TRANSCRIÇÃO 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.759
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, Am I a good person?
00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:05.599
Most people would probably say yes.
00:00:05.759 --> 00:00:12.160
We hold the door open for others, we donate to causes, we smile at strangers, we avoid hurting people.
00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:19.440
But being a good person is not about the small gestures or the little things we do when life is easy.
00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:28.879
It's actually about who we choose to be when no one's watching, when doing the right thing costs us something, or when our patience is being tested.
00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:33.280
Today I want to talk about what it truly means to be a good person.
00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:38.159
Not in theory, but in the messy, everyday moments of real life.
00:00:38.399 --> 00:00:43.359
Somewhere along the way, we confused being a good person with being a nice person.
00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:46.719
But niceness is really about being liked.
00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:49.520
Goodness is about being principled.
00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:51.600
Nice people will avoid conflict.
00:00:51.759 --> 00:00:56.000
Good people face it head on with honesty and respect.
00:00:56.159 --> 00:00:58.719
Nice people want peace at any cost.
00:00:58.960 --> 00:01:03.600
Good people know that peace built on silence isn't really peace at all.
00:01:03.759 --> 00:01:07.920
When I coach managers and leaders, I often see this tension play out.
00:01:08.079 --> 00:01:11.599
A manager tells me, you know, I don't want to upset anyone.
00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:16.480
But what they really mean is I don't want to be uncomfortable.
00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:20.400
But what they really mean is I'm avoiding being uncomfortable.
00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:25.680
Being a good person means you're willing to face discomfort for the sake of what's right.
00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:27.519
It doesn't mean you like conflict.
00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:32.799
It just means you will handle situations because it's right to handle the situation.
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:36.879
Goodness in its truest form isn't about how others perceive you.
00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:40.079
It's about your alignment with your own values.
00:01:40.239 --> 00:01:41.920
So what is goodness made of?
00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:48.400
If we peel it all back, it comes from three places awareness, empathy, and responsibility.
00:01:48.640 --> 00:01:49.359
Awareness.
00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:52.319
You notice the ripple your actions create.
00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:54.319
You pause before you react.
00:01:54.480 --> 00:01:59.200
You think about the tone of voice that you're using and your body language, your words.
00:01:59.439 --> 00:02:04.239
You understand and you are aware that your choices affect people more than you think.
00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:08.800
Imagine walking into a room and feeling like that tension before anyone speaks.
00:02:08.960 --> 00:02:17.759
Being aware means you sense that energy and you choose how
Load full transcript
to respond instead of reacting to it or matching it.
00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:20.560
Awareness is emotional intelligence.
00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:27.599
It's paying paying attention to what your presence brings to a space, what your energy brings to the people around you.
00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:32.800
Empathy is not about rescuing people, it's about understanding them.
00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:39.840
When someone disappoints you, an empathetic person will ask themselves, okay, what's really going on here?
00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:41.759
Why is this behavior happening?
00:02:41.919 --> 00:02:43.120
Why are they acting this way?
00:02:43.280 --> 00:02:44.560
What are they going through?
00:02:44.719 --> 00:02:48.159
That means you try to put yourself in their shoes.
00:02:48.319 --> 00:02:51.199
Empathy at work means you listen before you judge.
00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:57.919
It means you don't just care that people are performing, but you care about how they're doing while they're performing.
00:02:58.080 --> 00:02:59.199
Responsibility.
00:02:59.360 --> 00:03:02.560
Being good also means taking ownership.
00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:06.080
You don't hide behind excuses or blame other people.
00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:13.599
You say I was wrong, you apologize, and then you move to repair the situation or come up with a solution.
00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:18.960
It's not weakness to say I'm wrong, it's actual integrity.
00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:22.000
Integrity, by definition, means wholeness.
00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:26.719
You are the same person in private as you are in public.
00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:27.840
Let's be honest.
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:31.680
Being a good person sounds noble, but it's not always easy.
00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:34.800
It's easy to be kind when people are kind to us.
00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:38.960
It's easy to be honest when no one's feelings are at stake.
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:42.319
It's easy to be patient when everything is going your way.
00:03:42.560 --> 00:03:48.960
But goodness is tested when life really squeezes in on us and makes things challenging.
00:03:49.199 --> 00:03:59.840
When people cut you off in traffic, when a coworker takes credit for the work that you've done, when your team misses a deadline and you're the one left kind of holding the bag or having to explain it.
00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:03.039
These are the moments that will really reveal your character.
00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:07.599
Being a good person doesn't mean you don't feel angry or frustrated.
00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:09.759
We all feel like that sometimes.
00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:15.680
It means though that you don't let your emotions decide who you become in any given moment.
00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:19.199
Being a good person means you manage your emotions.
00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:25.439
You have taken the time to figure out how to show up for people the best way that you can.
00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:39.600
You have learned the skills necessary to be able to pause or breathe or pivot or shift, take a minute to yourself so that you don't explode or have a big reaction and then you take down everybody around you.
00:04:39.839 --> 00:04:44.079
Being a good person means you have learned how to manage your emotions.
00:04:44.240 --> 00:04:48.079
You don't stifle them or push them down and never look at them.
00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:55.759
You just acknowledge them, but you are very, very aware and intentional about how you're going to respond in situations.
00:04:56.000 --> 00:05:01.600
You know, I was in a coffee shop once and a customer had just gotten her coffee.
00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:05.040
It was busy that morning, of course, and the lid was loose.
00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:06.000
It wasn't her fault.
00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:08.720
She went to grab it and the coffee went all over the counter.
00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:15.920
The server let out a big like, it was just she rolled her eyes, she started cleaning it without saying a word to the lady.
00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:19.600
The lady who spilled it looked horrified, embarrassed.
00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:20.560
We've all been there.
00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:22.000
It's an awful feeling.
00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:29.519
I stepped in because I was right close to her in line, and I just said to the lady that spilled it, hey, don't worry about it.
00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:30.639
We've all done it.
00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:32.560
Like I drop things all the time.
00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:34.480
Please don't feel bad that it happened.
00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:35.279
It was an accident.
00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:36.560
I saw you grab it.
00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:38.000
It's not a big deal.
00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:45.920
As soon as I said that, the server, it was like something clicked and she came right full circle and said, Oh, no, no, like, yeah, you're good.
00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:47.439
I'm sorry, like it's sorry that it spilled.
00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:48.800
I'm gonna get you another one.
00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:50.319
Please don't feel bad about it.
00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:54.639
As soon as I was showing compassion, the server showed compassion.
00:05:54.800 --> 00:06:02.959
It was just enough to kind of shake that situation up and bring everybody back into the space that it's not that big a deal.
00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:05.199
The customer appreciated me saying that.
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:08.399
Everybody was kind of laughing and saying, Yeah, I've done it too.
00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:10.560
That was the end of it.
00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:13.360
But that moment, that was quite a few years ago.
00:06:13.439 --> 00:06:19.680
And I remember thinking, holy crap, that just took one little thing and it shifted all the energy.
00:06:19.839 --> 00:06:32.000
And I've taken that with me in all of my leadership training with managers is to say to them, it can be one tiny little thing you say, and it changes all the energy and the dynamics in a situation just like that.
00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:33.600
That's what goodness looks like.
00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:37.040
It's small acts of grace that shift the energy in a room.
00:06:37.199 --> 00:06:42.560
We underestimate how much power we have every day in these tiny little moments.
00:06:42.720 --> 00:06:45.439
A few kind words can diffuse defensiveness.
00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:48.319
A calm response can reset a bad day.
00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:52.480
Being a good person at work isn't about avoiding tough conversations.
00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:54.639
It's about how you have them.
00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:58.879
When leaders act with integrity, their teams will trust them.
00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:03.680
When colleagues show empathy, then collaboration strengthens.
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:08.879
When people take responsibility, your whole workplace can transform.
00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:16.800
I've seen entire departments change because one leader decided to lead with humility instead of ego.
00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:21.600
One manager who says, Hey, I appreciate you, can really shift morale.
00:07:21.759 --> 00:07:26.079
More than a dozen HR initiatives, good people will set the tone.
00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:28.000
They model what's possible.
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:32.160
They prove that kindness and accountability can coexist.
00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:37.279
There's a misconception out there, and I just had this conversation with a client on Zoom.
00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:49.360
He either have been shown this ourselves in the past, or we've been taught that if we are too kind to the people that we are managing, they will not respect us and they will not work hard.
00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:52.879
I am telling you 100%, that is a myth.
00:07:53.040 --> 00:07:54.240
That is false.
00:07:54.480 --> 00:08:09.040
When you are kind and you are respectful and you have integrity and your words match your actions, trust me, your team will respect you, they will admire you, and they will want to work hard for you.
00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:12.879
Now, of course, there's always the yin and yang to things.
00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:14.399
So here's the truth.
00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:18.319
Sometimes being a good person does have a cost.
00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:21.680
You might lose friends who prefer gossip to honesty.
00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:25.439
You might be seen as too soft in competitive environments.
00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:30.240
You might be overlooked by people who mistake humility for weakness.
00:08:30.480 --> 00:08:38.080
But long-term goodness builds credibility, it earns trust that cannot be faked or bought.
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:42.639
I have a client right now who is dealing with this exact situation.
00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:54.159
She is in a corporation, there is a lot of toxicity that it goes on around her and a lot of blaming and backstabbing and just a lot of games.
00:08:54.320 --> 00:09:10.320
And because she walks in full integrity and does not participate in any of those games and calls things out when she has
to and says the truth, she is the least popular person in the room because, well, for two reasons.
00:09:10.480 --> 00:09:13.840
I think sometimes she's actually holding a mirror up to them and they don't like it.
00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:20.240
And number two, they feel like they're connecting when they're making fun of other people or they're gossiping.
00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:22.480
It's so unhealthy.
00:09:22.639 --> 00:09:32.320
So it is really tough when you choose to walk in integrity and be a good person, and you're not around people that have those same values.
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:39.600
You can find yourself on the outside looking in because you're not willing to sacrifice your values to fit in.
00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:43.600
So being good might not always bring you instant rewards.
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:45.679
It brings you peace of mind.
00:09:45.840 --> 00:09:50.639
You can sleep well at night, and that's something money and recognition can't get you.
00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:56.720
Being a good person doesn't just change your day, it changes the days of the people around you.
00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:00.159
Your calmness gives others permission to breathe.
00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:03.120
Your fairness inspires accountability.
00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:05.279
Your kindness builds courage.
00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:14.720
Every small act creates a ripple effect, and those ripples become your workplace, your home, your relationships.
00:10:15.039 --> 00:10:17.440
Behavior becomes legacy.
00:10:17.679 --> 00:10:22.399
You will be known for how you are and who you are in the world.
00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:27.600
Being a good person is not about great big gestures or flawless morals.
00:10:27.759 --> 00:10:33.519
It's about showing up again and again with awareness, empathy, and responsibility.
00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:38.000
It's how you treat people when you gain nothing in return.
00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:41.279
It's how you speak when others are not in the room.
00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:44.799
It's how you respond when the world disappoints you.
00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:48.240
It's how you respond when people disappoint you.
00:10:48.399 --> 00:10:54.720
You can't control everything around you, but you can choose how you're going to be through it.
00:10:54.879 --> 00:11:01.679
You can't control everything around you, but you can choose how and who you're going to be.
00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:09.519
So the next time you're faced with a choice, whether it's big or it's small, just pause for a second and ask yourself, am I being kind?
00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:10.559
Is this fair?
00:11:10.799 --> 00:11:12.159
Am I being honest?
00:11:12.399 --> 00:11:15.600
Can I live with the decision I am about to make?
00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:19.279
Can I sleep well knowing that I'm about to do this or that?
00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:26.559
Because that a moment, because that moment of awareness, those questions are where goodness begins.
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:33.360
And when you live that way, you don't just make life better for yourself, you make life better for others as well.
00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:34.960
And then guess what?
00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:41.360
Being good does have an awesome return because you know you're being a positive impact out there.
00:11:41.600 --> 00:12:00.320
If this message, if this video resonated with you, please subscribe or follow because I'm going to be doing a lot more videos about being a good person, about integrity, about these people skills that I wish everybody worked on.
00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:05.600
The world would be an incredible place if everybody strengthened their people skills.