Full Transcript for Improve Your Relationships One Conversation at a Time with Jeremie Kubicek

introduction six books. 72 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:59,030 This is the sixth book. It's called The Communication Code. 73 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:02,367 So you really I think, answered 74 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:05,161 already sort of why this book? 75 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:09,207 But I'm curious as to the title. 76 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:12,168 Why do you think of it 77 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:16,965 or why should we think of communication as having a code? 78 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,967 Yeah. So here's here's what I want you to think about. 79 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:23,221 If you're listening to this and a podcast, our life here, the communication code. 80 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:27,308 Think about communication, and communication is a transmission. 81 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,394 I'm transmitting something. 82 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:33,773 So when I transmit something, transmission has an expectation. 83 00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:36,442 Every transmission has an expectation. 84 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,736 It's like I'm communicating something to you. 85 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:41,739 It means, Hey, Kevin, I'd love to get together 86 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:45,243 soon and talk about a few things. Okay. 87 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,245 What's the agenda? 88 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,081 What's the what's the expectation attached to that? 89 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,666 What are you wanting? 90 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:56,421 So when you understand that most people miss communicate, 91 00:04:56,504 --> 00:05:00,842 which means we mess up the expectation transfer. 92 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,928 We don't. We're not aware, We don't know 93 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,307 or we haven't solved the expectation of the person. 94 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:13,646 That means we we won't meet their needs and then we further 95 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,315 disappoint people. 96 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,442 Like I did it again. Yep. 97 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,610 And so there's a we. 98 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:23,197 What Steve and I realized was this happened kept happening with 99 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:26,743 he and I, and we had an infamous session. 100 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,952 This is eight years ago. 101 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,747 We've been using this tool for about eight years. 102 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:34,125 We were sitting in this restaurant called Jack and Alice in London. 103 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,461 Seems British. And I used I used to live in London. 104 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:39,464 And so we're setting this restaurant. 105 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,965 I just gotten back from the States. 106 00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:45,636 I just closed a pretty large deal and I was pretty excited about it. 107 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,555 And so I came to Steve. 108 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,349 I'm like, Dude, let's go, man. 109 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,266 I want to talk. 110 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:53,561 So my expectation was to celebrate. 111 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,688 I started sharing my what happened? 112 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,732 And Steve 113 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,567 starts to go, Ha! 114 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:01,819 Well, that's not how we talked about it. 115 00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,155 Why did why did you do it that way? 116 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,574 I thought we were going to do X, Y and Z. 117 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:10,787 He starts critiquing the very deal that I closed 118 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:15,166 when what I closed was bigger than what we had talked about. 119 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:18,127 But it didn't happen the way that we had talked, that we thought it would happen. 120 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,587 It happened in a different way. 121 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:23,591 But his critique caused me to turn beet red 122 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:26,344 and I started to literally build up. 123 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:31,474 And what I realized was every time this was happening, every time with Steve, 124 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:35,186 every time I'd have a celebration, there'd be a critique attached to it. 125 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,981 In his mind, he thought he was collaborating, but it was coming out. 126 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,608 This didn't feel like that to you. 127 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:44,070 And it's never happened to anyone who's listening, right? 128 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,614 Ever where someone felt like they were collaborating. 129 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,450 But do you have felt like a critique? Right. 130 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:53,329 And and therefore, I was like, That's not what I'm looking for right now. 131 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,497 There's a time and place. 132 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,706 So I said it. 133 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:58,334 Why do you always critique? 134 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,586 It's like putting water on my fire. 135 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,214 I've got this cake with candles I'm trying to celebrate. 136 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,383 And you just doused it with water. 137 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:09,137 And he goes, Well, why didn't you tell me you wanted to celebrate? 138 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,180 I'm like, Well, why didn't you know? 139 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,723 I wanted to celebrate? 140 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:16,644 And it took us about 2 hours and we figured out 141 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:21,858 we just actually committed to stay and solve the issue that kept happening. 142 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,568 And then we started figuring out what was happening 143 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,653 with our spouse and other people. 144 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:29,115 And we figured out there's code words and everyone's 145 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,076 if they could actually send the code word, 146 00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:35,788 then there's a better chance the expectations will get me, 147 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,249 which

means that communications will get better, 148 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:42,044 which means that relationships will be unlocked. 149 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,006 I want to get to the all the code words, people. 150 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:48,009 If you're paying close attention, you might know that we've 151 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,012 already mentioned three of them, but we'll get to that in a minute. 152 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:53,055 But there's two there's like three other things 153 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:57,393 I think we need to talk about before we dive in to the words themselves. 154 00:07:57,393 --> 00:08:00,605 And and we'll do that in a minute. 155 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:05,443 In both, the first two of these ideas have already come up in our conversation. 156 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,486 But I think it's important 157 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,781 for us to talk about you talk about the idea of relational trust. 158 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,659 Most people would just use the word trust. 159 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,079 What do you mean when you say relational trust and 160 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:20,082 how does it relate to this conversation? 161 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,919 So I'll take it a step further. 162 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:27,882 Again, we we focus at Giant on relational intelligence, 163 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:33,095 so an unintelligent person will have relational issues. 164 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,141 So relational, unintended, urgent person is someone who's not built 165 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:37,975 relational trust. 166 00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:41,270 So relational trust is the idea that when we're talking, 167 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:45,316 when we're communicating, we're doing it in the framework 168 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:50,321 of a relationship, not in the framework of a transaction. 169 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:50,696 And a 170 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:54,158 transaction is very different than than a relationship. 171 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:59,372 So the transaction is just, yeah, commodity right back and forth. 172 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:01,582 So if you're inside a relationship, there's 173 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:05,127 this relational trust or a relational distrust. 174 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,214 There's relational intelligence or relational unintelligent. 175 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:11,717 What tends to take place is people 176 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:15,680 have the same tendencies and we're not aware of what we do. 177 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:19,767 And so take the take the spouse, 178 00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:23,437 the husband, typically the female. 179 00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,982 I'm just generalizing here, but the female, 180 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,402 the spouse will say, Hey, I really need to talk. 181 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:33,489 And this the woman starts going into detail. 182 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,950 The man's tries to solve it. 183 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,953 And all of a sudden the wife because never mind, never mind. 184 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:43,165 And then they pull back and then she begins to talk to other friends 185 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,585 who will listen because her husband never listens. 186 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,838 And then she says, you know, Dale never listens. 187 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,673 He'll never change. 188 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:55,553 He's always the same meaning he he has a tendency to critique. 189 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:56,596 But he's not 190 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,599 doesn't show care, so he doesn't know how to care for me. 191 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,602 So I have to get my needs met in other places. 192 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:05,313 Well, there's an emotional distress. 193 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:05,521 Yeah. 194 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,607 So going back to your earlier. Sorry, I didn't mean interrupt. 195 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,986 Going back to your earlier point that once we have these code words 196 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,406 and we're going to talk about this more, but the idea is that 197 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:20,494 it doesn't necessarily mean that Dale isn't capable of care. 198 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,288 It's just that's not what he's thinking. 199 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,583 Like, I'll take an example, a similar very similar example. 200 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,461 You know, Jeremy, you know, the kind of work that I do. 201 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,670 We do very similar work. 202 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:33,924 And so all day long people are asking me 203 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,593 for my advice. 204 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:39,889 And when I go home and hear about my wife's day at work, 205 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,807 that is not what she wants from me. 206 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,477 So we could use the code word as a way to talk about that. 207 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:48,981 But what I learned a long time ago is that she may want advice 208 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:52,526 about some work issue at some point, but not first. 209 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,363 And until I realize that that's not what she needs 210 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:59,492 first and I have to be the one to make the adjustment. 211 00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:01,535 And I'm not saying I'm perfect, and I'm way better. 212 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:05,706 Way better at it than I used to be, then that 213 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,417 that has the chance to make a huge impact, 214 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,671 including building relational trust. 215 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:15,132 We then what we've done is we've created common language 216 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,427 so that people can use the common language because common language 217 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:21,889 builds object, objective 218 00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:25,267 relation or communication is not subjective. 219 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,938 So a subjective

subjectivity is where all drama comes from. 220 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:32,775 You know, Kevin, you never you always. 221 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,276 Why do you. 222 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:38,656 Why can't you like subjective thoughts 223 00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:42,743 versus common language is like, hey, 224 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,496 I really need you to care. 225 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,914 I just need care today. 226 00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,250 I don't really need critique. 227 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,419 I just need you to listen. 228 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,712 You got it. 229 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,547 You sent the code word. 230 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:59,135 I've heard it. Now I have to respond to it. 231 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,469 You said two things. 232 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:00,761 Made me 233 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:04,807 think of my father, who used to say Kevin always and never are a very long time. 234 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:07,309 And the other problem with those two words are. 235 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:10,271 As long as I can think of one time when it wasn't true, 236 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,815 then I didn't get everything that you just said. 237 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,567 And there we go to Drama. 238 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,776 I love that. 239 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:19,280 Well, I don't love drama, but except on the screen. 240 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,115 But yeah, I love that. 241 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,867 So the other thing 242 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,786 that you guys talk about early in the book and that we mentioned briefly 243 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:29,582 and it relates to what we've just been talking about is the idea of expectations. 244 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:34,128 And and I think the older 245 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:36,922 and hopefully wiser that I get, 246 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:41,802 the more I realize how very important and underappreciated expectations 247 00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:45,848 are not just for us as leaders, certainly for us as well. 248 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,391 You're setting clearer expectations. 249 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:50,936 People can't read our minds, right, but in all areas of our lives as well. 250 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:56,817 So anything beyond what we've already said that you want to comment on here. 251 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:57,318 Yeah. 252 00:12:57,318 --> 00:13:00,529 So expectations they have 253 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:05,785 they have long memories because you you think about 254 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,914 when you've your expectations have not been met historically. 255 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,875 So if you want if you're listening to this and you want to 256 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:16,295 significantly change the relationships that you have, 257 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:21,759 then you've got to do a little bit of work to go back and first recognize it. 258 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,969 Second, apologize. 259 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:28,808 And then third, create a new standard, which is going to take weeks, months 260 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:33,145 for people to see that it's legit and it's real that you actually have changed. 261 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:37,191 Most people are just unaware that they tend to critique 262 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,944 or they're killjoys to other people. 263 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,320 There's no note. 264 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,741 So therefore and so when they don't know it, then they think it's the other person. 265 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,285 Now, she woke up on the other strong side of the bed 266 00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:51,539 this morning, or what's up with him? 267 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,791 Well, you know, it could be you. 268 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:58,838 It could be that every single time that you're with someone, you find fault 269 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,257 and they see it as critical. 270 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,759 They don't see it as you trying to help them. 271 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,094 Exactly. 272 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:08,097 So then that creates a dynamic, 273 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:13,102 which then means that my expectations become limited and maybe even resigned 274 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:16,355 because I'm going to put a wall up to protect myself from you. 275 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:20,276 And every time we have a communication, it is exactly the same as the last one. 276 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,361 And the last one. And the last one and the last one. 277 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,738 The wall goes higher and higher and higher and higher. 278 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,115 And my expectations 279 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,994 for us to have a good relationship go lower and lower and lower. 280 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:34,498 And all that wall does is make sure that not like any wall. 281 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,459 Nothing's getting through it. Right. Now. 282 00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:38,377 All right. 283 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,714 So we've been talking about examples, Jeremy, 284 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:47,011 that are both personal and professional. 285 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,429 And there's 286 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:52,349 if if we're on a podcast called the Remarkable Leadership Podcast, 287 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:56,061 when you talk a little bit about that leadership role piece, which means 288 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,814 there are power dynamics at play. Right. 289 00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:04,403 So talk a little bit about that, about what that looks like 290 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:08,282 and what that how that matters in this conversation. 291 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:08,616 Yeah. 292 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,410 So, you know, you think back to history. 293 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,830 You go, okay, if I have a if I'm thinking of a relationship 294 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:18,751 in my life, the power dynamics are,

295 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,711 well, who is that person to me? 296 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,589 Are they older than me? 297 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,383 Are are they a father figure? 298 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,802 Are they a teacher? A principal? 299 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:33,015 There's power at play with AIDS, with title. 300 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,934 Are they a CEO in their world? 301 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,479 And so therefore, they're kind of a bigger thing in their world. 302 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,356 So those are all power moves. 303 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:45,819 And then you put in personality, then you might have a more Type A personality. 304 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,572 So all of those together could 305 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:52,743 could make it feel like I'm subservient to you 306 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:56,789 because of age, stage, title, personality. 307 00:15:56,872 --> 00:16:00,626 So being aware then that your power dynamics 308 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:04,922 can actually shut people down and you may not be aware 309 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:05,673 of what it's like 310 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:09,385 to be on the other side of you and how and why people distrust you. 311 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,221 Because all they've experienced is your power and your 312 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:16,392 critique so they don't feel, 313 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,476 you know, 314 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,729 engage the feel that you're fighting for them. 315 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:25,693 They might feel like you're fighting against them. 316 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,820 Okay, 317 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,655 we keep talking about the code words, 318 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:34,493 but I haven't asked you or allowed you, if you will, to sort of outline them all. 319 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:39,039 By my count, we've actually you've actually mentioned four of the five. 320 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:42,751 So they all start with C, which I immediately love 321 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:46,505 because I like alliteration and it helps us remember them, of course. 322 00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:51,176 So why don't you just very quickly describe each of the five. 323 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:54,596 I'll pop them on the screen for those watching as you do that. 324 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,681 Go ahead. 325 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,724 First one is celebrate. 326 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,309 So what we're seeing is that people have an expectation. 327 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,602 They have a code word. 328 00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:03,772 So a celebration is when someone wants to talk 329 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,858 about something that excited about and just want to celebrate. 330 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,693 I'm not saying a parade. 331 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,696 I'm just saying I want to be able to to celebrate. 332 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,949 And so celebrations, one care is another. 333 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,870 So care is when someone is looking for you to listen 334 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:23,042 or just to just just to be with them or care about the things they care about. 335 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,626 And so cares going to be different 336 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:27,629 for different personalities, but that's ultimately what care is. 337 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,548 Third is clarifying, clarify. 338 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:36,221 So an expectation is, Hey, I need you to clarify what you're saying. 339 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,308 So I know that you know what I'm talking about. 340 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,851 So if we're going to collaborate on it, 341 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,020 I just need to know that you get what I'm saying. 342 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,397 If not, then we're going to have issues. 343 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,566 Then there's collaboration. 344 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,985 And then the collaboration is different. 345 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:54,615 The collaboration is like, Hey, we're working on this together. 346 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,075 This isn't hey, this is my idea. 347 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:56,950 Make it better. 348 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,244 This is Listen, I've got something. 349 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,996 Let's build something together. 350 00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,915 So we're truly building together. 351 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:07,086 Whereas critique is allies, critique would be the last one. 352 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:10,964 So an expectation of critique is basically, Hey, make this better. 353 00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:16,845 Some people take an idea out here and they go, Hey, Kevin, would you take my idea? 354 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,640 And thinkers will do this well, 355 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,309 and you shoot a hole in it and I go and take it away. 356 00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:23,685 I'm like, Hey, good job. 357 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,563 Thank you. I just made it better. Appreciate that. 358 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:29,441 Well, that's ideal. Critique. 359 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,902 A lot of feelers will be their idea. 360 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,279 Yeah. Hey, Kevin, what do you think of it? And then put their idea right? 361 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,697 Right over my heart. 362 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,492 Right. Total ownership of this puppy. Right. 363 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,619 And so then you shoot at it, and then all of a sudden 364 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:44,289 you see blood and you're like, Why did you put it over your heart? 365 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,208 you're taking this personal. 366 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,960 No, this isn't personal. 367 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,089 And yet, because we're so passionate, everything is personal, 368 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,632 especially to viewers. 369 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:59,263 So that's where critique versus being critical are different. 370

00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,514 So it crosses my mind. 371 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:04,977 You're talking about collaboration for those who are listening to the podcast. 372 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,520 Two weeks ago we had an episode who put this 373 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,524 in the show notes where I talked with Chris Dever and 374 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:15,279 Ian Clawson about their new book, which talks about co-creation 375 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:19,032 and how it requires us to be brave to do that. 376 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:25,455 And I think it requires us to be brave, have to know and understand what we need 377 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,417 in this communication, in this relationship, and 378 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:32,838 and to be brave enough to say, hey, I right now what I need is care, 379 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,132 not clarification, even, for example. Right. 380 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:39,303 So any you would say about that, about sort of the bravery 381 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:43,557 that comes or maybe how the words help us be braver perhaps? 382 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,060 Yeah, Well, I mean, we have expectations. 383 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:51,773 Wouldn't it be nice if we could share what those expectations are? 384 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,359 So all it is is it's a transmission. 385 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,862 Transmission has an expectation. 386 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,615 Expectation has a code word attached to it. 387 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,202 So by me coming to you and going, Hey, Kevin, 388 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,580 man, I've got some things I want to share. 389 00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,457 I need you to clarify them first, 390 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:12,169 because I really need you to help pull out what I'm trying to say. 391 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,004 But I want your full collaboration. 392 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:18,467 But not until I know you're completely on the same page with me. 393 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,509 That should. 394 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:22,304 It's almost like a transmission you're aligning. 395 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,932 You're being aligned to actually work together. 396 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:28,936 So by doing this really, really well, it's it's 397 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:35,108 me actually giving you the chance to help me. 398 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,526 See, that's the part I love about this. 399 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:40,155 It's giving you the chance to help me. 400 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:40,530 Right. 401 00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:44,993 So it puts us in this space of we're in this together, which, of course, 402 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,830 if we're in a relationship, we are in it together. 403 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:52,960 One of the things I wanted to do was read something from the book 404 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,505 that basically you've already said, but I'm going to 405 00:20:56,588 --> 00:21:01,385 I'm going to read it again, read it here and let you comment on it. 406 00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:04,012 You haven't said it quite this way In the book. 407 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:09,309 You said honor others by asking what code word they want from you. 408 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:13,355 You've talked about telling people what code word you want, 409 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:16,149 but this is saying honor them by asking. 410 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,235 So say a little bit more about that. Yeah. 411 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,070 So it's two ways, right? 412 00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,822 So here's the reality. 413 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,741 Let's say, Kevin, let's say you and I are really close friends, okay? 414 00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:25,659 And we've spent a lot of time 415 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:29,121 and we would be if we've got more time together. But let's just say 416 00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:30,372 you have it's. 417 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:33,000 Too cold in Oklahoma City. Sorry. 418 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,003 You say one or two things that you'd want, okay. 419 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,088 And I have one or two things I'd want. 420 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:41,800 So when I'm meeting with you before we start, you go, Hey, man, 421 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,552 I want to meet with you. I'm so excited. 422 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,762 I want to talk to you about some things. 423 00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:47,681 I couldn't miss it if I. 424 00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,057 If I don't stop and go. 425 00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:51,059 Okay. Before you do. What? 426 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,811 What are you hoping we accomplish? 427 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,021 What do you need from me? 428 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,356 Now, if you know the language, you go, that's right. 429 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:56,898 Yeah. I want. 430 00:21:56,898 --> 00:21:58,150 I want your collaboration. 431 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,861 But I want you to clarify first. Perfect. 432 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,070 Thank you. 433 00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:05,073 You've helped me be able to help you. 434 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:05,866 So that's. 435 00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:06,908 That's the idea. 436 00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:09,870 I have the same expectations as well. 437 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:13,498 So what we're doing is we're just meeting and matching expectations. 438 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:16,251 That's the entire game that we're playing here. 439 00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:19,338 And so honor is really doing 440 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:22,424 that to others as they would want dance to Platinum Rule. 441 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,719 So it's actually providing what you would want 442 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:29,264 because in you may not even know that's what you want. 443 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:33,977 But for me to stop you before we go and help you align it, 444 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:37,522 it's going to it's the chance for me to increase. 445 00:22:37,522 -->

00:22:41,360 My influence goes up dramatically. 446 00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:45,489 So sometimes we read a book 447 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,742 and we can get tremendous value from it for ourselves. 448 00:22:48,950 --> 00:22:50,911 That's true. That is true with this book. 449 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:54,539 But I think that the thing that is really been 450 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:58,585 reinforced for me, Jeremy, in our conversation beyond when I read it, 451 00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:01,296 is that this book, 452 00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:06,051 the communication Code, is of greater value when both people in a 453 00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:09,763 in a relationship or everyone on a team all reads it 454 00:23:09,846 --> 00:23:12,724 because of the. 455 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:14,267 Common. Common language. 456 00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:16,728 Back to this idea of common language where we started. 457 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:20,440 And so I think that that's, I think is worth 458 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:23,360 you thinking about as you're listening to us. 459 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:27,906 Watching us and, and, and I would strongly encourage you 460 00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:31,326 to think about getting copies of this book, not just for yourself, but for 461 00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:33,620 those that you work with. 462 00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:34,788 I'm sure you agree with that. 463 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:37,457 But anything you want to you want to add to that. 464 00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:39,459 It's true. We've been seeing it. 465 00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:40,627 We've been seeing it. 466 00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:45,173 It's it's just it's really healthy and it's almost like 467 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,050 oil in an engine. 468 00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:48,552 No one thinks about oil. 469 00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:50,303 They think about the engine. 470 00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:53,557 But it's the oil that makes the engine run, Right? 471 00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:56,435 It's the oil. So it removes friction. 472 00:23:56,435 --> 00:24:00,689 The communication code is like oil for a team or a marriage 473 00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:04,276 or for being a dad or a parent. 474 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:08,655 It actually gives you the language so that we don't get into those 475 00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:13,952 drama loops into the and pride doesn't enter and walls don't go up. 476 00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:17,038 And so to unlock a relationship if you just 477 00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:21,918 if you learn the few words and the system and the way to do this, it 478 00:24:21,918 --> 00:24:27,466 literally changes the entire future of of a relationship. 479 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:28,925 Yeah I think that's right. 480 00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:32,971 And and we have we have long said 481 00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:34,347 these ideas 482 00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:38,977 about the code words notwithstanding that workplace conflict conflict 483 00:24:38,977 --> 00:24:45,025 but

certainly workplace conflict is caused by unmet or unclear expectations. 484 00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:50,530 And so drama is created when there are unmet or unclear expectations. 485 00:24:50,530 --> 00:24:55,660 And so the five code words help create a shared expectations that 486 00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:59,539 not all we need for clear expectations, but it's certainly a piece of that. 487 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,750 Absolutely. And you don't have to stay them. 488 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,294 A lot of people go, it feels weird. 489 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:05,629 You say them every single time. 490 00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:10,050 I'm like, No, you get so good at it that I can pick up on what you want, 491 00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:13,720 even if you don't tell me by asking a few questions. 492 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,347 I can know. 493 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:19,226 So, Kevin, before we start, you've got some great ideas here. 494 00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,770 How can I be most helpful? Exactly. 495 00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:23,146 So it doesn't have to. 496 00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:25,565 It doesn't have to be formulaic. 497 00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:29,444 However, like a lot of things like this, a little bit of that in your head 498 00:25:29,444 --> 00:25:30,403 to start with. 499 00:25:30,403 --> 00:25:33,907 I mean, if you're doing with this with someone else, using those words more 500 00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:38,328 at the start will help you to ingrain it and make it more, 501 00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:41,081 more real for you. 502 00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:44,960 And the the other thing I just say is we've even gone deeper. 503 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:45,502 Indigo. 504 00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:48,296 There's actually even a customer communication code. 505 00:25:48,296 --> 00:25:53,093 So now in the top three, four relationships that you have in your life, 506 00:25:53,176 --> 00:25:54,469 my wife and I, 507 00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:58,431 for an example, here's exactly what I'm looking for. 508 00:25:58,431 --> 00:26:01,434 It's not just I need I want celebration 509 00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:05,063 and I want your clarification, 510 00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:07,315 but here's exactly how I want them. 511 00:26:07,315 --> 00:26:10,318 I want clarification to look like this. 512 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,029 And then she'll she'll say, care. 513 00:26:13,029 --> 00:26:14,364 Here's exactly what I want. 514 00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:16,449 I want you to listen 515 00:26:16,449 --> 00:26:20,996 and I want you to be interested in the things I'm interested in, 516 00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:21,538 okay? 517 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,622 So that's not just. 518 00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:25,000 Hearing my words, but actually listening. Right? 519 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,960 But yeah, so interested in anything. 520 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:32,716 So then when when she's talking about a friend's daughter 521 00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:35,385 and where I might go. 522 00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:37,387 Yeah, okay. 523 00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:39,556 That's my tendency. 524 00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:41,308 But then to go, okay, stop. 525 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:45,145 We're in a hot tub, We're talking, we're having just conversation. 526 00:26:45,186 --> 00:26:49,608 She wants to go deeper and talk about this other person so she cares. 527 00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:52,736 What is it she cares about? Let me. Let me. 528 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:57,907 So now I'm trying to know because she gave me the code word. 529 00:26:57,991 --> 00:27:01,369 I'm trying to learn and ask questions about what is it 530 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:04,748 that she's concerned about or really cares about with that person. 531 00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:09,586 And by asking a little bit and helping now she feels that I care about 532 00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:11,421 the things she cares about. 533 00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:13,340 Yeah, I think that's really, really great. 534 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:16,593 And again, the stuff we've been talking about, everybody today 535 00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:19,596 applies to all parts of our lives, of course, 536 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:21,431 but I do want to ask this question. 537 00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:23,350 But as people 538 00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:27,187 put their leadership hat on, Jeremy, sort of the last question before. 539 00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:32,484 So we start to roll into the end of our conversation, 540 00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:37,781 What where should we as leaders start here? 541 00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:41,826 And maybe is there are there somewhat 542 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:46,581 common mistakes you see leaders make in relationship to these code words? 543 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:50,126 Is there anything that maybe would be a good place for people to start? 544 00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:50,460 Yeah. 545 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:53,213 So actually in the book, the communication good. 546 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:58,259 The first two chapters go back and it's could be very painful 547 00:27:58,259 --> 00:28:02,097 because you actually take one relationship in your life or maybe two, 548 00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:05,558 and you start looking at you go, What's my 549 00:28:05,642 --> 00:28:08,853 my historical power dynamic been with this person? 550 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:12,107 Have I brought challenge in? No support, 551 00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:14,442 I've been dominating that person. 552 00:28:14,442 --> 00:28:20,240 I've had a negative power play with them, so I've got to make that right. 553 00:28:20,448 --> 00:28:21,116 Right. 554 00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:26,871 And then if I go, well, let me figure out who they are and how they're wired. Now. 555 00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:29,749 The Communication Code. Chapter three. 556 00:28:29,749 --> 00:28:32,585 That gives you a chance to know the words, but then you just go 557 00:28:32,585 --> 00:28:34,379 have a conversation

with them. 558 00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,339 If it's a team, do it together. 559 00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:38,758 We've had teams actually do this. 560 00:28:38,758 --> 00:28:39,759 Kevin We've had teams 561 00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:44,055 go, Let's use a communication code as a system for our team meetings. 562 00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,433 We're going to start with celebration. 563 00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:50,270 What are what do we need to celebrate that happened in the last week. 564 00:28:50,353 --> 00:28:52,188 Little things, high fives. Good job. 565 00:28:52,188 --> 00:28:53,982 Okay, now care. 566 00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:54,774 Everyone doing okay? 567 00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:57,777 Is there anything we need to know in the company or on the team? 568 00:28:57,861 --> 00:29:00,822 Well, you know, Susan's grandfather died. 569 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:01,573 thank you. 570 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,950 Let's send some flowers. 571 00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:05,660 Yeah. Thanks for sharing. 572 00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:08,329 Right. Care. Then we get to into clarity. 573 00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:09,706 Clarification? 574 00:29:09,706 --> 00:29:11,291 Here's what we're working on today. 575 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:14,419 Is everyone clear on kind of what we're doing now? 576 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:16,755 Collaboration. Let's work on it. 577 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,758 By the time you do that, you probably don't even need critique. 578 00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:23,303 There's nothing to critique because you've got an alignment. 579 00:29:23,386 --> 00:29:26,181 So it's a great way for organizations 580 00:29:26,181 --> 00:29:28,850 to use it for organization behavior, 581 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:33,396 but it's also a 1 to 1 tool in the same, right? 582 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,189 I love that. 583 00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:37,650 So couple more questions, Jeremy, before we finish. 584 00:29:37,650 --> 00:29:40,737 And I'm really I'm going to shift gears on us now. 585 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:44,199 So if the expectation is we're going to keep talking about the book, 586 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:45,700 that would be incorrect. 587 00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:49,788 So my question is, so Jeremy, what do you do for fun? 588 00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:52,874 Yeah, so that's I create, 589 00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:56,503 I create I like I actually I like to travel. 590 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:59,255 I like to go. I like ambiance. 591 00:29:59,255 --> 00:30:02,842 I like friends and travel and go to places 592 00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:07,096 and I meet people around the world and I like to create. 593 00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:10,266 So my not just for business, 594 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:14,020 but I like to build concepts and content and that's what I do for fun. 595 00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:17,190 It sounds kind of nerdy, so I'll read a lot. 596 00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:19,067 I'll think a lot. 597 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:22,070 Right now I'm working on

fear based 598 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:26,908 leadership and fear based performance, and I'm learning so much 599 00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:30,203 that it's just fun for me. 600 00:30:30,286 --> 00:30:30,745 I love that. 601 00:30:30,745 --> 00:30:34,833 And you mentioned reading, so what are you reading these days? 602 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:38,545 So right now I'm reading an old book. 603 00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:41,256 It's called A More Excellent Way. 604 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:44,050 And it's this 605 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:46,177 this old 606 00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:50,557 kind of doctor type guy who went around to these communities. 607 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,936 And it's actually he saw how fear, worry, 608 00:30:54,936 --> 00:31:00,733 insecure city affects health and he ties 609 00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:05,446 he ties certain issues like arthritis, bitterness. 610 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:08,449 It's not saying that anyone who has arthritis is better. 611 00:31:08,449 --> 00:31:09,576 That's not it at all. 612 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:13,246 But he's saying that if you do forgiveness exercises, 613 00:31:13,329 --> 00:31:15,790 it actually affects your health. 614 00:31:15,790 --> 00:31:20,211 So I'm just interested in how certain 615 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:23,131 relational issues can actually show up 616 00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:26,509 in physical manifestations. 617 00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:30,972 And it's just kind of an interesting reading right now. 618 00:31:31,055 --> 00:31:35,226 There's no purpose for it other than I'm learning right now what we're. 619 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:37,896 Well, that's a plenty good reason to read. 620 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,522 Everybody is to learn. 621 00:31:39,522 --> 00:31:43,276 And I think that sometimes we need and I need I'll say it for me, 622 00:31:43,484 --> 00:31:47,614 I need to read with a little less purpose 623 00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:49,407 sometimes, you know, although 624 00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:52,035 I think you clearly described that there is a purpose there. 625 00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:53,703 But I think sometimes we all just need 626 00:31:53,703 --> 00:31:57,707 to find something to read that is maybe not in our norm. 627 00:31:57,790 --> 00:32:00,668 You never know what what connections we will draw, which 628 00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:03,755 Jeremy is actually one of the reasons why I always ask this question 629 00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:07,508 of smart people that I meet and why I always ask it on the show. 630 00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:10,303 The question you've most wanted me to ask from the very, very beginning. 631 00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:12,555 Jeremy, is this Where can we learn more? 632 00:32:12,555 --> 00:32:13,890 Where do you want to point people? 633 00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:17,727 Where can people learn more about you, the work, the book, etc.? 634 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:18,519 Well. 635 00:32:18,519 --> 00:32:22,899 So my speaking site and all that is Jeremy Cuban, Kayak.com, 636 00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:25,693 which is hard to spell. There you go. Thank you. 637 00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:28,696 And then Amazon has all our books 638 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:33,076 and Giant Worldwide is our actual business. 639 00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:35,453 And so if you want to find out more about what we do 640 00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:39,499 and how we change the world, then that's what we're to go. 641 00:32:39,582 --> 00:32:42,460 Giant worldwide dot com is where 642 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:45,755 you can go to get that learn about the content that they've created 643 00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:49,425 and the way that they share it and and how it might help you 644 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:52,136 or those around you. So. 645 00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:54,430 Jeremy thanks so much for being here so 646 00:32:54,430 --> 00:32:57,433 super glad to have you back on the show. 647 00:32:57,433 --> 00:33:01,104 But before we say our goodbyes, I've got a question for everyone else 648 00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:02,772 and that question for all of you. 649 00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:05,441 If you've been here before, you know the question 650 00:33:05,441 --> 00:33:07,986 now. What what are you going to do with this? 651 00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:11,906 Maybe you have already identified a relationship 652 00:33:11,906 --> 00:33:13,992 that you feel like these ideas could help you with. 653 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:17,495 Maybe you want to think differently 654 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:21,708 about the expectations that you're setting with someone or someone. 655 00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:25,420 Maybe there's a specific idea that you heard today 656 00:33:25,545 --> 00:33:29,590 that can help you be more effective, whatever that might be. 657 00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:34,429 I'm not going to presume what that is for you, but what I am going to assume 658 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:37,515 is that if you take action on what you learned, rather than just 659 00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:40,810 saying, well, this was good, it will be far more valuable for you. 660 00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:42,395 I hope that you will do that. 661 00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:44,397 And Jeremy, thanks again for being here. 662 00:33:44,397 --> 00:33:46,190 Such a pleasure to have you. 663 00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:47,859 It's a great book. Thanks, Steve. 664 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,570 For me and everybody, I hope that you will go out 665 00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:54,282 and get your copy of the communication code. 666 00:33:54,323 --> 00:33:57,326 Thanks again, Jeremy. Thanks, Kevin. Cheers. 667 00:33:57,368 --> 00:34:00,038 And with that, everybody, 668 00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:00,705 you know that. 669 00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:01,456 We'll be back. 670 00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:02,623 So make sure you come back. 671 00:34:02,623 --> 00:34:05,626 So if you haven't subscribe to the podcast, make sure you do that. 672 00:34:05,626 --> 00:34:09,255 If you just happened to run into me on whatever social channel you're on, 673 00:34:09,255 --> 00:34:13,760 make sure that you follow us there so you get future episodes because we'll be back 674 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,638 next week with another episode of the Remarkable Leadership podcast.