TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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What was it that made you think this is of the Lord versus this is the enemy?
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Like shutting a door, because I know sometimes that's hard too Like you're running into obstacle after obstacle after obstacle, I thought this is what we're supposed to be doing, like.
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Do we keep pressing and keep getting rejected, or do we?
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I think being of the Lord came in the beginning, and then obstacles came.
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The rest of the way, which you know is going to happen any time you're on the right path, the enemy's going to try to knock you off it.
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This is the Elevation Room, a space where we unpack life's hardest moments and the impact that they have on our faith, family and fulfillment.
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I'm your host, dustin Lael, and each episode we share real stories of resilience and breakthrough to inspire you to keep moving forward, rooted in your purpose, living on purpose and walking with purpose.
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This journey we call life is not meant to be done alone, so click subscribe or the follow button now settle in and join us as we go in to the Elevation Room.
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Welcome back to the Elevation Room.
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Today we have my beautiful wife, bethany, we've got James and Tiffany Bear.
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Y'all say hi.
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Hey, hello.
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And our room looks a little bit different today because the podcast studio is not set up for four people, so this is our first four-person episode.
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So congratulations and welcome.
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Thank you.
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Yeah, if y'all would like, please give an introduction of yourselves for our vast audience of listeners my name is james bear and I'm a project manager at blue fin, and I live in bro bridge, louisiana and I'm his wife, tiffany bear, and I own le coiffeur salon in bro bridge, nice le coiffeur, yes, which we saw a lot when we were in france.
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we were pointed out everywhere, so that was a cool moment.
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So how long have y'all been married?
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14 years.
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Almost in October.
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Okay, alright, way to go, james.
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I like the way James looked and he's like confirmation.
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Yes, that is awesome.
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Well, we're excited to have y'all today.
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We've had quite a few board nights.
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Board game nights together had a lot of fun.
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We talked about all getting together and having a conversation about some of y'all's life's experiences and just having a good time.
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Y'all ready?
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Here we are, let's go.
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So I always like to get started with.
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Everyone's life was perfect.
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There's no challenges, and you know and by now, on episode seven, we just know that's not the case.
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So I'd love to open it up to y'all and just share with me.
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Y'all been married 14 years.
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Y'all have been on this journey together.
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I know, james, you've worked offshore, you've worked out of state Tiffany, starting a salon from the ground up.
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It's not easy work.
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So I'd love to understand a moment, a season that was really challenging for y'all, that y'all have learned through.
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Where should we start Building the salon, I guess would be a good one, Because there was a lot of challenges.
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We faced with that.
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For sure, so building the salon.
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What season of life were y'all in?
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How long were y'all married?
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What did your work look like at the time, James?
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Where were you coming out of, tiffany?
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So I had been at a large salon for several years and unhappy there for a while, kind of always had my eye on the ball of getting out.
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Didn't know what that would look like.
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Um, we ultimately found a piece of property in 2020, during the pandemic.
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Not ideal time to move or shake or do anything more like hunker down and wait for it to end.
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But that's when god moved, and so piece of property I didn't like, really Really.
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And.
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I fell in love with how.
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Why didn't you like it?
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Several reasons.
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It's very small and the side of town it's on I didn't think was a very good area for it really, you know, and my vision of it wouldn't have been there.
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Yeah.
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So did you find the piece of property and bring it to him, or did y'all kind of find it together and then had to work through?
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that I was just on drive board during covid and I we had seen it for sale um the december before and it kind of appealed to both of us.
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It's on a main highway and it had good visibility, but we didn't really have a plan for how to make money with it and there was an old building on it that would have needed a lot of work to tear down.
Load full transcript
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Well, the building was now gone and it was for sale and I was.
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It occurred to me during COVID exactly how much I did not want to go back to work at the big salon, and so God was like I mean, it just dropped like a bowling ball and and I could see it all like exactly the way it is today.
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I could just see it and I was like that's that.
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And I went home and I was like hey, babe, you know that piece of property, I'm going to have a salon there that you don't like.
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And it was just one of those things where, like, I mean, I feel like we talk about decisions but at the same time, when God moves, it's like we both just trust.
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If the other person says it like we trust it.
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Yep, what was your thoughts when she first brought that to you?
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That's it.
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Support her in it, you know, because she was very steadfast in wanting it and thinking that's where she needed to be.
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Yeah, Now were you shut down during COVID for the previous company.
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So you didn't have any work at all at the time.
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And what about you, James?
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Were you still working?
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Yep and really doing better than ever probably.
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You know really busy and and.
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Very well at that time.
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So then what happened?
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once y'all decided to buy it.
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Well, the seller was particularly interesting and James actually, I think, outsmarted him and made it happen.
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I wouldn't say that.
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Good looking, I don't even remember what we're talking about.
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Well, we had called and we were asking him and he was kind of just like I'm not taking offers.
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I get calls all the time and I'm not interested.
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So it wasn't listed for sale.
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It was for sale by owner.
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There was just a sign on the property.
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Like a stake in the road or something like that, yeah, and he called me one day.
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We were back at work and I was, like I do, but I was also really scared because I was asking for like a lot of money for my business endeavor.
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The guy's selling it used to be a judge and very crafty.
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Let's put it that way.
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Crafty is a great word, and so I think he got confused about who was supposed to meet him there to sign the purchase agreement.
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And you, mr Uber punctual, got there early before whoever he was supposed to meet with a purchase agreement in hand and then got signed and that was it.
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So was he.
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He was expecting someone else to show up, seemed like it really presumably interesting yep, and then did y'all start building right away, or was that part?
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of the process.
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Oh yeah, I forgot about that part no, yeah, enlighten us please um well, she had a builder she really liked and highly recommended by a long-term client who I've usually see eye to eye with, and very nice, very nice gentleman and, yeah, he did a great job for her yes, and he did a terrible job for us, so y'all gave him the job and he started building or finished building, or what Did he have to be fired?
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mid-job, beginning job.
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It was still dirt work.
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It was still he hadn't really done a whole lot.
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His daughter had some health challenges again, covid, so he was doing a lot of driving for her.
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His wife also had some health challenges he, so he was doing a lot of driving for her.
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His wife also had some health challenges.
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He was driving a lot for her and just in his business he was over.
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He was just spread too thin.
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Um, great man of the lord pastors a small church and that gave me a lot of peace that I would be working with someone like that.
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Um, but ultimately I cried I've never had to let anyone go, ever and I was like I'm so sorry, but this isn working.
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Like we got to get the ball rolling and you're not, we could see it never get built.
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That way Was the main thing.
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Were things just?
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dragging on, Because I mean if y'all were just dirt work, I mean there wasn't even a lot that had been done already, and it was months and mind you, we're trying to summer, so yeah, was that about the same time y'all were building the?
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yes, we kicked off with the second builder in early 21 maybe don't know.
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Yeah, I don't do dates well yeah I think, I think so gotcha all right.
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So then what else happened?
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I mean what y'all said hey, this is was a challenging season what was it that made you think this is of the lord versus this is the enemy?
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Like shutting the door, because I know sometimes that's hard too.
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Like you're running into obstacle after obstacle after obstacle, I thought this is what we're supposed to be doing,
like, like.
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Do we keep pressing and keep getting rejected, or do we?
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I think being of the Lord came in the beginning, and then obstacles came.
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The rest of the way, which you know is going to happen anytime you're on the right path, the enemy's going to try to knock you off.
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That's true.
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So we had done something that's not really considered generally wise, but we felt good about it.
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We lent money to family and that was totally fine.
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But the afternoon that he signed the purchase agreement, we were called and told we were getting a wire to get the money back.
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And that was not expected at all in this, in that like season at all, and so you know we didn't want to go into debt to buy the property and I was like, okay, I think we can like have 20 bucks in our checking account if.
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If like, okay, I think we can like have 20 bucks in our checking account.
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If.
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If we don't like, I think we can still do it.
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It was like a huge oh my gosh, are we really going to do this?
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And just faith.
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It was such a strong feeling that God put on me that we did it.
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And then it was almost like confirmation that we didn't have to cut it close, that everything was just so smooth.
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And then the obstacles came when we got to the second builder.
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Really it was pretty hellacious.
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You're up, it does.
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That's actually whenever you and I connected in the middle of the build.
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We were in the small group find your people.
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Find your people and I found my people, and I found my people, my person but yes, and I remember you would come in and you were just like on the verge of tears because it was such an exciting time and you felt like it was a promise from the lord.
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But you were running into so many obstacles and you're like I just need prayer, I need to know how to handle this, like appropriately, how to all the things.
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And I didn't even know that I was walking through that season with you until afterwards, you know, through conversation, like wow, that's when we met and it's amazing how the Lord puts people in your life.
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And we were in a little group like literally was called find your people and I found my people in that group even that was a god thing.
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I remember sitting in church small group expo day and like it's like god, I want to join a group.
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None of this is jumping out at me and like find your people is jumping off the page and at the time like I felt like I had my people.
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I had people for that season and what I didn't know that God knew was they weren't gonna be in the next season and Bethany was, and so I went just like obediently, like I don't know why I'm here, but I'm here and yeah, huge, hugely, um, supportive friend came out of that season that's awesome.
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So how long did it take you all to build?
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Just over a year.
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We started in January and we finished the following February, March-ish.
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Was there ever a time where you're like, hey, this isn't going to work?
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Or did you all say, hey, these are just obstacles and we got to get through it?
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There were plenty of them.
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Okay, tell me more, tell me more.
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So me being busier than ever.
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You know I'm gone.
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I can't even think of how much at this point, but I'm gone months at a time.
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Okay, with work, yes, and trying to battle with a contractor while I'm offshore running jobs and just throwing money at it because I just want it to end Right.
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I'm offshore running jobs and just throwing money at it, because I just want it to end, you know it's so a little bit of context.
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I have a client who has like multiple degrees and can, I think, pretty accurately say by what I'm telling her, my experiences are you're dealing with a sexist and a narcissist and you're not going to win by being nice and you're not going to win by being mean.
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You need to just go through as quickly as possible and just come to an end with the relationship there, finish the contract, move on with your life.
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You're not, you're not going to win and you're a woman and you're really not going to win wow, so it was like that so it was like that.
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And this is all, while Bear is in another country, another state, could have been another country at that point, the Gulf of Mexico.
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Yes, america.
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So primarily at one point, I think, the build actually came to a standstill.
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It did for a solid month.
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And I came home in the middle of it.
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He just wanted to protect me and fix it and be there.
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But anyway we got it back on track.
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I showed up at the builder's house, probably 5 in the morning, because I know he's there, because he's not taking our calls at this
point.
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He had blocked my number Wow.
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In the middle of the build.
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He was communicating by email only.
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Yeah, and trying to manipulate emails, because that's what's referenced in court, where this is heading at this point.
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Wow, I didn't know it was that deep.
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I couldn't even contact him to pay him on time.
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We wound up having to exchange payments through our bank, like let's bring money to the bank and him pick it up from the bank, because he would not.
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He just wouldn't communicate, wow.
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So basically what the salon is is a custom home beautiful, that made in a way to do hair in and I think he thought he was just going to do a quick beauty shop and it was going to be very builder grade and very hands off with a dumb little girl.
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And what he didn't know is I've had a passion for home design almost my whole life.
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I made my own floor plans.
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I made my own site plan.
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I found an architect to bring that to life with something that they could work from, and I wanted to be very much a part of it.
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I had a picture of every single thing that I wanted that I knew was different than builder grade.
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I was so prepared to execute a smooth construction process and I wanted to have a great relationship with all of the subcontractors and hopefully communicate with skilled people to work together to make an amazing end product.
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And I will say that we got an amazing end product, but it was not smooth because sort of the middleman was the obstacle and unfortunately you cannot self-contract a commercial building.
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Not that I could have hired the group of people we got, but he did supply amazing subcontractors and I just showed up every day and he'd also had an interesting sentence in his contract which was do not talk to the subcontractors.
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And.
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I asked about that before we signed it.
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I said you know I I can't say hello, how are you?
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Good morning, good afternoon, thank you.
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It came out great, like I can't say anything to them.
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And he was like, well, I mean sort of dismissive, but like, if you must, well, you've known me before today.
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Like I'm not going to not talk to someone like in any sort of relationship with me, like.
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So, when he blocked me, I took that as permission to talk to them, because if you're not going to talk to me, well, I need to talk to someone.
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I need to communicate with someone about what I want, and so I just started doing exactly what he didn't want and, um, that ended up making it come out the way that we wanted, but unfortunately, with a lot of friction yeah.
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How did it get to that point where he wasn't even willing to communicate at all?
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well, one of the first times I met with him on site was after so it's a raised building, after they had done the subfloor.
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And he had a question and I said, okay, well, and I had told him in the beginning too, I'm off at 2 30 every day.
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I work 30 minutes from the job site.
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Like I can be here at three every day, which is typical end of day for construction.
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So I thought, oh, this would be perfect, we can talk about what's coming up, I can have my pictures and all my things prepared.
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Um, he was not interested at meeting at the job site at the end of the day any day.
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It.
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It was a huge problem and he made that known and so he did it one day, in the very beginning, and we stood there and he said this phrase.
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He said I'm not doing this design on the fly stuff.
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And I said, well, it's not design on the fly, like it's all very well planned out.
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But you didn't want to see the pictures at the initial meeting.
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You didn't want to see the pictures here.
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When do you want me to give you the information, to further explain the details of what I'm wanting?
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And there was never an answer to that question.
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It was always just like, basically like little girl, we're not doing that he just want to build it how he wanted to build just wanted to say y'all go in and do what y'all always do we made a bad decision and we signed a contract and at this point we're just trying to get through it.
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Cut your losses, have a building half done, start over, grind it out, finish it.
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So basically it got to that point because I wasn't going to give in and every time I would call him.
00:17:44.395 --> 00:18:04.737
And it's sad because my husband's offshore, he's working probably 14 plus hours a day and the little bit of time he gets to call and be on the phone together, I'm telling him the problem of the day and he's just there supporting me, saying, babe, do what you want, make it what you want, like he was so supportive.
00:18:04.737 --> 00:18:10.895
And of course every phone call involves more money and letting this man just totally take advantage of the situation.
00:18:12.398 --> 00:18:14.722
By time
it's starting to strain our relationship too.
00:18:14.742 --> 00:18:25.390
You know it's a lot of pressure on us kind of goes back to what you said earlier too, though, knowing that it was a promise from the lord.
00:18:25.390 --> 00:18:32.442
You know you're going to expect those setbacks and those, but we didn't expect it.
00:18:32.442 --> 00:18:33.545
I know you can.
00:18:33.545 --> 00:18:43.932
It's almost like you can never truly prepare, because I feel like, if you know what would be to come, it would be almost too scary or too intimidating that you would back down on the promise that God had for you.
00:18:43.932 --> 00:19:03.823
But all of those setbacks and pushbacks and you know frustrating moments where y'all kept going and kept pushing in, and now you're seeing the fruit of, like, the ministry that's coming out of that build, like every time you know you're in your salon and it is absolutely beautiful.
00:19:03.863 --> 00:19:08.299
It is that's amazing it is gorgeous, it is absolutely gorgeous.
00:19:08.299 --> 00:19:12.750
It's like a magnolia magazine cover.
00:19:12.750 --> 00:19:44.384
But it's not just beautiful, it's a place of like ministry and like holy spirit is in that building and I know it's because of y'all obedience and y'all pushing through and but, yeah, that just shows that the magnificent call and the calling that was behind it all, like y'all yes, because all the people who are sitting in that chair that you're encouraging and you're just a listening ear and you know a wise word.
00:19:47.050 --> 00:19:53.722
The interesting part of what you're saying is I almost I didn't really know that was going to be happening.
00:19:53.722 --> 00:20:05.000
It was more like so I think I had undiagnosed ADHD and functioning in the Lafayette salon I was working at it was just so overstimulating and so just so much.
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:08.618
I just wanted out and there was some, you know, interpersonal friction.
00:20:08.618 --> 00:20:09.932
When you have that many people together, that's going to happen.
00:20:09.932 --> 00:20:10.998
I just wanted out and there was some interpersonal friction.
00:20:10.998 --> 00:20:12.169
When you have that many people together, that's going to happen.
00:20:12.169 --> 00:20:19.603
I just wanted out and the focus for me was on God giving me this peaceful place for me and my clients.
00:20:19.682 --> 00:20:24.999
And that was it and your co-leader, that semester of Find your People.
00:20:24.999 --> 00:20:34.920
She came, she was the first friend, the first person outside of my very close family to see it, and it wasn't furnished but it was basically complete as far as the bill goes.
00:20:34.920 --> 00:21:09.140
She opened the front door and she couldn't even get in far enough to close the door and it was almost like she was, her breath was caught and she said ministry is going to happen in this place, ministry is going to happen in this place, and it was almost like a weight, but not in a
bad way like a duty to carry out, almost like she was kind of working of the Lord, saying this is what God wants you to do here, and I was like, oh, I don't know if I can.
00:21:09.140 --> 00:21:09.421
That's heavy.
00:21:10.009 --> 00:21:13.875
That's a responsibility, like I just thought I was coming to do some hair in a happy place, you know, um.
00:21:13.875 --> 00:21:19.941
But God has delivered that too, like just allowing me to not be overstimulated.
00:21:19.941 --> 00:21:29.472
I can be calm and I'm not stressed and I'm not worried about anything and I can listen well, and all the things that I've learned over the years from the Bible and from you know walking with the Lord.
00:21:29.472 --> 00:21:36.565
It's like God has the perfect thing for that person at that time, and I'm that vessel right.
00:21:36.630 --> 00:21:36.750
Like.
00:21:36.750 --> 00:21:38.478
It's just like in our freedom retreats.
00:21:39.152 --> 00:21:44.240
It's just the conduit whatever he wants and it was never really built, designed as a moneymaker.
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:46.719
You know, it's a place for her to work really, and that's all it's ever been.
00:21:46.719 --> 00:21:57.036
Sometimes I encourage her, you know know a little bit a little pushback, you know, yeah, it's always been just a place for her to work and that's what ultimately, it's like a safe haven.
00:21:58.298 --> 00:22:00.423
You walk into there and it's just.
00:22:00.482 --> 00:22:07.701
It's so peaceful and so coming out of that season I could tell you know that impacted you a lot.
00:22:07.721 --> 00:22:10.902
There's obviously a lot that you wanted to do protecting your woman, watching out for your wife that you know that impacted you a lot.
00:22:10.902 --> 00:22:11.357
There's obviously a lot that you wanted to do.
00:22:11.357 --> 00:22:17.471
Protecting your woman, watching out for your wife that you know being offshore probably kept you from doing all that you wanted to do.
00:22:17.471 --> 00:22:21.339
What did y'all learn through that season?
00:22:21.339 --> 00:22:24.673
What was god doing in you through y'all?
00:22:24.673 --> 00:22:42.094
Because I mean we understand, like said, moments that bring strain within a relationship can also bear strength down the road through those things, because through it all we bond and get closer and learn some things If we choose, yeah, if you choose.
00:22:42.153 --> 00:22:42.516
that's right.
00:22:42.516 --> 00:22:50.300
So I'd love to hear some of what God was doing through y'all in y'all and y'all's relationship At that time.
00:22:50.300 --> 00:22:57.080
At that time and on the other side of it, I'd say the other side of it has brought us closer ultimately.
00:22:57.101 --> 00:23:00.881
You know, because the struggles you do get close when you go through struggles and you go through them together.
00:23:00.881 --> 00:23:06.720
You know it's um, it's always a battle, but if you're fighting it together, it's uh, it's better in the long run.
00:23:08.423 --> 00:23:26.092
I'll say, too, that I've always been pretty independent and I think I really learned in that season that I need him and that was probably a prideful thing that I always was like, no, I'm blessed and I want him and I'm happy that he's my husband and we're married.
00:23:26.092 --> 00:23:31.180
I don't need, he needs me, I need him, I do, I love it.
00:23:31.730 --> 00:23:50.084
But it was almost like a it's crazy it took that long and to go through that but just like a resting in that, like God put him here and I'm his helpmate, but like it's so peaceful there, like to just be like yep got me.
00:23:53.710 --> 00:23:55.614
I don't know that I ever felt so loved by you either, except through all that.
00:23:55.614 --> 00:24:00.042
Like every time, I was like babe, it's just getting to be so much.
00:24:00.042 --> 00:24:02.193
So much money, so much stress, so much pressure.
00:24:02.193 --> 00:24:03.136
It's so much, it's so much.
00:24:03.136 --> 00:24:10.385
And he's like every single time, without fail do it the way you want it, do it the way you want it, do it the way you want it.
00:24:11.089 --> 00:24:11.872
Do it the way you want it.
00:24:11.872 --> 00:24:12.512
Do it the way you want it.
00:24:12.512 --> 00:24:13.094
Do it the way you want it.
00:24:13.094 --> 00:24:13.413
That's awesome.
00:24:13.413 --> 00:24:14.056
What was going on inside of you?
00:24:14.056 --> 00:24:15.878
To just be that voice for her?
00:24:16.881 --> 00:24:22.463
um, just knowing how particular she is and making sure that she has it the way she wants it, because we've already fought this hard.
00:24:22.484 --> 00:24:25.253
So yeah, bring it over the finish line.
00:24:25.253 --> 00:24:26.215
Don't cut corners.
00:24:26.215 --> 00:24:26.936
No need to settle.
00:24:27.617 --> 00:24:28.199
Why stop now?
00:24:28.579 --> 00:24:30.262
If we're in this war we're going to win it.
00:24:30.262 --> 00:24:33.796
I mean, let's go, I love it.
00:24:33.796 --> 00:24:35.056
So that was a few years ago.
00:24:35.056 --> 00:24:40.182
You've had plenty of time in there doing ministry, doing amazing things.
00:24:40.182 --> 00:24:41.635
I know Bethany loves going.
00:24:42.012 --> 00:24:50.575
You do a phenomenal job, it's my kids that actually got me to your salon, because Evie was like I want this tip to do.
00:24:50.575 --> 00:24:57.681
And you know, one of Dustin, our really good friends, like a couple, was doing my hair before and he was doing dust.
00:24:57.681 --> 00:25:00.419
He still does Dustin's hair and Asher's sometimes.
00:25:03.396 --> 00:25:07.176
And we let them pick and Evie was like I want to go.
00:25:07.176 --> 00:25:09.836
Yes, Evie was like I want this tip to cut my hair.
00:25:09.836 --> 00:25:12.356
So I was like, okay, I was like, yay, I get to hang out with Miss Tiff.
00:25:12.356 --> 00:25:23.742
And then Asher was ready for like a big boy haircut and ready to chop the curls and he was like I want to go to Miss.
00:25:23.763 --> 00:25:24.727
He said I want to look like dad.
00:25:24.727 --> 00:25:31.896
Yes, oh really, he was like I want to look like dad.
00:25:31.896 --> 00:25:37.217
So Tiff gave him his first big boy haircut and, yes, we look forward to every appointment.
00:25:37.576 --> 00:25:39.721
That's right, so oh go ahead.
00:25:40.041 --> 00:25:46.174
I was going to say that, if we're going to talk about all this anyway, the divine part really didn't come until the end and we really haven't touched on that.
00:25:46.295 --> 00:25:46.596
Okay.
00:25:47.159 --> 00:25:49.438
So we get through the process.
00:25:49.438 --> 00:25:52.113
Touched on that, okay, so we get through the process.
00:25:52.133 --> 00:25:52.615
We're at the very end.
00:25:52.634 --> 00:25:55.342
We pay as we go, you know as far as the builder goes.
00:25:55.342 --> 00:25:58.873
So, um, so we have a construction loan at this point, variable interest rate, behind you.
00:25:58.873 --> 00:26:02.760
Um, we're at the very end of it.
00:26:02.760 --> 00:26:15.357
He pulls the permits, closes the permits, never, does a final inspection so it can never be released to us, tells all the subs never to talk to us.
00:26:15.357 --> 00:26:20.378
So we're ultimately left with pretty much a fully funded building.
00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:22.002
No, that we can't use.
00:26:23.109 --> 00:26:24.857
Finished too, also Sorry.
00:26:24.857 --> 00:26:26.035
90% finished.
00:26:26.135 --> 00:26:28.375
Yeah, we had to insulate the attic, build out your bathroom.
00:26:28.394 --> 00:26:29.017
Yeah, and he walked away from it.
00:26:29.017 --> 00:26:30.761
Yeah, we had to insulate the attic, build out your bathroom.
00:26:30.761 --> 00:26:33.349
Yeah, and he walked away from it, wow.
00:26:34.330 --> 00:26:34.592
Just like.
00:26:34.592 --> 00:26:35.720
I'm going to stick it to you, just to.
00:26:35.720 --> 00:26:37.069
So we were left with.
00:26:37.069 --> 00:26:38.375
I'm going to just make this real hard for y'all.
00:26:39.157 --> 00:26:41.457
Wow, and no one wants to come in at the end.
00:26:41.910 --> 00:26:43.130
Because you don't know what's behind the walls.
00:26:43.130 --> 00:26:47.821
They're like it's super fishy is probably the first thing most contractors think.
00:26:48.310 --> 00:26:48.570
Yeah.
00:26:48.570 --> 00:26:56.567
Good luck, guys have fun with this and because you can't pull the permits yourself, because it's commercial.
00:26:56.586 --> 00:26:57.410
Because it's commercial.
00:26:57.691 --> 00:26:59.250
I can't even schedule a final inspection.
00:26:59.250 --> 00:27:00.615
So then, what did y'all do?
00:27:06.556 --> 00:27:07.839
You're going to make me cry.
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:16.037
Well, fortunately this wasn't our first thing.
00:27:16.037 --> 00:27:18.480
We've done building or doing or whatever.
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:28.077
We've worked with some really great people and we've had some really great relationships with people and the Lord created me to love people and have good relationships with people.
00:27:28.077 --> 00:27:33.048
And so, through just experience of doing hair and I mean we pulled every string, we knew every person.
00:27:33.048 --> 00:27:38.750
We knew we knew contractors, we knew plumbers, we knew electricians and we found people who just we already.
00:27:38.750 --> 00:27:40.535
I mean they were busy.
00:27:40.535 --> 00:27:41.557
Some of them couldn't help.
00:27:41.557 --> 00:27:48.637
Some of them were like, well, this is sticky because we know this person and they work with that person and they'll never get work again, but they helped us find a different person.
00:27:49.699 --> 00:27:55.849
Ultimately, our neighbor is a retired commercial contractor who just happened to still have his license and happened to still have his insurance.
00:27:55.849 --> 00:27:57.796
Wow, everything divine.
00:27:58.365 --> 00:28:10.628
And he didn't even really, I would say, understand what was going on, but he knew our character enough to trust and just say like y'all, just fill out whatever paperwork and I'm here for you.
00:28:10.650 --> 00:28:11.009
Wow, that's awesome.
00:28:11.029 --> 00:28:22.387
He went with us to the inspection office to talk to the man in charge and just be like, hey, here's the whole situation and I'm here to to be here for these people, but it's really their project, you know.
00:28:22.647 --> 00:28:33.432
And but he was just there for you just there for us god orchestrated that relationship the neighbor to be there when this guy was just trying to, I mean, put y'all in a bond y'all couldn't get out of.
00:28:33.945 --> 00:28:37.175
And that's not the first time that neighbor had kind of seen something in us.
00:28:37.175 --> 00:28:41.650
He saw something in James and gave him another deal and really helped him out.
00:28:41.650 --> 00:28:45.690
Years before that he has a propensity to be kind to us.
00:28:46.030 --> 00:28:46.692
That's awesome.
00:28:46.692 --> 00:28:49.096
It's the favor of the Lord upon you guys in that manner.
00:28:49.096 --> 00:28:54.565
God just working it out so y'all could pull the permit and get it over the finish line, yep.
00:28:54.984 --> 00:28:56.069
And it's been downhill ever since.
00:28:56.069 --> 00:28:56.592
It's been great.
00:28:56.592 --> 00:28:58.330
So, no issues since then.
00:28:59.385 --> 00:29:01.673
But what a war and a battle to go through, huh.
00:29:02.625 --> 00:29:07.913
And his parents are, like I would say, are spiritual, covering mine for sure.
00:29:07.913 --> 00:29:16.799
And with him being gone so much, I mean she probably had an hour every night of just listening to me, let it out and just say why is he so horrible.
00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:18.351
And you know what are we going to do?
00:29:18.351 --> 00:29:22.733
And every single conversation she didn't have answers, you know, but she would just reassure us.
00:29:22.733 --> 00:29:25.038
This is the enemy Press in.
00:29:25.038 --> 00:29:27.330
The Lord
provided, just keep going.
00:29:27.951 --> 00:29:28.653
That's amazing.
00:29:28.673 --> 00:29:29.676
We're praying for y'all.
00:29:29.676 --> 00:29:31.030
We're praying for your marriage.
00:29:31.785 --> 00:29:32.948
Lost my job at the end of it too.
00:29:32.948 --> 00:29:37.016
Okay, the cherry on top.
00:29:38.325 --> 00:29:53.432
He's like hire whoever I'll help you with, like fund it, Like don't worry about it, and then oh, Like were you at least past the permit part when you lost your job?
00:29:53.451 --> 00:29:54.517
no, oh, this was like a few months before we finished.
00:29:54.517 --> 00:29:56.585
Oh my goodness, this was the fall before he calls me one day.
00:29:56.625 --> 00:30:06.796
He's like I'm coming home and I'm like oh, the job ended soon, not exactly for me, for me, it did yeah I wasn't at the best place and we're at an impasse and it just.
00:30:06.855 --> 00:30:10.313
You know it wasn't the right time, but sometimes it's but looking back.
00:30:10.313 --> 00:30:16.592
So at that point I got to navigate the final issues here, be there get everything on track.
00:30:16.592 --> 00:30:17.414
Move her in.
00:30:17.928 --> 00:30:18.491
God's timing.
00:30:18.491 --> 00:30:25.307
Yes, I had been buying, you know, gigantic mirrors and chairs and things I can't move by myself and storing them in our garage anytime they go on sale.
00:30:25.307 --> 00:30:27.172
I'm like, well, I've been tracking it, I'd buy it on sale.
00:30:27.172 --> 00:30:28.776
He was home.
00:30:28.776 --> 00:30:29.537
We rented a U-Haul.
00:30:29.537 --> 00:30:34.191
We were sitting there going what would we do if you weren't home right now?
00:30:34.191 --> 00:30:36.598
How would I have ever paid the man if he hadn't come home?
00:30:36.739 --> 00:30:40.346
Yeah, Well, let me back up a little bit.
00:30:40.346 --> 00:30:42.609
When you lost your job, what was going through your mind?
00:30:42.609 --> 00:30:45.153
Knowing that the project's going on?
00:30:45.153 --> 00:30:50.160
You got like what before you made that phone call to Tiffany.
00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:50.980
Like what were you?
00:30:51.967 --> 00:30:54.073
what you know, I don't know.
00:30:54.073 --> 00:31:01.593
Yeah, not nothing like terrible or bad, because we've always been pretty smart with money.
00:31:01.593 --> 00:31:06.446
I think Not crazy with it you know, and live well within our means and God's always provided and he's.
00:31:06.446 --> 00:31:11.590
I've always had his favor in my projects and working and it's never been an issue.
00:31:11.590 --> 00:31:16.535
So even with that at that point it was a lot.
00:31:16.535 --> 00:31:20.298
But it was also coming up in the industry.
00:31:20.298 --> 00:31:24.942
I've come up in it's very feast or famine and I've always been taken care of.
00:31:26.005 --> 00:31:27.209
God's always taken care of us.
00:31:27.209 --> 00:31:28.815
So you're in that season, you're just able to lean in.
00:31:29.326 --> 00:31:31.092
It's something I've been
training for.
00:31:31.192 --> 00:31:36.690
at that point there was a little bit of a hard spell for you afterward, when things didn't pick up right away.
00:31:36.891 --> 00:31:38.394
Yeah, and that was hard.
00:31:39.365 --> 00:31:40.990
It was hard for me to watch you go through that.
00:31:40.990 --> 00:31:42.075
I didn't know.
00:31:42.075 --> 00:31:47.851
I mean, sometimes it would just be so heavy I'd want to get in the car and go for a drive just to get out of the house.
00:31:47.851 --> 00:31:48.672
And he'd be like where are you going?
00:31:48.672 --> 00:31:50.755
Don't leave and I'm like, well, you're not happy with me here.
00:31:50.815 --> 00:31:54.701
I figure I might just evade for a minute and he's like no, stay.
00:31:54.701 --> 00:31:58.247
And I'm like okay, definitely.
00:31:58.247 --> 00:32:07.017
That was hard for me to watch you go through that and not know when it was going to end, not know when he was going to be back to his normal self.
00:32:07.576 --> 00:32:12.530
We went through that in the beginning of our marriage too, though yeah, we did Was that like searching for a job it wasn't the same.
00:32:12.550 --> 00:32:13.644
Was that like when you were trying to find work?
00:32:13.644 --> 00:32:14.487
I?
00:32:14.527 --> 00:32:15.972
don't think so, I don't know.
00:32:16.204 --> 00:32:17.652
Probably the right work is the thing.
00:32:17.652 --> 00:32:19.674
It was just low.
00:32:21.665 --> 00:32:49.557
So you have to imagine, in my industry I In my industry I was coming off of a very sought-after position, Very hard to come by and not remember people had it, and so then I had to go down and look a little bit and humbling, you know, but every step is, but every time God moves you down, he'll move you back up, because underwater welding or something amazing like that, yeah.
00:32:49.557 --> 00:32:53.634
But, but now I've moved into just operation services.
00:32:53.634 --> 00:32:54.115
Yeah.
00:32:54.134 --> 00:32:55.156
Something totally different.
00:32:55.156 --> 00:33:08.375
But, um, but I used to, you know, think of myself as the provider and as soon as we got married, I don't think I worked for eight months straight and I never had that.
00:33:08.375 --> 00:33:08.515
So I remember coming home just happy Like I'm, like I don't think I worked for eight months straight and I never had that.
00:33:09.506 --> 00:33:11.373
I remember coming home just happy.
00:33:11.373 --> 00:33:15.310
I'm like I can pay the bills, it's fine, I make enough to cover it.
00:33:15.310 --> 00:33:19.250
We don't have to have an extravagant life, it's fine, I'm just happy I'm married.
00:33:19.250 --> 00:33:20.630
And he's like I don't deserve this.
00:33:20.630 --> 00:33:25.631
I don't understand why God's doing this to me, because who's the provider?
00:33:28.724 --> 00:33:29.386
God, because who's the provider?
00:33:29.386 --> 00:33:29.467
God?
00:33:29.467 --> 00:33:29.747
That's right.
00:33:29.747 --> 00:33:31.971
That's literally
the conversation that we had.
00:33:31.971 --> 00:33:34.096
Was it yesterday or the day before?
00:33:34.096 --> 00:33:35.278
The day before yesterday?
00:33:35.865 --> 00:33:36.528
Because we came.
00:33:36.528 --> 00:33:52.657
I mean, if you fast forward, aside from the conversations we've been having the last couple of days, if you go back to 2015, for us, god was calling us out of a season where we were making really good money for you know, 25 year olds, we were he was yeah.
00:33:52.678 --> 00:33:53.741
I was in middle management.
00:33:53.741 --> 00:33:54.345
You know what I mean.
00:33:54.345 --> 00:33:56.776
I mean like a corporate ladder, that's right.
00:33:57.076 --> 00:34:00.307
On the path, for you know, towards executive leadership in a few years.
00:34:00.307 --> 00:34:14.034
And, um, we were married two years at that point, but she was in PT school and so we were, you know, paying as we went and God called us into a season of moving to a job that was a commission.
00:34:14.114 --> 00:34:16.467
Only, um, and it was a partnership.
00:34:16.487 --> 00:34:19.760
It was entrepreneurial and I mean we took six months.
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:27.514
That was a six month period of us, you know, praying, seeking God's face, seeking wise counsel, and and there were like 10,000 reasons why we shouldn't do it.
00:34:27.514 --> 00:34:30.099
But we knew God told us to do it.
00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:39.315
And so we did, including people that we trust and we honor and we respect Even they, and they hear from the Lord.
00:34:39.315 --> 00:34:41.050
But even they were like is this wise?
00:34:41.050 --> 00:34:42.911
Are you sure, are you hearing from the Lord?
00:34:42.911 --> 00:34:46.896
And which would also like are we making the right decision?
00:34:46.896 --> 00:34:51.556
For sure, but there was the church that we went to at that time.
00:34:52.405 --> 00:35:00.211
We were talking before service about how I just feel, like you know, we need to get out of the boat.
00:35:00.211 --> 00:35:08.644
It's like we're in that comfort place and the Lord is calling, just like he talked to his disciples like come out of the boat, come into that unknown With me, though he come out of the boat, come into that unknown With me, though he's out of the boat.
00:35:08.644 --> 00:35:13.614
And that Sunday we're at church.
00:35:13.614 --> 00:35:16.259
And the pastor wasn't even talking about that.
00:35:16.259 --> 00:35:26.693
That wasn't even his main message, but he went off on a tangent and said, kind of like, when Jesus told Peter, step out of the boat, it's time for you to like, take that step of faith and step out of the boat.
00:35:26.693 --> 00:35:29.532
We looked at each other and we're like oh my God.
00:35:29.532 --> 00:35:32.128
But that was peace.
00:35:32.128 --> 00:35:33.293
Yeah, there was.
00:35:33.373 --> 00:35:42.793
It was scary but we can look back on that season and know that God worked so much in I know my heart, but financially it was horrible.
00:35:43.445 --> 00:35:45.429
I mean, we lost everything but the house.
00:35:45.809 --> 00:35:47.032
And that's a miracle.
00:35:47.713 --> 00:35:49.958
I mean we lost everything but the house, and that's a miracle.
00:35:49.958 --> 00:35:50.760
I mean I had stock options.
00:35:50.760 --> 00:35:58.492
I mean just all kinds of stuff that we had to sell to survive for the next two years is what that season was a two-year season While I'm in PT school and we're paying tuition.
00:35:58.492 --> 00:36:00.653
Which we ended up having to take a loan.
00:36:00.673 --> 00:36:04.469
You know that kind of stuff, but the grace of God was still there the entire time.
00:36:04.469 --> 00:36:13.699
Like people would say hey, go to Walmart, I have a pickup order for you, and there'd be cleaning supplies like frozen food, you know, pantry food, all the things.
00:36:20.045 --> 00:36:22.152
And we love to eat out and but it was something we just had to give up, couldn't do, couldn't do.
00:36:22.152 --> 00:36:30.097
And almost every Sunday, a family and we did not tell people about our issues because we didn't want pity parties or you know, we're like the Lord will provide.
00:36:30.097 --> 00:36:38.190
And almost every Sunday someone would say hey, like y'all want to come eat out with us, and we're like no, no, no, it's like our treat, are you sure?
00:36:38.190 --> 00:36:47.835
Like yes, like we're not taking, no, we're like okay, and like we're some poor, broke people eating out at nice restaurants every weekend.
00:36:48.034 --> 00:36:49.818
And it was just like the Lord was like.
00:36:49.818 --> 00:36:50.358
I got you.
00:36:50.358 --> 00:36:56.318
I know your heart, even though you can't afford anything right now, barely even your bills.
00:36:56.501 --> 00:36:56.804
That's right.
00:36:57.425 --> 00:36:59.673
That verse is just blaring in my head.
00:36:59.673 --> 00:37:03.356
Like I clothe the birds and the flowers, and how much more.
00:37:04.367 --> 00:37:07.088
Like I'm not doing that right, but like you know what I'm saying, it's just like God's.
00:37:07.108 --> 00:37:08.934
Like I get give good gifts to my children.
00:37:09.074 --> 00:37:12.590
Like it's a gift and I remember in that season he loves us.
00:37:12.590 --> 00:37:24.476
There were two instances in that season where, you know, we had barely any money in our checking account and we would be at the now, at this point we're commissioned only so, like you know, getting paid next week.
00:37:24.476 --> 00:37:33.853
There wasn't any of that where God told us to write a check for the last bit that was in our account two separate times.
00:37:33.853 --> 00:37:34.375
I forgot about that.
00:37:34.394 --> 00:37:35.898
Yeah, and I was like, I mean, at that point it was, it was comical.
00:37:35.918 --> 00:37:36.739
It's like, okay, yep, here you go.
00:37:36.739 --> 00:37:39.891
You know, I mean it's whatever $32 or nothing we can do about it.
00:37:39.891 --> 00:37:47.275
Anyway,
okay, here you go, we'll be obedient, and every step of the way he provided.
00:37:47.275 --> 00:38:07.304
But what's interesting because you said that happened at the beginning and then it happened again after that season is whenever it almost seems like you go back, god brings you around a mountain five years, ten years later, whatever the number is, for us it's ten years later that you get in a similar situation and it can still be scary, still be unknown.
00:38:07.405 --> 00:38:08.349
Like Lord, I trust you.
00:38:08.349 --> 00:38:09.851
And I told her this week.
00:38:09.851 --> 00:38:18.311
I said babe, I feel like the guy that brought his child for God to deliver or Jesus to deliver him, and he's like do you believe?
00:38:18.311 --> 00:38:20.289
And the man answers Lord, I believe.
00:38:20.289 --> 00:38:21.713
Help my unbelief.
00:38:21.713 --> 00:38:30.190
Yeah, exactly, I was like that's what it feels like sometimes and you know, like Lord, I remember that past season, but it's still scary.
00:38:30.190 --> 00:38:30.891
This season.
00:38:31.030 --> 00:38:32.672
Sometimes you need a refresher and I don't like it.
00:38:32.672 --> 00:38:35.074
I don't like being a refresher, I like to think.
00:38:35.074 --> 00:38:35.574
I remember.
00:38:36.076 --> 00:38:42.021
But if it doesn't get more real then he went to, was it in Alexandria, lake Charles?
00:38:42.760 --> 00:38:44.965
Oh, Sulphur, Sulphur yeah.
00:38:44.985 --> 00:38:50.418
Thursday One of them places, but the first time he ever went to one of these.
00:38:51.286 --> 00:38:52.472
It's called Industry of Faith.
00:38:52.472 --> 00:39:01.072
It's a lunch that you just kind of people in the marketplace come together and a guy who runs the Industry of Faith Ministries.
00:39:01.072 --> 00:39:03.097
He gives a message Once a month.
00:39:03.097 --> 00:39:12.235
They do it in Lafayette every month, but I found out they also do it in Sulphur and Beaumont and Baton Rouge area and I have prospects for work in Sulphur.
00:39:12.235 --> 00:39:17.838
So I was like, well, let me go meet some Christian men and women that are in the marketplace going after God.
00:39:17.838 --> 00:39:26.179
And so I went for the first time last Thursday and the guy preached on Peter getting out of the boat and walking on water.
00:39:26.405 --> 00:39:29.144
And that's the exact thing, I sent her a screenshot and she was like oh, that's so exciting.
00:39:29.144 --> 00:39:30.891
I said this is scary, it's scary.
00:39:32.684 --> 00:39:35.414
Yes and yes, yes.
00:39:35.414 --> 00:39:49.001
But we're in a similar situation, like do we leave this comfort place of this job to take something else that seems, I mean, it's nothing really.
00:39:49.405 --> 00:39:50.489
And it might not even be our choice.
00:39:50.489 --> 00:39:52.094
It might not even be our choice, we're just seeking God.
00:39:52.574 --> 00:40:03.211
Yes, so, but just the fact that the exact scripture was like I've got you, I hear you, I trust you, I've carried you, then I will carry you now.
00:40:03.211 --> 00:40:05.465
Just trust me, step out of the boat.
00:40:05.726 --> 00:40:11.327
She's talking to me Step out of the boat.
00:40:11.327 --> 00:40:12.853
She's talking to me, by the way, step out of the boat, yeah, but yeah, yeah.
00:40:12.853 --> 00:40:13.436
So I feel you on that.
00:40:13.456 --> 00:40:23.429
The growth is always uncomfortable that's the way it is always with anything it's always uncomfortable, but it's always necessary that's right, so much good comes out of it, it's true, I don't want it to come that way.
00:40:23.670 --> 00:40:26.313
No, it does I just you saying that makes me think.
00:40:26.313 --> 00:40:35.777
When we lived in texas, um my husband, the master of ideas and side hustles, that's a good one.
00:40:35.856 --> 00:40:52.210
That's a good, that's a good thing sometimes maybe debatable we um, one of them was a t-shirt business but it was and it was great, but it was the name of the t-shirt company was broken and kind of like.
00:40:52.210 --> 00:40:54.195
We're all like broken vessels, you know what I mean.
00:40:54.195 --> 00:41:06.545
Um, but the idea of the business was workout attire and it was just like one word, like bold persevere persevere pure, loved whatever.
00:41:06.545 --> 00:41:11.858
Across the front and then the back was like a spine scripture reference to support.
00:41:11.925 --> 00:41:13.309
We were doing the spinal prints before.
00:41:13.309 --> 00:41:13.791
They were cool.
00:41:13.791 --> 00:41:14.713
This is true.
00:41:14.713 --> 00:41:15.396
This is true.
00:41:16.146 --> 00:41:17.070
We should have copyrighted it.
00:41:17.070 --> 00:41:23.300
But the whole idea about the broken was it's tough.
00:41:23.300 --> 00:41:24.664
It's hard, Like your muscles.
00:41:24.664 --> 00:41:29.927
They have to be broken to be able to be rebuilt and we don't like the process.
00:41:29.927 --> 00:41:32.132
It doesn't feel good but we like the effects afterwards.
00:41:32.494 --> 00:41:35.268
That's right and it's to remember in that season you know that.
00:41:35.268 --> 00:41:41.534
Hey, last time I was going through this I didn't enjoy it, but gotta lean in because look what's on the other side.
00:41:41.534 --> 00:41:49.818
You know god, he sees his promises are yes and amen yeah, so anyhow, anything else y'all want to add on that season?
00:41:50.365 --> 00:42:05.192
that was a lot of it, so glad that part's over hey and now I don't mind the lot because it's small and I have to mow it so now you're appreciative he chooses to mow it nice I mowed it happily while he was away you weeded it.
00:42:05.492 --> 00:42:09.039
No, we hired a retired man to weed eat.
00:42:09.039 --> 00:42:12.054
Okay, and that was also nice that we got to help employ him.
00:42:12.335 --> 00:42:12.657
Yeah.
00:42:12.737 --> 00:42:13.639
A sweet man from church.
00:42:14.001 --> 00:42:14.724
That's awesome.
00:42:14.724 --> 00:42:17.751
Yeah Heck, yeah, weed eating is
the worst part.
00:42:17.751 --> 00:42:19.677
Yeah, she was like I don't know.
00:42:19.677 --> 00:42:21.210
She was like, hey, I'll jump on the mower at the house.
00:42:21.251 --> 00:42:32.190
I'm like well, that's I was like you need Almo, we'll cut the time in half, yeah, I appreciate it, but it's kind of nice, that's what I said too.
00:42:33.746 --> 00:42:34.126
That's right.
00:42:34.126 --> 00:42:37.913
Well then, I guess we're ready to move on to the ABCs of the Elevation Room.
00:42:37.913 --> 00:42:42.871
So A is what advice would you give to your younger self?
00:42:43.885 --> 00:42:44.969
Compound interest is real.
00:42:45.726 --> 00:42:47.110
I love it, it's so practical.
00:42:47.110 --> 00:42:49.088
The man is smart.
00:42:49.088 --> 00:42:50.954
Real, the man is smart, the man is smart.
00:42:50.954 --> 00:42:51.865
What about you, tiff?
00:42:54.851 --> 00:42:58.217
I would say I feel like this is cliche, but I really mean it.
00:42:58.217 --> 00:43:00.329
Stop worrying about what everybody else thinks.
00:43:00.329 --> 00:43:03.478
Just do what you know you were created to do.
00:43:03.478 --> 00:43:11.590
I really feel like right now, everything that I do is what little kid Tiffany enjoyed doing oh, wow and it's such.
00:43:11.590 --> 00:43:17.271
It's a mature correlation, of course, but it's it's so fulfilling and everything in between was just a big mess.
00:43:17.271 --> 00:43:19.275
Just a big mess.
00:43:19.275 --> 00:43:28.030
Trying to be trying to compare and will they, and whatever, like, just really stop caring, whatever that usually happens later in life, though I think right.
00:43:29.090 --> 00:43:35.606
People stop caring I think so it's yeah, yeah if you listen to the 70 and 80 year olds at the coffee shop?
00:43:35.626 --> 00:43:38.072
they don't they don't care at all no filter.
00:43:39.215 --> 00:43:40.036
Do what you want to do.
00:43:40.117 --> 00:43:44.532
Wear what you want to wear you do you yeah, and you know it's again.
00:43:44.532 --> 00:43:46.077
People say it's all cliche.
00:43:46.077 --> 00:43:46.518
You know you.
00:43:46.518 --> 00:43:50.833
You attract people who are like you and that's comfortable and nice and wonderful.
00:43:51.315 --> 00:43:54.525
Yeah, I would say it's easy to make friends when you're younger.
00:43:54.525 --> 00:43:56.929
I had a lot of friends, it didn't matter, you know.
00:43:58.186 --> 00:44:05.807
Yeah, that's something that I found that I always knew a lot of people but wasn't really good at maintaining friendships.
00:44:05.807 --> 00:44:10.713
You know, until I tried to be more intentional about it, maybe a few years ago.
00:44:10.713 --> 00:44:17.739
But yeah, I would just kind of go with the flow and the next thing, you know, it's like wait, I don't have any friends.
00:44:17.739 --> 00:44:19.121
What's going on?
00:44:20.204 --> 00:44:26.389
Yeah, definitely a big part of being intentional about life and who you want to surround yourself with, Exactly exactly.
00:44:26.389 --> 00:44:35.708
So the B is books that have made the greatest impact books that made the greatest impact.
00:44:35.708 --> 00:44:36.190
Go first.
00:44:37.333 --> 00:44:37.673
Go ahead.
00:44:39.501 --> 00:44:43.391
The five love languages for marriage, for friends.
00:44:43.391 --> 00:44:45.346
Look for them in kids.
00:44:45.346 --> 00:44:49.288
I don't have kids, but there's a lot of kids in my life.
00:44:49.288 --> 00:44:58.311
I love a lot and I think I try to hone in on what their love language is and that proves to be good relationship-building material.
00:44:58.311 --> 00:45:03.190
And then good old Dave Ramsey.
00:45:03.190 --> 00:45:05.788
Anything about Dave Ramsey that's been beneficial for us.
00:45:06.119 --> 00:45:07.505
Yes, it has been very beneficial.
00:45:07.505 --> 00:45:11.748
That's awesome, even though the after part isn't very clear.
00:45:12.239 --> 00:45:18.467
Yeah, he should get more instruction on when you get to the seventh step, Like what to do then yeah, yeah, he's got.
00:45:18.889 --> 00:45:20.293
He's got a whole lot of books out there.
00:45:20.293 --> 00:45:21.699
Now he's turning them out.
00:45:21.699 --> 00:45:23.864
Yeah, I quit reading them yeah, there you go.
00:45:23.925 --> 00:45:31.018
It's a fantastic, fantastic foundation for your finances concept yeah, you want to take strain out of things right there with money.
00:45:31.038 --> 00:45:32.240
There you go yeah, there you go.
00:45:32.240 --> 00:45:34.105
That's one big chip off the table for sure.
00:45:34.105 --> 00:45:35.947
So what are y'all's love languages?
00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:43.846
Yours is active service, steady Constantly.
00:45:44.266 --> 00:45:45.548
Yours is ever-changing.
00:45:46.150 --> 00:45:56.750
Well, I have found, but normally it's Quality time maintains the main one, and when I take the quiz there's usually a close second and it's whatever I'm deficient in.
00:45:57.260 --> 00:45:58.806
Oh, okay, that makes sense.
00:45:59.061 --> 00:46:00.286
I got a full-time job right there.
00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:03.842
I'm pretty clear about letting you know what it is.
00:46:04.545 --> 00:46:05.047
Well, that's good.
00:46:05.047 --> 00:46:06.306
At least you don't keep it bottled up.
00:46:06.306 --> 00:46:12.764
Did y'all go through the book together, or did y'all just kind of one of y'all do it and then share it with the other?
00:46:13.344 --> 00:46:15.567
I read it and then we both did the quiz.
00:46:15.867 --> 00:46:17.949
The five love languages I've read it as well.
00:46:17.949 --> 00:46:20.072
I have Maybe more than once.
00:46:20.813 --> 00:46:21.393
I didn't know that.
00:46:21.393 --> 00:46:22.655
That's important Learn something new.
00:46:23.016 --> 00:46:23.536
I have not.
00:46:23.536 --> 00:46:29.409
I depend on him to tell me yeah, she does not read, so I have to translate whatever.
00:46:29.429 --> 00:46:30.512
I'm like, babe, this is really good.
00:46:30.512 --> 00:46:31.313
You should
read this.
00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:38.887
She was like just give me the cliff notes, Built-in cliff notes, Audio books I'm getting better at audio books.
00:46:38.887 --> 00:46:39.349
My really good friend.
00:46:39.349 --> 00:46:41.856
She recently published books.
00:46:41.856 --> 00:46:47.090
She has two devotionals Plug for Carrie Riva De Niro, there you go.
00:46:47.090 --> 00:46:56.570
But she has two devotionals and she has a book prior to that and I am working my way through.
00:46:56.570 --> 00:47:00.844
I'm going to do it and I'm waiting for her to.
00:47:00.844 --> 00:47:02.244
One of them is on audio.
00:47:02.840 --> 00:47:06.791
But the others, I'm waiting, I'm trying, I'm trying.
00:47:06.791 --> 00:47:15.186
I'm not a quick processor, so I'm a slow reader, and then I'm also kind of ADD, so I'm like, what did I just read?
00:47:15.186 --> 00:47:26.244
Because my brain goes here and it's not necessarily relaxing for me and I need to read my Bible, and so that's your capacity, that is my capacity.
00:47:29.746 --> 00:47:34.329
Praise the Lord, I'm working, we're all a work in progress, that's right.
00:47:34.920 --> 00:47:36.927
So I have not read the five love languages.
00:47:36.967 --> 00:47:44.867
But yeah, but mine's pretty clear, and so is yours, about acts of service, maybe quality time, quality time yeah.
00:47:44.867 --> 00:47:47.630
And then physical touch for me and words of affirmation.
00:47:47.630 --> 00:47:48.795
Yeah.
00:47:49.579 --> 00:48:07.748
So, and it was good for, like, when I read it, because it allowed me to put words to some of the feelings and, you know, maybe some of the things we hadn't been able to really talk clearly with one another about because just couldn't really put words to other than like your words hurt, cry me a river, you know, like it's always good when you have some perspective.
00:48:07.788 --> 00:48:08.911
That's right, that's right.
00:48:10.201 --> 00:48:21.724
I would also like to say having a great pastor is so valuable as a newlywed, because when we were newlyweds we had an amazing pastor who spoke only on Wednesday nights and the topic was always family and marriage.
00:48:21.844 --> 00:48:27.826
Oh, that's awesome, and so a lot of the books that I read in the beginning um, I almost want to say foolproof.
00:48:27.826 --> 00:48:35.420
I don't think that's totally applicable, but we got off to another great start, just like we did with money with Dave Ramsey from books that um got off to another great start.
00:48:35.420 --> 00:48:36.300
Just like we did with money with dave ramsey from books that um.
00:48:36.521 --> 00:48:38.887
Pastor david boda would recommend on wednesday nights.
00:48:38.887 --> 00:48:39.648
That's awesome.
00:48:39.648 --> 00:48:49.567
I think most of that just relates to putting effort into what you're doing, regardless of what it is for sure, what you put time and effort into will grow yep, very good point.
00:48:50.148 --> 00:48:55.561
So the last, c is uh,
cherished family traditions is everyone always?
00:48:55.601 --> 00:48:56.061
look at me?
00:48:56.061 --> 00:48:58.664
For me, I think it's probably she doesn't.
00:48:58.664 --> 00:48:59.963
I don't really have very many traditions.
00:48:59.963 --> 00:49:01.005
I have a very small family.
00:49:01.005 --> 00:49:05.047
I would say our game night, which is really kind of new.
00:49:05.047 --> 00:49:10.110
It started during COVID, yeah, and it's just something that we do online.
00:49:10.110 --> 00:49:13.893
My family is probably five people, six people, I don't know.
00:49:13.934 --> 00:49:24.090
We lose them, they don't get replenished, but we get together and do a so we're eight people Eight your parents, and then you and your two siblings and the spouses Eight.
00:49:24.452 --> 00:49:25.617
All right, there you go, benjamin.
00:49:27.322 --> 00:49:28.085
Oh, it is growing.
00:49:28.085 --> 00:49:28.565
One nephew.
00:49:30.721 --> 00:49:34.422
So we do a game night and we don't really play games anymore.
00:49:34.422 --> 00:49:40.512
We used to play boggle online because family around the country and um, so it's just nice.
00:49:40.512 --> 00:49:44.503
We get on once a month and my mom kind of she'll do through like a zoom.
00:49:44.503 --> 00:49:51.806
Oh, that's pretty cool exactly your mom kind of spearheads it and make sure you're there and gotta love, hold you accountable.
00:49:51.827 --> 00:49:59.047
Yeah, gotta love mom for that his mom's mantra is all my babies in one place, and so zoom once a month is a way that can happen.
00:49:59.128 --> 00:50:06.228
That's sweet oh that's cool, intentional, you know exactly it's kind of cool too, because before covid we all live in different states.
00:50:06.228 --> 00:50:13.481
Well, now your mom's back in the same state as your sister, but at one point we were all in different states and I think the only time we were all together was at christmas.
00:50:13.481 --> 00:50:15.804
But then COVID Christmas, that didn't happen.
00:50:15.804 --> 00:50:40.740
And so while they're all family, they still are only really seeing each other about once a year, maybe twice, and then the spouses don't necessarily know each other that well, and I'll say in the beginning the game was needed, because there was not, I mean conversation wasn't free flowing and at some point little bits of conversation would start and somebody started saying, okay, what was everyone's dumpster fire, what was everyone's special?
00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:46.746
so, like the worst and the best thing that happened since we met last, those things then created follow-up conversation.
00:50:46.746 --> 00:50:52.865
At some point the game wasn't needed and we just have we call it game nights too we still call it game that's awesome, though.
00:50:52.945 --> 00:50:53.568
I love that.
00:50:53.568 --> 00:50:54.108
What about you?
00:50:55.271 --> 00:50:59.887
um, I started this thing with the children in my life who I love.
00:50:59.887 --> 00:51:00.909
Some are my cousins kids.
00:51:00.909 --> 00:51:01.552
We still call it game night.
00:51:01.552 --> 00:51:02.853
That's awesome, though I love that, what about you?
00:51:02.853 --> 00:51:10.170
I started this thing with the children in my life who I love Some are my cousin's kids, some are my friend's kids and for birthdays, instead of giving a gift, I give a date, and so the goal is to say yes to everything that they ask for.
00:51:10.170 --> 00:51:17.545
So far, none of them have asked for something I can't give them, whether it's an experience or a gift, and have asked for something I can't give them.
00:51:17.545 --> 00:51:18.056
That's fun, whether it's an experience or a gift.
00:51:18.056 --> 00:51:19.818
Yeah, and it started as day dates, and then they learned they could ask to sleep over.
00:51:20.561 --> 00:51:22.065
And so now they're getting longer.
00:51:22.065 --> 00:51:22.608
Yes, yes.
00:51:23.701 --> 00:51:24.766
And that's really special.
00:51:24.766 --> 00:51:30.168
My cousin has six kids, and so the likelihood of any of them having one-on-one time with anyone is slim.
00:51:30.168 --> 00:51:33.889
And then, yeah, we just have a good time.
00:51:36.920 --> 00:51:37.221
That's awesome.
00:51:37.221 --> 00:51:37.541
I cherish it.
00:51:37.541 --> 00:51:40.509
Anything else you want to ask or add before we head out?
00:51:40.509 --> 00:51:42.213
Awesome.
00:51:42.213 --> 00:51:45.831
Well, if anyone wants to reach out to y'all, connect with y'all.
00:51:45.831 --> 00:51:47.262
What's the best way to do so?
00:51:47.262 --> 00:51:48.646
Just don't do it.
00:51:48.646 --> 00:51:50.009
Just don't do it.
00:51:50.108 --> 00:51:50.690
Introvert.
00:51:50.690 --> 00:51:51.952
Extrovert yes.
00:51:51.952 --> 00:51:59.108
The salon name is Le Coiffre, so it's L-E underscore.
00:52:00.677 --> 00:52:01.059
Coiffre Rowbridge.
00:52:01.099 --> 00:52:01.239
Okay, on.
00:52:01.601 --> 00:52:02.806
Instagram Awesome.
00:52:02.806 --> 00:52:05.106
Well, I know I've enjoyed the conversation.
00:52:05.106 --> 00:52:06.409
Thank y'all for being a part.
00:52:06.409 --> 00:52:07.702
Babe, have you enjoyed it?
00:52:08.106 --> 00:52:09.724
Yes, awesome, love my people.
00:52:09.764 --> 00:52:12.070
That's right Well if y'all still with us.
00:52:12.070 --> 00:52:14.393
Thank y'all for listening all the way through the end.
00:52:14.393 --> 00:52:21.126
Remember, in everything you do, to stay rooted in your purpose, living on purpose and walking with purpose.