Full Transcript for Flipping Sales Perception: The Power of Giving and Value-Based Selling

00:05:25.755 --> 00:05:32.079 Yeah, the old English rude of the word sell, salan, meant to give. 00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:36.517 So when you're get, when you're selling, you're literally Giving. 00:05:36.517 --> 00:05:43.180 Now someone might say well, you know, berg, that's clever on everything, but isn't that just semantics, selling giving? 00:05:43.180 --> 00:05:45.365 Well, what are you really giving when you're selling? 00:05:45.365 --> 00:05:52.404 Well, let's say you're in the Presentation process, you're in front of a prospective customer or client, you are selling. 00:05:52.404 --> 00:05:53.728 So what are you giving? 00:05:53.728 --> 00:06:03.896 I suggest you're giving them time, attention, counsel, education, empathy and, mostly, extraordinary value, value. 00:06:03.896 --> 00:06:17.240 So when we look at selling that way, through that lens now, we see it as something very different and it's something we could absolutely Grab on to and be proud of hmm, I love that. 00:06:18.456 --> 00:06:28.906 so do you think that there's also a sense of Sometimes that there's a not, there's a delayed gratification and that people haven't quite made that connection? 00:06:28.906 --> 00:06:44.834 So they want to present you with a product and you sell, and they get paid, and they just they they're not used to like a delayed or even let me ask you this To shift that the dopamine comes from actually giving rather than getting a hundred. 00:06:45.276 --> 00:06:54.334 That's a great way to look at it, and when we can, and when we can get that joy from actually giving value to others, that's a wonderful thing. 00:06:54.334 --> 00:07:00.925 But I would say to somebody, even if you don't feel that way right now, take that action anyway. 00:07:00.925 --> 00:07:01.627 Why? 00:07:01.627 --> 00:07:21.767 Because and let's go back for a second when you talked about delayed gratification and one of the premises, or False premises that someone might have regarding the go-giver way of doing business as well you know this go-giver stuff focusing on the other person, focusing on value, rather than focusing on the commission. 00:07:21.767 --> 00:07:28.435 That's fine Once I have the money, sure, but I mean I, I need the money right now, I can't wait. 00:07:28.636 --> 00:07:36.502 Well, let's first understand something, and this is very important Nobody is gonna buy from you Because you need the money. 00:07:36.502 --> 00:07:40.694 They're not gonna buy from you because you have a quota to meet. 00:07:40.694 --> 00:07:45.086 And they're not gonna buy from you just because you're a really nice human being. 00:07:45.086 --> 00:07:50.466 They're gonna buy from you because they believe that ultimately they will be, they will benefit. 00:07:50.466 --> 00:07:56.505 Yeah right, it'll be better for them to buy from you than not to buy from. 00:07:56.505 --> 00:07:57.850 That's the only reason, right? 00:07:58.190 --> 00:08:07.845 So when we understand that now we know that it's actually in the sales person's best interest To place their focus on the other person. 00:08:07.845 --> 00:08:13.127 Now, what happens when we do that and we make that shift? 00:08:13.127 --> 00:08:25.459 Well, first of all, there's no better way to Create that environment where that person feels good about you, where they know you, like you trust, you feel confident in you, want to do business with you. 00:08:25.459 --> 00:08:29.338 Then, by trying to benefit them, riding value to them. 00:08:29.338 --> 00:08:48.184 Once, this person who didn't understand this previously, once they get that Now, not only do they, they see a much better business results and a lot more money that they're earning, but they actually do begin to feel good about the process itself and about the value they're providing. 00:08:48.184 --> 00:08:50.422 Hmm, I love that. 00:08:51.716 --> 00:08:55.966 One of the things that came up when you were talking about this and so it's making that shift. 00:08:55.966 --> 00:08:58.779 Would you say that they're so? 00:08:58.779 --> 00:09:04.100 You're offering something here that you know works, whether people believe it does or not. 00:09:04.100 --> 00:09:05.043 That's another story. 00:09:05.043 --> 00:09:13.644 Let's just say that they're kind of stepping into this potentiality when how do they derive some faith? 00:09:13.644 --> 00:09:19.839 Because, essentially, faith is believing in something that you can't touch, in a way, right, how do they derive some of that faith? 00:09:19.839 --> 00:09:27.881 Do you think there's some wisdom of learning from Bob, of learning from some of the others that have given and Talk to us about that of like? 00:09:27.881 --> 00:09:36.294 How do they make that connection when they are like, yeah, yeah, bob, I need the money, though, so I don't care what you say, I need to learn some fancy sales techniques. 00:09:36.996 --> 00:09:39.261 Well, first of all, there's nothing wrong with sales techniques. 00:09:39.261 --> 00:09:44.318 Sales techniques are fine if they are benefiting the other person. 00:09:44.318 --> 00:09:52.927 If they need to learn manipulation techniques, then I want nothing to do with them learning anything from me. 00:09:52.927 --> 00:09:59.551 Now, the good news is, you don't have to manipulate in order to have a great sales career. 00:09:59.551 --> 00:10:12.379 Now, by the way, I mean, if you, if someone's gonna lie, cheat and steal, you might be able to make a sale, but you're probably not gonna do very well in business sustainably, okay, so I just I put that out of the. 00:10:12.379 --> 00:10:13.642 You know, out of the. 00:10:13.642 --> 00:10:16.206 Not only does it feel yucky, but even it doesn't. 00:10:16.206 --> 00:10:17.068 It's just bad business. 00:10:17.774 --> 00:10:25.188 Okay, you can actually do much better by looking for ways to benefit others, but there's nothing self-sacrificial about this. 00:10:26.096 --> 00:10:35.683 Let's always go, then, for the person who

kind of doesn't believe it, let's go back To the basic statement that they're not gonna buy from you because you need the money. 00:10:37.085 --> 00:10:52.754 If that's so and I think everyone would agree, everyone in sales would agree that so right, then it just makes logical sense that you've got to give them a reason to see the benefit of doing business with you, and that's because they see the value in it. 00:10:52.754 --> 00:11:02.515 There's also no faith that needs to come into play, because what John and I have shared in this book is nothing new whatsoever. 00:11:02.515 --> 00:11:21.648 So long as, as long as there's been market economies, these are the people who have done the best and sustainably so in sales, and I'll say this by and large it's it's quicker to do it this way than to try to manipulate yourself and, you know, trying to manipulate others rather and try to just. 00:11:21.648 --> 00:11:29.894 You know, no, if you find a way to bring value to another person, you're much more likely for this sale to take place. 00:11:29.894 --> 00:11:30.827 So there's really nothing. 00:11:30.827 --> 00:11:35.225 There's nothing that needs to be proven because it's already been proved Again. 00:11:35.225 --> 00:11:40.038 In other words, there's nothing original in what John and I have, you know, have talked about. 00:11:40.985 --> 00:11:42.171 Well, let's go back to that. 00:11:42.171 --> 00:11:43.509 And did you? 00:11:43.509 --> 00:11:45.595 How did you come across this? 00:11:45.595 --> 00:11:47.630 So you know, you wrote this. 00:11:47.630 --> 00:11:52.211 You know the first book of, you know endless sales referrals. 00:11:52.211 --> 00:11:55.352 Where did you stumble across this? 00:11:55.352 --> 00:11:57.413 Or was this part of your upbringing? 00:11:57.413 --> 00:11:58.590 Where did this come from? 00:11:59.788 --> 00:12:01.937 Ah, I mean, I studied sales. 00:12:01.937 --> 00:12:12.034 When I got into sales I really studied it and kind of learned what the challenge I had was that, although I don't seem like an introvert, I actually very much am. 00:12:12.034 --> 00:12:17.904 So I never really enjoyed the going to places to meet people. 00:12:17.904 --> 00:12:20.345 Prospecting was not something I enjoyed. 00:12:20.345 --> 00:12:42.792 So what I had to do was come up with a system that made the prospecting process enjoyable, and what I found made it enjoyable was when I could relate to people in a way that they did the talking and that I knew that they enjoyed the conversation as much as I did, you know. 00:12:42.792 --> 00:12:47.345 So my endless referral system was basically on how to cultivate those relationships. 00:12:49.533 --> 00:12:57.345 You know, I've been saying for 35 years, since I've been doing this, that, all things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust. 00:12:57.345 --> 00:13:07.284 Well, you know what's the fastest, most powerful, most effective way to elicit those feelings Focus on the other person, make it about them. 00:13:07.284 --> 00:13:13.345 That's easy for an introvert to do, because we'd rather, you know the other person do the talking. 00:13:13.345 --> 00:13:18.325 It's toughest for that person who is the you know, the extrovert. 00:13:18.325 --> 00:13:25.284 I know they can do it, but they need to be able to pull themselves back and make it about the other person. 00:13:25.284 --> 00:13:35.253 As far as with the Go-Giver which is because, you know, while endless referrals is principle based, there's a lot of strategy there. 00:13:35.253 --> 00:13:50.419 With the Go-Giver and the several books in the series John and I have written, it's much more conceptual so that you get the five laws, the lots of value, compensation, influence, authenticity, receptivity. 00:13:50.419 --> 00:13:50.982 How do they work? 00:13:50.982 --> 00:13:51.345 Why do they work? 00:13:51.345 --> 00:14:00.325 How does it align with human nature, which is the most important aspect of all, and John and I both have been entrepreneurs. 00:14:00.325 --> 00:14:03.735 John and I have both studied success for years. 00:14:03.735 --> 00:14:10.015 He has a writer, has gotten to interview some of the most successful people in the world. 00:14:10.015 --> 00:14:14.345 As a speaker Excuse me I've gotten to share the platform with some of the most successful people in the world. 00:14:14.345 --> 00:14:18.345 I ask a lot of questions and I love learning from everybody. 00:14:18.345 --> 00:14:23.325 Plus, he and I both read lots of biographies and lots of history and a lot right. 00:14:24.090 --> 00:14:26.284 So when we came together to do this, it was very natural. 00:14:26.284 --> 00:14:35.345 I mean, we just kind of said OK, so what are those things that all sustainably successful people did? 00:14:35.345 --> 00:14:38.023 It wasn't a matter of did they make a quick buck? 00:14:38.023 --> 00:14:38.345 And that was it. 00:14:38.345 --> 00:14:41.345 Where they want to hit wonders, or where they, you know, what have you? 00:14:41.345 --> 00:14:54.414 What is it that the sustainably successful people did, whether they realized it or not, because a lot of people do things intuitively and they don't even know that's what they're doing. 00:14:54.414 --> 00:14:57.543 They just they have that knack for it or just you know, for whatever reason. 00:14:57.543 --> 00:15:00.611 So we wanted to know what is it that they? 00:15:00.611 --> 00:15:03.318 And we just discussed it and we talked about it as we did. 00:15:03.379 --> 00:15:12.325 The laws, kind of built upon themselves, you know, always starts with that person who can focus on others and look to provide value, always starts with what is value. 00:15:12.325 --> 00:15:22.325 Value is the relative worth or desirability of a thing, of some thing, to the end user or beholder. 00:15:22.325 --> 00:15:35.143 In other words, what is it about this thing, this product, service concept, idea,

what have you that brings so much worth or value to another human being that they will willingly exchange their money for it? 00:15:35.143 --> 00:15:36.325 Ok, that's different from price. 00:15:36.325 --> 00:15:38.325 Price is a dollar figure, right? 00:15:38.325 --> 00:15:40.053 So it's the dollar amount. 00:15:40.053 --> 00:15:42.325 Value is different Values relative. 00:15:43.091 --> 00:15:58.325 It's in the eyes of the beholder, so that person who understands how to discover from that other, realizing that we all value different things in different ways because we have different ways of seeing the world, of understanding the world. 00:15:58.325 --> 00:16:09.345 We all come from our own set of beliefs right, which has been which were handed to us, which is a combination of upbringing, environment, schooling, news, media, television shows. 00:16:09.345 --> 00:16:19.345 But you know, from the time we're really young, we get hit with this set of beliefs long before we're able to question premises right and ask why. 00:16:19.345 --> 00:16:33.341 So we grow up as human beings and we are subject to an unconscious operating system, if you will. 00:16:33.341 --> 00:16:45.345 We don't even know we have it and we make all these decisions thinking it's based on free will, when really it's within a matrix of people, if you remember that first movie where we don't even know that we're. 00:16:46.166 --> 00:16:55.160 And so what the great failed person knows is that what we find to be a value is not necessarily what someone else does. 00:16:55.160 --> 00:17:15.855 So they know how to ask questions and they know how to listen, and they know how to dig deeper and really, really know that they're going to decide what that other person holds to be a value, what they need, what they want, what they desire right, and only then connect the benefits of their product or service. 00:17:15.855 --> 00:17:18.903 Whether you know, you speak with a lot of realtors. 00:17:18.903 --> 00:17:24.345 So, whether it's, you know, enlist in a home or buying a home or whatever it happens to be right. 00:17:24.345 --> 00:17:26.413 They're going to know that. 00:17:26.413 --> 00:17:29.345 They know what this other person is thinking, not assume anything. 00:17:29.345 --> 00:17:31.188 So you know that's. 00:17:31.188 --> 00:17:31.868 That's really. 00:17:31.868 --> 00:17:34.051 You know a big part of what it's about. 00:17:36.196 --> 00:17:38.424 You know, something you said there sparked in me. 00:17:38.424 --> 00:17:43.040 I don't know if you've ever read the seven powers of questions. 00:17:43.040 --> 00:17:54.450 You know I'm kind of connecting some dots here and Do you think part of the value add to someone is holding a space and asking genuine questions? 00:17:54.450 --> 00:18:06.223 Rather, I've really tried to impart on the Agents that have aligned with me that you know asking the right questions is critical and and really actively listening, not just waiting for your time to

talk. 00:18:06.223 --> 00:18:07.066 Well, that's key. 00:18:08.455 --> 00:18:09.800 Talk about that a little bit, about. 00:18:09.800 --> 00:18:16.926 What do you think about the power of questions and the value that you add to someone's life Just by holding space and being interested in and what's valuable to me? 00:18:17.188 --> 00:18:19.055 Well, I love what you said about listening. 00:18:19.055 --> 00:18:28.826 It's it's as you said, it's not listening just to respond, right, it's, it's listening as, as dr Stephen Cummy said, to first understand, very important. 00:18:28.826 --> 00:18:41.159 And so we, we don't listen just with and John and I talk about this in the fourth book in the series, the doggiever influencer it's not listening With your, just with your ears. 00:18:41.159 --> 00:18:43.284 You know, that's the surface listening. 00:18:43.284 --> 00:18:45.849 It's a good start, but that's just a surface listening. 00:18:45.849 --> 00:18:52.442 It's listening with your eyes, it's listening With your, with your body, with your posture. 00:18:52.682 --> 00:19:06.803 It's an and John says this, I love this that he came up with it's listening with the back of your neck and and what he's, what he's saying is it's putting your entire being Into listening to what this person saying and then again at what's. 00:19:06.803 --> 00:19:31.047 What's very important, I think, in the the listening process, the questioning and listening process, is to not assume that we understand what they mean by what they say, because, remember, we all come at things from our own set of beliefs, including definitions, and so so we need to be able to tactfully and diplomatically ask that person to clarify. 00:19:31.047 --> 00:19:37.117 You know, just for my own understanding, when you say x Do you mean? 00:19:37.117 --> 00:19:44.199 Or what do you mean by, or could you take that a little further for me, so that I you know in that that's very important. 00:19:44.982 --> 00:19:47.703 Yeah, it, and I love that. 00:19:47.703 --> 00:19:49.894 I live that listening with the back of your neck. 00:19:49.894 --> 00:20:18.835 So I was getting genuinely because people can tell right when you're kind of feigning interest, you know, is that what that kind of means, like you really just from that very essence from back here, rather than just so, yeah, yeah, I'm really here like my whole body is engaged in and what you're saying, because I want to know, I Genuinely want to know well, you know, alex, two things happen, I think, when you listen with the back of your neck right. 00:20:19.919 --> 00:20:27.909 One is you really do Understand a lot more than you would have, okay, so you are able to take in and receive a whole lot more information. 00:20:27.909 --> 00:20:33.127 That's gonna help you not only add value to their life, but communicate effectively, communicate that value. 00:20:33.127 --> 00:20:38.153 The other thing is, as you said, they know you're listening right and it's just another. 00:20:38.153 --> 00:20:40.383 That's again, it's another aspect of human nature. 00:20:40.383 --> 00:20:49.788 We want to know that person cares, that they have our well-being at heart, that they want to understand us. 00:20:49.788 --> 00:20:57.222 So when we listen like that, what we're really doing is is Expanding the depth of that relationship. 00:21:01.116 --> 00:21:07.252 And when and when you're listening in there, you're also there's different parts to what people are selling. 00:21:07.252 --> 00:21:12.487 For instance, you know let's talk about homes here because we sell homes, right. 00:21:12.487 --> 00:21:24.638 So You're really listening to what's important to them about the home and then you're not going to talk about the other things that you think are Important about home ownership. 00:21:24.638 --> 00:21:27.949 You're really just gonna hone in, not to sell them. 00:21:27.949 --> 00:21:29.875 That's what they want to talk about. 00:21:29.875 --> 00:21:31.164 That's what's important. 00:21:31.164 --> 00:21:31.669 Is that what you're? 00:21:31.669 --> 00:21:32.515 That's what you're talking about. 00:21:32.938 --> 00:21:34.872 Well, I think there's a time and place for everything. 00:21:34.872 --> 00:21:40.829 So, yes, you know you, you need to be with them where they are at this moment and what they're looking to discuss now. 00:21:40.829 --> 00:21:49.006 There's certain aspects you've got to be able to bring into the conversation, obviously as an agent, in order to help them, that they don't know, because you know the process much more than they do. 00:21:49.006 --> 00:21:57.169 But but and you are there as the salesperson, as the agent, you are the leader, and so you've got to be able to to attain their buy-in. 00:21:57.169 --> 00:22:05.307 But you do that Through, just as you said, you know, being with them where they are at that moment. 00:22:05.847 --> 00:22:08.680 Hmm, look, I love that you brought up leadership. 00:22:08.680 --> 00:22:11.686 That's the concept that I just absolutely adore. 00:22:11.686 --> 00:22:17.625 You know, I heard somebody say once in order to lead others, we need to lead ourselves first. 00:22:17.625 --> 00:22:18.528 Yeah, absolutely. 00:22:19.576 --> 00:22:20.558 It's weren't the store. 00:22:20.558 --> 00:22:22.625 It's all about that, more than anything, right. 00:22:24.116 --> 00:22:25.623 Yeah, personal responsibility. 00:22:25.623 --> 00:22:33.910 Um, could you talk about that, like what leadership means within the concept of, within the, with the context of leading yourself? 00:22:33.910 --> 00:22:39.105 And there come, like maybe you could dive into a little bit of self-awareness around that as well. 00:22:39.807 --> 00:22:58.179 Well, I you know, in a sense and I'll just take from one of the books on the series, the go-giver leader, aunt Al, was the, was the Mentor in this part, and she said to Ben, who was the protege you know what you have to to give To, what you have to offer.

00:22:58.179 --> 00:23:04.673 She said you give, yeah, least of all through what you say. 00:23:04.673 --> 00:23:06.320 Now, that's what you say is important. 00:23:06.320 --> 00:23:12.810 We need to be able to say things the right way and and we need to be able to say the right things, of course, but it's the least important. 00:23:12.810 --> 00:23:23.574 More important is what you do, but most important is who you are, and that's where character comes into play. 00:23:24.095 --> 00:23:28.444 Character comes from an old Greek word meaning scrape or or scratch. 00:23:28.444 --> 00:23:35.406 It came to mean an engraved marque and eventually a defining quality. 00:23:35.406 --> 00:23:48.412 Now, with one word of wax poetic, one could say that characters, what happens when life etches or scratches itself onto your soul, which is very poetic, of course, that's John saying, because he's so great like that. 00:23:48.412 --> 00:23:51.117 But I'm not as poetic I. 00:23:51.117 --> 00:23:56.325 I, like You're defining quality right to me. 00:23:56.325 --> 00:24:03.391 That's your, your, your defining quality, which is some total of all your qualities. 00:24:03.391 --> 00:24:06.377 Your defining quality is your character. 00:24:06.377 --> 00:24:20.444 It's interesting about people with high character because Not only do they tend to stand for something, but we tend to know exactly where they, where they stand. 00:24:20.444 --> 00:24:25.435 Now, that doesn't mean they don't make mistakes, of course they do, they're human. 00:24:25.435 --> 00:24:31.107 It doesn't mean they don't Course correct. 00:24:31.107 --> 00:25:01.369 You know, certainly they, they do, but you know when it, when it comes to those Values based decisions, they are absolutely immovable, immutable and and just right, there, you know, right, you know exactly where they stand, and that's one reason why we respect those people so much and will follow them, that they have high character. 00:25:01.369 --> 00:25:07.648 We develop high character through our own self-improvement. 00:25:07.648 --> 00:25:11.671 We look at those areas where we need to work. 00:25:11.671 --> 00:25:13.494 Now I think there you know people. 00:25:13.494 --> 00:25:13.775 There's. 00:25:13.815 --> 00:25:21.585 There's an old saying that you know, forget about your weaknesses, just focus on your strengths. 00:25:21.585 --> 00:25:24.273 I Don't think that's a complete saying. 00:25:24.273 --> 00:25:26.704 I understand what people mean when they say that. 00:25:26.704 --> 00:25:29.612 You know you want to, to focus what you're good at. 00:25:29.612 --> 00:25:33.169 You know, focus on your strengths, lead with your strengths, try to. 00:25:33.169 --> 00:25:35.622 You know, hire out your weaknesses or try to. 00:25:35.622 --> 00:25:38.574 That's fine, but I think there are three types of weaknesses. 00:25:38.574 --> 00:25:46.317 There are the weaknesses that Are pretty meaningless and we don't have to worry about. 00:25:46.317

--> 00:25:50.144 I Mean, you know, I don't run long distance as well. 00:25:50.144 --> 00:25:54.094 That's a weakness of mine, but it's 65 years old with no plans to run a marathon. 00:25:54.094 --> 00:25:55.576 I'll let that weakness go. 00:25:55.576 --> 00:26:01.644 Don't care, I don't file things well, don't have the patience, I hire that out. 00:26:01.644 --> 00:26:02.990 That's a weakness that I can. 00:26:02.990 --> 00:26:03.772 You know what I'm saying. 00:26:03.913 --> 00:26:06.924 Okay, then there are the weaknesses we need to mitigate. 00:26:06.924 --> 00:26:24.770 We don't have to focus on them, but we need to mitigate them so, so, for example, when it comes to numbers and and accounting and bookkeeping things, that's not a strength of mine, but I couldn't just let that go. 00:26:24.770 --> 00:26:29.310 When I did early in my career came back to haunt me, so I needed to mitigate that. 00:26:29.310 --> 00:26:33.434 I needed to learn enough that it was workable for me. 00:26:33.434 --> 00:26:33.957 Right? 00:26:33.957 --> 00:26:37.229 You know what I'm saying and and that's fine, so we know they do with you what was? 00:26:37.229 --> 00:26:44.455 I'll never be confused with a, with a CPA, but at the same time, you know it's it's a mitigated weakness and I'm okay. 00:26:44.455 --> 00:26:56.917 Then there are those weaknesses we need to turn into strengths if we're going to Come anywhere close to to realizing our potential and being more effective. 00:26:56.917 --> 00:27:02.307 These would be things that you know. 00:27:02.327 --> 00:27:05.035 For example, someone who has anger issues. 00:27:05.035 --> 00:27:10.355 Okay, they need to be able to, now that you know there's. 00:27:10.355 --> 00:27:12.765 There's righteous anger, but that's not what I'm talking about. 00:27:12.765 --> 00:27:18.586 I think you know they're righteous anger when some you know something bad has happened to someone or there's a you know An injustice. 00:27:18.586 --> 00:27:19.627 I'm not talking about that. 00:27:19.627 --> 00:27:24.598 I'm talking about someone having anger issues where they yell all the time and they're they. 00:27:24.598 --> 00:27:28.285 They're not in control of themselves or their emotions on that right. 00:27:28.285 --> 00:27:33.436 That's a person who needs to absolutely work on that, as I had to. 00:27:33.517 --> 00:27:42.352 Back when I Started working on my character traits back about 35 years ago, I went on what would be now called Berg 2.0, I guess in computer lingo. 00:27:42.352 --> 00:27:43.545 But back then who thought of it? 00:27:43.545 --> 00:27:52.074 I just knew I needed to work on certain areas of my, my character that were very weak and Turn that those weaknesses into strength. 00:27:52.074 --> 00:27:55.605 So very few people would ever know that Bob Berg ever had anger issues right. 00:27:55.605 --> 00:28:04.432 Another was a Appreciation and gratitude for the first 35 years of my. 00:28:04.432 --> 00:28:11.474 30 years of my

life say 35 years of my life I Looked at the negative side of things. 00:28:11.474 --> 00:28:13.651 They just it's where I went. 00:28:13.651 --> 00:28:16.520 That was just my natural way of looking at that. 00:28:16.520 --> 00:28:24.990 Wasn't brought up that way, but that's just how it was for me and I realized I had to to start to Embrace gratitude. 00:28:25.586 --> 00:28:37.404 I had to start to live in gratitude and I worked on it and I'd live my life that way and it didn't take me long to get to that point and immediately things got much better. 00:28:37.404 --> 00:28:41.933 And there were other traits, character traits that I knew I needed to. 00:28:41.933 --> 00:28:48.228 We were to work on real weaknesses of character that I needed to turn into strengths. 00:28:48.228 --> 00:28:53.540 I think that's where it starts and I think that's where I think this. 00:28:53.540 --> 00:29:01.585 I think the Stoics had a wonderful grasp on that and you know, if you read that which I know, obviously you do more than I do you're an expert with the Stoics. 00:29:01.585 --> 00:29:02.346 I'm not. 00:29:02.346 --> 00:29:04.755 I just enjoy reading and learning from them. 00:29:04.755 --> 00:29:14.135 But that's really, those are the things you can control, and they're all about controlling that which is within your sphere of influence. 00:29:14.135 --> 00:29:15.598 You're, you're what you can control. 00:29:18.066 --> 00:29:18.926 That's fantastic. 00:29:18.926 --> 00:29:20.009 I wrote those three down. 00:29:20.009 --> 00:29:21.132 I love that you have the. 00:29:21.132 --> 00:29:27.713 You know that maybe I'm not good at running or filing and that's okay, that's not gonna ruin your not gonna ruin your life. 00:29:27.713 --> 00:29:33.255 You could potentially ruin your fiscal life by not paying attention to that. 00:29:33.736 --> 00:29:36.307 Oh, wait, it came back to hot Years ago. 00:29:36.327 --> 00:29:41.989 Yeah, really sure, yeah, and Then I love that last one. 00:29:41.989 --> 00:29:46.138 You know what are the really big ones, and that's a you know that self-evaluation. 00:29:46.138 --> 00:29:48.250 What led you to that? 00:29:48.250 --> 00:29:49.795 Like what was that juncture? 00:29:49.795 --> 00:29:53.305 Did you have this epiphany moment where you ruined a relationship, or something like that? 00:29:53.305 --> 00:29:55.320 I don't need you look at it. 00:29:55.340 --> 00:30:08.593 They were books I was reading that I started to to See myself in these books in in the ways that certain character traits were brought up Gossiping was another one that I put. 00:30:08.593 --> 00:30:15.076 I put to have been all the time and you know, in other things and I started to really see myself. 00:30:15.076 --> 00:30:28.096 And again, this is about 34, 35 years old and I just saw that, you know, I I wasn't gonna to Come near reaching my potential if I didn't rework myself. 00:30:28.096 --> 00:31:01.109 And then a great mentor of mine, charlie Cromendous Jones and late Charlie Jones, he sent me a book with the autobiography by Benjamin Franklin, which had which is one of the best books to me ever written wisdom of the ages, and he had one chapter in which he talked about Him having he did this at 20 years old where he realized he had certain character trait deficiencies that he needed to work on and he actually he invented a course on how to do it. 00:31:01.109 --> 00:31:04.415 You know this is long before Dale Carnegie came along. 00:31:04.415 --> 00:31:10.910 So Ben was an inventor and he invented his own self-improvement course and he showed how to how to do this. 00:31:10.990 --> 00:31:11.972 It was in the chapter. 00:31:11.972 --> 00:31:13.256 I think it's chapter 8. 00:31:13.256 --> 00:31:22.886 I'm not, I don't recall, but it was on the oh my gosh, the I can't think of the name of the chapter, my apologies, but it was. 00:31:22.886 --> 00:31:31.452 It was on that he talked about taking 13 traits he wanted to work on and how to do it, and it was a game changer for me. 00:31:31.452 --> 00:31:32.884 I did exactly what he said. 00:31:32.884 --> 00:31:43.892 I use some of his traits because they were similar to mine, but there were others that were individual to me and I went through his course just right, as he suggested in the book, and it turned my life. 00:31:43.892 --> 00:31:45.356 I mean, it was just you know. 00:31:45.939 --> 00:31:53.058 I've got my next Amazon purchase, yeah well, hey, in the spirit of the go-giver, I don't want to take. 00:31:53.058 --> 00:32:00.498 You have been so gracious with your time and I know you're not great with filing, so I'm gonna keep us on time here on. 00:32:00.498 --> 00:32:03.404 You've been so gracious with your time. 00:32:03.404 --> 00:32:19.307 I want to also say you know how quickly you reached back out to me, how you know how expeditious your process was to get into the calendar, setting me over the assets like just talk, not, you obviously have some people there helping you out, which you talked about. 00:32:19.307 --> 00:32:21.512 You know mitigating that kind of thing. 00:32:21.512 --> 00:32:22.255 Hire that out. 00:32:22.255 --> 00:32:36.026 You've got some great people and I just want to genuinely say I really, really appreciate you taking your precious time to come and to add value To our audience and my audience not as big as yours, but we know Okay. 00:32:36.086 --> 00:32:38.567 I'm a lot older, I've had more time to put it together. 00:32:38.567 --> 00:32:39.248 You'll. 00:32:39.248 --> 00:32:39.867 You'll get there. 00:32:39.867 --> 00:32:41.609 You're on your way, thank you.