Full Transcript for I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Chris Rock, Zendaya, & Druski

our energy. to kind of use it as like, oh, I don't want to do a thing or I don't ever want to be inconvenienced or I don't ever want to be put upon. Like that is also not what it means to be in relationship with one another, right? Like sometimes you do have to be flexible. So I do think it's important to kind of think about the global term of boundaries and understand that sometimes it may be okay to kind of be more flexible in our boundaries that we have with one another. 00:05:55 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. And as I was like reading the story, I was trying to extend like a level of grace too, because it's not a situation that I've been in where it's like, oh, that's not a decision I've ever had to make. 00:06:08 Speaker 3: I was shocked that he told the story. 00:06:10 Speaker 2: I don't know like what prompted that, like, especially for it to have been so long ago, but I would agree with you too. So for our next story, let's talk about Zendaya. So Zendaya sparked a lot of debate after a video showed her remaining seated in while greeting France's first lady, Brigitte Macron, at the Louis Vuitton show during Paris Fashion Week. Zendaya smiled, shook her hand, said it was a pleasure to meet her, but a lot of viewers felt that she should have stood up as a sign of respect. The conversation was all over threads, all over Facebook. 00:06:46 Speaker 3: Cancel Zendaya. 00:06:47 Speaker 2: She doesn't show respect to those where respect is deserved. A lot of people. 00:06:53 Speaker 3: defended her, suggesting. 00:06:55 Speaker 2: That she was probably just caught off guard or questioning whether the interaction, like it was Paris Fashion Week. 00:07:00 Speaker 3: It wasn't like a real estate dinner or something like that. 00:07:04 Speaker 2: So like, was there even that level of formality required? And then there's also this other layered conversation surrounding the tone of criticism being rooted in how Black people have historically been expected to show respect to white people, especially like white people in power. It's just sparked a broader conversation around manners and expectations and generational divides and things of that nature. 00:07:30 Speaker 3: For generations, Black people have had. 00:07:32 Speaker 2: To navigate expectations around deference to White people as a matter of safety or survival or even acceptance. So how do we decide for ourselves what roles really are manners and make sense and what is almost the result of like a power imbalance per se. 00:07:54 Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know, to me, the setting really matters here, right? 00:07:58 Speaker 3: Because I think that. 00:07:59 Speaker 1: I've never been to a state dinner or something that like has that level of formality. But I feel like before you do those kinds of things, there's somebody who's in charge of telling you what the protocol is, right? That prompts you and preps you for like, this is what you do, you know, because I feel like I've seen something where

they're like, don't bow to, you know, like the president. I mean, Obama, not this one. You don't bow to the president. Like, I feel like there are different protocol pieces that somebody like, informs you of when you go to more formal things. And I don't think that that would be happening at a fashion show. And so it likely wasn't something that she was thinking about. So I think that the setting really matters here. I will also caveat this with I am a woman of a certain age from the South. I'm still very big on manners about, you know, you walk into a room, like you are responsible for speaking. And it is really important for me to teach my kids, like how you show up in a room and how do you show respect to adults and like that kind of thing. So that is something that's really important to me. So everybody may not feel like this, but I do think that there are still certain social graces that we are responsible for kind of upholding, even if other people don't do them. Right. Like, because manners aren't, You would hope that they're reciprocal, but it is also just a reflection, I think, of you and how you want to show up in a space as opposed to like, I think somebody is going to offer me something or do something because I am able to show manners. I think we have gotten too far away from social graces and like how we treat one another and showing respect to elders and those kinds of things. I think that those things are actually really important. 00:09:30 Speaker 3: No, for sure. 00:09:31 Speaker 2: It's something that I've noticed because I feel like I've lived a lot of places and I feel like, you know, living in L.A. versus living in Texas versus, you know, living in New York, I feel like it's very different depending on where I go and just how those kind of like manners and traditions I've carried. It's interesting to like observe too. And then the other thing that kind of stuck out to me from this story was from Zendaya's perspective. 00:09:57 Speaker 3: She was just there to watch the fashion show. It was just like. 00:10:00 Speaker 2: that she was there to see, to enjoy. She probably wasn't even thinking, going into it thinking that anything could come from this. Even when I saw the trending line, I was like, Zendaya's been canceled. 00:10:12 Speaker 3: I was like, she doesn't bother anyone. What does she do? And I think it speaks to this. 00:10:17 Speaker 2: Element of black women always just having to be responsible for managing everyone's perceptions of them. And we talked about it a little for the, I think it was the tennis match conversation with the content creators that were doing TikTok dances and not really like following the rules of the match of like being quiet throughout the match. 00:10:39 Speaker 3: But I think there's, that's maybe one end. 00:10:42 Speaker 2: Of extremes, but it's also like, how do you balance content Those types of norms of the place that you're in, but also just living and being and not having to worry about managing the perception of people around you. 00:10:58 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it kind of feels like, can we just live? 00:11:01 Speaker 2: Right. 00:11:02 Speaker 1: I think that there is the part of this conversation that is around how Black women and our behavior and our appearance and our tone and all of that is policed. 00:11:10 Speaker 2: Right. 00:11:10 Speaker 1: Like everybody has something to say. But I also think that this is a greater indictment on like the surveillance culture that many of us didn't actively opt into always being at the wheel of somebody else's camera, right? Like it reminds me of this story that kind of broke a couple of weeks ago with this interaction between a woman and her husband at the baseball game. And like the story that blew up that we have created like we have to realize that we are creating entire narratives around a moment of a capture of something that people don't even realize is being captured, right? And I think we often go way too far with the stories that we create. And I think that that can really lead to people feeling more on alert when they are in places, right? Because it feels like you never know when somebody is filming you doing something that you think is mundane, but then you get on Instagram and like people have created this entire story around whatever. It's like, wait a minute, that's not what was happening, right? And so I think that if we extend the conversation, I think that that is something to pay attention to as well, just how we often create these long narratives around a moment in time that is captured. 00:12:16 Speaker 3: That's so true. 00:12:17 Speaker 2: I was on Twitter the other day and I don't get on Twitter anymore. Like I just happened to open the app and was just like, oh, what's going on over here? And there's a whole, it feels like subculture of people who are like, take a three second clip and be like, see, this is a whole thesis on like what was happening or just like not even have a clip and just like lie and be like, this person did this. It's like, well, where's the proof? And it's like, oh, we don't have it. Okay. 00:12:45 Speaker 3: Well, what's yeah. 00:12:46 Speaker 1: Okay. 00:12:46 Speaker 3: What are we doing? So that's so true. It's like, there's just cameras everywhere. 00:12:50 Speaker 2: And especially at that level of celebrity where you can't go anywhere without someone taking out their camera. It's like, maybe we just, Extend her some grace to just live without all the backlash for something so small. 00:13:03 Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. 00:13:09 Speaker 2: Well, our last topic, we're going to talk about Drewski's newest skit. So if you missed it, Drewski released a skit a few days ago. It is entitled That's So Zion, where he is portraying a fictional former child star who... is portraying a bunch of unpredictable adult behavior. It appears to parody several former young celebrities, including Raven-Symoné, Jojo

Siwa, Orlando Brown, too. And the sketch basically jokes about how child stars can change dramatically after growing up in the entertainment industry. 00:13:45 Speaker 3: I think we talked about a story a couple. 00:13:48 Speaker 2: Weeks ago with Raven-Symoné basically saying, well, that's a Raven's not black, like all these different things. And We see a lot of stories about child stars who are growing up and they're struggling with substances. Or Peyton Panettiere just a few weeks ago passing away from substance abuse and things of that nature. And it's a big question to tackle, but when a lot of these stories break, I guess my first question is how do the different paths of child stars kind of play out in the sense that you look at someone like Hilary Duff and By all accounts from what we can see, she's gone from child star to adult star. And it's been a pretty smooth road where it's like you have your Britney Spears and your Amanda Bynes. You have different stars that are dealing. 00:14:35 Speaker 3: With different things. Why does this happen? 00:14:38 Speaker 2: Why can we see such drastic changes in behavior from child star to adult star? Hmm. 00:14:46 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that this can really depend on a lot of different factors. 00:14:50 Speaker 2: Right. 00:14:50 Speaker 1: Like what kind of setting was the young person in when they were filming? 00:14:54 Speaker 2: Right. 00:14:54 Speaker 1: Like was it something where they were constantly being on like they were kind of the star of the show versus like a supporting character? I think that that probably matters just in terms of like time. I also think depending on like the. surveillance and like how present was a parent or an adult for the child present right like were you kind of a hawk and making sure that you were always there and like somebody was always you know kind of watching what was happening because sadly we have heard some horror stories about like what kind of things were happening on sets that maybe adults didn't know about so I think that that probably matters as well I also think that you have to look at like the mental health and like What kind of state were the parents in when the child was actually a part of these things? Right. Because I think for a lot of people, sadly, you know, the child became like the meal ticket for the family or people were living out their dreams through the child. And so then like adult stuff gets mixed all into what is supposed to be maybe a fun thing for a child. So I think that that largely has a part to do with it. Like how healthy were the adults who were in charge of the child in the first place before you then got exposed to all this celebrity and, you know, not being able to go anywhere without people recognizing you and like feeling really confused as to like why so many people know your name. Like it's such a precarious state to be a child and then to be in the public eye, especially if you don't have adults who are protecting you. I think we can see that go arrive very quickly in lots of different ways. 00:16:23 Speaker 2: Yeah. I can't remember whose interview I was listening to, but someone was saying that everything as far as like the little things that like make kids kids and the fact that, you know, a lot of them can't really go to school normally, especially if they're working. It's like go to your tutor for like an hour and a half a week and then you just like kind of move on from it. And it's just a very different experience. But I also can't help but think about the fact that We still have child stars within TV and movies, of course, but we also have this kind of like new carve out of child star through TikToks and people who are going on social media and have almost their kids as like personalities that they're able to share and kind of make stars out of. What are some things that you think that parents should keep in mind? Not to say that doing it is right or wrong, but like just some things to keep in mind to help with that transition as kids age when they're kind of used to just being on the screen or in a lot of cases are kind of, like you mentioned, the meal ticket for their family just in this new medium of TikTok. 00:17:34 Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. 00:17:35 Speaker 1: Yeah. So I think, one, you have to be very mindful of safety. Right. So even if the child is online, be very careful about sharing things about like where they go to school and what kinds of places you frequent. Like, you know, we do know that not everybody online has good intentions. And so I think you definitely want to be very mindful about safety and still keeping some things private. I also think it is really important to be in tune with and in touch with whether this is something your child actually wants to do. Right. Because I think that there are some things that kind of start as like just children being children. Maybe they're dancing, maybe they're curiosity and they want to do something. But then at some point when it is something that becomes monetized or becomes a job, it may not actually be something that your child wants to do anymore. And I think that that's important to pay attention to. 00:18:19 Speaker 2: Right. 00:18:20 Speaker 1: So making sure that you are paying attention to and asking like, hey, is this something that you want to still do? I also think it is important for you to be reflective about yourself and constantly assessing yourself. Right. Like if now. Your child is making more money than you ever even made, you know, in your professional career. It can be really easy to kind of want to push them and, you know, kind of shepherd them to continue to do a thing. But that is where I think you have to pay attention to, like, am I getting my own needs met through what is happening with my child? Because, again, I think that that can lead you down a path that may not be so great. And so constantly checking in with yourself about like what needs are getting met from this for you and making sure that that is not overriding, like the child's want to do this or excitement or fun in doing this. I think that those are some things to really kind of be paying attention to. 00:19:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would totally agree. 00:19:09 Speaker 2: I think that like there's a whole era of like you can't really scroll TikTok without seeing videos of kids such as Mahisha that they're protected. I know that there's some laws that either have been passed or in the process of being passed about like making sure that kids are compensated correctly and things of that nature too. So yes, let's keep the baby safe. 00:19:29 Speaker 3: But that wraps up our topics for the week. Thank you, Dr. J. 00:19:33 Speaker 1: Thank you, Bria. 00:19:34 Speaker 3: Great topics as always. 00:19:35 Speaker 1: And if there are things that you'd like to hear us weigh in on, you can always send those to us at therapyforblackgirls.com slash mailbox. And until next time, take good care of yourself.