Full Transcript for Plot Twist: Making Changes

world, what should I do? And I find the 00:02:40.289 --> 00:02:43.930 execution difficult. you know, would really like 00:02:43.930 --> 00:02:46.550 to give out a shout out to Michelle and her power 00:02:46.550 --> 00:02:50.729 move in following in following through and just 00:02:50.729 --> 00:02:52.689 being able to execute and make her decision. 00:02:52.849 --> 00:02:54.789 So Michelle, you told me the other day when we 00:02:54.789 --> 00:02:58.110 were discussing the podcast that there were four 00:02:58.110 --> 00:03:01.909 parts of this decision. Yes. Well, at least I 00:03:01.909 --> 00:03:05.370 think there was after I will say, yeah, maybe 00:03:05.370 --> 00:03:09.090 we'll add more. Yeah. Okay. So walk us, walk 00:03:09.090 --> 00:03:11.550 us quickly through the four parts that we're 00:03:11.550 --> 00:03:13.590 going to be exploring in this episode. Okay. 00:03:13.650 --> 00:03:16.009 So I've broken it down. Um, I've named them, 00:03:16.009 --> 00:03:18.430 I don't know if it's the proper name, but, um, 00:03:18.469 --> 00:03:23.030 number one would be like realization. Um, then 00:03:23.030 --> 00:03:27.129 making a plan, the emotional component, because 00:03:27.129 --> 00:03:30.099 I think that gets Not much gets talked about 00:03:30.099 --> 00:03:32.379 that. Like, you know, the emotional part that 00:03:32.379 --> 00:03:35.139 you can go through with this and then the actual 00:03:35.139 --> 00:03:38.099 like taking the step, making the big step, you 00:03:38.099 --> 00:03:41.460 know, taking action. So that's how I've broken 00:03:41.460 --> 00:03:44.759 it down. Great. Would you like to begin? I'm 00:03:44.759 --> 00:03:46.560 excited to hear about it. Yeah. So you mentioned 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:50.219 the first, the first step was realization. Now, 00:03:50.259 --> 00:03:53.360 was this just like one day you woke up and, and 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:55.860 you realized you had to do something or, or was 00:03:55.860 --> 00:03:59.379 this a long time coming? I would think the two 00:03:59.379 --> 00:04:02.500 i think the two so it's a long time coming when 00:04:02.500 --> 00:04:05.800 i'm talking about realization i am thinking about 00:04:05.800 --> 00:04:11.599 like. You know it was a year later i always go 00:04:11.599 --> 00:04:13.639 on vacation where teachers we go on summer break 00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:17.300 and i was visiting my aunt here massachusetts 00:04:17.300 --> 00:04:20.540 and then one year later i realize you know i'm 00:04:20.540 --> 00:04:23.980 exactly in the same spot that i was one year 00:04:23.980 --> 00:04:28.040 ago. Right so it's just like realizing like okay 00:04:28.040 --> 00:04:30.720 nothing's changed and if i started to look back 00:04:30.720 --> 00:04:33.480 it was oh you know it wasn't that much different 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:37.439 the year before either. So coming to that realization 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:40.420 that like hey things are changing and perhaps 00:04:40.420 --> 00:04:44.779 maybe you're not necessarily satisfied and saying 00:04:44.779 --> 00:04:47.339 to yourself will g. I got to do something different. 00:04:47.500 --> 00:04:49.579 You know, you always say, I'm going to do something 00:04:49.579 --> 00:04:51.540 different, but maybe you don't actually go through 00:04:51.540 --> 00:04:54.279 it. And then, you know, saying to myself, like, 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:57.839 OK, if I want different results, I have to do 00:04:57.839 --> 00:04:59.920 something different. I have to take different 00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:05.560 action steps. And so, yeah, you you would say 00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:08.319 that it was this trip you took the summer going 00:05:08.319 --> 00:05:10.579 back to Massachusetts to see your aunt, which 00:05:10.579 --> 00:05:13.290 you had taken the previous summer. And when you 00:05:13.290 --> 00:05:15.569 were there, you realized, I'm in the same place 00:05:15.569 --> 00:05:17.470 in my life and I don't want to be here anymore. 00:05:18.670 --> 00:05:21.170 Exactly. Exactly. Like, and then I look back 00:05:21.170 --> 00:05:23.269 and it's like, what did I do differently? And 00:05:23.269 --> 00:05:27.069 what has happened that's different? And I, my 00:05:27.069 --> 00:05:30.490 answer was nothing, right? Like zero, nothing 00:05:30.490 --> 00:05:34.750 changed, right? Yeah. It was like i gotta do 00:05:34.750 --> 00:05:37.449 something different or if i don't next year i'll 00:05:37.449 --> 00:05:39.589 be back here again and that's what i didn't want 00:05:39.589 --> 00:05:42.230 i didn't want a whole year to go by and be like 00:05:42.230 --> 00:05:46.500 in the exact same spot. Right. And how many of 00:05:46.500 --> 00:05:49.220 us like that's been my life, like all my 30s 00:05:49.220 --> 00:05:51.540 come in the same spot one year later, I still 00:05:51.540 --> 00:05:53.879 don't know what the hell I'm doing. Exactly. 00:05:54.139 --> 00:05:56.500 And it was like, okay, I can't do this again. 00:05:56.680 --> 00:05:58.259 You know, I'm a little older than you, you know, 00:05:58.379 --> 00:06:02.439 tick tock, tick tock times a tick in here. So 00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:05.439 would you say, okay, like you're comparing what 00:06:05.439 --> 00:06:07.120 you felt this year to what you felt last year. 00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:09.560 So in between last year and this year, was this 00:06:09.560 --> 00:06:12.879 realization still like, happening like this past 00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:17.569 year? Yeah. you know, um, you know, I would wake 00:06:17.569 --> 00:06:19.610 up every day, not every day, but I would wake 00:06:19.610 --> 00:06:22.850 up and like, you know, or my weekends or whatever 00:06:22.850 --> 00:06:24.550 it may be and just be like, okay, what's going 00:06:24.550 --> 00:06:26.709 on here? What am I doing different? How can I 00:06:26.709 --> 00:06:32.990 change this? You know, um, like, um, my situation 00:06:32.990 --> 00:06:38.149 wasn't like mentally, I guess,

satisfying. or 00:06:38.149 --> 00:06:42.029 I would say like maybe even financially, like 00:06:42.029 --> 00:06:45.410 mental financially, I was not, not mentally, 00:06:45.790 --> 00:06:47.829 two different things, mental and financial, no. 00:06:48.529 --> 00:06:53.930 I wasn't satisfied, right? So although my job 00:06:53.930 --> 00:06:57.509 was a fabulous job and I thoroughly enjoyed where 00:06:57.509 --> 00:06:59.350 I worked and the people that I work with, shout 00:06:59.350 --> 00:07:00.730 out to all the people that I work with. Thank 00:07:00.730 --> 00:07:06.379 you, hello. And I miss you all dearly. financially, 00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:11.339 it just, you know, wasn't cutting it. So I had 00:07:11.339 --> 00:07:13.579 that. And then like, when I talk about mental, 00:07:13.860 --> 00:07:18.360 I like, just, you know, I don't know, or like, 00:07:18.420 --> 00:07:20.759 socially, like engagement, doing what I wanted 00:07:20.759 --> 00:07:24.399 to do, or I just couldn't, I couldn't find what 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:27.879 it is that I needed. So, you know, I needed to 00:07:27.879 --> 00:07:30.379 make a change. So realization is what I'm hearing. 00:07:30.459 --> 00:07:32.879 It was like, it was kind of like a long time 00:07:32.879 --> 00:07:35.410 coming. And you did sort of have this moment 00:07:35.410 --> 00:07:39.699 where the light switch flips a little bit. And 00:07:39.699 --> 00:07:41.740 I tried different things. I don't want everybody 00:07:41.740 --> 00:07:43.839 to think like, oh, she didn't do anything. She 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:46.639 just like, you know, no, no, no, no. I, you know, 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:48.740 this was happening over time. And so I would 00:07:48.740 --> 00:07:51.420 do things differently. Maybe I would try. I don't 00:07:51.420 --> 00:07:53.740 know if I wanted, you know, let's look for different 00:07:53.740 --> 00:07:56.439 events to attend, you know, cultural events or 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:59.379 whatever. Let's do that so I can fill that void 00:07:59.379 --> 00:08:01.720 or whatever it is that I was missing. Or, you 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:04.660 know, I'm going to try this. And so I was taking 00:08:04.660 --> 00:08:07.620 little action steps, but it wasn't, you know, 00:08:07.939 --> 00:08:12.319 meeting what it is that I needed. And then financially 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:15.339 I couldn't control that either because my options 00:08:15.339 --> 00:08:20.560 are limited as far as getting a raise or finding 00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:23.319 another teaching job that's gonna pay me more 00:08:23.319 --> 00:08:27.500 where I was. That wasn't gonna happen. Okay, 00:08:27.639 --> 00:08:30.360 so you weren't fulfilled in a few different areas. 00:08:30.660 --> 00:08:33.419 Exactly. And you were realizing that over time 00:08:33.419 --> 00:08:36.399 and then you took this trip and you realized 00:08:36.950 --> 00:08:43.009 boom, this wasn't like one year later. So, okay, 00:08:43.009 --> 00:08:45.309 you had this realization. Okay, so many people, 00:08:45.570 --> 00:08:47.470 I think, including me, like you have realizations, 00:08:47.490 --> 00:08:49.769 and you kind of just stay where you are. And 00:08:49.769 --> 00:08:51.789 you don't really do anything about it. And that's 00:08:51.789 --> 00:08:54.029 why it comes back year after year after year. 00:08:54.149 --> 00:08:57.179 Yeah. So your next step you said was Making a 00:08:57.179 --> 00:08:59.679 plan yeah you know this is super important i 00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:01.480 think this is the most important thing i think 00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:03.559 we like you said we all have these realizations 00:09:03.559 --> 00:09:07.059 but last year when i was in the same room in 00:09:07.059 --> 00:09:09.539 the same spot you know i was talking to my aunt 00:09:09.539 --> 00:09:11.779 and i asked her some questions like how do you 00:09:11.779 --> 00:09:14.960 know like what do i do and my aunt was like well 00:09:14.960 --> 00:09:17.299 whatever you decide because these decisions are 00:09:17.299 --> 00:09:22.259 hard she was like you need a plan. And that is 00:09:22.259 --> 00:09:24.419 the most important thing you need to make a plan 00:09:24.419 --> 00:09:27.740 and when i was like boom i need to do something 00:09:27.740 --> 00:09:30.039 i was like okay i need a plan gonna make a plan 00:09:30.039 --> 00:09:32.960 and i made the plan on the spot it was like this 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:36.240 is my plan i'm gonna apply for jobs because i 00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:38.500 would think my plan if you're gonna move if you're 00:09:38.500 --> 00:09:40.419 gonna do something you need to be able to support 00:09:40.419 --> 00:09:42.659 yourself financially and i think we talked about 00:09:42.659 --> 00:09:45.429 that in an episode. you know, last season about 00:09:45.429 --> 00:09:47.929 if you're thinking about moving abroad or, you 00:09:47.929 --> 00:09:50.970 know, uh, you know, transplanting yourself, you 00:09:50.970 --> 00:09:52.850 need to be able to support yourself financially. 00:09:53.070 --> 00:09:57.090 So my first step in the plan was I need a job, 00:09:57.090 --> 00:10:00.230 right? So that's what I did. I started looking 00:10:00.230 --> 00:10:05.929 for jobs immediately. Okay. And how did you feel 00:10:05.929 --> 00:10:09.929 in that process? Like, did you know, okay, was 00:10:09.929 --> 00:10:12.840 your plan to once you got a job? like you knew 00:10:12.840 --> 00:10:16.279 you were going to move or were there other options 00:10:16.279 --> 00:10:22.620 as well? Well, I feel that I've had exhausted 00:10:22.620 --> 00:10:28.000 my options where I was. OK. So and I didn't see, 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:32.080 you know, other opportunities financially for 00:10:32.080 --> 00:10:36.500 me over there. So I said, you know, it was a 00:10:36.500 --> 00:10:38.820 last minute. Dang it was like my plan was like 00:10:38.820 --> 00:10:40.620 i had the realization i'm like

okay i'm gonna 00:10:40.620 --> 00:10:42.700 get my plan is to get a job so i just started 00:10:42.700 --> 00:10:46.700 looking for jobs and i was like i'm gonna see 00:10:46.700 --> 00:10:48.840 what i can i was only here for two weeks i was 00:10:48.840 --> 00:10:51.000 like let me see what i can find in two weeks 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:54.240 and i everyday i set a goal i woke up everyday 00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:56.100 and that's another part of the plan you have 00:10:56.100 --> 00:10:59.559 to set goals for yourself what is your goal for 00:10:59.559 --> 00:11:02.419 today. You know, like, what do you want to accomplish? 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:05.279 You made a plan. Now you got to achieve it. How 00:11:05.279 --> 00:11:07.720 are you going to achieve it? And, you know, set 00:11:07.720 --> 00:11:09.799 goals. You can't say, oh, I'll do it tomorrow. 00:11:10.139 --> 00:11:11.860 So every day I was like, I got to be productive. 00:11:11.899 --> 00:11:14.539 I got to do something. And every day I went out 00:11:14.539 --> 00:11:16.720 and I was looking for a job, you know, LinkedIn, 00:11:17.259 --> 00:11:20.059 putting my resume out there, updating my resume. 00:11:20.139 --> 00:11:21.700 I mean, you have to start with that updating 00:11:21.700 --> 00:11:24.200 information and like, you know, just putting 00:11:24.200 --> 00:11:26.320 yourself out there and letting people know as 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:29.929 well, like, hey, you know, I'm looking for a 00:11:29.929 --> 00:11:31.769 job. And that's like another aspect of the whole 00:11:31.769 --> 00:11:36.129 shock. But you know, just putting, you know, 00:11:36.250 --> 00:11:38.870 setting those goals and working towards whatever 00:11:38.870 --> 00:11:41.529 it may be that you need to do that day. So your 00:11:41.529 --> 00:11:43.769 plan at the beginning had one thing, get a job, 00:11:43.990 --> 00:11:45.750 get a job. That was the most important because 00:11:45.750 --> 00:11:48.009 obviously I'm moving internationally, so I need 00:11:48.009 --> 00:11:50.269 to support myself financially. And I have two 00:11:50.269 --> 00:11:52.610 kids in college. Hello, I got to pay for college. 00:11:54.359 --> 00:11:57.399 Okay, so step two, you make a plan. It could 00:11:57.399 --> 00:11:59.440 be one thing. It could, I guess, in some cases 00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:01.639 be more than one thing, but yours was like to 00:12:01.639 --> 00:12:04.720 get a job in Massachusetts. Yeah, no, it was 00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:07.620 more in detail. Sorry. The first and most important 00:12:07.620 --> 00:12:11.009 thing on my plan was get a job. And then, you 00:12:11.009 --> 00:12:14.029 know, I had other steps like, OK, that if I get 00:12:14.029 --> 00:12:16.649 a job, then what? You know, like I got to move 00:12:16.649 --> 00:12:18.389 and I got to, you know, talk to my husband and 00:12:18.389 --> 00:12:20.730 I got it. You know, there's many things that 00:12:20.730 --> 00:12:23.350 go into that. But,

you know, you have to prioritize. 00:12:23.490 --> 00:12:26.149 And before you can even take any action, you 00:12:26.149 --> 00:12:28.750 have to get the most crucial element of your 00:12:28.750 --> 00:12:31.929 plan accomplished, which is OK for me. Get a 00:12:31.929 --> 00:12:34.309 job. And the key to do that was to just kind 00:12:34.309 --> 00:12:38.870 of set little goals each day. Yeah. And OK. Yeah, 00:12:38.889 --> 00:12:41.950 yeah. Got it. Yeah. All right. Now the emotional 00:12:41.950 --> 00:12:44.769 component, should we talk about that now or should 00:12:44.769 --> 00:12:46.870 we? Oh, that was hard. The emotional component. 00:12:46.870 --> 00:12:49.129 Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of things that go 00:12:49.129 --> 00:12:51.889 on there. I mean, because you go through so many 00:12:51.889 --> 00:12:56.830 emotions, like, you know, first of all, the realization 00:12:56.830 --> 00:13:01.789 part perhaps brings sadness, frustration, right? 00:13:02.049 --> 00:13:04.850 Because you realize it's a year later or maybe 00:13:04.850 --> 00:13:07.769 it's two years or maybe it's three years and 00:13:07.769 --> 00:13:11.700 you're in the exact same situation or same place 00:13:11.700 --> 00:13:15.220 and nothing has really changed, right? So you 00:13:15.220 --> 00:13:17.840 experience, you know, sadness, you're frustrated, 00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:20.340 you're mad, you're angry, you're disappointed 00:13:20.340 --> 00:13:23.200 in yourself. There's like an array of emotions 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:27.840 that can go into that. And then, you know, there's 00:13:27.840 --> 00:13:31.279 also like scared. You're scared because you are 00:13:31.279 --> 00:13:34.580 now like completely changing something in your 00:13:34.580 --> 00:13:37.350 life that you've been doing. You've been living 00:13:37.350 --> 00:13:39.590 a certain way or doing things a certain way and 00:13:39.590 --> 00:13:42.129 now all of a sudden you're going to you're taking 00:13:42.129 --> 00:13:45.389 a chance. You know there's uncertainty you're 00:13:45.389 --> 00:13:48.110 nervous you're scared you don't you know but 00:13:48.110 --> 00:13:51.950 then at the same time. You're like excited and 00:13:51.950 --> 00:13:55.149 you're happy and you know you're looking forward 00:13:55.149 --> 00:13:58.009 to something again you know like okay you know 00:13:58.009 --> 00:14:02.429 i'm going to do this but then. You know you cycle 00:14:02.429 --> 00:14:05.250 through these emotions. You know then you might 00:14:05.250 --> 00:14:07.110 go back to scared or you might go back to being 00:14:07.110 --> 00:14:10.470 angry might be frustrated with yourself or nervous 00:14:10.470 --> 00:14:12.809 again like and then you're gonna have self doubt 00:14:12.809 --> 00:14:17.190 like maybe i shouldn't be sure you know so. Which 00:14:17.190 --> 00:14:18.990 of those emotions would you say was the most 00:14:18.990 --> 00:14:21.750 prominent for you. I don't know what the hell 00:14:21.750 --> 00:14:27.289 i'm doing confused am i doing the self doubt 00:14:27.289 --> 00:14:30.009 am i doing the right thing is the right thing 00:14:30.009 --> 00:14:33.559 but you know. When you're making the plan or 00:14:33.559 --> 00:14:36.179 the emotional component, you sit down and you 00:14:36.179 --> 00:14:39.620 weigh, you've heard of those things, the pros 00:14:39.620 --> 00:14:43.379 and the cons. You make that list. Did you make 00:14:43.379 --> 00:14:46.179 a list? Oh, yeah. I have it written down four 00:14:46.179 --> 00:14:49.000 or five times. I did make it just one time. I 00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:51.899 reviewed because I would cycle in between, am 00:14:51.899 --> 00:14:53.559 I doing this? Am I not doing this? Should I do 00:14:53.559 --> 00:14:56.220 this? Should I? Because nobody knows. Nobody's 00:14:56.220 --> 00:14:58.120 going to want to give you, I go to you, Karen. 00:14:58.120 --> 00:14:59.500 Karen, what do you think? Do you think I should 00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:02.250 do this? The person is not gonna be like i'm 00:15:02.250 --> 00:15:04.190 not gonna tell you a definite answer because 00:15:04.190 --> 00:15:06.409 you know i don't want to be responsible for that 00:15:06.409 --> 00:15:10.549 nonsense like you told me you know. And so you 00:15:10.549 --> 00:15:12.850 know they just give you general advice you should 00:15:12.850 --> 00:15:15.289 do this you should i mean in the end you are 00:15:15.289 --> 00:15:17.250 the one that has to make the final decision. 00:15:18.090 --> 00:15:21.950 Right so that list i made it multiple times yeah 00:15:21.950 --> 00:15:24.389 multiple times because i had been in my job for 00:15:24.389 --> 00:15:26.830 fourteen years and i was comfortable there and 00:15:26.830 --> 00:15:28.789 you know i was comfortable doing what it is that 00:15:28.789 --> 00:15:35.259 i was doing but. I was not, you know, being challenged 00:15:35.259 --> 00:15:38.740 or it wasn't meeting my personal goals. Right. 00:15:38.840 --> 00:15:42.960 So I had better or not better. I had bigger aspirations 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:46.139 for myself. So, yeah. And I guess that self doubt, 00:15:46.179 --> 00:15:48.919 like that's still there, even though you've gone 00:15:48.919 --> 00:15:51.539 through with it. You've made the decision. You're 00:15:51.539 --> 00:15:55.059 not sure I got a long way to go. Yeah. Yeah. 00:15:55.059 --> 00:15:57.399 And now would you say like the sadness, anger, 00:15:57.460 --> 00:16:00.149 fear, frustration has that like, Disappeared 00:16:00.149 --> 00:16:02.090 a little bit are you more in that like excited 00:16:02.090 --> 00:16:05.710 happy face i am in the more in that phase but 00:16:05.710 --> 00:16:08.909 um you know the nervousness because like i just 00:16:08.909 --> 00:16:11.610 said i i'm not i have not completed the process 00:16:11.610 --> 00:16:16.070 right i'm in in the thick of things here and 00:16:16.070 --> 00:16:20.440 you know so. there's

excitement because new things 00:16:20.440 --> 00:16:23.879 are happening. But then at the same time, you 00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:25.740 know, there's still the nervousness is this all 00:16:25.740 --> 00:16:27.460 going to work out? What about if this doesn't 00:16:27.460 --> 00:16:29.340 work? Or what about if I don't like this? Or 00:16:29.340 --> 00:16:31.620 you know, what about there's like so many what 00:16:31.620 --> 00:16:34.639 ifs, but you know, you got to keep positive and 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:38.600 yeah, and I'd like to point out, I think these 00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:41.759 emotions would be there. If even if you stayed 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:44.759 in Panama. Right, because I think you would still 00:16:44.759 --> 00:16:46.799 be feeling all of these things and having that 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.059 self doubt if you did the right thing by saying, 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:51.480 so I think no matter what, sometimes when we 00:16:51.480 --> 00:16:53.639 make these big decisions, we have these decisions, 00:16:53.980 --> 00:16:58.159 we have these emotions, no matter which way we 00:16:58.159 --> 00:17:02.480 go. Yeah, I mean, and, you know, then there's 00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:05.539 the also the, you know, scared phase, like, I'm 00:17:05.539 --> 00:17:07.380 not going to do it because what about if it doesn't 00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:10.720 work out, you know, what about if things fail, 00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:13.400 but then If you don't do it, you might end up 00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:17.220 with that idea of regret, like, oh, you know, 00:17:17.339 --> 00:17:19.480 10 years later, you're still in the same spot. 00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:22.799 Yeah. Or a few years later, you're you're, you 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:24.839 know, as time goes by, you're in the same spot. 00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:28.079 So you might have regret. But then again, I don't 00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:29.680 know, it could be a personality thing. I mean, 00:17:30.019 --> 00:17:31.920 it takes a you know, for a person to pick up 00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:35.180 and move internationally. You know, we talked 00:17:35.180 --> 00:17:37.339 about that, that I don't think everybody can 00:17:37.339 --> 00:17:42.670 do that. No. you know and and so props to us 00:17:42.670 --> 00:17:45.450 yeah exactly and anybody who does that you know 00:17:45.450 --> 00:17:48.650 and i just i think you know even doing what i 00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:52.170 did which was really radical you know i i mean 00:17:52.170 --> 00:17:54.710 i picked up 25 years ago and moved to panama 00:17:54.710 --> 00:18:00.029 so yeah you know i don't know it's like there 00:18:00.029 --> 00:18:03.970 i guess i don't know yeah and i think you always 00:18:03.970 --> 00:18:06.049 wonder like if you're doing the right thing you 00:18:06.049 --> 00:18:09.329 know i've been abroad this is My 10th year that 00:18:09.329 --> 00:18:11.210 I'm going on starting living abroad. I can't 00:18:11.210 --> 00:18:12.930 even believe it and I'm still like, should I? 00:18:13.309 --> 00:18:16.309 Wow Yeah, I was three years in Italy and now 00:18:16.309 --> 00:18:19.630 I'm starting my seventh year in Panama and I 00:18:19.630 --> 00:18:23.869 think I'm still wondering Did I do the right 00:18:23.869 --> 00:18:25.970 thing leaving New Jersey? Did I do the right 00:18:25.970 --> 00:18:28.769 thing? Leaving Italy. Am I in the right place? 00:18:28.849 --> 00:18:31.410 What should I do? Where should I go? And these 00:18:31.410 --> 00:18:35.150 emotions are constant but I also think had I 00:18:35.150 --> 00:18:36.809 stayed in the same job in New Jersey I would 00:18:36.809 --> 00:18:38.970 have been like I think I would have been much 00:18:38.970 --> 00:18:45.349 more bored as an emotion and not feeling. I think 00:18:45.349 --> 00:18:46.990 no matter where you go, you're going to end up 00:18:46.990 --> 00:18:51.430 fine. And I remember my old principal's wife, 00:18:51.430 --> 00:18:53.690 I went out with her in Rome one time and she 00:18:53.690 --> 00:18:57.470 said to me, it's just a school year. Like a school 00:18:57.470 --> 00:19:00.569 year is nine months. Well, in Panama, it's longer 00:19:00.569 --> 00:19:05.609 than that, but it's like September to June. Is 00:19:05.609 --> 00:19:07.130 that 10 months? Okay. I don't know. Not a math 00:19:07.130 --> 00:19:10.750 teacher, but, but yeah, I think she said nine 00:19:10.750 --> 00:19:12.450 months. I don't know, but like, but whatever. 00:19:13.230 --> 00:19:16.289 Yeah. It's like, that's nothing. You can always 00:19:16.289 --> 00:19:21.089 make a change. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Um, it's 00:19:21.089 --> 00:19:23.009 10 months. Exactly. It is 10 months. I just counted 00:19:23.009 --> 00:19:26.049 on my fingers, but it's 10 months. And in that 00:19:26.049 --> 00:19:29.630 time, anything you can always change back. And 00:19:29.630 --> 00:19:31.970 that, that's just given me a different perspective. 00:19:31.970 --> 00:19:34.309 So when I say yes to another year here, I'm like, 00:19:34.410 --> 00:19:39.640 okay, 10 months. Yeah, exactly. So, okay. Okay, 00:19:39.859 --> 00:19:43.420 so the last step, take action step number four. 00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:45.740 Okay, so you had the realization you made your 00:19:45.740 --> 00:19:48.400 plan, right? You've walked us through the emotions. 00:19:48.940 --> 00:19:53.079 Now, executing, executing and when you go to 00:19:53.079 --> 00:19:55.359 execute, like you're like, wow, I can't believe 00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:57.799 I just did that. Right. Because I was like, well, 00:19:57.859 --> 00:20:00.000 I need to get a job. So let me send out my resume. 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.960 Well, obviously I had to fix it up and all that. 00:20:02.279 --> 00:20:05.720 Um, but yeah, that is what I did. But I got to 00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:07.740 tell you when I, you know, I went on LinkedIn 00:20:07.740 --> 00:20:11.319 and, or did I go on LinkedIn? Well, I went on 00:20:11.319

--> 00:20:13.779 to different websites and yeah, I did do it LinkedIn. 00:20:14.220 --> 00:20:17.299 Um, and I updated my resume, but when I sent 00:20:17.299 --> 00:20:21.009 out my resume, I was like, wow. it's like empowering, 00:20:21.609 --> 00:20:24.210 like, yeah, did it, like, wow, I'm doing it, 00:20:24.230 --> 00:20:26.430 like, I'm in it, like, I did it, and I'm doing 00:20:26.430 --> 00:20:29.170 it, you know, and I'm like, and you feel good. 00:20:29.349 --> 00:20:33.069 Yeah, you're like, yeah, I, this is, I can do 00:20:33.069 --> 00:20:35.710 this, I can do this, you know, because if you 00:20:35.710 --> 00:20:38.269 look at the big picture, you know, you might 00:20:38.269 --> 00:20:40.529 get like overwhelmed, or it might seem daunting. 00:20:40.890 --> 00:20:43.730 Yes. So it's like, I think another key component 00:20:43.730 --> 00:20:47.269 is like, you know, making your goal for the day 00:20:47.269 --> 00:20:50.329 or, you know, Get through today what is it that 00:20:50.329 --> 00:20:53.589 you need to do today to accomplish whatever and 00:20:53.589 --> 00:20:57.269 not necessarily like looking at the whole big 00:20:57.269 --> 00:20:59.970 thing because then you might get like overwhelms 00:20:59.970 --> 00:21:03.349 and you might like feel like I can't do this. 00:21:03.750 --> 00:21:06.150 Yeah you know experts say that I'm no expert 00:21:06.150 --> 00:21:10.549 like don't necessarily like look at like. Wait 00:21:10.549 --> 00:21:13.470 down the road because you like you might just 00:21:13.470 --> 00:21:16.950 like. scare yourself out of making the decision. 00:21:17.289 --> 00:21:19.910 Yeah, execution can be as simple as actually 00:21:19.910 --> 00:21:24.670 just getting like clicking send when you apply 00:21:24.670 --> 00:21:27.410 for a job or send an email or clicking submit. 00:21:27.410 --> 00:21:30.369 It's not just actually taking there's execution 00:21:30.369 --> 00:21:33.009 along the way. It's doing the small things like 00:21:33.009 --> 00:21:34.470 following through on the small things like, yes, 00:21:34.470 --> 00:21:37.450 I'm going to update my resume and yes, I'm going 00:21:37.450 --> 00:21:40.130 to apply to this job. And obviously the biggest 00:21:40.130 --> 00:21:43.170 part of the execution is saying, yes, I'm going 00:21:43.170 --> 00:21:47.450 to go. Exactly. And in that, yes, I'm going to 00:21:47.450 --> 00:21:50.369 go, you have to, I mean, you come to the realization 00:21:50.369 --> 00:21:53.349 that, you know, that's the emotional tube that 00:21:53.349 --> 00:21:56.009 you have to let go, you're going to be making 00:21:56.009 --> 00:21:59.829 radical changes. You have to let go of things 00:21:59.829 --> 00:22:04.509 that you are accustomed to doing, right? And 00:22:04.509 --> 00:22:06.970 patterns that you've established for yourself. 00:22:07.609 --> 00:22:13.789 And that can be scary, too. You know, I how did 00:22:13.789 --> 00:22:16.750 you go ahead? Good. No, go ahead. I

was just 00:22:16.750 --> 00:22:18.470 like, how did you get yourself to actually just 00:22:18.470 --> 00:22:22.670 like do it though? Like once you okay, so you 00:22:22.670 --> 00:22:25.849 got this job Well, yes, you could have easily 00:22:25.849 --> 00:22:28.089 been like no like I'm already or no, I don't 00:22:28.089 --> 00:22:31.549 want to go or no like what Made you know that 00:22:31.549 --> 00:22:33.470 you were ready to do it. Well, I think I think 00:22:33.470 --> 00:22:37.579 it's because it goes back to realization, like, 00:22:37.779 --> 00:22:42.859 it was another year. And although I loved my 00:22:42.859 --> 00:22:48.200 job, I felt like I had accomplished what I needed 00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:53.539 to accomplish where I was. Okay. And so I guess 00:22:53.539 --> 00:22:56.279 for my type of personality, I need to always 00:22:56.279 --> 00:23:01.259 be striving for something. Okay, I feel I didn't 00:23:01.259 --> 00:23:05.440 have anything else to strive for. There was Like 00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:08.819 I didn't feel like you know, it was just it was 00:23:08.819 --> 00:23:10.940 kind of like what you had said one time when 00:23:10.940 --> 00:23:13.579 you took your International job. I didn't want 00:23:13.579 --> 00:23:17.480 to be in a position or in the same school doing 00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:21.180 the same thing For your whole entire life like 00:23:21.180 --> 00:23:23.980 you didn't want those teachers that was like 00:23:23.980 --> 00:23:27.359 and I felt like perhaps That was what was going 00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:30.900 to happen to me. Okay Does that make sense? Yeah, 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:38.059 yeah, definitely. Definitely. So and also, you 00:23:38.059 --> 00:23:41.500 know, I needed more money. Sorry. I have two 00:23:41.500 --> 00:23:46.140 kids in college again. Yeah. And you know that 00:23:46.140 --> 00:23:49.099 I can't that that was out of my control. So and, 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:52.119 you know, local hires are different from foreign 00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:56.059 hires. Right. And Michelle was a local because, 00:23:56.259 --> 00:23:58.819 well, she had been living there. She got the 00:23:58.819 --> 00:24:03.039 job. Yeah. So, all right, let me ask you something. 00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:06.440 Out of those four steps, which step do you think 00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:11.039 was the most hard? Like, which step was the hardest? 00:24:11.079 --> 00:24:12.920 Which step do you think people are most likely 00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:17.859 to get stuck? I think the emotional component. 00:24:18.259 --> 00:24:22.619 Okay. Because you cycle in and out of, of that, 00:24:22.619 --> 00:24:24.759 like, I don't think I can do this, I want to 00:24:24.759 --> 00:24:27.490 do this. And then you start looking at like all 00:24:27.490 --> 00:24:29.029 the things that you need to do, like when you're 00:24:29.029 --> 00:24:30.849 making your plan, like you need this, you need 00:24:30.849 --> 00:24:32.309 that, you need to get a job, you need a place 00:24:32.309 --> 00:24:37.470 to live, a car, you need like, I don't know, 00:24:37.470 --> 00:24:39.170 you need to go to find the supermarket, whatever 00:24:39.170 --> 00:24:42.410 it may be. Like all these things, just like you, 00:24:42.450 --> 00:24:44.109 when you move internationally, yeah, you have 00:24:44.109 --> 00:24:45.890 all these things that you need to do. You need 00:24:45.890 --> 00:24:51.430 the banking and all that. And it can be overwhelming. 00:24:55.080 --> 00:24:58.059 Yeah i think that and then you just can't do 00:24:58.059 --> 00:25:01.319 this i can do this and so i think the emotional 00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:03.839 and then knowing like the realization also that 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:06.200 you're gonna actually do it leaving where you 00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:12.630 are and having yeah you know. What advice would 00:25:12.630 --> 00:25:15.329 you give to kind of keep those emotions in check? 00:25:15.509 --> 00:25:17.470 Or like, do you recommend you just feel them 00:25:17.470 --> 00:25:19.150 and you work through them? Like what advice do 00:25:19.150 --> 00:25:21.609 you have for that? I let myself feel them. I 00:25:21.609 --> 00:25:25.890 cried. I was angry. I'm excited. I'm happy. Pissed 00:25:25.890 --> 00:25:31.329 off. Yeah. You know, at myself, you know, frustrated 00:25:31.329 --> 00:25:34.690 with myself. Yeah. I think you have to like, 00:25:34.769 --> 00:25:38.309 you know, as the experts say, give yourself grace. 00:25:39.220 --> 00:25:42.099 And the one advice I would say that everybody 00:25:42.099 --> 00:25:45.880 should do is have a plan. Make a plan. The advice 00:25:45.880 --> 00:25:49.440 that my aunts, my Auntie Gloria gave me. Shout 00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:51.519 out to Auntie Gloria. We're getting her on the 00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:55.980 podcast soon. Make a plan. Okay. Before you even 00:25:55.980 --> 00:25:58.740 kind of make the decision to do it. This was 00:25:58.740 --> 00:26:00.799 not like I'm going to jump into things now. This 00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:03.740 was a plan. Make a plan. Make a plan. Have a 00:26:03.740 --> 00:26:07.920 plan. Well, Michelle, you've made a power move. 00:26:08.109 --> 00:26:11.049 Power move. I mean, I just got to give it up 00:26:11.049 --> 00:26:15.109 to you because I think it's really difficult 00:26:15.109 --> 00:26:18.309 to leave where you are when where you are is 00:26:18.309 --> 00:26:21.390 good and you're comfortable and you're generally 00:26:21.390 --> 00:26:25.890 happy and there's nothing that bad about it, 00:26:25.890 --> 00:26:30.190 right? Yeah. But to realize that there's something 00:26:30.190 --> 00:26:32.789 more for you and to follow that, I think that's 00:26:32.789 --> 00:26:38.240 so hard to do. Yes, yes. But I think, but you 00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:41.460 as a person will be fulfilled. And I think that's 00:26:41.460 --> 00:26:46.339 important for everyone, you know, I agree. I 00:26:46.339 -->

00:26:49.160 mean, yeah, take care of yourself. Yes. Yeah. 00:26:49.160 --> 00:26:51.599 Yeah. And I think I can relate because I've done 00:26:51.599 --> 00:26:54.779 this too, obviously, picking up and leaving everything 00:26:54.779 --> 00:26:57.539 and moving somewhere with nobody and nothing 00:26:57.539 --> 00:27:01.119 and just kind of landing on my feet and being 00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:05.650 okay. Yeah. And it's not easy but I think it's 00:27:05.650 --> 00:27:07.930 worth it because you don't have that what if 00:27:07.930 --> 00:27:11.750 like what if I did this or yeah and you I don't 00:27:11.750 --> 00:27:14.829 know I feel like you can always go back to where 00:27:14.829 --> 00:27:17.950 you were you know like you can always return 00:27:17.950 --> 00:27:21.750 to where you were exactly well I hope my old 00:27:21.750 --> 00:27:24.849 job would have me back if I had to reapply I 00:27:24.849 --> 00:27:30.829 don't know And as a friend, I mean, I miss you. 00:27:30.890 --> 00:27:32.569 That's what I tell people at work. I'm like, 00:27:32.730 --> 00:27:34.910 I miss you, obviously, but I'm like, I'm very 00:27:34.910 --> 00:27:38.509 proud of you because how difficult it is at, 00:27:38.509 --> 00:27:43.130 you know, when you're the, you know, we're both 00:27:43.130 --> 00:27:44.829 what middle age. We determined to that in our 00:27:44.829 --> 00:27:47.269 last episode on 40 now, you know, like, but just 00:27:47.269 --> 00:27:50.130 to like make, make it great. I don't even know 00:27:50.130 --> 00:27:52.589 how old I am. Make a decision like that in our 00:27:52.589 --> 00:27:55.670 lives and to just follow it and to listen to 00:27:55.670 --> 00:27:59.470 that intuition and listen to everything. So what 00:27:59.470 --> 00:28:00.930 advice do you have? What parting words do you 00:28:00.930 --> 00:28:05.789 have for our listeners? Make a plan. Make a plan. 00:28:06.089 --> 00:28:09.009 Make a plan. All right. If you're in there, if 00:28:09.009 --> 00:28:12.609 you're thinking about it, make a plan and go 00:28:12.609 --> 00:28:15.430 with it, you know, as long as you have your plan. 00:28:15.910 --> 00:28:19.309 No rush decisions. Yeah. Give yourself a year 00:28:19.309 --> 00:28:24.289 or five. Exactly. Whatever it is. All right, 00:28:24.369 --> 00:28:28.589 Michelle. Thanks. Thanks for sharing your story. 00:28:28.930 --> 00:28:32.769 Yeah. And I miss you all greatly. We miss you 00:28:32.769 --> 00:28:40.230 too. See you next episode. All right then. Ciao. 00:28:40.630 --> 00:28:44.410 Until next time. Bye. Congratulations. and thanks 00:28:44.410 --> 00:28:47.150 for listening. We really appreciate it. You made 00:28:47.150 --> 00:28:51.549 it to the end. There we go. Remember to follow 00:28:51.549 --> 00:28:54.069 our show and comment below. And if you really 00:28:54.069 --> 00:28:56.549 liked us, connect with us on social media at 00:28:56.549 --> 00:28:59.170 the Nobody Talks About It podcast. Until next 00:28:59.170 --> 00:28:59.849 time, bye.