บทถอดความฉบับเต็มของ Correspondence_School

time? 78 00:04:31.420 --> 00:04:33.439 Yeah, a little time to find out what I'm best 79 00:04:33.459 --> 00:04:36.079 fitted for, you see. And so they were married. 80 00:04:36.300 --> 00:04:38.850 And now, 22 years later, we look in on the 81 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:40.410 kingfish and his wife, Sapphire. 82 00:04:41.129 --> 00:04:43.310 There you go again, Sapphire, nagging at me about getting 83 00:04:43.329 --> 00:04:45.009 a job. I done told you it's going to take 84 00:04:45.050 --> 00:04:46.870 a little time to find out what I suited for. 85 00:04:50.509 --> 00:04:52.629 You've been saying that for 22 years, but you ain't 86 00:04:52.649 --> 00:04:54.250 never done nothing about it. 87 00:04:54.290 --> 00:04:56.889 Yeah, well, you know, picking the right business ain't easy. 88 00:04:56.910 --> 00:04:59.509 After all, I don't want to get to be a 89 00:04:59.550 --> 00:05:01.670 big success in something only to find out later that 90 00:05:01.730 --> 00:05:04.029 I ain't fitted for it, you know. 91 00:05:04.589 --> 00:05:07.129 Well, it's high time that you fitted yourself for some job. 92 00:05:07.610 --> 00:05:10.290 Honey, look here. I is handicapped. That's why I can't 93 00:05:10.310 --> 00:05:12.569 get a job. I just ain't got the education. 94 00:05:13.430 --> 00:05:14.290 Education? 95 00:05:14.370 --> 00:05:16.220 If I had education, I could go to work. 96 00:05:16.680 --> 00:05:18.899 Now, don't tell me that you're dumb, George Stevens. 97 00:05:19.339 --> 00:05:32.350 I can prove it to you. I married you, didn't I? Well, 98 00:05:32.370 --> 00:05:34.529 that's the story, Henry. I just told Sapphire I couldn't 99 00:05:34.550 --> 00:05:36.129 get a job and make money because I didn't have 100 00:05:36.170 --> 00:05:38.689 no education. Well, you know, that's a coincidence. 101 00:05:38.889 --> 00:05:41.269 Andy was talking about fitting himself for some kind of 102 00:05:41.310 --> 00:05:43.610 work by taking the course at some kind of school. 103 00:05:44.269 --> 00:05:48.639 Possibly a correspondence school or some big state universal. I 104 00:05:48.819 --> 00:05:50.639 think that he's trying to find the right school. 105 00:05:51.160 --> 00:05:56.540 The right school. Andy wants a correspondence. Say, maybe I 106 00:05:56.579 --> 00:05:59.639 could dig up a school for him. Henry, I think 107 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:01.279 I'm going to be able to take my wife home 108 00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:04.560 some money. Yes, well, you're all set, Kingfish. I've got 109 00:06:04.579 --> 00:06:06.319 to go home, too. You know, my wife and me 110 00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:08.360 had a little tiff today. Oh, what's the matter? 111 00:06:08.620 --> 00:06:10.620 Well, my wife wanted me to take the laundry to 112 00:06:10.689 --> 00:06:13.970 one of these self-service automatic places. Can you imagine a 113 00:06:13.990 --> 00:06:16.269 wife asking her husband to do an embarrassing thing like that? 114 00:06:16.850 --> 00:06:19.110 I put my foot down. I positively refused. 115 00:06:19.269 --> 00:06:21.250 And you didn't take your washing down there? I should 116 00:06:21.410 --> 00:06:32.500 say not. I'd done it at home. Oh. Well, I 117 00:06:32.540 --> 00:06:34.240 got to begin to think that I was an agent 118 00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:36.839 for a high class correspondence school. Uh, let me, wait 119 00:06:36.939 --> 00:06:40.319 a minute, here he comes now. I'll get on the phone. Hiya, Kingfish, hiya. 120 00:06:40.389 --> 00:06:42.829 Say, what's that sign over your door that say, uh, 121 00:06:43.250 --> 00:06:45.110 Worldwide A1 Correspondence School? 122 00:06:45.250 --> 00:06:46.910 Uh, be with you in just a minute, Andy. I 123 00:06:46.930 --> 00:06:49.050 got to make a report and call the President Eisenhower 124 00:06:49.089 --> 00:06:52.769 at Columbia University. Uh, wait a minute. Uh, hello, operator. Uh, 125 00:06:52.790 --> 00:06:58.379 give me Alma Mater 3642, will you, please? You calling Eisenhower? Uh, yeah, 126 00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:00.779 wait a minute. Uh, hello, Columbia. I'd like to speak 127 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:04.459 to General Isaacson. Oh, is this you, General? They got 128 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:10.000 you on the switchboard today, huh? Uh, General, this is 129 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:13.819 George Stevens of Worldwide. Oh, that's fine, thanks. What's new 130 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:17.360 with you? Oh, you got a third biography coming out, huh? 131 00:07:18.399 --> 00:07:21.699 Your butler wrote this one, huh? Well, General, I just 132 00:07:21.750 --> 00:07:24.209 called to say hello. Naturally, all of us at Worldwide 133 00:07:24.250 --> 00:07:29.600 Correspondence takes interest in our former students like you. What's that? Oh, 134 00:07:29.660 --> 00:07:31.639 I wouldn't feel too bad about not going for that 135 00:07:31.699 --> 00:07:38.000 other deal. At least you wound up being present or something. Okay, well, 136 00:07:38.019 --> 00:07:40.240 so long. As we say up at Yale, bye-bye and 137 00:07:40.259 --> 00:07:49.889 a happy whiffing poof to you. Say, Kingfish, excuse. 138 00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:52.899 Me for eavesdropping on your conversation, but I never know 139 00:07:52.920 --> 00:07:55.019 that General Eisenhower went to correspondence school. 140 00:07:55.160 --> 00:07:56.920 Oh, he was one of our best students, Andy. He 141 00:07:56.939 --> 00:08:01.740 went to our school for a curriculum and a half. Well, 142 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:04.589 you know, Kingfish, I might be interested in going to 143 00:08:04.610 --> 00:08:07.110 this school. Do you think I could get in? Well, 144 00:08:07.209 --> 00:08:10.050 of course, you'd have to take the required entrance exam, Andy. 145 00:08:10.430 --> 00:08:13.589 Is that very tough, Kingfish? Well, now, that depends. Have 146 00:08:13.610 --> 00:08:16.860 you ever had your IQ took? No, but somebody got 147 00:08:16.899 --> 00:08:20.100 my watch down at the pool hall last week. And 148 00:08:20.160 -->

00:08:22.579 the IQ, that's to see how smart you is. Tell 149 00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:24.199 me this, when you went to grade school, how far 150 00:08:24.220 --> 00:08:26.740 did you go? About three miles. I took a shortcut 151 00:08:26.759 --> 00:08:32.950 to a college. Oh, no, and I mean, look, how 152 00:08:32.990 --> 00:08:35.750 long did you go to school? Oh, oh, well, I 153 00:08:35.769 --> 00:08:40.029 remember I spent two terms in the second grade. Two terms? Yeah, 154 00:08:40.090 --> 00:08:49.509 Wilson's and Coolidge's. Oh. That's what I wanted to know now, Andy. Now, 155 00:08:49.529 --> 00:08:51.429 tell you what, I'll give you an IQ, what we 156 00:08:51.470 --> 00:08:54.429 call the entrance exam for the correspondence school. All right, 157 00:08:54.470 --> 00:08:57.110 question number one. Here we go. You ready? Yeah. What 158 00:08:57.149 --> 00:09:02.200 is your name? Andy Brown. Correct. Second question, what is 159 00:09:02.220 --> 00:09:06.419 your address? No cheating now. Come on now. Simpson's Boarding 160 00:09:06.460 --> 00:09:09.460 House on 134th Street. Right again. Say, your IQ is 161 00:09:09.480 --> 00:09:12.169 higher than I thought it was. Now the next question, Andy, 162 00:09:12.250 --> 00:09:15.190 is about history. Who was the man that chopped down 163 00:09:15.210 --> 00:09:17.480 the cherry tree, never told a lie, was the first 164 00:09:17.519 --> 00:09:21.759 president of the country, and had the city of Washington, D.C. 165 00:09:21.779 --> 00:09:25.590 named after him? That's a tough one. Let me consecrate 166 00:09:25.620 --> 00:09:29.789 on that one. Hey, I'll give you a little hint. Georgie, 167 00:09:30.169 --> 00:09:34.210 you crossed to Delaware. Oh, Georgie, I think the world... 168 00:09:34.190 --> 00:09:38.850 I got it, I got it. Nelson Eddy. Well, Eddie, 169 00:09:38.870 --> 00:09:40.970 look here. You didn't do so good on that last one, 170 00:09:41.009 --> 00:09:43.470 but that stumped a lot of the best ones. Wait 171 00:09:43.490 --> 00:09:46.789 a minute. You got an average here of 85. You 172 00:09:46.870 --> 00:09:50.840 is ready to matriculate into our Worldwide A1 Correspondence School. Well, 173 00:09:50.860 --> 00:09:53.480 that's good. Listen, what courses has she got, Capri? Well, 174 00:09:53.500 --> 00:09:58.769 let's take a look at the menu here. We've got... 175 00:09:59.149 --> 00:10:02.299 We've got Drafton. electrical engineering. Yeah, tell me this. They 176 00:10:02.340 --> 00:10:04.700 got good teachers for them things? Well, the electrical engineering 177 00:10:04.740 --> 00:10:08.440 course is being written by Thomas Edison himself. Well, how 178 00:10:08.460 --> 00:10:11.080 about the course on drafting? General Hershey for that. Oh, 179 00:10:11.100 --> 00:10:14.279 we got good men. Yeah, well, I'll tell you, I 180 00:10:14.299 --> 00:10:17.059 kind of like that electrical engineering course. Well, electrical engineering 181 00:10:17.080 --> 00:10:19.100 is a good one, Ender. And you ought to do 182 00:10:19.159 --> 00:10:20.620 all right if you'll just keep your head up against 183 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:22.740 the grindstone, light up the midnight oil, burn the candle 184 00:10:22.759 --> 00:10:24.940 at both ends and all that stuff. You might even 185 00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:29.110 end up with honors. Granulate from the electrical course, master 186 00:10:29.149 --> 00:10:33.470 come louder. And, Ender, we have reduced the price to 187 00:10:33.470 --> 00:10:36.850 $ 50 in cash. Okay, okay, Kingfish. Here, here's the $ 50. 188 00:10:36.789 --> 00:10:39.629 When do I get my first lesson? The first lesson, 189 00:10:39.750 --> 00:10:41.149 I'll air mail it to you tomorrow. 190 00:10:41.539 --> 00:10:44.330 Well, let's work together now. Me and you and the 191 00:10:44.450 --> 00:10:45.309 Worldwide School. 192 00:10:45.450 --> 00:10:47.230 Right. Wait a minute, though. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 193 00:10:47.269 --> 00:10:49.809 That's three of us. That's unlucky. No, no. And the 194 00:10:49.830 --> 00:10:53.090 three ain't unlucky. Don't you remember that old story? There 195 00:10:53.149 --> 00:11:00.320 was three children in the land of Babylon. And rack 196 00:11:01.259 --> 00:11:08.750 me shack of bed need gold. Now there was three 197 00:11:08.789 --> 00:11:12.850 children from the land of Israel. Shack, rack, rake, shack, a-bending, go. 198 00:11:12.870 --> 00:11:17.690 They took a little trip to the land of Babylon. Shack, rack, rake, shack, a-bending, go. 199 00:11:17.809 --> 00:11:22.679 Nebuchadnezzar was the king of Babylon. Shack, rack, rake, shack, a-bending, go. 200 00:11:22.740 --> 00:11:24.320 He took a heap of gold and he made him 201 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:27.600 an idol. Shack, rack, rake, shack, a-bending, go. 202 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:30.879 Now we told everybody when you hear the music of 203 00:11:30.899 --> 00:11:31.240 the cornet. 204 00:11:31.259 --> 00:11:31.500 Oh, yeah. 205 00:11:31.559 --> 00:11:35.919 And we told everybody when you hear the music of 206 00:11:36.019 --> 00:11:39.919 the flute. And you told everybody when you hear the 207 00:11:39.940 --> 00:11:41.879 music of the horn. 208 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:44.580 Good Lord said you got to bow down and worship 209 00:11:44.620 --> 00:11:48.200 the idol. But the children of Israel would not bow down. 210 00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:49.559 You couldn't fool them. 211 00:11:49.460 --> 00:11:50.179 With a golden idol. 212 00:11:57.429 --> 00:12:01.889 So the king put the children in the fiery furnace. 213 00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:06.549 And he heaped on coal and red-hot brimstone. 214 00:12:06.830 --> 00:12:11.289 He made it seven times hotter than it ought to be. 215 00:12:11.549 --> 00:12:15.629 He even burned up the soldiers the king had put there. Shack-a-bandicoot! 216 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:24.419 217 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:25.740 . 218 00:12:47.419 --> 00:12:51.149 But old Nephew could never say, Hey, now,

he's so empowered, 219 00:12:51.169 --> 00:12:51.929 little lord. 220 00:12:52.250 --> 00:12:56.009 And they had a big time in the land of Babylon. Shack, rack, me, shack, 221 00:12:56.330 --> 00:12:58.070 and the bed they go. Shack, rack, me, shack, and 222 00:12:58.149 --> 00:12:58.750 the bed they go. 223 00:12:58.769 --> 00:13:01.940 Shack, rack, me, shack, and the bed they go. 224 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:21.779 Shack, rack, me, shack, and the bed they go. Hello there. 225 00:13:22.179 --> 00:13:23.240 This is John Lake. 226 00:13:23.830 --> 00:13:26.350 You know, while I've been sitting here waiting until it's 227 00:13:26.409 --> 00:13:28.690 time for me to say a few words about new Rinseau, 228 00:13:29.210 --> 00:13:32.389 I've been thinking. No matter what I say about the 229 00:13:32.450 --> 00:13:36.289 amazing new brilliance of a Rinseau wash, no matter how 230 00:13:36.370 --> 00:13:39.879 persuasively I tell you how new Rinseau with sodium puts 231 00:13:39.929 --> 00:13:44.519 sunshine in your wash, you'll never really appreciate Rinseau until 232 00:13:44.539 --> 00:13:48.279 you've used Rinseau yourself. What happens in a Rinseau wash 233 00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:52.990 is almost unbelievable. White clothes turn out not just whiter, 234 00:13:53.029 --> 00:13:56.470 but whiter than new. And washable color is not just brighter, 235 00:13:57.009 --> 00:14:00.970 but brighter than brand new. Now, that's a very astonishing 236 00:14:01.009 --> 00:14:04.500 thing to see happen. And it's possible because new Rinseau 237 00:14:04.549 --> 00:14:10.720 contains a new ingredient, the scientific sunlight ingredient, sodium. Rinseau 238 00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:14.440 with sodium is so wonderful it can do this. Even 239 00:14:14.580 --> 00:14:18.019 clothes that are dried indoors look as though they've been 240 00:14:18.090 --> 00:14:22.490 blowing in the warm summer sun. It's sunshine in your wash. 241 00:14:23.429 --> 00:14:27.389 I think you'd better try safe new Rinseau yourself. Only 242 00:14:27.450 --> 00:14:29.269 new Rinseau contains sodium. 243 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:43.419 Listen, Amos, when I find that kingfish, I'm going to 244 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:46.960 have a showdown with him. Yeah, well, tell me this, Andy. 245 00:14:47.559 --> 00:14:49.879 What is the matter? What is you matter, bud? I 246 00:14:49.899 --> 00:14:51.799 ain't never seen you like this. Well, I'll tell you. 247 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:54.720 A week ago, I joined a correspondence school, and I 248 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:55.960 ain't got my first lesson yet. 249 00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:59.419 You joined a correspondence school? You mean you're taking a 250 00:14:59.470 --> 00:15:01.929 course there, huh? Yeah, that's right. You know anything about 251 00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:03.730 the school? Well, a little. 252 00:15:04.490 --> 00:15:06.690 Only thing is, they ain't got no electricity in their place. 253 00:15:06.730 --> 00:15:08.870 They're using candles, burning

oil, and everything else. 254 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:12.440 Yeah, well, I don't get that. Well, I'll still do 255 00:15:12.500 --> 00:15:15.039 all right there. Don't worry. Kingfish told me I'll be 256 00:15:15.059 --> 00:15:21.039 able to trickle out of the thing as the come loudmouth. Well, 257 00:15:21.059 --> 00:15:23.139 tell me this, Andy. What has the kingfish got to 258 00:15:23.179 --> 00:15:25.399 do with all this? Well, I give him $ 50 for 259 00:15:25.539 --> 00:15:28.620 the course. He's selling them for the worldwide school. And 260 00:15:28.659 --> 00:15:31.730 you say you ain't got no lessons yet, huh? No. Yeah, son, 261 00:15:31.789 --> 00:15:34.570 it look like to me that maybe that kingfish is 262 00:15:34.590 --> 00:15:38.340 pulling a fast one on you again, son. Say... I 263 00:15:38.379 --> 00:15:40.740 wonder if he has done something on me. Hey, well, 264 00:15:40.779 --> 00:15:43.559 what can you do? I'll find out. I'll call up 265 00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:54.509 Thomas Edison. Hi, Shorty. Is your seat entered? 266 00:15:54.529 --> 00:15:57.190 He was in here about 30 minutes. He came in 267 00:15:57.210 --> 00:15:59.669 to get a haircut and a shave. He stopped by just. 268 00:15:59.570 --> 00:16:09.429 To see it. I ain't seen him. Yeah, well, I'm 269 00:16:09.450 --> 00:16:10.129 glad to hear that. 270 00:16:10.350 --> 00:16:12.330 But Amos told me that Andy was mad with you 271 00:16:12.350 --> 00:16:14.419 for jibbing him with that car spying school. 272 00:16:14.860 --> 00:16:20.120 Yeah, well, I sold Andy a course and charged him $ 50, uh, intuition. Well, 273 00:16:20.679 --> 00:16:26.080 even if you cheated him, it was certainly cheap enough. Yeah. Oh, 274 00:16:26.200 --> 00:16:28.320 school is a wonderful thing, shorty. 275 00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:31.080 You know, Ken, speaking of school, I had a date 276 00:16:31.100 --> 00:16:33.000 with a beautiful college girl last night. 277 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:34.059 She invited me. 278 00:16:34.059 --> 00:16:36.730 Up to her house to play checkers. Play checkers, huh? 279 00:16:36.809 --> 00:16:39.409 Yeah, we were sitting there with only that little checkerboard 280 00:16:39.450 --> 00:16:42.970 between us. And at 12 o'clock midnight, she looked me 281 00:16:43.009 --> 00:16:45.509 in the eye, smiled, and turned out the light. 282 00:16:46.129 --> 00:16:48.720 But I turned it right back on. I got wise 283 00:16:48.759 --> 00:16:52.690 to her. What do you mean you got wires to her? 284 00:16:52.730 --> 00:16:58.399 She was trying to cheat a checker. You know, shorty, Conferential, 285 00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:00.139 I gotta find some way to get from under this 286 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:02.730 electrical engineering course that I done promised Andrew. 287 00:17:03.419 --> 00:17:05.880 From what Amos say, Andy's pretty mad at you because 288 00:17:06.059 --> 00:17:08.559 he ain't got no lessons yet from your school. You 289 00:17:08.579 --> 00:17:10.119 better be prepared because he's. 290 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.680 Looking for you. Yeah, well, I'm going to have to 291 00:17:11.740 --> 00:17:14.579 tell him something. What excuse could I have for not 292 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:17.180 sending him the electrical engineering lessons? Hey, wait a minute. 293 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:19.880 I got it. I'll tell him the school is on vacation. 294 00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:20.509 That ought to do it. 295 00:17:21.180 --> 00:17:24.640 Say, speaking of engineering, you know, Kingfish, when I was 296 00:17:24.660 --> 00:17:27.009 a boy, I was a mechanical wizard. 297 00:17:27.730 --> 00:17:31.730 Oh, there was nothing I couldn't do mechanical. Oh, that's true. Oh, yeah. 298 00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:32.509 And my... And my.... 299 00:17:35.480 --> 00:17:39.009 My father, he recognized my talents. So one Christmas, he 300 00:17:39.029 --> 00:17:41.029 gave me an erector set to practice on. 301 00:17:41.150 --> 00:17:42.670 An erector set, huh? Oh, yeah. 302 00:17:42.890 --> 00:17:45.470 It came in a nice big wooden box. My father 303 00:17:45.490 --> 00:17:47.349 told me some day, I turned out to be a 304 00:17:47.369 --> 00:17:49.390 great engineer, and I would have been too if it 305 00:17:49.410 --> 00:17:50.450 hadn't been for one thing. 306 00:17:50.490 --> 00:17:52.980 What was that? Well, the mechanical connections. 307 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:58.740 The equipment didn't... The measurements of the different... I couldn't. 308 00:17:58.579 --> 00:18:15.150 Get the box open. Well, look who's here. Student Brown. 309 00:18:15.170 --> 00:18:18.430 How's everything at the alma mater? Wait till I lock 310 00:18:18.450 --> 00:18:22.289 this door. I want to have a talk with you. 311 00:18:22.529 --> 00:18:24.390 Wait a minute. What you lying to do about it? Kingfish, 312 00:18:24.450 --> 00:18:25.960 I'm going to beat you to pieces. I'm going to 313 00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:27.940 punch you right in the nose. Now, wait a minute, Andy. 314 00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:29.720 You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you? You 315 00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:31.400 ain't got glasses on. Well, I just ordered them today. 316 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:35.339 I'm getting them tomorrow. Now, wait a minute. Now, what 317 00:18:35.400 --> 00:18:37.700 is bothering you, my student friend? 318 00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:40.329 Kingfish, I've been sitting home with my pencil and my 319 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:42.470 IQ all sharpened up, and I ain't got no lessons. 320 00:18:43.059 --> 00:18:46.140 Yeah, well, Andy, naturally, we ain't mailed out no lessons yet, 321 00:18:46.259 --> 00:18:49.230 and there's a good reason for it. What do you mean? Well, Andy, 322 00:18:49.349 --> 00:18:52.849 you signed up for the course here on November the 3rd. Right. Well, 323 00:18:52.910 --> 00:18:56.690 November the 1st, or the 4th, the following day, was 324 00:18:56.710 --> 00:18:59.670 the first day of the Christmas vacation. Hmm. 325 00:18:59.849 --> 00:19:03.130 Ain't that

kind of early for Christmas holidays, Kingfish? 326 00:19:03.690 --> 00:19:06.009 Oh, not at all, Andy. The Christmas holiday starts right 327 00:19:06.049 --> 00:19:10.150 after the end of our first school siesta. Too bad 328 00:19:10.170 --> 00:19:12.390 you didn't join the school a day earlier, Andy. You 329 00:19:12.410 --> 00:19:16.930 missed all the carol singing. It was beautiful singing. The commencement. 330 00:19:16.950 --> 00:19:19.329 We was the commencement of the ending there. Yeah. 331 00:19:19.950 --> 00:19:22.490 Well, I guess I start getting the lessons right after 332 00:19:22.509 --> 00:19:23.170 Christmas then, huh? 333 00:19:23.390 --> 00:19:26.349 Oh, no, Andy. Then we got some more holidays coming up. 334 00:19:26.380 --> 00:19:30.019 There's New Year's, Washington's birthday, Lincoln's birthday, the January white sales, 335 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:31.420 and National Donut Week. You see what I mean? 336 00:19:33.819 --> 00:19:35.650 We can't mail you no lessons with all that stuff 337 00:19:35.670 --> 00:19:38.369 going on, you know. Well, look here, Kingfish. I was 338 00:19:38.430 --> 00:19:41.490 counting on studying all year round. How come the school's 339 00:19:41.549 --> 00:19:43.160 closed down for so many holidays? 340 00:19:43.220 --> 00:19:47.259 Well, to protect the students, Andy. Science has discovered that 341 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:50.599 the brain can only hold so much knowledge. After that, 342 00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:55.220 it gets overcrowded. Well, how come they come to that confusion? Well, 343 00:19:55.619 --> 00:19:58.609 by the big experiment, Andy. They took an X-ray picture 344 00:19:58.619 --> 00:20:02.210 of Professor Einstein's head. They wanted to see if too 345 00:20:02.250 --> 00:20:04.930 much learning would hurt the brain. Well, how'd the picture 346 00:20:04.950 --> 00:20:07.109 come out? Well, I happened to be down in the 347 00:20:07.150 --> 00:20:11.630 drugstore when the snapshot came back. Uh... The inside of 348 00:20:11.670 --> 00:20:14.170 his head was really crowded. Looked like Times Square on 349 00:20:14.190 --> 00:20:14.890 New Year's Eve. 350 00:20:14.910 --> 00:20:19.710 Yeah, his Ukrainian must have been jammed full of learning, 351 00:20:19.730 --> 00:20:20.049 all right. 352 00:20:20.390 --> 00:20:23.710 Oh, yeah, it couldn't hold no more. The doctor say 353 00:20:23.730 --> 00:20:26.299 if Einstein had to put one more fact in his 354 00:20:26.359 --> 00:20:28.779 brain of his, the whole mess would have slopped over 355 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:32.789 into his antrum. That's what he put in his brain. Yeah, well, 356 00:20:32.869 --> 00:20:34.849 I guess he's got to be pretty careful, all right. Oh, yeah, 357 00:20:34.930 --> 00:20:38.529 if he learns himself any more of them theories, he's 358 00:20:38.730 --> 00:20:40.039 going to have to put a corset on his head 359 00:20:40.059 --> 00:20:44.240 to keep it from popping. Well, anyway, Andy, I guess 360 00:20:44.259 --> 00:20:47.579 you understand now why we had such a long vacation 361 00:20:47.640 --> 00:20:49.519 and might not get the lesson until next April or May, 362 00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:49.880 you see. 363 00:20:49.980 --> 00:20:53.039 Yeah, well, look, Kingfish, you know, this Worldwide Correspondence School 364 00:20:53.099 --> 00:20:55.680 sounds all right, but I believe I'll change my mind 365 00:20:55.740 --> 00:20:56.220 and get out of it. 366 00:20:56.650 --> 00:20:58.829 Give me my $ 50 back, will you? Well, Andy, that 367 00:20:58.829 --> 00:21:00.990 $ 50 has already been sent to headquarters. 368 00:21:01.309 --> 00:21:04.230 Wait a minute, you. Now, listen, Kingfish. I'm going to 369 00:21:04.269 --> 00:21:06.269 give you till 12 o'clock tomorrow to give me that $ 50. 370 00:21:06.150 --> 00:21:08.710 If you don't, I'm going to drag you into court. 371 00:21:08.569 --> 00:21:11.509 And sue you. Drag me into court? Yes, sir. Uh, 372 00:21:12.069 --> 00:21:13.750 you're going to sue me? Uh, Andy, look here. I 373 00:21:13.789 --> 00:21:15.950 got a great idea for you. Why don't you take 374 00:21:16.109 --> 00:21:19.130 our school's law course for $ 80, and in four years, 375 00:21:19.150 --> 00:21:20.710 you'll be able to handle your own kids. Why don't 376 00:21:20.730 --> 00:21:21.559 you do that? All right. 377 00:21:31.420 --> 00:21:33.859 You know, it doesn't take long for good news to 378 00:21:33.880 --> 00:21:37.440 get around. And the big news about new Rinseau is 379 00:21:37.480 --> 00:21:42.000 spreading like wildfire. New Rinseau with sodium actually gets white 380 00:21:42.059 --> 00:21:45.589 clothes whiter than new and washable colors brighter than new. 381 00:21:46.309 --> 00:21:48.829 And if that isn't an amazing fact, I don't know 382 00:21:48.869 --> 00:21:51.890 what is. Think of it. You tumble your wash into 383 00:21:51.930 --> 00:21:55.529 a tub of soapy rich Rinseau suds and you're sure 384 00:21:55.569 --> 00:21:58.630 to get a wash not just whiter, but whiter and 385 00:21:58.690 --> 00:22:02.549 brighter than brand new, with a new wonderful brilliance you've 386 00:22:02.609 --> 00:22:06.069 never seen before new Rinseau. And the Rinseau you get 387 00:22:06.109 --> 00:22:11.259 today at the store contains the astonishing sunlight ingredient, solium. 388 00:22:12.119 --> 00:22:14.980 It's such a new idea in washing clothes that you'll 389 00:22:15.019 --> 00:22:18.539 see this happen. You can dry your wash indoors on 390 00:22:18.579 --> 00:22:22.480 a rainy day, and Rinseau with solium puts sunshine in 391 00:22:22.519 --> 00:22:25.980 your wash. New Rinseau is safe for clothes and so 392 00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:30.000 kind to hand. Try Rinseau next wash day. Only new 393 00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:31.960 Rinseau contains sodium. 394 00:22:44.470 --> 00:22:46.700 Come here, Stonewall. I was over at your office looking 395 00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:47.000 for you. 396 00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:50.640 Yeah, well, I didn't go

in today, Kingfish. I was 397 00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:53.779 up late last night. I thought a funny thing happened 398 00:22:53.799 --> 00:22:54.160 to me. 399 00:22:54.759 --> 00:22:55.359 What was that? 400 00:22:55.720 --> 00:22:59.170 Well, I was listening to the police calls on the shortwave, 401 00:22:59.230 --> 00:23:02.089 and suddenly I hear them say, be on the lookout 402 00:23:02.130 --> 00:23:03.609 for Joe Benson. 403 00:23:03.630 --> 00:23:04.730 He wanted by. 404 00:23:04.569 --> 00:23:09.509 The police $ 500 reward for information leading to his arrest. 405 00:23:09.529 --> 00:23:09.799 Mm-hmm. 406 00:23:10.380 --> 00:23:13.299 So I realized that they was talking about a dear 407 00:23:13.400 --> 00:23:14.079 friend of mine. 408 00:23:14.339 --> 00:23:17.319 Yeah, well, what did you do, Stonewall? I rushed right 409 00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:19.039 to a telephone. I called him. 410 00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:22.640 I said, Joe, something is happening, and I is your friend. 411 00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:25.339 Meet me at my office at midnight. 412 00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:27.680 Oh, that's true friendship, all right. What happened? 413 00:23:28.059 --> 00:23:30.779 I was waiting there with two policemen. That double-crosser never 414 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:31.279 showed up. 415 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:31.589 Oh. 416 00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:38.579 Say, uh, uh, you know, uh, I love to get 417 00:23:38.619 --> 00:23:41.900 turned into, Stonewall. I was in trouble, uh, and I 418 00:23:41.940 --> 00:23:44.240 got to do something fast. What, what, what is the facts, 419 00:23:44.299 --> 00:23:46.359 can you say? Well, I done started a correspondence school, 420 00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:48.019 and I got handed a sign up for the course 421 00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:50.720 of $ 50. Now, he's so about the thing and wants 422 00:23:50.769 --> 00:23:52.700 his money back. I don't want to give it to him, though, 423 00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:53.190 you know me. 424 00:23:54.589 --> 00:23:55.529 This is easy. 425 00:23:56.309 --> 00:23:58.829 Just tell him the school went bankrupt and there ain't 426 00:23:58.849 --> 00:23:59.730 no money left. 427 00:24:00.049 --> 00:24:03.309 Say, that's right. Bankrupt. Say, I think I can get 428 00:24:03.349 --> 00:24:05.700 him to fall for that. Well, that wasn't a tough 429 00:24:05.720 --> 00:24:08.099 case for you, Snowball. No, Kingsley. 430 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:11.670 You know, speaking of bankruptcy, five years ago I went 431 00:24:11.750 --> 00:24:12.769 bankrupt myself. 432 00:24:12.869 --> 00:24:13.369 You did? 433 00:24:13.450 --> 00:24:16.470 My creditors dragged me into court to see if there 434 00:24:16.490 --> 00:24:17.410 was anything they could. 435 00:24:17.309 --> 00:24:19.890 Get out on me. Hmm, they did, huh? 436 00:24:19.970 --> 00:24:22.549 Yeah, but I proved to that judge that I didn't 437 00:24:22.589 --> 00:24:25.650 have no cash and no assets of no description. 438 00:24:26.210 --> 00:24:29.140 I proved

that I was an honest businessman. I was 439 00:24:29.220 --> 00:24:30.480 just stripped clean. 440 00:24:30.980 --> 00:24:34.450 I didn't have a worldly possession left. Boy, when that 441 00:24:34.529 --> 00:24:35.710 case was over, I. 442 00:24:35.549 --> 00:24:39.740 Was wore out. I sure needed a rest. Yeah, well, 443 00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:41.440 what in the world did you do, Stonewall? I went 444 00:24:41.460 --> 00:24:56.549 for a cruise on my yacht. Oh. Look at that 445 00:24:56.630 --> 00:25:00.160 kingfish sleeping with his head on the desk. Kingfish, wake up. 446 00:25:00.259 --> 00:25:02.740 I want to talk to you. I ain't asleep, Brother Ender. 447 00:25:02.779 --> 00:25:05.440 I'm just sitting here at my desk grieving. I just 448 00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:09.440 heard some horrible news, Ender. What kind of horrible news? Ender, 449 00:25:09.549 --> 00:25:12.829 your old alma mater, the Worldwide A1 Correspondence School, has 450 00:25:12.849 --> 00:25:17.230 gone bankrupt. Holy smoke. You mean I lose my money? Yeah, well, 451 00:25:17.250 --> 00:25:20.390 you don't lose but $ 50. Think of our president of 452 00:25:20.410 --> 00:25:24.930 the school, Mr. Worldwide. He loses everything. Well, what is 453 00:25:24.950 --> 00:25:27.019 he going to do about it? Well, Andy, when he 454 00:25:27.099 --> 00:25:30.009 realized that he was bankrupt, he'd done just about what 455 00:25:30.049 --> 00:25:31.910 you would expect any big man like that to do. 456 00:25:32.170 --> 00:25:34.190 What was that? Well, he was in his office at 457 00:25:34.230 --> 00:25:38.450 the time. He went over to the window, he looked down, and... Well, Andy, 458 00:25:38.829 --> 00:25:43.369 he dived out. Oh, me, that's awful. Was he killed? No, Andy, 459 00:25:43.390 --> 00:25:45.130 as lucky as office was on the ground floor, he 460 00:25:45.170 --> 00:25:46.519 just got a knot on the top of his head. 461 00:25:46.539 --> 00:25:49.599 That's all he got. Well, I demand that I see 462 00:25:49.640 --> 00:25:51.720 the president of this company. Well, too late, Andy. The 463 00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:53.900 last anybody to see the Mr. Worldwide, he was staggering 464 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:56.750 toward a plan for Mexico. Yeah, well, why did this Mr. 465 00:25:56.890 --> 00:25:59.529 Worldwide run away to Mexico now? Well, Andy, I was 466 00:25:59.569 --> 00:26:01.390 ashamed to tell you, but he's been dipping into the 467 00:26:01.450 --> 00:26:04.619 assets of the school. And when he got on the plane, 468 00:26:04.700 --> 00:26:06.970 he was carrying a black bag. Police is trying to 469 00:26:07.009 --> 00:26:09.509 catch him now. In financial terms, Andy, it's the most 470 00:26:09.549 --> 00:26:12.490 peculiar situation that's ever happened. What do you mean? Well, 471 00:26:12.529 --> 00:26:15.309 the assets are frozen and Mr. Worldwide is hot. Well, 472 00:26:17.509 --> 00:26:19.710 look here. What is the chances of getting him back 473 00:26:19.779 --> 00:26:22.400

here and bringing him to justice? Oh, not too good, Andy. 474 00:26:22.700 --> 00:26:24.779 I just heard that when he got below the border... 475 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:27.519 He got himself a smart Mexican lawyer, took the thing 476 00:26:27.539 --> 00:26:29.349 to the Supreme Enchilada Court, and had her rid of 477 00:26:29.369 --> 00:26:31.970 Hapus Concona there. Well, there ain't nothing he can do 478 00:26:31.990 --> 00:26:34.509 about it, that's all. Yeah, that's right. That Mexican law 479 00:26:34.529 --> 00:26:35.369 is pretty tricky, all right. 480 00:26:35.390 --> 00:26:37.900 Yeah, it's hot, too, down there, you know. But the 481 00:26:37.940 --> 00:26:39.480 only thing I want to know is, how am I 482 00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:41.049 going to get my $ 50 out of this? 483 00:26:41.190 --> 00:26:43.509 Well, frankly, I don't know, Andy. I've just been going 484 00:26:43.549 --> 00:26:45.809 over the ledger here now. The liabilities of the school 485 00:26:45.829 --> 00:26:48.670 amount to $ 425, 000. $ 425, 000? Yeah. What is the asset? Well, 486 00:26:48.829 --> 00:26:53.210 I've got it right here on my desk. Three pencils 487 00:26:53.269 --> 00:26:55.410 and a eraser and a pad of application blanks entitled, 488 00:26:55.430 --> 00:26:58.880 Why You Should Go to Worldwide School. Yeah, just right here. Listen, Kingfish, 489 00:26:58.940 --> 00:27:00.599 I've got enough of this kind of thing. I'm going 490 00:27:00.619 --> 00:27:03.259 to take this thing to court and sue somebody. Well, now, 491 00:27:03.299 --> 00:27:06.019 take it easy here, Andy. Let's not get too sewer here. 492 00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:06.119 Yeah. 493 00:27:07.799 --> 00:27:10.339 Tell you what I'll do. To satisfy the $ 50 debt, 494 00:27:10.859 --> 00:27:13.460 I'll give you the school, goodwill, and all. Oh, you're 495 00:27:13.480 --> 00:27:16.259 going to give me the whole school, huh? Yeah. Well, now, 496 00:27:16.279 --> 00:27:18.920 that's better. I guess that's better than nothing, all right. Here, Andy, 497 00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:21.279 the school is yours. Here, take all these assets. Come 498 00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:22.420 on over here and sit in the chair. 499 00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:22.700 Yeah. 500 00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:27.059 Andy, you're now the president of the Worldwide A1 Correspondent School. Oh, boy, yeah. 501 00:27:27.099 --> 00:27:29.859 This feels pretty good, all right. Just think, Andy, four 502 00:27:29.880 --> 00:27:32.559 days ago, you started here as an ignorant, stupid scholar. 503 00:27:33.710 --> 00:27:39.230 Now you is president of the whole school. You know, Andy, 504 00:27:39.890 --> 00:27:51.279 there certainly is a land of opportunity, Andy boy. Uh, honey, 505 00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:51.900 is you home? 506 00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:54.609 Oh, George, I'm so glad you're here. I called you 507 00:27:54.630 --> 00:27:55.410 at the lodge hall. 508 00:27:55.470 --> 00:27:57.109 Yeah, well, I ain't been hanging around there for the 509 00:27:57.130 --> 00:27:58.910 last couple of days. You see, I pulled a pretty 510 00:27:58.950 --> 00:28:00.630 good deal this week, honey, and I just can't take 511 00:28:00.650 --> 00:28:02.349 it easy, you know. 512 00:28:03.369 --> 00:28:05.529 Well, George, I got some good news for you. 513 00:28:05.539 --> 00:28:06.259 Yeah, what's that, honey? 514 00:28:06.779 --> 00:28:08.519 You remember I talk about the reason that you could 515 00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:10.630 never get a good job. Well, you ain't going to 516 00:28:10.650 --> 00:28:11.710 have that trouble no more. 517 00:28:11.809 --> 00:28:12.329 What do you mean? 518 00:28:12.769 --> 00:28:15.210 I made arrangements to take care of your education. Andy 519 00:28:15.309 --> 00:28:17.859 dropped in today, and I bought you a coat for 520 00:28:17.859 --> 00:28:19.400 $ 75 in the worldwide correspondence. 521 00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:35.150 Thank you. Andy, before we go, there's one thing we 522 00:28:35.190 --> 00:28:37.190 ought to do. Yeah, what's that? Well, we got to 523 00:28:37.230 --> 00:28:40.049 tell everybody that if they listen good to our announcer, Mr. Lake, 524 00:28:40.430 --> 00:28:43.069 and if they try Rinse-O with sodium, like he tells 525 00:28:43.109 --> 00:28:45.799 them to, they ain't going to regret it. Folks, when 526 00:28:45.839 --> 00:28:48.690 you go down to your store, be sure and get Rinse-O. 527 00:28:49.079 --> 00:28:49.839 Thank you, Amos. 528 00:28:50.190 --> 00:28:53.859 And remember, you needn't say Rinse-O with sodium because all 529 00:28:53.900 --> 00:28:57.660 the Rinse-O you buy today contains sodium. New Rinse-O with 530 00:28:57.720 --> 00:29:01.619 sodium gets white clothes not just whiter, but whiter than new, 531 00:29:01.700 --> 00:29:05.859 and washable colors Brighter than brand new. Rinse-O is safe 532 00:29:05.900 --> 00:29:09.910 for clothes so kind to hands. More women use Rinse-O 533 00:29:10.430 --> 00:29:12.450 than any other wash day soap in the world. 534 00:29:13.990 --> 00:29:16.170 Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very good clue for 535 00:29:16.210 --> 00:29:18.789 those of you who are interested in the CBS Saturday 536 00:29:18.849 --> 00:29:21.890 night program, Sing It Again. Here's the clue for the 537 00:29:21.930 --> 00:29:26.279 Phantom Voice and the Big Jackpot. He made a fortune 538 00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:30.259 in his time by signing on the dotted line. Hear 539 00:29:30.299 --> 00:29:33.420 that again, folks. He made a fortune in his time 540 00:29:33.599 --> 00:29:37.059 by signing on the dotted line. Good luck. Good night, folks. 541 00:29:37.259 --> 00:29:38.240 See you next Sunday. 542 00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:49.980 Be sure to be with us next Sunday at the 543 00:29:50.019 --> 00:29:52.599 same time when Lever Brothers Company, the makers of New 544 00:29:52.619 --> 00:29:55.759 Rinseau with Solium, will again present the Amos and Andy Show. 545 00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:58.440 Until then, good night to all of you

from all 546 00:29:58.460 --> 00:29:58.680 of us. 547 00:30:07.569 --> 00:30:11.069 Amazing? Yes, but doctors have proved it. Lifebuoy health soap 548 00:30:11.109 --> 00:30:14.059 in your daily bath gets skin cleaner. Stops B.O. as 549 00:30:14.170 --> 00:30:17.160 no other eating soap can. Get Lifebuoy right away. 550 00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:22.940 Be sure and listen to the Amos and Andy show 551 00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:26.470 at the same time next Sunday. Stay tuned now for 552 00:30:26.509 --> 00:30:29.119 the adventures of Sam Spade, which follows immediately over many 553 00:30:29.130 --> 00:30:32.299 of these stations. This is CBS, where 99 million people 554 00:30:32.339 --> 00:30:33.160 gather every week. 555 00:30:33.420 --> 00:30:40.079 The Columbia Broadcasting System. 556 00:30:40.559 --> 00:30:45.480 Migraine affects half a million people in Ireland. Sumatran Relief 557 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:50.220 50 milligram tablets containing Sumatriptan is now available over the 558 00:30:50.269 --> 00:30:54.650 counter from your pharmacist. If you've been previously diagnosed with migraines. 559 00:30:55.500 --> 00:30:59.259 Unlike painkillers, Sumatriptan acts by having an effect on a 560 00:30:59.309 --> 00:31:03.329 specific receptor in the brain, relieving the intensity of migraine. 561 00:31:04.089 --> 00:31:08.250 Ask your pharmacist about Sumatran Relief. Always read the leaflet. 562 00:31:10.069 --> 00:31:12.950 The car is beautiful. Where did you end up going 563 00:31:12.990 --> 00:31:13.289 for it? 564 00:31:13.549 --> 00:31:16.400 This exclusive place that Dad has connections with. They have 565 00:31:16.440 --> 00:31:18.640 more cars for more dealerships than like anywhere else. 566 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:20.140 You have to put me in touch. 567 00:31:20.180 --> 00:31:20.720 What's it called? 568 00:31:21.079 --> 00:31:21.400 It's Dune ADL. 569 00:31:21.420 --> 00:31:21.599 Where? 570 00:31:21.619 --> 00:31:27.240 Dune ADL. Dunediel? There's an accent on the E. 571 00:31:29.119 --> 00:31:29.559 Do you mean. 572 00:31:29.579 --> 00:31:30.920 Yes, I got it on Dundiel Cars. 573 00:31:31.180 --> 00:31:31.440 Lift? 574 00:31:31.900 --> 00:31:32.180 Please. 575 00:31:32.730 --> 00:31:33.789 You going past Kimmage? 576 00:31:34.150 --> 00:31:34.809 Oh, Kimmage! 577 00:31:35.450 --> 00:31:35.589 No. 578 00:31:36.589 --> 00:31:39.410 Dundiel Cars. You couldn't possibly go anywhere else. 579 00:31:40.079 --> 00:31:42.900 Is your job at risk to AI? Some careers can't 580 00:31:42.940 --> 00:31:46.390 be replaced by AI. Human touch, helping people feel better. 581 00:31:46.529 --> 00:31:50.289 Become a neuromuscular therapist at NTC and develop the hands-on 582 00:31:50.309 --> 00:31:53.589 skills to assess and treat chronic pain and injury. With 583 00:31:53.650 --> 00:31:57.619 courses starting soon in Waterford, Dublin, Galway and Cork, your 584 00:31:57.650 --> 00:32:00.519 new career could be closer than you think. Guarantee your 585 00:32:00.579 --> 00:32:05.160 future with a career AI can't replace. Visit NTC.ie. 586 00:32:05.539 --> 00:32:06.259 NTC. 587 00:32:06.579 --> 00:32:07.519 See who you can be.