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You know, the lasting lesson from that is that we've got to learn how to treat each other with dignity.
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And that we don't have to have a lot ourselves in order to do that, right?
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It really has to simply come from within.
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Uh, and then the flip side of that, which I hope to be able to get into uh during our conversation, is that there's also dignity in accepting help, right?
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That, you know, too often in life we feel too proud to accept help when it's offered.
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And my perspective on that is hey, we have a destiny to fulfill.
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And if this help is going to be a pathway toward my realizing that destiny, right?
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To be able to fulfill my life's purpose.
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If that help is gonna be instrumental to my realizing that, then I'm going to accept that help and I'm going to accept it proudly.
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Because I'm certainly not going to let something like pride get in the way of realizing what I'm meant to achieve and meant to contribute in this world.
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Behind every mission, every movement, and every attempt to create change, there's a human story shaping how it all unfolds.
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This podcast is for those change makers who believe the work that they're doing in the world should actually make people's lives better.
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Each week, I'm sitting down with these change makers who are shaping impact in their industries and communities.
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And together, we're going to explore the moments, the questions, and the perspective shifts that changed how they lead, how they build relationships, and how they create meaningful change in our world.
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I'm Dr.
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Pyle Berry, and this is Reframing Perspectives.
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Miguel, welcome to Reframing Perspectives.
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I cannot wait to dive into everything that you have built your life around, the mission that you've built your life around, the commitment and the work that you're doing.
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It is, I think, so compelling to see your story and also to see how you have this constant sense of positivity, even with all the challenges that get thrown your way.
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I'm just gonna say that, you know, this is true and true, a New Yorker at heart.
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Like, and that's how, you know, you just show up with full resilience.
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But welcome to Reframing Perspectives.
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Dr.
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Barry, thank you so much for having me.
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I'm really looking forward to our conversation.
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Load full transcript
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Me too.
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It's just, you know, just in the few conversations that we've had, you know, I've learned so much.
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And I really we could probably go on for hours.
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But I want to start with the beginning.
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You know, one of the things is like you grew up in the Bronx in public housing.
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You grew up with Puerto Rican-born parents who, you know, worked really hard to give you everything, but you're still living in a particular space.
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You only have a certain level of exposure to the world.
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Obviously, as kids, what you see around you is your entire world at that time.
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But when you think back to that apartment, when you think back to the block that you grew up on in the Bronx and you think back to your childhood, what lessons, you know, do you see yourself thinking about like how that has the lessons that your parents taught you, the things that you learned from childhood that you would say that still carry forward today?
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Yeah.
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You don't need dollars to have dignity, right?
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We grew up extremely uh modestly.
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Uh, I can still remember uh, you know, many evenings during the winter when we wouldn't have heat or we wouldn't have hot water.
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But my sister and I always had a loving home.
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And so my parents may not have had much to offer materially, but they offered so much in terms of love and support and encouragement.
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You know, the lasting lesson from that is that we've got to learn how to treat each other with dignity.
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And that we don't have to have a lot ourselves in order to do that, right?
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It really has to simply come from within.
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Uh, and then the flip side of that, which I hope to be able to get into during our conversation, is that there's also dignity in accepting help, right?
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That, you know, too often in life we feel too proud to accept help when it's offered.
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And my perspective on that is hey, we have a destiny to fulfill.
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And if this help is going to be a pathway toward my realizing that destiny, right?
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To be able to fulfill my life's purpose.
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If that help is gonna be instrumental to my realizing that, then I'm going to accept that help and I'm going to accept it proudly because I'm certainly not going to let something like pride get in the way of realizing what I'm meant to achieve and meant to contribute in this world.
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Gosh, that, you know, that point about, first of all, dignity has come up so many times in other conversations that I've had with other change makers.
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And I think that there's so much power that you shared it from this perspective of what dignity, that dignity is something that everyone can have.
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And dignity is what everyone can experience and should experience.
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It is not reserved for a socioeconomic class or for your status or because you hold this title.
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It is your right as a human to have dignity.
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And it sounds like that's what really your parents really shared in you, showed you with the love and care.
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And, you know, when you talk about that accepting of help and the dignity in being able to say, yes, like I appreciate you helping me with this.
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And so much of that, you know, it comes from this idea of there's a lot of broken trust when you look at these marginalized and communities that have been really, really oppressed.
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There's a lot of mistrust with the system.
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There's mistrust with leadership, there's mistrust with institutions.
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And so there's this idea that, you know, I've got to have my own back.
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And when they come in and also you see families that are broken and you see families that also have that, then it gets into the cellular level.
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You know, we talk about health, but like it gets into the cellular level of how we're then conditioned to showing up.
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And so, you know, being able to say that, like, yes, I am going to accept help, but and that doesn't make me smaller or doesn't make me pathetic, but it's what is going to get me to that purpose.
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You know, something that you experienced is when you were, you know, when you were going and studying and, you know, just being a kid, you were actually, you and your sister were then identified as two individuals that, you know, this woman showed up in your life and said, I'm gonna invest in you.
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And imagine if your family said, Nope, we don't trust you.
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You're not, we don't, we're not, they're fine with where they're at and they're gonna keep doing what they're doing, like how your life trajectory would have changed.
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I really would love for you to share the story about, you know, your experience with this woman who came into your life and fundamentally changed everything about it.
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There is no question about that.
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You know, I think many times in life we are in the presence of guardian angels.
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And we may not necessarily
know it at the time, but eventually we get to know that.
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And Susan Luger was a guardian angel uh to both my sister and me.
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We're gonna, we're gonna create a find Susan Luger, you know, social media uh attempt out for that.
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That would be, that would be awesome.
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My sister and I have tried unsuccessfully.
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So if through participation in this program she and I are able to reconnect with Susan Luger, that would be a wonderful bonus uh to having participated here today.
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Uh, you know, this woman didn't have to do what she was doing.
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She chose to live her life in that way that she was going to commit her talents, her time, her resources to helping students like my sister and me, uh, folks who showed promise uh but didn't have the financial wherewithal that other students may have had.
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And she said, we're gonna help these kids and we're going to prepare them to participate in schools, education that otherwise they wouldn't even know existed.
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And so she helped my sister and me and countless other promising minority students to prepare for the entrance exams for competitive schools.
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And this is something that my parents just didn't know anything about.
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And so the fact that she came into our lives, and there we were Saturday after Saturday, preparing for these exams.
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Now remember, we're little kids.
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There are other things that we would have rather been doing on our Saturdays.
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But, you know, my parents certainly saw the value, right?
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Because remember, my sister and I were too young to consent to this ourselves.
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So my parents had to be the first line to be able to say, hey, this is something really good, and please continue with what you're offering.
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And so for us to have that opportunity, and then, hey, we did the work, right?
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So we had to do our part and we had to do the work.
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And so, you know, we we took that entrance exam and we ended up gaining admission to the ethical culture schools.
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And so now we go from, in my case, go from attending a neighborhood school that I would get to with a five-minute walk, the elementary school that I had been going to.
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Now I've got to take the subway from the Bronx into Manhattan to attend the Midtown school, it's called, on Central Park West.
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Hit from Bronx Public Housing, and now all of a sudden I'm gonna going to school on Central Park West.
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Like, it's a whole new world.
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Yeah.
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But that's what, you know, I was exposed to.
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And then, you know, my sister went to Fieldston Lower.
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And then ultimately we both went to Fieldston, the school that we attended from seventh through twelfth grade.
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Yeah.
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Just things that would not have even been on the radar screen.
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Yeah.
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And so, you know, to to think about what that positioned us to do afterwards.
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And then all of the people that my sister and I have been able to impact through our respective careers.
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Yeah.
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I mean, the impact is in the thousands.
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It's tremendous.
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It's tremendous.
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And I want to, I want to actually like talk about that moment because here you are, you know, your parents see the value of this, and you're you're receiving this incredible support.
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You're now being transported to a whole new world.
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And something that I remember as well, and people don't realize this, is that, you know, when I when so when I was doing clinical therapy and I was doing home-based counseling in New York, I would go out to the furthest areas of Brooklyn, East New York, and, you know, further out, like Coney Island is literally that's it, right?
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There's nothing more there.
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And these are kids who are born and raised in New York City, who are, you know, live their entire lives out there.
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And in our sessions, they would ask me, like, so what does Central Park look like?
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What is it?
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What is, you know, what does Manhattan look like?
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Like, because when you're that far out, you actually can't even see the skyline.
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Like it's not possible.
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And so, you know, and for them, it's a decision of do I buy lunch or do I go on the subway?
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And so, you know, making those decisions, like these are kids that are literally 45 minutes out and have never actually stepped into this whole world that the world glorifies.
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And so be going from a space where, you know, your whole world is in the Bronx, it's in the projects, and you're surrounded by people who have made amends with or justified, settled into that, well, this is my life and this is how I live, and this is what my future is going to also look like.
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And you have now this opportunity of being transported into a whole other world.
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I can imagine that even as a kid, you are so well aware of how you are now just having this dance between two very, very different worlds and what that might have been like for you to walk down that hill, you know, while everyone else is being busted in these private buses and you are taking the public bus back to the Bronx.
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Yet you're in school with these kids, you're seeing how they live, you're experiencing what they're experiencing, you're you're getting that education as them, but then you're getting transported back to the world where they have justified that this is my future.
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How, you know, I've I've a few questions about this, but we'll start with can you take us back to that moment of like what that felt like for you to have to kind of dance between these two worlds and have to navigate your own experience within your body?
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Yeah, it's a great question.
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So you you were describing the situation of my transporting to the Fieldson School.
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So I was done with the Midtown School.
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That was the subway ride.
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And now the Fieldston School is also in the Bronx.
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Uh, and so the way I would get there is by public bus.
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And whenever I would arrive at the school in the morning, there would be all of these private buses, the Liberty Lines buses, all lined up, transporting the kids from the Upper West Side and the Upper East Side and wherever else uh they may have come from.
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And so, you know, I was constantly having to manage that.
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It's like, why is it that these kids have this mode of transportation where they're basically picked up and taken to school, and then at the end of the day, they're picked up and taken home.
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And meanwhile, my sister and I have to walk down this very steep hill to get down to the public bus line to then take the bus home.
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And one of the things that I never did was I never begrudged other people's resources.
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I was like, you know, that's huge.
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God bless.
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I don't think that's that's common.
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Right, right.
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So, you know, God bless.
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But what I was left with was why is it that the people that don't typically have those resources that they far more often than not look like me?
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Why is that?
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Yeah.
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Right.
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And so it was very proactively wanting to address that observation that led to the career that I have and one where I'm able to impact people's lives in a positive way.
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You know, so that's one of the things, right?
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You can't get caught up in what I don't have because then you get mired in that rabbit hole, right?
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I think it's got to be more about an asset-based approach.
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It's like, hey, I have assets.
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They may not be material, but I have things that are of value.
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A am of value.
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And so what can I do to try to move forward?
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And that's where what I mentioned before, accepting the help.
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I've accepted lots of help in my life.
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And I'm grateful for it.
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And I'm also now grateful for the fact that I'm able to help others, right?
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I think that like that part right there of, you know, seeing yourself that I am of value.
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I don't need external materialistic things to see the value that I add, whether it's through the the natural strengths and gifts that you have.
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Like if you are someone who was just brilliant when it comes to math, you know, I can tell you I absolutely suck at math and you do not want me doing your accounting.
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Like I don't want, I should not be doing my own accounting.
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That's why I have an accountant.
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But it's, you know, everyone has a strength, everyone has a gift that they come into this world with.
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And when you see that as value and asset that you're able to bring to the world, I'm curious that when you were a kid and you're going to Fieldston and you're you're seeing this and you're getting the exposure and you're seeing, and you're sounds like you're having having a lot of gratitude for this opportunity.
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Were you able to then, as you come back into home and now you've got your friends that you've growing up with and they're seeing you go to Fieldston?
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Were did you notice you being able to influence them or inspire them as well?
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To being like, hey, you know, yes, you're not at Fieldston with me, but this is what you can be doing too.
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Did you see those changes even then?
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Yeah, you know, it was about trying to do the best I could with what I had.
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And I had been blessed, right, with certain opportunities that otherwise would not have come my way, thanks to Susan Luger and others.
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And so I was very conscious about making sure that others had that proper mindset or what I viewed as the proper mindset of, hey, we may also not have had
everything that we would have wanted to have growing up.
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But it's about how do we make the most of what we have and wanting to make a difference in the world, right?
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We're not going to be here forever.
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So what's going to outlive us, right?
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What's our legacy going to be for having been on this earth?
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And how can you build your legacy while you're still living, right?
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Like not wait for it to be until you're on.
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But it's like your living legacy.
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And for you, Miguel, your living legacy is the impact you're able to make through, you know, doing social impact work by doing these, by being part of Health First and making sure that communities have the right health care and have access to things that, you know, otherwise those resources seem very, you know, far and few between.
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What I'm curious about though is that so you see your value, you see your assets, you see all this, you're given this opportunity at Field Stand, you're inspiring people around you, even at that age, to look at like, what do you have and what can you work with?
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And yet, when you are getting ready to go to college, you then get your student counselor who is trying to prevent you from applying to Columbia and saying that, you know, you may not want to apply there and maybe you want to apply to somewhere that's more affordable or that's a little bit more realistic, more realistic for you.
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You know, I I say this also with having my own experience with the dean of my college telling me that I shouldn't bother finishing because I'm not gonna amount to anything.
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You know, and I think about you know, my friend Jasmine, who also grew up in Sunset Park and went to um, you know, she was a first generation coming out of the projects, got her PhD at Yale, but like her experience of having to get there, prove herself, it stays with you in your body.
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You know, think of even about Michelle Obama.
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Michelle Obama was told that, like, nah, you're not gonna get into Princeton.
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Like, you know, you need to, you need to, you know, think a little bit more smaller than where you're thinking.
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Like your head's getting too big.
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But for you, you know, when that voice arrived, and when you have this person who's supposed to be your high school, high school guidance counselor, who is supposed to be on your side telling you not to apply to Columbia, and you did it anyways, and you got in.
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And, you know, in in there was this internal battle then of like, can I make it there?
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Is it is it too much for me?
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Like, I want to know what that experience was like for you to believe in yourself, but get accepted somewhere that you wanted to go.
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But then that internal battle of what happens to the kid from the Bronx who cares so deeply, who who is supposed to, you know, make and is doing incredible work.
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But that voice, how do you battle with that voice that gets like incepted into your mind?
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Yeah, it's really hard.
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And, you know, again, that's where accepting help pulled me through.
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Uh, the first source of help was from my parents and my family.
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And I remember getting this consistent message hey, if they accepted you, it's because they believe you can do the work.
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You belong there.
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Right.
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They wouldn't have accepted you otherwise.
00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:28.319
So it's like, okay, that has merit, but I had to come to believe that myself, right?
00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:39.759
So it's one thing for people to tell you, but then when you've had a life of wondering, why is the system not necessarily working for people who look like me, right?
00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:46.880
Then you start to wonder, wow, maybe there's a reason why the guidance counselor was trying to give me this advice.
00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:50.400
And so having to push through that was very difficult.
00:20:50.559 --> 00:20:58.000
And I will say that what was a great help was the higher education opportunity program.
00:20:58.319 --> 00:21:04.240
I was accepted into the higher education opportunity program, which provides extra financial support.
00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:12.160
There's a pre-freshman orientation to help acclimate, you know, kids to college life, right?
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:20.880
Particularly those who, like me, didn't have parents who had gone to college who could sit down with me and tell me, son, this is great.
00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:22.480
You're in Columbia now.
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:24.720
Let me tell you what you're in for now.
00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:25.200
Yeah.
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:26.960
I didn't have anybody to tell me.
00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:27.279
Yeah.
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:29.200
They don't have names on buildings.
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:32.720
They don't have, you know, that alum access.
00:21:33.119 --> 00:21:33.680
That's right.
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:42.720
So, you know, without having had the financial wherewithal or anyone in my immediate circle that had gone through college, right?
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:46.720
I was the first one to go, thank goodness, for this program.
00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:54.559
To also, similar, similarly to Susan Luger, the program communicates that we believe in you.
00:21:54.720 --> 00:21:59.519
We believe you have enormous potential, but we need to level the playing field.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:02.079
This is equity in action, right?
00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:04.000
Leveling the playing field.
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:11.920
So others who have this benefit of their parents having gone to college, you don't have that.
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:18.240
So what do you need in order to level the playing field with someone who has that kind of experience?
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:24.319
Again, not begrudging that individual who has that experience, but hey, how about me?
00:22:24.559 --> 00:22:26.880
How do I get a how do I get a little bit of that action?
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:27.279
Yeah.
00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:28.319
Right, right.
00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:33.920
And so, you know, this program instilled that confidence.
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:38.319
That was sort of the final push to say, hey, Miguel, you're not alone.
00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:38.799
Yeah.
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:45.599
And how often in life is it so important for us to truly understand that we are not alone?
00:22:45.920 --> 00:23:01.839
You know, that that is that part where even if you think about it, what you're just saying right there is that students who have parents that have generational support of going to college, they have help because their parents have know what it's like and they can help them with that.
00:23:02.079 --> 00:23:14.240
Students or just individuals who have parents that own businesses, you know, they're able to say, all right, yeah, sure, go out there, get an internship, whatever, but ultimately you can come work into my business.
00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:16.720
You have something here to work through.
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:19.359
I'm going to teach you how to think about business.
00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:46.480
You know, you hear this all the time with kids who grow up with very in wealthy homes, the way that those parents set their kids up to already receiving financial benefits from a very young age and the way that they even teach them and about money, like money is a tool, money is energy, money is something that you flow versus when you're a someone who's growing up in the projects or you're growing up middle class, like your relationship to money is so different.
00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:54.079
And so, in the same manner, you know, that relationship to help and as like circling back to that is so different.
00:23:54.319 --> 00:24:08.559
The one who is, you know, we look at, we look at kind of like Amazon or you look at these large, large organizations, they have no problems getting a corporate handout, you know, and and asking for support from the government when things are not doing well.
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:14.400
Like we had, you know, during COVID and the pandemic with the big bailout with like airlines and industries.
00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:21.039
And, you know, we had all of those things and they're asking for it because they make it into and justify it as business sense.
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:27.839
It makes business sense for us in order for our business to not collapse, which employs thousands of people.
00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:31.759
And so that it doesn't collapse the economics of our society.
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:35.920
It makes sense for you, the government, to help support us.
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:45.519
But yet, if we take that same conversation and move it down to individuals where it's saying, hey, you know what?
00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:53.039
You don't have the same resources available to you that this wealthy person can or this organization can.
00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:55.920
But I want to make sure that you still get access to education.
00:24:56.079 --> 00:25:01.759
I want to make sure that you still get access to, you know, being able to change the trajectory of your life.
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:09.839
And those same individuals are looking at help as if because we've been trained in society to say that, oh, it's a handout.
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:13.519
And, you know, so so what I'm hearing with you is like you really flip that.
00:25:13.599 --> 00:25:14.960
It's like this isn't a handout.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:16.799
You are still having to do the work.
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:18.400
You may have that opportunity.
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:25.759
It's no different than like, you know, a LeBron James son can come into the basketball, but if he doesn't perform, he's out.
00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:34.000
So you're getting access, but you still have to do the work to actually, you know, continue to reap the benefits of it.
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:49.519
And so that relationship to help is how you're reframing the way that that, and because your family accepted help from Susan Luger, because you went to that class, you know, and you understood, okay, like what is it going to take for me to be successful here at Columbia?
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:51.920
It continued to change the trajectory of your life.
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:52.640
Absolutely.
00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:54.000
I mean, no question about it.
00:25:54.160 --> 00:26:07.519
It's, you know, Susan Luger presented the platform of the classes, but I still had to do the work on the Saturdays in order to be able to do well enough on the exam to be able to gain admission to the ethical culture schools.
00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:15.759
And then at the college level, wonderful, greatly appreciative of the support that the higher education opportunity program provided.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:19.359
But then I've got to go to the classes and I've got to do the work.
00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:27.039
And, you know, proud to share that, you know, I was on Dean's List for five semesters of my time at Columbia.
00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:28.559
That didn't just happen.
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:30.160
I had to put in the work.
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:37.920
And then subsequent to that at NYU and to the point where I was,
you know, the student speaker at graduation.
00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:41.359
Again, I had to do all of that work in order to get there.
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:48.240
And so, you know, society unfortunately sometimes stigmatizes the fact that people need help.
00:26:48.400 --> 00:27:02.240
The same society that will withhold resources from these folks will also then stigmatize the same folks who are trying to gain resources that have been withheld from them from so long.
00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:02.400
Right.
00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:07.200
I was like, wow, wow, that's patently unfair.
00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:07.839
Yeah.
00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:18.799
And so I wanna, I wanna flip that script and say, hey, you know, let's work where we can to break down those societal barriers.
00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:27.680
And one of those barriers is to normalize help, giving it, receiving it as a way for everyone to be able to move forward.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:32.240
Because again, at the end of the day, everyone has to do the work.
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:35.839
Once they get the assistance, they've got to do the work.
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:36.559
Yeah.
00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:56.319
And you started to see, you know, you went from receiving that help, obviously as a kid and growing into that person, to now you're out in the world, you're an adult, you have your, you're, you're in your job, your first, one of your first jobs working at the family shelter.
00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:06.400
And a family shelter, you know, 80 families in one building, all waiting for the call that, you know, they you found a home for them.
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:08.559
But you did this differently.
00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:26.480
You showed them, again, dignity, that they're not just a family who happens to live here and that they should be so grateful to be able to get an apartment or they should be so grateful for whatever you just like give to them, as if, like, here's a leftovers, here it is.
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:29.119
You should be grateful that you're even getting my leftovers.
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:36.480
And that is how sadly, a lot of ways people tend to move who are not in those worlds.
00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:38.400
And so they don't, they don't understand it.
00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:47.440
They don't necessarily always understand that, like, again, these are people who are in these shelters because of challenging situations that happened.
00:28:47.599 --> 00:28:53.440
Again, to debunk the myth, it's not necessarily because of mental health or because of drug abuse or any of those things.
00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:55.839
It's actually because they lost a job.
00:28:56.079 --> 00:29:02.480
They, you know, had medical bills that were just too much for them and they, you know, weren't able to make rent.
00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:05.359
They weren't able to pay their, they had to make a choice.
00:29:05.519 --> 00:29:07.839
Do I eat today or do I pay for this?
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:13.599
And you have these families, kids living in this shelter.
00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:28.640
And I want you to walk us through how you showed them dignity, how you showed them that I don't care what your situation was that led you to this moment, but you absolutely deserve dignity in placement.
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:29.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:32.240
Uh, I remember it as if it were yesterday.
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:36.799
Uh, so the family homeless shelter was in the Bronx.
00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:40.880
Families, however, were placed there from all over New York City.
00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:44.559
So they weren't just Bronx families who needed the support.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:47.279
There were people who came from all over.
00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:52.799
And I remember an exchange that I had with a family that had been relocated from Brooklyn.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:54.720
Brooklyn to the Bronx is not a short trip.
00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:56.480
And yet they were displaced.
00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:59.359
In this instance, it was due to a fire.
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:05.759
And so their networks were in Brooklyn.
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:10.319
And to them, the Bronx might as well have been another state, another country.
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:10.880
Right.
00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:15.759
And so I remember the first time, you know, I'm in my office.
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.039
The mother comes in with her four kids.
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:29.200
And one of the first questions that I asked was, where would you prefer to have permanent housing once you live here, once you leave here?
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:30.640
And she said, excuse me.
00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:31.920
So I had to repeat it.
00:30:32.079 --> 00:30:37.759
And then I wanted to share a little of the why behind the question.
00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:47.599
And it was because, hey, I know that the kids had friends and there may even have been family members who helped take care of the kids.
00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:49.279
And those are resources.
00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:50.240
Absolutely.
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:51.119
Absolutely.
00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:54.160
Resources that need to be acknowledged and valued.
00:30:54.319 --> 00:30:58.799
And so, you know, I shared this rationale with her.
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:07.279
And, you know, she started to cry because she had not been asked these kinds of questions when she entered the homeless system.
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:09.359
It was basically just being processed.
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:10.799
And here's where you show up.
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:12.720
There wasn't any concern, right?
00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:16.559
There wasn't any concern about networks that may have been left behind.
00:31:16.799 --> 00:31:32.400
Uh, and so for her to have heard someone who was in a position to help actually ask what was important to her and not, as you mentioned before, how sometimes it's characterized, hey, you're happy for whatever you get.
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:33.039
No, no.
00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:34.960
What would you prefer?
00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:40.079
Right in that moment, I could see the heaviness lift from her shoulders.
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:53.039
Because now she had confidence that when her family got back on their feet, they would be able to do so in a place where the networks could be reactivated and all of the support that comes with that.
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:55.839
And so, you know, I did that work for a couple of years.
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:00.319
And so that same kind of experience played out over and over.
00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:12.079
And, you know, and remember, you know, I'm asking the question as the individual who lived in public housing and often had the heat and hot water shut off.
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:12.559
Right.
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:16.400
So I'm asking from that place of empathy.
00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:16.799
Yeah.
00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:31.039
And I'm grateful to have had that opportunity because, you know, some of the families, not all of them, but some of them after they were placed would actually reach out and share, you know, how how well things had been going for the family.
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:38.799
And just, you know, a word of thanks for caring enough to ask the question about what was important to me, right?
00:32:39.119 --> 00:32:39.759
Dignity.
00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:40.400
Dignity.
00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:42.160
Sharing dignity.
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.920
It's this person just happened to be going through a season of a rough time.
00:32:46.079 --> 00:33:00.720
I mean, I I we have a family friend, one of my father's old college buddies, who actually grew up in extreme wealth in India and moved here and, you know, got into real estate, got married, had kids, the whole thing.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:06.400
And in the early 90s, when there was that big collapse, ended up losing everything.
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:18.079
And went from a lot of wealth and having all these real estate properties and everything, and going into him, his wife, and his three kids living in their car.
00:33:18.319 --> 00:33:34.480
And so, you know, to go from that moment and then from there was able to, because of the support and because of being able to one, know what it's like to be at the top and know what access and resources and things are available.
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:48.799
And then being able to like get to this point and then tap into that again and being able to say, like, all right, like I know what it takes to get up here again, but like right now, like this is the support that I need and getting that and was able to rebuild all the way to the same moment again.
00:33:49.039 --> 00:34:06.960
But I take that story because so much of what you're talking about is that no one would have thought that someone who comes from extreme wealth can actually drop to that moment and have to deal with the same challenges where I think people expect it
to be that, oh, well, these are individuals that have always been in these positions.
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:14.000
These are individuals that have always struggled or they don't know how to manage their money, they don't know how to manage this or whatever.
00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:24.239
And now they're just being a burden on us, not having taken the moment like you have to have that empathy and compassion and to provide context to what matters.
00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:31.760
And I think that, you know, what you're talking about is the fact that you ask the question of, hey, where would you prefer to live?
00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:33.679
What where is your community?
00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:35.679
Where are your kids' friends?
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:37.760
What school does your kid go to?
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:50.320
What you're actually then doing is you're utilizing the resources that the system has in a way that won't have these individuals collapse again onto the system.
00:34:50.559 --> 00:35:01.280
So when we talk about that cycle, how much of the system is actually doing it to itself by not having compassion and empathy and dignity for these people?
00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:16.159
Because if you're just saying, like, all right, we'll just place you here, we'll just place you there, we'll just place you there, and now they're having to start all over again without resources, without the support system, without their community around them, they're gonna collapse back and be like, oh, here they come again.
00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:27.199
And it's like, but but your due diligence of you showing that dignity and you asking those questions actually prevented the system from being collapsing over and over again.
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:29.119
That's absolutely right.
00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:33.039
And those are the kinds of things that don't show up necessarily in a report.
00:35:33.199 --> 00:35:33.280
Right.
00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:33.519
Right.
00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:35.360
There are things that might show up in a report.
00:35:35.440 --> 00:35:39.280
Oh, this person was placed in this housing facility.
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:40.639
Wonderful, right?
00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:58.159
But what's not necessarily captured is what kind of quality of life do they have after being placed somewhere that is far from their networks, far from what they have known, you know, and and and to what degree were those factors even considered?
00:35:58.320 --> 00:35:58.480
Right.
00:35:58.800 --> 00:35:59.039
Yeah.
00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:03.679
And you've taken that, and now, you know, what you're at health first.
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:14.800
And again, another organization that cares deeply about creating accessibility with healthcare so that individuals who are living in these areas have resources to support.
00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:30.400
And you shared a beautiful story with me about a woman who truly became a champion, a, you know, you could call her the PR without, you
know, the unofficial PR for what Health Force did.
00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:58.559
I'd love for you to share that story and just about, again, this 25, 30-year career you've had now of just continued validation about when you show up with dignity and with support and help these individuals and these society and communities see how their life just becomes so much more elevated and beneficial by receiving help from a place of dignity, how that can just completely transform everything.
00:36:58.719 --> 00:37:10.400
I'd love for you to share that story and just also just, you know, how her experience shifted the way then the community and neighborhood started trusting Health First.
00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:11.599
Yeah, absolutely.
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:20.480
Well, let me just say, for those who may not know, right, Health First is the largest not-for-profit health insurer here in downstate New York.
00:37:20.719 --> 00:37:24.239
Health First is privileged to serve over two million New Yorkers.
00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:34.800
These are individuals who have access now to high-quality, low-cost health care who otherwise would very likely not happen.
00:37:35.039 --> 00:37:52.719
And so, you know, we in community engagement spend quite a bit of time educating the community on health and wellness, on other things, again, to empower people, to have the tools that they need in order to live their happiest, most productive life.
00:37:52.960 --> 00:38:00.559
And so, in the course of doing this work, we met this wonderful ambassador, as it turned out, uh, for Health First.
00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:06.639
You know, she was always so proud to share her Health First story.
00:38:06.719 --> 00:38:15.039
And she would tell anyone who was within earshot that when I got cancer, Health First was there for me every step of the way.
00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:18.480
And I am a Health First member for life.
00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:25.840
She was a woman of wonderful spirit, incredibly community-minded, incredibly community-minded.
00:38:25.920 --> 00:38:30.239
You know, she unfortunately uh ended up losing her battle with cancer.
00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:34.079
But, you know, we continue to work with that community.
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:45.679
We continue to work with her children who are advancing her vision for community empowerment through her foundation that she created.
00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:51.679
And so, you know, that is one example of doing well by doing good.
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:52.719
Right?
00:38:53.039 --> 00:38:56.559
We do well by doing right by people.
00:38:56.880 --> 00:38:59.920
It's not trying to get by.
00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:04.719
It's not trying to get around or get over.
00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:09.119
It's doing what's in that individual's best interests.
00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:10.880
We do well by doing good.
00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:22.239
And so I think it's a, you know, the approach that we take at Hell First, I think is one that hopefully more and more companies can emulate.
00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:32.239
Because they're there, you know, there's incredible loyalty that is then built in once you have treated someone with respect and dignity.
00:39:32.639 --> 00:39:33.039
Yeah.
00:39:33.280 --> 00:39:55.599
And I think that's something we're probably going to see more and more with organizations that as AI technology really takes over, we are going to see, I think, an evolution of people who now the value of human and being human is going to become even more elevated.
00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:57.039
People are going to crave it.
00:39:57.280 --> 00:40:09.360
So the organizations who actually lean in to making a difference in that touch point where you're not just another call on customer service.
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:16.320
You're not just another patient, but you are someone that is seen as an important figure in someone's life.
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:18.000
Like you, your health matters.
00:40:18.079 --> 00:40:32.559
And so I think more and more organizations that actually take that purpose and embed those values are actually going to see an uptick in customers being satisfied, being happy, and also just, you know, just functioning better.
00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:33.119
Yeah.
00:40:33.280 --> 00:40:33.679
Yeah.
00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:40.239
At the end of the day, AI should support human interaction, not replace it.
00:40:40.559 --> 00:40:40.960
Correct.
00:40:41.119 --> 00:40:41.440
Yeah.
00:40:41.679 --> 00:40:47.360
And so, Miguel, like in your, I feel like your life, like you were born for this.
00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:54.400
You know, you were, you were, Susan Luger didn't just see a kid who was in the Bronx that was like, oh, you're smart.
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:56.000
All right, let's she saw you.
00:40:56.159 --> 00:40:58.000
She saw the compassion.
00:40:58.159 --> 00:40:59.360
She saw the empathy.
00:40:59.519 --> 00:41:07.920
She saw what gift you had specifically and knew that you were the one to nurture to get to the place where you are.
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:17.760
Because of that, because Susan, and because of countless others who took a chance on you and said, I want to help you.
00:41:17.920 --> 00:41:20.719
And you were like, bring it, let's do it, you know?
00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:28.639
And your parents role modeled that by accepting Susan's help and role modeled to you that you are worth being at Columbia.
00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:30.559
They chose you, they said yes to you.
00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:33.840
So you need to now say yes to yourself.
00:41:34.079 --> 00:41:49.039
And I think that what you are really emulating and what you have is showing whether you're a change maker or you are someone who works in the social impact space, but you didn't necessarily come from that world.
00:41:49.199 --> 00:41:55.519
It can be very easy to look at those individuals as like, these are my clients and these are my patients and these are my that.
00:41:55.599 --> 00:41:57.519
But then
I return to my world, right?
00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:14.000
And what you're really showing, Miguel, through your entire storyline and everything that you've done, every story that you've shared, is that every moment of this is that we're all humans just trying to like exist in this world and show up and do the best we can for ourselves, for our neighbors and everything.
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:22.719
And if we can just make it a little easier for each one, like the I personally believe that the more that we lean in, the more everybody benefits.
00:42:23.039 --> 00:42:29.280
Because if everyone's asking each other, what do you need, what do you need, what do you need, then you're also being asked, what do you need?
00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:31.360
And you're also being received that help.
00:42:31.519 --> 00:42:39.440
And so the way that you share that with such, you know, again, the the the theme of the theme of the conversation, dignity, the way that you really share that.
00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:40.639
I mean, I think it's really special.
00:42:40.719 --> 00:42:53.599
And I think it's something that people who get immune to the work that they do and stop treating people with that conscious compassion, you know, need to kind of keep that at top of mind for them.
00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:57.519
Like, I mean, this happens to like crisis doctors, this happens to social workers.
00:42:57.760 --> 00:43:03.440
You know, when you're working in those spaces, it becomes very easy to be like, yeah, okay, it's another day, another client, another situation.
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:14.320
So, you know, how do you, who has spent your entire life committed to giving people better opportunities of living their life with dignity?
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:25.519
How do you help, you know, other change makers that are, that are coming into the world, into this world, work, who are emerged and in the thick of it, who are getting exhausted, who are tired?
00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:37.199
How do you help them hold that dignity at the top so that it doesn't, it doesn't actually then, you know, lose trust with the people that they are here to work and support?
00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:37.679
Yeah.
00:43:37.840 --> 00:43:38.159
Yeah.
00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:43.760
I think it's I think it's very important never to commoditize the work that you do.
00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:46.719
And like you were saying, it's sometimes very easy to do that.
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:50.800
Oh, you know, how many new members have we gotten this month?
00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:54.400
Oh, right, fill in the blank, depending on the the type of work that you do.
00:43:54.559 --> 00:43:59.039
And you always have to remember the human stories behind those things, right?
00:43:59.280 --> 00:43:59.760
So, yes.
00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:16.800
You know, how many families have, for how many families have we now provided incredible peace of mind because now they know that they have access to this low-cost, high-quality health insurance that they otherwise might not have had.
00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:20.639
And so I think you always got, you always have to keep that humanity at the center.
00:44:20.800 --> 00:44:30.800
One of the things that I share with my employees, the folks on my team all the time, if any of them was here right now, they would all say, yes, Miguel does tell us this.
00:44:30.960 --> 00:44:34.960
I always remind them, you are not just an employee to me.
00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:36.159
You're a human being.
00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:40.079
And so I want you to bring all of yourself to work.
00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:49.920
And so our conversations will extend beyond the project or projects at hand and extend to how's your family doing?
00:44:50.079 --> 00:44:50.880
How are you doing?
00:44:51.039 --> 00:44:51.280
Right?
00:44:51.440 --> 00:44:52.159
How can I help?
00:44:52.320 --> 00:45:03.920
And these are the kinds of things that create very strong bonds because everyone wants an opportunity to work for someone who cares about them as people.
00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:04.320
Right.
00:45:04.480 --> 00:45:06.320
And that they're not just an employee.
00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:07.440
They're not just a number.
00:45:07.599 --> 00:45:16.639
And so if we extend that mentality into everything that we do and treat people as human beings, seems like a very simple notion.
00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:22.400
But unfortunately, as you well know, not as common these days as one would hope.
00:45:22.639 --> 00:45:22.880
Right.
00:45:23.039 --> 00:45:29.360
And so we can never lose hope so long as we keep humanity at the center of what we do.
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:34.320
My gosh, Miguel, I feel like you're healing parts of me that were wounded.
00:45:34.480 --> 00:45:41.519
You know, generally, like just by saying that, I can tell you that I know my last corporate job was incredibly toxic.
00:45:41.679 --> 00:45:51.599
And my manager was the one who was made like I to by the end of my time working in corporate, it was very much I was having nausea.
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:55.039
I was like my stomach was, you know, was having anxiety.
00:45:55.519 --> 00:45:57.039
Sunday nights, criteria.
00:45:57.199 --> 00:46:00.639
I mean, forget Sunday nights, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, like every night, right?
00:46:00.719 --> 00:46:07.360
Like it was just uh, and then that of course inflicts the the quality of work that I'm able to do.
00:46:07.519 --> 00:46:24.559
And it's it becomes a self-inflicted prophecy of whatever that person is putting on you, you ultimately end up showing poor work and then you're not performing well, and then you're gonna ultimately end up leaving the job, regardless of being either leaving on your own terms or leaving because they put push you out.
00:46:24.800 --> 00:46:44.480
And I I genuinely wish that every company and every place had a Miguel because the way that you share that, I think every person, whether you're a leader, whether
you're a manager, whether you're an individual contributor, whatever work you're doing, yes, you've got wounds, you've got things that you've got to work through.
00:46:44.559 --> 00:46:56.320
But the minute you start projecting that onto somebody else because you haven't worked through your own stuff, you know, you're then also impacting that person's trajectory, their confidence, their future, all of those things.
00:46:56.559 --> 00:47:17.840
That individual, the guidance counselor who told you that, you know, I don't think you should apply to Columbia, the guidance, you know, the dean who told me that I shouldn't even bother graduating from college, all of those play just as much of an impact in our minds and the way then that we operate as does the way that society has conditioned certain people in different neighborhoods to see themselves.
00:47:18.079 --> 00:47:25.840
And Miguel, what you just again show with so much compassion is that we don't have to choose to be that way.
00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:32.480
And we have a choice to have humanity, have compassion, and again, treat people with dignity.
00:47:32.559 --> 00:47:36.079
And when you treat people with dignity, you receive that respect back.
00:47:36.320 --> 00:47:40.159
And that can change all of our communities in the way that we absolutely.
00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:41.920
You you receive it tenfold.
00:47:42.159 --> 00:47:42.400
Yeah.
00:47:42.559 --> 00:47:52.719
Miguel, thank you so much for this beautiful conversation, for the warmth that you bring, for the experiences that you've shared, the stories that you've shared.
00:47:52.880 --> 00:48:03.920
And I really hope that everyone who's listening here, you know, I know right now a lot of change makers are just really exhausted with what's going on in our world and what we have to carry.
00:48:04.079 --> 00:48:17.519
And I just know that what you have just provided is a sense for these change makers and a sense of community that there are change makers like you, Miguel, who help us see that the work is worth it.
00:48:17.920 --> 00:48:18.239
Absolutely.
00:48:18.320 --> 00:48:20.719
Thank you so much for the opportunity to be with you today.
00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:21.360
And Dr.
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:23.280
Barry for the work that you do, right?
00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:25.599
The work that you do is so critically important.
00:48:25.760 --> 00:48:32.880
And I know that there are frustrating days, but never forget, right, the impact that you're having by telling these stories.
00:48:33.119 --> 00:48:38.239
How many people hopefully will be inspired by the conversation that we had today.
00:48:38.320 --> 00:48:41.840
Um, and then multiply that by all of the conversations that you facilitate.
00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:42.960
And so thank you.
00:48:43.199 --> 00:48:49.199
Thank you for the work that you do to uplift communities and to share these stories.
00:48:49.280 --> 00:48:50.880
It's it's very, very important.
00:48:51.440 --> 00:48:51.679
Thank you.
00:48:52.320 --> 00:48:53.199
They're communicating.
00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:54.719
I I receive that.
00:48:54.880 --> 00:48:55.679
I appreciate that.
00:48:55.840 --> 00:48:57.760
And hopefully we'll have you back soon, too.
00:48:58.400 --> 00:48:58.880
Awesome.
00:48:59.360 --> 00:49:00.159
That sounds great.
00:49:01.599 --> 00:49:02.400
Awesome.
00:49:02.719 --> 00:49:10.320
If you're enjoying these episodes, I'd really love it if you could subscribe, leave a review, or share it with your friends and family.
00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:17.360
Your words help others discover that the stories and these episodes exist in the perspectives that we're exploring over here.
00:49:17.519 --> 00:49:24.639
And the more feedback we get from you through those reviews, the more we can make sure that we're creating meaningful episodes that you want to listen to.
00:49:25.440 --> 00:49:26.000
Thank you so much.