บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ Imposter Syndrome

will go on to win a Pulitzer Prize. 00:02:58.879 --> 00:02:59.520 That's true. 00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:02.560 And I tell him what I've seen, and I pitch it as a story. 00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:04.240 And he goes, Dean McGowan. 00:03:04.879 --> 00:03:05.919 That guy's a dick. 00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:07.199 Write it up. 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:13.439 So I run to a desk and I find a typewriter. 00:03:13.599 --> 00:03:15.680 A typewriter, a typewriter. 00:03:16.719 --> 00:03:20.159 And I start banging out my story, and I know it's good. 00:03:20.719 --> 00:03:24.080 And then I start to make it better. 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:29.199 By adding an element of embellishment. 00:03:29.439 --> 00:03:31.520 Now, journalists have a phrase for this. 00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:33.840 They call it making shit up. 00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:38.639 And they recommend against it, and that is correct. 00:03:38.879 --> 00:03:45.759 But I had just witnessed the unholy alliance of a dean's face and a cream-based pastry. 00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:47.840 So I had sort of lost my mind. 00:03:48.080 --> 00:03:52.000 So the first thing I do is I give the figure a name. 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:53.599 I call him Pie Man. 00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:55.680 Capital P, capital M. 00:03:56.479 --> 00:04:00.960 And I described him as a masked wearing caped avenger. 00:04:01.759 --> 00:04:04.400 Although, in fact, he had been capeless. 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:11.599 And I say that as he exited the scene, he clicked his heels in rakish glee. 00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:18.000 And I gave him a catchphrase in Latin. 00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:27.759 Because if you go to a Catholic university and you have something important to say, you use a dead language. 00:04:29.120 --> 00:04:40.240 I said that as he exited the scene, he cried, Ego sum non and bestia, which means I am not an animal, which makes no sense. 00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:43.600 I'd seen it in a movie. 00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:50.639 And so I finished my story and I bring it to Dwyer and he looks at it and he goes, Pie man. 00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:52.160 I love it. 00:04:52.399 --> 00:04:53.199 Page one. 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:57.759 And that's how it started. 00:04:58.879 --> 00:05:05.920 A few days later, I get a letter that says, Dear Jim, nice story, good detail. 00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:12.480 If you want to see me in action again, be on the steps of Dwayne Library Tuesday at 3 o'clock. 00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:24.079 Signed Pie Man! And oh, I was there with a photographer from the Ram. 00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:30.639 And right around 3 o'clock, out from the library, comes a student body of president, Sheila Beale. 00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:38.560 Sheila was different than the rest of us, a flannel shirt wearing, part-time job working students. 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:41.360 Sheila was well bred. 00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:45.199 Sheila had a school spirit. 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:50.639 Sheila was the type of student that Dean McGowan wanted more of. 00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:59.519 And they had worked together to ban all outdoor drinking on campus, the infamous no more beer at the barbecue rule. 00:05:59.839 --> 00:06:05.600 Because Sheila thought that drinking in public was a poor taste. 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:09.519 And I think you know what happens next. 00:06:21.439 --> 00:06:26.480 And as he flees, he cries, Ego sum, non an tissue. 00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:42.879 As I reported in my story in the Ram, next to a large photo of him running away with a cape flowing behind him, as he did this. 00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:52.240 And that made him a sensation at Fordham. 00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:56.160 People dressed up like him at Halloween. 00:06:57.360 --> 00:06:59.199 They quoted him in class. 00:06:59.439 --> 00:07:04.319 The Ram ran five major stories about Pie Man, all of them by me. 00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:11.839 And at the end of the semester, I went to a bar off campus. 00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:19.120 And as I walked in, I noticed in the corner Angela from my Brit Litt class. 00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:25.360 And now Andrea and I, Angela and I had been flirting for months. 00:07:26.079 --> 00:07:28.480 Or I had been flirting with her. 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:35.680 And with such nuance that there was a question about whether she knew I existed. 00:07:37.680 --> 00:07:41.600 So I saw her there, and I made a note to do nothing about it. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:49.439 And I went to the bar, and then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and it was Angela. 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:59.839 And she said, Jim, we were just talking about Pie Man and about how you always seem to know when he will strike. 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:04.079 And we were wondering, are you Pi Man? 00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:13.439 And I knew by the way she asked that question, I knew that if I said yes, she would have sex with me. 00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:24.319 And wasn't I really Pi Man for having brought him into existence? 00:08:24.480 --> 00:08:27.040 Didn't she only know about him because of me? 00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:32.960 But in fact, she had asked a straightforward question and came with a straightforward answer. 00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:34.240 I was not Pi Man. 00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:39.440 As far as I knew, I had never been in his presence out when he wasn't in costume. 00:08:40.320 --> 00:08:47.840 So I said, Yes, and I am Pi Man. 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:51.759 And she said, Oh good. 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:56.799 Now buy me a beer and tell me all about it. 00:08:57.679 --> 00:08:58.399 Thanks. 00:09:04.799 --> 00:09:18.799 If you're a fan of episodic podcasts, you have got to listen to Jim's outstanding podcast, Blind Spot The Road to 9-11, about the many events, players, and missed opportunities leading up to 9-11. 00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:20.799 It is riveting. 00:09:21.039 --> 00:09:25.200 And up next we have another really funny dude, Tim Lopez. 00:09:25.519 --> 00:09:31.200 Tim's a park ranger educator, Jeopardy winner, and multiple moth story slam winner.

00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:42.080 I saw Tim perform the story you're about to hear at a Moth Grand Slam competition in Brooklyn, and he had the whole audience in stitches, so I just had to invite him up to tell this story at the Artichoke. 00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:51.600 So here's Tim at our main stage at the Howland Cultural Center in Beacon, New York in July of 2021 with his story, A Little Bit of Flair. 00:09:58.559 --> 00:09:59.200 Wow. 00:09:59.919 --> 00:10:09.600 Alright, so it was around the turn of the century, and I found myself in the middle of a full-blown quarter life crisis. 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:23.919 I had dropped out of school, really as a way to get out ahead of getting officially kicked out, moved back home with my parents, and was working more or less full-time as a bartender at a TGI Fridays in the San Fernando Valley. 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:30.960 Now, in its heyday, uh TGI Fridays was something of a trailblazer in the bar and hospitality industry. 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:40.879 In fact, they're responsible for many groundbreaking innovations, uh, such as Happy Hour and Lady's Night and The Potato Skin's Appetizer. 00:10:41.120 --> 00:11:10.960 Um, and they're also uh kind of a pioneer in what is known as flare bartending, uh, which is an aggressively flamboyant style of bartending, um, immortalized in the 1987 film Cocktail, uh, in which Tom Cruise uh plays a young, hotshot bartender who uh develops and uses uh his bottle-flipping shenanigans um at the TGI Friday's flagship store on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:22.960 Um now, after this, I guess you could call it a peak, um, the popularity and awareness of flare bartending in the Zeitgeist uh went into a precipitous decline. 00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:56.399 Um as did the overall cachet of uh TGI Fridays as a hip dining establishment, um reaching perhaps its nadir uh in the 1999 film Office Space, uh, in which a very thinly veiled TGI Friday's knockoff um is so thoroughly and mercilessly satirized and mocked that uh by the time I got there, even the word flare had been thoroughly scrubbed from all of the corporate identity of Fridays. 00:11:56.639 --> 00:12:04.879 Um and that of course included flare bartending, which was kind of pushed into the shadows and uh went underground and was really on the verge of becoming a lost art. 00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:14.159 But there were always persistent rumors that there were pockets of flare bartenders that were practicing it in secret. 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:16.799 Uh, you know, in case it ever came back. 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:29.519 Those rumors were validated in 2005 when Corporate announced to very mild fanfare the 2005 TGI Friday's Regional Bar Flare Championships. 00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:44.399 An event, grand spectacle, in which one person from each of the stores in the Southern California region would be invited to compete against each other in an all-day extravaganza of bartending tomfoolery. 00:12:45.039 -->

00:12:47.440 I signed up for this immediately. 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:59.600 Um, partly because, you know, I didn't have I literally had nothing else going on in my life at the time, but also because it seemed like a fun and mostly harmless way to express myself in a semi-theatrical manner. 00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:02.960 Um and so I was given three months to prepare for this. 00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:09.039 And true to form, I didn't do any kind of meaningful preparation until a couple of weeks before the event. 00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:18.559 And um my training regimen uh consisted almost entirely of getting drunk andor high and watching, you know, key scenes from cocktail at half speed. 00:13:21.120 --> 00:13:24.159 That notwithstanding, I picked up a couple of tricks. 00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:29.919 I could do uh a tin flip in which you flip the uh cocktail shaker off of the bar and catch it behind your head. 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:36.480 Um I could flip a bottle a bottle uh to a pour, as we say in flare bartending parlance. 00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:44.879 Um and I could do another trick where I would uh throw the shaker behind me like this and catch it behind my back um sometimes. 00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:53.919 Uh and so despite this impressive repertoire, uh when the tournament came around, I was feeling a little bit underprepared. 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:58.000 Um but then I told myself, you know what, like who's even gonna be here, you know? 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:08.159 And I I was expecting a smattering of you know flare bartending nerds and you know the usual assortment of suburban bar flies that you tend to see at a TGI Fridays at 3 p.m. 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:09.440 on a Monday. 00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:15.200 Uh but I get there, and apparently they'd done quite a bit of publicity for this event because the place was packed. 00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:22.480 All right, the restaurant was full, it was five deep at the bar, they were doing two-for-one drink specials, and all you could eat, Jack Daniel's appetizers all night. 00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:23.679 The place was nuts. 00:14:23.919 --> 00:14:42.639 And, you know, some co-workers and frenemies of mine had showed up uh without telling me they were gonna do so, and there was a camera crew there, and they were videotaping the event um for broadcast on closed circuit television to the entire restaurant and also to every participating store uh in TJ Freddy's store in in North America. 00:14:42.879 --> 00:14:58.000 Uh so there was a quite a sizable audience for this, and um at that point I began to worry, and that worry uh kind of escalated into outright panic when I, you know, we got started in the con in the event and uh I got my first look at the competition. 00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:05.840 These were some seriously badass individuals who took flare bartending extremely seriously, all right? 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:14.960 And they were all coming out and they had these really elaborately choreographed routines that were set to music and you know, a dazzling array of tricks, right? 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:24.960 They were flipping multiple bottles at the same time, and they were doing this trick where you would throw the bottle up and then catch it on their foreheads, um, and they were setting things on fire and stuff like that. 00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:44.879 And um, this one uh y young woman, she she came out and she was amazing, and her routine was set to that Rihanna song that was like all the rage at the time and replay, I believe it was called, and she just came out and just murdered, and she had a routine where she culminated with she threw three maraschino cherries up in the air and then caught them on a spear that she had wedged between her teeth. 00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:55.919 It was very obvious very early that I was not gonna be competitive in this event. 00:15:56.720 --> 00:16:00.960 And what was worse is that we drew order randomly, and I drew last. 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:05.440 So I was the closer for this thing. 00:16:06.559 --> 00:16:15.039 And I had to watch as these people just got up there and just absolutely shredded the bar while I stood off to the side and withdrew into a personal shame spiral. 00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:21.759 Second to last competitor, guy before me. 00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:27.120 He gets up there and he looks like the human embodiment of flair bartending. 00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:28.559 He is buff. 00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:35.600 Um he is like tattooed, he's like sleeved up on like both arms, and he has a man bun, and he's extremely attractive. 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:38.480 Just a beautiful person. 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:43.600 And um, and like his name's Esteban, so he's like even a little bit more Latino than me. 00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:56.960 And um and he gets up there and he just destroys, you know, and he's flipping multiple bottles at the same time, and uh his routine is set to the beastie boys, you gotta fight for your right to party. 00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:06.319 And you know, he gets to the chorus and it's like, you gotta fight, flip, flip for your right, catch, catch to party. 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:12.799 The place goes, for lack of a better word, apeshit. 00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:21.200 Um, you know, he closes by jumping up on the rail and he swoops the whipped cream out of the rail, and there's three girls that are sitting there at the bar, and this is obviously a pre-planned stunt. 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:28.000 And they all throw their heads back and open their mouths, and he whipped creams each of their mouths and then jumps into the bar to thunderous applause. 00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:42.079 And I'm standing there, and it's I go over, I go over to my manager, Scott, and I'm like, yo, I can't do this. 00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:44.640 Like, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna do it. 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:45.839 Uh, you gotta get me out of this. 00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:47.119 I'm not I'm I'm not gonna go out there.

00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:48.000 And he's like, What? 00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:48.960 Like, what are you talking about? 00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:50.559 Like, you have to, like, you're our representative. 00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:51.759 Like, I repped you. 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:53.200 And I was like, I don't care. 00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:54.240 Like, I I can't do this. 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:55.519 I'm not gonna- I can't follow this guy. 00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:58.000 Like, I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna make a fool out of myself. 00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:00.079 And um, and he's like, alright. 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:02.799 I'm like, just I'm like, just tell him I'm sick, like I'm not doing it. 00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:04.160 And I see and he's like, fine. 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:06.160 And I see this look come over his face. 00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:09.759 And it's a look I'm very familiar with at that point in my life. 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:13.279 And it's a look of disappointment. 00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:18.480 And, you know, I've seen that look many times in my life. 00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:22.079 I've seen it on the faces of my parents when I told them I was dropping out of school. 00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:30.079 I've seen them on the face of various employers that I had, that were of jobs that I was either fired, you know, f fired from or quitting. 00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:35.599 Um, I'd seen it on the faces of girlfriends who were dumping me for something that I did or I didn't do. 00:18:35.839 --> 00:18:39.279 And, you know, I realized that this is my MO, right? 00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:41.119 I I'm really good at starting things. 00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:49.039 And I'm really good at getting into things with enthusiasm and with gusto, but then when it gets tough and when you have to do the work, I bail. 00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:52.640 And I and then maybe, just maybe. 00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:57.519 That's why I was, you know, working at this restaurant and my life was basically going nowhere at that point. 00:18:57.680 --> 00:18:59.440 And so I was like, you know what? 00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:01.039 I'll do it. 00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:02.880 Thank you. 00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:10.000 And Scott's like, great, go get him. 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:13.119 And so I turn around and I trudge up to the bar. 00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:15.119 And then he's like, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:17.279 He's like, What song do you want me to play? 00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:21.599 And I'm like, bro, it doesn't matter. 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:28.400 And I turn around and I walk out behind the bar. 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:42.319 And I look at a sea of faces, and all these people looking at me with just these bright-eyed anticipation that they're gonna see like some some new some new levels of like bar trickery, right? 00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:45.519 And and they're just they're waiting for a show. 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:58.720 And I just look down at my shoes, I'm waiting for

the song to start, and the music starts up, and it's Billy Idol dancing with myself. 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:15.680 And so I kind of smile, and then I just start laughing, and I start tapping my foot, you know, just kind of giving one of these, getting into the flow. 00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:24.559 And then I launch into three and a half minutes of what can only be described as an absolute mockery of the art and craft of flair bartending. 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:26.880 Nothing goes right. 00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:30.480 I try to do my I try to do my flip and I hit myself in the face with a tin. 00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:31.519 You know? 00:20:31.839 --> 00:20:36.960 I try to flip a bottle, you know, it lands, you know, nozzle side down on my wrist. 00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:39.519 You know, but I'm I'm in it now, right? 00:20:39.599 --> 00:20:43.440 And I'm kind of all over the place, but I'm I'm I'm doing it with energy, I'm doing it with gusto, you know. 00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:47.599 I'm getting bar mixes and alcohol over myself and all over everybody in the front row. 00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:48.960 But I'm getting after it. 00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:53.200 And I've I've got and I'm smiling, I'm laughing, I'm having a good time, and the crowd's having a good time. 00:20:53.279 --> 00:21:01.759 And at the end, you know, as a tribute to a steb on, you know, I grab the bloody merry mix and I jump up on the bar and I try to get the you know the girls to kind of engage in this routine and they look at me like, no, what are you doing? 00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:05.200 And then that's it. 00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:14.000 And yes, I did get the lowest score ever recorded at one of these events. 00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:21.759 But I did it! I stuck it through, and at least I know that I've got flair! Thank you. 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:30.960 I would pay good money to see a video of Tim in this flare bartending competition. 00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:38.720 In each episode of this podcast, we're highlighting a storyteller from our local Hudson Valley storytelling scene and sharing a brief interview with them. 00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:47.119 And this week I'm so happy to introduce you to the wonderful Eli Walker, who hosts our monthly Story Slams at Norma's and Wappinger's Falls. 00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:54.000 Eli's an actress, an entrepreneur who turned a drinking game into a viral phenomenon called drunk yoga. 00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:58.799 She's a social wellness and belonging expert and a heck of a good storyteller to boot. 00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:04.799 And here's a story she Told at one of our artichoke workshop class shows this past June. 00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:09.759 Um, okay. 00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:19.119 So moving to New York City at age 18, I never once thought about whether I was allowed to have control over my body. 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:21.359 As in like reproductively, right? 00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:27.359 Because in New York, if something goes wrong, there's a Dwayne Reed on every corner, there's a clinic in every neighborhood. 00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:32.160 I always had access to birth control, plan B, you name it. 00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:36.480 My body was a thing that I like lived in, not a thing I had to defend. 00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:41.920 But when I was 21 years old, I was studying abroad in Prague. 00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:49.920 And um, over Thanksgiving weekend, my friend Laura and I were traveling back to Prague from spending the weekend in London. 00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:57.200 So it was late Sunday evening, we were hungover in Heathrow Airport when we got a text from our friend back in Prague. 00:22:57.279 --> 00:23:05.599 And that text said, Hey guys, I need the morning after pill, and I can't get it here in Prague because you need a prescription. 00:23:05.759 --> 00:23:09.200 So by the time I make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, it'll be too late. 00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:11.359 Can you pick it up at a pharmacy in Heathrow? 00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:14.960 Okay, so just one more time for the people in the back. 00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:28.160 In 2011 in the Czech Republic, to get the morning after pill, you needed a prescription from a doctor signed, right, to prevent a pregnancy on a Sunday when no doctors were open. 00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:33.440 We had 45 minutes until our gate closed, and there were three pharmacies in the terminal. 00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:38.640 And something happened to Laura and I in that moment that I never experienced before. 00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:48.079 It was like this primal urge to protect our friend, our kind, funny, usually very responsible friend. 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:50.640 And her bodily autonomy. 00:23:50.799 --> 00:24:00.960 See, there was a woman 400 miles away whose entire next two decades potentially depended on what Laura and I could accomplish in the next 45 minutes. 00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:06.640 And I felt my body, but what I'd never really had to think about become a vehicle for her. 00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:10.000 Okay, so pharmacy number one, I do the talking. 00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:12.400 I go up to the front desk and I say, Hi, excuse me. 00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:15.200 We need the morning after pill for our friend. 00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:20.799 And the pharmacist looks at me with a patient eyes of someone who's had this conversation many times. 00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:22.160 She says, I'm sorry. 00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:25.200 I can only dispense it to the person who's going to take it. 00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:26.960 Right, but she's in Prague. 00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:28.799 Well, she's going to have to get it there. 00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:30.240 No, she can't get it there. 00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:31.279 That's why we're here. 00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:32.640 I'm sorry. 00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:34.160 Fuck. 00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:35.680 Okay, so we leave. 00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:37.200 We sprint to pharmacy number two. 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:38.160 New strategy.

00:24:38.400 --> 00:24:47.279 Laura, beautiful, brilliant Laura from the Bronx, walks up to the front desk and she says very loudly, Hi, excuse me. 00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:48.400 Hi, excuse me. 00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:50.079 I need the morning after pill. 00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:55.599 And the person at the front desk says, Um, one moment, I'll get the pharmacist. 00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:04.880 And ten long minutes later, we are still standing there in Terminal 5 watching our flight time tick down while somewhere in the back, a pharmacist finishes her frickin' tea. 00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:08.000 Finally, the pharmacist arrives. 00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:10.079 She has a clipboard, she has 10 questions. 00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:10.880 So she starts. 00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:13.519 She says, When did the unprotected sex occur? 00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:15.680 Laura, um, last night. 00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:18.240 When was the date of your last menstrual period? 00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:19.920 Um, two weeks ago? 00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:21.359 And your cycle length? 00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:23.119 Uh, I don't know, 28 days. 00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:26.720 And have you had any other unprotected sex this cycle? 00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:29.519 Um yes. 00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:31.440 Question mark. 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:36.079 She puts down the clipboard and says, I'm sorry, I cannot dispense this to you. 00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:37.680 Fuck. 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:39.119 Okay, we leave. 00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:45.519 We sprint to pharmacy number three, last pharmacy, last chance, and you guys, the pharmacist isn't there. 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:47.279 Of course, the pharmacist isn't there. 00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:49.279 Why would there be a pharmacist at a pharmacy? 00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:50.480 They have to call her in. 00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:52.799 We are now actively missing our boarding time. 00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:56.640 But listen, y'all, we had been studying, okay? 00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:02.880 We had failed two plan B practice exams, but now we knew the motherfucking curriculum. 00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:06.640 So finally the pharmacist arrives. 00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:09.759 She's got the clipboard, Laura walks up, they are ready. 00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:12.319 When did the unprotected sex occur? 00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:13.680 Last night. 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:16.319 When was the date of your last menstrual period? 00:26:16.559 --> 00:26:18.559 Two weeks ago, 28-day cycle? 00:26:18.799 --> 00:26:19.759 Regular. 00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:23.519 Have you had any other unprotected sex this cycle? 00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:24.160 No. 00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:30.640 Any other medication allergies, like topic pregnancy, liver disease, Crohn's? 00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:32.960 No, no, no, no, no. 00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:37.039 Ten for ten, motherfuckers, ten for ten. 00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:43.039 Laura performed the most convincing piece of theater of her undergraduate career. 00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:53.440 The pharmacist hands us a little white box, and we ran through Terminal 5 to our gate, like Olympians, our winter coats drenched in vodka-smelling sweat. 00:26:53.599 --> 00:26:56.559 We make our flight by the grace of the reproductive gods. 00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:02.480 We land in Prague, we deliver the pill to our friend, she takes it at work, she does not get pregnant. 00:27:05.519 --> 00:27:09.039 Okay, you guys, that was the end of November 2011. 00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:17.279 All right, by the end of December 2011, fun fact, that pill was made available over the counter in the Czech Republic. 00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:29.839 So by Christmas, our friend could have just walked into any pharmacy in Prague and bought it like a pack of gum, whereas we had run a 45-minute relay race across an international border for a lot that had three weeks left to live, but that's fine. 00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:31.519 Okay. 00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:37.279 Growing up, I thought my body, like every woman's body, belonged to me. 00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:42.799 But that Sunday evening in Heathrow, I learned it's actually something that a lot of women have to fight for. 00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:53.279 And I learned that the women who fight for it will lie, sprint, and memorize the pharmacy test and the time it takes to miss a connecting flight. 00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:58.000 And I have been one of those women once, and I would do it again. 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:06.799 Hello, listeners, it's me, Carly, your producer and storytelling enthusiast. 00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:09.839 I'm excited to share a little bit from my chat with Eli. 00:28:10.240 --> 00:28:17.279 We talked about how she came to be the host of the Story Slams at Norma's and her process for crafting her own stories. 00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:20.559 Spoiler alert, she is an over-preparer. 00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:22.000 Here's Eli. 00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:25.279 How did the hosting of the Story Slams come to be? 00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:29.440 I've always been interested in storytelling, but don't really have a background in it. 00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:34.799 I did go to NYU Tish School of the Arts for Acting, so I have a background in acting, but not storytelling. 00:28:35.039 --> 00:28:36.960 But I thought close enough, right? 00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:40.880 Little did I know how hard storytelling actually is. 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:43.839 I thought it'd be really easy, but it's actually really, really difficult. 00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:46.160 And I have a lot more respect for storytellers now. 00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:56.240 I called Drew and I said, Hey, I was thinking about hosting a storytelling open mic night because I really just need to make some friends and I want to get back on the stage. 00:28:56.480 --> 00:29:01.279 If I started a storytelling open mic night in Beacon, would that be stepping on your toes? 00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:06.720 And he was so sweet and he said, you know, I've actually been needing

to do an open mic myself. 00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:07.839 Do you want to just do it together? 00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:10.160 And like the articho can do it and you can just host it. 00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:11.599 And I was like, ideal. 00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:12.559 Yes, please. 00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:15.200 What do you think is the most difficult part of storytelling? 00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:19.759 And how have you held those difficulties in your own storytelling? 00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:21.200 I like that question. 00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:35.279 For me personally, the hardest part of the art of storytelling, like that specific genre of like the six-minute story has to be true, has to have happened to you, has to have a beginning, middle, end, it's timed, like truncated. 00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:44.240 Obviously, getting it short enough, because you'd be surprised if anyone out there has never done storytelling, like how how quick six minutes can go. 00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:58.720 And so writing it to perfection and then being able to memorize it in such a way that you really know it in your body and know it in your heart and your soul, so you can really speak from your heart and your soul when you're on a stage and share it. 00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:02.720 Um, so it feels extemporaneous to the folks in your audience. 00:30:02.960 --> 00:30:13.680 I'll spend a day just sort of reading it out loud in 20 minute blocks, and then as quickly as I can, I start to put down the paper and just read it, like memorize it as quickly as I can. 00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:20.640 And then my system is I do it like five or ten times a day before I perform it for about a week in advance. 00:30:20.880 --> 00:30:22.799 I'm an over-preparer, Carly. 00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:27.119 Well, I I mean I think that it's so beautiful. 00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:33.039 I love when we can technical and inside baseball um talking to folks because everybody's process is really different. 00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:36.720 I always give myself a certain time when I stop practicing. 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:51.519 I'll maybe run it the night before and maybe once the day of, or maybe sometimes not at all the day of, so that I am like just trusting myself to know what I've practiced, but then guaranteeing that I'm I'm still looking for it in the moment. 00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:58.880 I really want to start trusting myself more and like um practice less, but I'm a rambler. 00:30:58.960 --> 00:30:59.680 What can I say? 00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:03.039 Just I feel like if I don't have the words, I'm gonna go on and on. 00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:05.759 Is there anything else you want to let everybody know about what you're up? 00:31:06.079 --> 00:31:22.240 I'm premiering something new in 2027 in Vermont, actually, at this cool place called Next Stage, and it's this first time that I'm combining solo performance art, speaking about belonging, so I'm breaking the fourth wall, and it's educational, but it's also highly facilitated and play-based. 00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:29.359 It's something that I've wanted to do for a long time, and it's just been one of those pipe dreams, but now I feel like, you know, no time like the present Carly. 00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:35.839 And so have a date, and I'm gonna start it and we're gonna tour it, and really excited about that. 00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:46.079 You can find Eli online at belongwithelai.com and definitely check out her one woman show in which she plays multiple characters called Kill the Buddha. 00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:47.759 It is outstanding. 00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.240 And that's it for this week, everybody. 00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:57.440 If you're enjoying the podcast, please, please hit that subscribe button or leave us a comment because we love hearing from you. 00:31:57.680 --> 00:32:00.799 Our theme song is The Artichoke by Charming Disaster. 00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:10.559 Thank you so much to them, to our storytellers, to our producer Carly Shiraki, and to our graphic designer Adam Selpst, and to you, the audience, for listening. 00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:12.160 We'll catch you next time.