TRANSCRIPT 🔗
00:00:08
Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mamma Mia podcast.
00:00:19
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to Unleashed, the podcast for Gen X women who need a laugh.
00:00:24
Speaker 3: If you ever got a disposable.
00:00:26
Speaker 2: Camera developed and had to wait a full week, Just to discover half the photos were your own thumb. Welcome.
00:00:33
Speaker 3: You found your people. So who's on the couch today? I'm Ginny Mansberg.
00:00:36
Speaker 1: I'm Sally Hepworth.
00:00:38
Speaker 3: I'm Annalise Todd. You might have heard me.
00:00:40
Speaker 2: So you are.
00:00:40
Speaker 3: You are staging a coup, basically.
00:00:42
Speaker 1: Yeah. Is Kath's job in crisis here? Do we need to worry about her?
00:00:47
Speaker 3: It's definitely not. She will be back next week. I've got mixed feelings. I actually am quite enjoying the whole Annalise era.
00:00:53
Speaker 1: We're enjoying it very much. We do love Kath, though.
00:00:55
Speaker 3: We do love Kath.
00:00:56
Speaker 1: I feel very torn.
00:00:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too.
00:00:57
Speaker 2: So wherever you're listening, unclench your jaw, clench your pelvic floor, and get ready to unleash.
00:01:04
Speaker 3: All right, let's get into it.
00:01:06
Speaker 1: Okay, first, a quick game before we start. I have heard on the street some very distressing news to me, and that is that makeup apparently has got a use-by date.
00:01:18
Speaker 2: Now.
00:01:19
Speaker 1: I am a person who currently I have all my makeup in a travelling makeup bag and my bronzer has cracked all over the bottom of the bag, is all over everything. And so sometimes I just look in the mirror and I've got like a brown schmear across my face and, you know, it blends a little bit with my lipstick and everything. Obviously, given that information, I'm not one to, you know, go, oh, it's been three months since I bought my mascara. Perhaps I'll throw it out. We have an actual legitimate real life doctor here in Dr. Ginny Mansberg. Do you want to walk us through if we should be worried and if I have got any contagious diseases because of this makeup crisis?
00:02:01
Speaker 2: And maybe like break it down into different things because like eyeshadow versus mascara versus lipstick, like what.
00:02:08
Speaker 3: Are the different boundaries?
00:02:10
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:02:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, so basically you're infested, Sally, and no, no, no.
00:02:14
Speaker 1: I did think so.
00:02:14
Speaker 2: No. Because my makeup's 100 years old as well.
00:02:18
Speaker 3: Me too.
00:02:18
Speaker 2: At least.
00:02:19
Speaker 3: Me too. Like three months, seriously?
00:02:22
Speaker 1: Like years old.
00:02:22
Speaker 3: Who's got that much money? That's outrageous.
00:02:24
Speaker 2: There is the theoretical answer, which is probably there is bacteria all over your mascara, all over that bronzer, all over everything, and then the real world of what it actually does to you, which if you're not immune compromised, if you don't have like major
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issues with your eye, probably unlikely to be a problem.
00:02:43
Speaker 3: I think if you can't get the mascara out because it's basically solid.
00:02:46
Speaker 1: Congealed.
00:02:47
Speaker 2: You probably want to chuck it out. I do get suspicious that that whole three month thing is like a bit of a money making machine. Like to tell you that you've only got three months worth of Like a cheek bronzer, please.
00:03:01
Speaker 3: Like, really?
00:03:01
Speaker 1: And what's at risk? Like, are we talking blindness or are we talking conjunctivitis? You know, like I want to know what we're actually worried about.
00:03:08
Speaker 3: Or like skin, like pimples and things like that, I guess.
00:03:09
Speaker 1: Yes, a pimple or rash.
00:03:10
Speaker 3: Pimples are caused by the cutibacterium acnes. And not by the... I love it when you talk medical talk.
00:03:16
Speaker 2: Not by the 50-year-old bronzer that you've smeared on your cheek. Or not the staphylococcus aureus, which is probably infesting all of your makeup.
00:03:25
Speaker 3: None of us are sterile, right? We are covered. We are infested with bacteria all over us.
00:03:30
Speaker 2: Some of them good, some of them bad. We've got yeast, we've got inside our lungs, inside our bladders. We used to think that there were no bacteria except for like in a really, really bad place.
00:03:41
Speaker 3: And you needed antibiotics.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, but now we kind of know bacteria are everywhere and the only issue is how damaging are they to you?
00:03:50
Speaker 3: I would say that if you share a lipstick with someone who's got an active cold sore, that's high risk. I would not be doing that.
00:03:57
Speaker 2: And should you throw it out after the cold sore? Because I'm kind of torn about that. Or could you just maybe smear a bit off and carry on the next week? I'd probably, like, live hard and loose and just do the whole, like, I would not only chop a bit off. I'd probably chuck it in the freezer for, like, 24 hours and see if I could sort of nuke some of the stuff.
00:04:16
Speaker 3: Off that way. That's a great tip. This is not, like, from an actual lab.
00:04:21
Speaker 2: Like, can we just say this is from– Complete lack of studies because there are no studies done in this stuff. So this is just my opinion here. So if anyone has ever gone and got a pimple after using somebody else's foundation, can you just not all come for me? But it just doesn't theoretically stack up. I am totally fine with keeping your stuff beyond use by date.
00:04:44
Speaker 1: And Ginny puts her money where her mouth is because I've actually borrowed her lip gloss before.
00:04:49
Speaker 3: You have.
00:04:50
Speaker 1: And I did assure you, which is true, that I don't come from a cold sore family, but And you're quite fastidious, like take the doctor aside. You're a very clean person.
00:04:57
Speaker 3: I have issues in the wrong direction, me and Grace Lamb.
00:05:01
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:05:01
Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to take that freezer thing because I am a cold sore person.
00:05:04
Speaker 2: So just like when you put someone in the freezer, you write their name down.
00:05:08
Speaker 3: You could cure your cold sore. Can you keep us posted on that?
00:05:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be good to know. It would be a cold sore. Is that a good one?
00:05:18
Speaker 3: That was a great one.
00:05:19
Speaker 1: So good.
00:05:31
Speaker 2: Okay, so you now know that I have issues with being a clean freak, but they're selective.
00:05:37
Speaker 3: I'm very selective about what I'm really clean about.
00:05:39
Speaker 2: And one of the things that I'm absolutely not OCD about is dogs. Yeah.
00:05:44
Speaker 3: I love them.
00:05:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:05:45
Speaker 3: I currently have one. I have usually had two.
00:05:48
Speaker 1: What kind of dog have you got?
00:05:50
Speaker 2: I have a little fluffy doodle, also known as an eastern suburbs terrier. Definitely not your 80-kilo bulldog or pit.
00:05:57
Speaker 3: Bull or anything like that. Not that I don't love those. I love all dogs.
00:06:00
Speaker 2: I love cats and guinea pigs and rabbits and the whole lot. But I just got back from a holiday in Europe.
00:06:06
Speaker 3: Sorry, guys. Thoughts and prayers.
00:06:07
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I was just really aware of the fact that everywhere I go, I need to leave Izzy at home and feel really guilty as she just looks at me as I'm like walking out the door.
00:06:19
Speaker 3: Then in Europe, the dogs come everywhere.
00:06:22
Speaker 2: Like they are in the cafes, they're in the restaurants, they're on the planes, they're on the trains.
00:06:27
Speaker 3: They're in the buses.
00:06:29
Speaker 2: And I have started to think, what is wrong with Australia that we cannot get on board with our dogs being more in our lives? Sally, this is sadly not an issue for you anymore because you lost your beautiful family member.
00:06:44
Speaker 1: But look, I am a dog lover, right? I'm absolutely, I love seeing dogs all around. Sometimes, even though I do not have my dog anymore, I will go to the dog park just to watch them run around because they bring me joy. I have a friend who is a psychologist who has recommended several of her patients, clients, whatever they're called, get a dog to help them out of a long-term depression. And then she invites them to bring their dogs into the therapy sessions. And she really believes that they have cured these clients. However, I have experienced what you've experienced in America, which I think is just as I don't want to say just as bad. I had an experience last year when I was in New York for a book tour and I met up with another lovely author in a very cool cocktail bar with booths and the like velvet chairs and whatever. I arrived and his bulldog was sitting on the chair next to me having some kind of doggy margarita. And I was like, I thought it was cute for a minute and then I was disturbed. I'm
like, I don't need the dog to be sitting in the booth with me.
00:08:01
Speaker 2: Like you're on Sex and the City with the dog having a cocktail.
00:08:04
Speaker 1: It wasn't in my Sex and the City fantasy. I never saw one sitting next to Carrie Bradshaw and Samantha and the gals. I don't think Charlotte would have been a fan.
00:08:13
Speaker 3: What if it was a little fluffy doodle? No, I don't think.
00:08:16
Speaker 1: It was something about it slurping.
00:08:19
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:08:19
Speaker 2: See, this is the issue for me too. I'm not like a really, really big dog person. You know how some people are just so doggy. I have a foster dog, Indiana Margaret.
00:08:29
Speaker 1: Is that the dog's name?
00:08:31
Speaker 3: It is.
00:08:31
Speaker 1: What kind of dog is it?
00:08:32
Speaker 3: Jack Russell Foxy. So she's intense. She's needy. She's anxious as anything. She's hectic. But what I don't like is slobbery dogs. Yeah.
00:08:42
Speaker 2: The ones that come up to you and you've got a nice jean on or a nice pant or a skirt or even worse when they put their little noses up your skirt. Like I don't want a dog's nose up my skirt.
00:08:53
Speaker 3: I don't want your slobber on my nice clothes.
00:08:55
Speaker 2: No.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: And I also, my dog was a rescue, very anxious dog. And to the point where I had to billet her somewhere if I went anywhere for longer than three hours. And she was a lovely dog. So she was very easy to billet. Sometimes my friend would take her to work. It was fine. So a lot of the things like being able to take it into a store, I don't think a food store would be appropriate, but being able to take it inside instead of tied up out the front. On a plane, I can see because she could never have gone underneath, but in a cocktail bar? Like in places that serve food, I just, I don't think I.
00:09:30
Speaker 3: I don't like that. Have you got any kind of boundary hard lines? Oh, look, we have no boundary. I just, yeah, dogs are everywhere.
00:09:37
Speaker 2: And like quite honestly, Izzy's quite keen on having a sneaky tongue patch if I'm not looking.
00:09:43
Speaker 3: She'll stick her tongue in my mouth and I don't even have a boundary there. So that's just pathetic.
00:09:47
Speaker 1: But what about the Staphylococcus aurelius?
00:09:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, see, I just think they're really good for my immune system. I don't have a compromised one. And I don't have asthma. I don't have any of those immune system issues. I reckon I can thank all my lifelong pet exposure for my excellent immune system.
00:10:04
Speaker 1: So everywhere, if it was up to Ginny, if you were the president of the world, dogs would be allowed everywhere that humans are allowed?
00:10:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, on my lap.
00:10:12
Speaker 2: Well, but then I do think there are some who need a muzzle and also I'm not a fan of the slobber. Like I do have good friends who have those dogs that we're not meant to be getting anymore because they've been bred to have short snouts and then they slobber everywhere.
00:10:27
Speaker 3: But yeah, they are so affectionate. They put their head on your lap and I'm like, thank you. It's like snail mucin. Yeah. Yes. I need not.
00:10:36
Speaker 2: All right, so we're going to be seeing Ginny at the cocktail bar having a margie with a dog. Yeah.
00:10:41
Speaker 1: Would you share your margie with the dog?
00:10:44
Speaker 3: That's a nod. I'm sorry. I'm Grace.
00:10:48
Speaker 2: So Grace Lamb is just like throwing up into the nearest pop land.
00:10:51
Speaker 3: She's not here right now. She'd be hitting me basically.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: Have you guys heard of the October effect?
00:11:09
Speaker 3: No.
00:11:10
Speaker 1: So apparently in October, it's the time where we humans become entirely overwhelmed. It's the busiest time of year, or at least the busiest time of year is ahead with all the Christmas things coming. And all the goals that we had set earlier in the year and all of these wonderful things that we had planned to do we're realizing that we haven't in fact done it. And sometimes we are kind of trying to shovel it in to the end of the year as well when it's a very busy time. I have found myself in this particular situation right now. I have got my edits that have come in. And I also had been trying really hard to get my book sent off before I went away because And so I've planned everything that I've been putting off for that last little bit of the year. And now here I am. All of this shit is ahead of me. Three writers festivals. I'm interviewing all of these authors. I've got all the end of year stuff and my daughter's birthday and my mum's 80th. I could list it on and on and I'm starting to panic. And so I'm thinking that I need to create a new me. Yep.
00:12:22
Speaker 2: Clearly.
00:12:22
Speaker 1: The rest of this, I mean, I've been thinking that for 46 years now, but for the rest of the year and also to create some white space next year for 2027, particularly my son is going to be in year 12 next year. I don't really know why that's going to affect me, but everyone seems to want to create space for that. And I just don't want to feel like I've felt this year. I also, my mum is disabled and has been taking up more time And I want to have space for the things that are important. I don't want a call from her or from my son to derail me. So I've been putting up some boundaries in my head so far. I haven't actually said them out loud that I'm hoping is going to create a nice, calm world for me. And my question is, at what point are boundaries a great idea? And at what point do they just make you an arsehole?
00:13:18
Speaker 3: Tell us what your boundaries are. I need to know.
00:13:20
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's very pertinent to what I'm doing this month. So next year I've decided I'm not going to do any writers' festivals.
00:13:26
Speaker 3: Really?
00:13:26
Speaker 1: I know it seems like a weird thing to do since I'm a
writer. Yeah. But no. I'm not going to interview any authors, which makes me a real arsehole because, like, lots of authors interview me. But I'm interviewing seven authors this month.
00:13:38
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a lot. And then you've got to read their whole body of work. Oh, you've got to read seven books.
00:13:41
Speaker 1: Well, I've already read most of the books.
00:13:43
Speaker 2: Right.
00:13:44
Speaker 1: But they're all, they're my friends. Like there are people, you know, like even if I just do my A-list, it's someone every week, I am just pulling back on all of the, I mean, I already don't do anything at the school, right? Like I don't, I'm not the parent rep. I'm not any of those things. But I usually do things like in book week, I'll front up and talk to the kids or I'll do like a Mother's Day talk. I'm not doing any of that.
00:14:07
Speaker 3: Oh, not even for book week?
00:14:10
Speaker 2: No. No.
00:14:11
Speaker 1: Did that cross the line for you?
00:14:12
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean for the children. Think of the children.
00:14:15
Speaker 1: Like I already hate myself, Annalise. Okay, this is not.
00:14:17
Speaker 3: No, no, I'm liking all this. Keep going. I'm not with you here, Annalise.
00:14:22
Speaker 1: I mean, the other thing is next year I'm already doing three book tours that are going to take me out of.
00:14:28
Speaker 3: That sounds horrible.
00:14:29
Speaker 1: I'm pretty much not doing anything. I'm just saying no to everything.
00:14:32
Speaker 3: I think that's fine other than the book week. Really?
00:14:35
Speaker 1: Book week was the crossing of the line for you.
00:14:37
Speaker 3: Well, it was just because it would take like half an hour and it's for the children. But everything else, yeah. I mean, reading seven books in a month, no.
00:14:43
Speaker 1: See, that actually isn't that bad. It's more the things in the middle of the day that derail me because I want white space to write. The thing about writing is there's nothing– Like to look in the diary and say, I've got the whole day to write. That hardly ever happens because there's always like a few meetings, there's a school thing, there's a this, that. And so reading I can do at night, you know, it's more the things that punctuate the day. And it is like a call from mum saying, can you drive me to this appointment at two o'clock? or a parent-teacher interview, or a book week talk that happens in the middle of the day. And yes, you can do it because you're there, right? But then I have to get dressed out of my sweaty old trackie and stop work like half an hour before and think about what I'm going to talk about. And then I don't get back, have my lunch, fold up some laundry, and the day's gone.
00:15:30
Speaker 2: See, what I'm concerned about is the things that you're taking out of your pile and putting a boundary on with the exception of book week, which is just– it would be a hard no from me.
00:15:39
Speaker 3: Absolutely not. But they're all things
that actually bring you joy. Yeah, they are.
00:15:44
Speaker 2: So it's things like, you know, I love interviewing and supporting my friends.
00:15:48
Speaker 1: I do.
00:15:48
Speaker 2: I love– so you're taking those things out in order to make more space for, sorry, laundry and emergency trips to the doctor.
00:15:56
Speaker 1: I don't– that's the– But there's nothing else. Like there's nothing else that I can take out, I don't think.
00:16:02
Speaker 3: What about paying for a cleaner– I have a cleaner.
00:16:06
Speaker 2: Okay, so pay for more because I think the idea that you're going to miss out on something that really brings you joy and makes you feel good about yourself and your role as an established author, you remember what it's like to be on pushing shit uphill and trying to get that first book published or trying to get any sales. You're in a position to really help some of these great writers out and you love it. I do.
00:16:33
Speaker 3: It really brings you joy.
00:16:35
Speaker 2: In order to have space to do the stuff that you feel guilty about or horrible about or that you don't really enjoy, I would say to the teacher, I'm not going to be able to make the parent-teacher interview.
00:16:48
Speaker 3: Can you email me? Stick it through, Claude. What do I need to know?
00:16:51
Speaker 1: Done.
00:16:51
Speaker 2: That's three seconds. I would say, can we get more washing, folding people? Can we hire a driver for mum? Or can we find some other family members to split those jobs with because they're not necessarily things that make your life better. But I would be really sad for you and I'm really worried you're not going to come to Sydney and do Unleashed anymore, which would be catastrophic. That's a hard no from me. But I just don't want you pushing things out of your life that actually are the wrong things.
00:17:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what you're saying. And it is, it's for a period of time because I have been very generous with those things, you know, and I have been, I do interview a lot of authors and I do do all of those things. It's more for a year to prioritise because the things I always feel guilty about are mum and my children. You know, they are the things that kind of go by the wayside. And I feel like I just need to fill my boots with home next year and with family and just push the other stuff off the plate just for a year. And see where that gets me.
00:17:55
Speaker 3: How's it going? Like, how is 2028 going to be any different?
00:18:00
Speaker 1: Well, that's a very good question.
00:18:01
Speaker 3: Like, what if you just said, I'm going to.
00:18:02
Speaker 2: Do three author interviews a year? Unfortunately, I've only got three I'm tapped out for this year, getting quick for next year.
00:18:08
Speaker 1: That's probably serves just as well, actually, because it is more about just having a rule as opposed to, because otherwise things slide. And that's how I found myself with seven this month.
00:18:17
Speaker 3: In a month.
00:18:17
Speaker 1: And if you don't have a kind of rule, then it is harder to control it. And it's just, I think I'm looking for a response because this year has felt like a lot for me. And I feel like no one's getting the best of me. And every time I do anything, I think I owed that person better.
00:18:35
Speaker 2: You know?
00:18:36
Speaker 1: Do you guys feel like that? Like, I feel like I'm failing at everything and I just, I'm looking for an answer.
00:18:40
Speaker 2: A hundred percent of the time, permanently feel like I've got way too much on my plate.
00:18:45
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:18:46
Speaker 2: And I think it's just the state of being a working mother. I think that's just, we all feel like that.
00:18:50
Speaker 1: A working single mother, which is what we've all got in common as well.
00:18:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a working single mum. I recently took my kids home to WA, where I'm from, for the school holidays the first week. And I was working remotely and doing Sydney hours, which was lovely because I could finish.
00:19:06
Speaker 3: Work at three.
00:19:06
Speaker 2: So I still felt that I could see my kids and do things with them in the afternoon and But they were with my mum and my family during the work day. And I was feeling really good about that. And my youngest was like, oh, we wish that you would spend more time with us on this trip. And I just wanted to die. I felt like shot to the heart. But my mum, who is also a single mum, she said, well, if your mum wasn't working... She couldn't pay rent and you'd have nowhere to live.
00:19:34
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:19:35
Speaker 1: It's true, but you don't.
00:19:36
Speaker 3: You're pulled in all these directions.
00:19:38
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:19:39
Speaker 2: And now that we're in November, it's even worse because Christmas will be over in the blink of an eye and people are already talking about 2027.
00:19:48
Speaker 1: And all the things you have to get done by the end of the year.
00:19:50
Speaker 3: Like that's the worst thing. It's because people start talking about Christmas.
00:19:54
Speaker 1: And in Australia, then we've got the school holidays that never end.
00:19:57
Speaker 2: End.
00:19:57
Speaker 1: And so all of a sudden it's like, well, we've got two weeks until, you know, the world ends. Literally. So in conclusion, am I an arsehole?
00:20:07
Speaker 3: Sally, you are the least arsehole person I've ever met in my whole life. Stop it. You are not.
00:20:11
Speaker 2: You're just a normal, busy mum. I reckon every Unleash-er who is listening to us right now can hard, hard, hard relate. There's no one in this office in Mamma Mia who does not feel like you're feeling right now. feel like it's just universal. And we probably need to support the sisterhood to make sure that nobody feels like an asshole and everybody gets that this is just completely normal. And it is, it's hard. It's tough and it gets tougher the sicker your parents are.
00:20:37
Speaker 1: Yeah. I want to know from Unleashes what their boundaries are to protect their mental health in this busy life that we all are living.
00:20:48
Speaker 2: Definitely send us through To Unleashed.show on Instagram.
00:20:52
Speaker 3: We love getting all your messages.
00:20:53
Speaker 1: The more unhinged, the better. Okay, I want to give the Unleashers listening and you, Ginny, a little bit of backstory about my relationship with Annalise. A few years ago, after I got divorced... I got a message land in my DMs.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: From creepy little me.
00:21:26
Speaker 1: It was a sisterhood message from a fellow divorcee who was slightly ahead of me on the road. And it was just a message of solidarity and acknowledgement of the fact that there was joy ahead, which was something that I was just so looking for. I was really in the trenches at the time and looking for a way up. And we went back and forth. I think originally it was quite heartfelt and then it became.
00:21:56
Speaker 2: We became each other's dating coach and emotional support humans.
00:22:00
Speaker 1: Did you?
00:22:00
Speaker 2: For the absolute shit show and sewer that is the singles over 40 scene.
00:22:05
Speaker 1: It was indeed. And in fact, what was funny is that we only met for the first time in person probably six months ago and yet we'd shared some of.
00:22:14
Speaker 3: Our most intimate.
00:22:17
Speaker 3: Details.
00:22:18
Speaker 1: Dating stories. And I think I was messaging Annalise on what I should wear when I went on my first date with Dan.
00:22:24
Speaker 3: No.
00:22:25
Speaker 1: And, you know, there was a lot of back and forth. And I know, you know, a frightening amount about you.
00:22:31
Speaker 3: And me, you.
00:22:32
Speaker 1: Back and forth. So it's lovely. And it's one of those things that really kind of got me through. And I think this is part of the reason that we need other women.
00:22:41
Speaker 3: There is one dating story that I haven't shared with you.
00:22:44
Speaker 2: Oh.
00:22:46
Speaker 3: It's a goodie.
00:22:46
Speaker 2: Probably I think that was the time that I burnt apps. I haven't been back on them.
00:22:50
Speaker 3: Since because of this date.
00:22:52
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:22:52
Speaker 3: Tell us.
00:22:53
Speaker 2: So I'd had also like just a string of ghosting and being stood up and being catfished.
00:22:58
Speaker 3: I think there was like six in a row.
00:23:00
Speaker 1: Wow.
00:23:00
Speaker 3: Flops.
00:23:02
Speaker 2: And I had organised to meet this guy on a Sunday. I was like, I'm actually going to be out with friends at this certain bar. So maybe you could just pop in there. You know, I just like if it's a bit casual. I'd kind of been burnt out. So I was like, I can just have a little, you know, drink with you and my friends will be there, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.
00:23:20
Speaker 1: That's a great idea. So then you don't need to be all dressed up if something doesn't work out.
00:23:25
Speaker 3: And you just, it's a bit less pressure.
00:23:27
Speaker 2: Yeah. The girlfriend that I was going with, she was also single and on apps. And we were talking about this guy and she goes, oh, show me a photo. And so then I showed her and she opened up her dating profile.
00:23:43
Speaker 3: Oh, no.
00:23:43
Speaker 2: And he was messaging her the same day. And he had asked her to meet him at the same bar as me at the same time, like Mrs Doubtfire, you know, that scene where, like, Robin Williams is, like, going between.
00:23:59
Speaker 3: The two dinners.
00:24:00
Speaker 1: Wait.
00:24:01
Speaker 3: Okay. And you were together. Yep. He didn't know. He didn't know that.
00:24:04
Speaker 1: You two knew each other.
00:24:05
Speaker 3: No.
00:24:06
Speaker 1: And so did you meet him?
00:24:07
Speaker 3: He rocked up.
00:24:10
Speaker 2: But in the lead up, I had then obviously, like any self-respecting 2026 storyteller, I started documenting the whole thing.
00:24:17
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:24:18
Speaker 3: And live streaming it to TikTok.
00:24:20
Speaker 1: Oh, you really upped the ante, Annalise.
00:24:22
Speaker 3: I love this for you. And so then he rocks up and to his credit, he didn't run. He saw the two of us.
00:24:29
Speaker 2: He was wearing, you know, those shoes that are like toe shoes. Oh, no.
00:24:35
Speaker 1: I didn't know they had, do you know them?
00:24:37
Speaker 3: Like those running up a mountain kind of hikey.
00:24:40
Speaker 1: Shoes.
00:24:40
Speaker 3: So that was great.
00:24:41
Speaker 1: The gumption of a man who wears those shoes to think he can date two women at once.
00:24:46
Speaker 2: So I guess it would have made him more nimble and quick getting between the two areas. So yeah, so he came up and he said, oh, look, I'm sorry. I just thought, well, you know, it's casual. Like, yeah, I was going to meet you both. Because I was like, what was your.
00:24:58
Speaker 3: Game plan here, dude? Like I was at this point just fascinated.
00:25:01
Speaker 1: Yeah. When he approached, would you and your friend have been like sending out a warm vibe as he approached? Like were you smiling at him or was he walking into the lion's den?
00:25:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a lion's den. It was a gotcha. Got it. Yeah.
00:25:15
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:25:16
Speaker 2: And yeah, so he walked up and I just said, look, you've told me everything that I need to know about you.
00:25:20
Speaker 3: Thank you for coming and saying hello, but peace be with you.
00:25:23
Speaker 2: Walk on.
00:25:24
Speaker 3: And trot off with your little toe shoes up a hill.
00:25:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:25:29
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, but if he wasn't wearing the toe shoes and he had approached and, you know, like I wonder if there was any possible way that that could have worked. I mean, what a story that would be if he showed up and managed to talk his way out of that and pick one of you or both.
00:25:48
Speaker 2: No, no, absolutely not. It was just more
like and obviously I had a huge public jury in the form of TikTok. People are very unkind on this.
00:25:57
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:25:57
Speaker 2: And so many people were in his defence saying, well, you guys hadn't even met. There's no exclusive, like, it's just actually, you know, a smart use of time and being efficient, having two dates going on at the same time.
00:26:11
Speaker 1: Was that women or men saying that or both?
00:26:14
Speaker 3: I think mostly men.
00:26:14
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:16
Speaker 3: But I just went, that's yucky, that's icky.
00:26:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a no from me.
00:26:20
Speaker 3: As well as your shoes, that's a no from me.
00:26:22
Speaker 2: So that was my accidental thruple. That was a deal breaker for me. Ginny, have you got any like dating deal breakers from before your second marriage?
00:26:32
Speaker 3: Just so many deal breakers.
00:26:35
Speaker 2: I would say there are a range of political and racist views that if they got expressed.
00:26:40
Speaker 3: In the first five minutes would be see ya.
00:26:42
Speaker 2: I think there's quite a variety of footwear and clothing situations that could be I need to go to the bathroom now.
00:26:49
Speaker 3: And run out the back door, I think definitely. Body odour. Yeah. Intensive.
00:26:54
Speaker 2: I can't really get past that. I've got the nose that always knows. Somebody who walked in with a packet of cigarettes. That's just an unresurrectable situation for me.
00:27:03
Speaker 3: But I'm just trying to think of what else would be definitely on the list.
00:27:07
Speaker 1: I once had a friend who broke up with a guy who she'd been dating. Like it wasn't just a first date because he was wearing a Terry Towing t-shirt. Yeah.
00:27:16
Speaker 3: Oh, I love those. I love terry-tailing too. Me too. I think they look great.
00:27:20
Speaker 1: I mean, this was going– well, it wasn't. No, it wasn't hot. But that was it for her and she was so– and we were all in great admiration of her certainty, you know, because I feel like a terry-tailing T-shirt– if it was not hot in that era, would have given me pause, but it probably would have taken me three dates to work out if it was a deal breaker or not.
00:27:41
Speaker 2: Well, if he kept wearing the terry toweling every date, that would have been odd.
00:27:45
Speaker 1: And it started to smell.
00:27:47
Speaker 2: What about, because Kath Mahoney has a very large list of no-go areas, including all forms of jewellery on a man are an absolute no.
00:27:55
Speaker 1: And star signs, like they have to be from the right.
00:27:58
Speaker 3: With the right zodiac rising.
00:28:00
Speaker 1: Just to show up.
00:28:01
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:28:02
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that's part of the interview process for her.
00:28:04
Speaker 2: I am funny about– see, shoes, guys' shoes, it's a funny thing for me.
00:28:08
Speaker 3: Like the toe shoes, obviously no.
00:28:10
Speaker 1: Toe shoes are a no.
00:28:10
Speaker
3: Obviously.
00:28:11
Speaker 2: I don't like like those kind of preppy boat shoes with those knots.
00:28:14
Speaker 3: Boat shoes, the big 80s, no. Definitely a no. Or even just like– You know those pointy leather ones?
00:28:20
Speaker 2: Again, no socks with like a short pant that are tight.
00:28:24
Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm funny about shoes. I think shoes are my thing.
00:28:27
Speaker 2: I think though that you could, you know, at a push, you could help him overcome his lack of knowledge and understanding of.
00:28:34
Speaker 3: The footwear industry. That's true.
00:28:36
Speaker 2: It's harder to sort of get past a mental thing like, you know, thinking that you are interested in being part of a thruple without consent.
00:28:45
Speaker 3: That's probably a little different.
00:28:46
Speaker 1: But I would argue that the toe shoe, it's not that they just didn't know any better. Like that is not them wearing a runner with a jean because they just don't understand. He's made an intentional choice there.
00:28:56
Speaker 3: Yeah. A toe shoe is a choice.
00:28:59
Speaker 1: I've almost not gone out with a man because he was too rich and I found that quite intimidating. And I thought, I don't know if I want to go out with a rich person. Like what if... I quite like the humour and the struggle of being ordinary.
00:29:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't relate on that.
00:29:15
Speaker 1: No.
00:29:15
Speaker 3: I don't think I'd rule someone out.
00:29:16
Speaker 2: If someone invited me on their private plane, I don't think I'd say no. I think I could make it work.
00:29:21
Speaker 1: Or if they drive to sports car, I'd be like, no.
00:29:24
Speaker 3: Oh, really? No, I could make a bush word. I said drive, didn't I? That's because you're an author.
00:29:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:29:29
Speaker 3: And authors know things.
00:29:31
Speaker 1: So he left Germany. first, did he and you and your friend continued the drink?
00:29:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, we kicked on and out of Thrupple Man, I have gone viral on TikTok. I've written an article on Mamma Mia and here we are on Unleashed. I really squeezed all the content juice. So thank you, Thruppleman, for your service.
00:29:49
Speaker 3: Squeezed the marrow out of that. Good on you.
00:29:51
Speaker 2: Yes, hopefully you've made many women like Annalise very, very wealthy and successful.
00:29:55
Speaker 1: May he and his toe shoes live happily ever after.
00:29:59
Speaker 3: All right, it's time for Other People's Problems.
00:30:01
Speaker 2: Yes. This is the part of the show where you send us your dilemmas, your questions and your moral grey areas and we very badly attempt to offer very bad slash good advice depending on where you sit.
00:30:15
Speaker 3: And this week's problem comes from Priya.
00:30:17
Speaker 4: I stepped down as class parent rep after years of being the default person and the group chat has not been the same since and several parents have messaged me privately asking me to come back because the new rep isn't doing it properly. I don't really want to go back, but I feel guilty watching it all fall apart when I know that I could fix it in five minutes.
00:30:36
Speaker 3: Do I let it fail or step back in just this once?
00:30:39
Speaker 1: Priya, what do you think, Ginny?
00:30:42
Speaker 3: Oh, step away from the phone. Do not, do not go back.
00:30:47
Speaker 2: If you feel ownership on this, like girlfriend, we need to get you a different hobby, perhaps be an author.
00:30:53
Speaker 3: But like seriously.
00:30:54
Speaker 1: You seem like you'd be the type to be a good parent rep though, like and people would miss it when Ginny stepped away.
00:31:02
Speaker 3: That's Georgie.
00:31:03
Speaker 2: Georgie Page is just definitely forever the parent rep and then the rep of the parent reps at the ultra rep level. I'm definitely so excited for you, Priya, for this new era of your life.
00:31:17
Speaker 3: And if the only way the.
00:31:19
Speaker 2: Group chat can exist is if you are commandeering it for how much.
00:31:23
Speaker 3: Did you say you were getting paid or what is that I hear? Nothing. Sorry, it's going to have to fail. I mean, I can't relate.
00:31:30
Speaker 2: I sent my son to school on the wrong day. the beginning of the year. Like that's how little I know.
00:31:35
Speaker 3: About the school. So I would be a disservice in that role.
00:31:39
Speaker 2: I would really let everyone else fail just because I'm so bad at it. And also I think it's that little bit of like, this is a learning moment for them. You know, it's that resilience training, you know, like almost like you're parenting the school parents to grow and learn.
00:31:55
Speaker 1: I mean, I would argue back on that a little bit because I No one wants to be good at being the class rep, do they? No one wants to be the class rep. It's not like this person, given time and space, will one day be the best class rep ever. I actually think that the person that's doing it is doing fine. An average class rep is better than no one.
00:32:20
Speaker 3: Class rep.
00:32:21
Speaker 1: However, it depends, Priya. I mean, like, if it costs you so little that you could step in and fix it in five minutes, maybe you should go back and do it. Like, are you getting some pride out of it that you're getting all of these taps on the shoulder? Like, are you feeling a bit.
00:32:36
Speaker 3: Superior, Priya, that you're excelling at it? I mean, I don't know.
00:32:40
Speaker 1: Like, maybe step in and go back.
00:32:42
Speaker 2: From the author who doesn't want to do book week at a child's school.
00:32:45
Speaker 1: And I would like to say that I have never been class rep and in fact i didn't even realize that we had a class a class whatsapp for clementine's grade four class and i only got in last term which was explained a lot of things because i really she hasn't showed up with a gold coin on gold coin donation day all year okay so.
00:33:05
Speaker 2: I'm grateful to
them but also priya someone is doing that job like if you stage a coup much like annalise taking out uh poor erstwhile kath mahoney that's the person who is uh being taken out as being the very average class rep might have a few things to say about that.
00:33:23
Speaker 1: But what about the audacity of the parents who are getting in touch with her and saying, pick up the slack for.
00:33:29
Speaker 3: A while while not volunteering their own time? That's exactly right. You do it.
00:33:34
Speaker 1: I mean, good on them and I would have done that myself.
00:33:35
Speaker 3: You do it, Sharon.
00:33:36
Speaker 1: Yes, Sharon. Or just let poor old Vanessa carry on with her half-hearted job because do you know what? Vanessa's got other shit to do.
00:33:45
Speaker 3: She does. Her mum is not well.
00:33:48
Speaker 2: She's interviewing seven authors this month.
00:33:50
Speaker 1: Her dog's been in the bit shop.
00:33:53
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:33:54
Speaker 1: I believe that Priya's getting a little bit of a pat on the shoulder for feeling like she did a job a little bit better.
00:33:59
Speaker 3: She's quietly loving that.
00:34:00
Speaker 1: I think there's a little bit of smugness. And as someone who never gets the right to feel smug because I never do anything good, it's rattling me a bit.
00:34:10
Speaker 3: I'm defending Priya. She's not smug. She's just feeling guilty and shamed. And I reckon you should step away from the guilt.
00:34:16
Speaker 1: Well, you know what? We all feel guilty and shamed.
00:34:18
Speaker 3: Yes. So you just have to sink into it.
00:34:20
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:34:20
Speaker 3: And I say, yeah, let them be bad at being class rep.
00:34:25
Speaker 2: But if any of the Unleashers are listening to this and they want to step in for Priya, they might have been missing it. Maybe their kids, you know, have left school and now at uni. They're thinking those were the good old days, you know. You can go back and relive your life as a grateful parent rep. Could we harness, like, the lonely retired folk of the world to step in and be our class reps? Yes.
00:34:50
Speaker 3: Why confine them to lollipop men and women? Why not give them... There is a service here. There is a service. No one wants to do it. No one does it well.
00:34:59
Speaker 2: I reckon the retirees would be absolutely brilliant at this.
00:35:03
Speaker 1: The efficient ones. The ones who were personal assistants to dentists for a whole year.
00:35:08
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:35:09
Speaker 3: And they are.
00:35:09
Speaker 1: Wielding the power of Dr.
00:35:12
Speaker 3: Ernest's book.
00:35:13
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:35:14
Speaker 1: And now they're going to run it like a machine.
00:35:17
Speaker 3: It's going to be the best parent group chat ever.
00:35:19
Speaker 2: Can you imagine the content is just going to be rich.
00:35:24
Speaker 3: It's going to be so good.
00:35:25
Speaker 2: I think we've just solved the gap of the school parent volunteer crisis.
00:35:30
Speaker 3: You're welcome, Australia.
00:35:31
Speaker 1: Sit back, Priya. Betty's on her way.
00:35:33
Speaker 2: Well, that's all we have time for today.
00:35:41
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me on the Couch gals. That was fun.
00:35:44
Speaker 1: You can fill in for Kath any time. We still love you, Kath, but we love you too, Annalise.
00:35:48
Speaker 3: Thanks, guys. Love you too.
00:35:50
Speaker 2: And before you go back into the world, can we just ask one tiny thing? Share this episode with your friends. Please hit share on the podcast app for us.
00:36:00
Speaker 1: And share it with Betty if she wants to volunteer for the Parent Rep.
00:36:04
Speaker 2: Parent Rep, yeah, and all the other retirees as well. And if you want to contact the show, you can DM us at unleashed.show on Instagram. We read all the messages. We love hearing from you, so keep them coming. We'll be back next Tuesday, or as we like to say.
00:36:20
Speaker 3: See you next Tuesday.
00:36:21
Speaker 2: Until next time, stay unfiltered, stay unreasonable, stay unleashed. Bye. Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on.