Full Transcript for Reverse engineering 101: the mindset shift that will change your entire future with Roxie Nafousi | Future Self Series Ep.1

time 36 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:44.480 just because I was having a baby. That like wasn't 37 00:01:44.579 --> 00:01:47.069 even something that ever crossed my mind. But of course 38 00:01:47.109 --> 00:01:49.010 that means that we need to keep things going. And 39 00:01:49.129 --> 00:01:51.709 of course I also wanted to give myself a chance 40 00:01:51.750 --> 00:01:54.349 to spend time with my newborn too, which are precious 41 00:01:54.409 --> 00:01:57.090 moments that I will never get back. Anyone who is 42 00:01:57.129 --> 00:01:59.590 self-employed will know that this is a really tricky one 43 00:01:59.670 --> 00:02:03.230 for any self-employed mothers to navigate. And it's something I 44 00:02:03.269 --> 00:02:05.590 definitely want to discuss on the podcast in future too. 45 00:02:05.609 --> 00:02:07.930 And I feel like it's nowhere near talked about enough. 46 00:02:08.050 --> 00:02:10.090 But essentially a few months ago, we had a meeting 47 00:02:10.159 --> 00:02:13.400 with the ominous title Podcast Future Planning, and we really 48 00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:15.500 wanted to weigh up all of our options. So the 49 00:02:15.620 --> 00:02:19.180 options were... A, we could go quiet for six months. B, 50 00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:22.439 we could put together episode reruns and hope that nobody 51 00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:24.439 noticed or hope that everyone was very happy with it. 52 00:02:24.659 --> 00:02:26.539 Or C, we could obviously have my husband take over 53 00:02:26.590 --> 00:02:27.849 given he's the one who knocked me up in the 54 00:02:27.889 --> 00:02:30.229 first place. We had a lot of discussions around this 55 00:02:30.330 --> 00:02:33.150 and our main aim was to be able to keep 56 00:02:33.210 --> 00:02:35.229 providing value. And that was the headline that we came 57 00:02:35.270 --> 00:02:38.050 to with everything. How do we keep being able to 58 00:02:38.289 --> 00:02:41.789 maintain and provide value in the way that you expect 59 00:02:41.870 --> 00:02:44.650 from this podcast and the way that hopefully this podcast 60 00:02:44.669 --> 00:02:47.229 has become like part of your routine over that entire 61 00:02:47.270 --> 00:02:50.960 time whilst also being able to give me the time 62 00:02:51.189 --> 00:02:54.580 to spend with my newborn in a way that I 63 00:02:54.919 --> 00:02:57.219 deserve to be able to have? So all that to 64 00:02:57.259 --> 00:02:59.979 say that this episode is the first part of a 65 00:02:59.979 --> 00:03:03.180 12-part series. One that is going to be completely free 66 00:03:03.340 --> 00:03:06.419 and has been designed and produced and thought through to 67 00:03:06.979 --> 00:03:10.590 every single extent to help you reverse engineer. 68 00:03:10.210 --> 00:03:11.090 The life you want. 69 00:03:11.509 --> 00:03:13.330 So I think something that I keep coming back to 70 00:03:13.409 --> 00:03:15.930 again and again is that one of the main reasons 71 00:03:16.180 --> 00:03:18.759 I've got to this place

right here in my life 72 00:03:19.060 --> 00:03:21.439 is because I feel like I've spent a lot of 73 00:03:21.479 --> 00:03:25.340 the last decade kind of designing my life backwards reverse 74 00:03:25.419 --> 00:03:27.990 engineering exactly where I want to get to when we 75 00:03:28.009 --> 00:03:31.650 talk about goal setting or manifestation or any of these 76 00:03:31.689 --> 00:03:33.849 different things all of that comes from a point of 77 00:03:33.889 --> 00:03:35.889 what do I want my life to look like and 78 00:03:35.969 --> 00:03:38.439 how can I work back from this point and that 79 00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:40.599 kind of became the light bulb moment for this series 80 00:03:40.740 --> 00:03:42.639 when we were looking at designing every part of this 81 00:03:42.680 --> 00:03:44.620 series we kind of went back into the data and 82 00:03:45.099 --> 00:03:47.439 we were looking back at the most popular episodes. So 83 00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:49.590 like what your favorites have been, what our DMs have 84 00:03:49.610 --> 00:03:51.729 been full of. And we came to the conclusion that 85 00:03:51.770 --> 00:03:56.020 we wanted to create a genuinely useful, free, almost course 86 00:03:56.099 --> 00:03:59.340 type series based on the topics you love, all designed 87 00:03:59.379 --> 00:04:03.560 around the concept of reverse engineering your ideal life. So 88 00:04:03.750 --> 00:04:05.620 in order to do this, while I'm gone, I'm gonna 89 00:04:05.659 --> 00:04:08.400 be passing the mic to some incredible experts who are 90 00:04:08.419 --> 00:04:11.219 gonna take you through episodes we've worked really, really hard 91 00:04:11.240 --> 00:04:14.520 to pull together. This has been planned so meticulously. These 92 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:19.050 are people whose concepts and, value and knowledge I absolutely 93 00:04:19.089 --> 00:04:25.870 love and who've genuinely shaped how I think about mindset, identity, money, health, relationships, 94 00:04:25.949 --> 00:04:28.490 social media. They are all at the top in their fields. 95 00:04:28.709 --> 00:04:31.920 I've handpicked every single one of them because I didn't 96 00:04:31.949 --> 00:04:35.199 feel comfortable kind of sharing this mic with just anyone. 97 00:04:35.279 --> 00:04:37.160 All of them have been invited into the office to 98 00:04:37.180 --> 00:04:40.879 basically break down their own version of formulas they've used 99 00:04:40.899 --> 00:04:44.050 to design specific parts of their own lives across their 100 00:04:44.230 --> 00:04:48.709 expert topic. It has come together so well and of 101 00:04:48.769 --> 00:04:51.189 course if you know me you will know that there 102 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:53.240 has to be a specific structure to all of this 103 00:04:53.259 --> 00:04:55.319 so you know exactly what you're going to get over the. 104 00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:56.060 Next 12 weeks. 105 00:04:56.199 --> 00:04:58.819 I am so excited This has taken so long to 106 00:04:58.860 --> 00:05:00.860 plan and it has come together so well. This first 107 00:05:00.899 --> 00:05:03.160 episode is the start of part one, the first of 108 00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:05.420 three parts. And I'm going to put the plan on 109 00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:08.199 screen here for you. Essentially, part one is going to 110 00:05:08.259 --> 00:05:11.250 help you figure out what your plan actually looks like. 111 00:05:11.329 --> 00:05:13.889 So what that end goal life looks like and what 112 00:05:13.910 --> 00:05:16.589 the plan is to actually get there. Then part two 113 00:05:16.670 --> 00:05:19.069 is going to look at how you can actually execute 114 00:05:19.110 --> 00:05:21.699 that plan effectively. So how you're going to stick to it. 115 00:05:21.990 --> 00:05:24.490 how you're gonna use habit theory, how you're gonna put 116 00:05:24.509 --> 00:05:28.540 this into your everyday, like real practical strategy in terms 117 00:05:28.600 --> 00:05:30.500 of being able to not just have like an amazing 118 00:05:30.540 --> 00:05:33.399 vision board and never actually get there. And then finally, 119 00:05:33.420 --> 00:05:36.339 part three is gonna look at how you can perfect 120 00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:39.079 the systems around you to help your plan run as 121 00:05:39.160 --> 00:05:42.500 smoothly as possible and maintain not just over the next 122 00:05:42.560 --> 00:05:46.139 few months, but over the next year, three years, five years, 123 00:05:46.139 --> 00:05:50.230 10 years, so that you have a very, very direct 124 00:05:50.329 --> 00:05:53.509 and accurate plan as to how you are going to 125 00:05:53.550 --> 00:05:56.100 build the exact life you want. It is a complete, 126 00:05:56.500 --> 00:05:59.819 well thought through plan on every single topic that you 127 00:05:59.860 --> 00:06:01.660 are gonna need to think about in order to be 128 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:04.569 able to build that life. So for this first episode, 129 00:06:04.589 --> 00:06:07.310 there's genuinely no one I would rather open the entire 130 00:06:07.370 --> 00:06:09.970 series with than the woman I am about to introduce 131 00:06:09.990 --> 00:06:11.970 to you. Today, I'm gonna be passing the mic over 132 00:06:12.029 --> 00:06:15.949 to one of your all-time favorite guests, Roxy Nafusi. Roxy 133 00:06:16.029 --> 00:06:18.639 is the author of Manifest, a Sunday Times bestseller, which 134 00:06:18.680 --> 00:06:21.319 became an absolute phenomenon and has sold over a million 135 00:06:21.360 --> 00:06:25.689 copies in 37 languages. She's an award-winning mindset coach and 136 00:06:25.730 --> 00:06:28.029 also known for speaking on stages all over the world 137 00:06:28.069 --> 00:06:31.269 about exactly this. But what I personally find most impressive 138 00:06:31.430 --> 00:06:34.110 is that she's taken something that used to feel a 139 00:06:34.170 --> 00:06:35.410 little bit distant from me. 140 00:06:35.529 --> 00:06:36.709 It used to feel a little. 141 00:06:36.529

--> 00:06:39.430 Bit too maybe woo-woo or spiritual in a way that 142 00:06:39.470 --> 00:06:43.120 I wasn't. And she's made it into something that makes 143 00:06:43.339 --> 00:06:45.949 so much sense. In this episode, she's gonna be kind 144 00:06:45.990 --> 00:06:49.050 of unpacking that mindset shift that has to happen before 145 00:06:49.230 --> 00:06:51.589 any of the planning stuff actually works. And I think 146 00:06:51.610 --> 00:06:54.050 that is so important because I think it's really easy 147 00:06:54.110 --> 00:06:56.540 to sit down every single year, maybe multiple times a 148 00:06:56.569 --> 00:07:00.110 year and plan your future. And that's great, but actually 149 00:07:00.149 --> 00:07:03.490 if you haven't done the underlying work, you're probably not 150 00:07:03.509 --> 00:07:05.829 gonna actually get there. You're not in the right place 151 00:07:05.889 --> 00:07:08.089 yet to be able to make the big changes in 152 00:07:08.129 --> 00:07:09.970 your life, or they're not gonna stick. So we're gonna 153 00:07:09.990 --> 00:07:13.350 be talking about manifestation theory, the specific mindset traps that 154 00:07:13.389 --> 00:07:16.740 high achieving women particularly fall into, and the identity beliefs 155 00:07:16.779 --> 00:07:19.379 that your best future self holds. If part of you 156 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:22.420 doesn't quite believe your ideal life is possible right now, 157 00:07:22.740 --> 00:07:25.819 I want you to leave this episode feeling motivated, convinced, 158 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:29.759 and genuinely deserving of every single bit of it. Roxy's 159 00:07:29.800 --> 00:07:31.639 also given me an exercise for you and her top 160 00:07:31.699 --> 00:07:34.620 reading recommendations for this week's working hard newsletter so that 161 00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:36.470 will be sent out the day after the episode is 162 00:07:36.509 --> 00:07:38.970 released so make sure you are subscribed if you want 163 00:07:38.990 --> 00:07:40.970 to put everything in this episode into action. 164 00:07:41.089 --> 00:07:41.629 As I said I. 165 00:07:41.629 --> 00:07:44.430 Wanted it to almost feel like a free course and 166 00:07:44.889 --> 00:07:46.310 that means that there is work for you to do 167 00:07:46.370 --> 00:07:47.910 like it's all well and good you're listening to this 168 00:07:47.949 --> 00:07:50.069 episode on your commute if you want to actually get 169 00:07:50.170 --> 00:07:52.449 the results then you've got to do the work so 170 00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:54.300 I'm I will add the link to the newsletter in 171 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.279 the description. I cannot wait for you to hear all 172 00:07:56.300 --> 00:07:58.279 of these episodes. I will be back at the beginning 173 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:00.519 of them all to introduce the wonderful experts and to 174 00:08:00.579 --> 00:08:02.220 set up what we're actually going to be talking about. 175 00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:03.899 Because as I said, all of this has

been worked 176 00:08:03.939 --> 00:08:07.319 through in detail. So it's absolutely perfect for this podcast 177 00:08:07.459 --> 00:08:09.769 and our audience. But for now, I'm going to hand 178 00:08:09.790 --> 00:08:10.529 it over to Roxy. 179 00:08:11.930 --> 00:08:12.870 Hey, everyone. 180 00:08:13.050 --> 00:08:13.910 It's Roxy. 181 00:08:13.930 --> 00:08:17.589 Firstly, thank you so much, Grace, for that lovely introduction. 182 00:08:17.790 --> 00:08:21.240 I am so honoured and genuinely so excited to be here. 183 00:08:21.319 --> 00:08:23.199 When Grace called me to ask if I wanted to 184 00:08:23.240 --> 00:08:26.160 be a teacher in this series, I obviously couldn't accept 185 00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:28.579 the invitation quickly enough. As some of you might know, 186 00:08:28.689 --> 00:08:30.569 I've been a guest on the podcast a couple of 187 00:08:30.629 --> 00:08:34.470 times already and I've absolutely loved it both times. I 188 00:08:35.129 --> 00:08:38.769 really adore the community that Grace has created and I 189 00:08:39.029 --> 00:08:42.429 am in awe of everything she's achieved. I'm such a 190 00:08:42.950 --> 00:08:46.309 a huge fan of hers. So when I was asked 191 00:08:46.450 --> 00:08:48.809 to not only be in this series, but to kick 192 00:08:48.889 --> 00:08:53.669 it off, I was unbelievably honored. It's such a huge compliment. 193 00:08:53.750 --> 00:08:55.970 When Grace explained the concept to me, she told me 194 00:08:55.990 --> 00:08:58.370 that it was all about designing a life for your 195 00:08:58.429 --> 00:09:01.389 future self. And that felt like a perfect fit for 196 00:09:01.429 --> 00:09:04.500 me because all of my work is centered around helping 197 00:09:04.529 --> 00:09:08.179 people consciously create a life that feels fulfilling to them. 198 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:10.879 And it's about becoming the best versions of them that 199 00:09:10.919 --> 00:09:13.840 they can be. Learning how to master the practice of 200 00:09:14.019 --> 00:09:18.690 manifestation through my unique seven-step method has transformed my own 201 00:09:18.769 --> 00:09:23.909 life in literally every way imaginable. It's helped me become 202 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:29.080 the most peaceful and fulfilled and content version of myself. 203 00:09:29.590 --> 00:09:32.710 And I'm so passionate about sharing it because I know 204 00:09:32.769 --> 00:09:35.610 that it can absolutely do the same for you. So 205 00:09:35.629 --> 00:09:38.769 I'm thrilled to be sharing as much of that knowledge 206 00:09:38.809 --> 00:09:41.730 as I can over the next 25 minutes as your first. 207 00:09:41.470 --> 00:09:44.070 Teacher for this very exciting new series. 208 00:09:44.789 --> 00:09:46.799 And if you want to learn more and go deeper 209 00:09:47.019 --> 00:09:50.500 after today, you can explore my manifest books. They are 210 00:09:50.539 --> 00:09:54.840 designed to make manifestation simple, accessible, and genuinely applicable to 211 00:09:54.860 --> 00:09:58.929 your everyday life. And they're also available on audiobooks read 212 00:09:59.090 --> 00:10:01.620 by me. So today we're going to start with module one, 213 00:10:01.740 --> 00:10:05.460 which is all about outlining your future self plan. Now, 214 00:10:05.539 --> 00:10:08.159 when I'm coaching, so many of my clients come to 215 00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:10.000 me and they say that they're really unhappy with their 216 00:10:10.039 --> 00:10:13.279 current situation and they know they want something to change 217 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:16.649 in their life. but they have no idea where to begin. 218 00:10:16.970 --> 00:10:19.340 And I'm sure there are many of you listening to 219 00:10:19.379 --> 00:10:22.120 this or watching this now who feel exactly the same. 220 00:10:22.179 --> 00:10:25.399 You want change, but you don't know in what way. 221 00:10:25.559 --> 00:10:29.279 And often what that's coming from is this not knowing 222 00:10:29.399 --> 00:10:31.580 what you want your ideal future. 223 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:32.539 Life to look like. 224 00:10:32.740 --> 00:10:35.320 And so if this is you, then I want you 225 00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:37.450 to rest assured that by the end of this episode, 226 00:10:37.539 --> 00:10:40.490 you're gonna come away with a much deeper understanding of 227 00:10:40.549 --> 00:10:44.070 what a fulfilled life looks like to you. I also 228 00:10:44.090 --> 00:10:46.889 want you to feel really excited and really ready to 229 00:10:46.970 --> 00:10:49.490 adopt a mindset shift that's going to help you basically 230 00:10:49.570 --> 00:10:52.669 reverse engineer the life you want to create. This episode 231 00:10:52.730 --> 00:10:55.490 is going to lay the foundation for everything that follows 232 00:10:55.850 --> 00:10:59.169 because all meaningful change begins with the way that we think. 233 00:10:59.429 --> 00:11:02.639 Our minds really are one of the most powerful tools 234 00:11:02.779 --> 00:11:05.779 that we have. So grab your notebook, your planner or 235 00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:08.529 your notes app, whatever you need to follow along. And 236 00:11:08.549 --> 00:11:10.529 I want you to write things down because there are 237 00:11:10.549 --> 00:11:13.399 going to be exercises that you'll definitely want to return to. 238 00:11:13.700 --> 00:11:17.860 Let's start with what reverse engineering actually means. So many 239 00:11:17.899 --> 00:11:20.700 people move through life just sort of coasting along and 240 00:11:20.759 --> 00:11:23.730 hoping for the best. Perhaps they set a few vague 241 00:11:23.779 --> 00:11:27.850 New Year's resolutions that are never really properly committed to. 242 00:11:27.929 --> 00:11:30.570 But if you've watched my previous episodes with Grace, you 243 00:11:30.590 --> 00:11:32.870 might remember something that I've said before, which is that 244 00:11:33.330 --> 00:11:36.889 human beings are built to work We want to have 245 00:11:36.950 -->

00:11:40.789 that forward momentum. And I'm a really strong believer that 246 00:11:40.830 --> 00:11:44.700 having meaningful goals gives us a sense of direction, purpose, 247 00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:47.500 and I'll come back to that word again, fulfillment. Now, 248 00:11:47.559 --> 00:11:49.840 for those of you who already set goals, and I'm 249 00:11:49.879 --> 00:11:52.000 sure that is a lot of you listening because I 250 00:11:52.070 --> 00:11:54.870 know that Grace talks about it a lot and rightly so. 251 00:11:55.570 --> 00:11:57.990 We tend to plan our lives by looking forward. 252 00:11:58.070 --> 00:11:59.269 So we look at where we. 253 00:11:59.269 --> 00:12:02.289 Are today and then ask ourselves, what do we want next? 254 00:12:02.590 --> 00:12:05.220 And that might be the next job title. It might 255 00:12:05.250 --> 00:12:08.320 be a new home, a creative goal, or even the 256 00:12:08.379 --> 00:12:12.299 next romantic relationship milestone. And that is obviously a really 257 00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:15.139 great starting point. Where do I want to go next? 258 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:17.980 But reverse engineering takes it. 259 00:12:17.919 --> 00:12:18.779 A step further. 260 00:12:19.159 --> 00:12:22.240 So instead of beginning with where you are today and 261 00:12:22.360 --> 00:12:26.620 working forward, You actually begin with your future self and 262 00:12:26.679 --> 00:12:30.019 work backwards. You get crystal clear on the person you 263 00:12:30.090 --> 00:12:32.409 want to become and the life you want to be 264 00:12:32.470 --> 00:12:35.690 living in five years or 10 years from now. And 265 00:12:35.750 --> 00:12:38.710 then you trace the path all the way back to today. 266 00:12:38.950 --> 00:12:42.289 And at that point, you ask yourself, what would that 267 00:12:42.409 --> 00:12:46.730 version of me have needed to do this year, this month, 268 00:12:47.149 --> 00:12:49.500 and this week? Now, I know some of you might 269 00:12:49.539 --> 00:12:53.480 be thinking, isn't this basically just manifesting with a fancier title? 270 00:12:53.980 --> 00:12:58.490 And I suppose yes, because manifesting begins with getting clear 271 00:12:58.610 --> 00:13:01.789 on your vision. And actually something I should mention now 272 00:13:02.070 --> 00:13:04.929 is that when I talk about manifestation, I think it's 273 00:13:04.970 --> 00:13:07.350 really easy for people to think that it's all about 274 00:13:07.389 --> 00:13:11.909 manifesting things into your life. But actually the most important 275 00:13:11.990 --> 00:13:14.950 question of manifestation is not what can I have, but 276 00:13:15.129 --> 00:13:19.539 who can I become? So getting really aligned with the 277 00:13:19.820 --> 00:13:23.879 person you want to become is so important. Once you 278 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:27.320 do that, you can then align your mindset and your 279 00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:31.590 actions with that vision. So reverse engineering essentially gives you

280 00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:35.350 this really practical route for doing that. It allows you 281 00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:38.590 to see the bigger picture and then identify what steps 282 00:13:38.610 --> 00:13:41.490 you'll take to get there. Now, Grace would never let 283 00:13:41.529 --> 00:13:45.110 me onto the series without receipts. So let's quickly talk 284 00:13:45.149 --> 00:13:48.269 about why this works on a scientific level, because there 285 00:13:48.330 --> 00:13:51.789 is some really fascinating research behind it. The first concept 286 00:13:51.860 --> 00:13:54.399 I want to introduce you to is called the future 287 00:13:54.620 --> 00:14:00.200 self continuity. Psychologist Hal Hirschfield at UCLA has spent years 288 00:14:00.299 --> 00:14:03.279 studying the way that we relate to our future self. 289 00:14:03.860 --> 00:14:06.299 And his findings actually changed the whole way that I 290 00:14:06.360 --> 00:14:10.340 think about manifestation. In one area of his research, brain 291 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:14.480 imaging suggested that when some people thought about their future selves, 292 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:18.990 the patterns of activity resembled the way their brains responded 293 00:14:19.070 --> 00:14:22.269 when thinking about another person. So what this means is 294 00:14:22.289 --> 00:14:25.919 that your future self can feel so distant that your 295 00:14:25.960 --> 00:14:28.740 brain almost treats them like a stranger. And when you 296 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.899 think about it, why would you save money or train 297 00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:35.460 for a marathon or complete the boring groundwork required to 298 00:14:35.500 --> 00:14:38.809 build a business for someone you barely feel connected to? 299 00:14:39.149 --> 00:14:43.250 We can deprioritize our future selves because we haven't yet 300 00:14:43.370 --> 00:14:46.389 built a meaningful relationship with them. But don't panic. That 301 00:14:46.429 --> 00:14:48.929 doesn't mean that your future self isn't important. In fact, 302 00:14:48.990 --> 00:14:53.240 his research also found that when people are helped to 303 00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:56.500 feel more connected to their future selves, their present day 304 00:14:56.559 --> 00:15:00.899 decisions can change. Now in one study, participants were shown 305 00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:05.539 digitally aged images of themselves and this increased their willingness 306 00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:08.899 to allocate more money towards their future. I think that 307 00:15:08.950 --> 00:15:13.529 is actually an incredible finding. So the more real and 308 00:15:13.669 --> 00:15:17.590 detailed your future self becomes in your mind, the easier 309 00:15:17.669 --> 00:15:22.009 it becomes for your present self to act in their interests. 310 00:15:22.330 --> 00:15:24.169 And that is why the work we're gonna do today 311 00:15:24.269 --> 00:15:27.899 is so important. because you're essentially beginning to close the 312 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:31.039 gap between who you are now and the version of 313 00:15:31.080 --> 00:15:33.899 yourself that you're building towards so that your future self 314 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:37.600 doesn't feel vague, abstract, or disconnected from the choices that 315 00:15:37.659 --> 00:15:40.139 you are making today. Now there's a second piece of 316 00:15:40.179 --> 00:15:42.879 research I love, which looks at the direction in which 317 00:15:43.000 --> 00:15:47.970 we plan. A 2017 study comparing forward and backward planning 318 00:15:48.090 --> 00:15:53.899 found that backward planning, reverse engineering, could increase motivation, reduce 319 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:58.620 feelings of time pressure, and improve performance, particularly when people 320 00:15:58.659 --> 00:16:02.129 were working towards more complex goals. And the detail that 321 00:16:02.210 --> 00:16:05.129 I find most fascinating about this is that the bigger 322 00:16:05.429 --> 00:16:08.950 and more complicated the dream, the more helpful it can 323 00:16:09.029 --> 00:16:12.759 be to plan it in reverse. So working backwards helps 324 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:13.580 you see. 325 00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:15.519 What is required at each stage. 326 00:16:15.779 --> 00:16:20.309 It turns one really enormous, intimidating ambition into a series 327 00:16:20.409 --> 00:16:24.009 of much clearer steps so that your dreams begin to 328 00:16:24.049 --> 00:16:27.070 feel less like fantasy and more like something you could 329 00:16:27.450 --> 00:16:32.230 actively build. Okay, so now you know why reverse engineering works, 330 00:16:32.370 --> 00:16:36.059 let's actually do it. Step one is all about meeting. 331 00:16:35.659 --> 00:16:36.919 Your future self. 332 00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:39.500 Okay, what I want you to do is choose a 333 00:16:39.639 --> 00:16:42.200 point in the future that you would like to work 334 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:46.629 towards throughout this series. So some people like to choose 335 00:16:46.649 --> 00:16:49.289 a five-year or a 10-year horizon. 336 00:16:49.470 --> 00:16:51.070 It's up to you whatever. 337 00:16:50.710 --> 00:16:53.279 Feels best, and one is not better than the other. 338 00:16:53.399 --> 00:16:56.000 But for others, it might even feel more useful to 339 00:16:56.039 --> 00:16:59.139 choose a specific life chapter, such as if you've got 340 00:16:59.159 --> 00:17:02.360 a major birthday or a career transition, the launch of 341 00:17:02.379 --> 00:17:06.190 a business, or whatever other meaningful milestone that you have. 342 00:17:06.589 --> 00:17:09.390 There's no perfect timeframe. You just want to choose one 343 00:17:09.430 --> 00:17:12.869 that feels far enough away to allow you to think expansively, 344 00:17:12.990 --> 00:17:15.529 but close enough that you can still imagine yourself there. 345 00:17:15.869 --> 00:17:19.519 For me personally, I really love a one-year timeline, and 346 00:17:19.559 --> 00:17:21.680

that's what I base most of my own vision boards 347 00:17:21.880 --> 00:17:24.420 on or future self-planning. So I want you to close 348 00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:26.460 your eyes if you can, and if it's safe to 349 00:17:26.500 --> 00:17:29.559 do so, and I want you to take yourself forward 350 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:32.920 to the point in time you have chosen. Begin by 351 00:17:33.079 --> 00:17:37.809 thinking about the most confident, fulfilled, and happy version of 352 00:17:37.849 --> 00:17:41.599 yourself that there can be. You might even imagine yourself 353 00:17:41.819 --> 00:17:44.740 walking through a full day in your future life. Think 354 00:17:44.759 --> 00:17:47.390 for a second about where you wake up. 355 00:17:47.569 --> 00:17:48.410 How do you feel? 356 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:55.049 Imagine yourself waking up full of vitality, energy, excitement, motivation. 357 00:17:55.190 --> 00:17:58.049 What does your morning look like as the future you? 358 00:17:58.369 --> 00:18:01.319 What are you working on? Who are you surrounded by? 359 00:18:01.339 --> 00:18:05.240 How do you carry yourself into a room? What habits 360 00:18:05.299 --> 00:18:06.680 have you created. 361 00:18:06.279 --> 00:18:10.160 And committed to? What boundaries do you maintain? What do 362 00:18:10.180 --> 00:18:11.440 you make time for? 363 00:18:11.819 --> 00:18:13.339 How do you speak to yourself? 364 00:18:13.660 --> 00:18:16.460 How does it feel to be you? Now, those are 365 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:18.599 a lot of questions that I've just asked you to 366 00:18:18.660 --> 00:18:20.960 think of there, and you don't have to think of 367 00:18:21.019 --> 00:18:24.180 them all at once, but try to paint this full 368 00:18:24.259 --> 00:18:28.839 picture of your future self as part of a small visualization. 369 00:18:29.119 --> 00:18:32.430 One important note here is that if you don't know 370 00:18:32.490 --> 00:18:34.690 yet what you want your future life to look like, 371 00:18:34.769 --> 00:18:37.490 just begin with how you want your future self to feel. 372 00:18:37.990 --> 00:18:40.490 I said just now that you could imagine yourself waking 373 00:18:40.589 --> 00:18:43.609 up with vitality and excitement. You could always also just 374 00:18:43.670 --> 00:18:46.279 think about how you want to feel in your relationships, 375 00:18:46.339 --> 00:18:48.579 how you want to feel when you're at work. You know, 376 00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:50.259 for me, when I'm at work, I want to feel 377 00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:53.539 challenged in the right way. You might not know exactly 378 00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:55.799 where you want to live or what job you want 379 00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:58.849 to have or what you want your life to look like, 380 00:18:59.009 --> 00:19:02.589 but perhaps you do know that you want to feel peaceful. 381 00:19:02.930 --> 00:19:05.230 You want to feel free. You want to feel like 382 00:19:05.269 --> 00:19:08.200 there's adventure in your life. You

want to feel connected 383 00:19:08.259 --> 00:19:11.839 to your community. You want to feel like you have purpose, 384 00:19:12.180 --> 00:19:15.660 that you have financial security or freedom. So start with 385 00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:19.680 the feeling and then let the details grow from there. Now, 386 00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:22.880 when you're thinking about these questions, of which, as I said, 387 00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:24.619 there are quite a few, so I will include them 388 00:19:24.660 --> 00:19:26.740 in the show notes just so you can come back 389 00:19:26.779 --> 00:19:29.640 to them, either just to deepen your visualization or you 390 00:19:29.660 --> 00:19:31.430 might even want to do it as an extra journaling 391 00:19:31.490 --> 00:19:35.039 exercise for yourself afterwards. But when you are thinking about them, 392 00:19:35.079 --> 00:19:37.839 I want you to be as specific as you can, 393 00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:41.140 specific to the point where it almost feels indulgent. This 394 00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:42.819 is what I really want you to take from this 395 00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:46.009 is that I want you to give yourself permission to 396 00:19:46.130 --> 00:19:51.329 imagine beyond what currently feels realistic or formative. Because something 397 00:19:51.369 --> 00:19:54.069 that I, that almost saddens me, I would say, is 398 00:19:54.130 --> 00:19:55.990 that when people come to me and they say, you know, 399 00:19:56.009 --> 00:19:59.380 I want to start a manifesting journey. What I recognize 400 00:19:59.460 --> 00:20:02.440 is that they don't even allow themselves to dream about 401 00:20:02.539 --> 00:20:05.660 or think about what they want because they're currently being 402 00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:09.880 limited by their own insecurities, doubts, or fears. So what 403 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:11.960 I really want you to do is set all of 404 00:20:12.019 --> 00:20:15.200 those worries aside. And I want you to just allow 405 00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:18.940 yourself to at least imagine what you desire. This is 406 00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:22.789 not the moment to edit your desires according to what 407 00:20:22.849 --> 00:20:25.950 you already think you know that you can achieve. This 408 00:20:26.009 --> 00:20:30.009 is about really opening your mind to all the unlocked 409 00:20:30.069 --> 00:20:33.269 potential that you have. Now, some people really like making 410 00:20:33.309 --> 00:20:36.690 vision boards at this stage, but as you know, from 411 00:20:36.759 --> 00:20:39.200 my previous episode with Grace, if you've listened to it, 412 00:20:39.240 --> 00:20:41.720 I'm also a really big fan of just bullet points. 413 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:46.619 Beautiful images can be really great for inspiration and making 414 00:20:46.680 --> 00:20:49.460 things look pretty and having it as your phone screen saver. 415 00:20:49.619 --> 00:20:51.539 But I think this process is just as. 416 00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:55.160 Powerful with a pen

and paper. What's important really isn't 417 00:20:55.220 --> 00:20:58.279 how it looks. It's just that you are as specific 418 00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:00.500 as you can be about the goals that you want 419 00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:02.400 to reach and how you want to feel as your 420 00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:06.680 future self. Okay, step two is give yourself a self-worth 421 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:09.259 pep talk. Once you've answered all the questions, I want 422 00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:12.869 you to acknowledge something really important. It becomes much harder 423 00:21:12.970 --> 00:21:16.190 to create and sustain the life you want if underneath 424 00:21:16.230 --> 00:21:18.750 it all, you do not believe you are worthy of 425 00:21:18.809 --> 00:21:20.950 receiving it. If So many people don't believe that they 426 00:21:20.990 --> 00:21:23.470 truly deserve the goals that they're working towards. Even some 427 00:21:23.490 --> 00:21:25.029 of the most ambitious people that I know. What I 428 00:21:25.089 --> 00:21:27.849 want you to remember is that most children begin life with. 429 00:21:27.670 --> 00:21:29.119 An instinctive sense of possibility. 430 00:21:44.309 --> 00:21:48.130 We are born into this world full of confidence and self-worth. 431 00:21:48.210 --> 00:21:52.230 But somewhere along the way, many of us absorb beliefs 432 00:21:52.309 --> 00:21:55.190 about who we are, who we're supposed to be, how 433 00:21:55.250 --> 00:21:58.569 ambitious we're allowed to become, how visible we should be, 434 00:21:58.750 --> 00:22:01.809 how much happiness and success is acceptable to one. And 435 00:22:01.890 --> 00:22:06.690 those beliefs can come from our families, from experiences, culture, 436 00:22:06.819 --> 00:22:10.200 people around us, or just the disappointments that we've lived through. 437 00:22:10.259 --> 00:22:13.420 And over time, they can begin to feel like fact. 438 00:22:13.640 --> 00:22:17.799 And so we have unconsciously learned them, but we have 439 00:22:17.859 --> 00:22:21.819 to consciously unlearn them. Because the beliefs that you hold 440 00:22:21.880 --> 00:22:26.720 about yourself influence everything. They influence the opportunities you pursue, 441 00:22:26.940 --> 00:22:29.849 the risks you take, the boundaries you set, the way 442 00:22:29.900 --> 00:22:33.390 you respond to setbacks and what you allow yourself to receive. 443 00:22:33.779 --> 00:22:36.579 And so if you only actually took away one thing 444 00:22:36.599 --> 00:22:39.430 from this episode, then I think it should be this. 445 00:22:39.730 --> 00:22:44.450 Give yourself permission again and again to know that you 446 00:22:44.609 --> 00:22:48.250 are deserving of the life you are designing. Whatever it 447 00:22:48.410 --> 00:22:50.890 is you want, you deserve. 448 00:22:51.269 --> 00:22:51.819 To have it. 449 00:22:51.970 --> 00:22:54.460 You absolutely do. So I want you to choose an 450 00:22:54.519 --> 00:22:58.579 affirmation that speaks directly to the future you've just imagined. 451 00:22:58.680 --> 00:23:01.859 So it could be something like, I am worthy of 452 00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:06.089 the job that I desire. I am worthy of living 453 00:23:06.140 --> 00:23:09.599 in the home that I want to manifest. I'm capable 454 00:23:09.759 --> 00:23:12.019 of becoming the person I want to be. It is 455 00:23:12.180 --> 00:23:15.750 safe for me to grow, change and receive more. Or 456 00:23:15.910 --> 00:23:20.309 maybe it's simply I give myself permission to want this thing. 457 00:23:20.569 --> 00:23:23.029 You can write down your affirmation and then repeat it 458 00:23:23.049 --> 00:23:26.039 to yourself every morning. What you're doing when you do 459 00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:29.900 this practice is beginning to replace an old familiar belief 460 00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:32.700 with one that actually supports the person you're becoming. Now, 461 00:23:32.779 --> 00:23:35.380 if you want to turn practices like this into part 462 00:23:35.420 --> 00:23:38.789 of your daily routine, you can use the Manifest app, 463 00:23:38.829 --> 00:23:40.410 which I have just created. 464 00:23:40.430 --> 00:23:41.990 I'm so excited about it. 465 00:23:42.490 --> 00:23:46.900 It's got daily affirmations, guided visualization meditations. It's got like 466 00:23:46.940 --> 00:23:51.730 over 20 meditations on there. It's got gratitude, practice, journaling, 467 00:23:51.809 --> 00:23:55.650 habit tracking. So you can keep building this relationship with 468 00:23:55.710 --> 00:23:58.900 your future self long after today's episode. Now let's move 469 00:23:58.940 --> 00:24:02.380 on to step three, which is about reversing the timeline. 470 00:24:02.900 --> 00:24:05.740 So now we come to the actual engineering part. I 471 00:24:05.779 --> 00:24:09.119 want you to write a letter from your future self 472 00:24:09.380 --> 00:24:12.720 to your current self using the point in time that 473 00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:15.900 you chose a earlier. Now this is slightly different from 474 00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:18.450 the classic exercise of writing a letter to your future 475 00:24:18.490 --> 00:24:21.269 self because instead we're flipping it. You're going to imagine 476 00:24:21.289 --> 00:24:23.809 that you've already arrived at that point and you're looking 477 00:24:24.049 --> 00:24:26.650 back at the journey that brought you here. So write 478 00:24:26.690 --> 00:24:30.259 the letter as though this future life is now your reality. 479 00:24:30.380 --> 00:24:32.519 And there are three things that I want you to include. 480 00:24:32.599 --> 00:24:35.019 The first is what are you celebrating? 481 00:24:35.180 --> 00:24:37.700 What's happened? What have you created? 482 00:24:37.779 --> 00:24:38.880 What have you completed? 483 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:39.880 What's changed in. 484 00:24:39.859 --> 00:24:42.910 Your life or what have you experienced? And I want you, again, 485 00:24:42.930 --> 00:24:46.369 just to

be really specific. We really want to prime 486 00:24:46.390 --> 00:24:49.609 the subconscious parts of our brain to reach our goals. 487 00:24:49.670 --> 00:24:51.950 And the way that we do that is by regularly 488 00:24:52.049 --> 00:24:55.140 visually rehearsing what we want. So wherever we have an 489 00:24:55.160 --> 00:24:59.440 opportunity to write it down, do a visualization meditation, always 490 00:24:59.500 --> 00:25:02.039 be as specific as you can. The second thing I 491 00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:04.829 want you to include is what are you grateful that 492 00:25:04.849 --> 00:25:09.569 your current self started? So which decision or conversation or 493 00:25:09.690 --> 00:25:14.230 habit or boundary of risk or small action created the 494 00:25:14.289 --> 00:25:17.829 first shift? So you might say, I am living in 495 00:25:17.930 --> 00:25:21.980 my dream home. It's got this many bedrooms and this 496 00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:24.359 is the layout of the kitchen and this is the 497 00:25:24.519 --> 00:25:26.960 area that's in. You're very specific about it. And I'm 498 00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:33.589 so grateful. to me five years ago that decided to 499 00:25:33.990 --> 00:25:36.490 go for this new role so that I could finally 500 00:25:36.529 --> 00:25:39.569 start my journey to financial freedom. Or I'm so glad 501 00:25:39.589 --> 00:25:41.750 that I took the actions that I needed to be 502 00:25:41.829 --> 00:25:44.490 able to get a mortgage ready. Whatever it is, I 503 00:25:44.509 --> 00:25:47.869 want you to feel complete gratitude for your past self 504 00:25:47.930 --> 00:25:50.289 for doing these things. The third thing I want you 505 00:25:50.329 --> 00:25:53.769 to include is how do you feel now, like in 506 00:25:53.789 --> 00:25:54.289 the future? 507 00:25:54.630 --> 00:25:56.869 How does it feel to live. 508 00:25:56.670 --> 00:25:59.259 As this version of yourself? Again, we come back to 509 00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:01.859 asking that question. How do you feel when you wake up? 510 00:26:01.900 --> 00:26:04.349 How do you feel in your relationships? How do you 511 00:26:04.430 --> 00:26:07.470 feel at work? How do you feel in your own mind? 512 00:26:07.630 --> 00:26:12.019 What has changed internally as well as externally? So, You 513 00:26:12.059 --> 00:26:14.619 might write something like, I'm so confident in who I 514 00:26:14.809 --> 00:26:18.369 am now. My inner voice doesn't have power over me anymore. 515 00:26:18.690 --> 00:26:22.269 I have healthy, strong, supportive relationships that make me feel 516 00:26:22.369 --> 00:26:26.150 loved and seen and respected. All of these details are 517 00:26:26.299 --> 00:26:29.559 so important. Now, once you finish the letter, read it 518 00:26:29.660 --> 00:26:33.700 back to yourself slowly and then look for clues. You know, 519 00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:37.349 what did your future self thank you for beginning? What 520 00:26:37.450 --> 00:26:40.210 choices did they make consistently that got you. 521 00:26:40.109 --> 00:26:40.890 To where they are? 522 00:26:40.990 --> 00:26:43.549 What did they stop tolerating? What did they have to 523 00:26:43.609 --> 00:26:46.950 believe about themselves? And then I want you to think, 524 00:26:47.250 --> 00:26:49.990 what is one action you can take this week that 525 00:26:50.089 --> 00:26:53.470 moves you closer to that version of you? You don't 526 00:26:53.509 --> 00:26:54.170 need to know. 527 00:26:54.250 --> 00:26:55.430 Every step today. 528 00:26:55.529 --> 00:26:58.710 You just need enough clarity to identify the next one. 529 00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:02.079 And as you do that, return to affirmation from step two. 530 00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:05.480 Remind yourself, that the future you have described is not 531 00:27:05.500 --> 00:27:09.279 reserved for somebody more talented, more confident, more deserving, more 532 00:27:09.339 --> 00:27:12.039 prepared than you. Your letter does not need to become 533 00:27:12.180 --> 00:27:16.029 your reality through positive thinking alone, but it becomes possible 534 00:27:16.109 --> 00:27:18.569 when you allow yourself to believe in it, when you 535 00:27:18.589 --> 00:27:22.029 make choices in alignment with it, and when you continue 536 00:27:22.230 --> 00:27:24.789 showing up for it one step at a time. 537 00:27:25.029 --> 00:27:25.269 Okay. 538 00:27:25.789 --> 00:27:28.470 So that is episode one complete. And I want to 539 00:27:28.509 --> 00:27:31.589 thank you so much for having me as your first teacher, Grace. 540 00:27:31.650 --> 00:27:34.930 I've honestly loved every second. And I hope you're leaving 541 00:27:34.970 --> 00:27:38.089 this episode with a clearer picture of the person you're becoming, 542 00:27:38.269 --> 00:27:41.269 a stronger belief in what is possible for you, and 543 00:27:41.450 --> 00:27:45.109 one tangible action that you can begin today. Your future 544 00:27:45.130 --> 00:27:48.500 self is not a stranger waiting somewhere in the distance. 545 00:27:48.599 --> 00:27:52.339 They are being shaped by every choice that you make now. 546 00:27:52.789 --> 00:27:55.650 So keep your letter somewhere safe, return to it throughout 547 00:27:55.690 --> 00:27:58.549 the series, and remember, you don't need to transform your 548 00:27:58.630 --> 00:28:02.190 whole life overnight. You simply need to begin showing up 549 00:28:02.289 --> 00:28:05.890 for the version of you who already knows where you're going. Now, 550 00:28:05.970 --> 00:28:07.890 before I hand you back to Grace, if you want 551 00:28:07.910 --> 00:28:11.069 to go deeper into anything I've spoken about, I've sent 552 00:28:11.089 --> 00:28:14.329 my recommendations and an exercise over to Grace for the 553 00:28:14.410 --> 00:28:17.750 Working Hard newsletter this week, which is linked in the 554 00:28:17.789 --> 00:28:21.049 description of this episode. Thank you so much for listening, 555 00:28:21.210 --> 00:28:22.289 and I'll hand you over to Grace. 556 00:28:24.089 --> 00:28:26.009 Right, I am back again. And I just wanted to 557 00:28:26.029 --> 00:28:27.990 say thank you so much to Roxy for her wisdom. 558 00:28:28.049 --> 00:28:29.859 And a huge thank you to you for listening to 559 00:28:29.880 --> 00:28:32.339 the first episode of the Future Self series. I really 560 00:28:32.380 --> 00:28:33.960 hope you loved it. As I said, we've thought this 561 00:28:33.980 --> 00:28:35.940 through as almost a course. So there are going to 562 00:28:35.960 --> 00:28:38.500 be so many amazing resources. There's lots going on over 563 00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:40.920 on the Instagram. There's lots that's going to be happening 564 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:43.180 every single week in order to make this as useful 565 00:28:43.259 --> 00:28:45.460 as possible for you. If you did enjoy this episode, 566 00:28:45.500 --> 00:28:46.920 the rest of the series is going to be right 567 00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:48.460 up your street. And next week, we're going to be 568 00:28:48.500 --> 00:28:51.710 tackling how to stop your 20s sabotaging your 30s and 40s. 569 00:28:53.250 --> 00:28:54.250 So just a little light one. 570 00:28:54.970 --> 00:28:56.750 But I think particularly important because I think we spend 571 00:28:56.869 --> 00:28:59.910 so much time talking about our 20s and talking about 572 00:28:59.950 --> 00:29:02.519 what we should be doing in our 20s. Realistically, life 573 00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:04.519 is long. When we're talking about building the life we want, 574 00:29:04.819 --> 00:29:06.740 we're talking about setting ourselves up for the future. So 575 00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:08.700 we have to talk about this. So I will see 576 00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:10.809 you there then. And in the meantime, have a wonderful week.