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Welcome to Unexpectedly Successful.
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Join us to hear their raw and genuine stories of women founders who have created their own pathways to possibilities.
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Dear audience, welcome back to another amazing episode of Unexpectedly Successful, the podcast that brings to you the raw and genuine stories of women founders who, despite it all, have been successful.
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Today we have an incredible woman with me to share her own founder story, dr Chauvan Parat.
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She is a life and marriage coach with the business relatable LLC.
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I'm going to brag about Dr Chauvan because she is an incredible coach and I'm excited for all the nuggets that you're going to get from here and the life coaching and marriage coaching, but also in the business field.
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So she is a woman of multiple hats.
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She owns her business, which was launched during the maternity leave of her first child.
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She has two little ones, seven and nine and as well as being the CEO and founder of this company, she is a stay home mom.
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She has a six, a multiple six figure business that she's most proud of and will dig into it in a little bit.
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And she is most proud of the results that she gets to her clients, and one of the examples is this couple that came into one of her retreats and this couple was done.
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It was the last chance for this relationship and a few years later they're not only staying as a couple but they are part of the leadership of Dr Chauvan's retreats and now they're thriving as a couple and I am excited to get into the nitty gritty.
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So welcome, dr Chauvan.
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I'm excited for this conversation.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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I'm really excited to be here as well.
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Awesome.
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Well, Dr Chauvan, the first question I have for you what is being Dr Chauvan for you as a person?
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As a coach.
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I'm always into personal development for myself, and I was chatting with a friend today, actually, about a book that I'm reading, and one of the questions in the book asks who are you?
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And so I was like I'm going to ask myself this question every day and I'm going to sit with the answer, and so I'm going to give you the answer that came today.
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Awesome, and the answer that came today is I am great, I am one of the great ones, and the reason that I offer that is because I'm in a season of my business where, like circumstantially, given the history of things, that doesn't really feel like my reality, but it is also something that I know in my core is true about me as a person, and I think just even that idea and that nugget for listeners, for anyone building a business, for anyone in entrepreneurship there are so many days and so many moments and so many seasons in your business where you have to believe in what you know is true, whether it's actually what is in front of you right now or what you're building towards, and so that's what it's like I'm great, I am a great mother, I am a great coach, I'm a great human being, I'm a great wife, I'm a great daughter and I think the fact that I can stand here and actually say that about myself and genuinely believe it is also a testament to the work that I do.
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I love how you said I am one of the great ones.
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I love that statement.
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And, in addition to you being one of the great ones, what else is behind all of these amazing titles?
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You mentioned being a mom, a wife, a coach, a daughter.
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What is behind all of that, Dr Chauvan?
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Yeah, I think behind it is honestly a heart that cares and a heart that's for people.
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I've, in the course of operating this business, have seen so much of what life coaching is and what it can offer, and I think, regardless of my niche being a specific marriage coach my heart is always towards helping people and that is a role that I carry.
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That is something that I embody really in every aspect of my life.
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I coach my kids, I coach everyone that I talk to, because my heart is always geared towards helping.
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I was a coach before I even started this business, and so that is a part of who I am.
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I would also say what's behind me is the spirit of God.
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I am a believer, a Christian.
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My faith is very important to me and I think that I strive to live my life in a way that demonstrates love and that helps people love each other better.
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I think behind me is an incredibly ambitious person, and it's one of those things where it's like I don't even know where the ambition came from.
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It's just there, right.
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Obviously, it's a seed planted in me when I was created, but I'm always looking for what's next, what's better, like I'm obsessed with growing, evolving.
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I'm taking a week off of work this week and my friend was like well, what are you doing, since you're not working?
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I'm like I'm doing my inner work.
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I'm like reading books, I'm like studying, I'm growing, I'm evolving myself.
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Load full transcript
It is just who I am.
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That's awesome, beautiful, and I'll dig into some of the things that you just mentioned here Because I think that's it's a lot of really cool pieces there to unfold.
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So you mentioned she said the spirit of God demonstrates love.
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So by demonstrating love and helping people love each other, you are in the perfect niche, right?
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Marriage couples, anyway, that's that.
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Yeah, that's a line between your gifts and what you do.
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What have been one of the most defining moments for you, dr Chauvon, as a person, leading to becoming a business founder and you touched briefly on something about ambition.
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Can you tell us about what?
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What is that journey for you?
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I think the journey honestly started in my family, right.
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I came from a family where the expectations were very high and so doing anything mediocre was just really not acceptable, and I think I really took that on and always saw myself like as a leader.
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I'm the oldest of three children, so by default I was in a leadership role, so much.
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But even among my friendship group I was the natural leader, and so I think like this idea of being comfortable leading, of being comfortable, sort of like being in the forefront I'm also very extroverted and I love to talk and I love people.
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I think that in and of itself, and those combinations of things, really have led me to always be thinking creatively about what can I be doing?
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So even before I started my business, I had multiple side businesses, even actually in my doctoral program I'm doing research and I decided to start a nonprofit mentoring group, right.
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So it's like starting something, initiating projects, helping, serving has always been in my nature, and so after I graduated and I worked for a nonprofit, I also started a business doing event planning because I was like I love doing events.
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This is a passion, so let me do this in addition to my full-time job, and so it's just been in me to always pursue the things that bring me joy, and I come across so many people in my life who, like, have ideas.
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They have things that they want to be doing.
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They have a lot of reasons why they're not doing it, and I think there's something about me, something that God has put inside of me, that I can't rest when I have an idea to do something and I'm not actually taking action on it.
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Wow.
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Okay, so you mentioned during your doctoral program you started a nonprofit organization for mentoring.
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During your full-time job you had an event planning.
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Do you have earlier recollections of you having this desire to own your own business, to create something, to generate a service, a serving way of two people?
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My very first job out of college, I knew that I wanted to be a leader.
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I knew that my boss is boss, is boss.
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I was like, no, I want to be like that.
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I don't want to be in this position.
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Yes.
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And so there was always something about it that I knew like I, I'm designed and created to be a leader.
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And I remember when I transitioned out of my job after I got my doctorate degree and it was very imicable and I was talking with my boss and she'd actually come over to my house and was meeting my parents and we were having like a graduation party for my sister, I think, and she was like I have no doubt that you will do whatever you set your mind to do.
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And my dad made the comment.
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He was like, yeah, siobhan will work for no one.
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And when he said that, I knew that it was true and I think it was while I worked for that organization, and I worked there for eight years and it was wonderful and I loved the work that I did, but I also started my own business while doing that right.
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So there was always a part of me that was just like no, there's a part of me that knows, I'm designed to create and to initiate, and so I don't think it was even a conscious like I'm gonna be a business owner.
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It's just like no, I'm not satisfied.
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Not creating, not initiating, not leading a project.
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Now don't get me wrong.
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I can be a great team member right when I'm not in the leadership role, but inevitably, no matter what I'm a part of, I become the leader of it, which saying that it's almost like is she so full of herself or is she so conceited?
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And it's not that at all it's called confidence yeah, it's just and clarity.
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It is it really is.
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And because of that, though, I have learned now, there are sometimes when I can't.
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Even though the leadership position is like my natural inclination, I can't operate in that everywhere I go.
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Right Now that I am the CEO of my company while also having two small children at home that still need a lot from me, I recognize like, even though I may be tapped to be a leader in these other areas of my life, now is not the season to lead everywhere.
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So, Shevon, the first time that you started your own business was during those eight years at the nonprofit organization.
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Well, I would say probably when I started the mentoring program as a graduate student.
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Really that was me doing research.
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I was at inner city, baltimore, doing research with adolescent students and what's so interesting is I was doing like a qualitative interview.
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I was doing interviews with young children.
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Not young children, they were adolescents.
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And I remember when I called one child to do her interview or to schedule it, I heard her say to her mom this is my mentor.
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And I was like I'm not even a mentor, I'm literally doing my research, I'm just following a protocol, asking you questions.
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And when she said that I recognized that giving her space to just talk about her life and listen and in coaching we call it holding the space for her it helped her feel so connected to me.
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And when I saw that I saw the need, I was like I'm gonna create a mentoring program.
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So that to me honestly feels like my first entrepreneurial endeavor, even though it wasn't a paid for money situation.
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Oh, that's beautiful that she felt valued and heard by you interviewing her, and then what you said earlier, that you don't feel comfortable without doing what you see as an opportunity.
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And then you took the opportunity to move into the creation of that nonprofit.
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Is that still an existence, dr?
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Chavon, it's not so.
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It was when I was.
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I live in a different state now, so after I graduated, I moved and it continued for some time afterwards.
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It's not an existence anymore, but my heart is still there.
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It's definitely like when I think of my big, big, big vision for my life.
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Creating a confidence center is actually like in my heart to do like an actual standing building center that teaches children confidence.
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So you've mentioned a couple of times your doctoral program and I've been referring to you as Dr Chavon.
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So tell us about your doctoral program.
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What is it, what was it on?
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And I'm not gonna ask you what was your dissertation about, because it's not a fun question for anyone who's been through that.
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Actually, it was amazing for me, I have to say.
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I picked a dissertation that I actually loved, but to my
degree, and a doctorate in public health.
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I went to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and, as a public health student like public health is a very broad range of things.
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I think in post COVID life we have an interaction with public health at a level that we probably have never had before as a country.
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So there's different like lanes of public health, and the lane that I was in was more in the social and family sciences range, and so I actually really studied adolescent development, adolescent health, adolescent relationships.
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That's what my doctoral dissertation was on.
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So I've always been a person who is fascinated with, like, how we develop as humans.
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I was in the department of population and family health sciences, which really looks at like growth and development across the lifespan, which now, as a life coach, I'm like.
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Of course, that's why I was drawn to that, and so I did a lot of research.
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I worked at a clinic that adolescents went to and talked with them about their relationships, studied how they make relationship choices and the behaviors that they engage in and their relationships, and then, after graduating, I relocated and worked for a nonprofit doing adolescent health program and I led the relationship based program.
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That's exciting.
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I have a question Do you miss school after finishing your doctoral program?
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I don't miss the school aspect.
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I think what I still love is the learning environment.
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So something that I've been thinking about a lot, which is why I think I enjoy being part of like communities of people studying and learning the same types of thing is I miss the learning environment.
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So you've talked about before.
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You know that you were designed and created to be a leader.
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What does being a leader means to Dr Chavon?
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I actually, years ago, created a personal mission statement and in that it was my mission is to use my knowledge, skills and experiences to inspire people to take action in their own lives, and that, to me, is what a leader is and does right.
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They use what they've been given, they use what they've been through, they use what they know to share with others, to lead and inspire others to grow to their full potential.
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So that's what it means to me that's awesome.
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So can you type that into now the business that you own and run?
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Yeah, it's the exact thing, right?
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So what's so fascinating is, when I started marriage coaching, I always get this question like, why marriage coaching?
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Like, how did you decide to do marriage coaching?
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And when I initially started the business it came from.
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Well, this is just my area of expertise.
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I just know this stuff Like.
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I've been studying it for years, I've created trainings and program and curriculum on it for years, and at the time that I started, my husband and I we had like what I would describe as like an ideal marriage, right, we were like very intentional about our communication, very intentional about like caring for our relationship.
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And then it wasn't so easy, right?
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Like as most marriages go through seasons and periods of time where it's like did we make the right choice?
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Are we the right partners for each other?
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A lot of stress, a lot of strain.
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And it was then that I really learned not only the tools that I was teaching, but like applied them at a level of depth that I think has made me a better coach.
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And so when I talk about using your knowledge, skills and experiences, it's like did I have the knowledge?
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Of course.
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Did I have the skills?
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Of course.
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Now I have the experience.
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Now, when my clients tell me, no, I'm so frustrated at my spouse right now I can't even look at them.
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I'm not even sure if I want to stay in this marriage.
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I know exactly what they're talking about.
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I know exactly what that feels like.
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I know exactly what the mindset is.
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I know exactly what's going on inside of them to create that thought pattern and how to shift it.
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Wow, that is so powerful because you had the knowledge.
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But if you would have started that business when your marriage was in the ideal stage, you would not have been able to relate to those issues right of the very reasons they were coming to you for help.
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It would have been a very like academic heady experience rather than like no, this is my life too.
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Let me show you the way.
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That is a powerful thing, because sometimes we see the challenges in our lives as a burden and not as a lesson to take something from there and then help someone who may be going through the same or similar situation.
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I love how you just enhance your academic
knowledge and expertise with your own personal.
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Every moment of challenge and the tears that I cry, right even over my own marriage, it's like I'm reminded again, just anchoring in my faith.
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I'm like God is wasting nothing here, right?
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There's not one argument or disagree with it, or disappointment that I experienced that won't one grow me and help me, but then also help me to serve my clients even better?
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So, from your perspective and knowing for like observation and experience, what are the similarities and differences in relationships, adolescent versus married couples?
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I knew it was loaded.
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Yeah, part of it.
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It's like, as I'm trying to teach these relationship skills to the teenagers, I'm like you don't have these at home, so how in the world are you supposed to implement this?
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So what's so fascinating?
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A lot of my work with my adult couples centers on helping them understand and uncover their inner child, because whenever a couple is in disconnection or disharmony with each other, it is because there is an inner need inside of them that's in conflict with the other people.
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So they're like two teenagers or two five year olds are having an argument with each other.
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So whatever needs were unmet as they were growing up, whatever coping mechanisms they developed as children to handle their emotions, to handle conflict, that's what comes out when they're arguing right?
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So a lot of the times when I'm coaching my clients and they're talking about a trigger moment or a moment in their marriage that wasn't going well for them, I'm like well, what does it remind you of?
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And it's always tracing back to something in childhood where it was like oh, it reminds me of my dad who, like, didn't prioritize me.
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It reminds me of my mom, who was so critical of everything I did and I could never please her right.
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So there's little difference at all.
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Honestly, I think the major difference is that as adults, we have a different part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex, which is fully developed, where we have the capacity to make more conscious decisions, whereas adolescents, their brain isn't as developed in that part, so they're making a lot of unconscious decisions and don't even have the capacity yet to make different choices and reverse the habits.
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What's great about that time is, if they learn it right the first time, that will be how they operate for the majority of their life.
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And for us as adults, we're now at the disadvantage because we're unlearning things that we learned unconsciously and unhealthily and now having to reverse, to eliminate habits and then build new ones on top of it.
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What an answer.
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I did not expect that those similarities but it makes sense.
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It makes sense totally.
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So, going back to what you said earlier, nothing was wasted.
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Even that built so well into what you're doing right now based on these descriptions Wow, that's pretty amazing.
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Yeah, it is.
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Going back to you as a business owner.
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You, at the beginning, we mentioned that you launched this business during your maternity leave.
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What in the world made you decide, during that moment of stress, to add another layer, to do this, to become a business owner?
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full time?
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Such a great question.
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So when I went on maternity leave, I knew that I didn't want to continue in the role that I had at the organization.
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So I'd been promoted.
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I was at a senior leadership role and I knew, when I was conceptualizing like how I wanted my life to be as a mom now, that the demands of that job really didn't fit with what I wanted.
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And the block that I experienced was like, well, how am I going to make as much money doing what I'm doing here on my own?
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Like just the idea of that at the time was like so foreign to me.
00:22:45.990 --> 00:22:56.261
But literally, like while I was on maternity leave I was watching an episode of Oprah Super Soul Sunday and she had a gentleman on Stephen Pressfield.
00:22:56.261 --> 00:23:01.902
He was talking about this book, the War on Art, not the art of war, the war on art.
00:23:01.902 --> 00:23:20.882
And it was talking about how, when we feel compelled to do something, when it is like our purpose, there is so much resistance and there's so much procrastination and there's so much self sabotage and there's so many things that keep us from doing what we really want to do.
00:23:20.882 --> 00:23:23.897
And literally I was like, oh my gosh, I got to read this book.
00:23:23.897 --> 00:23:27.638
But the whole point of the book was you just do it right.
00:23:27.638 --> 00:23:32.577
You don't like wait for situations to be perfect, you don't wait for it all to make sense.
00:23:32.577 --> 00:23:37.138
And at the time it didn't, and at the time I didn't even know what life coaching was, to be perfectly honest.
00:23:37.138 --> 00:23:40.538
But I wrote down like these are all the things that I love to do.
00:23:40.538 --> 00:23:47.895
I love helping people, I love being a mentor, I love teaching, I love creating events
that's the event planning company.
00:23:47.895 --> 00:23:51.140
I love bringing people together to learn.
00:23:51.140 --> 00:23:53.678
I love training and facilitating.
00:23:53.678 --> 00:23:57.656
I love writing right, and I've written three books since then too.
00:23:58.230 --> 00:24:01.419
So it's like all of those things didn't make any sense.
00:24:01.419 --> 00:24:04.196
But I was like it doesn't have to make any sense.
00:24:04.196 --> 00:24:06.615
The whole point is to just go forward with it.
00:24:06.615 --> 00:24:09.156
And so that's what I did.
00:24:09.156 --> 00:24:12.239
I just started going forth.
00:24:12.239 --> 00:24:15.713
I was like I know how to do workshops, so let me start with a workshop.
00:24:15.713 --> 00:24:31.509
So I did a workshop, promoted it, developed a contract from that and then moved on and was invited by friends who ran other groups on social media and just was like oh, this is like a real thing.
00:24:31.509 --> 00:24:40.349
I was scrolling on social media, saw an ad for how to do a webinar how to sell a program, how to create a program I was like I already know how to create programs.
00:24:40.349 --> 00:24:41.993
I've been doing it for 10 years.
00:24:41.993 --> 00:24:46.305
I just didn't know you could make a business out of something that I've already been doing.
00:24:46.305 --> 00:24:48.853
So that was it.
00:24:48.853 --> 00:24:50.317
It was literally then.
00:24:50.398 --> 00:24:51.983
And was that timing ideal?
00:24:51.983 --> 00:25:17.326
No, but I have to say like that was such a highly creative time for me and it also helped me anchor myself in my identity, because I think, like for me, what happened in the transition of having that first child was I'm a very achievement oriented person, which I've now learned to harness in a positive way instead of a detriment Instead of a detrimental way.
00:25:17.326 --> 00:25:41.684
But the transition of having so much success in my educational life and then my professional life, and then cutting all of that right and being home, a new mom with a new baby, with a husband whose career just continues to soar and thrive and I think starting this business helped me not have an identity crisis Wow.
00:25:41.684 --> 00:25:58.361
And I've seen so many of my friends who have had children and become a stay at home mom and now, 10 years later, are struggling with who they are because they feel like they gave up their life and this is not for anyone who wants to be a stay at home mom and I I have both right.
00:25:58.361 --> 00:26:00.967
I really think I have the best of both worlds.
00:26:00.967 --> 00:26:10.297
Also some challenges in toggling both worlds, but this is no criticism at all for someone who just decides in this season of my life.
00:26:10.297 --> 00:26:24.653
This is what I'm going to do because even owning this business now this summer, I've been more in the mommy role than like the CEO role, which is fine so, but I think for me it helped me not have that identity crisis.
00:26:24.733 --> 00:26:35.265
But at the time I didn't have the self awareness to recognize how much I was pouring myself into this business in the beginning stages to prove that I was still worthy.
00:26:35.265 --> 00:26:49.305
And that process actually created some of the challenges of my marriage, because my husband's like wait, you're supposed to be home like raising our child, and here you are like trying to go to this conference or trying to do this other thing.
00:26:49.305 --> 00:27:07.743
And so I recognize now in hindsight that my zealousness if that's even a word, like being a zealot for building my business so aggressively in the beginning, was me running away from myself.
00:27:07.743 --> 00:27:08.285
Wow.
00:27:08.285 --> 00:27:14.032
And there did come a point where I was like no, like this hustle mentality of like.
00:27:14.032 --> 00:27:21.742
Now I see that I can actually make more money in my own business that I did working for this other organization.
00:27:22.243 --> 00:27:27.285
I wanted that immediately, right, I wanted it immediately, and I was, and I didn't know how to get it.
00:27:28.307 --> 00:27:38.265
And so I'm like buying this program here, doing this thing here, investing here, investing here, but also not having any uniformity in it, not really having a lot of direction.
00:27:39.208 --> 00:27:50.670
And so now, right now, through a series of things that I know we'll probably talk about, I had to redevelop my identity, not on my accomplishments, right?
00:27:50.670 --> 00:27:55.574
So the high achieving person you're so used to your identity being tied to, you're just successful.
00:27:55.574 --> 00:27:58.155
Anything you put your hands to is successful.
00:27:58.155 --> 00:28:20.250
So you don't have to develop that internal validation, that internal definition of success for yourself, because the world is already telling you you're successful, you have this degree, you have this position, you have this salary, and the entrepreneurial journey is not just like a, it's like a this and it's like all over the place, it's like a figure eight.
00:28:20.250 --> 00:28:33.759
So once I had my like dark night of the soul in my business for lack of a better word then I had to rebuild myself and think about okay, how does this business fit into my life.
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:40.042
How does this business serve my family and not just my ego, because I'm so used to being a high achiever?
00:28:40.826 --> 00:28:49.781
Wow, that sounds like you were going through heavy inner work even at that moment as you were building your business.
00:28:49.781 --> 00:28:52.728
Yeah, definitely, wow, wow, okay.
00:28:52.728 --> 00:28:54.951
So I'm not going to let this one go.
00:28:54.951 --> 00:28:57.798
Tell us about that dark night of your business.
00:28:58.565 --> 00:29:00.426
It started out really great, I'll say that.
00:29:00.426 --> 00:29:06.134
So one of the things I had set an intention was, like I
will get to work with whatever mentor I choose.
00:29:06.134 --> 00:29:19.695
Right, as I was building my business and I was learning more about what I wanted and the guidance that I needed to really take it to the level that I wanted to, I just set that intention and so I found the mentor that I wanted to work with and I enrolled in her mastermind.
00:29:19.695 --> 00:29:25.285
That mastermind was very focused on helping you build a business at a certain income level.
00:29:25.285 --> 00:29:27.288
So I was like oh, this is great.
00:29:27.288 --> 00:29:29.451
So go through the first round.
00:29:29.451 --> 00:29:32.635
Wonderful, it's like a six month mastermind.
00:29:32.635 --> 00:29:34.900
You read, you know, you read up every time.
00:29:34.900 --> 00:29:42.536
Second round like lots of stalls, lots of fails, and I was actually removed from the mastermind.
00:29:42.655 --> 00:29:44.799
Now people get all upset.
00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:47.667
She has a policy right.
00:29:47.667 --> 00:29:50.090
She is very attention.
00:29:50.090 --> 00:29:58.240
She's very attending to the fact that early entrepreneurs sometimes over invest in their business without getting any return.
00:29:58.240 --> 00:29:59.786
So she's a money back guarantee.
00:29:59.786 --> 00:30:12.105
So if you're not making the level of investment that you've already paid her, she will give you your money back, because she doesn't want people spending their lives fortune never making any money in their business.
00:30:12.105 --> 00:30:19.761
So the decision was made that you know I wasn't making the money that I invested back, and so she released me from the program.
00:30:20.919 --> 00:30:21.622
Devastating.
00:30:21.622 --> 00:30:25.826
Was that the first time of you saying a failed?
00:30:26.777 --> 00:30:35.280
You know it wasn't, but I think that failure was more humiliating because the other failures had been more private failures.
00:30:35.280 --> 00:30:41.228
Right, like a mastermind, you're in a group of other coaches working towards the same goal.
00:30:41.228 --> 00:30:51.243
So, before I joined that mastermind, my failure of like my first or my second program that I launched my first program sold, so I was like, oh, I'm definitely good at this.
00:30:51.243 --> 00:30:54.943
The second time, I launched it with more intention and more resources behind it.
00:30:54.943 --> 00:30:55.865
It failed.
00:30:55.865 --> 00:30:58.182
So that was a private failure.
00:30:58.182 --> 00:31:04.428
So I wasn't in a circle and I wasn't in a community of other coaches knowing this right.
00:31:04.428 --> 00:31:06.634
So now I'm released from it.
00:31:06.634 --> 00:31:09.202
People are like, well, where are you Right?
00:31:09.202 --> 00:31:09.644
Wow.
00:31:09.644 --> 00:31:14.961
And then you have to explain like, no, I'm not going to be in our next training because I'm not in the program anymore.
00:31:14.961 --> 00:31:18.682
So what was so great about that for me, though?
00:31:18.682 --> 00:31:21.048
Ultimately, was I made the decision.
00:31:21.135 --> 00:31:33.646
I was like, when I rejoined this mastermind, because this was the coach I was committed to working with, I was like I'm going to be a different person, because I recognized that the limitations were all self-imposed and were all my own mindset issues.
00:31:33.734 --> 00:31:48.165
It wasn't that I didn't have a great program, it wasn't that I wasn't a great coach Like that was clear to me it was my own stuff that I needed to work through, and so I spent the next year doing more internal work.
00:31:48.165 --> 00:31:55.159
I hired a one-on-one coach to really help me clear some of those blocks in my own thinking, so that I could soar.
00:31:55.159 --> 00:32:04.583
I re-interred that same mastermind, walked across the stage to get my award for meeting that milestone that the mastermind was intended to.
00:32:04.583 --> 00:32:13.708
But in that period it was like failure to me had never been so hard.
00:32:13.708 --> 00:32:19.240
That was the hardest and it really forced me to develop within myself.
00:32:19.240 --> 00:32:23.118
This is what success looks like to you, siobhan.
00:32:23.118 --> 00:32:24.558
This is what it means to you.
00:32:24.558 --> 00:32:31.319
This is how you validate yourself and build your identity, independent of the external factors that are in front of you.
00:32:32.194 --> 00:32:34.702
So what does success mean to you, Dr Siobhan?
00:32:35.434 --> 00:32:35.715
Yeah.
00:32:35.715 --> 00:32:45.876
So success to me means being in alignment with your desires and offering service to the world.
00:32:47.095 --> 00:32:48.359
So what is your why?
00:32:49.076 --> 00:32:49.517
Yeah.
00:32:49.517 --> 00:32:50.459
So my why?
00:32:50.459 --> 00:32:52.806
I would say it's twofold.
00:32:52.806 --> 00:32:56.785
One is for sure to build a legacy for my family.
00:32:56.785 --> 00:33:07.342
I think about business owners that I know who have huge businesses now they can hire their kids right, or their kids can inherit the business.
00:33:07.342 --> 00:33:15.122
So there's a part of me that knows I want to leave this business behind for my children to do whatever they want to do with it.
00:33:15.122 --> 00:33:32.498
And then the other is really this heart of service, of when I think about even the scripture and just the commandment to love others as you love yourself, like loving well, being kind.
00:33:32.498 --> 00:33:34.282
That is my why.
00:33:35.015 --> 00:33:45.303
So, dr Siobhan, if you fast-track in years to come and you give a message to your kids on legacy, what would you tell your kids?
00:33:46.377 --> 00:33:47.721
That's such a great question.
00:33:47.721 --> 00:34:05.700
I would tell my kids that whatever desire is in your heart is meant for you to create in the world, that you have everything inside of you to do it and that it's really your responsibility to make sure it gets accomplished.
00:34:06.642 --> 00:34:07.523
That's
beautiful.
00:34:07.523 --> 00:34:08.425
That's beautiful.
00:34:08.425 --> 00:34:09.007
I love it.
00:34:09.007 --> 00:34:30.641
So, going back to you as a business owner, who were the biggest supporters of Dr Siobhan and her quest to serving others, now through this business, in life coaching and marriage coaching, I would say first, like tangible support, definitely my husband, right, so like to start a business.
00:34:31.764 --> 00:34:39.764
He carried us financially and continues to carry us financially in many, many ways as this business continues to grow and evolve.
00:34:39.764 --> 00:34:45.246
I would say my parents have been so massively helpful.
00:34:45.246 --> 00:34:53.338
They actually fly in when I do my retreats and take care of my kids and make sure that they can go.
00:34:53.338 --> 00:34:59.545
And I would say my sister she has a role in my business.
00:34:59.545 --> 00:35:04.581
She's like my podcast manager, so she takes care of all of that for me.
00:35:04.581 --> 00:35:17.407
And then I have a circle of friends that just really support me, no matter where I am in the business, right, when things are up and it's amazing and we're celebrating.
00:35:17.407 --> 00:35:22.344
When things are like questionable and we're like what do we do here to strategize.
00:35:22.344 --> 00:35:29.610
And then I have just a number of mentors that have been really, really instrumental in showing me what's possible for myself.
00:35:30.534 --> 00:35:41.179
That's amazing, Dr Siobhan, For the women out there listening who may not have that strong support system that you've described as crucial to your success.
00:35:41.179 --> 00:35:44.166
What would you recommend for them to do?
00:35:45.195 --> 00:35:49.985
I think you have to be intentional about surrounding yourself with like-minded people.
00:35:49.985 --> 00:35:51.248
That has been what I did.
00:35:51.248 --> 00:35:55.846
It's so interesting because in the course of building my business, my best friend actually crossed away.
00:35:55.846 --> 00:35:58.306
I'm sorry for that, thank you.
00:35:58.306 --> 00:36:05.322
I want to commit with a number, thinking intentionally like I need support, I need a community of women.
00:36:06.195 --> 00:36:11.882
And I remember like being in circles and literally seeking out people.
00:36:11.882 --> 00:36:18.784
Like I would look at what they posted in a group that we were in and I'd be like, oh, this person, I would write a post like that.
00:36:18.784 --> 00:36:25.920
Or, and I remember, like my one friend that I'm still friends with now, probably like seven years later, she was hiring someone.
00:36:25.920 --> 00:36:35.521
So she posted, like who she was looking for, the description of the type of person she wanted to hire, and I was like, oh my gosh, this sounds exactly like what I would write.
00:36:35.521 --> 00:36:37.302
And I literally just reached out to her.
00:36:37.302 --> 00:36:44.181
I was like, listen, I know this must sound weird, but I saw
your job description post and she lived relatively close to me.
00:36:44.181 --> 00:36:48.244
So I was like I think like we're like minded, like do you want to chat?
00:36:48.244 --> 00:36:50.101
Do you want to just like get to know each other?
00:36:50.101 --> 00:36:58.778
And literally there's not a day that goes by, that we don't voice message each other, text each other, talk to each other, support each other in some kind of way.
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:03.981
Wow, so you actually intentionally looked for that support system?
00:37:03.981 --> 00:37:06.603
It wasn't that, it was just there and it just happened.
00:37:07.114 --> 00:37:14.003
No, you have to be really intentional about it and I think you have to be clear about what you need in your friendship circles, right?
00:37:14.003 --> 00:37:30.844
So like I was looking for an entrepreneur friend that was in a similar boat, like I have other friends, but I was also looking for someone that was close in proximity, because my circle of friends from graduate school, like we're all scattered across the country, so it's I knew what I was looking for.
00:37:30.844 --> 00:37:32.280
So you really have to be specific.
00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:35.701
Like I want someone who's also an entrepreneur, I want someone who's also a mom.
00:37:35.701 --> 00:37:41.043
I want someone who's like all these characters, characteristics and qualities that you're looking for.
00:37:41.043 --> 00:37:44.960
You just have to be intentional about it and really reach out.
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:48.262
When you see that person, that's like wait, I think this might be my person.
00:37:49.094 --> 00:37:53.501
But also it builds from your strength right that you are an extroverted and you are go getter.
00:37:53.501 --> 00:38:03.038
So yeah, but for my introverted friends out there, you can still do that if you're intentional enough, it's gonna.
00:38:03.038 --> 00:38:07.563
It may take a little bit more energy, but you can still do it because it is possible.
00:38:08.175 --> 00:38:16.925
And I think thinking about it on an individual level, like I work better, like with individual friendships, even though I'm an extrovert that has helped too.
00:38:18.559 --> 00:38:19.422
That's a good point.
00:38:19.422 --> 00:38:29.844
Like it's not this massive group of people which is like one person at a time, make that connection, build that relationship and then, all of a sudden, there is a support system behind you.
00:38:29.844 --> 00:38:34.226
That's a really cool hack and a way of you approaching it.
00:38:34.226 --> 00:38:41.664
One key question to my podcast were you expected to be successful, dr Chavon?
00:38:42.355 --> 00:38:44.222
I was expected to be successful.
00:38:44.222 --> 00:38:57.143
Yeah, I just think my parents, you know like, grew up in an environment where success wasn't the norm, and so I was born in Mississippi.
00:38:57.143 --> 00:39:13.682
We moved when I was like four to Virginia for my dad's job and they were so intentional about making sure we lived in the best school districts that I had the best opportunities, and so I knew that right.
00:39:13.682 --> 00:39:16.641
I remember when we moved once and I was like why are we moving all the way here?
00:39:16.641 --> 00:39:25.025
They're like this is the best school district, and just the idea that they would make that sacrifice to always put me in the best circumstances.
00:39:25.025 --> 00:39:39.445
I knew it was never like said you have to be successful, but I could see their investment in me as the torch of like we're trusting you to carry this through and to be successful.
00:39:39.445 --> 00:39:50.422
So that's, I think, where it came from, of just recognizing their sacrifice and what they didn't have available to them that they made sure I had available to me.
00:39:51.034 --> 00:40:03.487
Well, I love how you said that their actions was an investment in you even making sure that they researched where those places you needed to be happened.
00:40:03.487 --> 00:40:18.641
And despite the challenges and the changes that meant for them as adults, as a couple, as a marriage, right as like beginning again all over as a provider, your dad, right for the family.
00:40:19.400 --> 00:40:29.407
Yeah, definitely, cause now that even you saying that I'm like, yeah, they had a really long commute, right, like they had a really long commute, but I was in the best school district.
00:40:29.976 --> 00:40:36.382
Beautiful investment for the woman that is here before us speaking to us today.
00:40:36.382 --> 00:40:43.351
All right, so in one word, how can you summarize this journey of business ownership, Dr Siobhan?
00:40:44.315 --> 00:40:50.775
I would say growth Just growth, just growth, awesome, awesome.
00:40:50.996 --> 00:40:51.438
I love it.
00:40:51.438 --> 00:40:56.677
Okay, what are you most proud about your own journey as a businesswoman?
00:40:57.275 --> 00:41:32.922
Yeah, I think literally that getting released from the mastermind, coming back, really like not only coming back and achieving the milestone, but coming back having done my work right, Cause I think I could have made more money in a lot of different ways, but it was like, no, I'm really intentional to slow myself down, to develop myself as a person, to create this result in my life, and I'm really proud that I gave myself the space and the grace and did the inner work to really like show up differently to that experience moving forward.
00:41:33.476 --> 00:41:34.780
That is so awesome.
00:41:34.780 --> 00:41:56.001
And if you have some advice for the women out there aspiring to be their own business owner and they're hesitant to do that, despite, like in the midst of all these situations and like looking for that ideal moment, why would you tell them, dr Chavon?
00:41:56.916 --> 00:41:58.541
Yeah, there is no ideal moment.
00:41:58.541 --> 00:41:59.885
Right, there isn't.
00:41:59.885 --> 00:42:03.661
I think if it is in your heart to
do, it is meant to be done.
00:42:03.661 --> 00:42:16.581
And just like the legacy statement I would say to my children, I would say that to anyone who has a desire to create something in the world, it's necessary for the world, it's supposed to be there.
00:42:16.581 --> 00:42:21.523
You are the person to bring it forth, and there will never be a perfect time.
00:42:21.523 --> 00:42:30.586
And to really stop agonizing over what feels like the next perfect step and just make one step.
00:42:31.775 --> 00:42:34.280
Simplify it, make it easier on yourself.
00:42:34.280 --> 00:42:36.621
Yeah, wow, that's really cool.
00:42:36.621 --> 00:42:40.114
Okay, you mentioned earlier three books of your authorship.
00:42:40.114 --> 00:42:41.159
Tell us about it.
00:42:42.076 --> 00:42:54.143
My first book is called Voices in your Ear New Conversations to Renew your Mind and Transform your Marriage, and that's a devotional for women that I self-published years and years ago.
00:42:54.143 --> 00:42:59.119
And after that I was approached by a publishing company to write two books.
00:42:59.119 --> 00:43:10.614
So I wrote a workbook for newlywed couples, so or recently engaged couples, so it's a oh gosh, it's a very long title.
00:43:10.614 --> 00:43:15.797
I want to say it's a workbook, a premarital workbook for Christian couples is the name of it.
00:43:15.797 --> 00:43:16.961
It's an actual workbook.
00:43:16.961 --> 00:43:21.621
And then I have a newlywed devotional for newly married couples.
00:43:22.295 --> 00:43:23.001
For my audience.
00:43:23.001 --> 00:43:26.079
I will include the links to that in my description.
00:43:26.596 --> 00:43:27.661
All of them are on Amazon.
00:43:29.117 --> 00:43:35.264
Wow, what an interesting and intriguing journey for you, dr Chavon.
00:43:35.264 --> 00:43:38.934
And what is it most exciting for you for the next year?
00:43:38.934 --> 00:43:44.043
What is your next big milestone you want to meet, other than now that you finished the masterclass?
00:43:45.115 --> 00:43:47.224
I think it's just growing my program.
00:43:47.224 --> 00:44:02.505
So I have a couple's coaching program called the Marriage Upgrade that I am absolutely in love with, and my goal is to put a lot of attention and effort in getting that program out to as many couples as possible.
00:44:03.295 --> 00:44:12.403
So how can they get in touch with you for that and the other amazing things that you have going on to offer to married couples and women?
00:44:12.956 --> 00:44:15.195
Honestly, the best place always is my website.
00:44:15.195 --> 00:44:17.041
It's Dr Chavoncom.
00:44:17.041 --> 00:44:33.503
There you will find my links to my podcast, because I also have a podcast to work with me directly to hear about my coaching programs, as well as any free masterclasses or programs or resources that I have available.
00:44:33.996 --> 00:44:38.039
So, for my audience, just repeating Dr Chavoncom, that's easy enough.
00:44:38.039 --> 00:44:44.574
And, dr Chavon, it's been a pleasure, it's been fun, it's been insightful to speak to you.
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Thank you for sharing the good, the bad and the ugly, and for my audience, thank you for joining us.
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More to come.
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Please don't forget to subscribe and share these beautiful stories, because we never know who is in need of the information and the stories and don't know hows and the role models that come from these stories.
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So until next time, more to come with unexpectedly successful podcast.