Alexandra Harbushka 00:00
Be embarrassed of your first piece of content. And if you're not embarrassed by it, then you've waited too long. Don't wait five years to perfect it. Right? So put it out, do it. And you will learn as you're going.
Gloria Chou 00:44
Hey, friends, I'm Gloria Chou, small business PR expert, award winning pitch writer and your unofficial hype woman. Nothing makes me happier than seeing people get the recognition they deserve. And that starts with feeling more confident to go bigger with your message. So on this podcast,f I will share with you the untraditional, yet proven strategies for PR marketing and creating more opportunity in your business. If you are ready to take control of your narrative and be your most unapologetic and confident self, you're in the right place. This is the Small Business PR Podcast.
Gloria Chou 01:17
All right, everyone, I'm so excited today. Today's episode is very different from what we usually cover on this. And you'll see from the title. The reason why I think it's so important for our guest to come on is because there's so many small business owners who are listening to this episode right now who are wondering, 'Who am I to share my story? Who am I to take the world stage and get featured?' Well, if you need any confirmation from the universe that now is the time for you to pitch, this is it. So I actually met our guests today, Alexandra Harbushka at Podfest Orlando. I literally went to a panel and on this stage, in front of everybody revealed that she has general genital herpes and has built an entire community around telling her story. She is a podcast host of Life with Herpes. She has an entire community, mailing list, so many people that are actively engaged with her. And from her telling her story bravely, she is able to inspire other people. So thank you so much for coming on the show!
Alexandra Harbushka 02:15
Thank you, Gloria! I'm so excited and I love when you like reached out to me at Podfest to talk about this. So, I'm looking forward to our conversations here.
Gloria Chou 02:25
I will say you're the only person to be on this podcast that's not a journalist or one of my PR students.
Alexandra Harbushka 02:32
Okay. Let's do it.
Gloria Chou 02:35
So yeah, and when I heard your story of saying that you basically got on stage. And the first thing you said within five minutes was your diagnosis. And I was like, how does this relate to podcasting? Or how does this relate to building our business? And it resonates so profoundly within me that I think behind every business owner is a self-doubt, self- questioning. So that's what we're going to talk about today.
Alexandra Harbushka 02:58
Yeah, and there was such a period of time, I would say, really, until probably the 2000s, that we really separated ourselves from our personal life, and who we put out onstage or who we put out as professional. I mean, just look at even cellphones, right? When I first got my first business card, I didn't put my cell phone number on it. And that was in 2005. Like, ooh, I don't want to get my personal cellphone. So just look at how things have changed. Now, you would never use an office phone. You would give always your personal cellphone. Like that's just, there's always. So even that transition to, we have a personal story and doesn't mean I'm obviously talking about herpes, and it doesn't mean that we have to talk about our deepest, darkest, most vulnerable experience, but it allows us if we kind of lead with that compassion and that humility, and know that someone else has a story, just like it. It allows us to get more intimate and vulnerable with our tribe with our community.
Gloria Chou 04:06
So what you are sharing with the world is something that is so stigmatized. A lot of people find it embarrassing. A lot of people feel like is the end of the world. How did you decide to not only live with that, but get over that challenge and actually spread your message, get onto stages, get on to podcast and leading with this message?
Alexandra Harbushka 04:27
Well, so I launched a podcast in 2015. And it was called Sex, Money & Food. And I was interviewing other people. I was never opening up about my issues and never opening up about what was near and dear and maybe like sacred to my heart. I was too afraid to bring that out. And it was 2017, I was asked to speak at Podfest and so I don't remember what the topic really was. And so I prepared this whole thing on I got into financial debt at like 25. So I prepared this whole thing and I showed it to my husband, who was then my boyfriend. He's like, no offense, but everyone gets into debt at 25. Like, you know, it's just like, it wasn't like yet millions of dollars. You had some years, some credit card debt. You were 25. It's pretty normal. And that wasn't that deep of a story. He's like, 'I think you should share your story about having herpes.' And I was like, what you want? Like, what? And then I was like, Well, how is that going to impact you professionally? And how is that going to impact me? And he's like, it's you. It's your story. It's who you are. And you're, you're passionate about it, and you're passionate about helping people. So I got on stage at Podfest 2017 and said it, and that was the first time I've ever said it publicly. It was right kind of when streaming, like you could stream on Facebook, like that was still pretty new. And so it was streamed, and it went out. And I was like, Okay, here we are. It was terrifying. But, I realized a lot of things that happen when you tell your story. It allows people connect, and they go, 'Oh, wow, she's human, or he's human,' or they 'She has vulnerabilities or 'Wow, she has something she's dealing with, too.' Other also people come up to you and say, 'Oh, I have it.' 'I have this, too.' Or three, they go, I don't have your situation, but I have my own story. And I never realized that someone else has my similar story and there's people dealing with that. So a lot of times we try to put these walls up to make us this, like, you know, I got my life in order. Yeah, I mean, there's times when you need to present yourself, of course. You don't want to necessarily show up as a victim. But we need to remember that, hey, people are going through their own thing. And I've made my business around this. However, you don't have to make your business around your vulnerability or your your fear.
Gloria Chou 07:08
Yeah, but I will say that when you do, you attract way more 'Hell, yes!' people, whether they're clients, supporters, and I think so many people are still living in that phase where they just want to be liked by everyone. But just from building my business and you from building your massive community, it's not about getting wishy-washy people who are like, okay, like you want people to make a strong decision. 'Hell, yes. I'm in her community,' or 'hell, no, she's not for me.' Right? I think so many of you are afraid of that.
Alexandra Harbushka 07:37
Yeah. And on that, you're right. So I mean, people are afraid. I want to, like everybody, I want to like be a carebear. And everybody loves me, right. One of the things that I was potentially insecure about or nervous about was partnering with people in my own area. So there's other people that are now talking about herpes and I was nervous. I'm like, well, I don't know if I necessarily want to partner with them. because my people go to their tribe, and they leave my tribe. And what we have to realize is if that person is meant to find someone else, they're going to find that person. If you can speed that process up for them, and get them to the right person, then that's going to support them. And in return, it supports you vice versa, whoever you're partnering with, they're going to have people as well, that would be better suited for you. If you can speed that up and and ultimately lead with, with the end result as the client not so much. Oh, I don't know, well, I don't want to share what I have. Because they might go somewhere else. You're right, they might, but if they weren't going to go, they're eventually gonna go. So you might as well speed that up and get again, get your nuclear tribe.
Gloria Chou 08:54
Yeah. 100%. So you've given us some big things to think about in terms of telling things that we're not comfortable with. Obviously, it doesn't have to be something as terrifying. It could be just 'I'm afraid to be seen in media, because I don't know who's going to see. I'm afraid people from my high school are going to think that I'm self promoting.' So let's just dial it back a little bit. How can you encourage the people who are just even afraid to maybe post on Instagram or share anything? Like how can you how can people get started?
Alexandra Harbushka 09:23
I was just thinking too like podcasting. A lot of times people do podcasts because you don't have to show your face. Right, you can just kind of like 'Oh, I'm just gonna talk and who knows? Who knows what's gonna happen and like you said, share on Instagram? I would say you need to go back to your 'Why.' Why am I doing this and why is it important for me? Why am I an entrepreneur or why do I want to share my story or why am I in business? And if you go back to your why, and really understand your 'why' of hey, this support someone, or hey, this is going to change someone's life or this message, somebody really needs to hear because I was in this situation before. And if I would have heard this message five years ago, wow. And so whatever your reason, whatever your why is, if you go back to that, and lead with that one person, I picked one person that I was talking to, not 1000 people, not the masses. I picked one. If you go back to that one person you go, would that change that person's life? Yes or no? And that's how you do it. As far as posting on Instagram, you're like, Oh, well, what about my friends? Like, I have that too. I went to a really small high school or somebody in my graduating class, I still have that, like, Oh, what is someone's gonna say that I have herpes, you know, and I go back to, well, that person might have it to that person might secretly need to hear my conversation. Maybe you post on a different account, maybe you don't use your Alexandra Harbushka that post pictures of my son's third birthday on Friday, but maybe I created another account that's just dedicated to this. One of the things that we have this fear of like, again, you're going to be on a podcast? Are you going to launch you're going to launch your own podcast? Are you going to launch your own YouTube channel? Are you going to launch this? Whatever you're gonna launch, chances are like I just created this new, I have a new business and I created a new Instagram for that. I now have like, 11 followers, and it's like you think I'm putting all this energy, like 11 people have seen it. You know, like, okay, you're gonna build and you're gonna build with your new community that you create, and those people are gonna cheer you on. You're right. Those people from high school or college or family might be like, 'Okay, why is she posting about this on like, you know, right, maybe create something else and just build that?
Gloria Chou 09:27
Yeah. And those people from high school are not going to buy from you. They're not your customers. And I always think about our attention as entrepreneurs as it's kind of like a bucket of water. And if you have so many holes in it, it's pouring in all different directions, but the plant that really needs to be fed with water never really gets that powerful stream, right? So you're gonna have haters, no matter what, they're going to judge you for doing nothing. They're gonna judge you for doing something, might as well direct our attention into really building what we want, right? What is your ethos? Or what is your like, mindset hack around haters? Because I'm sure when you told people that you had genital herpes, there was a lot of judgment about your behaviors, and how did you even deal with that?
Alexandra Harbushka 12:28
So for me myself, so yeah, with herpes, there's a lot that goes with it, because there's like, 'Oh, well, she obviously was promiscuous. Oh, she obviously she slept with, or like, all those things.' And I had removed myself from the stigma. So I had broken down the stigma myself first, and detached myself from it. And so it no longer affected me. Does it affect me every now and then? I will say if it if people attack my family, then yes. If they attack my husband or my son, on social, yeah, I get Mama Bear. And I get like, don't go there. But you attacking me, I just I look at it as like, well, if you're seeing something in me that affects you. And it's a mirror and I'm triggering something in you is what it is. So I'm not really the issue. I'm just bringing your trigger to your forefront. So again, I go back to my why. Why am I doing this? Why am I talking about it? Um, yeah, I just I think if you detach if you've worked through your own story, and you've digested it, and you're at the point of like, wow, this story someone needs to hear again, they're not necessarily attacking you. They're attacking. It's they're attacking themselves.
Gloria Chou 13:52
Yeah, exactly, exactly. I think there's just so much noise in the universe where somebody sent me a message after they watched my PR Masterclass, and they said, all of my life, I felt like I had nothing to say, until now. And you've given me the motivation to say that I do have something to say. And I think there's this narrative that holds us back. I don't know if it's patriarchy. If it's just all forms of oppression, that tells us that someone else always says it better. Or someone else always does it better. And we have to kind of wait until we're ready.
Alexandra Harbushka 14:21
Right, potentially, I think everybody has this like, I'm like, I don't know, should I do it? Should I not? I think we all have our own little insecurities. And it's just a matter of like, now we're in this amazing time, where if you want to tell your story, you can literally do it for free. Like you just pick up your phone, press 'record,' and like post and you can do it like there was no... Before it was like 'Okay, I gotta go here and I gotta go here and then I gotta get this and how do I gotta get? How do I get on the news or how do I share? Am I gonna get a town hall meeting or whatever it was? Now you can just go, yeah, but we still create those little insecurities. I talked a lot about fear in my presentation at Podfest. And fear is something that we create in our mind. It can be real or imagined. And fear is something that can be really, really helpful if it's life or death. Oh, my gosh, there is a wolf. I'm on a walk, and there's a wolf. Okay, that's legit. That's a legit fear. But I'm on a walk. And I'm potentially scared of a wolf showing up. But I've never ever seen a wolf. And so therefore, I'm not going to go on the walk. That's an imagined fear. And that imagined fear can keep us from from presenting, or going on a walk, for example. And so what happens in our nervous system is we go into fight or flight so we can create these fears in our mind. Oh, I can't open up. I can't go on a podcast. I can't go on social media. I can't do PR. I can't share my story. Because I have this imagined fear of something happening to me and I go into fight or flight. And I just freeze and I don't do anything. And what that does is it takes the blood out of our brains, and it pumps it into our legs so that we can run faster. So there really is a wolf. You can run faster, that's great. But you're being but being like an imaginary fear of presenting or opening up about your story doesn't help your brain because you're taking all the blood from your brain to your legs. How does that...You can't run away from podcasts like it doesn't. Anyway, so we have to, when we understand what's happening physically in our body, we go, oh, this is an imagined fear that I'm creating. And if I can start to digest that, that's gonna help. Like I said, I broke down the stigma of people with herpes acted in certain behaviors. And I was like, well, that's not who I am. So why am I identifying? Or why am I putting myself in a bucket and walking around with shame that I never had? Now that I have herpes, I am shameful. You know what I mean? So you kind of have to digest it and pull it apart and realize like, Whoa, I just created this whole thing in my mind.
Gloria Chou 17:24
Yep. And you know what your worst fear you can change your perspective. And be like, this is actually not my fear anymore. This is my sword. This is my site. This is how I'm really going to show up in the world. I love what you said about tapping into our why. I was talking to someone who makes like cupcakes, or she makes these beautiful cupcakes, amazing designs. And she's like, I don't feel like I have anything to say. I don't feel. I know why I'm doing this, like with PR. I just feel like I make cupcakes. And I'm like, when was the last time you made that three-year old kid so happy, right because you went to his birthday? Or when did you make that mom who just lost a baby and now she has a rainbow baby and you were there for her baby shower and she cried. Like, think about your why. And that's what I love about what you said is, it doesn't have to be a life changing diagnosis, like herpes. It could be making cupcakes or candles. Right? Yeah. And I want to shift gears now just talking about spreading your message on a bigger platform, right? You have your own podcast. You've been on so many podcasts. How do you start the process of even pitching yourself for podcasts? Because this is kind of what I teach as like do's and don'ts. So can you walk us through? Like, how do you even get your mindset to the point where it's like, 'I'm gonna pitch and it's not about a normal, like business pitch that I get, but it's gonna be about my herpes story.'
Alexandra Harbushka 18:40
So for me, it was specifically breaking it down into what categories does my podcast touch and not only that, and who do I want to touch? So do I want to touch the mommy groups, that there's mommies and they maybe want to have a baby? Maybe they don't have a baby and are trying to get pregnant? Or maybe they already have a child and they're worried about 'oh my gosh, am I going to transmit this to my child?' So I tried to figure out little niches that were not just like the obvious sex podcast, right? It's like, okay, how can I break my niche down into other smaller niches, again, to tell my message, and then I would spend some time finding the other podcast hosts that I resonated with? Is it a podcast I would listen to? Is it a message that I feel it's going to be well received? So for me again, talking about herpes, I can talk about I can go on business podcasts. I can talk about branding. I can talk about messaging. I can talk about the fear of your message. I can go on any health podcast. I can talk about understanding a diagnosis. I also am faith-based so I can go on any faith-based podcast so I just looked at how can my niche be broken down into smaller niches, not just the obvious, like a sex podcast. So I think for anybody that is looking to be on podcasts, we can use the cupcake one, for example, again, that would be great. You can look at again, mommy podcasts. You can look at creating birthday parties. You can look at branding. You can talk about passions. You can do like all these other niches. And again, if you have a message that you want to share and a piece of information people can go home with something. What can they go home with? That's where you want to lead.
Gloria Chou 20:35
Yeah, so let's just go through, let's say you're pitching for a fear podcast, right? And it's kind of a general entrepreneur podcast, and maybe talks about business and fear mindset. How do you... what is the structure of the pitch that you actually send, like subject line? Like, how long is the follow-up etiquette?
Alexandra Harbushka 20:54
So you definitely need to listen to the podcast. You need to listen to more than five minutes of it. You need to listen to it. I like to research the person that did go on social media. I like to just see who the person is and see also, do they have a criteria for them? Do they say like, oh, I want my... send it here or something? You know, how do they want they want to DM? What do they want? If they don't have any outline, then it's an email. And it's just letting them know, like, I'd like to be a guest on your podcast, or straight to the point. And then you know, 'Hi,' introduce yourself. I let them know that I have enjoyed listening to this episode. In that episode, I feel like my message could resonate. This is something I'd be interested in talking about, you know, fear. This is something I personally had to get over. I understand that your audience may have something around fear. This is a specific podcast. And then I send them a one sheet. So I have a one sheet that is all broken down on potential questions. You could ask me, my bio, who I am, links to my social. They can check me out. And then I always follow up with, if you'd like to talk to me, because my topic is pretty shocking. And so some people want to see me, and they want to know what I'm about. And so hey, if you want to set up a 15 minute phone call, that's great as well. So that's kind of the pitch goes. And some people are like, nope. The people that are very receptive to it. That's who I want to be with. That's awesome, which actually is okay. It's okay.
Gloria Chou 22:32
Exactly. The point is to make a strong decision, not just wishy- washy, we want either hell yes or hell no. Right. How have you leveraged the podcast appearances you've been on for your own visibility for your impact for your marketing?
Alexandra Harbushka 22:45
So definitely something that I like to do is how do I like you said amplify what I'm doing. So right now, we're recording this, I also have behind the scenes. So that's, we have one piece of media that's being recorded right now, why not take it and do multiple pieces of media. In the same time, I have a videographer cut up, I'm gonna do behind the scenes. I also have a whole page on my website that has all the podcasts listed that I have been on. I have an email that goes out to my email list. So it goes out every Friday. And if a podcast releases that Friday it's on that I have a community. That's a paid community. I have the information go out. I send a follow up email to the host that links every piece of social media content that went out so that that post can go either reuse it for his or her own media, or go, wow, that view that piece of content got 1000 views. Wow, that's awesome! Or that piece, Oh, wow. I'd like to snap that and use that as well. So I just try to reuse it in any way. And then I also reschedule it through my scheduling software to be promoted a year later. Like, Hey, did you know I was on XYZ podcast. We talked about. So it just gets repurposed and repurposed. And that's the power of social media. We have that. We put all this emphasis again. I spoke at Podfest. It's the 80-20. We, a lot of times put 80% into the one interview. But really, you should be putting 80% into the post. It's all in the post. It's how do we now use this one piece of content that we've created in 500 different ways, and that's really I think, where the power is because you never know when someone's gonna hear it. Someone could hear our interview today in 2027.
Gloria Chou 24:39
Yeah, exactly. And that's why I say more than social media which you don't own. It's not searchable. I love getting on podcast and guest podcasting because that is SEO that is backlinks. That is really what we're focusing on now, especially with social media algorithm deciding one day they like us or they don't like us. So I love what you said about if you want to work smarter, not harder. Just getting onto one podcast that is six, seve, ten, twenty different ways to leverage that content and SEO. What are some of the amazing opportunities that you have received from guests podcasting and just pitching yourself?
Alexandra Harbushka 25:12
I would say guest podcasting and pitching. I mean, I've been able to speak at conferences. You definitely have a repository of like 'here, this is what I've done,' You've got positive information. I've been featured in The New York Post. I've been featured in some major publications just because I've leverage podcasting and other social media. And when people research, they may have found me on a podcast, and then they go research and go, 'Whoa, she has all this going on behind the scenes. Okay, this is legit.' So it's not just one thing. It's multiple things.
Gloria Chou 25:51
I love that. So is there anything you want to say to people who are listening who are still like hesitating and be like maybe this year will be the year that I pitched myself? How can we give them that cheer from afar, get them started?
Alexandra Harbushka 26:04
I would say do it. When I first started podcasting. After I went to, I actually hosted this event, I had no idea what a podcast was. It was in 2015. It was with John Lee Dumas, was the speaker. It was Michael Stelzner, who hosts or puts on social media marketing around San Diego, and Mari Smith, who is like the Facebook guru. And it was these three people, I had no idea who they were. And they all said: do it and start now and be embarrassed of your first piece of content. And if you're not embarrassed by it, then you've waited too long. And I go back and look at things and I'm like, ooh, that critic. You should feel cringe about what you've put out five years ago. Don't wait five years to perfect it. Right? So put it out, do it. And you will learn as you're going. Like I mentioned, I completely started a whole different business. And I've been doing all of like, the type of content I've been creating with Life with Herpes is all just knowledge base, right? It's knowledge base. It's telling my personal story. It's not a product. It's on a product base, and I had to relearn how to sell a product, how to sell like one. I said, I have a jewelry business. So how do I sell a piece of jewelry? And how do I create a post that's like, five words, not a paragraph, right. And I go back and look at some of the things I created. I'm like that's bad, like, but I'm learning as I go. So you learn as you go. And that's okay. And a lot of times, if you're just starting, like I mentioned, I had like 11 followers on Instagram, nobody really cares. At this point, they're gonna grow with you, and you're gonna grow together. So I would say if you're not embarrassed by your first piece of content, or your what you're doing, then then you're waiting too long.
Gloria Chou 27:59
I love that! I always say with my PR students, we just got to get our hundred shitty drafts out the door. And then we become so good at writing, which is, to me a $10,000 an hour skill, not just social media, which is like a $10 an hour task. You're learning these skills for life. You're learning how to communicate. You're learning how to draw people into your world. That is absolutely priceless. And that will serve you in any occasion whether it's written, verbal communication, visual, or, or in person. Right.
Alexandra Harbushka 28:29
All right. Just do it. And don't get caught up in the like, 'oh my gosh, when I'm going to start?' Should I go to this person or that person? Or should I be on a podcastor do I YouTube? Should I do Pinterest? Should I do like just start? Just start. Just pick one and start.
Gloria Chou 28:49
Exactly. You don't even need a podcasting mic. I mean, I'm still, I'm still using my webcam. And we're we've been podcasting for a whole year. So it doesn't just got to start. I love what you said about that. It's all about mindset. And I think the work that you've done with the life-changing diagnosis you had was really to dig deep and really have that mental fitness. And now you're I think at the core of what you're doing is you're really helping people with a mindset. So thank you so much for doing the work that you do.
Alexandra Harbushka 29:17
You're welcome. And you'll find whatever you like minus a herpes diagnosis that really held me back right, and everybody has their own thing. Whether it's drug addiction, whether it's abuse, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Is if if now I forgot I was gonna say I like totally got sidetracked. If if No, I totally forgot to say
Gloria Chou 29:42
that's okay. Let me
Alexandra Harbushka 29:43
come back to me kind of come back to that like really went out. I don't know what are excited. So excited.
Gloria Chou 29:51
Yeah. So how can people find you and connect with you whether it's about herpes or sharing your story bravely, even if you're terrified or any of the things,
Alexandra Harbushka 30:01
You can find me Life with Herpes. And that's where I'm at. So lifewithherpes.com If you do have herpes, I do have a free download. It is outbreakremedies.com. And you can go there. outbreakremedies.com It's free. It's like a 12-page download that will walk you through it. And if you want to find any content about if you want to reach out to me, if I have any contact and go life with herpes.
Gloria Chou 30:33
Awesome! thank you so much for being on the show and for telling us that we have we all have stories within us, no matter where we are. And we need to tell it even if it means impacting that one person. It's worth it. You're changing lives.
Alexandra Harbushka 30:45
I know what I was gonna say. We all have that one thing that stops us and we find out as we work through it. The issue was already there. So what I mean by that? People will say I have herpes. I now I can't date. I have date. I can't date because I now have herpes. And they find out 'Wow, that belief was there before herpes.' So right? The belief was there before herpes. it wasn't. It was the herpes diagnosis that brought it to the forefront. So for any of our whatever your 911 crisis is, we create a scapegoat around it. I can't do PR because this. I can't go on a podcast because of that. Well, that issue was already there. And we're just using, in my case, the herpes diagnosis as the scapegoat for it. So when you start to realize that and you go, wow, I've been giving this thing so much power in my life. That's when you start to break down the barriers and are able then to go out and beyond do PR, you're able to share your story.
Gloria Chou 31:51
Yeah, it's all about how you look at things. When you look at things differently. Everything shifts, right. You can say, well, I have this diagnosis, I will never be successful. I will never be seen you know, but then you're like what, what if I chose to look at it differently? And now everything is an opportunity for you right? Before everything was a dead end. Right. Thank you so much.
Alexandra Harbushka 31:51
Thank you, Gloria.
Gloria Chou 32:14
Hey, small business hero. Did you know that you can get featured for free on outlets like Forbes, The New York Times, Marie Claire, Pop Sugar and so many more, even if you're not yet launched, or if you don't have any connection? That's right. That's why I invite you to watch my PR Secrets masterclass, where I reveal the exact methods 1000s of bootstrapping small businesses use to hack their own PR and go from unknown to being a credible and sought after industry expert. Now if you want to land your first press feature, get them a podcast, secure a VIP speaking gig or just reach out to that very intimidating editor. This class will show you exactly how to do it. Register now at gloriachoupr.com/masterclass. That's Gloria Chou c-h-o-u pr.com/masterclass. So you can get featured in 30 days without spending a penny on ads or agencies. Best of all, this is completely free. So get in there and let's get you featured.
Be embarrassed of your first piece of content. And if you're not embarrassed by it, then you've waited too long. Don't wait five years to perfect it. Right? So put it out, do it. And you will learn as you're going.
Gloria Chou 00:44
Hey, friends, I'm Gloria Chou, small business PR expert, award winning pitch writer and your unofficial hype woman. Nothing makes me happier than seeing people get the recognition they deserve. And that starts with feeling more confident to go bigger with your message. So on this podcast,f I will share with you the untraditional, yet proven strategies for PR marketing and creating more opportunity in your business. If you are ready to take control of your narrative and be your most unapologetic and confident self, you're in the right place. This is the Small Business PR Podcast.
Gloria Chou 01:17
All right, everyone, I'm so excited today. Today's episode is very different from what we usually cover on this. And you'll see from the title. The reason why I think it's so important for our guest to come on is because there's so many small business owners who are listening to this episode right now who are wondering, 'Who am I to share my story? Who am I to take the world stage and get featured?' Well, if you need any confirmation from the universe that now is the time for you to pitch, this is it. So I actually met our guests today, Alexandra Harbushka at Podfest Orlando. I literally went to a panel and on this stage, in front of everybody revealed that she has general genital herpes and has built an entire community around telling her story. She is a podcast host of Life with Herpes. She has an entire community, mailing list, so many people that are actively engaged with her. And from her telling her story bravely, she is able to inspire other people. So thank you so much for coming on the show!
Alexandra Harbushka 02:15
Thank you, Gloria! I'm so excited and I love when you like reached out to me at Podfest to talk about this. So, I'm looking forward to our conversations here.
Gloria Chou 02:25
I will say you're the only person to be on this podcast that's not a journalist or one of my PR students.
Alexandra Harbushka 02:32
Okay. Let's do it.
Gloria Chou 02:35
So yeah, and when I heard your story of saying that you basically got on stage. And the first thing you said within five minutes was your diagnosis. And I was like, how does this relate to podcasting? Or how does this relate to building our business? And it resonates so profoundly within me that I think behind every business owner is a self-doubt, self- questioning. So that's what we're going to talk about today.
Alexandra Harbushka 02:58
Yeah, and there was such a period of time, I would say, really, until probably the 2000s, that we really separated ourselves from our personal life, and who we put out onstage or who we put out as professional. I mean, just look at even cellphones, right? When I first got my first business card, I didn't put my cell phone number on it. And that was in 2005. Like, ooh, I don't want to get my personal cellphone. So just look at how things have changed. Now, you would never use an office phone. You would give always your personal cellphone. Like that's just, there's always. So even that transition to, we have a personal story and doesn't mean I'm obviously talking about herpes, and it doesn't mean that we have to talk about our deepest, darkest, most vulnerable experience, but it allows us if we kind of lead with that compassion and that humility, and know that someone else has a story, just like it. It allows us to get more intimate and vulnerable with our tribe with our community.
Gloria Chou 04:06
So what you are sharing with the world is something that is so stigmatized. A lot of people find it embarrassing. A lot of people feel like is the end of the world. How did you decide to not only live with that, but get over that challenge and actually spread your message, get onto stages, get on to podcast and leading with this message?
Alexandra Harbushka 04:27
Well, so I launched a podcast in 2015. And it was called Sex, Money & Food. And I was interviewing other people. I was never opening up about my issues and never opening up about what was near and dear and maybe like sacred to my heart. I was too afraid to bring that out. And it was 2017, I was asked to speak at Podfest and so I don't remember what the topic really was. And so I prepared this whole thing on I got into financial debt at like 25. So I prepared this whole thing and I showed it to my husband, who was then my boyfriend. He's like, no offense, but everyone gets into debt at 25. Like, you know, it's just like, it wasn't like yet millions of dollars. You had some years, some credit card debt. You were 25. It's pretty normal. And that wasn't that deep of a story. He's like, 'I think you should share your story about having herpes.' And I was like, what you want? Like, what? And then I was like, Well, how is that going to impact you professionally? And how is that going to impact me? And he's like, it's you. It's your story. It's who you are. And you're, you're passionate about it, and you're passionate about helping people. So I got on stage at Podfest 2017 and said it, and that was the first time I've ever said it publicly. It was right kind of when streaming, like you could stream on Facebook, like that was still pretty new. And so it was streamed, and it went out. And I was like, Okay, here we are. It was terrifying. But, I realized a lot of things that happen when you tell your story. It allows people connect, and they go, 'Oh, wow, she's human, or he's human,' or they 'She has vulnerabilities or 'Wow, she has something she's dealing with, too.' Other also people come up to you and say, 'Oh, I have it.' 'I have this, too.' Or three, they go, I don't have your situation, but I have my own story. And I never realized that someone else has my similar story and there's people dealing with that. So a lot of times we try to put these walls up to make us this, like, you know, I got my life in order. Yeah, I mean, there's times when you need to present yourself, of course. You don't want to necessarily show up as a victim. But we need to remember that, hey, people are going through their own thing. And I've made my business around this. However, you don't have to make your business around your vulnerability or your your fear.
Gloria Chou 07:08
Yeah, but I will say that when you do, you attract way more 'Hell, yes!' people, whether they're clients, supporters, and I think so many people are still living in that phase where they just want to be liked by everyone. But just from building my business and you from building your massive community, it's not about getting wishy-washy people who are like, okay, like you want people to make a strong decision. 'Hell, yes. I'm in her community,' or 'hell, no, she's not for me.' Right? I think so many of you are afraid of that.
Alexandra Harbushka 07:37
Yeah. And on that, you're right. So I mean, people are afraid. I want to, like everybody, I want to like be a carebear. And everybody loves me, right. One of the things that I was potentially insecure about or nervous about was partnering with people in my own area. So there's other people that are now talking about herpes and I was nervous. I'm like, well, I don't know if I necessarily want to partner with them. because my people go to their tribe, and they leave my tribe. And what we have to realize is if that person is meant to find someone else, they're going to find that person. If you can speed that process up for them, and get them to the right person, then that's going to support them. And in return, it supports you vice versa, whoever you're partnering with, they're going to have people as well, that would be better suited for you. If you can speed that up and and ultimately lead with, with the end result as the client not so much. Oh, I don't know, well, I don't want to share what I have. Because they might go somewhere else. You're right, they might, but if they weren't going to go, they're eventually gonna go. So you might as well speed that up and get again, get your nuclear tribe.
Gloria Chou 08:54
Yeah. 100%. So you've given us some big things to think about in terms of telling things that we're not comfortable with. Obviously, it doesn't have to be something as terrifying. It could be just 'I'm afraid to be seen in media, because I don't know who's going to see. I'm afraid people from my high school are going to think that I'm self promoting.' So let's just dial it back a little bit. How can you encourage the people who are just even afraid to maybe post on Instagram or share anything? Like how can you how can people get started?
Alexandra Harbushka 09:23
I was just thinking too like podcasting. A lot of times people do podcasts because you don't have to show your face. Right, you can just kind of like 'Oh, I'm just gonna talk and who knows? Who knows what's gonna happen and like you said, share on Instagram? I would say you need to go back to your 'Why.' Why am I doing this and why is it important for me? Why am I an entrepreneur or why do I want to share my story or why am I in business? And if you go back to your why, and really understand your 'why' of hey, this support someone, or hey, this is going to change someone's life or this message, somebody really needs to hear because I was in this situation before. And if I would have heard this message five years ago, wow. And so whatever your reason, whatever your why is, if you go back to that, and lead with that one person, I picked one person that I was talking to, not 1000 people, not the masses. I picked one. If you go back to that one person you go, would that change that person's life? Yes or no? And that's how you do it. As far as posting on Instagram, you're like, Oh, well, what about my friends? Like, I have that too. I went to a really small high school or somebody in my graduating class, I still have that, like, Oh, what is someone's gonna say that I have herpes, you know, and I go back to, well, that person might have it to that person might secretly need to hear my conversation. Maybe you post on a different account, maybe you don't use your Alexandra Harbushka that post pictures of my son's third birthday on Friday, but maybe I created another account that's just dedicated to this. One of the things that we have this fear of like, again, you're going to be on a podcast? Are you going to launch you're going to launch your own podcast? Are you going to launch your own YouTube channel? Are you going to launch this? Whatever you're gonna launch, chances are like I just created this new, I have a new business and I created a new Instagram for that. I now have like, 11 followers, and it's like you think I'm putting all this energy, like 11 people have seen it. You know, like, okay, you're gonna build and you're gonna build with your new community that you create, and those people are gonna cheer you on. You're right. Those people from high school or college or family might be like, 'Okay, why is she posting about this on like, you know, right, maybe create something else and just build that?
Gloria Chou 09:27
Yeah. And those people from high school are not going to buy from you. They're not your customers. And I always think about our attention as entrepreneurs as it's kind of like a bucket of water. And if you have so many holes in it, it's pouring in all different directions, but the plant that really needs to be fed with water never really gets that powerful stream, right? So you're gonna have haters, no matter what, they're going to judge you for doing nothing. They're gonna judge you for doing something, might as well direct our attention into really building what we want, right? What is your ethos? Or what is your like, mindset hack around haters? Because I'm sure when you told people that you had genital herpes, there was a lot of judgment about your behaviors, and how did you even deal with that?
Alexandra Harbushka 12:28
So for me myself, so yeah, with herpes, there's a lot that goes with it, because there's like, 'Oh, well, she obviously was promiscuous. Oh, she obviously she slept with, or like, all those things.' And I had removed myself from the stigma. So I had broken down the stigma myself first, and detached myself from it. And so it no longer affected me. Does it affect me every now and then? I will say if it if people attack my family, then yes. If they attack my husband or my son, on social, yeah, I get Mama Bear. And I get like, don't go there. But you attacking me, I just I look at it as like, well, if you're seeing something in me that affects you. And it's a mirror and I'm triggering something in you is what it is. So I'm not really the issue. I'm just bringing your trigger to your forefront. So again, I go back to my why. Why am I doing this? Why am I talking about it? Um, yeah, I just I think if you detach if you've worked through your own story, and you've digested it, and you're at the point of like, wow, this story someone needs to hear again, they're not necessarily attacking you. They're attacking. It's they're attacking themselves.
Gloria Chou 13:52
Yeah, exactly, exactly. I think there's just so much noise in the universe where somebody sent me a message after they watched my PR Masterclass, and they said, all of my life, I felt like I had nothing to say, until now. And you've given me the motivation to say that I do have something to say. And I think there's this narrative that holds us back. I don't know if it's patriarchy. If it's just all forms of oppression, that tells us that someone else always says it better. Or someone else always does it better. And we have to kind of wait until we're ready.
Alexandra Harbushka 14:21
Right, potentially, I think everybody has this like, I'm like, I don't know, should I do it? Should I not? I think we all have our own little insecurities. And it's just a matter of like, now we're in this amazing time, where if you want to tell your story, you can literally do it for free. Like you just pick up your phone, press 'record,' and like post and you can do it like there was no... Before it was like 'Okay, I gotta go here and I gotta go here and then I gotta get this and how do I gotta get? How do I get on the news or how do I share? Am I gonna get a town hall meeting or whatever it was? Now you can just go, yeah, but we still create those little insecurities. I talked a lot about fear in my presentation at Podfest. And fear is something that we create in our mind. It can be real or imagined. And fear is something that can be really, really helpful if it's life or death. Oh, my gosh, there is a wolf. I'm on a walk, and there's a wolf. Okay, that's legit. That's a legit fear. But I'm on a walk. And I'm potentially scared of a wolf showing up. But I've never ever seen a wolf. And so therefore, I'm not going to go on the walk. That's an imagined fear. And that imagined fear can keep us from from presenting, or going on a walk, for example. And so what happens in our nervous system is we go into fight or flight so we can create these fears in our mind. Oh, I can't open up. I can't go on a podcast. I can't go on social media. I can't do PR. I can't share my story. Because I have this imagined fear of something happening to me and I go into fight or flight. And I just freeze and I don't do anything. And what that does is it takes the blood out of our brains, and it pumps it into our legs so that we can run faster. So there really is a wolf. You can run faster, that's great. But you're being but being like an imaginary fear of presenting or opening up about your story doesn't help your brain because you're taking all the blood from your brain to your legs. How does that...You can't run away from podcasts like it doesn't. Anyway, so we have to, when we understand what's happening physically in our body, we go, oh, this is an imagined fear that I'm creating. And if I can start to digest that, that's gonna help. Like I said, I broke down the stigma of people with herpes acted in certain behaviors. And I was like, well, that's not who I am. So why am I identifying? Or why am I putting myself in a bucket and walking around with shame that I never had? Now that I have herpes, I am shameful. You know what I mean? So you kind of have to digest it and pull it apart and realize like, Whoa, I just created this whole thing in my mind.
Gloria Chou 17:24
Yep. And you know what your worst fear you can change your perspective. And be like, this is actually not my fear anymore. This is my sword. This is my site. This is how I'm really going to show up in the world. I love what you said about tapping into our why. I was talking to someone who makes like cupcakes, or she makes these beautiful cupcakes, amazing designs. And she's like, I don't feel like I have anything to say. I don't feel. I know why I'm doing this, like with PR. I just feel like I make cupcakes. And I'm like, when was the last time you made that three-year old kid so happy, right because you went to his birthday? Or when did you make that mom who just lost a baby and now she has a rainbow baby and you were there for her baby shower and she cried. Like, think about your why. And that's what I love about what you said is, it doesn't have to be a life changing diagnosis, like herpes. It could be making cupcakes or candles. Right? Yeah. And I want to shift gears now just talking about spreading your message on a bigger platform, right? You have your own podcast. You've been on so many podcasts. How do you start the process of even pitching yourself for podcasts? Because this is kind of what I teach as like do's and don'ts. So can you walk us through? Like, how do you even get your mindset to the point where it's like, 'I'm gonna pitch and it's not about a normal, like business pitch that I get, but it's gonna be about my herpes story.'
Alexandra Harbushka 18:40
So for me, it was specifically breaking it down into what categories does my podcast touch and not only that, and who do I want to touch? So do I want to touch the mommy groups, that there's mommies and they maybe want to have a baby? Maybe they don't have a baby and are trying to get pregnant? Or maybe they already have a child and they're worried about 'oh my gosh, am I going to transmit this to my child?' So I tried to figure out little niches that were not just like the obvious sex podcast, right? It's like, okay, how can I break my niche down into other smaller niches, again, to tell my message, and then I would spend some time finding the other podcast hosts that I resonated with? Is it a podcast I would listen to? Is it a message that I feel it's going to be well received? So for me again, talking about herpes, I can talk about I can go on business podcasts. I can talk about branding. I can talk about messaging. I can talk about the fear of your message. I can go on any health podcast. I can talk about understanding a diagnosis. I also am faith-based so I can go on any faith-based podcast so I just looked at how can my niche be broken down into smaller niches, not just the obvious, like a sex podcast. So I think for anybody that is looking to be on podcasts, we can use the cupcake one, for example, again, that would be great. You can look at again, mommy podcasts. You can look at creating birthday parties. You can look at branding. You can talk about passions. You can do like all these other niches. And again, if you have a message that you want to share and a piece of information people can go home with something. What can they go home with? That's where you want to lead.
Gloria Chou 20:35
Yeah, so let's just go through, let's say you're pitching for a fear podcast, right? And it's kind of a general entrepreneur podcast, and maybe talks about business and fear mindset. How do you... what is the structure of the pitch that you actually send, like subject line? Like, how long is the follow-up etiquette?
Alexandra Harbushka 20:54
So you definitely need to listen to the podcast. You need to listen to more than five minutes of it. You need to listen to it. I like to research the person that did go on social media. I like to just see who the person is and see also, do they have a criteria for them? Do they say like, oh, I want my... send it here or something? You know, how do they want they want to DM? What do they want? If they don't have any outline, then it's an email. And it's just letting them know, like, I'd like to be a guest on your podcast, or straight to the point. And then you know, 'Hi,' introduce yourself. I let them know that I have enjoyed listening to this episode. In that episode, I feel like my message could resonate. This is something I'd be interested in talking about, you know, fear. This is something I personally had to get over. I understand that your audience may have something around fear. This is a specific podcast. And then I send them a one sheet. So I have a one sheet that is all broken down on potential questions. You could ask me, my bio, who I am, links to my social. They can check me out. And then I always follow up with, if you'd like to talk to me, because my topic is pretty shocking. And so some people want to see me, and they want to know what I'm about. And so hey, if you want to set up a 15 minute phone call, that's great as well. So that's kind of the pitch goes. And some people are like, nope. The people that are very receptive to it. That's who I want to be with. That's awesome, which actually is okay. It's okay.
Gloria Chou 22:32
Exactly. The point is to make a strong decision, not just wishy- washy, we want either hell yes or hell no. Right. How have you leveraged the podcast appearances you've been on for your own visibility for your impact for your marketing?
Alexandra Harbushka 22:45
So definitely something that I like to do is how do I like you said amplify what I'm doing. So right now, we're recording this, I also have behind the scenes. So that's, we have one piece of media that's being recorded right now, why not take it and do multiple pieces of media. In the same time, I have a videographer cut up, I'm gonna do behind the scenes. I also have a whole page on my website that has all the podcasts listed that I have been on. I have an email that goes out to my email list. So it goes out every Friday. And if a podcast releases that Friday it's on that I have a community. That's a paid community. I have the information go out. I send a follow up email to the host that links every piece of social media content that went out so that that post can go either reuse it for his or her own media, or go, wow, that view that piece of content got 1000 views. Wow, that's awesome! Or that piece, Oh, wow. I'd like to snap that and use that as well. So I just try to reuse it in any way. And then I also reschedule it through my scheduling software to be promoted a year later. Like, Hey, did you know I was on XYZ podcast. We talked about. So it just gets repurposed and repurposed. And that's the power of social media. We have that. We put all this emphasis again. I spoke at Podfest. It's the 80-20. We, a lot of times put 80% into the one interview. But really, you should be putting 80% into the post. It's all in the post. It's how do we now use this one piece of content that we've created in 500 different ways, and that's really I think, where the power is because you never know when someone's gonna hear it. Someone could hear our interview today in 2027.
Gloria Chou 24:39
Yeah, exactly. And that's why I say more than social media which you don't own. It's not searchable. I love getting on podcast and guest podcasting because that is SEO that is backlinks. That is really what we're focusing on now, especially with social media algorithm deciding one day they like us or they don't like us. So I love what you said about if you want to work smarter, not harder. Just getting onto one podcast that is six, seve, ten, twenty different ways to leverage that content and SEO. What are some of the amazing opportunities that you have received from guests podcasting and just pitching yourself?
Alexandra Harbushka 25:12
I would say guest podcasting and pitching. I mean, I've been able to speak at conferences. You definitely have a repository of like 'here, this is what I've done,' You've got positive information. I've been featured in The New York Post. I've been featured in some major publications just because I've leverage podcasting and other social media. And when people research, they may have found me on a podcast, and then they go research and go, 'Whoa, she has all this going on behind the scenes. Okay, this is legit.' So it's not just one thing. It's multiple things.
Gloria Chou 25:51
I love that. So is there anything you want to say to people who are listening who are still like hesitating and be like maybe this year will be the year that I pitched myself? How can we give them that cheer from afar, get them started?
Alexandra Harbushka 26:04
I would say do it. When I first started podcasting. After I went to, I actually hosted this event, I had no idea what a podcast was. It was in 2015. It was with John Lee Dumas, was the speaker. It was Michael Stelzner, who hosts or puts on social media marketing around San Diego, and Mari Smith, who is like the Facebook guru. And it was these three people, I had no idea who they were. And they all said: do it and start now and be embarrassed of your first piece of content. And if you're not embarrassed by it, then you've waited too long. And I go back and look at things and I'm like, ooh, that critic. You should feel cringe about what you've put out five years ago. Don't wait five years to perfect it. Right? So put it out, do it. And you will learn as you're going. Like I mentioned, I completely started a whole different business. And I've been doing all of like, the type of content I've been creating with Life with Herpes is all just knowledge base, right? It's knowledge base. It's telling my personal story. It's not a product. It's on a product base, and I had to relearn how to sell a product, how to sell like one. I said, I have a jewelry business. So how do I sell a piece of jewelry? And how do I create a post that's like, five words, not a paragraph, right. And I go back and look at some of the things I created. I'm like that's bad, like, but I'm learning as I go. So you learn as you go. And that's okay. And a lot of times, if you're just starting, like I mentioned, I had like 11 followers on Instagram, nobody really cares. At this point, they're gonna grow with you, and you're gonna grow together. So I would say if you're not embarrassed by your first piece of content, or your what you're doing, then then you're waiting too long.
Gloria Chou 27:59
I love that! I always say with my PR students, we just got to get our hundred shitty drafts out the door. And then we become so good at writing, which is, to me a $10,000 an hour skill, not just social media, which is like a $10 an hour task. You're learning these skills for life. You're learning how to communicate. You're learning how to draw people into your world. That is absolutely priceless. And that will serve you in any occasion whether it's written, verbal communication, visual, or, or in person. Right.
Alexandra Harbushka 28:29
All right. Just do it. And don't get caught up in the like, 'oh my gosh, when I'm going to start?' Should I go to this person or that person? Or should I be on a podcastor do I YouTube? Should I do Pinterest? Should I do like just start? Just start. Just pick one and start.
Gloria Chou 28:49
Exactly. You don't even need a podcasting mic. I mean, I'm still, I'm still using my webcam. And we're we've been podcasting for a whole year. So it doesn't just got to start. I love what you said about that. It's all about mindset. And I think the work that you've done with the life-changing diagnosis you had was really to dig deep and really have that mental fitness. And now you're I think at the core of what you're doing is you're really helping people with a mindset. So thank you so much for doing the work that you do.
Alexandra Harbushka 29:17
You're welcome. And you'll find whatever you like minus a herpes diagnosis that really held me back right, and everybody has their own thing. Whether it's drug addiction, whether it's abuse, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Is if if now I forgot I was gonna say I like totally got sidetracked. If if No, I totally forgot to say
Gloria Chou 29:42
that's okay. Let me
Alexandra Harbushka 29:43
come back to me kind of come back to that like really went out. I don't know what are excited. So excited.
Gloria Chou 29:51
Yeah. So how can people find you and connect with you whether it's about herpes or sharing your story bravely, even if you're terrified or any of the things,
Alexandra Harbushka 30:01
You can find me Life with Herpes. And that's where I'm at. So lifewithherpes.com If you do have herpes, I do have a free download. It is outbreakremedies.com. And you can go there. outbreakremedies.com It's free. It's like a 12-page download that will walk you through it. And if you want to find any content about if you want to reach out to me, if I have any contact and go life with herpes.
Gloria Chou 30:33
Awesome! thank you so much for being on the show and for telling us that we have we all have stories within us, no matter where we are. And we need to tell it even if it means impacting that one person. It's worth it. You're changing lives.
Alexandra Harbushka 30:45
I know what I was gonna say. We all have that one thing that stops us and we find out as we work through it. The issue was already there. So what I mean by that? People will say I have herpes. I now I can't date. I have date. I can't date because I now have herpes. And they find out 'Wow, that belief was there before herpes.' So right? The belief was there before herpes. it wasn't. It was the herpes diagnosis that brought it to the forefront. So for any of our whatever your 911 crisis is, we create a scapegoat around it. I can't do PR because this. I can't go on a podcast because of that. Well, that issue was already there. And we're just using, in my case, the herpes diagnosis as the scapegoat for it. So when you start to realize that and you go, wow, I've been giving this thing so much power in my life. That's when you start to break down the barriers and are able then to go out and beyond do PR, you're able to share your story.
Gloria Chou 31:51
Yeah, it's all about how you look at things. When you look at things differently. Everything shifts, right. You can say, well, I have this diagnosis, I will never be successful. I will never be seen you know, but then you're like what, what if I chose to look at it differently? And now everything is an opportunity for you right? Before everything was a dead end. Right. Thank you so much.
Alexandra Harbushka 31:51
Thank you, Gloria.
Gloria Chou 32:14
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