TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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At Jack Benny's Beverly Hills home, the refreshments are under
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close inspection from Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Kenny Baker, and
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the rest of the household. Then, the Jack Benny program
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moves into a boxing film spoof, with Jack as Killer Benny,
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the Waukegan Wildcat, facing Kenny Baker's Kid Baker, the Glendale Assassin.
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From November 6th, 1938, this NBC Red Network broadcast was
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written by Bill Morrow and Ed Boulogne, with Don Wilson,
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Eddie Anderson, and Cliff Nazaro also on hand. Ladies and gentlemen,
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it is the Jack Benny program in The Crowd Roars.
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Here is the original broadcast.
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J-E-L-L-O The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston,
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Phil Harris, Kenny Baker, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The
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orchestra opens the program with The Riddle Song.
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Well, it seems that nowadays boys and girls know what's
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good for them and like it.
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For Young America magazine recently made a youth survey all
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over the country, and one of the questions they asked
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the youngsters was, name your favorite dessert. Yes, you've guessed it.
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Jell-O is a leading favorite with the children, a dessert
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they go for in a great big way. And you
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know that shows that they have mighty good taste, for
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Jell-O is a grand dessert for youngsters. It's wholesome, it's pure,
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it's delicious. And Jell-O looks so exciting and tastes so good.
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Those six bright colors give a gay party air to
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the plainest meal, and every youngster loves that. And those
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six delicious flavors are full of extra rich fruit goodness
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that makes every Jell-O dessert a surefire hit with the
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whole family. Just be sure to get genuine Jell-O when
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you buy. Look for those big red letters on the box.
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They spell Jell-O, and Jell-O spells a treat. And now,
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ladies and gentlemen, we bring you that genial host of
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Beverly Hills, a man who is famous for his lavish
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and extravagant parties, Jock Benny.
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Well, thank you. Hello again. This is Jack Benny, the
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Elsa Maxwell of Southern California talking. And thanks, Don. I
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imagine you were referring to that blowout I gave for
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the gang last Sunday night.
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I certainly was.
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We had a lot of fun that night. What a
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spread I put on. Did you enjoy yourself, Don?
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Oh, we sure did, Jack. We all had a marvelous time. Hey, Phil,
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wasn't that a great party? Boy, that was a party
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with a capital P-U. Phil, I might have known you
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wouldn't like it. What do you expect at a party, anyway? Well,
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for one thing, I expect to eat.
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Eat? Brother, you handed out that food like it was radium. Now, now,
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wait a minute, Phil. There might have been a slight delay,
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but you finally got a meal, didn't you? Yeah, hot
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dogs and root beer. I went to bed that night
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and dreamt that Dracula and Frankenstein were shooting pool. Shooting pool?
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My goodness. Not only that, I was the eight ball. Well,
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hit me on the head and sink my bridge work. Well, I,
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you know, I wasn't going to admit it, fellas. Now, Ray,
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I wasn't going to admit it, but those hot dogs
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got me, too. Boy, what I went through.
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What happened, Jack?
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Did you have a nightmare?
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I think so. I was never a totem pole before.
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I got so excited, I punctured my hot water bag. Well,
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you should have known better than to serve that kind
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of food late at night. All right, Harris, I'll make
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a note of that. And incidentally, that's the last time
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you will ever be invited to my house. You couldn't
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get me in that dump again with a subpoena. Well,
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don't worry your pretty little head about that. You're just
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jealous because I made such a hit with that girl
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you brought to the party. You mean Barbara? Yes, Barbara.
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You didn't get any closer to her than War Admiral
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did to Seabiscuit. Oh, yeah? Well, when she went out
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the door, I was only two lengths behind her and
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moving up fast. So don't give me that. Oh, hello, Mary.
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Hello, fellas. What are you talking about?
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Oh, Wilson was just telling me what a marvelous time
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he had at my party last Sunday night.
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John?
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Yeah.
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Oh, that guy has a good time just lacing his shoes.
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He hasn't seen them in ten years But Mary, now Really, Mary,
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don't Now, wait a minute Don't tell me you didn't
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enjoy yourself at my party.
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Well, I had a swell time, Jack But gee, those
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hot dogs and root beer Gosh, what a.
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Horrible dream I had Oh, you too, huh?
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Yeah, I dreamt that Clark Gable was chasing me up
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the Empire State.
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Building Clark Gable? What's horrible about that?
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He didn't catch me.
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Oh, that's too bad.
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I'm going to eat ice cream and pickles tonight and
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give them another chance.
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That's right, Mary. Never say die. But I'm sorry the
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food I served my party upset you. That's really a shame.
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There ought to be a law against you entertaining. Oh,
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there should, eh? You see, Mary, Phil is burnt out
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because his girl Barbara was hanging around me all the time.
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Did you notice the way she kept looking at me
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all evening?
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Yeah, Phil told her you had a glass eye.
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Oh, so that's why she asked me to cry.
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I didn't know.
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Just the same, before the party was over, she got
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to like me, and that's why Phil is so mad.
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I'm not mad. I just think that affair you had
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was a war shot, that's all. Is that so? You know, Mary,
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Phil doesn't think a party's a success unless all the
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guests go home in a patrol wagon. Now, wait a minute, Jack.
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I've met some of the finest people in the world
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in patrol wagons. Yeah, I can imagine. That's where you
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signed me up, remember? Well, I was there by accident.
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I thought it was a sightseeing bus. A sightseeing bus,
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then why did you have your lawyer with you? Because
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he's never seen Chinatown and shut up.
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Gosh.
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Gee, alibi everything. But you know what hurts me, fellas?
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It's the first time any of you have ever been
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in my new home and you haven't said one word
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about it.
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Well, Jack, I meant to tell you all about that.
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I think your house is simply exquisite.
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Thanks, Don.
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Gee, I love that big fireplace in the library.
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Isn't it cozy?
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Oh, it's just ducky.
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Oh.
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But, Jack, I saw a cement mixer in your kitchen. Now,
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what's that for?
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That cement mixer? Yeah.
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Jack makes his own great nuts.
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I do not That cement mixer just happens to be
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an antique But you know what kills me? You didn't
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notice the nice things I have in my house What
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about that lovely thick oriental rug I've got? You mean
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the one in the living room? Yes I got a
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Palm Beach suit that's thicker than that.
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Oh, you have, Mr.
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Smarty Well, I like the rug and it's plenty thick.
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Go on, I saw a bug in it with an overcoat.
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On All right, keep it up, keep it up, Mary
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How anybody can run down by rugs and wear hats
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like you do is beyond me. The one you got
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on now looks like a bird's-eye view of Lake Tahoe.
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If I had a hat like that, I'd wear a veil, too.
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No kidding.
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No kidding. That's funny. You're the only one that guessed it.
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Well... Well, that's the silliest thing I ever saw.
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Yeah, that's what I say.
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Oh, hello, Kenny. I didn't see you come in. Where
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were you?
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Well, I was out in the hall whistling at the girls. Whistling?
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Now, Kenny, you shouldn't do that.
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I know. A dog came up and bit me.
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Oh.
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Well, that'll teach you a lesson. Say, Kenny, did you
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have a good time at my party the other night?
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I had a swell time, Jack. But, wow, those hot dogs,
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what they did to me.
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Now, don't tell me you had a nightmare, too. Did I?
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You know what, Jack? I went to bed and dreamt
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I was president of the United States.
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Oh, so you were president, eh? Yeah.
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Boy, was the country in a mess when I woke up.
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Well, I can imagine. Well, well, President Baker. What a dream.
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Who was vice president?
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Maxie Rosenblum.
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Oh, quite an administration there.
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Well, for the sake of our country, I'm glad you
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woke up. Say, Kenny, getting back to the party, though,
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that was the first time you saw my new house,
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wasn't it?
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Yes, it was. Gee, it's beautiful, Jack. And those paintings
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in your living room are the last words.
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Oh, they are masterpieces, every one of them.
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Oh, I like the picture of the girl's head that
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hangs over the fireplace.
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Oh, you mean the Mona Lisa?
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Yeah.
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Mona Lisa? Why, Jack, the Mona Lisa has a smile
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on her face. And the girl in your picture's frowning. Frowning? Yeah.
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Darn that Rochester. I told him he was hanging it
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upside down. He knows absolutely nothing about art.
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Say, Jack, tell him what he did with your painting
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of Napoleon.
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Yeah.
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What was it, Jack?
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Oh, he hung the picture sideways, and Napoleon's hand kept
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falling out of his vest. Well, I'll have things straightened
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out pretty soon. Hey, Kenny, it's about time for your song.
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What's it going to be tonight? I'm going to sing
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If I Loved You More, and I dedicate it to Oscar,
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my pet rabbit. Gee, what a thoughtful kid. Sing, Kenny.
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Are you listening, Bill?
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I mean,
Oscar?
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© BF-WATCH TV 2021.
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Oh, how can I explain? If I loved you more,
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I'd need another heart.
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The heart I have.
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Is filled with love for you.
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I'd need a longer day, a day that lasted me
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to my doom. If I could crawl another.
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Dream into a dream-filled night, I'd need a never-ending.
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If I loved you more This great big.
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World would be So much too small for me If
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I loved you.
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That was If I Loved You More, sung by Kenny Baker.
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And Kenny, I could tell that came right from the heart.
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I'm sure Oscar, your pet rabbit, enjoyed it very much.
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He better or I'll eat him.
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Oh, I wouldn't do that, kid.
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No.
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And now, ladies and gentlemen, as our play this evening
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is quite long, without further ado, I will announce our
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feature attraction. Tonight, we will add another brick in our
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monument to theatrical history. We are going to present our
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version of MGM's sensational story of pugilistic triumph and nerve-tingling suspense,
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The Crowd Roars. Thank you. Now, I will play the
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part as portrayed on the screen by Robert Taylor, that
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of a prizefighter who battles his way to the top,
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fighting and knocking out the toughest men the ring has
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ever known. Mary, I want him to believe this.
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Please.
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Now, Mary will play the part of Sheila, my sweetheart,
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as portrayed on the screen by Maureen O'Sullivan.
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Why don't you get her and leave me alone?
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Well, if you want to know something, prima donna, I
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came darn near getting Maureen O'Sullivan.
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Why didn't you?
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Well, unfortunately, she thinks I'm repulsive. Now, let's see. Oh, yeah,
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Don Wilson will be the fight announcer, and Phil... Oh, Phil,
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you're going to be in the play, too. Well, that's
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better than listening to it. Phil, that little remark may
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cause you to listen to this program next year if
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you're in touch with it at all. Do I make
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myself clear? Now, let's see. Phil is going to be
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my manager. Don is the fight announcer.
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Well, see, Jack, I think it would be much better
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if I were your trainer instead of your fight announcer.
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You want to be my trainer, Don?
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Yes.
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Why, said he, little knowing what was lurking in the
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shadows ahead. Why, Don?
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Because with every meal I'd see that you got a
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dish of tempting, delicious jello. You'd start out with strawberry
243
00:14:42.549 --> 00:14:44.669
and have a different flavor each day of the week.
244
00:14:44.950 --> 00:14:47.629
Oh, goody. But, Don, there are seven days of the
245
00:14:47.669 --> 00:14:50.509
week and only six flavors. What would I have on Sunday,
246
00:14:50.610 --> 00:14:51.289
pray tell?
247
00:14:51.490 --> 00:14:54.009
On Sunday, you could go back to strawberry with sliced
248
00:14:54.100 --> 00:14:55.600
bananas as a double feature.
249
00:14:55.779 --> 00:15:07.539
Eureka! I knew you'd come through. Now, let me see.
250
00:15:08.019 --> 00:15:11.500
Where was I before I fell into this trap? Oh, yes. Now,
251
00:15:11.539 --> 00:15:14.000
this play of the Fistic Arena will go on immediately
252
00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:15.019
after the next number.
253
00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:16.019
Go ahead, Phil.
254
00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:21.289
Oh, hold it a minute. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes?
255
00:15:21.490 --> 00:15:23.490
I wish you wouldn't be a prize fighter. Why not?
256
00:15:23.570 --> 00:15:24.389
Look what happened to me.
257
00:15:24.409 --> 00:15:24.470
Oh!
258
00:15:36.330 --> 00:15:39.740
Oh, I was wondering how he got that way. Play, Phil.
259
00:15:39.740 --> 00:16:35.409
© BF-WATCH TV 2021.
260
00:17:17.390 --> 00:17:20.579
That was F.D.R. Jones, played by Phil Harrison as orchestra.
261
00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:22.859
And now, folks, as time is getting short, we will
262
00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:25.700
proceed with our play, that epic of the prize ring,
263
00:17:25.900 --> 00:17:29.160
The Crowd Roars, or Button, Button, Who Hit Me on
264
00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:32.539
the Buttons. Take it, Don.
265
00:17:38.039 --> 00:17:39.579
The scene is the home of the Bennys in the
266
00:17:39.619 --> 00:17:43.180
thriving little town of Waukegan, Illinois, many years ago. As
267
00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:46.359
the curtain rises, we find Master Benny, a child of six,
268
00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:47.859
busy in the library.
269
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:48.720
Curtain.
270
00:17:50.049 --> 00:17:51.569
Oh, darn it.
271
00:17:59.130 --> 00:18:11.660
Oh, Daddy. Daddy.
What is it, Stinky? Daddy, can I
272
00:18:11.700 --> 00:18:13.819
go out with the other kids? Not until you finish
273
00:18:13.859 --> 00:18:17.000
your lesson. Say, what's that tune you was playing? Schubert's
274
00:18:17.079 --> 00:18:23.009
Unfinished Symphony, and I'm not surprised. Neither am I. Say, Daddy,
275
00:18:23.049 --> 00:18:25.230
why do I have to keep practicing? I don't want
276
00:18:25.250 --> 00:18:27.569
to be a violinist. I want to be a prizefighter.
277
00:18:27.589 --> 00:18:28.450
Prizefighter?
278
00:18:28.710 --> 00:18:34.200
Why, son, you couldn't lick a popsicle. I could, too. Now,
279
00:18:34.220 --> 00:18:35.799
get going with your lessons. I don't want to hear
280
00:18:35.839 --> 00:18:39.349
another word out of you. Oh, all right. Hey, wait
281
00:18:39.369 --> 00:18:50.529
till I get out of here. I wish I could go, too. Oh, well,
282
00:18:50.589 --> 00:18:51.349
I won't listen.
283
00:18:55.009 --> 00:18:57.970
Five years later, and Master Benny is now 11 years old.
284
00:18:59.140 --> 00:19:06.779
Oh, there I go again.
285
00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:09.539
Hey, son, ain't that the same tune you've been playing
286
00:19:09.559 --> 00:19:12.079
for five years? Yeah. Wish the teacher'd show you how
287
00:19:12.119 --> 00:19:14.839
to turn over the page. Well, I don't want to
288
00:19:14.859 --> 00:19:16.839
be a violinist. I want to be a prize fighter.
289
00:19:17.339 --> 00:19:19.400
Only yesterday I beat up that Stewart kid that lives
290
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:27.809
across the street. You mean Jimmy Stewart? No, Gloria. She
291
00:19:27.849 --> 00:19:30.529
won't forget me in a hurry. Well, stop bragging. Go
292
00:19:30.549 --> 00:19:32.509
on with your lessons. Okay, but one of these days
293
00:19:32.549 --> 00:19:34.289
I'm going to be the champion of the world, Dad.
294
00:19:34.549 --> 00:19:36.450
And you'll be proud of me. I'd be proud of
295
00:19:36.470 --> 00:19:37.930
you if you knew how to eat with a fork.
296
00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:43.160
I'll show him. Wait and see.
297
00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:44.500
Ten years later.
298
00:19:44.519 --> 00:19:57.099
Fifteen years later. later. I give up. Well, I could
299
00:19:57.119 --> 00:20:00.099
do better, but I'm playing with boxing gloves on. Anyway,
300
00:20:00.140 --> 00:20:01.900
I'm true with this. I'm going to New York and
301
00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:04.109
make a name for myself. I'm a champion and the
302
00:20:04.119 --> 00:20:04.680
world's going.
303
00:20:04.569 --> 00:20:05.170
To know about it.
304
00:20:05.450 --> 00:20:08.390
So long, Dad. I'm packing up. Don't forget your toupee.
305
00:20:12.519 --> 00:20:14.720
I got it on my chest. I'm a he-man now.
306
00:20:14.829 --> 00:20:16.410
So long, Pop.
307
00:20:16.430 --> 00:20:26.450
Good luck, son. Three years have elapsed, and Jack Benny
308
00:20:26.470 --> 00:20:29.380
has made rapid strides as a prizefighter. After a series
309
00:20:29.410 --> 00:20:32.259
of sensational knockouts, he is now known as Killer Benny.
310
00:20:32.279 --> 00:20:34.250
That's me, folks. A tiger, if there ever was one.
311
00:20:34.660 --> 00:20:36.480
We now take you to the killer's training camp, where
312
00:20:36.519 --> 00:20:41.700
he is working out with his manager, Curly Harris. Ouch.
313
00:20:42.369 --> 00:20:44.269
Hey, Curly, what do you want, killer? I wish you'd
314
00:20:44.289 --> 00:20:46.359
get me a new punching bag. This one keeps punching
315
00:20:46.380 --> 00:20:46.819
me back.
316
00:20:48.359 --> 00:20:49.019
Never mind that.
317
00:20:49.059 --> 00:20:50.880
Did you do your old work this morning? No, I
318
00:20:50.920 --> 00:20:59.519
couldn't find my broom. Now, look, Curly, when is my
319
00:20:59.559 --> 00:21:01.440
next bout? I haven't had a fight in two days.
320
00:21:01.519 --> 00:21:03.089
I'm working on it, killer. I got a guy in
321
00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:05.190
mind for you, but he ain't out of the hospital yet. Well,
322
00:21:05.230 --> 00:21:05.829
prop him up.
323
00:21:05.869 --> 00:21:06.589
I'm raring to go.
324
00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:10.579
I'll get you a fight pretty soon, but I'm warning you, killer.
325
00:21:10.740 --> 00:21:13.039
You better start saving your dough. Why, you throw away
326
00:21:13.079 --> 00:21:15.460
your money like Diamond Jim Brady. I don't throw away
327
00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:17.420
my money. I know that, but this happens to be
328
00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:26.150
the play. Oh, that's right. But gee whiz, I like
329
00:21:26.190 --> 00:21:28.009
a little fun once in a while. Okay, killer, but
330
00:21:28.029 --> 00:21:29.490
if you want to be a champion, you better stop
331
00:21:29.549 --> 00:21:32.849
running around with women. Okay. Now remember that women are poison.
332
00:21:33.069 --> 00:21:34.269
I got you, chief. No women.
333
00:21:34.349 --> 00:21:34.769
Right.
334
00:21:34.950 --> 00:21:37.950
See you later. So long. Now what'll I do? I
335
00:21:37.970 --> 00:21:41.190
guess I'll skip rope a little while. One, two, button
336
00:21:41.210 --> 00:21:47.349
my shell. Train four, shut the door. Five, six, seven, eight.
337
00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:49.049
Hello, can I come in?
338
00:21:49.210 --> 00:21:49.880
Are you a woman?
339
00:21:49.930 --> 00:21:50.230
Yes.
340
00:21:50.259 --> 00:21:52.900
Now get out of here. You're a poison. What? Oh,
341
00:21:52.920 --> 00:21:55.019
I'm sorry, Sheila. I didn't know it was you.
342
00:21:55.259 --> 00:21:56.900
Well, don't holler at me like that or I'll take
343
00:21:56.940 --> 00:21:57.660
my tights back.
344
00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:59.359
Well, I said I was sorry.
345
00:22:05.299 --> 00:22:06.599
I'm nervous, Sheila. I want to fight.
346
00:22:06.779 --> 00:22:07.960
Well, how are you shaping up, killer?
347
00:22:08.099 --> 00:22:09.940
Fine. Look at these arms. They're like steel.
348
00:22:10.089 --> 00:22:11.200
Yeah, what are those bumps on them?
349
00:22:11.269 --> 00:22:17.029
Rivets. You're looking
at the next champ, Sheila. Get these muscles.
350
00:22:17.049 --> 00:22:17.970
Look at this physique.
351
00:22:18.369 --> 00:22:19.990
I've seen better physiques on parsnips.
352
00:22:22.390 --> 00:22:23.809
Gee, don't you love me anymore, Sheila?
353
00:22:24.009 --> 00:22:26.210
Sure I love you, killer, but you're getting slap-happy from
354
00:22:26.269 --> 00:22:28.589
all this fighting. Walking around on your heels.
355
00:22:28.630 --> 00:22:29.269
On my heels?
356
00:22:29.430 --> 00:22:31.210
Yeah, you look like Corrigan doing a toe dance.
357
00:22:32.069 --> 00:22:35.019
Well, don't worry, Sheila. If it'll make you any happier,
358
00:22:35.059 --> 00:22:36.279
my next fight will be my last.
359
00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:37.759
Who's that?
360
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:39.619
That's Harris, my manager. I don't want him to see you.
361
00:22:39.619 --> 00:22:40.450
I'm on strict training.
362
00:22:40.509 --> 00:22:41.109
Well, what'll I do?
363
00:22:41.269 --> 00:22:42.569
Here, hide behind the beer barrel.
364
00:22:44.029 --> 00:22:44.450
Okay.
365
00:22:45.849 --> 00:22:48.529
Hey, killer, killer, have I got news for you. What
366
00:22:48.569 --> 00:22:50.619
is it, Coyley? At last, your big chance has come.
367
00:22:50.890 --> 00:22:52.940
I just arranged a match between you and the champion
368
00:22:52.980 --> 00:22:56.299
of California. The champion of California? Who's that? Kenny Baker,
369
00:22:56.319 --> 00:23:00.769
the Glendale Assassin. Oh, Kid Baker, eh? Say, I heard
370
00:23:00.809 --> 00:23:03.029
about him. He's plenty tough. When am I fighting Baker?
371
00:23:03.089 --> 00:23:04.009
Soon as we can catch him.
372
00:23:04.490 --> 00:23:04.670
Oh.
373
00:23:05.109 --> 00:23:06.630
Now, listen, Chief, why don't you get me a real
374
00:23:06.690 --> 00:23:08.910
fighter like Joe Lewis? I'm dying to meet him.
375
00:23:08.950 --> 00:23:10.279
You're fighting him next.
376
00:23:10.670 --> 00:23:14.900
That's the... What? Oh, well, you can't take it with you.
377
00:23:17.980 --> 00:23:19.500
But don't worry, Chief, because you're looking at the next
378
00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:22.380
chance right now. That's the spirit. So long, killer.
379
00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:23.779
So long. Goodbye, Sheila.
380
00:23:23.859 --> 00:23:24.220
Goodbye.
381
00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:27.700
Well, we certainly fooled him up to the last line.
382
00:23:27.720 --> 00:23:31.240
Oh, Killer. Killer, you're not really going through with this.
383
00:23:31.299 --> 00:23:31.559
Are you?
384
00:23:31.579 --> 00:23:32.420
Sure I am, Sheila.
385
00:23:32.680 --> 00:23:35.400
Darling, you don't know what you're doing. Why, kid, Baker's dynamite.
386
00:23:35.420 --> 00:23:37.029
He'll cut you to ribbons. He'll mangle you.
387
00:23:37.369 --> 00:23:41.640
Who, me? He may be tough, Sheila, but I'll make
388
00:23:41.660 --> 00:23:43.680
enough dough out of this fight to retire. And when
389
00:23:43.720 --> 00:23:46.109
we do, you're going to be Mrs. Killer Benny.
390
00:23:50.829 --> 00:23:52.990
Two months later, the scene is Madison Square Garden in
391
00:23:53.029 --> 00:23:55.450
New York City. The place is jammed with people and
392
00:23:55.509 --> 00:23:57.069
the main event is about to begin.
393
00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:06.000
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event.
394
00:24:07.019 --> 00:24:10.980
In this corner... In black tights, we have the champion,
395
00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:17.640
Kid Baker of the Glendale Attachments. And in this corner,
396
00:24:18.140 --> 00:24:25.210
in cerise tights, we have the challenger, Killer Benny, the
397
00:24:25.250 --> 00:24:26.430
Lockheed and Wildcat.
398
00:24:26.710 --> 00:24:27.529
Hooray!
399
00:24:27.710 --> 00:24:28.470
Thanks, Sheila.
400
00:24:28.529 --> 00:24:32.690
Their weights, Killer Benny, 186 pounds.
401
00:24:32.710 --> 00:24:33.970
Kid Baker, 93 and a quarter.
402
00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:42.599
Of course.
403
00:24:42.839 --> 00:24:43.559
Collection!
404
00:24:43.940 --> 00:24:46.480
Ninety-three and a half!
405
00:24:46.900 --> 00:24:48.440
A lot of good that's going to do me. How
406
00:24:48.460 --> 00:24:49.200
do you feel, killer?
407
00:24:49.279 --> 00:24:51.599
Okay, where's my glasses? I can't see a thing without them.
408
00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:52.680
Here they are. Thanks.
409
00:24:52.859 --> 00:24:54.779
Good evening, folks. This is Pam Wilson talking from the
410
00:24:54.819 --> 00:24:56.119
ringside of Madison Square Garden.
411
00:24:56.420 --> 00:24:57.380
The referee is now.
412
00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:58.960
Calling the contestants at the center of the ring for
413
00:24:58.980 --> 00:24:59.920
their final instructions.
414
00:24:59.940 --> 00:25:02.109
Now, listen, boys. You're both in here to do the
415
00:25:02.150 --> 00:25:02.730
best you can.
416
00:25:02.750 --> 00:25:03.069
Yeah.
417
00:25:03.329 --> 00:25:04.910
I want this to be a nice, clean fight, and
418
00:25:04.930 --> 00:25:06.750
when I tell you to sign a forecloset, I want
419
00:25:06.769 --> 00:25:11.259
you to celebrate with Sergeant Master Spaniel. Look, I don't
420
00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:12.200
want any kind of assortment.
421
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:12.519
No.
422
00:25:12.539 --> 00:25:13.359
No coming up with assortment.
423
00:25:13.380 --> 00:25:15.160
No, no. Just for him to sort it out.
424
00:25:15.319 --> 00:25:17.539
Yeah.
425
00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:18.539
You understand?
426
00:25:19.869 --> 00:25:20.140
What?
427
00:25:20.529 --> 00:25:21.150
You understand?
428
00:25:21.329 --> 00:25:21.630
No.
429
00:25:21.930 --> 00:25:22.269
I do.
430
00:25:22.990 --> 00:25:23.230
Good.
431
00:25:23.690 --> 00:25:25.490
Now go to your quarters, boys, and when the bell rings,
432
00:25:25.789 --> 00:25:30.750
come out and say, this is Walter 77. Okay. Well,
433
00:25:31.029 --> 00:25:33.230
good luck, Baker. You're going to need it. Oh, yeah.
434
00:25:33.470 --> 00:25:35.220
I'll knock that toupee right off your chest.
435
00:25:35.420 --> 00:25:38.650
Well, it's gray, so have a little respect. Now, remember
436
00:25:38.809 --> 00:25:41.410
one thing, Baker. You're talking to the Walt Keegan Wildcat. Oh,
437
00:25:41.450 --> 00:25:42.059
I am, eh?
438
00:25:42.299 --> 00:25:44.259
Well, you're talking to the Glendale Narcissus.
439
00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:46.099
That's a sass-a. Yeah.
440
00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:52.269
All right, boys. Go to your corners. There's the bell, folks,
441
00:25:52.430 --> 00:25:54.279
and the fight is on. The boys meet in the
442
00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:54.910
center of the ring.
443
00:25:54.990 --> 00:25:55.599
Hello, Kenny.
444
00:25:55.660 --> 00:25:56.299
Hello, Jack.
445
00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:58.319
Benny leads with the right to the chin, and Baker
446
00:25:58.359 --> 00:26:00.359
counters with the left to the jaw. Ouch.
447
00:26:00.619 --> 00:26:01.359
Pardon my glove.
448
00:26:01.720 --> 00:26:03.000
Benny takes it with a smile.
449
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:05.819
He tries an uppercut, but misses. Baker comes back with
450
00:26:05.859 --> 00:26:08.309
an undercut, which falls short. Benny comes back with a
451
00:26:08.309 --> 00:26:10.029
New York cut, which Baker snaps at.
452
00:26:10.250 --> 00:26:11.230
What a fight, folks.
453
00:26:11.250 --> 00:26:11.950
What a fight.
454
00:26:11.990 --> 00:26:12.809
Come on, Keller.
455
00:26:12.829 --> 00:26:13.309
Knock him close.
456
00:26:13.750 --> 00:26:14.569
What's the matter with you?
457
00:26:14.609 --> 00:26:15.910
Sheila, stop talking to me.
458
00:26:15.930 --> 00:26:18.829
Sheila stops talking and Benny rushes Baker. Baker comes back
459
00:26:18.849 --> 00:26:19.630
with a right to the chin.
460
00:26:19.650 --> 00:26:20.190
A left. A right.
461
00:26:20.210 --> 00:26:20.410
A left.
462
00:26:20.430 --> 00:26:20.690
A right.
463
00:26:20.710 --> 00:26:20.910
A left.
464
00:26:20.930 --> 00:26:21.150
A right.
465
00:26:21.170 --> 00:26:21.630
And he's down.
466
00:26:21.650 --> 00:26:21.829
A one.
467
00:26:21.849 --> 00:26:22.329
A two. A three.
468
00:26:22.349 --> 00:26:22.490
A four.
469
00:26:22.509 --> 00:26:23.049
Then he's up.
470
00:26:23.069 --> 00:26:23.299
A right.
471
00:26:23.470 --> 00:26:23.730
A left.
472
00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:24.210
A right. A left.
473
00:26:24.299 --> 00:26:25.039
And he's down.
474
00:26:25.059 --> 00:26:26.640
What am I, an elevator?
475
00:26:26.680 --> 00:26:26.920
A one.
476
00:26:26.940 --> 00:26:27.279
A two.
477
00:26:27.519 --> 00:26:28.019
A three.
478
00:26:28.259 --> 00:26:28.539
A four.
479
00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:28.779
A two.
480
00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:29.019
A three.
481
00:26:29.039 --> 00:26:29.779
A four. A two.
482
00:26:29.819 --> 00:26:30.160
A two.
483
00:26:30.180 --> 00:26:30.400
A three.
484
00:26:30.519 --> 00:26:30.880
A four.
485
00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:31.200
A two.
486
00:26:31.220 --> 00:26:31.980
A two. A three.
487
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:32.259
A four.
488
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:34.119
A two. A two. A
three. A four.
489
00:26:34.220 --> 00:26:34.650
A two. A two.
490
00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:34.819
A two.
491
00:26:34.900 --> 00:26:35.299
A three.
492
00:26:35.339 --> 00:26:36.099
A four. A two.
493
00:26:36.700 --> 00:26:37.099
A two.
494
00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:37.619
A two.
495
00:26:37.660 --> 00:26:37.829
A two.
496
00:26:38.019 --> 00:26:38.480
A three.
497
00:26:38.700 --> 00:26:39.119
A two.
498
00:26:39.339 --> 00:26:39.539
A two.
499
00:26:39.559 --> 00:26:39.740
A two.
500
00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:40.019
A two.
501
00:26:40.039 --> 00:26:40.480
A two. A two.
502
00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:40.740
A two.
503
00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:41.019
A two.
504
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:41.230
A two.
505
00:26:41.240 --> 00:26:41.559
A two.
506
00:26:41.640 --> 00:26:41.960
A two.
507
00:26:41.980 --> 00:26:42.259
A two.
508
00:26:42.359 --> 00:26:46.799
A two. A And ten.
509
00:26:47.079 --> 00:26:57.140
Benny's out and Kid Baker is still champion.
510
00:26:59.119 --> 00:26:59.579
Oh, Killer.
511
00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:01.960
Killer, say something. Speak to me. Speak to me.
512
00:27:02.829 --> 00:27:04.609
I sure gave it to that Benny, didn't I?
513
00:27:04.930 --> 00:27:05.569
You're Benny.
514
00:27:05.910 --> 00:27:07.369
Oh, for heaven's sake.
515
00:27:08.589 --> 00:27:11.509
Two years later, Killer Benny has retired from the ring,
516
00:27:11.650 --> 00:27:13.990
married his sweetheart Sheila, and settled down on a little
517
00:27:14.009 --> 00:27:16.230
farm in the country. Let's drop him off.
518
00:27:16.769 --> 00:27:18.029
Oh, Killer. Killer.
519
00:27:18.230 --> 00:27:18.970
What is it, honey?
520
00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:20.319
Call the hogs, will you?
521
00:27:20.519 --> 00:27:50.650
Okay. One of the oldest sayings I know is still
522
00:27:50.730 --> 00:27:53.390
as true as ever. Variety is the spice of life.
523
00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:56.059
And here's a grand new dessert to add variety to
524
00:27:56.099 --> 00:28:00.539
your meals. It's the new Jell-O Vanilla Pudding, a creamy,
525
00:28:00.619 --> 00:28:04.259
smooth pudding dessert that's simply swell. It's so tempting to
526
00:28:04.299 --> 00:28:07.680
look at with a beautiful color and a real satiny texture.
527
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:10.779
And it's so good to eat with a rich, full flavor.
528
00:28:11.180 --> 00:28:15.240
For Jell-O Vanilla Pudding is made from real vanilla. No
529
00:28:15.309 --> 00:28:18.920
artificial flavoring. Then try the new Jell-O butterscotch pudding that's
530
00:28:19.059 --> 00:28:24.079
mellow with real old-fashioned butterscotch flavor. And try Jell-O chocolate pudding,
531
00:28:24.500 --> 00:28:27.640
smooth and rich and chocolatey, a prime favorite made a
532
00:28:27.779 --> 00:28:30.759
new and better way. For all three new Jell-O puddings
533
00:28:30.819 --> 00:28:33.519
are amazingly quick and easy to prepare. You'll find the
534
00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:37.200
simple directions on every package. And you get puddings that
535
00:28:37.549 --> 00:28:41.210
have that old-time homemade goodness, made with the same fine
536
00:28:41.250 --> 00:28:44.529
ingredients you'd use yourself right in your own kitchen. They're
537
00:28:44.549 --> 00:28:48.059
delicious served either hot or cold. served plain or garnished
538
00:28:48.099 --> 00:28:50.960
with nuts and whipped cream. Get acquainted with the three
539
00:28:51.019 --> 00:28:54.569
new delicious desserts. The best way is to buy three
540
00:28:54.609 --> 00:28:57.690
packages at a time. So ask your grocer tomorrow for
541
00:28:57.769 --> 00:29:00.690
Jell-O vanilla, butterscotch, and chocolate pudding.
542
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:16.200
This is the last number of the sixth program of
543
00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:18.220
the new Jell-O series, and we'll be with you again
544
00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:20.880
next Sunday night at the same time. I hope you
545
00:29:20.920 --> 00:29:23.339
all liked our little play tonight, The Crowd Roars.
546
00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:25.549
Gee, Jack, I think you played your part well. You
547
00:29:25.569 --> 00:29:28.410
were so natural and convincing. You look so cute in
548
00:29:28.430 --> 00:29:28.869
your tights.
549
00:29:29.269 --> 00:29:30.990
Oh, Mary, this is only a play on the radio.
550
00:29:31.009 --> 00:29:32.029
I'm not wearing tights.
551
00:29:32.369 --> 00:29:32.769
Oh, no?
552
00:29:32.789 --> 00:29:33.250
Take a look.
553
00:29:33.869 --> 00:29:37.200
Oh, darn it. My suspender's broke again. Good night, folks.
554
00:29:37.220 --> 00:29:40.299
Give me a pin, now.
555
00:29:41.180 --> 00:29:50.009
J-E-L-L-O The tune, F.B.R.
556
00:29:50.069 --> 00:29:52.069
Jones, is from Sing Out the News.
557
00:29:52.130 --> 00:29:54.369
Kenny Baker appears on the Jell-O program to courtesy of
558
00:29:54.390 --> 00:30:02.670
Mervyn LeRoy Productions. This is the National Broadcasting.
559
00:30:05.269 --> 00:30:08.769
Company.
560
00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:13.759
That was the Jack Benny program with the crowd roars.
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00:30:14.180 --> 00:30:17.500
Follow the Jack Benny program for more classic comedy broadcasts.