РАСШИФРОВКА 🔗
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You can tell a lot about a person by what's in their glass.
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Sometimes it says, "I appreciate true craftsmanship." And sometimes it says, "I'm going to explain
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my crypto portfolio to you at a child's birthday party."
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I'm Tim Fulton, and this is Character Proof.
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Tasting notes and character flaws.
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In every episode we pour one bottle — bourbon, scotch, tequila, whatever's on the shelf — give
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it an honest tasting, and then lovingly, specifically roast the exact person who drinks it on purpose.
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So grab a glass, pull up a chair. Let's get pouring.
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Rittenhouse Rye is a bottled-in-bond workhorse from Heaven Hill — one hundred proof by law, four years
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minimum by law, one distillery, one season, all by law,
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which makes bottled-in-bond the federal government's only good contribution to cocktail hour.
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It runs about twenty-seven dollars, and it is quietly one of the most important bottles in America,
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because when the cocktail renaissance needed a rye that could stand up in a Manhattan without
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bankrupting the bar, this was the answer,
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and it still is.
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The nose is rye spice, cocoa, and citrus pith over caramel.
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The palate is sturdy and dry — pepper and clove up front, then chocolate, a little mint, orange
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oil — and the finish is warm, spicy, and structured,
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less a solo performance than a load-bearing wall.
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And that's the thing:
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this whiskey was born to be built with.
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Sip it neat and it's good.
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Put it in a Manhattan and it's correct.
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Which brings us to Miles Abernathy, for whom "correct" is not a compliment but a destination,
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and the Manhattan is not a drink but a thesis
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he has been defending, at home, nightly, for six years.
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Miles is thirty-three, works in academic publishing, and owns more bar equipment than several
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bars we could name.
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The home setup has zones.
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There is a jeweled ice press —
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Julian Reyes makes clear ice;
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Miles makes clear ice with facets —
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a lever-action crystal mixing glass, three sizes of julep strainer, and a small refrigerated
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drawer, installed at real expense, containing only vermouth,
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because Miles believes — correctly, maddeningly — that you are storing your vermouth wrong.
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It's wine, he'll tell you, uninvited, hand already moving toward your pantry in
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gentle rescue.
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It's fortified wine,
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it's been open since March, and what you have there is not an ingredient,
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it's a haunting.
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Watch him build the Manhattan, because the build is the point.
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Rittenhouse, two ounces, because — and here comes the sermon, settle in — at a hundred proof
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it "carries the vermouth" instead of drowning in it,
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and bonded means consistency, and consistency means the variables are his.
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Stir, never shake —
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shaking a Manhattan, in Miles's cosmology, sits somewhere between a parking violation
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and arson.
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Fifty revolutions, counted silently.
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The cherry is a Luxardo, obviously;
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there is a jar;
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the jar has a designated spoon;
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the spoon has never touched anything else and never will.
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The orange peel is expressed over the surface at a distance Miles has settled on through
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what he calls "testing," meaning years,
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and the peel is then draped, not dropped, because a dropped peel is a peel that has
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given up.
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And when he hands it over he doesn't say "here" —
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he says "tell me what you think,"
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which sounds like a question and is in fact a quiz.
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The drink, it must be said, is magnificent.
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It is always magnificent.
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That's the maddening engine of the whole personality:
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the results keep vindicating the process,
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the way Theo's margaritas keep vindicating the sermon.
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Here's the thesis:
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Miles doesn't actually drink much whiskey —
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one cocktail a night, occasionally two on a weekend, measured to the quarter-ounce.
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What Miles drinks is control.
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Publishing is chaos,
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peer
Load full transcript
review is chaos,
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his inbox is a war crime —
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but at nine p.m., in a two-hundred-milliliter system with five variables, the world becomes fully
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knowable.
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Every variable in the Manhattan answers to him —
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the proof is bonded and fixed,
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the vermouth is fresh because he refrigerated it,
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the dilution is a function of stir count and he counts the stirs —
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and in a life where a manuscript can be four years late and a reviewer can be cruel for
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no reason, there is exactly one system Miles has ever fully solved,
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and he solves it again, correctly, every single night.
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The pour is a means;
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the build is the point;
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the whiskey is the one manuscript that always comes back accepted.
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And here's the affectionate part, because there's always one.
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All that apparatus points outward.
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Miles's Manhattans are made for people —
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the neighbor going through the divorce gets one on the porch,
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the visiting author gets one that ruins hotel bars forever,
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and every houseguest leaves with a typed recipe card,
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actually typed, on a typewriter, which is insufferable and also the nicest thing
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anyone's done for them all month.
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The vermouth lecture is a love language with a refrigeration requirement.
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So count the fifty revolutions, Miles, and hand it over —
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we'll tell you what we think:
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it's magnificent,
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it's always magnificent,
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you know it's magnificent.
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A twenty-seven dollar rye, a federal law from 1897, and a man who believes your evening deserves
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peer review.
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The system works.
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The wall bears the load.
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Class dismissed.
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Well, the glass is empty, and the verdict is in.
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That's going to do it for this episode of Character Proof.
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If you saw yourself in tonight's pour — first of all, we love you.
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Second, hit subscribe, leave a five-star review, and send this to the friend whose
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bar cart costs more than their car.
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Got a bottle you want us to put on trial?
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Drop it in the reviews or find us on socials, and you just might be next week's
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character.
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Until next time: drink responsibly, pour generously, and always check your
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character flaws.
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Cheers.