Full Transcript for Herding Cats

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WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000 Unruly Confessions Ep 6 - Herding Cats 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:04.000 The following podcast contains adult themes, graphic sexual content, strong language, alcohol and drug references, and some infrequent violence. Everything you need for a wild ride. 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:06.000 Also, please do remember that this is a work of fiction. Please do not come for us. We're not here to upset you. We're just having a bit of fun. So, if any of the characters are familiar to you, you find similarities with real people or their music, just know that they're all lightly inspired by many of our favourite bands and they are completely fictional. So let us not, let us not get upset about this. 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:10.000 (Nicole laughs)(Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House) Hello and welcome back to Unruly Confessions. We are already on episode six. Madness! 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:12.000 Like, how did we get here already? 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:14.000 I know it's exciting. 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:16.000 That went fast. 00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:20.000 So, this episode, uh episode six, will be called Herding Cats, and you will understand very shortly what that's about. But before we get there,(Arabella chuckles) I am one of your hosts, Nicole van Niekerk, and this is the other host 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:22.000 Arabella Gourlay. All right, it's that time, people. Time for me to do my crazy catchups on what was last episode Aqua Dooooom! 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:24.000 Aqua Dooooom! 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:26.000 So, Nicole woke up and completely forgot where she was and the fact that she had the best night of her life so far, before it came crashing back to her and she went, oh yeah. 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:27.000 Then she tried to take a sneaky little pic of Mike sleeping, because who wouldn't? 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:28.000 She saw missed calls and messages from me and then instantly forgot about them. Thank you very much. 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:29.000 Mike is awake and he tells her what to do as punishment for cumming without permission. 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:30.000 So, she joins the rest of the band for breakfast and immediately super pisses off Carter by having a little spat with him, where she called him old, that was not the best moment of her life 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:32.000 I didn’t! (she says while laughing) I didn’t. 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:34.000 Literally bad idea. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.000 She was super sorry, super quickly, as Mike appeared and reprimanded her and then got amused as she Dommed herself. 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.000 (Nicole scoffs) Right, and then she was sent to the bus. Jay was sent after her to complete her first punishment, which was super embarrassing, but he was so lovely, so that was all good. 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:38.000 She was banished to the front of the bus thanks to her spat with Carter, and then, as she chats with the bus driver, she's finally called back for drinking games with the water Aqua Dooooom! 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:39.000 Aqua Dooooom!(Nicole giggles) 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:41.000 Many revelations were had about sexual experiences, and Nicole got overwhelmed again and went to hide in her bunk, but before that she fell flat on her face, as she always does, making it seem like she was drunk even though she wasn't. 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:42.000 And that's where it takes us up to Episode Six - Herding Cats. 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:44.000 Herding Cats 00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:46.000 Ba-da-bing ba-da-boom. 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:48.000 Ba-da-boom. 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:50.000 (both laugh) I just want to say I didn't call Carter old. 00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:51.000 I don't, not exactly. 00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:53.000 Yes, you did 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:55.000 I suppose, it was slightly implied. Okay, I did, I just remembered I did. Okay, 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:57.000 Implied. 00:00:58.000 --> 00:00:59.000 I tried to defend myself badly. Okay. 00:00:59.000 --> 00:01:02.000 (Podcast theme music plays – Rat Head by Big Mouse Tree House) So now let's herd some cats. 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:04.000 (Both chuckle) I felt the wheels of the bus hit gravel as we arrived at the Paris-Bercy Arena at around three o’clock. After my moment of overwhelm, I accidently fell asleep and was just waking up from my nap. I could see the side of the big stadium. I could see a huge white wall where we were parked behind it. 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.000 Melissa walked onto the bus the moment the bus came to a standstill. 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:06.000 “Hey, everyone” she called to the back of the bus. “Rendez-vous with the venue’s stage manager in ten minutes, then we’ll meet in the green room in half an hour”. 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:07.000 I was glad to see how professional and punctual they were. They came quickly up the hallway and followed Melissa out of the bus. Mike grabbed my arm as he passed and dragged me after him. 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.000 (both laugh a little) 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:10.000 Always necessary 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:13.000 Yep We hurried over the gravel to a black door at the back of the stadium where we met up with Andrew Stevens, Billy and the rest of the security team. 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:14.000 We went through the black door that led us down a hallway. The hallway spread into a big, spacious area that was already swarming with technical teams, assistants, managers and guests who had clearance. 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:15.000 “The crew are going straight to the stage to finish setting up and then do the sound check once everything’s ready”, Andrew informed the band. 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:16.000 Turning left down another short hallway, I saw the back of the stage. 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:17.000 “We’ll meet the stage manager, uh—“, Andrew started, then glanced at Melissa. 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:18.000 “Sophie”. 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:20.000 “Yes, Sophie”, Andrew continued, “we’ll meet her in the

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left wings of the stage in five minutes. Where’s Jay?” At his words, I realised that Jason wasn’t with the group. 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.000 “Jason!” Andrew called down the hallway. 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:22.000 “Yo?” Jason came jogging over from where he was talking to a tiny blonde girl wearing nothing but a crop-top and cut-off jeans. 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:23.000 “Stop messing around”, Andrew told him. “You’ll have time for that later-““Sorry, chief”, he grinned and saluted Andrew. 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:24.000 “It’s herding cats with these two”, Billy teased, nodding at Jason and me. 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.000 (Nicole having chuckled her way through Andrew and Jasons exchange is joined by Arabella) 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:27.000 So true, so true. 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.000 (Not sure why I repeat everything all the time. Sorry to all that it annoys!) 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:30.000 Andrew just shook his head and repeated what he had just said about meeting with the stage manager. 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.000 To the left of the stage, we were met by the stage manager. She was a French woman of about thirty-five. She was wearing a tight-fitting red button-up top and a black barrel skirt that hugged her lean thighs. 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:33.000 Juicy She was wearing shiny black heels that clicked as she walked. She came to a standstill in front of us with a tablet. 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:34.000 “Bonjour”, she said and flashed a smile. “I am Sophie, the head stage manager tonight. Welcome to Paris-Bercy. I hope your trip was pleasant”. 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.000 She stood with her hand outstretched to Andrew. He shook her hand politely and greeted her French. 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:36.000 Bless his heart 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:38.000 I know 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:41.000 “This is the band”, Melissa told Sophie, waving her hand towards the band. “Noah, Mike, Zander, Jason and Carter-““It’s lovely to meet you in person”, Andrew said politely. “Thank you for all your hard work”. 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:42.000 “You’re very welcome, Mr. Stevens”. 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:43.000 “Let me show you around”, Sophie offered, and we started walking back around the stage. 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:44.000 She pointed out the bar and toilets before showing the way to the greenroom. We followed her away from the stage down another long hallway. 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:45.000 “Bonjour”, Sophie suddenly greeted me. “I’m now sure who everyone is except for you”. 00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:46.000 “Bonjour, Sophie”, I greeted her back, then I continued in French. “I’m a guest of the band”. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:48.000 “What’s your name?”“Nicole”. 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:49.000 Andrew took a step forward, frowning at me. “I didn’t know you spoke French”. 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:50.000 “Well, I live in France-““I didn’t know that either”, Andrew smiled. “There’s still a lot of tour left”. 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:51.000 “Are you someone’s partner?” she asked in French. 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:54.000 “No”, I replied. “I’m-““Sibling?” I laughed. “Oh, definitely not. I’m not sure what I would say I am,”(Both chuckle) 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:56.000 Noooo 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:58.000 “I’m not sure what I would say I am, I’m just with the band”. 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:00.000 She nodded. “I think I understand”, she smiled, “are you with many bands?”“No, just this one”. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.000 “So, you are single?” she asked. 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:02.000 “Not exactly”. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:03.000 “Shame”, she winked. 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:06.000 Oh(Arabella huh huh hmmmm’s)“Could you two not speak French”, Mike complained. 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.000 “If you prefer”, I responded, and stopped speaking at all. 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:09.000 (Arabella scoffs a laugh) Sophie led us into a luxurious green room with a dressing room attached. It had off-white walls and black leather sofas. It looked classy. The guys sat down on the sofas. Sophie presented the greenroom to the band, showing them that everything was done according to their Rider. 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:10.000 “If you need anything else, or anything last minute, do not hesitate to ask”, Sophie told everyone. “Any contact details you need are in the book on the table. You can always send Nicole to come find me in my office”. She winked at me again and left with a smile. 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:11.000 The moment she left the room with Andrew and Billy, the band all started commenting on how pretty she was. 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:14.000 “Guys, I hate to break this to you”, I said, loving that I could break it to them,(Arabella laughs)“but I don’t think she swings your way”. 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:15.000 “What d’you mean?” Carter asked sourly. 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:16.000 Like, like no one, like, he's like I don't understand what that means. Everyone swings my way. 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:17.000 (Arabella and Nicole laugh) 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:18.000 Everybody! Literally there is not a single human ever. 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:20.000 “I’m ninety percent sure she’s lesbian”, I told them. 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:21.000 “How could you know?” Noah asked me, curiously. 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:22.000 “Besides the fact that she didn’t seem at all flustered in the presence of five of the hottest men on the planet”, I spelled out for them. 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:24.000 (Arabella chuckles)“She could just be very professional”, Mike suggested. 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:25.000 “Besides that, she was very flirty with me, and winked at me twice”, I told him, proudly. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:27.000 Ner ner na ner nerrrr 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:30.000 Mehh meh“She could be bi”, Zander added. 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:31.000 “Speaking of bi”, Mike said, seriously, “you—” He pointed at me, “I don’t care who flirts with you, no sleeping with any crew, ours or theirs”. 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:33.000 (Arabella chuckles) I rolled my eyes. “I know the rules, even though I think their

dumb”. 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:35.000 (Arabella cackles along with Nicole)“We abide by those rules, so you abide by those rules”. 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000 “Is the crew rule because one of you slept with the Miller Brothers?” I asked, tongue-in-cheek. 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:38.000 (Both giggle)“Find something to do”, Mike said over the laughter of the rest of the band. 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:39.000 And over the laughter of Bella too obviously 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:41.000 Obviously, me too, yeah. 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:44.000 “Sorry, I’m not sure I heard you correctly”, I smiled, “did you say something, or someone?”“If you don’t stop this instant”, Mike threatened, “I will tie you to a chair in the corner of the room”. 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.000 “Oh”, I chuckled, “and?”“And nothing”, he said, seriously. “You’ll sit here by yourself until the show’s over”. 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:48.000 “Okay, okay”, I relented, “shutting up now”. I sat down on the sofa next to Noah. “So, what happens now?”“We wait”, Noah said. “Until it’s time to warm-up”. 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:50.000 “And what do you usually do?”“Depends”, Jason said. “Chat, eat, hydrate, play music-whatever”. 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:52.000 “Speaking of hydrating”, I said, “could I have like three litres of water?” Oh gosh, that was American as fuck, but I'll be fine 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:54.000 Excessive much 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:56.000 Sorry. 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:57.000 Yeah, three litres of water, please. 00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:58.000 “Cold water in the fridge”, Noah said helpfully. “Room temperature next to it”. 00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:59.000 “Didn’t you have enough water on the bus?” Jason asked as I walked over to the fridge. 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.000 “Yes, but I’m prone to urine infections when I have a lot of sex”, I answered bluntly, “so I need to drink more water the usual”. 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:01.000 “Weakling”, Carter said. 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.000 (Arabella snorts a laugh) I was about to retort but Mike glowered at me. 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:05.000 “So could on that note, can I go to the toilet? And then maybe have a look around?”“Yes”, Mike agreed, “but do not bother anyone who’s working and don’t tell anyone what you’re doing here-““Of course-agreement and all that”, I said. “I have self-control”. 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:07.000 (Arabella scoffs)“Sure”, he said, unconvinced. 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:09.000 Yeah 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:11.000 Thanks, Bella, seriously. 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.000 Yeah 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:15.000 Thank you, Bella 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:18.000 Yeah (Cackling) I know you far too well 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:21.000 I do have self-control, I just don't have it around The Band(Nicole giggles) 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:23.000 Or other people. 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:27.000 What? No, I, come on now. Let's be serious, okay, not around everybody, but around people(Arabella scoffs again) when it matters. 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:29.000 Some people. 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:31.000 I have it when it matters. 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:34.000 I left the room(Arabella laughs) before we continue this. 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:35.000 I left the room, quickly and walked back up the hallway to the big area where everyone was busy setting up for the show. I peered around the wings. There were a couple of people still setting the tech up on the stage or tweaking something last minute. 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:36.000 One of the band’s songs were playing over the speakers. 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:37.000 I noted four dancers on the stage, clearly doing a last-minute rehearsal before the show. I watched them curiously until I recognised the dancer in the middle, second from the right of the stage. 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:38.000 “Holy shit!” I exclaimed, out loud. It was my best friend, Bella. 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:40.000 Tah dahhhh! 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:42.000 Why wouldn’t she tell me?! She knows I’m in France. 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:43.000 I spoke to her only three days ago as she couldn’t make it to the festival due to her dancing career. And here she is, on the stage rehearsing for the band’s gig. 00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:44.000 The song ended and the four dancers towel dried their faces and started walking off the stage. Bella was exiting stage right so I started running around the back of the stage to get to her before she left. 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.000 As I came around the side, she accepted some water from the crew in the wings and took a sip. 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:46.000 “Bella!” I shouted, running towards her. 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:47.000 She spat the water onto the floor in surprise. 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:49.000 “Nicky, what the fuck?” 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:51.000 When I reached her, we hugged each other for a good half a minute. 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:52.000 “What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded of her. 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:54.000 “I’m working”, “What the hell are you doing here?” 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:57.000 “What does that mean?” 00:03:58.000 --> 00:03:59.000 “I’ll explain”, I said. “Do you have some time?” 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.000 “Yeah, I’m not on until halfway through the set”. 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:03.000 “Yeah, about that…you could’ve told me your gig was dancing for The fucking Band!”. 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:05.000 “I tried to!” “I’ve been trying to tell you for the last two days but all the messages I sent you just delivered with zero replies. Your phone just rang and rang or went straight to voicemail. I nearly sent out a search and rescue team for you but then I thought, you probably lost your phone”. 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:07.000 “Oh, shit”, I said, “sorry. I’ve really not been paying attention to my phone”. 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:09.000 “So, who’s bloody fault is it then? They gave me a spare backstage pass and I wanted to give it to you but no answer…for days”. 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:11.000 I laughed. “Don’t worry, that won’t be necessary”. 00:04:12.000

--> 00:04:13.000 “Clearly”, “it’s so good to see you. But how the hell did you manage to get backstage?” 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:15.000 “It’s kind of a long story and ten to one, you’re not going to believe me”, I told her. 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:17.000 “Try me”, she said “but if it’s going to be a long story, give me fifteen minutes to go find out what time exactly I should be where and then we can go grab a quick drink at the backstage bar”. 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:19.000 “Sounds perfect”, I told her. “I’ll wait for you here”. 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:20.000 She started walking in the other direction and when she disappeared, I sat down against the wall to wait. 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:21.000 “Hey, who are you?” a male voice asked suddenly. 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:22.000 I looked up to see a young guy of about twenty-five, dressed in a black jean and a Nirvana t-shirt. I could see his lanyard around his neck, but it was inside his t-shirt. He was tall and lean with straight ash blonde hair and blue eyes. 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:23.000 “I’m Nicole”, I replied. 00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:28.000 “Okay-“he frowned. “And who’s Nicole?” I jumped up. “Look, I’ve got a backstage pass”. I showed him the pass around my neck. “See, all access?”“So that makes you a girlfriend of the band?” Unwilling to answer, I shook my head. “Who are you?”“Timothy Carter”, he said and held out one hand. “Assistant stage manager”. 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:29.000 “Nice to meet you”, I said, shaking his hand. 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:30.000 “Want a tour of the stage?” he offered. 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:32.000 “I’m actually waiting for my friend”, I apologised. “Raincheck?”“It’ll take five minutes”. 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:33.000 “Sure”. I picked up on his English accent. I followed him onto the stage and stared out over the auditorium. It was going to be a big show, at 20 000 capacity. I wished I could perform for such a big audience one day. I walked to the edge of the stage and stared out, pretending that everyone was cheering for me for at that moment. 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.000 “Over here!” 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:36.000 (Mock chants) Nicole, Nicole, Nicole!(Both laugh) 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:38.000 Thanks Bella 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:40.000 Always 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:42.000 “Over here!” Timothy called. 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:43.000 I walked to where he was standing a little further upstage. 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:44.000 “So, what are you doing here?” he asked, “I know you’re not crew”. 00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:46.000 “How do you know that?”“Wrong pass”, he smiled. 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:47.000 I saw Jacob watching me curiously from the wings. 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:48.000 “So, what are you doing here?” he pried. 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:49.000 “I’m-uh-touring with the band”. 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:50.000 “A groupie?” he asked, looking up at me from where he was grouched on the floor. 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:52.000 “No”, I replied, defensively. “Do those even exist anymore?”“You’d be surprised”, he responded. “It’s just that very few people surprise me”. 00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:54.000 “What d’you mean?”“Well,”. He stuffed his hands in his pocket. “When there’s a pretty girl hanging around with a band-the chances are she’s sleeping with them. People are predictable”. He winked at me. 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:55.000 “I’m thirty-three”, I said, a little offended by his demeaning attitude. “Hardly a girl. And I am here for very respectable reasons”. 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:57.000 (Arabella chuckles) He smiled. 00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:58.000 Okay 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:00.000 Overstatement much 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:02.000 Very respect, very respectable reasons. 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:04.000 He smiled. “That’s good news. So, what do you do here then?”“I’m helping with album promotion”. 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:07.000 “Awesome”, he said, “but how much do they need? I mean, it’s The Band—”“Even Beyoncé uses marketing”, I reminded him, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. “I’m just assisting their manager”, I invented wildly. “So how long have you been doing this?”“Stage managing?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “About three years. I studied it before”. 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:09.000 “D’you like it?”“Sure”, he said, “but what I really want to do is be head stage manager”. 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:10.000 “Is there a lot of money in this kind of stuff?” I wondered. 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:11.000 “I make sixty a year on average”. 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:12.000 “Sixty thousand?” I demanded. 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:13.000 “Yup”. He briefly checked the back of the amps. 00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:14.000 “Is that Zander’s?” I asked, just to make conversation and pointing towards the familiar black, white and red striped guitar. Of course, I knew it was. 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.000 “Shouldn’t you know that Promo-girl?” he asked, looking up at me from where he was crouched on the floor. 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:16.000 “I do know”, I admitted, “I just didn’t know what to say”. 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:17.000 “Are you busy right now?” he asked. 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:18.000 “I’m going to have a drink with my best friend in the backstage bar”, I told him. 00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:19.000 “Let’s meet her there”. 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:20.000 “I don’t know”, I hesitated, “she said to wait on the side of the stage”. 00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:21.000 “Look, she’ll figure it out”, he pressed. “Come on”. 00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:23.000 (Theme music plays signalling a break) The backstage bar had only three people in it. It took us no time at all to find a seat, the far left nearest the windows. 00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:24.000 The server appeared within seconds. 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:25.000 “How may I serve you?” he asked in French. 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:27.000 “A glass of white wine, please”, I replied in French. “And?” I looked at Timothy. 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:28.000 “A beer”. 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:29.000 “And a beer”, I told the server. “Merci”. 00:05:29.000 -->

00:05:30.000 The server left to get our drinks. 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:31.000 “French?” Timothy asked. 00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:33.000 “Yup”, I said. “I live here. And you, England?” He smiled. “Yeah, from Essex but I studied in London and now mostly work there, or you know, on the road”. 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:35.000 “I’m originally from South-Africa”, I told him. “I used to live in England, a bit everywhere but for a long time in Loughton. Where in London do you live now?”“Finchley”. 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:36.000 “Good area”, I approved. “Lots of great gigs available there”. 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:37.000 “So, you’re a musician?” he said, smiling as though he’d finally figured me out. 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:38.000 I nodded. “And writer. And also, often teacher”. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:39.000 “I really don’t understand what you’re doing here”, he said, frowning. 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:40.000 I shrugged. “Just think of the possibilities that’ll open up for me if I’ve got ‘Assisted on tour with The Band’ on my CV”. 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:41.000 He laughed. “Fair enough”. 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:42.000 “Especially if my employer’s a fan”. 00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:43.000 The server brought our drinks. 00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:44.000 “Merci”, I told him. 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:46.000 “Anything else?”“No, thank you”. 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:50.000 “So how is it?”“What?” He rolled his eyes. “Touring with The Band?”“Intimidating”. 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:52.000 “What are they like?”“Loud”, I said, looking down at my glass of wine. 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:53.000 “I can imagine”. 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.000 “I don’t know how much I can tell you before I get in trouble”, I said. “I mean I don’t know you at all.”“They do a background check on their crew...” he said, “if that helps”. 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:56.000 I watched Timothy for a long time. I believed him. There was no way this guy was anything but a kid on a lucky break. 00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:58.000 (Arabella groans a little)“Well, Noah is a real nice guy, honestly”, I said. 00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:00.000 “That’s the bassist, right?”“Right”, I said. “Carter is-well, we don’t get on”. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:02.000 “Why not?” I sighed. “He thinks I’m bad news for the band”, I said, simply. 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:03.000 “Well, they must be distracted”, Timothy said with a wink. “I see where he’s coming from”. 00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:05.000 “No”, I said, seriously. “Really you can’t. He dislikes me and won’t let me forget it.”“Wow”, he said. “So, Carter’s a dick”. 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:06.000 I took a breath. “A bit…like, at least to me”. I blushed. “Jason, the drummer is Jason-out of his mind, but a genius. To be honest, I can’t think of a single bad thing to say about him—except his unpredictability can make him a little scary”. 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:08.000 Timothy frowned. “Is it true he does a crap-load of coke?”“Uh—um...I haven’t seen it”, I said. “I’m pretty sure he quit coke though”. 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:10.000 “Right...”“Zander is funny as hell and quite sweet”, I said, “but he can come across as arrogant”. 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:11.000 Timothy nodded and took a couple of swigs of beer. 00:06:11.000 --> 00:06:12.000 “So, what about the infamous Mike Solomon?” he asked, interestedly. 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:13.000 I cringed. 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:14.000 I was hoping he wouldn’t ask about him. 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:16.000 “Uh-““Does he really have a temper problem as everyone says?”“Sort of”. 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:18.000 “What does that mean?”“He can be hot-headed and competitive”, I said. “But it’s protective”. 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:19.000 “Hmmm”. He looked thoughtful. “So far it doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying it”. 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:20.000 “I am, honestly”, I said, realising I said mostly negative stuff. “I mean they are amazing musicians-geniuses really”. 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:21.000 “But basically, the lead singer is aggressive and controlling, the lead guitarist is pompous, the rhythm guitarist is a dick, the drummer’s—““You’re making it sound so much worse than I meant it to”, I cut across him. “Besides I just think of the reward at the end of it”. 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:23.000 “Which is?”“A lot of contacts”. 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:24.000 He nodded. 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:25.000 “So, none have them have tried to have sex with you?” he asked, frowning. 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:26.000 “What?” I asked, alarmed. 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:30.000 “Have none of them come on to you?”“No”,(Arabella chuckles) I said, trying to look as shocked as possible. “I mean—they’re not like that. They’re professionals”. 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:31.000 He nodded, thoughtfully. 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:33.000 “Nicky,” 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:35.000 Bella called from across the bar. 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:37.000 “What the hell!” 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:39.000 I drained the last of my wine and glanced down at my watch. 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:41.000 25“Dammit!” I jumped up from the table. “I need to go”. 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:42.000 “I’ll pay”, Timothy offered. “You go”. 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:43.000 “Thank you”, I said, quickly and hurried over to Bella. 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.000 “Didn’t we say meet next to the stage?” 00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:47.000 “Yes, I’m sorry”, I apologised. “He insisted”. 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:49.000 “You really need to get your phone charged”, “It’s frustrating not to get a hold of you”. 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:51.000 “Promise first thing when we get back”. 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:52.000 Timothy walked past us. “Have a good show, Arabella”. He exited the bar without waiting for a response. 00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.000 “Why were you drinking with Timothy Carter?” 00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:56.000 “He offered to show me the stage”, I told her. 00:06:57.000 --> 00:06:58.000 “That prick doesn’t have stage access”, 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:01.000 “Absolutely not”, , “he’s an annoying as fuck journalist for NME”. 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:03.000

“Oh, piss”, I said, letting my head fall into my hands. 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:05.000 “Right, so you have a lot of explaining to do”, 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:07.000 She dragged me to the nearest open table. Over drinks, I recalled everything that had happened the last few days and she listened mostly with her mouth wide open. 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:09.000 “Are you telling me you told Timothy you’re sleeping with Mike?” 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:12.000 “Nicky”, 00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:14.000 “But-but I did lie about what I was doing-“, I said, “I told him I’m Andrew’s assistant”. 00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:16.000 “That’s not going to look good either”, 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:18.000 “I know”, I moaned, “but please don’t say anything. Mike will flay me alive or worse, I’ll get kicked off the tour”. 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:20.000 “I won’t say anything”,. “But this could come back and bite you in the arse very nastily”. 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:22.000 “I’ve learned the lesson”, I told her. “For sure”. 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:24.000 “Good”, “I can’t believe you’re on tour with The Band and sleeping with Mike. What even is life!” 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:26.000 “This is fate”, I told her, “That you’re here as well. You have to come on tour with us, please”. 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:28.000 “I’m booked to dance on tour with The Band so it would be very convenient”,. “But will they just let me come on the bus?” 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:31.000 “I’m sure you’ll love it”. 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:33.000 “Seriously though”, I told her. “I’ll ask and I’m sure they’ll allow it. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity”. 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:35.000 “That it is”, “I’ll see if I can wiggle on my side as well. Someone in the agency may know Andrew”. 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:37.000 “Good idea”, I grinned. 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:40.000 “True”, I said, “but it’s definitely worth trying”. 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:42.000 “Right, we should get going”, “I need to go warm-up and I can’t drink too much before a show unless I want to take a nose-dive off the stage”. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:43.000 (Both giggle) 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:46.000 I can just imagine you like aaaggghhhhhh(Both burst out laughing) biggest freaking gig dancing for your favourite band and you get drunk and you're like whooooaaaa. 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:48.000 (Arabella makes a wololoololob then splat sound) Ruined. 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:50.000 So bad, that would be so bad. 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:54.000 No, but seriously“We wouldn’t want that”(Nicole chuckles) 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:56.000 No, no, we wouldn't. 00:07:56.000 --> 00:07:57.000 Please join us next week for episode seven. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:01.000 Hell Fucking No, It's Not Foreplay!(Both laugh) We're pretty proud of that one. 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:03.000 We are, we kind of love it. 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:05.000 If you've enjoyed what we do here, please consider sharing it with your friends and the family that you think it's appropriate to share it with. Please give us a rating. We would so appreciate your support; in whatever capacity you can give. 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:07.000 Yes, we love you. We want to keep sharing all of these stories with you and we really hope you're enjoying it. So, share and subscribe people! 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:09.000 Woohoo. 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.000 (Theme music plays out with lyrics)“…. Hanging on to everything you said. 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:13.000 And everything you did was so wonderful! So unbelievable! What is this world without you? 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:14.000 We’re hanging on to what you were, even if it hurts!...”

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