the moment they become overly conceptualized something gets lost right yeah which is why I like Zen so much because there is just this emphasis on the experience. 00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:31.759 Yeah you know the the direct experience as opposed to you know some sort of lofty um idea about the experience. 00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:44.559 So for me like two of the most beautiful moments that happened over our weekend between us were when you said oh my god we forgot the podcast and we laughed. 00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:47.200 Oh yeah nobody was upset. 00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:50.079 Oh that laughter was so good. 00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:55.519 Oh yeah totally it was kind of like when we thought that the linear we had fought for this specific type of drain. 00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:59.680 Oh god and fought and fought and fought for this specific type of drain. 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:09.920 This took weeks and they they replaced the whole shower floor they have to come in jackhammer it out again put the kind of drain I want in it and then I turn the shower on and I'm like the fucking thing doesn't drain. 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:14.160 No it was like one minute shower and she's standing in a puddle. 00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:16.240 Standing in a puddle it's literally not going down. 00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:21.039 So we call the plumber out and he comes out and it literally just had like a cover over it. 00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:23.279 Had like a plastic cover had a plastic sheet over it. 00:25:23.359 --> 00:25:29.039 He pulls it off and he leaves it on the and he just points at it and he's like this is why it wasn't draining and he and I both laugh. 00:25:29.359 --> 00:25:30.720 Oh my god they laugh so hard. 00:25:31.039 --> 00:25:57.039 So hard so hard um I mean it could have been that's how we started last week the maniacal laughter of insanity is what it could have been but that moment the reason I laughed was because it was so numinous it was like right my like I was thinking that we thought we were like oh my god they're gonna have to redo the thing they're gonna have to pull it up again but also realizing that we forgot something so important to me felt like a very spiritual moment. 00:25:57.200 --> 00:26:09.200 It was like oh like I'm not in charge and thank God yeah totally I I want to share something with you that I didn't share with you last week. 00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:21.599 I should not be in charge no no no yeah me neither I um I had this morning and I don't know what day it was but both of these things happen in the same day. 00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:37.119 In the morning I unfortunately had fired up Instagram I try not to do that in the morning but it happens especially you say I fired it up like well I mean I don't know how everybody else says but it's like if I look at it in the morning I'm looking at it the rest of the day. 00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:40.720 It's like if I eat sugar early in the day I'm not eat sugar the rest of the day. 00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:41.759 That's interesting. 00:26:42.000 --> 00:27:08.880 Um and so especially in the morning when I'm like trying to do things it's like you know create before you consume I really believe in that mantra um but whatever I was sitting there and I forgot I find this video about um it was an interview with uh Liz Gilbert um who I really enjoy and she was talking about how anyways it didn't even matter what she was talking about but she said this term that I had forgotten about. 00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:15.200 She's like you know I I I suffer from um pronoia it's the opposite of paranoia. 00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:20.079

Yeah and it's the belief that the world is actually conspiring for you. 00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:20.480 Right. 00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:28.000 Yeah and it just reminded me of that perspective which I kind of feel like is similar to what you were just saying right that the unconscious is doing it for you. 00:27:28.160 --> 00:28:16.000 And so I was just like oh yeah and this is right when we're in the midst of all this stuff this battle this epic battle going on um and I'm like alright alright I'll see it as that and then that same freaking day I am driving home from the office now I have a five minute drive y'all I'm driving down Hannah and the car in front of me has a license plate that says pronoya no way all the letters not even abbreviated spelled out pronoya and I'm like okay okay I get it I get it so that is a very strong synchronicity I mean that's the kind of stuff that like you can't make it up you can't make it up and I've been meaning to remember to tell you that. 00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:36.640 That's amazing what a great great experience pronoya yeah you pronoia the inner ally I mean you know and one of the things that I know too from my Jungian studies is that um when the ego becomes stressed it is more open to experiences of synchronicity. 00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:37.680 Yes. 00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:46.000 And so people who are I mean I have ex I have lots of synchronistic experiences and I think some of that is because I've gone through some really difficult things. 00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:52.160 Yeah you know it's like the universe does really throw me bones when I'm going through a hard time. 00:28:52.319 --> 00:29:01.759 Yeah and I have uh intentionally trained myself to look for them because it really helps me. 00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:19.519 Yeah no totally you know in these moments when it's just like what in the ever loving fuck is going on in this world You know I mean like just the news cycle in and of itself this week is I don't even want to put words to it some of the stuff that's going on. 00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:28.160 I know but um and I think that's kind of been taking a bit of a that's been draining some of my own psychic energy too the wars that we're in. 00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:48.880 You know the war in Iran, what's going on in Ukraine, what's going on in this country with this increase in violent with the increase in violence that's like not behind the curtain anymore in a way um and i anywho I think it's been affecting me. 00:29:49.119 --> 00:29:58.000 Yeah you know and um so yeah it's like these do you know what I mean by the universe throwing me a bone it's total did you feel like that with the license plate? 00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:07.519 Absolutely absolutely I was like because it's like it's not it wasn't a bumper sticker that was like ooh believe in good things around you or anything. 00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:09.839 It's like literally the same word. 00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:35.759 That was a pretty significant word the first time I saw it and you know wow yeah that's just a really great place to wrap up the episode on the what what what can you do to fan the fire of the belief that the universe is conspiring for you and not against you that forgetting that forgetting can be to your benefit. 00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:42.400 Yeah I mean so I guess my questions would be you know like to the listener like uh what have you forgotten? 00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:43.440 What are you forgetting? 00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:48.160 I mean I'm sure that you're thinking about all those things right now anyway just listening to us. 00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:54.400 So I'd be curious reframe on forgetting because for me like forgetting on its own is just like kind of shampoo. 00:30:54.640 --> 00:30:55.839 You know oh I forgot. 00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.440 Well I mean But it's like oh actually it could be a forgetting can be a gift. 00:30:59.759 --> 00:31:01.920 Well it's definitely for me a sign of resistance. 00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:08.640 Uh-huh and to just acknowledge that that it that that you know there was a part of me that was trying to push through this weekend. 00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:27.759 Yeah and and and there was another part of me that was resisting that was like no sleep poppies poppy of us sleep and you know it's right before they go they get to the Emerald City. 00:31:27.920 --> 00:33:19.279 Exactly it's always right before the last push uh right before the last push I mean does that happen in childbirth where mom will like sleep towards the end I didn't never have that experience no or I think isn't I think that there I'd have to look it up but I feel like there is a term where it kind of like slows down a little bit right yeah I think like right before you really start pushing I think what I recall was after transition there was transition there was that's the term when there was there was definitely a moment between second and third stage yeah where it was like oh okay now the baby's gonna come also there's a descent involved with that right because the baby's ascending down yeah totally so it all kind of follows the same metaphor a little bit well that's that fractal nature of the universe these patterns that keep repeating and this is why I love syncretic thinking you know like synthesizing things and um yeah really cool really cool so we'll continue on with our yeah so unless something else happens the next episode will be all about the pelvis that's the plan that'll that'll be a nice little birth metaphor to continue this on with yes and um we're you know this is not like our intentionality series where we you know really just plugged away at at that but it is a a uh semi-series on the body that we're just sort of exploring and going through and um to be continued TBD I mean T B C right yep um well thank you all for listening if you have enjoyed this please leave us a rating follow us subscribe send it to your friends um maybe put it in a greeting card with a QR code for Christmas and um you know come back next week where we will see you once again on Being Different together