Transcrição completa de LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.”

00:03:35.490 --> 00:03:38.189 little more grounded and at peace with everything. 79 00:03:38.669 --> 00:03:40.439 Yeah. I've heard you say that you feel like your 80 00:03:40.840 --> 00:03:43.159 real life is starting right now. Yes. 81 00:03:43.740 --> 00:03:47.419 I mean, it's so interesting. I just turned 37 two 82 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:48.800 days ago, which is just like. 83 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:49.960 Happy belated birthday. 84 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:52.460 Thank you. Thank you. I'm just like, but like, that's 85 00:03:52.539 --> 00:03:55.840 so wild to me because I I simultaneously feel 18 86 00:03:55.840 --> 00:04:01.340 and like 85 at the same time. I feel like 87 00:04:02.210 --> 00:04:04.469 so much of my life has not made sense. So 88 00:04:04.509 --> 00:04:07.169 much of my life has not fit a mold of 89 00:04:07.250 --> 00:04:09.310 what I thought I should be doing. 90 00:04:09.409 --> 00:04:09.629 And I. 91 00:04:11.550 --> 00:04:17.199 Moved to LA young, just like threw myself into Hollywood. 92 00:04:17.300 --> 00:04:17.519 Right. 93 00:04:17.540 --> 00:04:19.740 And so that, that causes you to grow up quickly 94 00:04:19.779 --> 00:04:22.149 or in a specific way. And, And I'm just at 95 00:04:22.170 --> 00:04:25.370 this age now where I've done all the things that 96 00:04:25.410 --> 00:04:27.769 I dreamt of, right? I'm at the point now where 97 00:04:27.790 --> 00:04:30.689 I'm having to dream bigger dreams, which is really cool 98 00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:34.819 and just wild that I was able to make those 99 00:04:34.860 --> 00:04:39.019 things happen. But at the same time, I am 37 100 00:04:39.019 --> 00:04:41.600 and my life doesn't necessarily look the way I thought 101 00:04:41.620 --> 00:04:44.430 it would compared to other people my age. 102 00:04:44.509 --> 00:04:45.170 And so.... 103 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:50.199 I'm trying to be better about not comparing myself to 104 00:04:51.060 --> 00:04:53.139 anyone else, but it gets a little harder not to 105 00:04:53.199 --> 00:04:55.199 do that when you hit a certain age. I remember 106 00:04:55.220 --> 00:04:58.079 when I hit 35, I was like, oh, you know, 107 00:04:58.100 --> 00:05:00.579 because I do want kids and I do want specific 108 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:03.660 like benchmarkers. But then I'm like, do I only want 109 00:05:03.699 --> 00:05:05.959 those things because society tells me I need to have 110 00:05:05.990 --> 00:05:08.230 those things or are those actual things that I want? 111 00:05:08.269 --> 00:05:10.069 And so the last year of my life, I've just 112 00:05:10.110 --> 00:05:12.290 had to really sit back and go, what do I want? 113 00:05:12.740 --> 00:05:15.360 not what people expect of me or what my family 114 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:18.279 expects of me or society expects of me. But I 115 00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:20.839 do feel like my life is just beginning because I'm 116 00:05:20.980 --> 00:05:24.319 able to like sleep at night now. I'm able to 117 00:05:24.579 --> 00:05:27.269 forgive myself, to love myself. I'm able to show up 118 00:05:28.509 --> 00:05:31.990 every day, present, clear headed. I love my work more 119 00:05:32.009 --> 00:05:34.949 than ever. And so it's just like a really exciting, 120 00:05:34.970 --> 00:05:39.550 a really exciting time. It's just, I guess you could 121 00:05:39.569 --> 00:05:41.269 call me a late bloomer in a lot of ways. 122 00:05:42.089 --> 00:05:42.769 And I'm okay with that. 123 00:05:43.410 --> 00:05:47.449 That's such a wonderful answer in so many ways. And 124 00:05:47.550 --> 00:05:50.569 I was listening to you and thinking just how we 125 00:05:50.610 --> 00:05:54.699 have these timelines and deadlines on life events. And it 126 00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:59.339 almost feels like that timeline or that deadline will create 127 00:05:59.399 --> 00:06:04.540 some sort of external success or marker. And I think 128 00:06:04.579 --> 00:06:06.860 about all the people I know and I'm like, I 129 00:06:06.899 --> 00:06:10.040 know people who got married in their 20s and then 130 00:06:10.360 --> 00:06:13.040 divorced in their 30s. And I know people who were 131 00:06:13.819 --> 00:06:15.720 single for a long time and found love at 40. 132 00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:18.850 And I know people who didn't have kids, got married 133 00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:20.790 late and then had kids immediately. And then other people 134 00:06:20.810 --> 00:06:22.620 who've been married for 20 years and never had kids. 135 00:06:22.689 --> 00:06:25.769 And when you start looking at real life, you start 136 00:06:25.829 --> 00:06:30.230 noticing how there is no real pattern or trend, but 137 00:06:30.589 --> 00:06:32.930 we all grew up in these small places. And I 138 00:06:33.129 --> 00:06:35.889 can resonate with that where everyone around you did one 139 00:06:35.949 --> 00:06:39.620 thing And you've kind of always maybe done the different thing. Yes. 140 00:06:40.060 --> 00:06:44.180 I feel like I've always inherently felt different. I have 141 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:47.180 always inherently felt like I was on the outside looking in. 142 00:06:47.199 --> 00:06:50.370 I always was the black sheep of my family. And 143 00:06:50.970 --> 00:06:54.009 I never knew where my desire or dreams or gifts 144 00:06:54.310 --> 00:06:56.930 came from. I'm a believer that you are born with them. 145 00:06:56.949 --> 00:07:00.300 I think your gifts, your God-given gifts, that's a part 146 00:07:00.310 --> 00:07:03.339 of your mission for being on planet Earth, right? And 147 00:07:03.379 --> 00:07:07.550 I think that that's culmination of lifetimes of like harnessing 148 00:07:07.589 --> 00:07:10.129 your gifts like the way you communicate the way you 149 00:07:10.209 --> 00:07:12.529 speak with people like there's no doubt if you believe 150 00:07:12.569 --> 00:07:16.730 in past lives like you have honed this gift you 151 00:07:16.750 --> 00:07:19.259 have and you're using it for good I've

always had 152 00:07:19.300 --> 00:07:22.279 that feeling as well like I knew I was I 153 00:07:22.300 --> 00:07:25.139 didn't know if I was like destined for greatness but 154 00:07:25.180 --> 00:07:29.930 I knew I was destined to be different and I 155 00:07:29.959 --> 00:07:32.629 had something like literally just pulling me and guiding me 156 00:07:32.689 --> 00:07:37.519 along the way there were moments like in my life professionally, personally, 157 00:07:37.560 --> 00:07:40.759 where I was like, how the hell did I do this? 158 00:07:40.860 --> 00:07:42.439 How did I get out of this? How am I 159 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:45.990 still alive? How did I achieve this? And I really 160 00:07:46.019 --> 00:07:49.089 believe that that when you just sort of follow that 161 00:07:49.189 --> 00:07:53.910 intuition and that trust, like the universe supports that. The 162 00:07:53.990 --> 00:07:58.310 universe wants you to achieve all of your wildest dreams. 163 00:07:59.110 --> 00:08:03.050 I've always felt like I was here to do things 164 00:08:03.089 --> 00:08:06.019 a little differently. I'm sure everyone feels this way, but 165 00:08:06.060 --> 00:08:11.310 like I, I'm like, are people also feeling things this intensely? 166 00:08:11.589 --> 00:08:14.449 Or it's my Scorpio moon. Then I learned about a 167 00:08:14.470 --> 00:08:17.129 Scorpio moon and I was like, oh, I've just always 168 00:08:17.209 --> 00:08:21.269 had a sense of intensity about me that I used 169 00:08:21.290 --> 00:08:24.079 to really dislike. I used to really shove that down. 170 00:08:24.100 --> 00:08:26.899 I used to really not nurture that part of me. 171 00:08:26.920 --> 00:08:29.839 And when you do that, that leads to a whole 172 00:08:29.879 --> 00:08:33.309 multitude of other problems because that intensity is such a 173 00:08:33.330 --> 00:08:36.649 big part of who I am. And dulling that down 174 00:08:36.750 --> 00:08:40.850 and having shame about that caused me a lot of 175 00:08:40.889 --> 00:08:43.240 distress and pain in my life. And so I've had 176 00:08:43.259 --> 00:08:46.440 to learn to honor and like that part of me. 177 00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:49.360 And that is the work, is liking the parts of 178 00:08:49.379 --> 00:08:52.500 you that you're supposed to dislike. 179 00:08:52.779 --> 00:08:55.860 This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda. 180 00:08:56.460 --> 00:08:59.679 Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through 181 00:08:59.700 --> 00:09:03.019 the habits we build before we ever need them. That's 182 00:09:03.059 --> 00:09:07.179 the philosophy behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features that 183 00:09:07.220 --> 00:09:10.299 help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged, 184 00:09:10.659 --> 00:09:13.590 Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings. 185 00:09:14.149 --> 00:09:17.509 It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new 186 00:09:17.549 --> 00:09:21.519 car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won 187 00:09:21.639 --> 00:09:27.120 more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any 188 00:09:27.179 --> 00:09:33.470 other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot 189 00:09:33.490 --> 00:09:38.070 can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit mazdausa.com to learn more. 190 00:09:38.570 --> 00:09:42.230 Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. I actually 191 00:09:42.250 --> 00:09:45.720 think what you're saying is very accurate, that a lot 192 00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:50.629 of people do feel things deeply. and do experience a 193 00:09:50.710 --> 00:09:53.129 lot going on in their mind and head. And either 194 00:09:53.149 --> 00:09:55.690 they can't articulate it or they don't know why it's there. 195 00:09:55.710 --> 00:09:57.389 Or you think you're not supposed to. 196 00:09:57.389 --> 00:09:59.009 Or you think you're not supposed to. And so I 197 00:09:59.049 --> 00:10:02.559 was going to ask you, why did you suppress those thoughts? 198 00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:04.639 Was it because you thought you weren't supposed to have them? 199 00:10:05.159 --> 00:10:11.590 From a very young age, I have memories of experiencing 200 00:10:11.649 --> 00:10:14.970 things maybe that I shouldn't have experienced or seen. And 201 00:10:16.110 --> 00:10:22.389 I've very early memories of taking on other people's emotions 202 00:10:22.429 --> 00:10:24.549 that weren't mine. And I think like it could have 203 00:10:24.570 --> 00:10:27.070 just been like the part of the world I was 204 00:10:27.129 --> 00:10:30.080 raised in the time. It was kind of like the 205 00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:32.980 mentality of be good. It was like the be good, 206 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:35.200 be good, smile, that kind of thing. And like when 207 00:10:35.220 --> 00:10:37.580 you're told that as and that's not like unique to 208 00:10:37.620 --> 00:10:39.440 just me. I think it was just like growing up 209 00:10:39.480 --> 00:10:42.159 in the 90s. It was like little girls were supposed 210 00:10:42.200 --> 00:10:44.600 to just like be good, be smile, polite, go hug them, 211 00:10:44.620 --> 00:10:48.370 go shake their hand. And there wasn't really space. for me, 212 00:10:48.389 --> 00:10:51.789 I felt like to always be me. Like I was 213 00:10:52.110 --> 00:10:56.840 sometimes labeled a very emotional child, verbatim, a difficult child. 214 00:10:56.940 --> 00:10:59.320 And I think back and I was like, let me 215 00:10:59.419 --> 00:11:03.759 also preface with, I have beautiful parents who loved me 216 00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:06.779 in the best way they knew how. And they also 217 00:11:06.820 --> 00:11:09.240 in their way were kids as well growing up. So 218 00:11:09.259 --> 00:11:11.379 I just want to like set the stage there. But 219 00:11:11.419 --> 00:11:13.539 I think, you know, and I reflect back on my 220 00:11:13.580 --> 00:11:16.620 childhood and I never felt like I was a difficult child. 221 00:11:16.669 --> 00:11:20.519

It felt like There wasn't like an emotional safety net always. 222 00:11:20.700 --> 00:11:24.399 And I carried that through. Up until now, I still 223 00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:28.580 work on that, like allowing myself to feel these uglier 224 00:11:28.659 --> 00:11:31.899 emotions and knowing that it's okay and safe for me 225 00:11:31.960 --> 00:11:33.980 to do that. People will still love me and my 226 00:11:34.139 --> 00:11:36.399 people will still show up for me. Like, I feel 227 00:11:36.419 --> 00:11:39.809 like people that meet me would automatically assume that I 228 00:11:40.210 --> 00:11:44.029 am that way. But in my interpersonal relationships, like I 229 00:11:44.049 --> 00:11:45.950 can be a bit guarded and have walls up because 230 00:11:45.970 --> 00:11:51.909 I'm afraid sometimes to expressed, like, I have, like, little 231 00:11:51.970 --> 00:11:55.169 monsters in me that are super intense, right? And, like, 232 00:11:55.250 --> 00:11:59.309 we all have different pathways. And I truly believe, like, 233 00:11:59.370 --> 00:12:02.789 we all have this, like, soul blueprint. We all have 234 00:12:02.820 --> 00:12:07.159 a specific mission and purpose and reason for being here. 235 00:12:07.620 --> 00:12:09.820 I do believe in destiny in a way. I do 236 00:12:09.860 --> 00:12:11.919 believe we have free will to get to that destiny. 237 00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:16.019 But we're not all meant to be a successful actress. 238 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:18.460 We're not all meant to have kids and be married 239 00:12:18.539 --> 00:12:23.659 by 35 I think we all have specific lessons that 240 00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:27.580 we want to learn and for some people you learn 241 00:12:27.620 --> 00:12:30.799 those lessons by getting married young and having kids young 242 00:12:31.159 --> 00:12:33.960 for some people it's like finding success really young for 243 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:36.860 some people it's addiction for some people it's loss grief 244 00:12:37.460 --> 00:12:40.279 and I just think that's so beautiful like that I 245 00:12:40.340 --> 00:12:43.399 choose to see life through that lens because it's the 246 00:12:43.460 --> 00:12:45.399 only thing that really makes sense to me I'm like 247 00:12:45.460 --> 00:12:48.000 otherwise why what do you mean? Like, what do you mean? 248 00:12:48.039 --> 00:12:51.860 Why are we here? I think it's to evolve and grow. 249 00:12:51.980 --> 00:12:55.500 And I'm saying all that, you know, if anyone's listening 250 00:12:55.519 --> 00:12:58.519 to this, who's like going through something where you're comparing 251 00:12:58.570 --> 00:13:01.730 your life to someone else, like comparison is going to 252 00:13:01.990 --> 00:13:05.490 snatch you right out of your own alignment. And I 253 00:13:05.549 --> 00:13:09.210 think that that's why sometimes social media and media in 254 00:13:09.269 --> 00:13:14.549 general can be really, really troubling and scary because I'm 255 00:13:14.590 --> 00:13:17.139 guilty

of it as well. Like I'll think I'm supposed 256 00:13:17.179 --> 00:13:19.799 to be doing this kind of acting role or think 257 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:22.889 I'm supposed to be making this TikTok video or like 258 00:13:22.970 --> 00:13:25.470 looking a certain way or having certain things. And the 259 00:13:25.669 --> 00:13:28.850 easiest way to get out of your like blueprint is 260 00:13:28.950 --> 00:13:32.549 to get too hyper focused on what's going on around you. 261 00:13:32.629 --> 00:13:36.889 So I mean, it's easier said than done, obviously. But yeah, 262 00:13:36.929 --> 00:13:39.730 just releasing the narrative of what your life is supposed 263 00:13:39.769 --> 00:13:42.389 to look like. Like my life does not look like 264 00:13:42.429 --> 00:13:44.289 how I thought it would, but it looks better in 265 00:13:44.379 --> 00:13:45.389 so many other ways. So. 266 00:13:45.690 --> 00:13:49.350 How do we actually stop comparing ourselves to others? I 267 00:13:49.370 --> 00:13:49.629 don't know. 268 00:13:49.669 --> 00:13:51.750 Do you know? When you find out, let me know. 269 00:13:52.549 --> 00:13:53.799 What have you tried? What has worked? 270 00:13:54.220 --> 00:13:59.620 I feel like the only way you can drown out 271 00:13:59.659 --> 00:14:05.039 the noise is you have to face yourself. You have 272 00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:10.289 to be brutally honest with yourself. that to me is 273 00:14:10.370 --> 00:14:13.149 the single most important thing a human can do. Because 274 00:14:13.289 --> 00:14:15.230 everyone's always like, well, what's your advice for people? My 275 00:14:15.269 --> 00:14:17.330 advice is for people to not listen to advice. I 276 00:14:17.389 --> 00:14:21.679 think we all have an inner knowing, an inner voice. 277 00:14:21.700 --> 00:14:25.039 It is there. It actually speaks to us very loudly, 278 00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:29.759 very clearly. You just have to be still enough or 279 00:14:30.059 --> 00:14:35.269 remove distraction enough to hear it. I always look back 280 00:14:35.350 --> 00:14:37.659 on my life And I was like, oh, I was 281 00:14:37.740 --> 00:14:40.620 cut off from spirituality. I was cut off from connection. 282 00:14:40.879 --> 00:14:44.610 Absolutely not. That connection is given to all of us equally. 283 00:14:44.620 --> 00:14:46.429 It's like the sun, right? Like the sun is always 284 00:14:46.470 --> 00:14:48.830 going to shine on people. The sun isn't like, no, 285 00:14:48.850 --> 00:14:51.330 you get three rays, you get one ray. No, it's 286 00:14:51.370 --> 00:14:54.250 always there. And I am a believer that that connection 287 00:14:54.309 --> 00:14:57.149 to fill in the blank of whatever word you want 288 00:14:57.169 --> 00:15:00.750 to put. I say God, I say spirit. It's always 289 00:15:00.820 --> 00:15:04.779 there and we cut it off. Um, And that was 290 00:15:04.820 --> 00:15:07.080 such a relief for me to know like, oh my God, 291 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:10.419 I was always taken care of. And it really is 292 00:15:10.460 --> 00:15:14.080 a journey coming back home to yourself. And I think 293 00:15:14.179 --> 00:15:16.769 for me, it was all part of my plan. It 294 00:15:16.809 --> 00:15:18.389 was all part of the plan for me to go 295 00:15:18.429 --> 00:15:21.789 through all the things because my God, I feel like 296 00:15:21.850 --> 00:15:24.190 I would be so much more of a boring person 297 00:15:24.210 --> 00:15:27.110 without that story because it gave me so much empathy 298 00:15:27.210 --> 00:15:30.230 for others. And I don't know if I would respect 299 00:15:30.289 --> 00:15:32.090 and love myself in the way I do today if 300 00:15:32.149 --> 00:15:35.559 I hadn't gone through the things I'd gone through. But 301 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:38.679 we were talking about comparison and this is how my 302 00:15:38.720 --> 00:15:39.139 brain works. 303 00:15:39.159 --> 00:15:40.519 I'll be like, I love it. 304 00:15:40.679 --> 00:15:43.100 The comparison thing. I mean, there is a way where 305 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:47.259 you can use comparison as fuel, like whenever, because I'm 306 00:15:47.299 --> 00:15:50.100 a person where I don't like to use the word jealousy, 307 00:15:50.179 --> 00:15:52.740 but I go, oh, wow, look at what they did. 308 00:15:53.379 --> 00:15:56.019 I want to do that. That's amazing. Good for them. 309 00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:57.879 I don't want to take that from them, but I 310 00:15:57.899 --> 00:15:59.460 want to do something like that. I think you can 311 00:15:59.480 --> 00:16:02.419 like do a reframe. I love a reframe, by the way. Like, 312 00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:06.940 I think we all have these like uglier emotions, like envy, jealousy, anger, rage. 313 00:16:08.200 --> 00:16:11.679 And we're told that we're not supposed to express those, 314 00:16:11.779 --> 00:16:15.279 but there is a healthier outlet, I think, for comparison. 315 00:16:15.740 --> 00:16:18.070 And I think just like use that as fuel to 316 00:16:18.090 --> 00:16:20.629 go after what you want. What's for you is not 317 00:16:20.649 --> 00:16:22.649 gonna miss you. It's gonna find you. It might not 318 00:16:22.690 --> 00:16:25.149 be on your timeline or how you think it'll look, 319 00:16:25.350 --> 00:16:27.529 but nothing can get in the way of that. 320 00:16:27.730 --> 00:16:29.750 I wanted to go back to asking you a bit 321 00:16:29.789 --> 00:16:31.549 about your childhood as you explained it there. I wanted 322 00:16:31.570 --> 00:16:33.950 to ask you like, Do you have a childhood memory 323 00:16:33.970 --> 00:16:36.169 that you believe defines who you are today? 324 00:16:36.190 --> 00:16:40.750 In my childhood home, we had this, I still remember 325 00:16:40.769 --> 00:16:43.240 the backyard so clearly, but we had just one tree 326 00:16:43.659 --> 00:16:48.399 in the yard. And I spent so much time alone 327 00:16:48.580 --> 00:16:51.269 up in the tree. I buried my dead goldfish under 328 00:16:51.289 --> 00:16:54.320

the tree. I buried, I had like frogs and hermit 329 00:16:54.360 --> 00:16:56.580 crabs and I have always loved animals and I would 330 00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:58.669 make like a little pet cemetery but I would go 331 00:16:58.769 --> 00:17:00.990 in this tree and I would brainstorm and I would 332 00:17:01.070 --> 00:17:03.629 play make-believe to the point where I was like actually 333 00:17:03.690 --> 00:17:09.029 living it and I think that that perfectly captures who 334 00:17:09.230 --> 00:17:14.599 I am because I am quite internal and more introverted 335 00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:16.640 I think than a lot of people might realize and 336 00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:20.700 I feel like I get my most insights or downloads 337 00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:25.799 or creativity in solitude and I feel like I need 338 00:17:25.859 --> 00:17:29.240 more solitude than most people and that used to scare 339 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:31.740 me because I think like isolation and solitude there's a 340 00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:35.319 very fine line and I can tend to isolate that 341 00:17:35.380 --> 00:17:37.839 perfectly defines me me alone in a tree. 342 00:17:39.380 --> 00:17:40.220 Do you have a treehouse? 343 00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:40.559 Yeah. 344 00:17:40.940 --> 00:17:42.779 No. I really wanted a treehouse as a kid. I 345 00:17:42.839 --> 00:17:43.619 still want one today. 346 00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:44.759 No, I didn't have a treehouse. 347 00:17:44.779 --> 00:17:46.200 I have a friend who has the coolest treehouse. 348 00:17:46.220 --> 00:17:48.220 I want to live in a treehouse. Maybe one day. 349 00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:51.859 Talk to me about what makes you feel the most still. 350 00:17:52.140 --> 00:17:54.220 I'm a busybody. I don't know about you. Is it 351 00:17:54.289 --> 00:17:55.289 easy for you to be still? 352 00:17:55.529 --> 00:17:56.250 I'd say fairly. 353 00:17:56.269 --> 00:17:57.210 Fairly. 354 00:17:57.250 --> 00:18:00.710 But that's because I'm spoiled because I had those three 355 00:18:00.750 --> 00:18:02.930 years where stillness was such a priority in my life. 356 00:18:03.569 --> 00:18:06.410 And so I know what I'm going back to and 357 00:18:06.450 --> 00:18:09.019 I know the value of it. And so I'm spoiled 358 00:18:09.079 --> 00:18:10.890 and I have a cheat code in that we did it. 359 00:18:10.920 --> 00:18:15.720 And so I can switch pretty by time and by space. 360 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:20.380 I love that. It's very, very, very hard for me 361 00:18:20.420 --> 00:18:25.039 to be still. I mean, monkey mind times a million. 362 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:28.720 And I think I've also had to become friends with 363 00:18:28.769 --> 00:18:31.960 that as well because... The more you fight something, the 364 00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:34.279 more it's, you know what I'm saying? 365 00:18:34.460 --> 00:18:36.940 But I like that because it's relatable. That's what people, like, 366 00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:38.200 everyone feels that way. 367 00:18:38.339 --> 00:18:40.819 Yeah, I'm like a doer. I feel like I have 368 00:18:40.859 --> 00:18:43.420 a lot of that masculine energy where I'm just like, 369 00:18:43.529 --> 00:18:46.069 I'm going to go out and do something. And I have, like, 370 00:18:46.150 --> 00:18:50.250 I've built my life because you have to. Like, I've 371 00:18:50.289 --> 00:18:53.069 always just, like, seen the thing, seen the next step, 372 00:18:53.170 --> 00:18:55.930 take action and do it. But it's actually a little 373 00:18:55.950 --> 00:18:59.069 more challenging for me to be more in that feminine 374 00:18:59.089 --> 00:19:04.150 role softer, quieter energy. I really struggle with it. I'm 375 00:19:04.170 --> 00:19:07.940 not going to lie. I'm still trying to find time 376 00:19:08.039 --> 00:19:10.180 every day where I can just be. I mean, of 377 00:19:10.220 --> 00:19:13.640 course I do the things. I do meditation. Sometimes it's 378 00:19:13.700 --> 00:19:15.339 on for like two minutes and I'm like, we're done 379 00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:19.799 for today. I've recently gotten into breath work. That does 380 00:19:20.259 --> 00:19:24.799 wonders for me. But it's really, you know, I think 381 00:19:24.839 --> 00:19:28.630 just like simply being outside helps me When in doubt, 382 00:19:28.710 --> 00:19:30.329 I always say when in doubt, go for a walk. 383 00:19:30.710 --> 00:19:32.309 I'm a big walker. When I need to think, when 384 00:19:32.349 --> 00:19:34.920 I need an answer on something, I go out and walk, 385 00:19:34.940 --> 00:19:38.660 which isn't necessarily stillness, but it's a version of it 386 00:19:39.700 --> 00:19:40.079 for me. 387 00:19:40.500 --> 00:19:43.460 Why do you think you lived in your masculine for 388 00:19:43.509 --> 00:19:47.630 so long and what helps you reconnect to your feminine? 389 00:19:48.130 --> 00:19:52.539 I think a lot of it is... I like to 390 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:56.029 be in control because when I'm in control, I feel safe. 391 00:19:56.569 --> 00:19:59.230 I don't know when I developed that, but I would 392 00:19:59.269 --> 00:20:03.069 say probably pretty early on, probably wanting to control the 393 00:20:03.130 --> 00:20:08.339 environment around me. I, um, I like in my teens 394 00:20:08.380 --> 00:20:11.509 was doing stuff to like control my weight and, but 395 00:20:11.569 --> 00:20:16.849 it all like anything physical is just an emotional, spiritual, 396 00:20:17.390 --> 00:20:20.869 like need wanting to control something. But the thing is 397 00:20:20.970 --> 00:20:24.960 like that type of energy can make you, it brings success. 398 00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:30.079 It like, it has rewards that it comes from wanting 399 00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:33.980 to be in control and like the anxiety that comes 400 00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:37.410 if I'm not in control. And, um, That is something 401 00:20:37.450 --> 00:20:38.819 I'm definitely working on. 402 00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:41.559 Yeah, yeah. I mean, it makes sense because I

feel 403 00:20:41.579 --> 00:20:44.500 like you became famous at a time when young women 404 00:20:44.539 --> 00:20:47.859 were being picked apart on the internet and social media, 405 00:20:48.259 --> 00:20:53.529 like completely pit against each other, comparison competition. Yeah. Talk 406 00:20:53.549 --> 00:20:57.269 to me about how you tried to navigate that and 407 00:20:57.490 --> 00:21:01.150 how that affected your self-confidence, self-worth. Oh, man. 408 00:21:02.150 --> 00:21:06.529 It really was a different time. This was like 2010. 409 00:21:06.529 --> 00:21:10.950 you know, Instagram's just popping off, I think. Twitter's just beginning. 410 00:21:11.769 --> 00:21:14.539 But it was just so different. Like, we didn't have 411 00:21:14.579 --> 00:21:18.019 the whole body positivity movement yet. And of course, I'm 412 00:21:18.059 --> 00:21:22.859 like 18, 19, 20. I wasn't quite yet confident in 413 00:21:22.920 --> 00:21:25.980 who I was, my value. I had no value system. 414 00:21:27.980 --> 00:21:31.180 I wasn't confident in my gifts. It was like, okay, well, 415 00:21:31.859 --> 00:21:34.400 I can control the way people perceive me and the 416 00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:38.019 way I look. So let's try and control that. That'll 417 00:21:38.059 --> 00:21:41.619 be fun. And then it just kind of became an obsession, 418 00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:44.579 I think, even pre being in front of the camera. 419 00:21:44.599 --> 00:21:47.660 And I also want to be clear that like the 420 00:21:47.700 --> 00:21:50.500 TV show and shows I was a part of, there 421 00:21:50.539 --> 00:21:54.480 wasn't any pressure for me to from producers or anything 422 00:21:54.519 --> 00:21:57.980 to look a specific way. It was more a societal 423 00:21:58.039 --> 00:22:00.680 point of view, I think. And It was pressure I 424 00:22:00.700 --> 00:22:03.680 was putting on myself. Not blaming other people for the 425 00:22:03.720 --> 00:22:06.650 things I've gone through has given me so much freedom. So, 426 00:22:07.269 --> 00:22:10.730 you know, I was choosing the career path. I was choosing, 427 00:22:11.269 --> 00:22:13.490 it was all me, the pressure I was putting on myself. But, 428 00:22:14.289 --> 00:22:19.410 you know, like, the media doesn't make it that easy. 429 00:22:19.710 --> 00:22:21.859 I mean, I can't even imagine now growing up as 430 00:22:21.900 --> 00:22:22.160 a young. 431 00:22:22.460 --> 00:22:24.000 You think it's got harder? Oh, my God. 432 00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:29.039 Like, I have nieces. They're 8 and 11, 9 and 11. 433 00:22:30.589 --> 00:22:34.289 And I'm just like, I can't imagine having all that 434 00:22:34.390 --> 00:22:37.279 at my fingertips when I was that age. Although I 435 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.319 do feel, not to take such a negative spin on it, 436 00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:44.099 I do feel like the younger generations are so loving 437 00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:48.859 and accepting. But I feel like millennials, like we shifted 438 00:22:48.900 --> 00:22:52.039 a lot. And then Gen Z and what's below Gen Z? 439 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:52.839 Gen A. 440 00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:55.420 There's just a lot of acceptance and love and like 441 00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:59.319 free spiritedness that I really appreciate. But I do feel 442 00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:02.380 like I don't know if the pressure's gotten worse, but 443 00:23:02.640 --> 00:23:05.759 I mean, social media is a beast, you know? And 444 00:23:06.140 --> 00:23:11.000 I feel like more than ever, we're criticizing women's bodies again. Like, 445 00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:15.329 why are we doing this again? And clearly, like, it 446 00:23:15.410 --> 00:23:21.769 triggers me badly because it is not our business what 447 00:23:21.849 --> 00:23:24.490 people do to their bodies, what they look like, how 448 00:23:24.529 --> 00:23:27.619 their decisions they choose to make regarding their bodies or 449 00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:30.000 their face. Like, but it's also clear to me that 450 00:23:30.829 --> 00:23:33.450 people in the public eye are a blank page for 451 00:23:33.490 --> 00:23:36.519 people to project their own stuff onto. So I think 452 00:23:36.539 --> 00:23:39.579 it's just kind of like a chaotic vortex. But I 453 00:23:39.819 --> 00:23:43.180 just like the last year or so of just, it 454 00:23:43.220 --> 00:23:45.319 feels like the pendulum has swung the other way with 455 00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:49.579 how we're talking about women in the media. It doesn't help. 456 00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:53.539 Like it doesn't, if someone's going through something, criticizing them, 457 00:23:55.099 --> 00:23:58.349 in a Reddit chat, like how does that help anyone? 458 00:23:58.460 --> 00:24:02.650 I just get, I get very, very defensive, especially of 459 00:24:02.710 --> 00:24:05.630 women in the public eye, of women in general. Like 460 00:24:05.690 --> 00:24:08.289 I just want justice for people. And I'm like, maybe 461 00:24:08.329 --> 00:24:10.869 I need to sit with, why does that bring up 462 00:24:10.910 --> 00:24:14.089 so much for me? Maybe I felt like I haven't 463 00:24:14.109 --> 00:24:16.150 always been protected in certain ways. I don't know, but 464 00:24:16.890 --> 00:24:20.619 it definitely affected how I viewed myself. And I think 465 00:24:20.650 --> 00:24:23.150 just like being in front of a camera and, I 466 00:24:23.170 --> 00:24:27.109 have very clear memories of like first season of Pretty 467 00:24:27.130 --> 00:24:32.079 Little Liars. Obviously so excited, like couldn't believe I was 468 00:24:32.099 --> 00:24:34.700 a part of this opportunity. But also like that was 469 00:24:34.759 --> 00:24:39.299 when my insecurities really flared up. Like I remember we 470 00:24:39.339 --> 00:24:42.329 had someone who worked on the show. He did something 471 00:24:42.369 --> 00:24:45.769 with lighting on the show. And something was pointed out 472 00:24:45.829 --> 00:24:49.009 about my face. And I remember I had never

noticed 473 00:24:49.049 --> 00:24:52.529 that about my face before. to this day I won't 474 00:24:52.569 --> 00:24:54.509 say what it is but to this day I still 475 00:24:54.650 --> 00:24:57.670 hyper focus on that so it's just really interesting how 476 00:24:57.710 --> 00:24:59.609 like we can hear something one time and it can 477 00:24:59.650 --> 00:25:02.569 affect our brain can like hold on to that and 478 00:25:02.630 --> 00:25:06.609 rewire to attach to that narrative or identity I mean 479 00:25:06.650 --> 00:25:09.799 it was really confronting being on being in front of 480 00:25:09.819 --> 00:25:11.500 the camera while I was still trying to figure out 481 00:25:11.539 --> 00:25:12.980 who I was as a woman but like at the 482 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:15.380 same time I was living my dream and so it 483 00:25:15.420 --> 00:25:17.980 was like a good payoff for me did the other. 484 00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:20.099 Cast members of pretty little liars know what you were 485 00:25:20.119 --> 00:25:22.210 going through And did you know what they were going through? 486 00:25:22.509 --> 00:25:24.720 Sasha on the show, like we've talked a lot about this. 487 00:25:24.759 --> 00:25:27.640 Like she had a lot of, she went through some 488 00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:29.859 health issues and she's talked about this publicly. I'm not 489 00:25:30.099 --> 00:25:32.759 speaking out of line. And she had it pretty hard. 490 00:25:32.839 --> 00:25:34.920 Like the public was not very kind to her. 491 00:25:35.170 --> 00:25:36.430 Did you talk about it then? 492 00:25:36.470 --> 00:25:38.910 No, just now, just now. I'd love to sit down 493 00:25:38.950 --> 00:25:41.750 with other gals and chat about their experience. 494 00:25:42.089 --> 00:25:42.849 We need a reunion. 495 00:25:43.089 --> 00:25:45.680 We need a reunion. We really do. I see them, 496 00:25:46.140 --> 00:25:48.240 you know, from time to time. Yeah, like randomly I 497 00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:50.579 ran into Ashley not too long ago and I saw 498 00:25:50.619 --> 00:25:54.440 Shay at the gym and I saw Troyan at a concert. 499 00:25:54.559 --> 00:25:57.019 So it's like we're seeing each other and everyone's doing 500 00:25:57.880 --> 00:26:01.660 so well. And it's just like, it's so wonderful to 501 00:26:01.700 --> 00:26:03.019 be at this point in my life where I can 502 00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:06.259 look back at that time and only feel the good 503 00:26:06.599 --> 00:26:08.420 because there was a time in my life where I 504 00:26:08.549 --> 00:26:11.549 felt kind of ashamed of who I was during that 505 00:26:11.589 --> 00:26:14.089 time in my life. I know that's probably crazy to hear. 506 00:26:14.759 --> 00:26:20.619 but I was struggling so much internally and was frustrated 507 00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:23.759 at the world because they didn't understand my pain, yet 508 00:26:23.920 --> 00:26:26.519 I wasn't expressing myself. I didn't know how to find 509 00:26:26.539 --> 00:26:28.059 the words to express what I was going through. I 510 00:26:28.680 --> 00:26:32.079 wasn't ready to face myself. I wasn't ready to ask 511 00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:34.799 for help. And since then, I've kind of spoken to 512 00:26:34.819 --> 00:26:36.920 a lot of people involved in the show, and they've 513 00:26:36.940 --> 00:26:39.579 shown me so much grace, as they always did. Like, 514 00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:41.869 I don't think people understood. I think there were moments 515 00:26:41.900 --> 00:26:44.960 when people were maybe a little upset or angry, but 516 00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:49.160 it's only because they didn't know. And, you know, just 517 00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:53.259 being able to hold myself accountable, the best feeling in 518 00:26:53.299 --> 00:26:55.680 the world, to see your part in something and to 519 00:26:55.720 --> 00:26:59.509 apologize to someone and for them to receive that. Like, 520 00:27:00.289 --> 00:27:03.529 I've been gifted so many opportunities from the universe doing 521 00:27:03.549 --> 00:27:06.710 that because I've had to apologize to a lot of people. 522 00:27:07.269 --> 00:27:10.450 I hurt a lot of people in my life. And 523 00:27:10.890 --> 00:27:15.460 it's really blown my mind actually how like the universe 524 00:27:15.480 --> 00:27:18.250 has conspired for me to run into people that I like, 525 00:27:18.289 --> 00:27:20.230 I didn't even have their number anymore. And I knew 526 00:27:20.289 --> 00:27:21.750 like I had a list of people I really wanted 527 00:27:21.769 --> 00:27:24.190 to apologize to and I would just run into them 528 00:27:24.509 --> 00:27:28.569 and I'd get to apologize to them. And, um, just 529 00:27:28.630 --> 00:27:31.130 like being able to clean up my side of the 530 00:27:31.170 --> 00:27:34.829 street is I just feel free, you know, it's a 531 00:27:34.829 --> 00:27:35.210 good feeling. 532 00:27:35.650 --> 00:27:38.690 What was the hardest apology you had to myself? 533 00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:41.819 Sorry. I don't know what that makes me emotional. I 534 00:27:41.880 --> 00:27:51.779 think Forgiving myself has been hard, and it's still something 535 00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:56.700 where I have to actively choose to have compassion for 536 00:27:56.740 --> 00:28:03.619 myself and to know that I haven't done anything wrong. 537 00:28:04.299 --> 00:28:07.940 I'm not made up of all my mistakes or my 538 00:28:07.980 --> 00:28:10.359 bad decisions or how I've treated people or how I've 539 00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:12.980 treated myself. It's really about how I, for a lot 540 00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:17.460 of my life, was sabotaging my life. I was self-sabotaging 541 00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:23.549 in such a big way. And it's truly a miracle 542 00:28:23.630 --> 00:28:26.869 that I was able to get out of it. There's 543 00:28:26.890 --> 00:28:29.410 so many stories, like, I don't know if I'll ever 544 00:28:29.470 --> 00:28:33.609 be able to share, but I truly believe I've been 545 00:28:33.710 -->

00:28:40.210 protected by an unseen force that loves me. But yes, 546 00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:47.329 forgiving myself is a daily choice. because I'll be doing okay. 547 00:28:47.349 --> 00:28:49.369 I'll be doing okay. I'll be doing okay. Something will 548 00:28:49.410 --> 00:28:52.609 trigger a memory or I'll get a text message. Something 549 00:28:52.650 --> 00:28:55.690 will bring me back to a memory. And I realize, 550 00:28:55.869 --> 00:28:59.809 holy crap, there's so much shame I'm still carrying. But 551 00:28:59.869 --> 00:29:01.710 that's like a part of it, right? Like you don't 552 00:29:01.769 --> 00:29:05.230 just do the work. I hate that saying, but like 553 00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:07.859 do the work, do the healing. And your life is 554 00:29:07.920 --> 00:29:12.940 just like shiny, sparkly, wonderful. No, like it's, you are 555 00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:17.359 actively like unpacking for the rest of your life. It's 556 00:29:17.380 --> 00:29:20.059 like unpacking it, but being like, oh, I see why 557 00:29:20.099 --> 00:29:22.039 you had to do that. Like I'm at the point 558 00:29:22.099 --> 00:29:24.140 now where I'm like, oh, I see why I was 559 00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:27.119 drinking to escape. I actually see how drinking was saving 560 00:29:27.160 --> 00:29:29.789 my life because it is the only thing that was 561 00:29:29.849 --> 00:29:32.569 keeping me going for a while. But I think when 562 00:29:32.789 --> 00:29:36.289 I've been able to forgive myself more, I'm only able 563 00:29:36.329 --> 00:29:38.430 to forgive the people in my life. The more I 564 00:29:38.470 --> 00:29:40.839 love myself, the more I can love myself. family and friends. 565 00:29:41.859 --> 00:29:45.380 I think that's just how it works. And so interesting. 566 00:29:45.420 --> 00:29:48.420 Like I've obviously talked about all of this so much, 567 00:29:48.819 --> 00:29:53.329 years of therapy, years of unpacking. And it's just interesting 568 00:29:53.369 --> 00:29:56.589 that like certain things can still hit something in me 569 00:29:57.670 --> 00:30:02.789 that's just really true. And I think that's a universal feeling. 570 00:30:02.930 --> 00:30:06.299 Like being ashamed is just a really bad feeling that 571 00:30:08.140 --> 00:30:13.059 is like a contagion as well. It's important though. I 572 00:30:13.079 --> 00:30:16.779 think self-forgiveness is like the first step in anything. I 573 00:30:16.819 --> 00:30:19.140 don't do 12-step anymore, but that is like one of 574 00:30:19.180 --> 00:30:23.309 the first steps is, well, admitting you're powerless over something, 575 00:30:23.349 --> 00:30:25.579 but also forgiving yourself. 576 00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:28.019 It's really interesting we were talking about about this a 577 00:30:28.059 --> 00:30:32.200 bit earlier in this idea of how sometimes and and 578 00:30:32.220 --> 00:30:36.299 you just put it brilliantly we have this belief that 579 00:30:36.339 --> 00:30:37.799 i'm going to do the work and then my life's 580 00:30:37.819 --> 00:30:39.640 going to be amazing and it's going to be shiny 581 00:30:40.380 --> 00:30:41.900 or i do the work and then it's done and 582 00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:44.640 then i get to live and the reality is it's 583 00:30:44.700 --> 00:30:48.349 cyclical it's you feel renewed and then you're back doing 584 00:30:48.380 --> 00:30:50.150 the work and then you review something and you're back 585 00:30:50.170 --> 00:30:53.190 doing the work And it's this cycle that keeps perpetuating. 586 00:30:53.250 --> 00:30:55.910 And I've only, it's only hit me very recently how 587 00:30:57.119 --> 00:31:01.400 people are carrying so much shame and guilt internally that 588 00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:05.500 it's destroying their life externally, but they can't see the 589 00:31:05.539 --> 00:31:09.900 connection or make the connection. People may feel guilt internally 590 00:31:10.299 --> 00:31:13.660 and that's losing them a job opportunity externally. And we 591 00:31:13.700 --> 00:31:17.839 feel so bad for feeling those emotions, but because we 592 00:31:17.880 --> 00:31:20.240 don't ask for help, we don't communicate them. We don't, 593 00:31:20.740 --> 00:31:23.960 know what to do with them, the external life just 594 00:31:24.359 --> 00:31:25.000 falls apart. 595 00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:30.200 It's so true. And I just wish for everyone, for 596 00:31:30.500 --> 00:31:35.890 everyone to realize that like, we have the capacity to 597 00:31:35.930 --> 00:31:39.750 change our lives internally from the inside out. And I 598 00:31:39.789 --> 00:31:42.170 wasn't taught that. Like most of us are not taught 599 00:31:42.250 --> 00:31:47.190 that like mind, body, soul connection. So, and that's, it 600 00:31:47.269 --> 00:31:50.630 should actually be a relief for people. Like yes, you 601 00:31:50.670 --> 00:31:55.240 might need therapy or certain external things to help support you. 602 00:31:55.299 --> 00:31:59.059 God knows I needed a lot of that, right? But really, 603 00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:05.400 you have everything you need inside of you to shift 604 00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:09.650 your life one step at a time. You just have 605 00:32:09.690 --> 00:32:13.130 to garner the patience and know that there is a 606 00:32:13.170 --> 00:32:17.630 delay effect too. I'm just now reaping the benefits of 607 00:32:18.130 --> 00:32:23.940 getting sober because Sobriety for me is like so little 608 00:32:24.019 --> 00:32:26.160 about drugs and alcohol now. It's like I had to 609 00:32:26.220 --> 00:32:28.789 remove the things that were keeping me from facing myself. 610 00:32:29.829 --> 00:32:33.609 And I'm in year... I'm like a little over four 611 00:32:33.630 --> 00:32:36.890 and a half years sober. And the first year was amazing. 612 00:32:37.890 --> 00:32:40.670 It was like easy breezy. I was living on a 613 00:32:40.690 --> 00:32:45.920 pink cloud. And then things started coming up because everything 614 00:32:45.960 --> 00:32:49.779 I'd

been repressing was coming up. But really me... taking 615 00:32:49.799 --> 00:32:52.400 a long, hard look in the mirror, looking at my 616 00:32:52.440 --> 00:32:54.640 life and saying, who do I want to be? What 617 00:32:54.700 --> 00:32:56.880 kind of person do I want to be? I owe 618 00:32:56.900 --> 00:32:59.900 that to myself. I owe that to myself to be 619 00:32:59.940 --> 00:33:02.740 that person and to choose that every day, no matter 620 00:33:02.759 --> 00:33:05.539 what it looks like. And I have. And it's the 621 00:33:05.559 --> 00:33:08.039 thing I'm most proud of myself for. And when I 622 00:33:08.119 --> 00:33:12.440 meet anyone who has also gone through something like this, 623 00:33:12.529 --> 00:33:15.250 like I listened to your Hayden interview and I was 624 00:33:15.390 --> 00:33:20.130 so moved by because although our circumstances were a little different, 625 00:33:20.150 --> 00:33:23.390 it's a hard life path. But we all have that. 626 00:33:23.470 --> 00:33:28.190 Even if you're not getting sober, like changing yourself, leaving 627 00:33:28.250 --> 00:33:32.289 a toxic relationship, letting go of a pattern that's blocking you, 628 00:33:32.309 --> 00:33:36.930 that shit is painful. It is so painful. And no 629 00:33:36.990 --> 00:33:40.750 one prepares you for it. And yet we all go 630 00:33:40.789 --> 00:33:43.049 through it. And I think because of what I've been through, 631 00:33:43.069 --> 00:33:47.490 I just kind of I feel like I'm a little 632 00:33:47.549 --> 00:33:50.789 more forgiving towards people now because. 633 00:33:52.069 --> 00:33:52.529 Who knows? 634 00:33:52.890 --> 00:33:55.509 Who knows what's going on with someone behind closed doors? 635 00:33:55.529 --> 00:33:57.359 Because I know for me, people did not know for 636 00:33:57.380 --> 00:34:01.099 a decade. Well, people close to me maybe a little bit, 637 00:34:01.180 --> 00:34:04.339 but publicly, no. People would look at my life and 638 00:34:04.359 --> 00:34:06.920 be like, wow, she's really got it all. And I did, 639 00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:09.380 but I wasn't happy. And I didn't feel like I 640 00:34:09.400 --> 00:34:13.659 deserved it. It's nice to now be in a place 641 00:34:13.699 --> 00:34:16.460 where I can receive things like that lovely intention you 642 00:34:16.500 --> 00:34:16.800 gave me. 643 00:34:16.820 --> 00:34:20.179 Yeah. It's such a, everything you're saying resonates so strongly 644 00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:24.320 because it's so funny how like having the thing doesn't 645 00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:27.800 mean you'd feel you deserve the thing. Like that idea 646 00:34:27.820 --> 00:34:30.300 is so hard to understand until you end up in 647 00:34:30.340 --> 00:34:33.500 that situation. Yeah. And then you go, oh, wow, it didn't, 648 00:34:33.719 --> 00:34:36.019 it didn't solve it. It didn't fix it. And it 649 00:34:36.059 --> 00:34:39.150 doesn't change anything. You've mentioned sobriety a few times. I 650 00:34:39.190 --> 00:34:41.389 wanted to ask you, how did that habit even develop? 651 00:34:41.630 --> 00:34:44.320 How did you even get into that position where alcohol, 652 00:34:44.340 --> 00:34:47.599 I've heard you say before, was the only thing that really. 653 00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:49.019 Quieted my mind, yeah. 654 00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:51.219 How did you get to that point that that was 655 00:34:51.260 --> 00:34:53.519 the only thing? And then on the other end, how 656 00:34:53.559 --> 00:34:55.940 did you go, I need help and I'm going to 657 00:34:56.039 --> 00:34:59.110 ask for it? Because I think a lot of people, 658 00:34:59.659 --> 00:35:02.610 and I actually, we're doing this other series right now 659 00:35:02.670 --> 00:35:06.150 for social media, And four out of six of the 660 00:35:06.190 --> 00:35:09.940 people I interviewed for it who have done things they 661 00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:13.639 regret were all done under the influence. And these are 662 00:35:13.880 --> 00:35:16.780 not people that are, you know, these are everyday people 663 00:35:16.820 --> 00:35:20.500 doing wonderful, normal things with their life, but they've all 664 00:35:20.539 --> 00:35:22.920 done something. And they were just, alcohol was at the 665 00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:26.070 center of some pain in their, some massive pain in 666 00:35:26.110 --> 00:35:28.210 their life. And so I wanted to ask you, how 667 00:35:28.230 --> 00:35:30.530 did you end up in that position? And then how 668 00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:33.340 did you have the courage to want help and then 669 00:35:33.500 --> 00:35:36.570 actually reach out? And how long did that distance take? 670 00:35:36.780 --> 00:35:40.110 I look back now and I'm like, oh, it's all 671 00:35:40.190 --> 00:35:42.610 so crystal clear that all the signs were there. I 672 00:35:43.570 --> 00:35:47.269 don't remember ever having like a normal drinking experience. Like 673 00:35:47.469 --> 00:35:52.610 I remember the way alcohol was presented in my hometown 674 00:35:52.690 --> 00:35:56.210 or with friends or even in society, like millennials just 675 00:35:56.269 --> 00:35:59.269 like to drink, you know? Like it's true. Like people 676 00:35:59.329 --> 00:36:03.480 are drinking less and less now. Especially millennial Brits. I 677 00:36:03.500 --> 00:36:05.800 was reminiscing on club days. I have a lot of 678 00:36:05.860 --> 00:36:10.119 good memories drinking, but I have equal or more devastating, 679 00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:15.460 dangerous memories. But I think I just always had what 680 00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:18.900 I call an allergy to it. I always wanted more. 681 00:36:18.920 --> 00:36:21.659 I was like, why would you just have one drink? 682 00:36:22.119 --> 00:36:24.590 I never understood why someone would drink a glass of 683 00:36:24.650 --> 00:36:26.769 wine for the taste of it. I hated the taste 684 00:36:26.809 --> 00:36:29.389 of it. I loved the feeling. I could never get 685 00:36:29.429 --> 00:36:33.980 enough

of the feeling of just being so at ease. 686 00:36:34.159 --> 00:36:37.400 And I felt like, I remember just like after a drink, 687 00:36:37.539 --> 00:36:40.550 it felt like my costume was coming off and Lucy 688 00:36:40.590 --> 00:36:42.710 could finally emerge and I could be free and I 689 00:36:42.730 --> 00:36:44.789 could be sexy and I could be funny and I could, 690 00:36:45.269 --> 00:36:48.590 because I am quite shy. Like I'm not the girl 691 00:36:48.610 --> 00:36:51.469 that's going to like go let loose and dance. That's 692 00:36:51.550 --> 00:36:55.699 never been my personality. Like I'm very reserved, but drinking 693 00:36:55.760 --> 00:36:59.550 I wasn't. I'd be dancing on a freaking cake. countertop, 694 00:36:59.590 --> 00:37:02.369 you know? I would do anything and it felt freeing. 695 00:37:02.869 --> 00:37:04.949 And I think I loved that feeling as a teenager. 696 00:37:05.090 --> 00:37:08.679 I liked being the life of the party. There was 697 00:37:08.739 --> 00:37:13.159 a very distinct shift for me one day. I was 698 00:37:13.179 --> 00:37:18.360 in a relationship with someone who also struggled and that's 699 00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:22.380 when the drinking the day after kind of started. And 700 00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:24.949 I was like, oh wow, this really eases my hangover, 701 00:37:25.010 --> 00:37:27.800 my anxieties. And so then It would be more of 702 00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:31.260 like a bender type situation. I was able to not 703 00:37:31.300 --> 00:37:34.739 drink during work, which meant when my time off would 704 00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:39.110 just be chaos. But it was still like in my 705 00:37:39.139 --> 00:37:42.869 early 20s, it was very fun. I didn't want to 706 00:37:42.929 --> 00:37:44.889 admit I had a problem, even though I was told 707 00:37:44.969 --> 00:37:49.489 by boyfriends, by family. My sweet mom was always like, 708 00:37:49.530 --> 00:37:52.800 I'm really worried about you. I would say there was 709 00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:57.269 a dark turn around like 23. where I was drinking 710 00:37:57.309 --> 00:38:01.610 to the point where I would black out. You know, 711 00:38:01.690 --> 00:38:04.860 if someone's never blacked out before or witnessed someone blacking out, 712 00:38:04.889 --> 00:38:08.699 it's very bizarre because I've been told I look normal, 713 00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:12.699 but my eyes just go like dark, but I'm acting normally. 714 00:38:12.739 --> 00:38:15.000 Like I didn't pass out or anything. So people wouldn't 715 00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:19.000 know I was heading downhill quick, but you know, I'd 716 00:38:19.039 --> 00:38:21.619 wake up and not remember anything. And that's obviously as 717 00:38:21.639 --> 00:38:24.329 terrifying as it sounds. And it got to a point 718 00:38:24.369 --> 00:38:29.809 where I was just drinking dangerous amounts, waking up in 719 00:38:29.849 --> 00:38:33.570 dangerous situations. And I remember I was in a hotel 720 00:38:33.630 --> 00:38:36.989 in Nashville. I've never told this story before. I don't think. 721 00:38:37.510 --> 00:38:39.130 And I was also doing music at the time. I 722 00:38:39.369 --> 00:38:42.989 was like season two of Pretty Little Liars. We were 723 00:38:43.010 --> 00:38:46.579 on hiatus. And I was recording my album, promoting my album, 724 00:38:47.500 --> 00:38:49.079 which music has always been so important to me. And 725 00:38:50.059 --> 00:38:52.760 I woke up out of a blackout in a hotel 726 00:38:52.820 --> 00:38:55.440 room and later it was like early in the morning 727 00:38:55.480 --> 00:38:58.619 and later that day I was gonna sing at the 728 00:38:58.659 --> 00:39:01.039 Grand Ole Opry which is a huge honor you have 729 00:39:01.059 --> 00:39:02.760 to be I don't know if you've been to the 730 00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:07.909 Opry in Nashville but it's like every country western sensation 731 00:39:07.989 --> 00:39:09.949 has sang there and like to you have to be 732 00:39:10.110 --> 00:39:12.989 asked there by like the Grand Ole Opry committee and 733 00:39:13.010 --> 00:39:15.690 I went to rehab instead that morning I said I 734 00:39:15.730 --> 00:39:19.489 called my manager and I said I'm really scared I 735 00:39:19.510 --> 00:39:21.130 don't want to stop drinking, but I know I have 736 00:39:21.150 --> 00:39:24.380 to stop drinking. This is 23. And she was like, okay. 737 00:39:24.550 --> 00:39:28.539 My manager flew out, took me to rehab. All was 738 00:39:28.579 --> 00:39:31.719 kept under wraps. I had to cancel my tour because 739 00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:34.659 of drinking um and which is why I've never really 740 00:39:34.699 --> 00:39:38.480 approached music again which also makes me emotional because I 741 00:39:40.269 --> 00:39:42.329 love music and I loved that time in my life 742 00:39:42.409 --> 00:39:47.199 but because the music coincided with my issues I It's 743 00:39:47.219 --> 00:39:50.900 taken me a long time to even look at photos 744 00:39:50.940 --> 00:39:53.320 of that time or listen to music from that time. 745 00:39:53.449 --> 00:39:58.909 And so I'm just now kind of okay even thinking 746 00:39:58.929 --> 00:40:01.389 about the idea of singing again. I will say one 747 00:40:01.409 --> 00:40:04.829 thing about me is I've always asked for help. I've 748 00:40:04.869 --> 00:40:07.289 always had the desire when I knew it got bad. 749 00:40:07.409 --> 00:40:11.730 I've always wanted to change. There was always a guiding light. 750 00:40:11.789 --> 00:40:16.130 There was always something where I knew... if I followed 751 00:40:16.150 --> 00:40:18.110 that feeling of getting help, I was going to be okay. 752 00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:20.719 It doesn't mean I've always like listened to it. I mean, 753 00:40:20.840 --> 00:40:24.280 relapse was such a big part of my journey. I'm 754 00:40:24.320 --> 00:40:30.579 talking 12 years, 13 years of struggling because people are like, 755 00:40:30.639 --> 00:40:32.309 how did you drink like that

and have the career 756 00:40:32.329 --> 00:40:33.610 you had? And I was like, well, I had like 757 00:40:33.710 --> 00:40:38.550 long periods of sobriety, months long. Went to rehab, did 758 00:40:38.590 --> 00:40:41.769 a lot of things. Nothing really stuck. I think probably 759 00:40:41.809 --> 00:40:45.849 because there were still lessons to learn. I wasn't ready. Ultimately, 760 00:40:46.210 --> 00:40:47.809 I knew when I got sober, I was going to 761 00:40:47.849 --> 00:40:53.050 have to do some unpacking. And how I've mentioned a 762 00:40:53.070 --> 00:40:55.630 few times, really taking a look at myself. And I 763 00:40:55.659 --> 00:41:01.519 knew that was going to be so painful. And I 764 00:41:01.539 --> 00:41:03.119 knew it was going to take time. And I knew 765 00:41:03.159 --> 00:41:08.019 my life was just going to look so different. And then, 766 00:41:08.099 --> 00:41:11.710 you know, flash forward to... 32 how old am i 767 00:41:11.750 --> 00:41:13.769 i'm trying to do math so i got i got 768 00:41:13.809 --> 00:41:16.750 sober at 32 yeah it was january 2nd 2022 so 769 00:41:16.789 --> 00:41:21.949 however old i was um i you know hit another 770 00:41:22.050 --> 00:41:25.760 just really low moment and this time i didn't necessarily 771 00:41:25.909 --> 00:41:29.320 ask for help but i knew and i've said this 772 00:41:29.360 --> 00:41:31.500 so many times publicly but like i knew that was 773 00:41:31.559 --> 00:41:35.320 my last my last chance i was like i think 774 00:41:35.639 --> 00:41:40.579 it's time to retire the drinking I think it's finally 775 00:41:40.619 --> 00:41:42.920 time and I'm ready. And I just never looked back, 776 00:41:43.699 --> 00:41:46.480 even when it's been hard. Like I've, I committed to 777 00:41:46.500 --> 00:41:49.449 the life I want to live. I committed to not 778 00:41:49.639 --> 00:41:51.909 becoming the woman I wanted to be. I think I've 779 00:41:51.929 --> 00:41:54.489 always been that woman. I think allowing myself to be her, 780 00:41:55.889 --> 00:41:58.090 reclaiming my power. I think I've always been a little 781 00:41:58.130 --> 00:42:02.710 afraid of being powerful. I think I've always tried to 782 00:42:02.869 --> 00:42:07.550 play small and keep quiet and repress and just like 783 00:42:07.570 --> 00:42:10.719 be a good girl. And I was like, I'm tired 784 00:42:10.739 --> 00:42:13.179 of that identity. I don't want to be that anymore. 785 00:42:13.550 --> 00:42:17.650 That served me for a long time. But I can 786 00:42:18.429 --> 00:42:22.829 set boundaries now. And I think I do inherently have 787 00:42:22.909 --> 00:42:26.150 a kindness and sensitivity. But I'm okay letting people down. 788 00:42:27.110 --> 00:42:30.199 I think a lot of the drinking was also trying 789 00:42:30.239 --> 00:42:33.860 to take care of other people's feelings. I think I 790 00:42:34.059 --> 00:42:37.300 would drink because I was so exhausted by not being myself. 791 00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:40.000 And so in a way, drinking let me be myself. 792 00:42:40.500 --> 00:42:43.340 It's weird as that sounds. Like it did allow me 793 00:42:43.420 --> 00:42:46.199 to be this like edgier version. And I now I've 794 00:42:46.239 --> 00:42:49.030 just had to like integrate that edgier version into everyday life. 795 00:42:49.449 --> 00:42:52.530 Like I can still, you're not gonna like, I'm sure 796 00:42:52.550 --> 00:42:56.050 you've done shadow work. Like you don't just say, okay, 797 00:42:56.090 --> 00:42:59.510 bye shadow self. See, it's been fun. Like that's not 798 00:42:59.530 --> 00:43:03.300 how it works. That person is me. That is a 799 00:43:03.400 --> 00:43:08.590 part of me. It's just finding ways to, release the 800 00:43:08.630 --> 00:43:12.110 hounds in a way that's not so detrimental to my 801 00:43:12.150 --> 00:43:13.929 life and my mental health and emotional health. 802 00:43:14.190 --> 00:43:18.909 It's almost how can you stop numbing that side and 803 00:43:19.190 --> 00:43:22.230 avoiding it and ignoring it and finding ways to do that. 804 00:43:22.750 --> 00:43:25.139 But like you said, the reason we do that, and 805 00:43:25.179 --> 00:43:29.210 I'm saying this compassionately and empathetically for anyone who's doing it, 806 00:43:29.900 --> 00:43:33.179 is because we're so scared to unpack what lies beneath. 807 00:43:34.090 --> 00:43:37.889 And so it's so natural to find ways of avoiding 808 00:43:37.949 --> 00:43:41.110 it and alcohol or drugs or whatever it may be. 809 00:43:41.130 --> 00:43:44.030 And people find their own version of it can fully 810 00:43:44.090 --> 00:43:47.469 do that. And then, like you said, you finally got 811 00:43:47.489 --> 00:43:53.250 to this point. If someone's struggling with becoming sober right now, 812 00:43:54.210 --> 00:43:55.409 what would you encourage them to do? 813 00:43:55.769 --> 00:43:59.510 I would say good for you for realizing and having 814 00:43:59.530 --> 00:44:03.059 that awareness is everything. There are so many people that 815 00:44:03.659 --> 00:44:07.219 cannot admit that it's a problem. And the second that 816 00:44:07.260 --> 00:44:09.460 you are saying, I want to be sober, I'm trying 817 00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:12.139 to be sober, like, hell yeah, you're already on the path. 818 00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:17.960 And that's amazing. I'm a very, I need to logically 819 00:44:18.059 --> 00:44:21.760 make things make sense. I'm a Gemini, so it's very Mercury. Like, 820 00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:24.019 I need to understand. So for me, a lot of 821 00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:27.519 my healing has come from understanding my patterns, my childhood, 822 00:44:27.940 --> 00:44:31.239 my relationship patterns. And that's helped me have grace for myself. 823 00:44:32.130 --> 00:44:36.389 So I think things like therapy, just talking, finding a 824 00:44:36.429 --> 00:44:40.570 community can be very helpful. I also like there is 825 00:44:40.650 --> 00:44:44.280 no right way. I think a lot of

people might 826 00:44:44.320 --> 00:44:47.179 tell you there's only one way. No, I've tried every 827 00:44:47.219 --> 00:44:50.619 way and I've found my way. I think I think 828 00:44:50.739 --> 00:44:54.360 also a lot of I know many sober people who 829 00:44:55.780 --> 00:44:57.739 never relapsed, got sober the first time and have been 830 00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:01.420 sober 20 years. Myself, I relapsed many, many, many, many, 831 00:45:01.480 --> 00:45:04.289 many times. So your journey is going to look different. 832 00:45:04.489 --> 00:45:08.429 If you fall down, that is so much more wisdom, 833 00:45:08.710 --> 00:45:14.389 so much more growth. Just keep going. Like just keep going. 834 00:45:14.679 --> 00:45:17.380 Choose yourself. Find your people. Now you're going to have 835 00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:20.340 to hold yourself accountable too. This is not always going 836 00:45:20.360 --> 00:45:22.480 to be easy work, but it is the most rewarding 837 00:45:22.539 --> 00:45:26.659 thing you can do. And I think that applies to 838 00:45:27.760 --> 00:45:31.099 more than just drugs and alcohol to anything. Like, choose yourself. 839 00:45:32.500 --> 00:45:34.820 Choose yourself. And not everyone's going to understand it. 840 00:45:34.989 --> 00:45:35.449 That's okay. 841 00:45:35.800 --> 00:45:39.250 Do it anyway. I feel so misunderstood by people all 842 00:45:39.269 --> 00:45:41.809 the time. But I know that I'm doing what's best 843 00:45:41.849 --> 00:45:44.590 for me. And when you live authentically, everything else will 844 00:45:44.610 --> 00:45:45.070 fall into place. 845 00:45:45.389 --> 00:45:47.050 I wonder, you mentioned you were dating at that time. 846 00:45:47.090 --> 00:45:49.969 What was it like dating when... It was chaotic. 847 00:45:50.030 --> 00:45:53.469 You know, I think when I... was living from a 848 00:45:53.530 --> 00:45:56.650 place of not really respecting myself. Like, of course, I 849 00:45:56.690 --> 00:45:59.239 attracted partners who were going to match that. Not that 850 00:45:59.260 --> 00:46:03.019 they ever disrespected me, but there has been a pattern of, 851 00:46:04.139 --> 00:46:09.360 in the past, choosing partners who were struggling or emotionally 852 00:46:09.380 --> 00:46:12.659 unavailable or someone I needed to, like, earn their love. 853 00:46:12.679 --> 00:46:17.780 I had many beautiful people come into my life and 854 00:46:17.880 --> 00:46:19.500 they came into my life for a reason. Like, I 855 00:46:19.539 --> 00:46:24.769 can see why I dated certain people and what that 856 00:46:25.309 --> 00:46:28.690 gave me like I also see life through like oh 857 00:46:28.710 --> 00:46:31.409 this is happening for me not to me I truly 858 00:46:31.449 --> 00:46:34.780 believe everything can be a lesson and sometimes the lesson 859 00:46:34.820 --> 00:46:38.800 is don't ever date someone like that again you know 860 00:46:39.159 --> 00:46:41.139 but I would say my dating life was I was 861 00:46:41.340

--> 00:46:45.480 always with someone in my 20s I was so afraid 862 00:46:45.519 --> 00:46:48.659 to be alone and I found a lot of self-worth 863 00:46:48.760 --> 00:46:52.510 from who I was dating Or the validation I was getting. 864 00:46:53.030 --> 00:46:55.889 Or how many people wanted to date me. And it's 865 00:46:55.929 --> 00:46:58.869 a false sense of security. And it would always leave 866 00:46:58.929 --> 00:47:04.280 me feeling empty. No regrets. But, yeah, I think I 867 00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:07.219 was also numbing out in that way as well. Maybe 868 00:47:07.239 --> 00:47:10.500 choosing people that weren't and didn't have my best interest 869 00:47:10.559 --> 00:47:14.860 at heart. But the good news is, like, when you 870 00:47:15.139 --> 00:47:19.079 shift internally... Ooh, you're going to attract. So like, it's 871 00:47:19.119 --> 00:47:22.320 so crazy that the type of experiences and people and 872 00:47:23.239 --> 00:47:25.679 things into my life now, it's just, you can't even compare. 873 00:47:25.699 --> 00:47:27.969 And it's incredible when you get to experience both sides. 874 00:47:28.010 --> 00:47:30.030 And I'm sure even hearing you say it, people who 875 00:47:30.050 --> 00:47:33.090 are listening and watching, like seeing just the energy shift 876 00:47:33.130 --> 00:47:35.289 and even how you said that and how you, how 877 00:47:35.309 --> 00:47:38.329 your face lit up and, you know, and it's wonderful 878 00:47:38.369 --> 00:47:41.869 to observe in someone where you go, wow, I can't 879 00:47:42.030 --> 00:47:47.579 imagine how dark that darkest day was. But it's so 880 00:47:47.619 --> 00:47:50.619 important for people to see people on the other side. 881 00:47:50.860 --> 00:47:52.769 Not that there isn't more to unpack. Not that there 882 00:47:52.829 --> 00:47:55.590 isn't more work to do. Not that there isn't more 883 00:47:55.650 --> 00:47:59.809 things to visit and revisit. But there is a movement 884 00:47:59.849 --> 00:48:01.150 in the cycle. Yeah. 885 00:48:01.289 --> 00:48:04.369 And just being patient with that. You deserve that. I 886 00:48:04.409 --> 00:48:07.090 deserved that. Everyone deserves that. Everyone deserves to live a 887 00:48:07.110 --> 00:48:09.090 life that they're really proud of. 888 00:48:09.530 --> 00:48:10.260 And it's possible. 889 00:48:10.360 --> 00:48:12.739 And it is possible. And it doesn't mean like you 890 00:48:12.760 --> 00:48:13.800 don't make mistakes. 891 00:48:13.860 --> 00:48:14.590 Like I. 892 00:48:15.219 --> 00:48:18.360 Every day I'm like, damn, I should have maybe handled 893 00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:21.820 that a little differently. Or, okay, like, because I can 894 00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:23.280 have a bit of a temper and I can be 895 00:48:23.300 --> 00:48:25.800 a little reactive. But I can laugh about things maybe 896 00:48:25.820 --> 00:48:26.760 a little bit more. 897 00:48:27.340 --> 00:48:31.210 What's angry Lucy like? That face. 898 00:48:31.369 --> 00:48:35.059 No, you know what? I feel like I... it really 899 00:48:35.099 --> 00:48:37.280 only happens to the people closest to me. And it's 900 00:48:37.320 --> 00:48:40.300 not like, I think it's just, I can be a 901 00:48:40.320 --> 00:48:43.320 little reactive and defensive sometimes, but I know that I'm 902 00:48:43.380 --> 00:48:47.010 only being reactive and defensive because it's hitting a nerve 903 00:48:47.309 --> 00:48:48.670 and it's something I need to take a look at. 904 00:48:48.849 --> 00:48:51.409 And I think a lot of my growth has come 905 00:48:51.449 --> 00:48:53.889 from being alone, I think. But now I'm in a 906 00:48:53.929 --> 00:48:58.110 place where I can grow in partnership. I can grow 907 00:48:58.289 --> 00:49:01.659 in friendship and in family because I can meet people 908 00:49:01.679 --> 00:49:07.150 at a more grounded level. And I think, you know, 909 00:49:07.190 --> 00:49:10.010 they always say like, you're not, you can't grow until 910 00:49:10.050 --> 00:49:12.429 you're whole. It's like, well, are we ever really whole? 911 00:49:12.449 --> 00:49:15.170 I think we're actually all maybe born whole. I think 912 00:49:15.190 --> 00:49:19.719 we're already whole. And I think um it is definitely 913 00:49:19.780 --> 00:49:22.500 possible to grow within partnership I think that's like a 914 00:49:22.539 --> 00:49:24.340 narrative where like you need to wait until and I'm 915 00:49:24.360 --> 00:49:27.300 like I actually disagree I think that that is maybe 916 00:49:27.320 --> 00:49:31.039 not necessarily true but once again everyone's different I personally 917 00:49:31.079 --> 00:49:35.280 needed a lot of time alone um and now the 918 00:49:35.320 --> 00:49:37.900 last year or so I've been ready. 919 00:49:38.519 --> 00:49:43.199 This episode is brought to you by Walden University. Balancing work, life, 920 00:49:43.260 --> 00:49:47.360 and big goals isn't easy. That's why Walden University helps 921 00:49:47.460 --> 00:49:51.519 working professionals get the W with tempo learning, so you 922 00:49:51.559 --> 00:49:54.199 can earn your degree at your own pace while gaining 923 00:49:54.260 --> 00:49:58.630 practical skills through real-life scenarios. You'll also learn from faculty 924 00:49:58.710 --> 00:50:03.510 with real-world experience and have support start to finish. Walden University, 925 00:50:03.969 --> 00:50:09.909 set a course for change. Ready to start? Visit waldenu.edu today. 926 00:50:10.670 --> 00:50:15.739 Certified to operate by Chev, Tempo Learning, available in select programs. 927 00:50:16.300 --> 00:50:19.659 The way I think about it is you can grow 928 00:50:19.719 --> 00:50:24.380 together or you can grow apart based on whether you're 929 00:50:24.400 --> 00:50:28.309 willing to grow and communicate where you're at. And I 930 00:50:28.389 --> 00:50:31.820 find that people who don't do the work before can 931 00:50:31.880 --> 00:50:35.199 bring in a lot into a relationship and push the

932 00:50:35.239 --> 00:50:39.519 other person away because they're not looking inward and then 933 00:50:39.559 --> 00:50:41.010 the other person doesn't know what's going on. 934 00:50:41.389 --> 00:50:44.610 It's true. You have to like find someone who's willing 935 00:50:45.170 --> 00:50:47.309 to grow with you. I've had to come to realize like, 936 00:50:47.389 --> 00:50:49.730 I'm not going to meet this perfect person who has 937 00:50:50.130 --> 00:50:53.530 my journal list of, it's like they might have some 938 00:50:53.570 --> 00:50:55.739 of them, but you have to decide, and you know 939 00:50:55.780 --> 00:50:58.579 this because you've been married a while, right? Like you 940 00:50:58.659 --> 00:51:02.150 find someone who's baggage you want to deal with and 941 00:51:02.170 --> 00:51:03.929 that you're going to help them carry and to know 942 00:51:03.969 --> 00:51:06.739 that like, oh, this might be challenging at times. And 943 00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:09.860 I think that's beautiful. I think that's what love is, 944 00:51:10.260 --> 00:51:12.780 is like seeing people for who they are and really 945 00:51:12.820 --> 00:51:15.320 just accepting them for who and how they are. 946 00:51:15.570 --> 00:51:19.610 I think about a relationship as two people driving to 947 00:51:19.630 --> 00:51:21.929 their friend's house or a party at night, but they're 948 00:51:21.949 --> 00:51:26.329 driving from different places. And One person's going to be 949 00:51:26.349 --> 00:51:28.349 there on time and they're calling up and saying, hey, 950 00:51:28.389 --> 00:51:29.530 I'm going to be there on time. And the other 951 00:51:29.570 --> 00:51:32.360 person saying, I'm going to be late, actually. I'm just 952 00:51:32.380 --> 00:51:34.800 finishing work. I haven't wrapped up yet. And the other 953 00:51:34.840 --> 00:51:36.579 person's like, well, do you want me to wait outside 954 00:51:36.639 --> 00:51:38.000 for you? Do you want me to go inside and 955 00:51:38.039 --> 00:51:39.719 mingle and hang? And they're like, well, will you please 956 00:51:39.780 --> 00:51:41.530 wait outside for me? OK, well, how long are you 957 00:51:41.550 --> 00:51:43.090 going to be? I'm going to be 20 minutes late. OK, 958 00:51:43.110 --> 00:51:45.969 I'll wait. I think I can wait 20 minutes. I'll 959 00:51:46.010 --> 00:51:47.849 get fine. I'll wait 20 minutes for you. And that's 960 00:51:47.869 --> 00:51:51.130 that communication part. Because you're not moving at the same pace. 961 00:51:51.369 --> 00:51:54.150 You're not growing at the same speed. You're both on 962 00:51:54.199 --> 00:51:58.539 different timelines, but you know why and what you're waiting for. 963 00:51:58.699 --> 00:52:01.900 It's also like communication styles because everyone has a different 964 00:52:01.920 --> 00:52:06.599 communication style. And I think for me, where I've really 965 00:52:06.619 --> 00:52:10.929 am learning to surrender and let go is like, learning 966 00:52:10.969 --> 00:52:13.190 that I can't it's not my job to control or 967 00:52:13.230 --> 00:52:15.639 change anyone else their point of view their work I 968 00:52:15.679 --> 00:52:18.519 can't make someone make a decision I can't save them 969 00:52:18.639 --> 00:52:20.800 I can't make them do the work that's all on 970 00:52:20.840 --> 00:52:22.960 them but I can choose who I want to be 971 00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:25.800 with I can choose who I want to spend my 972 00:52:25.840 --> 00:52:28.349 time with and I think there is a relief in 973 00:52:28.389 --> 00:52:32.510 that of like I'm not here to control people I'm 974 00:52:32.530 --> 00:52:36.650 not here to change anyone I'm here to navigate my 975 00:52:36.710 --> 00:52:39.760 own life and navigate my own reactions to whatever choices 976 00:52:40.300 --> 00:52:44.039 people are making towards me. So, and then when you're 977 00:52:44.059 --> 00:52:45.539 telling that story, I'm like, what kind of cars are 978 00:52:45.559 --> 00:52:46.940 you guys driving over to? 979 00:52:47.420 --> 00:52:50.760 Yeah, it's true. And that matters. That does matter. Yeah. Like, 980 00:52:50.800 --> 00:52:52.869 is your car all souped up and like ready? Is 981 00:52:52.909 --> 00:52:53.409 it comfortable? 982 00:52:53.590 --> 00:52:55.170 Did you stop to get in and out? Like, I 983 00:52:55.250 --> 00:52:56.010 need to know all the details. 984 00:52:56.030 --> 00:52:57.349 Does it have fuel in it? Or did you forget 985 00:52:57.369 --> 00:52:59.170 to fill up fuel? Exactly. Do you need to stop 986 00:52:59.190 --> 00:52:59.849 at the gas station? 987 00:53:00.010 --> 00:53:01.989 Right. Is it an Uber? Is it a Waymo? 988 00:53:02.269 --> 00:53:03.530 Is it a Waymo? That's hilarious. 989 00:53:03.570 --> 00:53:04.769 Have you seen those Waymo vans? 990 00:53:05.239 --> 00:53:06.000 They're scary. 991 00:53:06.019 --> 00:53:07.460 Are you sponsored by Waymo? No. Are you going to 992 00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:08.380 cut this part out? You might. 993 00:53:08.679 --> 00:53:10.789 No. Well, if they sponsor us, I'll use them. But 994 00:53:10.909 --> 00:53:12.889 I am so scared of sitting in a car. 995 00:53:13.190 --> 00:53:14.469 I'm too much of a control freak. 996 00:53:14.550 --> 00:53:16.170 No, I'm like, no. Literally, I can't sit in a 997 00:53:16.170 --> 00:53:16.949 car without a driver. 998 00:53:16.969 --> 00:53:19.210 They're going to have like Waymo planes probably too. 999 00:53:19.530 --> 00:53:22.360 That's scary. Imagine you go to the cockpit and there's 1000 00:53:22.389 --> 00:53:23.340 like no one there. 1001 00:53:23.420 --> 00:53:25.210 I'm... Quickly getting off the plane. Yeah. 1002 00:53:25.369 --> 00:53:27.110 Even though supposedly it's safer than us. 1003 00:53:27.449 --> 00:53:28.050 Honestly, yeah. 1004 00:53:28.090 --> 00:53:30.090 Yeah. Except when I get stuck behind a way where 1005 00:53:30.110 --> 00:53:32.590 I get really mad. I know. I'm just like, come on, dude. 1006 00:53:32.610 -->

00:53:32.949 I know. 1007 00:53:32.969 --> 00:53:34.809 You know the little robot carts? 1008 00:53:35.130 --> 00:53:36.070 Oh, they're so cute. 1009 00:53:36.219 --> 00:53:39.639 I am too sensitive towards them. Like I was eating. 1010 00:53:39.719 --> 00:53:41.440 We were out eating on the side of the street 1011 00:53:41.559 --> 00:53:44.210 and like over in Los Feliz. And there was one 1012 00:53:44.250 --> 00:53:46.449 coming down, but there was a palm that had fallen. 1013 00:53:46.469 --> 00:53:49.170 And so it kept going. And I was like, someone 1014 00:53:49.190 --> 00:53:49.980 help him. 1015 00:53:49.989 --> 00:53:53.309 I always reshift them. I know. In the right direction. 1016 00:53:53.530 --> 00:53:55.849 They've done a great job of making them adorable. I know. 1017 00:53:55.889 --> 00:53:58.650 I was like, I feel like there's a little, even 1018 00:53:58.670 --> 00:54:00.789 though I know there's not consciousness in it, I like, 1019 00:54:00.809 --> 00:54:03.269 it feels like there's a little soul in there. 1020 00:54:03.329 --> 00:54:06.030 I thought you were going to say there's a little 1021 00:54:06.050 --> 00:54:08.650 person trapped inside. There's a child. There's a small child. 1022 00:54:08.789 --> 00:54:10.829 No, I feel like there's a little bit of like. 1023 00:54:11.780 --> 00:54:13.000 life in them. It's so funny. 1024 00:54:13.280 --> 00:54:15.440 Lucy, this is perfect timing. We have a fun rapid 1025 00:54:15.480 --> 00:54:17.619 fire game for you that has been designed just for you. 1026 00:54:17.820 --> 00:54:19.380 Are there rules to this game or is it just 1027 00:54:19.420 --> 00:54:19.710 kind of? 1028 00:54:19.780 --> 00:54:21.320 No, this is to celebrate where you're at today. 1029 00:54:21.400 --> 00:54:21.679 Oh, okay. 1030 00:54:21.920 --> 00:54:23.280 And you just have to tell me the first thing 1031 00:54:23.320 --> 00:54:25.389 that comes to your mind. So what's the one thing 1032 00:54:25.429 --> 00:54:27.929 that mattered to you in your 20s that doesn't matter now? 1033 00:54:28.429 --> 00:54:32.349 I would say validation from others really mattered to me 1034 00:54:32.369 --> 00:54:35.630 in my 20s a lot. I've learned to let that go, 1035 00:54:35.949 --> 00:54:40.639 not fully, but a lot more as the woman I 1036 00:54:40.719 --> 00:54:41.030 am today. 1037 00:54:41.260 --> 00:54:43.860 What's a daily habit that's genuinely changed your life? 1038 00:54:44.219 --> 00:54:48.969 Morning time, like an hour of slow, intentional journaling or 1039 00:54:49.090 --> 00:54:52.309 walking with my dogs, just really setting the tone for 1040 00:54:52.329 --> 00:54:54.889 my day. I don't miss it, whether I'm here across 1041 00:54:54.929 --> 00:54:57.360 the ocean, like on a plane, like I always make 1042 00:54:57.380 --> 00:54:57.949 sure I have that time. 1043 00:54:58.360 --> 00:55:01.340 What's a relationship red flag that you used to allow 1044 00:55:01.400 --> 00:55:03.480 for that would be a deal breaker today? 1045 00:55:03.739 --> 00:55:06.559 Lack of communication or ignoring my texts. 1046 00:55:07.159 --> 00:55:07.980 You used to allow for that? 1047 00:55:08.469 --> 00:55:09.809 Oh, I used to allow for it and it would 1048 00:55:09.849 --> 00:55:11.630 make me think I just needed to like try harder. 1049 00:55:12.030 --> 00:55:16.469 But now I'm like, no. Communication is everything to me. 1050 00:55:16.650 --> 00:55:18.010 Consistent communication. 1051 00:55:18.349 --> 00:55:20.369 What's the best compliment someone could give you right now? 1052 00:55:20.670 --> 00:55:24.530 That they feel safe around me. I always love when 1053 00:55:24.550 --> 00:55:26.110 people are like, oh, I feel like I can share 1054 00:55:26.199 --> 00:55:29.440 things with you. I think that that always makes me 1055 00:55:29.480 --> 00:55:29.760 feel good. 1056 00:55:30.039 --> 00:55:31.400 I feel like you have that energy a lot. 1057 00:55:31.539 --> 00:55:34.900 I feel like sometimes people will, strangers will just like 1058 00:55:34.960 --> 00:55:37.349 tell me things. Yeah. And I love it. And sometimes 1059 00:55:37.389 --> 00:55:39.210 I'm like, oh, it's a little bizarre. But but then 1060 00:55:39.269 --> 00:55:41.730 I think, oh, they just need someone to talk to. 1061 00:55:41.809 --> 00:55:46.590 And like, I'm always happy to be that person for anyone. 1062 00:55:46.769 --> 00:55:47.750 Unless you're late for a flight. 1063 00:55:47.929 --> 00:55:49.590 Unless I'm late for a flight. Exactly. 1064 00:55:49.929 --> 00:55:51.760 I want to say, though, like and I like doing 1065 00:55:51.780 --> 00:55:55.440 this with people that I have met years back when, 1066 00:55:56.260 --> 00:55:57.820 you know, where we talked about when we met like 1067 00:55:58.239 --> 00:56:00.030 six years ago when I came to your home. You 1068 00:56:00.070 --> 00:56:01.699 were absolutely wonderful. You were very kind. 1069 00:56:01.719 --> 00:56:02.219 Thank you. 1070 00:56:02.320 --> 00:56:06.320 You were very gracious. We were both doing something work-based, 1071 00:56:06.400 --> 00:56:09.480 but I didn't feel awkward being in your home as 1072 00:56:09.519 --> 00:56:11.980 we had lights and cameras and all this stuff. And 1073 00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:14.980 I think that says a lot. It's like we didn't 1074 00:56:15.019 --> 00:56:17.219 know each other then. We'd both been brought in to 1075 00:56:17.260 --> 00:56:20.139 do this thing. And I just, yeah, I like to 1076 00:56:20.159 --> 00:56:21.260 remind people also that. 1077 00:56:21.340 --> 00:56:24.050 What's crazy just about me in general is externally, I 1078 00:56:24.070 --> 00:56:27.170 don't think people would ever have realized how hard I 1079 00:56:27.210 --> 00:56:31.909 was on myself or what I was- experiencing. Um, but 1080 00:56:31.949 --> 00:56:34.269 it's always nice to get the reminder that I've always 1081 00:56:34.289 --> 00:56:36.389 been me. I think the thing has always been there. 1082

00:56:36.550 --> 00:56:39.630 And I think that's true for most people. It's, it's 1083 00:56:39.769 --> 00:56:42.769 just goes back to the forgiving myself thing of like, okay, 1084 00:56:42.789 --> 00:56:44.449 let it go. You've always been okay. 1085 00:56:44.840 --> 00:56:46.590 And last thing, if we did get a pretty little 1086 00:56:46.610 --> 00:56:49.099 lies reunion, what would you want to talk about? What 1087 00:56:49.139 --> 00:56:50.019 would be on the agenda? 1088 00:56:50.099 --> 00:56:52.019 You know what I know people would want to talk about. 1089 00:56:52.059 --> 00:56:53.880 So I don't know if you've ever seen the show. 1090 00:56:54.000 --> 00:56:58.949 So my character was, um, she dated her teacher. And 1091 00:56:59.650 --> 00:57:03.510 that's been a little controversial, especially lately, because so much 1092 00:57:03.550 --> 00:57:06.050 has changed just with like the media we consume, the 1093 00:57:06.090 --> 00:57:08.659 TV shows we watch, the roles, the way they write 1094 00:57:08.679 --> 00:57:12.059 certain roles. But like this came out in 2010. So like, yeah, 1095 00:57:12.079 --> 00:57:13.800 of course she would date her teacher. That's what happened 1096 00:57:13.820 --> 00:57:15.219 in the book. So it should happen in the show. 1097 00:57:15.639 --> 00:57:17.860 So I'm sure if we had a reunion, people would 1098 00:57:17.900 --> 00:57:24.349 want to address that because it's been like Hollywood Reporter 1099 00:57:24.389 --> 00:57:28.369 did a piece on Pretty Little Liars and I noticed now, 1100 00:57:28.369 --> 00:57:32.369 16 years later, people have much more of an issue 1101 00:57:32.429 --> 00:57:35.010 with that relationship than they did then. Because when we 1102 00:57:35.030 --> 00:57:39.429 were kids on this show, kids, we were teenagers, people 1103 00:57:39.469 --> 00:57:42.559 loved that relationship because it was like forbidden, forbidden romance. 1104 00:57:42.619 --> 00:57:47.340 But it's just interesting how much we've evolved as humans 1105 00:57:47.420 --> 00:57:52.949 that we can now say, oh, maybe that wasn't necessarily 1106 00:57:52.989 --> 00:57:55.449 the best way to take that character you know i 1107 00:57:55.929 --> 00:57:57.849 i feel like that would be the first thing we'd 1108 00:57:57.889 --> 00:58:01.030 have to address on the show although i feel like 1109 00:58:01.050 --> 00:58:04.739 they'd still be married they ended up getting married um 1110 00:58:07.280 --> 00:58:08.579 oh i can't say that out loud i feel like 1111 00:58:08.599 --> 00:58:12.059 there was like maybe a rumor of something possibly happening 1112 00:58:12.139 --> 00:58:14.219 we'll see we'll see okay i would love to i 1113 00:58:14.239 --> 00:58:16.369 feel like i'm at a point now where i'd absolutely 1114 00:58:16.429 --> 00:58:18.889 like be so down. I think everyone else would be 1115 00:58:19.139 --> 00:58:19.449 as well. 1116 00:58:19.510 --> 00:58:21.210 Yeah. And the fact that you've all been bumping

into 1117 00:58:21.250 --> 00:58:21.630 each other. 1118 00:58:21.650 --> 00:58:22.010 I know. 1119 00:58:22.230 --> 00:58:24.929 And having some of these conversations. Yeah. It's nice. I 1120 00:58:24.969 --> 00:58:26.369 love that. I wanted to go back to something you 1121 00:58:26.389 --> 00:58:31.469 said at the start about this idea of being 37, 1122 00:58:31.809 --> 00:58:33.750 not being in the place you imagined, but being in 1123 00:58:33.829 --> 00:58:38.730 a wonderful place, but not doing some of those timeline 1124 00:58:38.789 --> 00:58:41.320 things of like, oh, I thought I'd be maybe in 1125 00:58:41.360 --> 00:58:43.860 a long-term relationship or with kids or married or whatever 1126 00:58:43.900 --> 00:58:47.059 those versions are of society. Like Is motherhood something you 1127 00:58:47.079 --> 00:58:48.820 still see for yourself? It is. 1128 00:58:49.360 --> 00:58:53.539 I have gone through so many iterations of that and 1129 00:58:53.579 --> 00:58:56.380 my idea of that. I, for much of my life, 1130 00:58:56.440 --> 00:58:59.230 did not want kids, but it was only because I 1131 00:58:59.309 --> 00:59:03.210 didn't think I would ever be okay enough to have kids. 1132 00:59:03.869 --> 00:59:06.469 Then my sister had kids and I was just like, wow, 1133 00:59:06.780 --> 00:59:08.840 and she's such a good mom my sister's such a 1134 00:59:08.860 --> 00:59:12.260 good mother and um many of my friends have kids 1135 00:59:13.260 --> 00:59:17.949 and um because maybe I'm later 30s it's like harder 1136 00:59:17.989 --> 00:59:20.329 for me to admit that I do want that publicly 1137 00:59:20.449 --> 00:59:23.250 only because people always have an opinion especially if you 1138 00:59:23.269 --> 00:59:27.530 were like oh you know like have you like everyone 1139 00:59:27.550 --> 00:59:29.610 wants to ask if I've frozen my eggs. That's always 1140 00:59:29.630 --> 00:59:32.349 like the first thing. And I have, and I think 1141 00:59:32.389 --> 00:59:35.250 that that is like a choice I have made just 1142 00:59:35.269 --> 00:59:38.150 for insurance. Cause I don't, who knows? Like I might 1143 00:59:38.170 --> 00:59:39.849 want to have kids in my forties. Like I think 1144 00:59:40.690 --> 00:59:44.230 everything we've as humans, medicine, everything has evolved so much 1145 00:59:44.329 --> 00:59:49.119 that it would perfectly be okay for me to have 1146 00:59:49.159 --> 00:59:51.300 a child way later in life. I don't, I just 1147 00:59:51.320 --> 00:59:54.679 don't know yet. Like I, I'm still so career focused and, 1148 00:59:55.090 --> 00:59:58.539 I have so many goals I want to achieve. And 1149 00:59:58.559 --> 01:00:02.780 I think I can absolutely achieve those with children. Without children, 1150 01:00:02.820 --> 01:00:06.980 I don't know. Life continues to surprise me. Life continues 1151 01:00:07.039 --> 01:00:11.340 to throw curveballs. My life can change on a weekly basis. 1152 01:00:11.360 --> 01:00:13.820 I'm sure you understand that. I could get a call 1153 01:00:13.960 --> 01:00:16.119 today and be like, you're going away for six months. 1154 01:00:16.219 --> 01:00:21.849 But I have come to realize that I have a mothering, 1155 01:00:22.050 --> 01:00:23.710 nurturing quality about me that. 1156 01:00:25.449 --> 01:00:28.119 I would love to explore when the time is right. 1157 01:00:28.440 --> 01:00:31.679 I see versions of my life where I do have kids. 1158 01:00:31.719 --> 01:00:34.820 I see versions of my life where I don't. I truly, like, 1159 01:00:35.380 --> 01:00:37.550 I don't know where life is taking me. But the 1160 01:00:37.570 --> 01:00:38.829 good news is I don't have to worry about it 1161 01:00:38.849 --> 01:00:40.690 because I'm always going to land where I'm supposed to be. 1162 01:00:41.190 --> 01:00:43.670 That feels like the only mindset that allows us to 1163 01:00:43.710 --> 01:00:45.909 survive life as well. Because you live in this gap 1164 01:00:45.949 --> 01:00:48.050 between expectation and reality. Yeah. 1165 01:00:48.500 --> 01:00:51.940 And you might miss, like, Something else. Something else. I mean, 1166 01:00:52.039 --> 01:00:53.719 I do always believe you're going to get to where 1167 01:00:53.739 --> 01:00:56.090 you're supposed to go, but you might detour a little bit. 1168 01:00:56.190 --> 01:00:58.150 So I'm just trying to go with the flow. 1169 01:00:58.170 --> 01:01:00.050 I always try to remind people that you'll get to 1170 01:01:00.070 --> 01:01:01.369 where you want in life, just not in the way 1171 01:01:01.409 --> 01:01:01.989 you imagine it. 1172 01:01:02.110 --> 01:01:02.750 Exactly. 1173 01:01:02.909 --> 01:01:05.550 And it's the imagination part that trips us up because 1174 01:01:05.570 --> 01:01:07.989 we're imagining this path and it should look like this. 1175 01:01:08.369 --> 01:01:10.510 But then this beautiful path that's opening up over here, 1176 01:01:10.530 --> 01:01:13.869 you just miss it because you're too lost in your imagination. Yeah. 1177 01:01:13.929 --> 01:01:19.650 And I feel like with manifestation and this beautiful movement 1178 01:01:19.670 --> 01:01:21.969 that's happening where people are like, oh, wow, we're so 1179 01:01:22.010 --> 01:01:25.730 powerful and I can create the life I want. For me, 1180 01:01:25.789 --> 01:01:29.289 at least, it's a fine line because sometimes I live 1181 01:01:29.329 --> 01:01:32.900 too much in the future and I'm too specific. And 1182 01:01:32.920 --> 01:01:36.159 it's like, well, maybe that's not the path that I'm 1183 01:01:36.179 --> 01:01:37.940 supposed to be on. So I think it's like it's 1184 01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:42.599 important to dream, to have goals, to have wants, you know. 1185 01:01:43.659 --> 01:01:45.630 But I think also, like you said, I think the 1186 01:01:45.670 --> 01:01:48.320 more present you are, with your feet on the ground, 1187 01:01:48.840 --> 01:01:51.119 you can see all the options and go, ding, that's 1188

01:01:51.159 --> 01:01:52.559 the one I'm going to run towards. And you just 1189 01:01:52.599 --> 01:01:54.820 have to like, can't be as distracted, I guess. 1190 01:01:55.219 --> 01:01:56.699 I wanted to ask you about something. I have a 1191 01:01:56.719 --> 01:01:59.840 lot of friends and also our audience who are in 1192 01:01:59.860 --> 01:02:02.570 the process of freezing the eggs or want to. How 1193 01:02:02.690 --> 01:02:05.190 hard is the process? And what do you have to 1194 01:02:05.230 --> 01:02:07.349 go through? Because I feel like as a man, I 1195 01:02:07.590 --> 01:02:11.010 know very little. I just hear it's tough, hard, difficult. 1196 01:02:11.650 --> 01:02:13.389 And then I have friends who are saying they want 1197 01:02:13.409 --> 01:02:14.849 to do it or about to do it or have 1198 01:02:14.889 --> 01:02:17.179 done it as well. Yeah. It's becoming more of a 1199 01:02:17.219 --> 01:02:19.780 conversation today that everyone, I hope, is trying to have. 1200 01:02:19.800 --> 01:02:22.000 And the reason I'm raising it is because I really 1201 01:02:22.039 --> 01:02:25.090 hope this helps normalize it for everyone out there who's 1202 01:02:25.409 --> 01:02:28.510 thinking about it and worried about it and helps them 1203 01:02:28.530 --> 01:02:31.190 have the conversation. What should people expect? Like, what does 1204 01:02:31.230 --> 01:02:31.690 it look like? 1205 01:02:31.989 --> 01:02:34.670 I haven't spoken about this. And I did it about 1206 01:02:35.130 --> 01:02:39.070 exactly a year ago, actually. And at the time, I 1207 01:02:39.230 --> 01:02:42.090 was not in a relationship. I did it all by myself, 1208 01:02:42.570 --> 01:02:43.730 like a big girl. And I. 1209 01:02:45.650 --> 01:02:47.289 But I really thought about it for a couple of years. 1210 01:02:47.610 --> 01:02:49.929 I didn't talk to many people about it only because 1211 01:02:49.949 --> 01:02:52.090 I only knew a few people who had gone through 1212 01:02:52.190 --> 01:02:56.659 their experience. And, you know, everyone has their own experience. 1213 01:02:56.719 --> 01:02:59.960 I'd heard great experiences. I'd heard really bad ones. And 1214 01:02:59.980 --> 01:03:03.679 I was like, you know what? I'm just going to 1215 01:03:03.719 --> 01:03:06.250 do the thing, go to my doctor, take the shots, 1216 01:03:07.010 --> 01:03:11.119 and just... Be prepared for anything. I will say it 1217 01:03:11.599 --> 01:03:13.820 was the most empowering thing in the world for me, 1218 01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:18.650 especially doing it alone. It made me realize, like, not 1219 01:03:18.690 --> 01:03:20.469 that I want to have kids alone, but I could 1220 01:03:20.510 --> 01:03:23.590 if I wanted. And it's beautiful to have options. And 1221 01:03:24.190 --> 01:03:26.130 I mean, the whole physical part of it was like 1222 01:03:26.269 --> 01:03:29.050 as expected. Like you are putting your body through a lot, 1223 01:03:29.150 --> 01:03:33.550 but just go. I was very easy on myself. I 1224 01:03:33.590 --> 01:03:37.460 had like plenty of time off. Uh, I knew myself though. 1225 01:03:37.500 --> 01:03:40.840 And I knew because my hormones were going to shift 1226 01:03:40.860 --> 01:03:42.460 so much as well. I was like, I feel like 1227 01:03:42.480 --> 01:03:44.599 I'm about to go on an emotional roller coaster. It 1228 01:03:44.739 --> 01:03:47.699 did bring up a lot for me, but it was 1229 01:03:47.739 --> 01:03:49.920 so beautiful. It was like things that I feel like 1230 01:03:49.980 --> 01:03:53.320 my soul was wanting to confront. Just like limiting beliefs 1231 01:03:53.380 --> 01:03:56.820 I had about myself, my life, my body. And it 1232 01:03:56.860 --> 01:03:58.780 was really liberating. I'm not going to lie. Like I 1233 01:03:58.800 --> 01:04:02.239 know people talk about the intensity of it and don't 1234 01:04:02.260 --> 01:04:06.360 get me wrong. It is like go in prepared. have support, 1235 01:04:06.469 --> 01:04:08.909 have people to talk to because it can be emotional. 1236 01:04:11.110 --> 01:04:14.590 But I felt I was really like along with sobriety, 1237 01:04:14.630 --> 01:04:17.750 that was one of the decisions I was most proud of. 1238 01:04:18.409 --> 01:04:21.170 But yeah, it did bring up a lot for me 1239 01:04:21.289 --> 01:04:27.110 of I'm getting older. Why am I not married? Why 1240 01:04:27.150 --> 01:04:30.840 don't I have kids? Am I lovable? Like all these, 1241 01:04:30.860 --> 01:04:34.300 like all these things that like weren't really me, but 1242 01:04:34.340 --> 01:04:36.840 had been kind of lingering in the background and needed 1243 01:04:36.880 --> 01:04:39.639 to be let go of because like all of that 1244 01:04:39.699 --> 01:04:42.650 is just not true. It's not my true nature. It's 1245 01:04:42.690 --> 01:04:45.570 not how I actually feel about myself. So yeah, if 1246 01:04:45.610 --> 01:04:49.789 you're thinking about doing it, like definitely like go in prepared, 1247 01:04:49.889 --> 01:04:53.730 but it's like the most empowering thing you can do. 1248 01:04:53.750 --> 01:04:54.869 I feel like so. 1249 01:04:55.559 --> 01:04:55.699 Yeah. 1250 01:04:55.719 --> 01:04:57.369 And we'll see. We'll see what comes of it. 1251 01:04:57.659 --> 01:04:59.789 Yeah. I mean, it's incredible that you were able to 1252 01:04:59.809 --> 01:05:02.349 go do it by yourself, like when you were single. 1253 01:05:02.389 --> 01:05:05.889 Yeah, it was pretty wild. Because you can also get 1254 01:05:05.909 --> 01:05:08.010 the choice to go into the clinic every day and 1255 01:05:08.050 --> 01:05:10.130 they give you the shots. And I'm so stubborn. I 1256 01:05:10.139 --> 01:05:12.059 was like, no, I'm going to watch YouTube videos on 1257 01:05:12.079 --> 01:05:14.199 how to do it myself. So I did it all myself. 1258 01:05:14.300 --> 01:05:15.840 I mean, I went in and checked every day and 1259 01:05:16.340 --> 01:05:18.619 all that. But yeah, I kind of felt like a badass. 1260

01:05:18.639 --> 01:05:19.119 I got my things. 1261 01:05:19.139 --> 01:05:24.170 Yeah. It was a wild experience. But what's crazy is 1262 01:05:24.210 --> 01:05:27.289 a month after that, I met the person I'm with now. 1263 01:05:27.309 --> 01:05:27.849 Oh, no way. 1264 01:05:27.869 --> 01:05:30.170 So it was almost like it opened up something in 1265 01:05:30.210 --> 01:05:32.690 me to allow a good person to come into my life. 1266 01:05:34.329 --> 01:05:36.429 The timing was weird. Maybe it was like two weeks after. 1267 01:05:36.449 --> 01:05:39.150 It was weird, but beautiful. 1268 01:05:39.469 --> 01:05:41.309 Tell me about that. How did you two meet? 1269 01:05:41.670 --> 01:05:45.760 I've always had this dream of running into someone on 1270 01:05:45.800 --> 01:05:48.300 the street, you know, whatever. but then I did the 1271 01:05:48.320 --> 01:05:50.670 whole dating online dating thing for a while. 1272 01:05:50.750 --> 01:05:53.670 And let's talk about online. Let's do it. Okay. 1273 01:05:53.690 --> 01:05:57.130 I was really hesitant to do it for a long time. 1274 01:05:57.150 --> 01:06:00.929 I did not meet my boyfriend through online dating, but 1275 01:06:01.269 --> 01:06:03.269 I went on many dates. He's going to love hearing this, 1276 01:06:03.449 --> 01:06:06.909 but like I went on many dates through online dating 1277 01:06:07.489 --> 01:06:10.550 and I had to really come to terms with like, 1278 01:06:10.710 --> 01:06:13.530 it's just, you can evolve with the times or you 1279 01:06:13.590 --> 01:06:17.300 can not evolve with the times. I was like, okay, well, realistically, 1280 01:06:17.360 --> 01:06:19.000 like I travel a lot. I run in the same 1281 01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:22.929 friend circles. I might meet someone through work, but odds 1282 01:06:23.010 --> 01:06:24.829 are I'll probably meet someone online. 1283 01:06:25.110 --> 01:06:25.469 And I did. 1284 01:06:25.489 --> 01:06:27.190 I met some great people and I think you can 1285 01:06:27.210 --> 01:06:28.909 meet good people. I think a lot of people want 1286 01:06:28.929 --> 01:06:32.750 to shame the online dating world, but like your person's 1287 01:06:32.769 --> 01:06:34.929 going to find you. Like I believe in soulmates. I 1288 01:06:34.969 --> 01:06:37.019 believe if you have a soul contract with someone, like 1289 01:06:37.559 --> 01:06:39.260 They'll find you at the grocery store or they'll find 1290 01:06:39.280 --> 01:06:41.440 you online. The universe will find a way for you 1291 01:06:41.460 --> 01:06:44.000 guys to meet. I met my boyfriend through, it was 1292 01:06:44.079 --> 01:06:45.510 a blind date, actually. 1293 01:06:45.800 --> 01:06:46.110 No way. 1294 01:06:46.119 --> 01:06:50.650 Friends set us up, which is never, I've never said 1295 01:06:50.690 --> 01:06:54.969 yes to anything like that. I feel, I don't know. 1296 01:06:55.150 --> 01:06:58.929 Dating in general just makes me so nervous. But we 1297 01:06:58.949 --> 01:07:02.309 met and it

was pretty clear early on that there 1298 01:07:02.349 --> 01:07:04.900 was something special there. but I will say it's the 1299 01:07:04.940 --> 01:07:06.840 first time in my life where it's been a very 1300 01:07:06.940 --> 01:07:10.760 slow burn. I feel like at different times in my life, 1301 01:07:11.599 --> 01:07:15.329 the different versions of myself, like I was like very 1302 01:07:15.369 --> 01:07:17.550 extreme about dating if they weren't in love with me. 1303 01:07:17.610 --> 01:07:21.130 And after the first date, like, why don't you, you know, 1304 01:07:21.150 --> 01:07:24.889 it's just so extreme. And the person I'm with is 1305 01:07:24.929 --> 01:07:28.239 just very, he's a Virgo. He's very stable. He's very consistent. 1306 01:07:28.260 --> 01:07:31.960 He's very grounded. He's, um, it's a good balance for 1307 01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:34.780 like my intense emotions. Like it really just balances me out. 1308 01:07:35.500 --> 01:07:38.400 It's been wonderful. He's, he's a wonderful human. I feel 1309 01:07:38.420 --> 01:07:43.090 very grateful to be learning with him, alongside him, everything 1310 01:07:43.289 --> 01:07:47.730 it brings up for me, like the challenges, the good times, 1311 01:07:47.869 --> 01:07:49.590 all of it. It's just, I would say it's the 1312 01:07:49.710 --> 01:07:54.099 first real healthy partnership I've ever been in. So talk 1313 01:07:54.119 --> 01:07:56.400 about late bloomer. Like I met him when I was 1314 01:07:56.400 --> 01:07:59.500 36 and I just think that's, not to take away 1315 01:07:59.519 --> 01:08:01.800 from any other person I've spent time with. I think 1316 01:08:03.000 --> 01:08:07.519 I've learned from everyone, but it feels good to be 1317 01:08:07.559 --> 01:08:10.980 in something that allows me to feel safe and like 1318 01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:11.659 I can be myself. 1319 01:08:12.179 --> 01:08:14.400 What do you feel is the difference between an unhealthy 1320 01:08:14.440 --> 01:08:16.079 relationship and a healthy relationship? 1321 01:08:16.260 --> 01:08:21.180 It's all about consistency, communication, being transparent with each other, 1322 01:08:21.979 --> 01:08:25.779 allowing space for someone to be themself, like not trying 1323 01:08:25.819 --> 01:08:29.880 to change someone. I think that is really tricky territory 1324 01:08:29.939 --> 01:08:33.239 when you're in something and you want someone to behave 1325 01:08:33.300 --> 01:08:36.760 or be a version of themselves that they're not. I've 1326 01:08:36.819 --> 01:08:40.359 tended to like find more codependent relationships as well where 1327 01:08:40.380 --> 01:08:44.539 I would kind of lose my identity within the relationship 1328 01:08:46.079 --> 01:08:50.699 and put their feelings above my own. And it's so 1329 01:08:50.760 --> 01:08:54.199 funny being in something now where I'm me. Like I 1330 01:08:54.239 --> 01:08:57.439 can still, it was like, oh, I can be Lucy 1331 01:08:57.739 --> 01:09:00.180 and also be in

love with someone and be in 1332 01:09:00.500 --> 01:09:04.960 a healthy partnership. Because I always thought love was self-sacrificing. 1333 01:09:05.439 --> 01:09:06.760 I thought it was like going to the ends of 1334 01:09:06.779 --> 01:09:09.510 the earth and, oh, they don't love me. Well, maybe 1335 01:09:09.529 --> 01:09:12.050 I should try harder, be more. If they didn't love me, 1336 01:09:12.090 --> 01:09:15.170 I felt less than. And that's like love addiction in 1337 01:09:15.210 --> 01:09:17.850 a way. And I've had, you know, many years of 1338 01:09:17.890 --> 01:09:22.250 therapy of trying to discover where those patterns came from. 1339 01:09:22.270 --> 01:09:26.359 It's so interesting just like finding you have to go 1340 01:09:26.399 --> 01:09:28.119 through trial and error. I think a lot of my 1341 01:09:28.159 --> 01:09:32.640 life has been trial and error, especially with dating. And 1342 01:09:32.659 --> 01:09:35.039 I think that comes with its own set of kind 1343 01:09:35.060 --> 01:09:38.739 of shame. I think maybe a lot of people can 1344 01:09:38.810 --> 01:09:41.930 relate to being of a certain age and still seeking 1345 01:09:42.010 --> 01:09:44.949 or searching. You know, I'm in a partnership now, but 1346 01:09:44.970 --> 01:09:47.689 like a lot of my 30s, I felt kind of 1347 01:09:47.750 --> 01:09:52.130 ashamed of being alone and being single. And the people 1348 01:09:52.170 --> 01:09:55.069 being like, well, why aren't you dating someone? You're so great. 1349 01:09:55.149 --> 01:09:58.720 And it's like, in my head, I'm thinking, but what 1350 01:09:58.760 --> 01:10:02.140 if I'm choosing to be alone? I think a part 1351 01:10:02.180 --> 01:10:04.739 of me did believe that. Am I great enough? But 1352 01:10:04.760 --> 01:10:06.279 I think there was also a time in my life 1353 01:10:06.319 --> 01:10:11.020 where I was like, I think it's perfectly okay to... 1354 01:10:12.289 --> 01:10:15.090 take as much time as you need until you're ready 1355 01:10:15.770 --> 01:10:19.529 or to have standards like it's tricky finding a good 1356 01:10:19.590 --> 01:10:23.760 match and like I wasn't willing to lower my standards 1357 01:10:23.819 --> 01:10:25.800 for a long time I think I also had to 1358 01:10:25.939 --> 01:10:28.939 open up and be allow myself to experience good love 1359 01:10:29.020 --> 01:10:32.039 but also knowing that like what I was seeking is 1360 01:10:32.079 --> 01:10:36.380 very unique and I truly was willing to wait as 1361 01:10:36.439 --> 01:10:40.500 long as possible like I wasn't just going to allow 1362 01:10:40.640 --> 01:10:44.949 anyone into the beautiful life I've created for myself. There's 1363 01:10:44.970 --> 01:10:46.750 a lot of people in LA I feel like that 1364 01:10:46.869 --> 01:10:50.029 are of my age and are single and no one 1365 01:10:50.069 --> 01:10:53.810 really talks about like the dark underbelly of that and 1366 01:10:53.850 --> 01:10:56.979 like what that probably brings

up for people. Just a 1367 01:10:57.020 --> 01:10:59.479 late bloomer in a lot of ways, but I wouldn't 1368 01:10:59.899 --> 01:11:01.279 have had it any other way. 1369 01:11:01.739 --> 01:11:05.399 I love that you found the vocabulary and language for 1370 01:11:05.420 --> 01:11:08.430 it that allows you to own it. Yeah. Because I 1371 01:11:08.449 --> 01:11:10.189 think that's what we're all looking for is a word 1372 01:11:10.210 --> 01:11:13.529 of who we are. Because the world has asked us 1373 01:11:13.569 --> 01:11:19.270 to define ourselves by husband, wife. Mother. Mother, daughter, sibling. 1374 01:11:20.109 --> 01:11:21.760 And then when you don't get to play some of 1375 01:11:21.800 --> 01:11:24.770 those roles at a certain age, you think your life's incomplete. 1376 01:11:25.479 --> 01:11:27.640 Not realizing that it was never about the role, it 1377 01:11:27.680 --> 01:11:30.619 was about the relationship. Because you could have the role 1378 01:11:30.680 --> 01:11:31.899 and be in the wrong relationship. 1379 01:11:32.119 --> 01:11:34.119 Or it's what you want to feel within one of 1380 01:11:34.159 --> 01:11:37.840 those roles. Because I often think about that. I'm like, okay, 1381 01:11:37.939 --> 01:11:41.479 who am I if I'm not an actor? It's very 1382 01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:42.979 hard for me to be like, who am I without 1383 01:11:43.020 --> 01:11:48.210 being an actress or a known public person. I struggle 1384 01:11:48.229 --> 01:11:51.390 with that sometimes where I'm like, what would be left 1385 01:11:51.430 --> 01:11:54.689 of me, kind of. But when you strip all those identities, like, 1386 01:11:55.170 --> 01:11:57.229 what actually are we? You know, it's like. 1387 01:11:57.550 --> 01:11:58.090 What would you say? 1388 01:11:59.050 --> 01:12:04.430 I would say I'm like source energy. Like, that's the... Like, light... 1389 01:12:05.109 --> 01:12:06.829 I think it's a frequency. I don't know if it's 1390 01:12:06.850 --> 01:12:11.630 like a thing or a title. I believe we all 1391 01:12:11.670 --> 01:12:15.529 have a unique frequency. I don't believe that goes away 1392 01:12:16.250 --> 01:12:19.350 when we're alive or when we die. I think it's constant. 1393 01:12:19.829 --> 01:12:22.909 But I think giving ourselves these labels helps us make 1394 01:12:22.949 --> 01:12:25.630 sense of the world. I think that's all we're ever 1395 01:12:25.670 --> 01:12:27.470 trying to do is make sense of why we're here. 1396 01:12:28.210 --> 01:12:30.909 I feel like I love these conversations. I love being 1397 01:12:30.930 --> 01:12:33.489 around people who are also asking those questions like, okay, 1398 01:12:34.369 --> 01:12:35.529 Who am I? Why am I here? 1399 01:12:36.069 --> 01:12:40.619 Yeah. I mean, you've said before that you see miracles 1400 01:12:40.680 --> 01:12:46.960 often in your life. Is there one particularly that holds 1401 01:12:46.979 --> 01:12:47.619 your attention? 1402 01:12:48.079 --> 01:12:51.890 I mean,

honestly, I mean, it's repetitive to the sobriety stuff, 1403 01:12:51.979 --> 01:12:55.109 but like that to me is a miracle. Not only 1404 01:12:55.189 --> 01:12:59.670 that I am still heart beating, you know, two feet 1405 01:12:59.710 --> 01:13:07.229 on the ground alive, but that I can see why 1406 01:13:07.310 --> 01:13:09.569 everything had to be that way. Like I look at 1407 01:13:09.909 --> 01:13:13.720 everything from the lens of, whoa, whether it's a child 1408 01:13:13.960 --> 01:13:18.859 or flowers, like I'm constantly amazed by animals, um, synchronicities 1409 01:13:18.920 --> 01:13:20.619 in my life where I'm like, oh, that could only 1410 01:13:20.680 --> 01:13:25.729 be orchestrated by something grander than me. I mean, I 1411 01:13:25.750 --> 01:13:31.770 definitely believe in like spirit guides, angels, and This might 1412 01:13:31.789 --> 01:13:34.109 be too woo-woo for certain people, but like there's a 1413 01:13:34.109 --> 01:13:37.270 couple of books I read. One's called Signs and it's 1414 01:13:37.310 --> 01:13:38.890 basically like creating a language. 1415 01:13:38.909 --> 01:13:40.689 Laura Lynn Jackson? Yes. Yeah, we've had her on the show. 1416 01:13:40.710 --> 01:13:41.649 Yes. Oh my God, you have? 1417 01:13:41.670 --> 01:13:42.550 Twice, yeah. Love her. 1418 01:13:42.949 --> 01:13:46.390 Just like creating a language with, I believe also your 1419 01:13:46.409 --> 01:13:51.010 higher self, but your team of light. And the first 1420 01:13:51.050 --> 01:13:54.449 time you experience that actually happening, you like gaslight yourself 1421 01:13:54.489 --> 01:13:56.050 into thinking it's not real. You're like, okay, well, let 1422 01:13:56.090 --> 01:13:59.310 me see it again. And then And it happens. And 1423 01:13:59.350 --> 01:14:02.170 it's not it's like it's not necessarily that there's more 1424 01:14:02.229 --> 01:14:04.630 of that thing, that number, that red car, you know, 1425 01:14:04.649 --> 01:14:08.630 that red car kind of experiment. It's that you're you 1426 01:14:08.649 --> 01:14:11.979 have now have awareness towards it. So I use signs 1427 01:14:12.079 --> 01:14:15.659 like I have numbers like animal signs where when I 1428 01:14:15.760 --> 01:14:18.319 see that, I know that the decision is a yes. 1429 01:14:18.479 --> 01:14:22.149 Follow that. And that is never leads me astray. If 1430 01:14:22.199 --> 01:14:24.659 I don't see it, I don't make the decision. And 1431 01:14:24.840 --> 01:14:26.859 it really is as simple as that. But I see 1432 01:14:26.920 --> 01:14:31.289 it unfold in real time. And sometimes I just play 1433 01:14:31.310 --> 01:14:33.069 a game with the universe where I'm like, show me 1434 01:14:33.109 --> 01:14:36.189 how good it can get. Show me something so magical 1435 01:14:36.229 --> 01:14:39.050 today that it'll blow my mind. And I'll run into 1436 01:14:39.109 --> 01:14:43.050 someone that I was thinking about, or I'll know something 1437 01:14:43.090 --> 01:14:44.890 about my mom that's going to happen. Just like, I 1438 01:14:45.500 --> 01:14:49.619 think you can get so aligned that you are receiving information. 1439 01:14:49.659 --> 01:14:52.220 And the trick is, listening to it. Cause I think 1440 01:14:52.239 --> 01:14:55.180 we're always being given those intuitive hits. We just don't 1441 01:14:55.199 --> 01:14:57.640 always listen to them. So yeah, I mean, life is 1442 01:14:57.680 --> 01:15:00.100 a fricking miracle. Like what in the world? Like I 1443 01:15:00.140 --> 01:15:02.579 was in Mexico for my birthday on a little vacation 1444 01:15:02.659 --> 01:15:07.279 and right now Jupiter and Venus are like perfectly aligned. 1445 01:15:08.279 --> 01:15:10.060 That to me blows my mind. I'm like, what do 1446 01:15:10.100 --> 01:15:14.689 you mean there's a solar system? Like I just, I 1447 01:15:14.710 --> 01:15:17.750 get very excited about life. 1448 01:15:17.869 --> 01:15:19.029 What does it mean when they're aligned? 1449 01:15:19.520 --> 01:15:21.779 So they're in the same sign right now. So Venus 1450 01:15:21.880 --> 01:15:25.180 and Cancer in Jupiter, or they're in Cancer right now. 1451 01:15:25.920 --> 01:15:29.829 Jupiter's actually moving into Leo. But Cancer is like, Venus 1452 01:15:29.909 --> 01:15:34.109 is the planet of how we show love, receive love. 1453 01:15:34.729 --> 01:15:36.930 My Venus is actually in Cancer. And Jupiter is all 1454 01:15:36.970 --> 01:15:40.899 about abundance, luck. And I would assume when they're aligned, 1455 01:15:41.359 --> 01:15:43.300 I need to know more about this, when they're in 1456 01:15:43.319 --> 01:15:47.560 the same sign of Cancer, like, there's love and abundance 1457 01:15:47.619 --> 01:15:49.199 with love and partnerships. 1458 01:15:50.199 --> 01:15:50.550 I don't know. 1459 01:15:50.729 --> 01:15:53.750 It just looked beautiful. My whole point is like, I 1460 01:15:53.829 --> 01:16:01.090 just am amazed by people, places, things. But it's taken 1461 01:16:01.130 --> 01:16:02.510 me a while to get there. I think I used 1462 01:16:02.529 --> 01:16:04.310 to be a little jaded by life maybe, but now 1463 01:16:04.350 --> 01:16:06.960 I'm like childlike wonder a lot of the time. 1464 01:16:07.180 --> 01:16:10.659 Lucy, thank you for showing up so abundantly and full 1465 01:16:10.699 --> 01:16:14.220 of love today as well. And as your truest self 1466 01:16:14.380 --> 01:16:17.359 and a self that you've become so accepting of and 1467 01:16:18.260 --> 01:16:21.119 could see how much you were processing so many emotions 1468 01:16:21.220 --> 01:16:26.270 and feelings that either were once troubling you or were 1469 01:16:26.359 --> 01:16:29.430 once tripping you up or even now still create so 1470 01:16:29.470 --> 01:16:31.869 many emotions within all of us. And so thank you 1471 01:16:31.909 --> 01:16:35.710 for being so authentic and real and could just, could 1472 01:16:35.750 --> 01:16:38.529 just see it through your face. Like it's

impossible to avoid. 1473 01:16:38.569 --> 01:16:40.609 And it's so gracious of you to be able to 1474 01:16:40.649 --> 01:16:43.890 do that in this space. So Really grateful. Thank you. Thanks. 1475 01:16:44.310 --> 01:16:46.260 Well, you allow the space for it. So thank you 1476 01:16:46.270 --> 01:16:51.819 for asking great questions and letting me be myself. It's 1477 01:16:51.840 --> 01:16:54.939 always good to show up and just talk about the 1478 01:16:54.979 --> 01:16:58.199 things that feel authentic to me. So very grateful. 1479 01:16:58.560 --> 01:17:00.810 We end every episode with a final five. These questions 1480 01:17:00.869 --> 01:17:02.909 have to be answered in one sentence maximum. 1481 01:17:02.930 --> 01:17:04.250 Oh my God, this is my nightmare. 1482 01:17:04.510 --> 01:17:07.989 So Lucy Hale, these are your final five. Question number one, 1483 01:17:08.130 --> 01:17:10.640 what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? 1484 01:17:10.960 --> 01:17:14.300 I would say the best piece of advice is... It's 1485 01:17:14.340 --> 01:17:16.640 kind of paraphrasing, but the answer is always within you. 1486 01:17:17.510 --> 01:17:21.909 And whatever that interpretation is for you, you have all 1487 01:17:21.930 --> 01:17:23.130 the answers you will ever need. 1488 01:17:23.390 --> 01:17:25.829 I actually fully agree with that. I think any good 1489 01:17:25.909 --> 01:17:28.970 wisdom or advice is encouraging you to listen to that. 1490 01:17:29.510 --> 01:17:31.329 And that's what it's taking you back to. And also. 1491 01:17:32.289 --> 01:17:34.090 the best advice is to not listen to advice. 1492 01:17:34.130 --> 01:17:37.850 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. And that's any good advice will 1493 01:17:37.890 --> 01:17:41.100 only lead you back to yourself. Second question, what is 1494 01:17:41.140 --> 01:17:42.819 the worst advice you've ever heard or received? 1495 01:17:43.079 --> 01:17:46.659 Received a lot of bad advice. I think probably something 1496 01:17:46.739 --> 01:17:51.770 along the lines of, especially with an acting, like give 1497 01:17:51.810 --> 01:17:53.930 them what they need. And this could be applied to anything. 1498 01:17:54.350 --> 01:17:57.590 Give people what they need. and sort of abandon yourself. 1499 01:17:58.369 --> 01:18:01.369 And I just obviously don't agree with that. Like never 1500 01:18:01.409 --> 01:18:02.369 change yourself for anyone. 1501 01:18:02.649 --> 01:18:04.569 Question number three, I want you to repeat after me 1502 01:18:04.609 --> 01:18:08.310 and complete the sentence. It's about overthinking. I think I 1503 01:18:08.350 --> 01:18:09.609 think too much about. 1504 01:18:09.979 --> 01:18:12.239 I think I think about what other people are thinking 1505 01:18:12.279 --> 01:18:14.920 about too much. And honestly, what other people think about 1506 01:18:14.960 --> 01:18:16.680 me or something is none of my business. 1507 01:18:17.199 --> 01:18:18.800 I think that's the truest

thing. I think we all 1508 01:18:18.840 --> 01:18:22.619 spend too much time thinking about what other people are thinking. 1509 01:18:22.699 --> 01:18:23.460 And they're not thinking that. 1510 01:18:23.479 --> 01:18:24.939 And we have no idea what they're thinking. 1511 01:18:25.119 --> 01:18:25.850 And it doesn't matter. 1512 01:18:26.279 --> 01:18:26.520 Yeah. 1513 01:18:27.159 --> 01:18:27.840 And it doesn't matter. 1514 01:18:27.859 --> 01:18:28.380 And you don't know. 1515 01:18:28.399 --> 01:18:30.720 Yeah. And you don't know. And we live our life 1516 01:18:31.220 --> 01:18:33.199 based off of narratives we've made up in our head 1517 01:18:33.319 --> 01:18:35.239 about someone that may or may not be true. 1518 01:18:35.649 --> 01:18:35.970 Wild. 1519 01:18:36.090 --> 01:18:36.350 Wild. 1520 01:18:38.090 --> 01:18:40.250 Question number four, define a good friend. 1521 01:18:40.949 --> 01:18:44.770 Someone who is not a yes person. Someone who is 1522 01:18:44.810 --> 01:18:47.270 going to tell you the truth, even if it risks 1523 01:18:47.569 --> 01:18:49.970 the friendship. I have so many people in my life 1524 01:18:50.699 --> 01:18:52.939 who have seen me through so many phases of who 1525 01:18:53.000 --> 01:18:56.199 I am. And a very select few who have said, 1526 01:18:56.380 --> 01:18:59.500 this is not okay. You need help. I love you. 1527 01:18:59.600 --> 01:19:01.819 I'm here. And a friend who will set boundaries. Like, 1528 01:19:01.899 --> 01:19:04.720 I respect a friend who set boundaries. And also, like, 1529 01:19:05.159 --> 01:19:10.659 I like friendships where there's no expectation. You can just 1530 01:19:10.699 --> 01:19:12.979 be yourself. You might not see each other for six months. 1531 01:19:13.960 --> 01:19:17.039 You don't have to respond to every text message. Like, easygoing. 1532 01:19:17.359 --> 01:19:19.420 Fifth and final question. We ask this to every guest 1533 01:19:19.439 --> 01:19:21.640 who's ever been on the show. If you could create 1534 01:19:21.779 --> 01:19:24.039 one law that everyone in the world had to follow, 1535 01:19:24.460 --> 01:19:24.939 what would it be? 1536 01:19:25.079 --> 01:19:26.020 Okay, I've thought about this so much. 1537 01:19:26.039 --> 01:19:26.479 Oh, I love it. 1538 01:19:26.600 --> 01:19:27.520 Okay, my bracelet's falling. 1539 01:19:27.539 --> 01:19:28.079 I'm so excited. 1540 01:19:28.100 --> 01:19:29.939 I have a few. I have a few. 1541 01:19:29.960 --> 01:19:30.819 Please, go for all of them. 1542 01:19:30.840 --> 01:19:32.060 I just, I think. 1543 01:19:32.140 --> 01:19:32.880 You can give us a few. 1544 01:19:33.180 --> 01:19:36.640 My main one, because I was really reflecting, is that 1545 01:19:37.079 --> 01:19:43.119 for an hour a day, each person, has to, without distraction, 1546 01:19:43.720 --> 01:19:47.050 love themselves, like focus on what they love about themselves 1547 01:19:47.770 --> 01:19:51.609 and like really just nurture who you are. I chose 1548 01:19:51.630 --> 01:19:54.109 that because, can you imagine if we all operated from 1549 01:19:54.170 --> 01:19:58.229 like that frequency of loving ourself? Wouldn't be that many problems. 1550 01:19:59.390 --> 01:20:02.449 I mean, maybe, maybe it would cause more problems. I 1551 01:20:02.489 --> 01:20:04.989 don't know, but I think just none of us spend 1552 01:20:05.029 --> 01:20:09.539 enough time like honoring who we are. Okay, another one 1553 01:20:09.579 --> 01:20:13.590 I have is, Before bed each night, everyone has to 1554 01:20:14.600 --> 01:20:18.729 hold themselves accountable for the things they've done good and 1555 01:20:18.789 --> 01:20:20.630 things they want to do differently, but not in a 1556 01:20:20.670 --> 01:20:24.590 shaming way. And more just like clean up your side 1557 01:20:24.609 --> 01:20:28.130 of the street. And then the third one is whenever 1558 01:20:28.170 --> 01:20:31.869 you're in an argument with someone, you have to swap 1559 01:20:31.909 --> 01:20:33.770 shoes with them and see it from their perspective. 1560 01:20:33.949 --> 01:20:34.609 Oh, that's good. 1561 01:20:34.689 --> 01:20:37.890 And I'm like, shit, because you know it would be 1562 01:20:37.949 --> 01:20:38.470 so different. 1563 01:20:38.750 --> 01:20:38.970 Yeah. 1564 01:20:39.229 --> 01:20:41.329 You know, I could be better about that for sure 1565 01:20:41.390 --> 01:20:44.430 of like, oh, wait, I need to pause a bit. 1566 01:20:45.229 --> 01:20:47.340 Lucille, thank you so much. I'm so grateful to you. 1567 01:20:47.350 --> 01:20:48.560 This was great. This was so much fun. 1568 01:20:48.600 --> 01:20:50.979 You're the best. Congrats on your big deal. 1569 01:20:51.239 --> 01:20:51.760 Oh, thank you. 1570 01:20:51.779 --> 01:20:54.739 You deserve it. Jay Shetty is the best, y'all.