Full Transcript for Good Uninformed People

WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.719 And he says, I wonder what it's like to watch football as a girl. 00:00:06.879 --> 00:00:10.240 To which I replied, like, are the rules different? 00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:13.839 I'm Gabby, and you're listening to While I've Got You. 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:15.199 Let's start the show. 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:48.159 A couple weeks ago, I was listening to Ju Afualu's podcast, the comment section, and she's in a hilarious conversation with comedian Ida Osman, and they sort of take a detour to talk about how we don't really show each other grace anymore, that everyone's responsible for their own education, knowledge, experience, and that experience is somehow supposed to make us geniuses. 00:00:48.640 --> 00:01:04.319 They drew the parallels between sort of cancel culture and the fact that everything can be captured, documented on our phones, not only by other people, but by the things that we post in our own personal digital footprints. 00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:11.680 And it's kind of leading us to a place where we're about to cancel grandma because she said something problematic at Thanksgiving. 00:01:11.920 --> 00:01:25.680 When the inverse is an opportunity to show grace, extend a hand, offer a different perspective, and maybe educate and bring somebody out of whatever problematic or ignorant thinking that they had prior to your exchange with them. 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:48.480 This episode and specifically that conversation, as well as my reflecting on moving to LA, knowing one person at 24 and sort of having to start over and build out a community here, in addition to a friend who has just moved to New York and is sort of in the same process. 00:01:48.799 --> 00:02:01.680 I really started to consider and think about the fact that maybe cancel culture is a contributing factor to why it's so hard to find and maintain adult friendships. 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:11.199 Especially when anything you do or say can live online in perpetuity and you can be canceled for it at any moment. 00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:24.400 Sort of like that um expression where you can't judge yesterday's actions based on tomorrow's knowledge or today's knowledge, the future knowledge that you may have. 00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:34.800 We're all kind of living in fear of the things that maybe we did in our youth, in our ignorance, can somehow be held against us in our future. 00:02:34.960 --> 00:02:42.000 And if that can happen to us individually, we have to be very mindful and vigilant about the people that we allow into our lives. 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:46.800 And unfortunately, that judgment starts from the very beginning. 00:02:47.120 --> 00:03:00.960 Day one, the second you open your mouth to meet someone new, the judgment is so severe and so harsh and so quick because there are very real consequences to being associated with someone who is problematic. 00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:05.439 You yourself can bear the repercussions of their canceling. 00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:21.919 I think there's a general sense of understanding that cancel culture is in a lot of ways harmful to the collective, to the culture itself, because it doesn't allow for this grace, it doesn't allow for growth, it doesn't allow for a person's evolution. 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:25.680 It is steadfast in its definitiveness. 00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:36.479 And I think regardless of our best intentions of this only impacting our culture, that trickles down and impacts us on an individual level as well. 00:03:36.639 --> 00:03:46.319 And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, of course, we should be beholden to the same standards that we place on others, there's of course some negative side effects to that. 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:55.280 Even as someone who needs grace being extended to them, there's a level of concern and fear and trepidation. 00:03:55.439 --> 00:04:13.039 For example, the both sides of the argument is as someone who is well informed or not currently problematic, operating at the peak capacity of my knowledge and my experience in a certain area, I may keep my circle around me very tight-knit. 00:04:13.520 --> 00:04:24.000 Anyone who is not at that same peak of knowledge and understanding that same acceptable level of group think, I keep away from me. 00:04:24.399 --> 00:04:32.319 Because in the future, even if it's not so distant, something that that person says, they can get in trouble or be canceled for. 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:34.720 And then that falls back on me. 00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:38.720 Sort of like you are a representation of the people that you keep around you. 00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:49.759 And on the flip side, if saying something out loud or leading with curiosity and saying something that is seemingly problematic, you get so much shit for it. 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:56.319 For reaching out and asking questions because they're not the right questions or they're worded and not the best way. 00:04:56.480 --> 00:05:06.399 If doing so gets you pushed out or ostracized, it's often safer to not be curious, to live in ignorance and bliss. 00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:22.000 In general, I think it's better, and something that I also very much need to work on, is to be a little more compassionate and show a little more grace, be a little bit more engaging and inviting people into more difficult conversations. 00:05:22.399 --> 00:05:25.839 We might learn something in those conversations ourselves. 00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:38.240 I definitely want to give the caveat that I don't necessarily feel this way about predators, but that's just me, and that's just this podcast. 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:48.079 I'm talking explicitly about good, uninformed people that have a tendency to adapt based off of the information that they obtain. 00:05:48.399 --> 00:06:09.279 This episode is for all of those people that are doing the work or have done the work and are still looking for their community, but are finding it difficult to