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This is StarTalk Cosmic Queries, the fan favorite. I got
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with me Chuck Nice. Chuck. Hey, Neil. What's happening? We're
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always doing this. We're doing it with the Cosmic Queries.
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We got this. You got to love it. You got
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to love it.
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People love Cosmic Queries.
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Love it. And this. Love it.
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I love it. But I will say that this episode,
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I happened to monitor the Twitter feed. And people have really,
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they are super excited about this episode.
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Well, the topic is grit and perseverance, which is not
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just what athletes have, but anyone who achieves and succeeds
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and excels in life or anything else they choose. Generally,
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it requires a little bit of grit and perseverance. And
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I don't think enough credit is given to that. We
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so often want to say, oh, they're natural. Right. And
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I think that's, That absolves us from having to believe
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you could achieve it by working hard. They'll just say, oh,
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they just got it for free. basically, just by being born. Well,
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neither you nor I are an expert on this, but
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we do have someone who is, a friend of StarTalk.
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Yes.
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Her second appearance, Angela Duckworth. Angela.
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Hello. I'm so happy to be called a friend of StarTalk.
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Very exciting.
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I'm going to put it on my resume.
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You were on once, and you agreed to come back.
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That's sufficient to call you a friend.
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Okay, that's good.
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We have a low bar for that sort of thing.
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As you can see, the threshold is not.
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Yeah, that's all right. I'll take it.
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So you're a professor of psychology, University of Pennsylvania, and
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you're author of an amazing book called Grit, The Power
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and Passion of Perseverance. Love it. And that changed the
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dialogue on what it is to achieve. I remembered when
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the book came out and everybody was talking about it.
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It was in the news. And you're also founder and
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CEO of the Character Lab. Character Lab. What is that, Angela?
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What a great name.
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You like it?
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I love that name.
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I think people like wonder about what character means, but
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let me just say what Character Lab is. It's a nonprofit.
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We advance scientific insights that help kids thrive. So we
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help scientists and educators study and improve things like grit,
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but also gratitude, growth mindset, curiosity, kind of everything that
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we think Aristotle meant when he said that character is
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life that's well-lived. So it's a little bit new, it's
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a little bit old fashioned, and I like the term character,
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but I think it's a little out of fashion these days,
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to be honest.
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Really?
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You guys don't agree? No.
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That's the thing. What's your character? Are you a gentleman
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and a lady? Yeah, so I agree the way that's
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sort of written in 19th century literature, it's a little
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out of date. But if you update it and make
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it real, That's the lab part. See, there you go.
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Maybe it's my upbringing because it was stressed highly in
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my home. The condition of your character being the thing
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that measures you as a person. And where your value
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as a person is found. It is found in your character.
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That's how I was raised that way. Right.
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How are you going to show up in the world, right?
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Right, yeah.
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Yeah, no, it resonates with me.
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Martin Luther King's speech has a content of your character.
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That's right.
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Yes.
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We have Martin Luther King quotes and... You know he
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liked the word character because he used it more than once.
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And the one that we have in the biggest font
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is that character plus intelligence, those are the true goals
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of education. And because you were talking about talent just
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a moment ago, which is the foil, I think, for grit,
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like this is what I'm not studying, I couldn't agree more.
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That character, including your grit and more, these are all
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things that matter for kids to develop as they grow up. Sweet. Sweet.
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And also your co-host of the podcast, No Stupid Questions.
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So you're ideal for a Cosmic Queries, because you're not
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gonna make anybody feel bad. Chuck will read a question
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and say, that's a stupid question. I will.
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I'm not gonna tell Chuck.
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Chuck will be all up in it.
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I will tell people in a second, that is stupid.
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You can have just stupid questions. We could pair up.
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A spinoff, a spinoff of the ones that Angela rejects.
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I like that, just stupid questions.
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Probably more fun.
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And back in 2017, you were a MacArthur Fellow. That's
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the genius fellow that are so widely written about people.
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And it's a huge chunk of money that you could
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like go to the Bahamas with it if you chose.
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I donated my MacArthur to Character Lab. You know, honestly,
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I don't know what MacArthur Fellows do with their money,
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but I kind of think it would be gross to
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keep it. Don't you think?
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It's a nice chunk of change. You want to do
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something right with it.
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Yeah.
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You don't just go to Vegas or anything.
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Yeah, I need to go to Vegas.
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Thereby being a reflection of your character.
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I have to say this. Like, no kidding here. Like,
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being the, you know, titular head of Character Lab, there
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have been many times where I have thought, like, I
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want to say this. I want to do this. I
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want to tweet this. I want to retweet. Like, and
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then I think, but probably not the best thing for
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the head of Character Lab to do.
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Yeah.
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So you need an alter ego or something, you know?
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Yeah, I need like a secret, like alter identity.
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Angela Devilsworth, you know?
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Yeah, exactly.
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So this is a Cosmic Queries and we solicited questions
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on grit and perseverance and right up your alley. And Chuck,
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you said people were just all in it.
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Man, I mean, you have really touched a nerve here.
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with the idea of, with your work on grit, because
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people are, Not only just asking questions, but then people
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were debating each other from the questions that they asked online.
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And I've never seen that happen before with the Cosmic Queries.
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Yeah.
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Oh, gosh. Now I'm really curious. I want to know
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what people are saying.
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So they created dust-ups even within the inquiry page.
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With people asking questions, it created just responses to the questions.
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And that is good. It means that you are a
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catalyst for conversation, which is wonderful.
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Ooh, I love the alliteration, Chuck.
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That was pretty cool. So here we go, right?
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Let's do it. Let's do this.
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And we always start with a Patreon patron because they
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support us financially. And of course, we'd be fools not to.
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So let's go with Thomas. Elenskis. Elenskis.
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There we go.
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Elenskis. There you go. Thomas Elenskis.
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Somehow I doubt it, but go on.
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I know. I was like, I'm not going to try
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that one.
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Yeah, Angela.
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Thomas.
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Well, you will see that a running theme here in
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StarTalk is that I butcher people's names.
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Oh, that's good. I hope you're doing it indiscriminately. Like
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you should equally offend everyone. I do.
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Yeah, exactly.
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That's the point. Everybody's name gets butchered and it's, you know, it's, yeah,
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I won't even say, I won't go any further. It says, hey, Dr.
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Tyson and Dr. Duckworth, having served in the Army for
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four years, my fellow veterans have come to realize the
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importance of resiliency. Now, as a psychology major, what tools
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could I use to help others transition successfully into the
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civilian mindset? Coming to you from Fort Benning.
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Good question.
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Angela, do you think that question– Did you see my
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shirt here, by the way?
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I see that, Army.
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And that was not– this is just a dress down
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a little bit for you guys.
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It was the last thing in the drawer because you
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haven't done laundry.
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Well, you know what? I actually have a lot of
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West Point swag because I've been working with West Point for,
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I don't know, 15 years or something. So this is
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right there. Yeah, tax dollars at work here.
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I wonder if that question relates to the fact that
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in the Army, you are commanded to perform. and someone
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is screaming at you, calling you a maggot, and you
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don't want to be a maggot. Whereas in regular life,
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no one is calling you a maggot, unless that happens
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to Chuck. Absolutely.
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Chuck wants to weigh in on that.
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It's normally my father-in-law, but it's okay. I think of
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it as a term of endearment.
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So if that force isn't operating on you, I don't
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want to over-interpret his question, but it seems to me,
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It's where do you, if a military person is trying
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to offer help to a civilian, they're trying to find
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ways that a civilian can get motivated, perhaps from within.
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Yeah.
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And if I'm, again, like reading into Thomas's question, just guessing,
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I think a lot of people have the question, when
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you move out of the military into civilian life or you,
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you know, retire from a sports team or any of
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these major life transitions where you were gritty, no doubt, right,
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in something, right? How do you transfer that in another domain?
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And I think it is a good question because I
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actually don't think, you know, being gritty in one situation,
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then everything changes. I don't think there's any guarantee that
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you're especially going to be, you know, passionate and persevering
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in this next thing. I mean, it's not that you
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change entirely. I just think that we come to rely
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a lot on those structures. And maybe this is what
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you're getting at, Neil, like, you know, the military is
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so structured so is by the way being a part
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of a professional sports team and so are a lot
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of other professions that require a lot of grit and.
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When you take somebody out of that discipline yeah.
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And discipline right and they're like their routines there are
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like things that you don't have to like invent entirely
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on your own i mean getting up early isn't that
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hard when you are part of active service right you
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don't have to like think like how am i going
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to get up early and like schedule my day? Um,
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so I think it is a good question. And, um,
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if the advice is like, what could I, as somebody
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who is gritty and is in the military, like say
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to somebody who is transitioning, or maybe there are, maybe
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there are civilians and they've never been in the military.
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I always think stories are the, are the best way
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to do it. Like you know, it's a, it's a,
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it's something I've not actually fully understood as a scientist,
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but there is something about the human mind that learns
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from stories in a way that we, and you tell
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me what you guys think, like that, that we, like,
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we never forget them. Like I hardly forget a story
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that somebody, you know, tell, whereas statistics just run through
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like water, like a sieve. Right. And, and, and there's
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this kind of stickiness and sometimes, you know, like there's a,
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There's a moral, so we remember the story, but also
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the moral. Anyway, I think telling stories that are true
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and that are maybe helpful to illustrate times that you
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struggled with resilience, but what you learned and what worked
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for you.
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So not just a story in the abstract, but a
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personal experience story, which presumably makes it that much more real.
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What do you think about that, though?
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I agree.
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You guys do a lot more conversing than I do.
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Tirely. I think, just look back. You know, when children
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sit in a circle around a storyteller, they are completely wrapped.
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And you don't even need video for that. You can
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just sit there. And if you're a good storyteller, you
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just talk to them and they're wrapped. And the adult
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version of that is when you go to the movies
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and someone is telling you a story from the screen.
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So not only that, the constellations of the night sky,
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I've studied them just because they're fun to talk about
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when you have a star party, but they're stories. Every
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constellation has a story. And I was told, I read
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that this was a way that you boosted conversational literacy.
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Like you would just talk about this guy and wherever
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you were, the sky was with you. And you'd be
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able to tell that to others.
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You mean like in ancient times?
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Yeah, ancient times, of course.
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Not without the app that you.
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Look at the app and you hold up the app.
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In my day, we had to remember where the stars
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were and none of this app stuff.
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But those were ancient times.
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But the mythologies were one way to remember them was
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you put them in the sky and they're in the dome.
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They're in your cosmic dome every night.
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Yeah, and I think there's, like, an emotion that comes
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with stories that, like, never really comes through as statistics.
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And then, you know, if you tell a story about
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your own life, there's a little bit of a, like,
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people can see themselves, like, in your shoes. So, yeah,
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00:12:35.230
like I said, I haven't really impacted, like, all the,
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what are all the magic ingredients of stories? Because they
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are magical. But I think we named a couple of them. Yeah.
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All right, another question. What do you have?
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Okay, here we go. Leslie Goodwill of Patreon also wants
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to know. She says, my daughter Trinity asks, how the
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science of grit and perseverance can relate to the cosmic perspective?
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What? I feel like I should pass that immediately to Neil.
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No, no. We have to tag team this.
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No, no, no.
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This is a tag team question. So we have to
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figure out.
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So first, let's break this down. First, is there a
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way to encapsulate the science of grit?
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Yeah, we should probably start with that. That's probably my
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part of the collaboration here, right?
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Yes, yes.
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Okay.
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So in a nutshell, what I mean by grit is
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this combination of passion and perseverance for really long-term goals.
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And I think that's the part I really want to emphasize.
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Not being like, oh my God, I want to be
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a stand-up comic and I so want to do it.
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And that person's like staying up at, you know, till
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four in the morning once, right? Like it's really like,
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how do you sustain passion and perseverance for honestly years
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or decades? Because I just don't think anything great ever
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happens overnight. And that, that's the emphasis in grit on stamina.
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And people want something to happen quickly. And grit is
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the opposite of that. It's recognizing that it takes long investments.
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Yeah. People aren't very good at waiting. We all know that, right?
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Like none of us are, you know, if any of
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us could have instant gratification compared to delayed gratification, we
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would all take instant gratification. I think if there were
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a shortcut to, you know, world-class excellence, I would take
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it too.
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But yeah.
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That's just so completely obvious when you put it that way, right?
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It is actually, there's a data set on about a
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thousand four-year-olds, like all over the country where they were
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all given the choice between like two treats, say like,
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let's say marshmallows, because that was one of the.
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Two marshmallows later on.
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Is this the famous marshmallow experiment?
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It is, but here's the thing.
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Tell it, tell it. Okay, so a lot of people
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saw this like on the Colbert Report and like, you know,
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it's kind of entered like Sesame Street's done stuff on it.
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So a lot of people have heard about the marshmallow test.
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The way the marshmallow test works is you get like
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usually around a four-year-old preschool and they're sitting at a
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table and And they're first given the selection of all
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kinds of treats. Say they pick marshmallows as their favorite.
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You take away all the other treats and then you
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make two piles. Say you have two marshmallows on the right,
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you have one marshmallow on the left. And you just
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ask the little boy or girl, like, would you rather
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have two, but you have to wait, you know, till
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I come back in the room, I got to do something,
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or one right away. So it's two later or one now.
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And the test part is really like you see how
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long that four year old can, can really wait it
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out versus just basically, you know, eat the first one. Right.
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And then have, have one now. And here's the thing.
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Everybody decides that they want to have two. You ask
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them like, do you want to have two later? Everybody says,
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I'll wait. I'll wait. I'm good. Like I'll definitely wait.
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And then the question is how long can you wait?
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So I think it's just interesting that we would all
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prefer to, you know, have more, even if there's a way,
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but I think there's a, um, you know, inability to
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sustain that.
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So I can offer a cosmic reflection on that. That's
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a kid test, of course, but if you raise that
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up to adult level, there's still that behavior manifested, maybe
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not with marshmallows, but other treats.
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Oh, lots of other things that we have problems with.
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Things that are so much better than marshmallows.
341
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Probably some of them are legal.
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Very good point. Only some of which are legal. So
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I would say, biologically, when I think about it, there's
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all these people who want to live forever, all right?
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And I thought to myself, do I want to live forever? Well,
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if I live forever, then I have no motivation to
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do anything today because I can always do it tomorrow.
348
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You can always procrastinate.
349
00:16:45.110 --> 00:16:48.490
Yeah, yeah. And even procrastinators can say, I'm going to.
350
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I'll get around to it.
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Yeah, I'll get around to procrastinating later. So if you recognize...
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And if you're not Shirley MacLaine who believes in multiple
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lives or whole religions, of course, have these foundations or
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not just whether you're reborn, but whether you are born
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on earth again, whether you're in Valhalla or heaven or
356
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anywhere else. So if you see your life as just
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the days on this world, then, and you know you
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are going to die, that creates a sense of, of
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urgency to how you spend your time. Not only, let
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me take another step higher. The number of people who
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have ever been born is small compared to the total
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genetic combinations that can make an actual human. And it
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will forever be a minuscule fraction of that tiny fraction.
364
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So most people who could ever exist will never even
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be born. Right. So to quote Richard Dawkins, we, because
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we die, are the lucky ones because we are alive
367
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at all.
368
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Yes.
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Exposed to non-existence.
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Exposed to non-existence.
371
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Yeah.
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Never having existed. So when I think of what I'm
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going to do today, it is because I exist. I
374
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might not have ever existed and my days on this
375
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earth are limited.
376
00:18:24.869 --> 00:18:27.799
Right. Do you really think about that like on.
377
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A reasonably frequent basis? Not daily. Weekly.
378
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Weekly.
379
00:18:31.269 --> 00:18:33.410
That's interesting.
380
00:18:33.430 --> 00:18:35.589
He thinks about it so much that he's written a
381
00:18:35.630 --> 00:18:37.650
children's book called You're Gonna Die.
382
00:18:39.190 --> 00:18:39.990
You're all gonna die.
383
00:18:40.019 --> 00:18:42.539
You're all gonna die. Now get something done.
384
00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:47.779
Do something. So for me, that can be a motivator
385
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for anyone who fully embraces and understands that state of truth.
386
00:18:54.569 --> 00:18:54.650
Yes.
387
00:18:54.670 --> 00:18:55.089
About the world.
388
00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:57.440
Yeah. And, and, and, and I do think you're right.
389
00:18:57.480 --> 00:19:00.420
That kind of, um, you know, let's just talk about procrastination. Like, yeah,
390
00:19:00.480 --> 00:19:04.000
I'll get to it. And people procrastinate in small ways. Like, yeah, they,
391
00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:06.880
they should get around to something and they delay by
392
00:19:06.900 --> 00:19:08.839
a week, but you're right. Some people are delaying things
393
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:11.240
by like decades. Like, yeah, I'm going to get a
394
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:14.039
job that I really care about. Like, you know, at
395
00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:17.640
some point and then, and then years go by, I think,
396
00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:19.380
I think if you really thought you were only going
397
00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:22.289
to live for one day, right. If today were the
398
00:19:22.450 --> 00:19:26.210
only day, then, uh, I mean, You know, that would
399
00:19:26.250 --> 00:19:28.690
create an urgency just to like, I don't know what
400
00:19:28.710 --> 00:19:30.529
that would create an urgency for. But yeah, no, I
401
00:19:30.549 --> 00:19:32.450
think having a sense of mortality. By the way, I
402
00:19:32.690 --> 00:19:36.339
think about my death a lot. And I think it's like.
403
00:19:36.359 --> 00:19:38.279
Wait, Angela, you need to see a psychologist.
404
00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:41.180
No, I think it's very healthy. I actually try to
405
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:44.750
remind other people of death like a lot, maybe not weekly. But,
406
00:19:45.490 --> 00:19:47.970
you know, especially when I start like a new collaboration
407
00:19:48.069 --> 00:19:49.529
or if I meet somebody that I really want to
408
00:19:49.569 --> 00:19:52.460
work with. I'm like, all right, hi, my name is Angela. Like,
409
00:19:52.940 --> 00:19:55.240
here's why I'm
reaching out to you. You're going to die.
410
00:19:55.259 --> 00:19:58.940
So am I very quickly. I mean, I'm not exactly
411
00:19:58.980 --> 00:20:01.440
sure when we should work on this together. Like I
412
00:20:01.480 --> 00:20:04.180
literally say that in opening emails, it doesn't always work,
413
00:20:04.339 --> 00:20:09.619
but isn't it true though? It is. I had been
414
00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:14.359
to probably too many, you know, Zoom services, like memorial
415
00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:17.720
services during this pandemic. And I was just at one
416
00:20:18.140 --> 00:20:19.859
yesterday and it was a great life. It was the
417
00:20:19.880 --> 00:20:23.349
guy who, the scientist behind the 10,000 hour rule, the
418
00:20:23.710 --> 00:20:26.890
deliberate practice. It was a beautiful like celebration, but he,
419
00:20:27.069 --> 00:20:29.950
you know, died in his very early seventies and it
420
00:20:29.990 --> 00:20:32.869
was very unexpected and sudden. And you could say like,
421
00:20:33.309 --> 00:20:36.059
it was tragic, but I remember when I, well, it
422
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:39.180
was yesterday, but I was like, They're weeping with everyone else.
423
00:20:39.220 --> 00:20:42.680
And I was thinking, you know, whether it's 72 or
424
00:20:42.740 --> 00:20:46.670
maybe 92 or whatever, it is a blink of an eye.
425
00:20:46.890 --> 00:20:50.269
And so I think actually keeping that in perspective, like,
426
00:20:50.789 --> 00:20:52.250
I don't know, I think it's very helpful.
427
00:20:52.269 --> 00:20:55.470
I'm glad we agree. And that's our collaborative project.
428
00:20:55.799 --> 00:20:56.869
That we just concluded on.
429
00:20:56.900 --> 00:20:58.420
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
430
00:20:58.460 --> 00:21:00.019
We've got to take our first break. There you go,
431
00:21:00.059 --> 00:21:02.779
ladies and gentlemen. This episode of Death Talk has been
432
00:21:02.859 --> 00:21:05.920
brought to you by Dr. Angela Duffworth and Dr. Neil
433
00:21:05.940 --> 00:21:09.640
deGrasse Tyson. Very popular talk. We've got to take a
434
00:21:09.660 --> 00:21:13.019
quick break. When we come back, more on breaking down
435
00:21:13.079 --> 00:21:17.539
the anatomy of grit and perseverance on Cosmic Queries Star Talk.
436
00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:25.609
We're back. Star Talk, Cosmic Queries, grit and perseverance, determinations
437
00:21:26.140 --> 00:21:30.700
Angela Duckworth literally and figuratively wrote the book on this.
438
00:21:31.240 --> 00:21:33.559
And just before the break, you mentioned that you attended
439
00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:37.299
a memorial service by the guy who wrote about the 10,000 hours.
440
00:21:37.500 --> 00:21:39.200
Just remind us what the 10,000 hours is.
441
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:44.019
So there's an idea that to become a world-class expert
442
00:21:44.339 --> 00:21:51.369
at anything, chess, ballet, astrophysics, you need to put in, say, 10,000 hours.
443
00:21:51.569 --> 00:21:53.849
I mean, I say that
in air quotes. I'll unpack
444
00:21:53.890 --> 00:21:57.049
it in a second. 10,000 hours of practice. And that's,
445
00:21:57.309 --> 00:22:00.089
I think, almost become, you know, almost like part of
446
00:22:00.130 --> 00:22:03.579
common culture, right? That like the 10,000 hour rule is
447
00:22:03.619 --> 00:22:07.539
the rule of becoming great, is the journalist who wrote
448
00:22:07.579 --> 00:22:10.440
about it. But the scientist behind that research was named
449
00:22:10.519 --> 00:22:14.539
Anders Ericsson. And he passed away and his memorial service
450
00:22:14.579 --> 00:22:17.140
was yesterday. And I was a collaborator and a friend
451
00:22:17.180 --> 00:22:19.309
of his. And I think one of the things that
452
00:22:19.420 --> 00:22:21.990
Anders would want everyone to know is that it does
453
00:22:22.049 --> 00:22:24.819
take thousands and thousands of of hours of practice to
454
00:22:24.839 --> 00:22:27.940
become great. His own brother said during his memorial service
455
00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:29.640
that if you added up the number of hours this
456
00:22:29.700 --> 00:22:33.309
guy spent on the science of expertise, it easily would
457
00:22:33.349 --> 00:22:38.410
have exceeded 100,000 hours. But what Anders would really want.
458
00:22:38.329 --> 00:22:40.440
Everyone to know- But it's very meta to say, He
459
00:22:40.460 --> 00:22:43.799
spent at least 10,000 hours trying to prove that 10,000
460
00:22:43.799 --> 00:22:44.920
hours would make you an expert.
461
00:22:45.009 --> 00:22:48.049
It was so meta. I mean, actually, in his own family,
462
00:22:48.109 --> 00:22:50.430
but also among friends and colleagues, we used to just
463
00:22:50.509 --> 00:22:53.369
all joke that he was the world expert on world experts.
464
00:22:53.470 --> 00:22:57.450
I mean, super meta, right? And he actually did all
465
00:22:57.490 --> 00:23:00.210
the things that he studied. It was meta, meta, meta.
466
00:23:00.990 --> 00:23:02.190
But here's the thing that I think a lot of
467
00:23:02.210 --> 00:23:04.529
people don't appreciate, which is that it's the quality of
468
00:23:04.549 --> 00:23:08.670
the practice that really distinguishes experts. I mean, obviously, it's
469
00:23:08.690 --> 00:23:11.829
the quality and the quantity. But what experts do with
470
00:23:11.869 --> 00:23:13.849
those hours is different from what other people do.
471
00:23:15.289 --> 00:23:17.410
So it's not just, let me get in the water
472
00:23:17.490 --> 00:23:21.049
and slap my hands to try to swim. Let me
473
00:23:21.269 --> 00:23:22.490
improve the stroke.
474
00:23:23.190 --> 00:23:23.329
Exactly.
475
00:23:23.349 --> 00:23:25.710
I think built into the concept of practice is you're
476
00:23:25.789 --> 00:23:28.349
trying to get better at it. You're not just doing it.
477
00:23:28.759 --> 00:23:32.380
So it's 10,000 hours of improving yourself, not 10,000 hours
478
00:23:32.420 --> 00:23:33.269
of just doing it.
479
00:23:33.660 --> 00:23:36.200
OK, well, you guys have just hit upon a really
480
00:23:36.259 --> 00:23:39.640
great point. I'm going to interrupt and throw in two questions.
481
00:23:40.200 --> 00:23:44.019
because they're so apropos to what you just said in
482
00:23:44.380 --> 00:23:50.609
a different way, but still. Kunal Kahana from Facebook says,
483
00:23:51.009 --> 00:23:56.430
does perseverance really lead to success? And when should a
484
00:23:57.410 --> 00:24:03.559
scientist slash person slash athlete Know when to quit. That's one.
485
00:24:03.579 --> 00:24:06.680
That's one. That's just one.
486
00:24:06.700 --> 00:24:07.819
That was a long one.
487
00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:08.619
That was a long one.
488
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:09.700
If you tell me the next one, I'm going to
489
00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:10.539
forget the first one.
490
00:24:10.579 --> 00:24:12.700
No, you're not going to, because here's the, just remember,
491
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:14.859
when is it, when should I know when to quit?
492
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:18.799
When to quit. And then Nathan Warden, along the same lines, okay,
493
00:24:18.819 --> 00:24:22.240
you guys can combine this. There's a saying, you can
494
00:24:22.299 --> 00:24:24.319
run a donkey around the track and train them harder
495
00:24:24.339 --> 00:24:26.859
than any racehorse that's ever been trained, but it'll never
496
00:24:26.900 --> 00:24:30.490
win the Kentucky Derby. Is there a limit to the
497
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:35.079
amount of success that we can expect from grit when competing?
498
00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:37.339
So that goes to what you guys just finished saying
499
00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:40.690
about how to train, how to practice. But then the
500
00:24:40.869 --> 00:24:44.049
second part of that is, OK, you're doing all the
501
00:24:44.109 --> 00:24:48.150
right things. Is there a point where you should say
502
00:24:48.579 --> 00:24:50.720
enough is enough? I'm going to quit.
503
00:24:51.019 --> 00:24:53.089
Chuck, that donkey would win the Kentucky Derby.
504
00:24:53.269 --> 00:24:53.880
Of donkeys.
505
00:24:54.069 --> 00:24:55.150
Of donkeys, yeah.
506
00:24:55.190 --> 00:24:56.349
Of donkeys.
507
00:24:56.670 --> 00:24:58.509
And nobody wants that.
508
00:24:58.829 --> 00:25:01.890
That is not making it onto ESPN.
509
00:25:01.970 --> 00:25:06.299
Nobody wants to be the fastest ass on the court.
510
00:25:06.420 --> 00:25:10.279
Okay, there are worse things that you could be, but
511
00:25:10.500 --> 00:25:11.160
definitely not.
512
00:25:11.180 --> 00:25:12.460
But the fastest burrow.
513
00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:17.099
Okay, so are you guys watching? You already watched The
514
00:25:17.140 --> 00:25:18.049
Last Dance, right?
515
00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:20.160
Oh, the Michael Jordan thing.
516
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:22.369
Yeah. Yeah. I've seen four episodes.
517
00:25:22.470 --> 00:25:24.599
Yeah. Did you stop? Are you not going to watch
518
00:25:24.640 --> 00:25:25.089
the rest
of it?
519
00:25:25.140 --> 00:25:26.980
Angela, I'm a busy man, okay? You're like, come on.
520
00:25:26.980 --> 00:25:28.259
You don't have.
521
00:25:27.980 --> 00:25:30.970
To like shame me. Priorities here.
522
00:25:31.029 --> 00:25:31.789
You don't have to like.
523
00:25:32.130 --> 00:25:34.289
I'm only on episode two. I'm not going to shame you.
524
00:25:34.369 --> 00:25:36.910
I'm only on episode two. Like binge shame me for
525
00:25:36.950 --> 00:25:38.430
seeing only four out.
526
00:25:38.349 --> 00:25:40.269
Of eight episodes. Well, I'm having a hard time delaying
527
00:25:40.289 --> 00:25:42.569
gratification because every time I start watching it, all I
528
00:25:42.589 --> 00:25:44.269
want to do is just watch it all the way through.
529
00:25:44.369 --> 00:25:47.210
So actually it's, okay. Anyway, the reason I bring it
530
00:25:47.289 --> 00:25:50.390
up is because people ask the question, if I trained
531
00:25:50.450 --> 00:25:53.509
for 10 or 20,000 hours, like, could I ever be
532
00:25:53.549 --> 00:25:54.250
Michael Jordan?
533
00:25:54.630 --> 00:25:54.849
Right.
534
00:25:54.890 --> 00:25:57.210
And I think for most people, it doesn't take much
535
00:25:57.349 --> 00:26:00.109
thinking to think like, nope, would definitely not be Michael Jordan,
536
00:26:00.190 --> 00:26:01.829
even if I trained for a hundred thousand hours.
537
00:26:01.910 --> 00:26:02.069
Right.
538
00:26:02.130 --> 00:26:05.160
So I, I disagreed a little bit with Anders on
539
00:26:05.180 --> 00:26:09.440
this and we had many spirited conversations, but I do
540
00:26:09.500 --> 00:26:15.930
believe that there are abilities that that are not equally
541
00:26:15.970 --> 00:26:19.210
distributed between all of us. Anybody could be Michael Phelps,
542
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:21.839
anybody could be Katie Ledecky, anybody could be fill in
543
00:26:21.859 --> 00:26:24.880
the blank. I think Anders may have been a little
544
00:26:24.900 --> 00:26:28.069
more skeptical that there really are things as talents that
545
00:26:28.509 --> 00:26:30.809
really limit what we can do. I think what we
546
00:26:30.849 --> 00:26:34.230
agreed on is that people are so far away from
547
00:26:34.269 --> 00:26:37.309
their potential that it's just like this hypothetical that they
548
00:26:37.329 --> 00:26:40.539
throw out. They're like, well, what if I really worked
549
00:26:40.579 --> 00:26:44.799
really hard? But I think if you're not even approaching
550
00:26:44.859 --> 00:26:49.039
that hypothetical limit in your actual life, it's a kind
551
00:26:49.079 --> 00:26:50.500
of silly almost like to ask.
552
00:26:50.519 --> 00:26:52.240
So Angela, not to put words in your mouth, but
553
00:26:52.940 --> 00:26:56.269
are you saying, and if you are, I agree entirely,
554
00:26:56.630 --> 00:27:02.190
that it's a false comparison To say, if I work
555
00:27:02.230 --> 00:27:03.849
hard at basketball, will I ever be as good as
556
00:27:03.890 --> 00:27:06.190
Michael Jordan? What they should be asking is, if I
557
00:27:06.230 --> 00:27:09.619
work harder than I am at any of these other
558
00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:12.470
hundred things, will I get much, much better at it?
559
00:27:12.759 --> 00:27:14.420
Yes, then I was, right?
560
00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:14.940
Yes.
561
00:27:15.460 --> 00:27:19.569
Because the comparison between you and other people, which is,
562
00:27:19.579 --> 00:27:21.920
by the way, totally natural, we all do it, is
563
00:27:21.990 --> 00:27:25.609
not as useful as the comparison of you and yourself, right?
564
00:27:25.630 --> 00:27:26.490
To what you could be.
565
00:27:26.970 --> 00:27:29.910
To what you could be, to what you want to be,
566
00:27:29.990 --> 00:27:32.509
to what you were, to today, to tomorrow. All those
567
00:27:32.569 --> 00:27:35.309
comparisons I think are very useful. The other ones are
568
00:27:35.569 --> 00:27:36.190
less useful.
569
00:27:36.210 --> 00:27:37.259
Very good.
570
00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:38.640
I think. Okay.
571
00:27:38.660 --> 00:27:39.539
So when should you give up?
572
00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:45.319
Oh, yeah. The quick question. I think there are occasions
573
00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:47.380
where we should give up. The times that we should
574
00:27:47.420 --> 00:27:51.599
give up are when there's something better you can do. Right.
575
00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:54.359
I mean, it's kind of that simple. In economics, they
576
00:27:54.380 --> 00:27:55.660
call it like opportunity cost.
577
00:27:55.809 --> 00:27:56.009
Right.
578
00:27:56.029 --> 00:27:57.369
Like when the opportunity costs.
579
00:27:57.390 --> 00:27:57.549
Right.
580
00:27:57.769 --> 00:27:59.529
So should I be doing this podcast anymore? I was like,
581
00:27:59.549 --> 00:28:02.730
I don't know. Maybe there's something better you could do. Right.
582
00:28:03.150 --> 00:28:07.069
I think that's giving up, you know, on a good day. Right.
583
00:28:07.089 --> 00:28:08.450
It's like, you know, I've been thinking about it.
584
00:28:08.789 --> 00:28:11.369
So I got one. I got one, Angela. So I
585
00:28:11.390 --> 00:28:15.910
have a cameo in Ice Age 5.
586
00:28:15.910 --> 00:28:17.779
What animal are you? Okay.
587
00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:18.880
I'm a weasel.
588
00:28:18.900 --> 00:28:19.980
So now.
589
00:28:21.180 --> 00:28:26.359
The critics said, of Ice Age 5, by the way,
590
00:28:26.380 --> 00:28:27.380
you didn't know there were four of them.
591
00:28:28.339 --> 00:28:30.039
Yeah, my kids are a little too old for that.
592
00:28:30.099 --> 00:28:31.799
Neither did I know that there were four when I
593
00:28:31.819 --> 00:28:35.900
read that. So one of the critics said, Ice Age
594
00:28:35.900 --> 00:28:39.109
5 makes it clear that this franchise should have gone
595
00:28:39.150 --> 00:28:40.349
extinct a long time ago.
596
00:28:40.410 --> 00:28:42.950
That's a good line. I love that.
597
00:28:43.190 --> 00:28:45.269
That was telling them they should quit.
They haven't made
598
00:28:45.309 --> 00:28:45.910
another one since.
599
00:28:46.390 --> 00:28:46.750
Oh, maybe.
600
00:28:46.769 --> 00:28:48.690
Yeah. Maybe the critic finally got to them. I mean, look,
601
00:28:48.869 --> 00:28:51.049
there are times where you're like, instead of making Ice
602
00:28:51.089 --> 00:28:53.529
Age six, like maybe there's something better we could do.
603
00:28:53.690 --> 00:28:53.950
Right.
604
00:28:54.009 --> 00:28:56.789
Like that really is always the rational answer. The thing
605
00:28:56.809 --> 00:29:00.380
that I also study, though, is like giving up too early.
606
00:29:00.759 --> 00:29:02.680
You know, there are people who like, you know, that
607
00:29:02.759 --> 00:29:05.880
initial discouragement. Right. You know, one thing that happens in
608
00:29:05.960 --> 00:29:09.000
life and you guys are both successful that, you know.
609
00:29:09.430 --> 00:29:11.869
That was flattery, but it was sincere. But, you know,
610
00:29:12.210 --> 00:29:15.390
you get into like bigger and bigger ponds, right? And
611
00:29:15.410 --> 00:29:17.839
like suddenly you're not the biggest fish in the pond anymore.
612
00:29:17.859 --> 00:29:19.619
You're in a much bigger pond. That's what it means
613
00:29:19.660 --> 00:29:21.940
to be successful is to move up like that. That
614
00:29:22.099 --> 00:29:25.059
initial drop in your ego, it almost feels like the
615
00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:27.609
bottom of your stomach falls. It's like, oh, wait, I'm
616
00:29:27.660 --> 00:29:30.430
not the special shiny one. I think a lot of
617
00:29:30.450 --> 00:29:33.130
people quit then, right? And like, I think that's too
618
00:29:33.190 --> 00:29:35.910
early to quit. Like you just transition into, you know,
619
00:29:35.970 --> 00:29:38.309
West Point, which I studied for, you know, more than
620
00:29:38.349 --> 00:29:40.519
a decade and that initial kind of like you are
621
00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:42.700
not number one you're not even number two half the
622
00:29:42.740 --> 00:29:45.920
people are below average right can you can you not.
623
00:29:45.819 --> 00:29:47.619
Quit no everyone's above average Angela.
624
00:29:48.140 --> 00:29:51.460
That's Lake Wobegon that's not uh that's not West Point
625
00:29:53.259 --> 00:29:55.240
so so I think you I think there are times
626
00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:56.900
you should quit you should quit when there's something better
627
00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:58.710
you can do but I don't always think that we're
628
00:29:58.730 --> 00:30:02.779
an emotionally like a clear-eyed frame of mind to make
629
00:30:02.819 --> 00:30:06.500
those decisions. And so I also think we should be
630
00:30:06.539 --> 00:30:07.759
careful not to quit too early.
631
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:08.640
Good one.
632
00:30:08.660 --> 00:30:13.440
You know, that's great. And I think your economic analogy
633
00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:19.460
of opportunity cost is really very useful because when the
634
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:24.789
cost of doing something greatly outweighs the benefits gleaned from
635
00:30:24.910 --> 00:30:25.400
doing it.
636
00:30:25.529 --> 00:30:26.329
Or the returns on it.
637
00:30:26.430 --> 00:30:30.230
Or the returns. It's It's no longer enjoyable. And so
638
00:30:30.289 --> 00:30:32.910
what you've done is taken that from a numbers standpoint
639
00:30:32.950 --> 00:30:36.769
and put it into human terms. Basically, look, if this
640
00:30:36.849 --> 00:30:40.089
is like not fun and you're not getting anything out
641
00:30:40.150 --> 00:30:42.319
of it and you're not getting any better and you're
642
00:30:42.430 --> 00:30:43.240
never going to be what.
643
00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:44.160
It is time.
644
00:30:44.319 --> 00:30:45.079
Maybe it's time.
645
00:30:45.819 --> 00:30:46.660
Yeah.
646
00:30:46.940 --> 00:30:49.119
Yeah, absolutely. I think that's exactly what it comes down to.
647
00:30:49.710 --> 00:30:50.630
All right. Awesome.
648
00:30:50.670 --> 00:30:52.109
Give me some more. All right. Here we go.
649
00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:56.430
This is Eric Varga from Facebook. And Eric says, hello, Dr.
650
00:30:56.490 --> 00:31:00.970
Tyson and Dr. Duckworth. I am a middle grade science
651
00:31:01.029 --> 00:31:02.569
and social studies teacher.
652
00:31:03.769 --> 00:31:04.529
Congratulations.
653
00:31:04.710 --> 00:31:05.119
Good for you.
654
00:31:05.130 --> 00:31:05.650
Definitely.
655
00:31:05.990 --> 00:31:09.680
One of the greatest issues facing our education system is
656
00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:14.099
the stigma surrounding failure and intelligence. Every year, I and
657
00:31:14.140 --> 00:31:18.380
my colleagues have students that help that we help overcome
658
00:31:18.619 --> 00:31:23.319
learned helplessness. What are some of the best practices that
659
00:31:23.460 --> 00:31:27.609
teachers and school systems can implement that could help students
660
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:34.009
achieve success beyond the framework of standardized test? Thank you
661
00:31:34.069 --> 00:31:34.549
so much.
662
00:31:34.970 --> 00:31:38.269
So, Angela, this sounds like it's right down the center
663
00:31:38.309 --> 00:31:43.410
line of your project for which you're CEO of character building.
664
00:31:43.670 --> 00:31:47.960
I mean, what's the term Chuckie used? There's a term there.
665
00:31:47.980 --> 00:31:49.140
Growth mindset?
666
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:53.940
He said that the stigma surrounding failure and intelligence and
667
00:31:54.099 --> 00:31:55.420
learned helplessness is what.
668
00:31:55.319 --> 00:31:59.220
He helps overcome. Learned helplessness. Angela, what is learned helplessness?
669
00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:01.960
Yeah, I'll zone in on that. I'll zoom in. I
670
00:32:01.980 --> 00:32:03.950
guess I'll zoom in on that. So one of the
671
00:32:03.970 --> 00:32:09.190
scientific advisors to Character Lab, this nonprofit I help run,
672
00:32:09.309 --> 00:32:12.170
is Marty Seligman. And he coined the
term learned helplessness
673
00:32:12.529 --> 00:32:16.130
about 50 years ago. So Marty is a psychologist. who
674
00:32:16.759 --> 00:32:19.619
was at the time he was studying dogs and he
675
00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:23.500
was doing these random assignment experiments where, for example, some
676
00:32:23.539 --> 00:32:28.140
dogs got painful electric shocks and they had a harness,
677
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:30.230
but they had a button in front, like a panel
678
00:32:30.589 --> 00:32:33.569
that if they leaned forward far enough, their button would
679
00:32:33.609 --> 00:32:35.890
touch the panel and then the panel would just like
680
00:32:36.009 --> 00:32:38.410
terminate the shock. So you couldn't control that the shocks
681
00:32:38.430 --> 00:32:40.789
were going to start, but you could end them. Right.
682
00:32:40.829 --> 00:32:42.869
So that's a group of dogs. Then there was another
683
00:32:42.910 --> 00:32:43.230
group of dogs.
684
00:32:43.250 --> 00:32:44.529
So this is 50 years ago when you could do
685
00:32:44.589 --> 00:32:45.269
experiments like that.
686
00:32:45.289 --> 00:32:47.450
You know, he's a total dog lover. I have to say,
687
00:32:47.470 --> 00:32:50.640
there's like, I can't even like explain these studies.
688
00:32:50.660 --> 00:32:52.460
Pita Pita wasn't invented yet.
689
00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:54.380
But it was okay because they got a treat.
690
00:32:56.380 --> 00:32:58.160
I don't even know if they got treats, to be
691
00:32:58.180 --> 00:32:58.779
totally honest.
692
00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:01.859
I'm pretty sure they didn't. That would confuse the actual experiment.
693
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.869
Yeah, exactly. They'd be like, we can't do that. You know,
694
00:33:04.930 --> 00:33:06.750
Marty would point out, by the way, that these were
695
00:33:06.769 --> 00:33:10.950
not dogs. They were just painful. So anyway, I don't
696
00:33:10.970 --> 00:33:12.890
know if that makes it feel any better.
697
00:33:14.250 --> 00:33:17.650
You're innocent, thousand-volt shock. That's all.
698
00:33:17.970 --> 00:33:20.009
Yeah, he might also point out that lots of people
699
00:33:20.069 --> 00:33:23.150
are doing these studies. But anyway, these dogs. So the
700
00:33:23.190 --> 00:33:25.539
point is that these dogs– there's another group of dogs
701
00:33:25.880 --> 00:33:28.380
that are what's called yoked to the first group of dogs.
702
00:33:28.420 --> 00:33:31.240
And that means that they are experiencing the same pattern
703
00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:33.539
of shocks, so the same schedule. So when shock goes
704
00:33:33.700 --> 00:33:35.740
on in one cage, it goes on the other. Then
705
00:33:35.799 --> 00:33:38.380
when one dog with the harness and the button turns
706
00:33:38.420 --> 00:33:40.829
it off, that other dog is sitting in another cage,
707
00:33:40.890 --> 00:33:42.390
can't see the first dog, but like all of a
708
00:33:42.410 --> 00:33:44.130
sudden the shock goes off. So if you're in that
709
00:33:44.210 --> 00:33:46.549
second group, all you experience is like shock comes on,
710
00:33:46.609 --> 00:33:49.430
shock goes off, shock comes on, shock goes off. You
711
00:33:49.450 --> 00:33:53.079
have no control. And what Marty discovered is that. The
712
00:33:53.099 --> 00:33:56.819
dogs in the cages that had no control over even
713
00:33:56.900 --> 00:33:59.200
terminating the shock, right? They have no control over anything.
714
00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:02.529
Just like bad stuff happens seemingly at random. They developed
715
00:34:02.789 --> 00:34:06.210
learned helplessness. They had a kind of basically it was
716
00:34:06.230 --> 00:34:09.670
like dog depression, right? Like they weren't eating right. They
717
00:34:09.710 --> 00:34:12.719
weren't sleeping right. And the most important thing was when
718
00:34:12.739 --> 00:34:16.260
you put the dog that just has had this experience
719
00:34:16.340 --> 00:34:18.539
of like things happen to you, you can't control them.
720
00:34:18.989 --> 00:34:21.090
You give them another situation. You put them in a
721
00:34:21.130 --> 00:34:24.030
different cage and you allow them to actually, you know,
722
00:34:24.130 --> 00:34:27.190
escape the shock because, you know, you unharness them. They
723
00:34:27.329 --> 00:34:29.630
they kind of like lie down and they don't they
724
00:34:29.650 --> 00:34:33.179
don't try. And that was learned helplessness. You learn that
725
00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:36.260
you're helpless. And I think a lot of teachers like
726
00:34:36.300 --> 00:34:39.639
middle school teachers, they see this happening, you know, not
727
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:42.800
with electric shocks, but they see kids fail things. And
728
00:34:42.860 --> 00:34:45.800
then for the kids, they learn that they can't do anything.
729
00:34:45.820 --> 00:34:48.130
They're like, look, I like I can't do math. I'm
730
00:34:48.170 --> 00:34:50.750
not like a math person. It's just like it's just impossible.
731
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:53.579
Chuck, Chuck, it's clear Angela's making the case for electric
732
00:34:53.599 --> 00:34:56.019
shocks in elementary school.
733
00:34:56.039 --> 00:34:58.889
Don't say that. Which, by the way, I am 100%
734
00:34:58.889 --> 00:34:59.610
for it.
735
00:34:59.949 --> 00:35:02.349
She just said that. Chuck, Chuck, I heard her say that.
736
00:35:02.469 --> 00:35:03.510
I'm 100% about it.
737
00:35:03.630 --> 00:35:05.989
This is where rumors get started.
738
00:35:06.090 --> 00:35:07.349
It is about time.
739
00:35:09.449 --> 00:35:11.570
You guys have just arranged this whole episode so that
740
00:35:11.670 --> 00:35:14.690
you can tee up Chuck for that layup.
741
00:35:14.829 --> 00:35:17.250
Where do we get the vest? That's what I want.
742
00:35:18.630 --> 00:35:19.969
You want to order them immediately.
743
00:35:20.289 --> 00:35:22.889
But no, that's– But it means such a thing exists.
744
00:35:22.989 --> 00:35:23.210
Yeah.
745
00:35:23.250 -->
00:35:23.820
And that's tragic.
746
00:35:23.840 --> 00:35:25.519
Yeah. I mean, have you guys ever felt that way
747
00:35:25.559 --> 00:35:28.019
about anything? Or maybe not because maybe you're more like
748
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:32.280
the resilient, you know, like individuals that Marty has studied.
749
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:34.840
Like do you identify at all with that story? Are
750
00:35:34.860 --> 00:35:36.619
you kind of like, oh, yeah, I kind of felt
751
00:35:36.659 --> 00:35:38.010
like that once or not really?
752
00:35:38.070 --> 00:35:42.230
I feel helpless on Twitter. Just learned helplessness.
753
00:35:42.769 --> 00:35:44.989
It's because bad things happen and you have no control
754
00:35:45.030 --> 00:35:45.590
over them.
755
00:35:45.710 --> 00:35:46.630
Say what they want.
756
00:35:46.769 --> 00:35:49.949
I think, I think it's very interesting that the way
757
00:35:50.230 --> 00:35:54.309
it's the, the way the experiment is presented, you know,
758
00:35:55.489 --> 00:36:00.420
it's persistent and pervasive. I think everybody has that.
759
00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:03.079
You know about Marty's research. If you're, if you're, if you're,
760
00:36:03.400 --> 00:36:07.260
you're using Marty's words, right. Like that, like when adversity
761
00:36:07.300 --> 00:36:10.059
happens and you perceive it to be persistent, like, this
762
00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:12.940
is not ending and pervasive. It's like, it's like, it,
763
00:36:13.510 --> 00:36:15.590
it seems like everything in your life is going wrong.
764
00:36:16.010 --> 00:36:18.710
I mean, and those are really like the cognitive hallmarks
765
00:36:18.750 --> 00:36:22.989
of depression, right? You're like, I can't do anything. It's everywhere.
766
00:36:23.070 --> 00:36:24.449
It's everything. It's not going to end.
767
00:36:25.349 --> 00:36:28.730
Because I think we all have that experience in some way,
768
00:36:29.289 --> 00:36:33.840
but what gives us the ability to take charge or
769
00:36:33.889 --> 00:36:37.489
to say that we will change is that, um, w
770
00:36:37.730 --> 00:36:43.329
we don't have the overwhelming depression, uh, we're not bearing that.
771
00:36:43.369 --> 00:36:46.380
Like there's nothing I can do. We actually, because, and
772
00:36:46.510 --> 00:36:48.940
also we've also had successes in the past.
773
00:36:49.579 --> 00:36:52.780
I think, I think that is really, truly like, you know,
774
00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:57.420
I don't want to oversimplify things, but like small mastery experiences,
775
00:36:57.460 --> 00:37:00.190
like small wins. I mean, just to answer this eighth
776
00:37:00.230 --> 00:37:04.090
grade teacher's you know, question a little more directly. Like,
777
00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:06.469
you know, I took a little bit of the long
778
00:37:06.530 --> 00:37:09.570
route getting there. But I really do think you have
779
00:37:09.610 --> 00:37:13.590
to engineer like small wins for young people so that.
780
00:37:13.730 --> 00:37:16.030
But Angela, they've already done that and it's handing out
781
00:37:16.090 --> 00:37:17.139
trophies for everything.
782
00:37:18.800 --> 00:37:21.679
I am not a big fan of like participant trophies.
783
00:37:21.820 --> 00:37:24.760
But this is what it is. There are no losers.
784
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:26.119
Everyone is a winner.
785
00:37:27.079 --> 00:37:28.449
I can guess how you feel about that.
786
00:37:28.969 --> 00:37:32.460
Oh, this is awesome. You guys are... Are you guys maybe... No,
787
00:37:32.500 --> 00:37:35.059
we're agreeing. No, no, no. I'm not talking about... I
788
00:37:35.079 --> 00:37:37.599
think you're telepathically connected to these questions.
789
00:37:37.820 --> 00:37:39.099
Oh, is that the next thing?
790
00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:42.070
Let's move into the next question.
791
00:37:42.150 --> 00:37:44.210
Chuck, we'll do exactly that when we come back for
792
00:37:44.230 --> 00:37:47.889
the third and final segment of StarTalk Cosmic Queries. The
793
00:37:47.949 --> 00:37:54.309
Grit Edition. When we return. We're back. StarTalk Cosmic Queries.
794
00:37:54.349 --> 00:37:59.070
The Grit Edition. with Angela Duckworth, one of the world's experts.
795
00:37:59.170 --> 00:38:01.039
I'm going to say the world's expert. Would you agree, Chuck?
796
00:38:01.400 --> 00:38:02.019
I would indeed.
797
00:38:02.340 --> 00:38:05.179
Well, not on everything, but maybe on grit.
798
00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:07.099
On grit. On grit.
799
00:38:07.139 --> 00:38:07.559
Maybe.
800
00:38:07.980 --> 00:38:10.300
So what do you do? Just before the break, you
801
00:38:10.340 --> 00:38:17.510
mentioned that small successes can help prevent you from falling
802
00:38:17.570 --> 00:38:20.530
into some kind of achievement funk where you might think
803
00:38:20.570 --> 00:38:23.150
that you will never achieve. But in the limit of that,
804
00:38:23.210 --> 00:38:28.300
you're getting trophies and medals and You're getting complimented under
805
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:32.840
circumstances that in a previous generation would have never been warranted. So, Chuck,
806
00:38:32.860 --> 00:38:35.090
you had a question that was exactly that. Yes. What
807
00:38:35.190 --> 00:38:36.090
was the question?
808
00:38:36.190 --> 00:38:46.510
You guys really teed up. Miriam Masarykova says, wants to
809
00:38:46.670 --> 00:38:48.050
know this. Hey, Dr. Tyson.
810
00:38:48.110 --> 00:38:48.590
Hey, Dr.
811
00:38:48.630 --> 00:38:53.750
Duckworth. I'm wondering if there is any relationship between grit
812
00:38:54.030 --> 00:39:02.159
and self-esteem. So now this goes to small wins, participation trophies. And,
813
00:39:02.539 --> 00:39:06.099
you know, is there something to do with how you
814
00:39:06.260 --> 00:39:10.840
feel about yourself that propels you to keep going? All right.
815
00:39:10.909 --> 00:39:14.510
So here's the answer. I think grit is more related
816
00:39:14.550 --> 00:39:18.210
to self-efficacy than self-esteem. And
I think this is the
817
00:39:18.230 --> 00:39:21.380
difference between getting participant trophies for being like eighth out
818
00:39:21.389 --> 00:39:23.980
of eighth or like anything you do, like, you know,
819
00:39:24.019 --> 00:39:26.199
your parents give you a standing ovation. I don't believe
820
00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:29.150
in any of that. You know, that is all about like.
821
00:39:29.429 --> 00:39:29.969
Let's make this work.
822
00:39:30.110 --> 00:39:32.400
Has- Wait, did you have kids? I do. I have
823
00:39:32.420 --> 00:39:35.340
a 19 year old, well, almost 19 and a, let's
824
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:36.139
just say 18 and 17.
825
00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:38.900
So did you give them standing ovations for their school play?
826
00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:41.739
I am pretty sure that if my girls came in here,
827
00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:43.980
like they would tell you that I was the opposite
828
00:39:44.019 --> 00:39:47.159
of the parent who was like, Everything is great.
829
00:39:47.199 --> 00:39:48.159
You're perfect.
830
00:39:48.460 --> 00:39:52.400
That's like what grandparents do. But I did actually experience
831
00:39:52.460 --> 00:39:55.619
this with them because they would also be living American
832
00:39:55.679 --> 00:39:59.500
life and there would be eighth place ribbons for being
833
00:39:59.599 --> 00:40:02.539
eighth out of eighth, which I didn't think was necessary
834
00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:06.550
or helpful. But I think the difference is this. When
835
00:40:06.590 --> 00:40:09.389
I say small wins, I'm not saying praise your kid
836
00:40:09.429 --> 00:40:11.190
for drinking their orange juice in the morning. What I'm
837
00:40:11.230 --> 00:40:14.050
saying is if you have a kid who's struggling, let's
838
00:40:14.070 --> 00:40:17.500
say with math or you know, foul shots, whatever it
839
00:40:17.579 --> 00:40:19.920
is they're struggling. You know, a great parent and a
840
00:40:19.980 --> 00:40:21.659
great coach and a great teacher, they all do the
841
00:40:21.679 --> 00:40:24.199
same thing, which is they figure out what is a
842
00:40:24.300 --> 00:40:26.980
challenge that is smaller than the one that this kid
843
00:40:27.019 --> 00:40:31.400
consistently fails, that is a stretch, but that they're likely
844
00:40:31.420 --> 00:40:33.179
to be able to master with some support. And there
845
00:40:33.199 --> 00:40:37.380
was this Russian psychologist named Vygotsky who thought that that
846
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:41.010
was basically the recipe for development through childhood, which is
847
00:40:41.050 --> 00:40:43.449
that You're a little kid. You're three years old. You
848
00:40:43.489 --> 00:40:46.469
can't reach something. But with a little bit of assistance,
849
00:40:46.489 --> 00:40:48.590
you might be able to reach just this much higher.
850
00:40:49.139 --> 00:40:51.340
And that's the thing that you need to do. You
851
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:54.360
have to like break down things that students are not
852
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:58.519
doing well consistently into smaller, more manageable parts.
853
00:40:58.739 --> 00:41:00.900
This means as a teacher or as a coach, you
854
00:41:00.920 --> 00:41:02.639
actually have to get to know your students.
855
00:41:03.260 --> 00:41:04.539
It's a lot of work, by the way.
856
00:41:04.559 --> 00:41:07.440
You have to work for that. Angela, be reasonable.
857
00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:10.409
There was this like– I mean, yeah, I know. This
858
00:41:10.429 --> 00:41:10.949
is a lot of work.
859
00:41:11.710 --> 00:41:13.250
The next thing you'll be telling me is that I
860
00:41:13.269 --> 00:41:15.469
need to parent my children instead of just letting the
861
00:41:15.530 --> 00:41:16.550
tablet do it.
862
00:41:17.329 --> 00:41:19.829
I know, right? It's starting to be unreasonable, right?
863
00:41:19.909 --> 00:41:21.010
Oh, yeah. Don't be unreasonable.
864
00:41:21.329 --> 00:41:22.650
I mean, it's not only a lot of work. I
865
00:41:22.670 --> 00:41:24.230
have to say it takes a lot of skill. I
866
00:41:24.230 --> 00:41:32.050
remember listening to this interview with a. U.S. Olympic gymnastic coach, right?
867
00:41:32.070 --> 00:41:33.690
And I'm sorry that I can't remember the name. It
868
00:41:34.050 --> 00:41:38.969
wasn't like Bella Carolli or anything. But the interviewer said,
869
00:41:39.170 --> 00:41:43.920
what is the secret to training these athletes to Olympic
870
00:41:43.940 --> 00:41:46.099
gold medals? And they were like, the secret to everything
871
00:41:46.239 --> 00:41:48.300
is to be able to break things down and then
872
00:41:48.320 --> 00:41:50.179
break them down again and then break them down again
873
00:41:50.260 --> 00:41:55.559
so that it's tractable. And I think that will lead
874
00:41:55.599 --> 00:41:58.730
to self-efficacy, which is the belief that you can do
875
00:41:58.789 --> 00:42:02.119
something if you try. as opposed to self-esteem, which is
876
00:42:02.179 --> 00:42:05.659
that you are just great. And I think that's.
877
00:42:05.539 --> 00:42:06.440
A big difference. Very important.
878
00:42:06.559 --> 00:42:07.139
Excellent.
879
00:42:07.400 --> 00:42:08.840
Excellent. Excellent.
880
00:42:09.099 --> 00:42:11.949
Well, I've got to tell you, I just wish Angela
881
00:42:11.969 --> 00:42:14.570
was like every guest that we ever have, because every
882
00:42:14.590 --> 00:42:17.969
time you say something, it leads to another question, which
883
00:42:17.989 --> 00:42:18.809
means I don't have to go searching.
884
00:42:18.829 --> 00:42:20.369
No one's ever going to believe that I don't actually
885
00:42:20.389 --> 00:42:21.030
know these questions.
886
00:42:21.110 --> 00:42:23.050
I know. It's amazing. It's amazing.
887
00:42:23.170 --> 00:42:23.690
I love it.
888
00:42:23.690 --> 00:42:28.050
All right. So Cara Clay from Facebook says, what does
889
00:42:28.070 --> 00:42:34.980
the science say about grit? in different generations. Popular
opinions
890
00:42:35.039 --> 00:42:38.880
suggest that young people, whether we define them as millennials
891
00:42:38.940 --> 00:42:41.510
or Gen Z or even younger, lack the resilience of
892
00:42:41.739 --> 00:42:44.110
older generations. But is it really true?
893
00:42:44.130 --> 00:42:44.949
And if so- That's right.
894
00:42:44.969 --> 00:42:46.769
They don't make them the way they used to.
895
00:42:48.030 --> 00:42:49.230
And if so- Get off my lawn.
896
00:42:49.250 --> 00:42:50.230
I'm not old enough to say that.
897
00:42:50.250 --> 00:42:51.949
Get off my lawn. I mean, you are old enough
898
00:42:51.969 --> 00:42:52.889
to say that.
899
00:42:53.010 --> 00:42:54.110
I'm older. Get off my lawn.
900
00:42:54.130 --> 00:42:55.849
Yeah, I'm probably old enough to say that.
901
00:42:55.869 --> 00:42:56.630
Back in my day.
902
00:42:57.909 --> 00:43:01.409
Is it because society is changing? Or is it because
903
00:43:01.610 --> 00:43:07.309
grit is developed and fine-tuned over one's lifetime and therefore
904
00:43:07.369 --> 00:43:11.389
younger people will always appear to be less resilient regardless
905
00:43:11.929 --> 00:43:14.429
of the generational identity?
906
00:43:14.449 --> 00:43:16.210
Right, so that would be a delusion of older people
907
00:43:16.300 --> 00:43:19.840
that they had grit when the younger generation doesn't. So Angela,
908
00:43:19.860 --> 00:43:20.219
what is it?
909
00:43:20.840 --> 00:43:23.539
And by the way, it's Dr. Cara Blakely from Ohio
910
00:43:23.579 --> 00:43:24.260
who goes by Cara.
911
00:43:24.280 --> 00:43:26.380
I was going to say Dr. Blakely. This is a
912
00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:28.599
10 out of 10 question. I was like, they should
913
00:43:28.639 --> 00:43:31.630
just get a little prize for having such a sophisticated,
914
00:43:31.650 --> 00:43:34.889
thoughtful question, which almost answers itself, right? Because it says, look,
915
00:43:34.909 --> 00:43:36.230
there's two possibilities, right?
916
00:43:36.289 --> 00:43:37.079
Right. If you grew up in the 50s.
917
00:43:38.019 --> 00:43:41.510
You know, culturally, you know, maybe you're different, right. Then
918
00:43:41.530 --> 00:43:45.130
somebody who grew up in, you know, the millenniums, the millennials, right. But,
919
00:43:45.429 --> 00:43:48.010
but here's the answer. The short answer is nobody knows
920
00:43:48.110 --> 00:43:50.050
because I don't have a time machine and I, I
921
00:43:50.449 --> 00:43:53.190
can't go back and measure these generations of people who
922
00:43:53.210 --> 00:43:55.840
came before us. That's a really short answer. I don't know. Right.
923
00:43:56.139 --> 00:43:59.840
But the longer answer is that, um, it's, it's, it's
924
00:44:00.340 --> 00:44:04.340
scientists are debating like how much of like people's personalities
925
00:44:04.460 --> 00:44:06.829
is generational and right? So there is this idea of
926
00:44:06.869 --> 00:44:12.130
generation me, like narcissistic, you know, inflated
self-esteem, etc. But
927
00:44:12.150 --> 00:44:14.489
there are scientists who are on both sides of this debate.
928
00:44:15.449 --> 00:44:20.460
And they publish papers saying their own sides. My guess is, though,
929
00:44:20.500 --> 00:44:24.019
in terms of this, you know, what's the ratio, say
930
00:44:24.039 --> 00:44:26.280
there are generational changes, which I just told you, like,
931
00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:28.000
I can't go back in time and measure, but let's
932
00:44:28.039 --> 00:44:31.550
assume that there are. My guess is that more of
933
00:44:31.619 --> 00:44:35.889
it is from maturation than from you know, like the
934
00:44:35.949 --> 00:44:38.769
decade that you were born in. And it is really
935
00:44:38.849 --> 00:44:41.250
hard to be 50, which is how old I am.
936
00:44:41.610 --> 00:44:43.840
And like, look at a 20 year old. And it's
937
00:44:43.969 --> 00:44:46.519
really hard to remember what I was like when I
938
00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:49.639
was 20. So, so often we're like, God, what's wrong
939
00:44:49.659 --> 00:44:52.139
with you? You know, you grew up in the wrong generation,
940
00:44:52.179 --> 00:44:55.119
but really they're just 20. They're like literally half your age,
941
00:44:55.550 --> 00:44:56.670
less than half your age.
942
00:44:57.269 --> 00:45:00.800
Right, right. But it is funny. I remember thinking when
943
00:45:00.840 --> 00:45:03.340
I was 21, yeah, I was badass. And now I
944
00:45:03.360 --> 00:45:05.179
look back and I say, I didn't know shit about anything.
945
00:45:05.239 --> 00:45:07.219
Right? I mean, like most of us were just total
946
00:45:07.280 --> 00:45:09.139
idiots when we were younger, but we forget.
947
00:45:10.219 --> 00:45:13.039
No, I think you're right. Well, it's a fantastic question,
948
00:45:13.079 --> 00:45:13.960
I have to tell you.
949
00:45:14.119 --> 00:45:14.719
I know.
950
00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:16.510
I would like to just put a little gold star
951
00:45:16.570 --> 00:45:17.329
next to that question.
952
00:45:17.349 --> 00:45:19.909
Thank you, Cara Clay or Dr.
953
00:45:19.929 --> 00:45:22.489
Lee. And Cara, with that gold star, you'll do anything.
954
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:23.619
Even better next time.
955
00:45:23.639 --> 00:45:25.840
Yes, exactly.
956
00:45:26.000 --> 00:45:28.300
You've been encouraged to take that little increment.
957
00:45:28.340 --> 00:45:30.500
Another step. We want to see an even more sophisticated
958
00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:31.159
question next time.
959
00:45:31.300 --> 00:45:31.980
Absolutely.
960
00:45:32.280 --> 00:45:36.110
All right, let's move on to Ursula Lawrence. Did either
961
00:45:36.150 --> 00:45:39.449
of you ever learn to grit it out as a child,
962
00:45:39.789 --> 00:45:42.969
or did that come later on? Now, I ask this
963
00:45:43.289 --> 00:45:51.050
for selfish reasons. One, I grew up under... The auspices
964
00:45:51.510 --> 00:45:52.969
of tough it out.
965
00:45:53.469 --> 00:45:55.530
Wait, you're not speaking personally.
966
00:45:55.590 --> 00:45:58.030
Is that you or the person asking?
967
00:45:58.050 --> 00:45:59.030
This is me personally.
968
00:45:59.050 --> 00:46:01.829
This is why I'm asking Ursula's question because I want
969
00:46:01.849 --> 00:46:04.429
to know if my parents were bad parents and am
970
00:46:04.550 --> 00:46:07.349
I a bad parent? Because I was raised that way,
971
00:46:07.369 --> 00:46:10.849
I am a tough it out kind of parent, which
972
00:46:10.909 --> 00:46:13.690
means if it ain't that bad, you need to handle
973
00:46:13.730 --> 00:46:16.719
it on your own. Don't come to me. That's the
974
00:46:16.760 --> 00:46:19.880
way my parents did. Now, people, when I say that
975
00:46:19.900 --> 00:46:23.480
to people, other parents at the park look at me
976
00:46:23.539 --> 00:46:27.099
like I am out of my freaking gourd. Give me
977
00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:28.460
an example, Chuck.
978
00:46:28.480 --> 00:46:31.300
Give me an example. And also, how old is the kid?
979
00:46:31.420 --> 00:46:33.159
Give me really specific.
980
00:46:33.199 --> 00:46:37.920
All right, six years old girl. I am a proponent
981
00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:43.400
of reinforcing that she is able to do Whatever she
982
00:46:43.440 --> 00:46:46.179
wants to do. And that means I cannot come to
983
00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:50.460
her aid every single time she is having difficulty. So
984
00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:52.469
she's climbing the wall at the park. They have a
985
00:46:52.550 --> 00:46:53.309
rock climbing wall.
986
00:46:53.650 --> 00:46:54.010
Okay.
987
00:46:54.610 --> 00:46:56.730
She gets up to a certain point and I noticed
988
00:46:56.769 --> 00:46:59.730
she always stops and comes back down. I know it's
989
00:46:59.769 --> 00:47:02.150
because she's afraid to go any higher than that.
990
00:47:02.550 --> 00:47:02.710
Yeah.
991
00:47:02.989 --> 00:47:05.429
So I go over and I say, you know, you
992
00:47:05.449 --> 00:47:07.510
can make that, right? You can go ahead and you
993
00:47:07.530 --> 00:47:09.679
can make that. Well, go up to the top and
994
00:47:09.719 --> 00:47:12.300
get my hand. I can't do that. But you can
995
00:47:12.340 --> 00:47:14.599
make that. Go ahead and do it. I'm telling you.
996
00:47:15.519 --> 00:47:19.059
We have some pushback back and forth because she's scared.
997
00:47:19.860 --> 00:47:24.809
She does it. And then she's like, I did it. Like, yeah,
998
00:47:24.869 --> 00:47:29.880
right now. When the pushback was happening, the other moms
999
00:47:29.900 --> 00:47:32.000
were looking at me like, oh, he's one of those. Like,
1000
00:47:32.039 --> 00:47:34.690
who are you? Yeah, he's one of those, like, pushy
1001
00:47:35.329 --> 00:47:36.429
sports dads.
1002
00:47:36.909 --> 00:47:39.500
He's a pushy sports dad. Yeah.
1003
00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:40.019
Yeah.
1004
00:47:40.059 --> 00:47:41.230
And they were tis-tisking you?
1005
00:47:41.239 --> 00:47:43.400
And they were tis-tisking me and
they were like, look at,
1006
00:47:43.659 --> 00:47:47.380
and you know, plus I'm the only black dude there.
1007
00:47:49.260 --> 00:47:50.750
So they were trying not to look like they were
1008
00:47:50.789 --> 00:47:51.789
tis-tisking you.
1009
00:47:51.869 --> 00:47:52.230
Right.
1010
00:47:52.269 --> 00:47:53.829
Yeah. Secretly tis-tisking.
1011
00:47:54.429 --> 00:47:56.510
But it comes from the fact that that's what was
1012
00:47:56.570 --> 00:47:57.150
done to me.
1013
00:47:57.650 --> 00:48:00.909
Yeah. I mean, demanding is good. You know, obviously. So
1014
00:48:00.989 --> 00:48:03.320
that story tells me that, you know, you weren't asking
1015
00:48:03.360 --> 00:48:06.949
your daughter to do something, which- was impossible, right? Like
1016
00:48:07.159 --> 00:48:09.449
you're asking your daughter to go just a little farther
1017
00:48:09.489 --> 00:48:12.389
than she was comfortable. And you knew that without you,
1018
00:48:12.409 --> 00:48:16.730
you know, encouraging her, like, like she wouldn't. And I
1019
00:48:16.769 --> 00:48:20.070
think that's exactly what this Russian psychologist Vygotsky meant is
1020
00:48:20.090 --> 00:48:21.989
that kids need to be asked to do things that
1021
00:48:22.010 --> 00:48:26.289
are just like, just beyond their reach. And Vygotsky also said,
1022
00:48:26.570 --> 00:48:29.090
it's like, just what you like, can't you do, but
1023
00:48:29.309 --> 00:48:32.010
if you had support, you would be able to do right.
1024
00:48:32.230 --> 00:48:35.179
So just, you know, imagine the visual picture of your
1025
00:48:35.219 --> 00:48:38.739
six-year-old daughter trying to reach something, right? And it's four
1026
00:48:38.820 --> 00:48:42.199
inches away, but you give her like just a little boost.
1027
00:48:42.239 --> 00:48:44.699
And I think that's what, and then they're like, oh,
1028
00:48:44.719 --> 00:48:48.159
I can do it. And Vygotsky, well, it was Russian,
1029
00:48:48.219 --> 00:48:51.039
but the term translated would be like scaffolding. Like that's
1030
00:48:51.079 --> 00:48:53.610
what parents are there to do, to be demanding, but
1031
00:48:53.659 --> 00:48:56.949
also to provide, you know, the support just so that
1032
00:48:56.989 --> 00:49:00.630
it's not It's not impossible. And I agree with you.
1033
00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:02.739
You know, the one thing about parents judging other parents
1034
00:49:03.079 --> 00:49:06.369
is that from the outside, you can't really tell whether
1035
00:49:06.389 --> 00:49:10.389
somebody is being, you know, too demanding, not demanding enough.
1036
00:49:10.710 --> 00:49:13.070
You know, they just not enough information. So if I
1037
00:49:13.090 --> 00:49:16.670
just saw you in the park parenting your little girl, honestly,
1038
00:49:16.690 --> 00:49:18.809
I wouldn't be able to tell you what parenting style
1039
00:49:18.829 --> 00:49:21.119
you had because it's too demanding. much like context and
1040
00:49:21.139 --> 00:49:23.860
so forth. But as a parent, you yourself know everything.
1041
00:49:23.880 --> 00:49:25.500
And I think you just have to ask yourself, like,
1042
00:49:26.099 --> 00:49:29.039
am I being demanding enough? And am I being supportive enough?
1043
00:49:29.460 --> 00:49:33.420
So the key point here is Chuck knew that this
1044
00:49:33.519 --> 00:49:37.380
little increment that his daughter was afraid of, that she
1045
00:49:37.519 --> 00:49:39.670
could do it if she tried. It was not an
1046
00:49:39.710 --> 00:49:43.409
impossible task. It wasn't grow wings and fly to the top.
1047
00:49:43.510 --> 00:49:46.780
It was this little extra increment, which became that much
1048
00:49:46.820 --> 00:49:48.199
more of an achievement for her, the fact that you
1049
00:49:48.219 --> 00:49:48.679
didn't help her.
1050
00:49:49.300 --> 00:49:51.239
Right, exactly. And that's the difference between that and a
1051
00:49:51.260 --> 00:49:54.139
participant ribbon also, right? Because that's just giving a person
1052
00:49:54.500 --> 00:49:57.900
a ribbon for not stretching, right? And it makes all
1053
00:49:57.920 --> 00:49:58.340
the difference.
1054
00:49:58.960 --> 00:50:01.519
Right. So getting back to the question, I would say
1055
00:50:01.860 --> 00:50:06.070
for me, I didn't need grit in doing what I
1056
00:50:06.119 --> 00:50:06.610
love to do.
1057
00:50:07.949 --> 00:50:08.809
Which is physics.
1058
00:50:09.150 --> 00:50:10.469
Yeah, just science.
1059
00:50:10.710 --> 00:50:12.710
So you didn't have to use discipline because you just
1060
00:50:12.750 --> 00:50:13.309
wanted to do it.
1061
00:50:13.530 --> 00:50:15.530
Yeah, I just wanted to do it. I derived pleasure
1062
00:50:15.829 --> 00:50:18.280
from the act of doing it and learning more. So
1063
00:50:18.469 --> 00:50:20.739
at no time could I or would I have ever
1064
00:50:21.119 --> 00:50:24.019
called that grit. There are other things that I had
1065
00:50:24.039 --> 00:50:26.320
a really hard job one summer when I was in
1066
00:50:26.360 --> 00:50:28.800
high school. I wasn't paid very much. I was a
1067
00:50:29.039 --> 00:50:31.559
junior counselor, but we did all kinds of other things,
1068
00:50:31.619 --> 00:50:35.539
and it was a nightmare. But I thought... I realized
1069
00:50:35.579 --> 00:50:37.159
that there's a point where it ends. You know, the
1070
00:50:37.179 --> 00:50:38.789
summer ends, the days go by. I felt like the
1071
00:50:39.110 --> 00:50:42.670
prisoner putting X's on the calendar. There's a point where
1072
00:50:42.750 --> 00:50:45.550
this ends. And so I needed some grit.
1073
00:50:45.570 --> 00:50:47.190
Well, let me, let me, you can use the word
1074
00:50:47.210 --> 00:50:50.690
grit however you want, honestly. But like when I say grit,
1075
00:50:50.710 --> 00:50:53.269
the reason I say passion and perseverance is that I
1076
00:50:53.309 --> 00:50:55.900
really do think that gritty people, they're not using a
1077
00:50:55.909 --> 00:50:58.119
lot of
self-control to do what they're doing. They're doing
1078
00:50:58.159 --> 00:50:59.230
it because they do love it.
1079
00:50:59.340 --> 00:51:03.940
For me, grit is something goes wrong. And do you
1080
00:51:04.019 --> 00:51:05.079
recover from that?
1081
00:51:06.219 --> 00:51:06.440
Yeah.
1082
00:51:06.460 --> 00:51:07.860
I don't want to define a word that you wrote
1083
00:51:07.880 --> 00:51:09.250
a book on, but that's how.
1084
00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:12.599
You can do that. I mean, I think that's like
1085
00:51:12.679 --> 00:51:16.800
stamina is, is like, you know, keeping going when you're not,
1086
00:51:17.460 --> 00:51:19.929
you know, when things are going wrong and it's like
1087
00:51:20.139 --> 00:51:23.550
staying engaged. I mean, you know, like Isaac Newton and Einstein,
1088
00:51:23.570 --> 00:51:27.429
they both said that like the behind their genius, they
1089
00:51:27.449 --> 00:51:29.389
probably didn't say it was genius, but whatever, like behind
1090
00:51:29.429 --> 00:51:33.320
their accomplishments and, that they were still trying to solve
1091
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:36.670
the same problems. And to your point, that only happens
1092
00:51:36.710 --> 00:51:40.590
when you intrinsically are interested. All I really mean by
1093
00:51:40.650 --> 00:51:44.130
grit is the sustained over time part.
1094
00:51:44.530 --> 00:51:46.909
Also, I used to wrestle. I wrestled for like eight
1095
00:51:46.949 --> 00:51:50.869
years of my life. And that is the single hardest
1096
00:51:50.969 --> 00:51:55.349
physical thing I've ever done. And by the way, anyone
1097
00:51:55.409 --> 00:52:00.050
who has wrestled will say exactly that same sentence. If
1098
00:52:00.090 --> 00:52:00.989
you haven't wrestled.
1099
00:52:01.050 --> 00:52:03.610
You'll mention... Does that count emotionally? Like when you've wrestled
1100
00:52:03.650 --> 00:52:07.369
with things emotionally? Like I have for so very long.
1101
00:52:07.409 --> 00:52:11.800
Or wrestled with what to order for lunch or all
1102
00:52:11.820 --> 00:52:13.260
kinds of wrestling. It's all the same.
1103
00:52:13.400 --> 00:52:16.079
I've wrestled a lot of things. Yeah, I don't know
1104
00:52:16.099 --> 00:52:17.940
if it's the same. We have to ask Angela about that.
1105
00:52:18.460 --> 00:52:23.050
But I just know that if you've never wrestled and
1106
00:52:23.070 --> 00:52:25.829
you've done any other sport, you could list a dozen
1107
00:52:25.909 --> 00:52:28.489
other sports there. But if you've wrestled, Your answer will
1108
00:52:28.510 --> 00:52:31.510
be wrestling. And I've done that experiment. And it's really there.
1109
00:52:32.130 --> 00:52:36.269
So in terms of just the physical exhaustion and how
1110
00:52:36.369 --> 00:52:37.159
fit you have to be.
1111
00:52:37.179 --> 00:52:39.519
So what would your life be like if you hadn't wrestled? Oh,
1112
00:52:40.059 --> 00:52:40.800
good question.
1113
00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:44.360
There are many places I would have just given up.
1114
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:47.400
Because I said, I don't have the energy to complete this.
1115
00:52:47.420 --> 00:52:49.320
Even though you loved what you did.
1116
00:52:49.340 --> 00:52:51.800
No, no. For other things where, let's say, there are
1117
00:52:51.820 --> 00:52:53.760
things sometimes you have to do if you don't completely
1118
00:52:53.800 --> 00:52:54.039
love it.
1119
00:52:54.460 --> 00:52:56.469
Right. That's what I wanted to say. So even though
1120
00:52:56.489 --> 00:52:59.510
you love what you do so much, right, there's some
1121
00:52:59.590 --> 00:53:01.630
things where you're like, oh, God, I want to give up.
1122
00:53:01.710 --> 00:53:02.969
Or like, oh, God, I want to do this.
1123
00:53:03.130 --> 00:53:04.570
I'm going to quote a famous writer who I don't
1124
00:53:04.590 --> 00:53:06.929
remember who said, I like having written.
1125
00:53:08.329 --> 00:53:12.530
Oh, yeah. You know what? Writers say those things all
1126
00:53:12.570 --> 00:53:14.719
the time. They're always whining about how hard it is
1127
00:53:14.739 --> 00:53:15.559
to write.
1128
00:53:15.679 --> 00:53:19.019
I wrote a column every month for Natural History Magazine.
1129
00:53:19.039 --> 00:53:23.360
Damn near killed me. The deadline just creeps up.
1130
00:53:23.380 --> 00:53:27.599
What about your book? How about your best-selling book? How
1131
00:53:27.619 --> 00:53:28.340
much work was that?
1132
00:53:29.699 --> 00:53:33.400
That was a collection of essays I had written, but
1133
00:53:33.440 --> 00:53:36.340
I remembered the effort of every single sentence and the
1134
00:53:36.409 --> 00:53:39.730
choice of words. And now I step back and look
1135
00:53:39.750 --> 00:53:42.570
at it. Yeah, that works together there. And that's a thing.
1136
00:53:43.409 --> 00:53:45.650
What was a bigger effort was my war book, which
1137
00:53:45.690 --> 00:53:48.130
I had a co-author, with 600 pages. And it was
1138
00:53:48.130 --> 00:53:50.119
10 years in the writing, and you say to yourself,
1139
00:53:50.139 --> 00:53:52.010
this will never get finished, this will never get done.
1140
00:53:52.250 --> 00:53:55.110
Of course, having done a PhD thesis, that also has
1141
00:53:55.150 --> 00:53:59.829
a never-ending feel to it. So that's a.
1142
00:54:00.309 --> 00:54:03.210
So was wrestling helpful during those moments?
1143
00:54:03.469 --> 00:54:06.050
Yes, even when I'm not actually wrestling. So I think
1144
00:54:06.409 --> 00:54:09.610
the idea that you're in a struggle and you overcome
1145
00:54:09.650 --> 00:54:11.309
the struggle and it's one of the great struggles of
1146
00:54:11.349 --> 00:54:15.030
your life, I agree with Chuck that it can apply
1147
00:54:15.070 --> 00:54:19.059
in other dimensions. to what are the challenges are in
1148
00:54:19.079 --> 00:54:21.340
your life. And that's, then I've done that. So that's
1149
00:54:21.380 --> 00:54:23.119
how I answer that question.
1150
00:54:23.320
--> 00:54:26.880
I think that's why parents send their kids to, you know,
1151
00:54:27.099 --> 00:54:29.380
do hard things. Not that they think they're going to
1152
00:54:29.400 --> 00:54:36.019
be like professional wrestlers, for example, for example, or professional, whatever.
1153
00:54:36.460 --> 00:54:37.639
Challenges, challenges of life.
1154
00:54:37.699 --> 00:54:39.340
It's challenges. Yeah. Yeah.
1155
00:54:39.429 --> 00:54:44.389
I agree. I'm reminded of Don Quixote where, where there are,
1156
00:54:45.150 --> 00:54:47.150
or at least in Man of La Mancha, the Broadway
1157
00:54:47.190 --> 00:54:53.139
musical and the song, to reach the unreachable star, to
1158
00:54:53.320 --> 00:54:56.940
move the immovable object, to fight the unbeatable foe, that
1159
00:54:57.460 --> 00:55:00.860
if you have struggled and you know what it is
1160
00:55:00.940 --> 00:55:03.780
to struggle, even if you do not see the end
1161
00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:07.400
in sight, you can tap that source of energy and
1162
00:55:07.440 --> 00:55:12.320
inspiration and emotion to keep you going because you might succeed. Right.
1163
00:55:12.360 --> 00:55:14.199
You can learn to strive. Right?
1164
00:55:14.730 --> 00:55:16.690
There you go. That's the way. What a great. That's
1165
00:55:16.730 --> 00:55:18.389
very poetic. I love it. Learn to strive.
1166
00:55:18.429 --> 00:55:19.349
Learn to strive.
1167
00:55:19.690 --> 00:55:23.809
Make it into a Broadway musical. Yeah.
1168
00:55:23.849 --> 00:55:26.070
We got to wrap this up. But Chuck, I don't
1169
00:55:26.090 --> 00:55:27.179
think we have time for any more questions.
1170
00:55:27.280 --> 00:55:30.940
No, we don't. But I got to tell you something. One, two, three, four.
1171
00:55:31.519 --> 00:55:33.619
I still have five pages.
1172
00:55:33.960 --> 00:55:37.429
Pages. Five pages of questions. That means we come back
1173
00:55:37.469 --> 00:55:41.630
to this topic. If Angela... deigned to grant us another.
1174
00:55:41.650 --> 00:55:43.789
They keep you out of the lab, Neil. You're like,
1175
00:55:43.909 --> 00:55:48.940
God damn it. I've got this burden. Named Angela Duckworth.
1176
00:55:48.980 --> 00:55:50.559
We will totally bring her back because this is a
1177
00:55:50.780 --> 00:55:54.239
very important subject for parents, for people who want to succeed,
1178
00:55:54.320 --> 00:55:57.179
people trying to get out of the doldrums. So, Angela,
1179
00:55:57.360 --> 00:55:58.840
always good to have you. I get to say that
1180
00:55:58.900 --> 00:55:59.619
because it's our second time.
1181
00:55:59.639 --> 00:56:00.480
Because we're like friends.
1182
00:56:00.739 --> 00:56:04.429
We're totally there. Always good to have you. Chuck, you're
1183
00:56:04.449 --> 00:56:04.849
there for us.
1184
00:56:04.869 --> 00:56:05.710
Always a pleasure.
1185
00:56:05.730 --> 00:56:10.250
Alright, man. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson. your personal astrophysicist. As always,
1186
00:56:10.309 --> 00:56:12.090
bidding you to keep looking up.