TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, my friend.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's been about six weeks since we moved into our new place, and I told you back then that I was going to be doing the packing party.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I told you that my daughter was going to be doing the pause.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My husband was going to be doing traditional decluttering.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was supposed to leave everything in boxes, and only take things out as I needed them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here to tell you that I quit, I failed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I totally didn't do it right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I do want to tell you what I did, how it happened, and where we're sitting now that it's been six weeks, because I think it turned out to be more useful than the thing I set out to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so, I would love for you to come with me on this journey, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Six weeks ago, three of us were looking at a house full of boxes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We each picked a different method, and somewhere in the last six weeks, two of us quietly traded.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, who do you think traded?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Which of us didn't do it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You obviously know I'm one half of the party, because I just told you I failed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But,
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to let you in on what the numbers were today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How many boxes did we move?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How many boxes still have left to be unpacked?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Who did which method?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What are the things that surprised me the most?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's going to be an interesting episode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Diana Yates, and you are listening to one of you clutter free.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is episode 333.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can find links about everything I talk about in the show notes below, but if you want more resources, check it out at wannabeclutterfree.com slash 333.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Again, wannabeclutterfree.com slash 333.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's get into it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I think the real numbers are going to help you see the bigger picture here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So we unpacked about 44 boxes and bins.
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[SPEAKER_00]: what were those boxes?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had about three small boxes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had about 15 bankers boxes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Those are like the white ones that are really good for books and heavier items.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We had seven medium boxes, eight large boxes, five wardrobe boxes, and four big plastic tubs.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are what have been unpacked so far.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is what we unpacked in our house.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There are still six boxes inside our house that are packed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: two are at the top of my stairs and those are mostly our family board games and some of my daughter's items three are in my daughter's room and one is in the garage labeled the core.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, this does not include the things that we purposely keep in bins and boxes as organized storage.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I do still have boxes in our garage that are labeled.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are things like our outdoor stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I actually have one labeled outdoor so that's like camping stuff and things we just use outside.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have one for water.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Those are going to be things that we use at the beach, things that my daughter uses for junior life guards, anything will want for the pool, anything that's water related.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have things like snow, so our snowboard stuff is in there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what in those boxes, those are the regular normal every day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: kind of garage items that we are keeping and storing out in the garage.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not including those in the boxes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I guess I could include them in the boxes, but these are not things we've unpacked.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So they're staying packed in those bins in the garage.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hope that makes sense.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then here is what is currently sitting in our declutter pile.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I want to show you what we're decluttering.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, so for those of you that are listening to this, I am taking you on a tour, a slight tour of our new house.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to show you the declutter pile that we have.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, here we go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we're done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, so here is the pile of stuff we are decluttering.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, it's not too bad.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have a pile of books and highlights that I want
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to donate somewhere that can use those.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are two bags of children's toys.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have curtains from my daughter's old room, 17 children's books, 16 square mirrors.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These ones are my Kia.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was supposed to put these up in our garage in our last garage and I just never did.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm definitely not going to put them up here if I didn't put them up there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so those are going away as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Some slippers.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have some glasses and things from our kitchen that I just didn't use before.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not going to use them now for hats to extension cords.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What else is in here?
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've got some.
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[SPEAKER_00]: eight articles of clothing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have four of these food storage containers for my kia, just never seem to keep our food fresh.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So those are going.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have an under sync organizer and a couple other things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So spice racks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, there are quite a few things going, so this is what we have over the last six weeks we decided these are things that are going.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's electronics that needs to be recycled too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I got a really great tip from Elisner to this podcast, Lynn, thank you so much for sending in the tip about the dream recycling in San Diego.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So make sure you're looking in your local area, just Google or search for electronics recycling.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And this place is awesome, because it's going to be able to recycle any kind of electronics, whether it's old computers or old films or chords or batteries, because I have learned with staples, they now have a 10 battery per month limit, which that goes really fast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love having this new resource so lint thank you very much.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have not gotten a chance to check it out yet, but I do have my box ready to go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I will be dropping that off very soon.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, thank you so much for that tip.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I actually decided to come back to my office because it's a podcast and we need to hear the audio versus see what's going on.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I want to talk you through the packing party.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My thoughts on it and what happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: part is that I actually don't like things sitting in boxes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't realize that really before I mean, I did.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I knew.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I knew I didn't like things in boxes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't like things unfinished.
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[SPEAKER_00]: However, I really didn't think it would annoy me as much as it did, and it totally annoyed me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I tried.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I really did, but every time I walked by a sack of boxes, I had boxes sitting in this
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[SPEAKER_00]: not know what was in there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I felt like things were unfinished and I kept wanting to open them, I had wanting to see what was in there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't like it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I quit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't a dramatic moment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't like I threw the towel in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't like I got fed up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I just decided like I would rather just unpack.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I started unpacking like a normal person and that's okay for a while I felt really bad about it because I told you I was going to do this experiment, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I felt like I was letting you down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like I was letting myself down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like I was doing something wrong.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But when I looked at what actually happened and I understood why it didn't work for me, it made more sense and I thought maybe that story would be interesting to share.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The packing party is built to show you what you don't use, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's built to show you like, oh, you have all this stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You've never decluttered.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't know what it's like to declutter.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You think you need everything you have.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's its purpose.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the job.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what it was designed for.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You hide everything away and then you live your life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then whatever you reach for is your answer.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It shows you the stuff you need.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I've been doing this work for years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know that I could absolutely
100% if I had to live without a lot of the stuff we have.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Look, we've been into survival shows for a little while now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We got into Survivor.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've watched most of the seasons there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we're watching alone right now on Netflix.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And these people get to take 10 things with them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have zero desire to do anything like that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: At least I can maybe see myself on Survivor, but the alone show, no, no, thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but I don't want to live that stark.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know, though, that I could survive without a lot of the stuff that I have right now in my home.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I don't need the packing party to tell me that I could live with less.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know I could live with less.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I've already gone through my things over and over and over again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you've seen even since last year, right, in the last 12 months, I have probably decluttered a thousand items from my home.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do I need a packing party to show me what else I need to declutter?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, I feel actually really comfortable with the amount of stuff I have and I own and so I think the packing party wasn't necessarily what I needed to do for myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Could I find some more things to do to clutter?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, I'm sure I could.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure I have more pencils than I need.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure I have, I mean, I actually have I counted.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have four roles of Scotch tape.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Is that more scotch tape than I need?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Is it something I'm going to use over time?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do I need to declutter three rolls of scotch tape in order to feel good about what I own?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, I do not.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay having a few extra rolls of scotch tape because they came in a pack of three or four.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I have the extra ones.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to use the tape and decluttering perfectly good things that I'm going to use just didn't feel good, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Owning less for the sake of owning less feels silly to
me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so in my office, I'm using more of the container method, the container idea from DNA K White.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If everything fits in the space that I've given it that I'm okay,
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[SPEAKER_00]: I also am using the concept from Dawn the Minimal Mom of Margin.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want more space, so instead of filling up every drawer and saying, okay, I can put so many roles of Scotch Tape or whatever in these drawers, I still am saying, okay, I still want some room.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to grow, to breathe, to have.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to fill all the space up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I do know that I am setting more limits on myself, but we'll get to that a little bit later, I think I'm getting ahead of myself in my notes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So the packing party gave me friction without a payoff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: For someone whose house is already pretty paired down, it just makes you go dick through a box to find your stapler, and I didn't feel like I needed that extra step.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it does have its place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's go back and look at who I am swapping with.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Who do you think it is?
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[SPEAKER_00]: To rumroll?
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[SPEAKER_00]: The part I didn't see coming is that I traded methods with my daughter.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I tuned into the pause box.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I liked the idea of going through all of my stuff and then saying, these are the things I'm unsure about.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are the things I want to set off to the side.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to come back and revisit these things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So there is one box in our garage that I absolutely have not opened yet.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't open it since we moved.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think I labeled it correctly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It says decor on it and it's the decor from our old bookshelves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you don't remember what those are, I'll put a picture here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I built those bookshelves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My husband wanted a library and it fits so nicely in our last place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Unfortunately, we could not bring it to this new place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We just did not have a place for it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I've lost those bookshelves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And those had a lot of like little decor items on them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the decor items are things that tell our story.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So they were like our cake topper from our wedding.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The Morocco from our wedding.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We got made in Mexico.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And they are little nicknaps that we've gotten from family members, like a teal glass from my husband's grandparents and little things from my grandparents.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so there are things in there that are telling the story.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm absolutely sure I'm going to keep some of those things, but where I want to put them, I don't know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They might end up more in my sentimental box than out in the house, but I just want to have a little space between taking them from the old place and putting them
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I found myself gravitating toward that pause.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'll put a date on there in in six months.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go back through that box.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I probably will end up keeping everything in it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: For now, I don't need to get rid of it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And again, I don't wanna get rid of things just for the sake of getting rid of them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it turns out to court is a hard category for me because I don't want to get rid of something and then just turn around and buy it all over again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't love that consumption cycle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be a consumer in that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't enjoy going to like home goods and finding things just for the season or swapping out new for the things that work perfectly well in our house.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I am looking at why would I get rid of this stuff, just to get new stuff.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm doing the pos box, the exact thing that my daughter was supposed to be doing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But you know what, it didn't work for my daughter.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She has been so busy with school and activities and sports.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She hasn't had the time or the desire to really go through and rearrange her room yet, like we have the bare minimum out for her, and so it turns out she's doing the packing party.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Her lot of her stuff is still in boxes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She actually still has three boxes in her room that she hasn't unpacked.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It hasn't been in priority for her, and so she's been living her life and getting the things out as she needs them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In six weeks, she
has gone into those boxes exactly four times.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's gotten notebooks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's gotten a fidget item out of there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's gotten her sleeping bag.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And she's gotten a gift from a friend out of there that she has wanted access to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now we did unpack a lot of things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We unpacked all of her books.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And she decluttered her books.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You saw there were 17 books in the donation pile.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've unpacked all of her clothes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Her dresser is set up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Things like that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Her desk is set up in there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: but she hasn't gotten her leg goes out.
14:06.526 --> 14:11.807
[SPEAKER_00]: She hasn't gotten out some of the things that I was like, oh, okay, and she just stopped.
14:11.927 --> 14:17.849
[SPEAKER_00]: Once she had the stuff she needed for her everyday life, she just stopped unpacking.
14:18.409 --> 14:24.250
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's another area in our home that we're doing the packing party with unintentionally and it's our craft room.
14:24.890 --> 14:27.091
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have a craft area with a dual desk
14:29.211 --> 14:31.993
[SPEAKER_00]: It also hasn't really been utilized or unpacked.
14:32.013 --> 14:36.877
[SPEAKER_00]: We've gotten out the markers and the colored pencils for an activity that we've done.
14:37.278 --> 14:39.259
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm using my sewing machine this weekend.
14:40.120 --> 14:43.282
[SPEAKER_00]: And there are a few other items that we've already gotten out and used.
14:44.143 --> 14:49.706
[SPEAKER_00]: So they have a home, but there are still things that have surround rep on them that that's how I packed up the drawers and things.
14:50.267 --> 14:53.108
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we'll see, we'll see what we end up getting out.
14:53.489 --> 14:56.651
[SPEAKER_00]: I do like that we're going into a more crafting season.
14:56.671 --> 15:00.913
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't craft a lot in the summer because we're busy and we're out at the beach, we're out doing stuff outside.
15:01.333 --> 15:03.815
[SPEAKER_00]: And so now as we're getting into fall and winter,
15:04.135 --> 15:06.337
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I know we live in Southern California.
15:06.377 --> 15:08.739
[SPEAKER_00]: It's still sunny and gorgeous in 75 out today.
15:08.800 --> 15:11.542
[SPEAKER_00]: I get it, but it's supposed to be a really rainy winter.
15:11.722 --> 15:12.223
[SPEAKER_00]: So we'll see.
15:12.403 --> 15:16.367
[SPEAKER_00]: We might have a lot of inside time and time to craft and do things.
15:16.847 --> 15:21.612
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to see what we get out in the next six months in that area as well.
15:24.095 --> 15:27.317
[SPEAKER_00]: So when I look back at it, the packing part is actually working perfectly for her.
15:27.537 --> 15:28.958
[SPEAKER_00]: I told you it does work.
15:29.398 --> 15:32.560
[SPEAKER_00]: Just it depends on your situation and your timing.
15:32.640 --> 15:35.821
[SPEAKER_00]: So for her, she doesn't need everything immediately right now.
15:36.542 --> 15:43.025
[SPEAKER_00]: The longer it sits in that box, the easier it is going to be for her to let go of it, because she is a very sensitive kid.
15:43.085 --> 15:46.287
[SPEAKER_00]: And she has a very good memory about everything.
15:46.467 --> 15:47.568
[SPEAKER_00]: I learned that early on.
15:48.248 --> 15:55.835
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, she can pick up a rock and still remember where it comes from, but the longer it goes, the easier it is for her to let go of things as well.
15:55.895 --> 15:59.177
[SPEAKER_00]: So we'll see how long these things sit in her box.
15:59.297 --> 16:05.423
[SPEAKER_00]: I am hoping to spend some time over the Thanksgiving break when she actually has a break from school because we're not traveling.
16:05.763 --> 16:13.750
[SPEAKER_00]: So I do want to dedicate a good chunk of time over that holiday break to really get in there and get her room set up as she wants it to be.
16:16.592 --> 16:17.933
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband stayed right in his lane.
16:18.293 --> 16:20.114
[SPEAKER_00]: He did exactly what he started out to do.
16:20.414 --> 16:24.096
[SPEAKER_00]: He did the traditional straight through unpacking, decluttering as he went.
16:24.496 --> 16:26.557
[SPEAKER_00]: His office was one of the first rooms we set up.
16:26.778 --> 16:28.939
[SPEAKER_00]: It was one of the first rooms to be finished in the house.
16:29.419 --> 16:31.180
[SPEAKER_00]: And he decluttered as he went too.
16:31.640 --> 16:36.223
[SPEAKER_00]: So most of the electronics in that pile that I showed you are from the office.
16:36.243 --> 16:38.904
[SPEAKER_00]: There is the clothes in that pile or his as well.
16:39.324 --> 16:40.685
[SPEAKER_00]: I already decluttered my clothes.
16:40.725 --> 16:42.666
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't need to declutter them again.
16:45.131 --> 16:47.954
[SPEAKER_00]: So, his pretty straightforward is really easy.
16:48.334 --> 16:55.622
[SPEAKER_00]: I know I assigned these three methods to the three of us and six weeks later, two of us switched without even discussing it.
16:55.662 --> 17:04.290
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I didn't tell her that she was going to do the packing party, and I sure as heck did not expect to be doing the pos box, but that's just how it works out sometimes.
17:05.071 --> 17:08.552
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't be so prescriptive, I think, in life.
17:08.592 --> 17:14.353
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to go with the, with the flow a little bit, ebs and flows and see what works for you.
17:15.154 --> 17:18.834
[SPEAKER_00]: And give it time, it's okay.
17:19.575 --> 17:24.456
[SPEAKER_00]: I
know so many people when they decided to clutter, they just want to rip off the bandaid and get it done.
17:26.088 --> 17:27.888
[SPEAKER_00]: And if that works for you, that's great.
17:27.989 --> 17:31.489
[SPEAKER_00]: But if it doesn't work for you, I want you to know there's nothing wrong with you.
17:31.669 --> 17:32.910
[SPEAKER_00]: It is absolutely okay.
17:32.930 --> 17:34.910
[SPEAKER_00]: The stuff did not come into your house overnight.
17:34.990 --> 17:36.491
[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't have to leave overnight.
17:37.011 --> 17:38.111
[SPEAKER_00]: You can take your time.
17:38.451 --> 17:41.072
[SPEAKER_00]: You can do one room at a time.
17:41.172 --> 17:44.753
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, it's almost better because you learn as you go.
17:44.773 --> 17:46.273
[SPEAKER_00]: It gets easier as you go.
17:46.933 --> 17:49.174
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's what I would encourage you to do.
17:49.194 --> 17:53.135
[SPEAKER_00]: As someone who's been doing this for years and years and years, I am still surprised by,
17:55.302 --> 17:57.924
[SPEAKER_00]: how daunting it can be sometimes.
17:58.364 --> 18:05.027
[SPEAKER_00]: So please know, if you are new at this, it's okay if it's a little hard, but you can do hard things, right?
18:05.108 --> 18:13.032
[SPEAKER_00]: We know this, we can all get through our struggles and think about a time when something was hard in your life and you overcame it.
18:13.592 --> 18:23.298
[SPEAKER_00]: And if this is important to you and you want to declutter and you want to get the stuff out of your home, so you have that room to breathe, which I highly encourage and I hope you are because you're listening to this podcast,
18:24.492 --> 18:26.514
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to know you can do it, and it's okay.
18:26.554 --> 18:30.279
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's also okay if you use all the different methods all over your house.
18:30.639 --> 18:32.641
[SPEAKER_00]: You do not have to just pick one and go with it.
18:32.782 --> 18:35.865
[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay, and it's okay if it changes along the way as well.
18:41.211 --> 18:43.313
[SPEAKER_00]: So here's what six weeks taught me.
18:44.162 --> 18:46.242
[SPEAKER_00]: What I'm actually after is margin.
18:46.983 --> 18:47.763
[SPEAKER_00]: I want space.
18:48.183 --> 18:54.164
[SPEAKER_00]: I want open space on purpose in every drawer, on every shelf, and definitely on every flat surface.
18:54.964 --> 18:58.105
[SPEAKER_00]: You have seen me talk about the flat surface idea.
18:58.765 --> 19:02.326
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was the worst defender.
19:02.746 --> 19:11.748
[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely just love to dump my stuff on the first flat surface I see, especially when I walk in, and my hands are full, and I'm tired, and I just wanna relax.
19:12.732 --> 19:20.197
[SPEAKER_00]: But I have put a bin, like I was just a quicker basket on the console that we're using as our bookshelf.
19:20.217 --> 19:21.258
[SPEAKER_00]: It's at behind our couch.
19:21.278 --> 19:22.659
[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of in the middle of our house.
19:23.339 --> 19:28.263
[SPEAKER_00]: And it has been so great to have that place be my catch-all.
19:28.563 --> 19:34.267
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the place where I put my purse and my hat and my sonys and my keys, well, my key just stays in my purse.
19:34.727 --> 19:38.190
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's so nice to be able to just put stuff there.
19:39.339 --> 19:46.142
[SPEAKER_00]: and know where it is when I leave the house, it's so simple and yet those simple things work because they're simple.
19:46.943 --> 19:50.684
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's okay if you're thinking, why it just seems too easy.
19:51.005 --> 19:53.066
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it is too easy and that's okay.
19:53.286 --> 19:55.367
[SPEAKER_00]: We do not need to complicate things on purpose.
19:55.387 --> 19:56.627
[SPEAKER_00]: Like overcomplicate them.
19:56.647 --> 19:57.328
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's not do that.
19:57.488 --> 19:58.908
[SPEAKER_00]: Try not to overcomplicate everything.
19:59.609 --> 20:01.930
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for me, I've learned that I want
20:02.410 --> 20:02.950
[SPEAKER_00]: more space.
20:02.970 --> 20:03.871
[SPEAKER_00]: I want space to breathe.
20:03.891 --> 20:05.472
[SPEAKER_00]: I want space to move.
20:05.772 --> 20:12.235
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what the whole thing has been about the whole time, just a little bit of extra relaxation.
20:12.915 --> 20:21.599
[SPEAKER_00]: So let me tell you what margin looks like because I think people hear that word and they picture an empty room or they picture a lot of space.
20:22.119 --> 20:26.842
[SPEAKER_00]: But for me, a drawer with margin is still going to have your stuff in it, right?
20:30.123 --> 20:32.967
[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe you just want 25% margin.
20:33.588 --> 20:37.112
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe for starting out, let's go for 5% margin, right?
20:37.173 --> 20:45.003
[SPEAKER_00]: Is your if you have 100 items in your closet and we remove five of them, that's 5%.
20:46.744 --> 20:47.885
[SPEAKER_00]: is there a little more space?
20:47.985 --> 20:52.006
[SPEAKER_00]: Now is it easier to move your clothes back and forth to actually move the hanger to see what you've got?
20:52.506 --> 20:55.067
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's not enough, if it still feels like it's really tight?
20:55.187 --> 20:57.148
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, can you get rid of another five?
20:57.688 --> 20:58.569
[SPEAKER_00]: How is that feeling?
20:59.049 --> 21:00.329
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you get rid of another five?
21:00.690 --> 21:01.510
[SPEAKER_00]: How does that feel?
21:01.850 --> 21:05.291
[SPEAKER_00]: And at some point you're going to get to a point where you're like, oh, there is enough room.
21:05.331 --> 21:06.312
[SPEAKER_00]: My clothes can move.
21:06.712 --> 21:07.612
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what I have.
21:07.832 --> 21:08.813
[SPEAKER_00]: It feels really good.
21:09.533 --> 21:10.634
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're after.
21:10.855 --> 21:15.680
[SPEAKER_00]: We're after that ability that
he's to live life with less stuff.
21:16.061 --> 21:17.182
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what clutter free is.
21:17.623 --> 21:23.029
[SPEAKER_00]: Clutter free is being able to live your life with ease, not having the least amount of stuff possible.
21:24.731 --> 21:29.196
[SPEAKER_00]: So, margin means you don't have to play Tetris to put something away.
21:30.337 --> 21:38.082
[SPEAKER_00]: Margin means that the counter can hold the male for one afternoon and still look fine, but it's probably better if you have an inbox for it to go, right?
21:38.102 --> 21:39.883
[SPEAKER_00]: So that it doesn't overflow.
21:40.383 --> 21:41.384
[SPEAKER_00]: Margin is the buffer.
21:41.804 --> 21:46.427
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a difference between a house that absorbs a hard week, and one that falls apart during one.
21:47.147 --> 21:58.120
[SPEAKER_00]: So when you have a little extra space, if time is, you know, if things are busy and you are exhausted and works, got heart, heart deadlines and the kids are going through something or they get sick and you've just got a lot on your plate.
21:58.580 --> 22:01.043
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's okay because you've built in that margin.
22:01.163 --> 22:04.447
[SPEAKER_00]: Things can pile up a little bit and it doesn't fall apart.
22:05.088 --> 22:05.708
[SPEAKER_00]: Piling up.
22:06.489 --> 22:07.490
[SPEAKER_00]: doesn't have to fall apart.
22:08.210 --> 22:11.373
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, margin isn't just in your physical space.
22:11.833 --> 22:14.715
[SPEAKER_00]: I start with physical space because it's the most tangible.
22:15.036 --> 22:17.878
[SPEAKER_00]: It seems to be the most easy or the easiest.
22:18.238 --> 22:20.680
[SPEAKER_00]: We can pick something up and make a decision on it.
22:20.720 --> 22:32.209
[SPEAKER_00]: If we don't like it, we can chuck it, whether that's chucking it in the trash because we just need that space today, or we put it in the donation bin, we can actually physically do something and that feels so good inside.
22:32.649 --> 22:34.331
[SPEAKER_00]: But margin is also in your calendar,
22:34.931 --> 22:38.795
[SPEAKER_00]: So you have a little space to move between activities.
22:38.815 --> 22:40.057
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're not back to back to back.
22:40.638 --> 22:48.386
[SPEAKER_00]: When school calls, you're not having to cancel three things if you're a kid sick or you're able to move things around because you have margin and space in your calendar.
22:48.506 --> 22:50.729
[SPEAKER_00]: Margin is the budget, right?
22:50.789 --> 22:55.755
[SPEAKER_00]: The money you didn't spend so that when something happens if your car breaks down or
22:57.556 --> 23:00.579
[SPEAKER_00]: you need something for school that you have the space.
23:00.639 --> 23:02.840
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a little bit of buffer zone, right?
23:02.900 --> 23:04.902
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the buffer, and that's what I love about it.
23:05.442 --> 23:08.885
[SPEAKER_00]: Marginia Brain is the capacity that you didn't
use up, right?
23:08.905 --> 23:11.688
[SPEAKER_00]: So that you can be there when your kid wants to talk.
23:12.048 --> 23:17.812
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't always happen, but when they want to, gosh, I want to be there when she's like, hey mom, guess what happened today?
23:18.393 --> 23:21.415
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be able to tune in instead of being so busy.
23:21.776 --> 23:24.318
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to build some buffer and margin in my brain.
23:25.627 --> 23:32.670
[SPEAKER_00]: I think in Italy we understand why we need that, but somewhere along the way, we have stopped applying it to our homes and to our lives.
23:34.131 --> 23:45.376
[SPEAKER_00]: The world tells us that we can fill it and fit in more and more and more and more fit more fit, more cram more in there, do more, be more, own more, have more, you want more.
23:45.396 --> 23:51.379
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's okay to wanna pull back and say, this is enough, I feel good with this.
23:52.441 --> 23:56.968
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's what I'm hoping for with some clutter free time.
23:57.589 --> 24:04.279
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're struggling with knowing where to start, where to create margin, start with a nightly 10 minute tidy.
24:05.630 --> 24:13.637
[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds too simple, but remember, I just told you simple sometimes is the easiest and something simple is works for a reason.
24:13.977 --> 24:14.618
[SPEAKER_00]: It really does.
24:15.038 --> 24:19.262
[SPEAKER_00]: So start with 10 minutes tonight and block it in your calendar.
24:19.502 --> 24:21.664
[SPEAKER_00]: If you need help with it, that's why I built Tindi.
24:21.724 --> 24:26.388
[SPEAKER_00]: It's an app that I swear by, I created it, well, I designed it.
24:26.428 --> 24:27.349
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband created it.
24:28.390 --> 24:33.154
[SPEAKER_00]: And it allows me to know, okay, every day, the timer goes off for me.
24:33.354 --> 24:34.415
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to remember it.
24:34.915 --> 24:40.540
[SPEAKER_00]: It gives my brain space to let that go and just know that it's going to be coming along the way.
24:40.920 --> 24:44.002
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember saying that I would love for someone to parent me.
24:44.563 --> 24:47.685
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I've set up systems in my life to do that for me.
24:47.785 --> 24:49.827
[SPEAKER_00]: And Cindy is one of those things that I use.
24:51.228 --> 24:52.889
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to use the brain power anymore.
24:53.009 --> 24:54.270
[SPEAKER_00]: It's already set up for me.
24:54.770 --> 25:02.075
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's 10 minutes, set the timer, tidy up the space you're in, and when the timer goes off, you're done.
25:02.395 --> 25:04.416
[SPEAKER_00]: You do not have to finish the entire task.
25:04.896 --> 25:06.017
[SPEAKER_00]: That is the special part.
25:06.057 --> 25:06.757
[SPEAKER_00]: That is the key.
25:07.218 --> 25:10.199
[SPEAKER_00]: Do 10 minutes, and then it won't be so daunting tomorrow.
25:10.580 --> 25:11.380
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it again tomorrow.
25:11.500 --> 25:12.241
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it the next day.
25:12.601 --> 25:14.462
[SPEAKER_00]: And you will start to see like, oh,
25:15.958 --> 25:21.923
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the areas where we have the bottlenecks or you know what it didn't actually take me that long to tidy up.
25:21.983 --> 25:29.288
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been putting this off all week because I just thought it was going to take me so long, but I was able to do it in seven and a half minutes.
25:29.489 --> 25:30.309
[SPEAKER_00]: That is incredible.
25:30.830 --> 25:32.031
[SPEAKER_00]: And so just give it a try.
25:32.251 --> 25:34.212
[SPEAKER_00]: 10 minutes and I is a great place to start.
25:35.774 --> 25:36.914
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we be real for a minute?
25:36.934 --> 25:37.595
[SPEAKER_00]: Can we have a moment?
25:38.115 --> 25:38.576
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope so.
25:38.756 --> 25:39.657
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I be honest with you?
25:41.078 --> 25:43.940
[SPEAKER_00]: There was one room that really surprised me in my house.
25:45.695 --> 25:51.137
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the room I'm struggling with the most, and I think a lot of you are in the exact same spot.
25:52.757 --> 25:54.898
[SPEAKER_00]: The room I'm struggling with the most is my daughter's room.
25:56.718 --> 26:01.720
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I sat with why it's so hard for me, here's what I found.
26:03.880 --> 26:08.842
[SPEAKER_00]: Mom guilt is probably the single, biggest reason I keep things.
26:15.541 --> 26:18.083
[SPEAKER_00]: And even as I say that, I know it's not rational.
26:18.984 --> 26:25.709
[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's not rational, because we don't actually buy a ton or I don't feel like we buy a ton.
26:26.569 --> 26:28.330
[SPEAKER_00]: Stuff is just accumulated over the years.
26:28.911 --> 26:33.114
[SPEAKER_00]: Things from here, things from there, especially those cross-upplies I was talking about.
26:34.835 --> 26:39.839
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I feel like I wanted to do the activities with her.
26:40.339 --> 26:41.800
[SPEAKER_00]: I want her to have the things she wants.
26:41.840 --> 26:43.321
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, I said she's a sensitive kid,
26:46.872 --> 26:51.156
[SPEAKER_00]: And those craft supplies, who they were the biggest surprise in the whole move.
26:51.516 --> 26:55.539
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually have no idea how we fit all of that in our old house.
26:56.260 --> 27:00.303
[SPEAKER_00]: I think some of the craft items must have been stored in her room.
27:00.423 --> 27:08.150
[SPEAKER_00]: I know we had a bit of a craft closet in our last place, but there is no way that it could have all fit in the same place.
27:08.250 --> 27:12.033
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think this is the one area where when I gathered it all together, I went,
27:13.367 --> 27:13.767
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
27:14.587 --> 27:15.028
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
27:15.428 --> 27:17.028
[SPEAKER_00]: I think some of it was in our living room.
27:17.128 --> 27:20.770
[SPEAKER_00]: It was
definitely in the linen closet and then must have been in her bedroom as well.
27:20.890 --> 27:25.191
[SPEAKER_00]: And actually now that I think about it, the sewing machine was in my closet, which is not anymore.
27:25.211 --> 27:26.392
[SPEAKER_00]: I put it all in the same place.
27:26.432 --> 27:28.832
[SPEAKER_00]: So I took four areas and put them into one.
27:28.873 --> 27:31.173
[SPEAKER_00]: And so no wonder it feels like we have so much stuff.
27:32.394 --> 27:33.954
[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the real thing underneath it.
27:35.995 --> 27:38.096
[SPEAKER_00]: My stuff is easy for me.
27:39.126 --> 27:44.424
[SPEAKER_00]: I can look at my things and I can make a quick decision, but her stuff isn't mine.
27:46.197 --> 27:51.299
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't get to decide, and I don't want to decide, right?
27:51.559 --> 28:02.763
[SPEAKER_00]: I want her to be the decision maker, because that's how a kid learns what is important to them, what things don't matter for them, and if they make a mistake, that's okay.
28:02.884 --> 28:04.364
[SPEAKER_00]: I want them to make those small mistakes.
28:04.404 --> 28:08.126
[SPEAKER_00]: I want her to make small mistakes when she's at home, so that when she goes
28:14.678 --> 28:17.363
[SPEAKER_00]: There are things we have to decide, right?
28:19.026 --> 28:19.948
[SPEAKER_00]: It's piled up.
28:21.010 --> 28:24.135
[SPEAKER_00]: And like I said, we're gonna spend Thanksgiving break going through it.
28:24.756 --> 28:25.938
[SPEAKER_00]: Gives us a whole week.
28:27.244 --> 28:31.066
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm just shocked at how much their, there was.
28:31.126 --> 28:34.947
[SPEAKER_00]: That was the one room that I was like, oh, okay, interesting.
28:35.468 --> 28:37.048
[SPEAKER_00]: But it gives me something to think about.
28:37.229 --> 28:42.931
[SPEAKER_00]: And especially as I said earlier, we're prepping for a very rainy winter.
28:42.951 --> 28:45.732
[SPEAKER_00]: And if that's the case, then we're gonna be spending more time at home.
28:45.852 --> 28:48.934
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would love to not just fill that with movie time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I would love to fill that with,
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[SPEAKER_00]: looking through these crafts and making crafts and using the resources that we already have in our home without buying anything new.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's what I'm looking forward to doing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And my goal really with all of this is to make her room the place that she actually wants to be in as she is a teenager now and transitioning into more independent
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[SPEAKER_00]: you know, having more independence, I want her to really love her room.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want her to feel comfortable in this house and make it her space.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so we'll see.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited to see what happens over Thanksgiving break, just see how her rooms feeling in the end and and I'll try to get her opinion on it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I just want you to know that if you are sitting in your kids doorway, feeling the same way,
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[SPEAKER_00]: I see you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's the hardest room.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's the hardest one in my house, and I didn't really expect that, and I'm sure it's hard for you too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, as they're growing up, it's just that all of that transition, them no longer being the little kid that she used to be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And now, you know, I'm sitting here going, gosh, the next few years are going to fly by, and just going to be out of the house.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's, that's heavy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard to deal with that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But,
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[SPEAKER_00]: stuff is just stuff and we need to keep the special things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I'm going to be planning on.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like finding those little things that remind me of that time and putting those in my sentimental box so that I can keep those things close.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it'll be easier to let go of the things whenever she is ready to let go of them.
30:22.793 --> 30:23.994
[SPEAKER_00]: So back to those numbers again.
30:24.014 --> 30:29.219
[SPEAKER_00]: I had 42 boxes of things we moved, six boxes still unpacked in my house.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I thought I was gonna do the packing party.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I ended up being the one doing the pause box.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My daughter's doing the packing party.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My husband's stuff apparently was easy.
30:38.167 --> 30:42.270
[SPEAKER_00]: He just kind of rips right through it and he did the traditional method.
30:42.290 --> 30:43.772
[SPEAKER_00]: We did find some things to declutter.
30:43.892 --> 30:45.573
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure there's more he could declutter.
30:46.374 --> 30:53.597
[SPEAKER_00]: turns out we want margin, more space, more breathability, and that's what allows me to relax into our new home.
30:53.917 --> 31:00.119
[SPEAKER_00]: So as we move into this new home, my challenge for myself is to not bring in anything new.
31:00.139 --> 31:11.343
[SPEAKER_00]: I know we don't need anything, and so my goal is to kind of be on a spending hiatus for things in our home for at least six months, and we'll see what we do.
31:12.063 --> 31:13.644
[SPEAKER_00]: But I want to leave you with a challenge.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love to give you a challenge every week and so this week I want you to do something.
31:18.027 -->
31:18.588
[SPEAKER_00]: It's small.
31:18.708 --> 31:21.710
[SPEAKER_00]: I always try to keep these challenges really small Don't worry.
31:21.750 --> 31:25.172
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna ask you to do a packing party or anything like that.
31:25.272 --> 31:26.293
[SPEAKER_00]: I just want you to pick one drawer
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want you to empty it down to a number.
31:30.055 --> 31:36.101
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want you to say, I've got 50 things in this drawer and I've got to get it down to, you know, 30.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to take out enough that you can start to see some air in there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can start to see some space, some room.
31:45.210 --> 31:50.235
[SPEAKER_00]: Then close it and tomorrow I want you to open it again and see how it feels.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe do this before bed tonight.
31:53.274 --> 31:58.683
[SPEAKER_00]: And then tomorrow, after you've gotten a good night's sleep, you can open the drawer and see how it feels.
31:59.818 --> 32:00.679
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the margin.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the space.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Once you feel it in one drawer, I think you're gonna want it everywhere and I think you're gonna be like, oh, that feels really good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you have filled up your house, it's going to be a challenge, but that's okay.
32:16.552 --> 32:20.995
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, we can do hard things and we can do them in small, tiny increments.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't have to be everything today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can just do one drawer today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: One drawer tomorrow, and I promise all of these little things, all these little changes, little moments, little steps, they add up to be huge.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because what I used to do in the past and would fail at all the time was, no, I have to make up for lost time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You do not have to make up for lost time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Start today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's the best time to start because it's what you have.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's what you have available to you.
32:55.077 --> 33:06.626
[SPEAKER_00]: So do a little bit today, don't feel like you have to do everything at once, that's what I used to do, and I failed all the time, and I feel really bad about it, but now I know if I just start small, and I just do one thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If I still have the energy I can do, I can do another thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: but I only have to do that one thing today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that has made a huge difference for me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I hope it will make a huge difference for you.
33:16.408
--> 33:20.590
[SPEAKER_00]: 10 minutes at a time, I promise, makes a world of difference.
33:21.771 --> 33:29.115
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, as we wrap up today, I do wanna tell you about one thing that I did not tell you about today or I didn't show you today at least and it is my pause box.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's right here next to me, it's kind of big.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I am going to be emptying this and going through what's in it taking everything out one by one and showing it to you on YouTube.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so if you're not following me, I'm going to do a YouTube short on this.
33:43.903 --> 33:45.764
[SPEAKER_00]: I am at want to be clutter free over there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm also an Instagram at that so you can follow me in either place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But come check me out on YouTube.
33:50.266 --> 33:51.167
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really excited.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's been a lot of fun over there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm excited to see what happens.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm also excited to see what's in this box over here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm not going to peek right now because that's coming
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[SPEAKER_00]: Alright, in about six months, I am opening that decor box in the garage, and I will tell you exactly what I missed and what I didn't, so follow along.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know you're not going to remember in six months, but I will, because I'm going to put it in the calendar.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I make sure that I do that for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Alright, thank you so much for being here with me, boxes, and all, I hope you enjoyed seeing what was in our donation pile, and what we've learned over the last six weeks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know it's been a journey, thank you for being here with me for it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know I quit the experiment, but I would do it again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I would do it again because I don't think I would have gotten the results had I
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[SPEAKER_00]: said I was doing something else.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to try something and not win at it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's really okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why it's an experiment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing is going to go exactly as you expect to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's a life lesson that I'm learning continually.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So turns out, I just wanted it a little more space to breathe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Room to breathe, space to live.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so,
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I hope for you as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If that is what you're looking for as you live want to be clutter-free.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, I'm Diana Yates and you've been listening to One of We Clutter Free.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll see you next week.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Cheers!